'Detective,
In the early days of the League, before the Hassaikai and Liberation Army, Shigaraki moved with renewed purpose. His convictions magnetized members to join his cause. Dabi, Magne, Twice – everyone shared disgust for the hypocrisy of societal norms, and a special hatred for those that upheld them.
It was an exciting time. I, being the only non-villain member, was tasked with acquiring the necessary supplies to keep everyone fed and well. Twice would often accompany me; uninhibited by his secret identity. There were many times I wondered if Shigaraki made him my overseer in case I ran away, but I never mustered the courage to ask him.
Not surprisingly, I was also tasked with the cooking which often times proved more difficult than administering care. I had to factor in that Spinner was vegetarian and Atsuhiro's various allergies each time I went shopping. Despite the looting, killing, and other crimes that were being committed, everyone – save Dabi and Shigaraki – gathered to eat the dinner I made most nights.
Those are the times I long for the most. Me standing in the kitchen, preparing dinner with Atsuhiro leaning against the counter entertaining me with cheap parlor tricks. Or when Spinner would lurch into the hideout, arms and face bleeding, and I would spend the next few hours fixing him up. His hard-outward exterior gave in faster than the rest seeing as he was one of the younger members. He began to ask about myself despite the blush that never left his face.
Twice and I walking down the street towards the supermarket with the sun setting behind the towering buildings. Toga flashing her devilish smile at me while doodling in a journal I bought her. Magne fawning over me and assisting in whatever way she could in the kitchen. The strained yet electric moments with Dabi.
I hold these memories close to my heart.
Shortly before the assembly of the Vanguard Action Squad was to abduct the Bakugo from U.A., I met with Shigaraki in private. Once again, he forever changed the trajectory of my life and not for the better I am afraid. I am fairly sure if I declined his proposition; I would not be where I currently am.
In your last letter you mentioned Keigo. Yes, I will let you know when I feel ready.
- Rei'
"Curry, leeks (DISGUSTING!), cereal, extra bandages…"
My mind wandered as it often did whenever Twice rattled off the grocery list. Being in the grocery store always put me in a contemplative mood. I saw it as the meeting ground between light and dark; society and the underground. No one paid us any mind, and I was free to spectate and pretend I lived a normal life.
We were an unsuspecting pair, save for the occasional crazed outburst Twice would have.
I felt uneasy though. The sensation hit me as soon as we walked in through the automatic sliding doors. For this reason, I stuck close to Twice and quickly picked out the items we needed. No time for spectating today.
We soon found ourselves in line at the checkout shuffling along. Twice rambled off a few things he had forgotten and trotted off. Everything happened in quick succession from there.
The woman in front of me glanced back and kept her gaze fixated upon me as if trying to place me. A startling smile broke on her face stunning me with its brilliance. "Dr. Mimura? Oh, my goodness, what a surprise!" In a horrifying realization, I recognized her as the wife of a long-term patient I once cared for.
The trembling, which I thought I had under control, came in full tremors. A deafening, ringing silence came over me so I could not hear her prattling. I couldn't process what I was feeling but a white-hot coil began unwinding itself from the pit of my stomach. My thoughts were beginning to cloud, and the clouds darkened. Who was this angel? Why was she striking me down with her holy words? I, who was so low and ugly, had no right to stand before her blinding presence. The room tilted one way and then the other.
Suddenly a pair of strong arms lifted me; there was Twice holding me and returning conversation. We somehow made it through the line and out the supermarket with me being in a catatonic state. As soon as we reached the alley backways; I ripped myself out of his arms and threw up near a pair of trashcans.
"Jesus, Doc, get a grip – Are you alright?" Twice's voice sounded in the distance before I slipped to the floor. The gravel and dirt dug into my skin dully and the acrid smell of my own vomit plummeted me into darkness.
When I came to, I was in bed back in my room.
'This must be what a nightmare feels like,' I thought to myself.
My head pounded when I thought of the encounter. Pushing it far out of my mind I paused to take a steady breath before setting down the stairs to prepare dinner. My meditative solace. As I began to chop the vegetables, I couldn't shake the nagging thought that I had had that encounter before, and recently.
Dinner was quieter than usual. Only Twice, Atsuhiro, and I ate in contemplative silence. The others I assumed were fulfilling their various duties. Soon enough they too left for the night and I began to gather up the mismatched dinnerware. Outside a faint pitter patter could be heard and I wondered if the wet patch on the ceiling of my room would grow.
I made sure to turn off all the lights downstairs before making my way up the narrow steps to the second landing. Shigaraki's room was to the left of the stairway and mine was to the right. I stared for a moment at his door wondering if he was inside. If I should knock, he surely would not answer.
The rain outside swelled to a louder cacophony.
In my room I settled onto the thin mattress and threw my flimsy sheets over my head. I concentrated on the steady rainfall outside and soon feel asleep.
A loud crash rang out and I sprang up in fright. I waited in the dark to steady my racing heart and a subsequent metallic clatter followed. The muffled sounds and following groans alerted me that someone had been injured. I came stumbling down to the 'sick bay' in a disheveled state. There was no way of telling by the darkness if it was late at night or early morning. Securing the waist of my paper-thin apron, I hurried into the back room behind the bar and found our resident nighttime prowler. His eyes gleamed in the dim light and narrowed into slits when they beheld me. I was pulled in by their magnetism.
It was the same song and dance every time. I handed him a few painkillers, a glass of water, and asked to grit his teeth while I stapled the blackened pieces of his skin together. Our time spent, me hunched over his bare chest – him staring straight ahead at nothing – was fuzzy and didn't seem real. I fantasized that maybe these could serve as stand-ins for dreams.
This time felt more urgent, I could tell from his stiff and strained movements. I secured a face covering over my mouth to block out the stench of singed flesh. My fingers quickly went to work on restoring his patchwork and I soon fell into a rhythm; loop, loop, tug, knot, loop, loop, tug, knot. He would hiss on occasion.
Once I felt pleased with the stitches, I glanced down at the small pool of blood forming around his feet. "Legs?" I murmured lightly to which he contemplated and then slowly lowered himself onto his back.
I was surprised he had obliged. Must have been a rough night. As custom, I handed him painkillers; one mild and one of a stronger dosage. He knocked them back dry and raised the hem to his pants. The smell nearly knocked me out with its pungency. Fresh burns mixed with reopened scar tissue, I shook my head – this was no good. I got another pill and urged him to take it, "You're not going to want to be awake for this, trust me." He regarded my palm with distrusting eyes but took it nonetheless.
I went to retrieve new tools and gauze waiting for their effect to kick in. He was already out cold when I returned to his bedside, after stringing up an IV drip I went to work cleaning, stitching, and stapling his flesh together.
I surveyed my work. A patchwork of bloodied, blackened, charred skin. Each mangled scrap had its' own story. It made me sad to see it, but I found his struggle beautiful. "Dabi, Dabi," I sighed at his unconscious figure. "What are we to do with you?" The question went unanswered, but I knew of a way to figure it out. I sat mulling over the prospect.
Throwing caution into the wind, I settled into a rickety chair and allowed my conscious to slip into his.
Darkness engulfed the scene save for a tiny flickering flame off in the distance. The piercing cries of a young child echoed. Pained, whimpering cries like that of a wounded animal – the child was being tortured. I neared the fire but kept in the shadows and found the child huddled by it laying on his side. "It's so hot mother, please help. Please help, please, help me." The young child repeated this sad refrain over and over. He began to weep from deep within his gut, racking inconsolable sobs.
I concentrated on his suppressed needs and focused my energy to envelope the red-haired boy with wintry air. His eyes flew open and peered into the surrounding darkness, "Mother?" He called out again and again. As much as I wanted to throw my arms around his neck, I couldn't let him see me.
That was the biggest limitation to my quirk – not being able to pick a familiar form in someone's dream. If he had conjured her, then maybe I could imitate her likeness but at the end of the day (or night I should say) I was an intruder. And dreams are so tenuous, the shared astral connection can snap so easily. If not careful, dreams could unravel into nightmares, become reoccurring or worse – we could get stuck in them. This was why I avoided digging around and usually focused on the unconscious feeling of the dream. By quickly analyzing the dreamscape I tuned into his need for his Mother and tapped into his memory of her. Atsuhiro and I are similar in this regard which was why we got along so well; we excelled in imitations. After all, dreams were simply that – dreams.
From where I hid, I could feel the power of his quirk overtaking him by the increase in temperature. He let out a low groan and the air around me threatened to sear my skin, but I continued to exert the comforting coldness. "It's alright." I whispered into his mind. "I'm here, I'm here." The heat waned as we neutralized our powers.
When I sensed his conscious slipping into full alertness, I promised that I would always be with him and that I loved him. I exited the dream and into my own quiet darkness.
Dabi was gone when I woke. Nothing new there. I contemplated the dream as I cleaned my tools, the patients' bed, and made my way into the main bar area to find the usual rabble. "Ravishing as always Mimura-san," Atsuhiro gave a deep sweeping bow. No matter how many times I insisted on him calling me by name he refused. When he rose, a bouquet of white lilies sprang out from his palm, "I offer but a humble gift," Needless to say I was stunned by the act and half expected the delicate flowers to burst into ash, but they were solid as the fist that gripped them, "How beautiful," I breathed out and traced my finger across their soft petals. They truly were beautiful; stark white and in full blossom – their aroma was divine.
Toga and Spinner made retching noises much to his chagrin but their antics did not bother me, I was completely taken and enamored by the gesture. "Ah Mimura-san, if we had only met under different circumstances." He lamented shaking his head slightly. A smile threatened to break upon my face but I kept up with his charade, and gave a curt nod, "How may I return the favor for such generosity?" A laugh sounded behind his mask, "I only ask I may be injured enough to receive your undivided attention." My smile faltered at his words, "No, I do not wish for that to happen." A blossoming fright emerged from deep in my stomach, it was almost foreboding. Before he sputtered a response I reached out for his hand, "Thank you," I squeezed it unconsciously and went on my way up the stairs. All the while I pondered the sudden sensation and why I felt the need to reaffirm the solidity of his hand. I failed to notice Twice walking in my direction and nearly knocked the both of us down.
"Hey Doc the boss is asking for you! He wants nothing to do with you!" I gave a slight wave before making my way to his room. Twice's doublespeak usually confused me but the thought of Shigaraki's possible company trumped any risk in disturbing him. The fear I felt earlier evaporated from my mind as I hurried up the stairs. I made quick work of depositing my flowers and freshening up before giving his door three firm knocks. A moment passed before his figure filled the doorway, "Rei, there's something I've been wanting to discuss, come inside." My throat immediately ran dry as I stiffly followed him in. It had been some time since I had seen him last, if it was possible his face looked even more gaunt. He sat on the foot of his bed and motioned me to take the only chair in the room. I tried to quell a growing want blooming in my stomach.
The room was bare and only held the essentials; a desk, a computer, a few books scattered in the corner. Shigaraki regarded me with a mild expression before drawing breath, "I'll cut to the chase Rei. I believe that you may prove to be of an even greater use to me." He spoke deliberately and I too chose my words with care. "In what way?" He leaned forward with a grim smirk splitting his face. "That pesky quirk of yours, perhaps it is not so useless as I previously thought. I want you to tell me all you can do with it." His forearms rested on his thighs, he was so close I could discern the roughened skin around his eyes. "I can show you better than I can explain." I returned his steady gaze hoping he could sense my determination. "I thought you might say that, here then," He reached into his pocket and revealed several white pills.
"I'm afraid I can't." His eyes narrowed at my response, "Melatonin affects my quirk, if I were to take it well – the consequences would be bad to say the least." I could tell my answer satisfied him, but he was unhappy by the way his forehead scrunched together. We shared a moment in silence. "Leave your door unlocked. I will come in the night. Then I can show you everything." I kept my voice steady and sure, hoping it would be enough to convince him.
Another silent pause.
"Very well."
He slipped the pills back into his pocket. "Let me ask you this before you go." I gave a single nod, my heart began thumping in my chest. "Have you ever dreamt of something and later found out it came true?" My fingers curled into my fist. I felt as if ice cubes were running down my spine. Shigaraki sneered, "My, how fascinating Rei. In that case – "
"I haven't had a dream in a long time." I blurted out before I could gather my thoughts together. "When I was younger, I had awful dreams. Terrible things happening to people I had never met. I didn't sleep very often and became depressed. I almost killed myself," I smiled faintly thinking of Reiji and how he saved me.
All of it came tumbling out of my mouth. Shigaraki had ripped the ramparts to my dark past apart. I recalled everything in a detached tone, "Once I had better control over my quirk, I completely blocked out my dreams." The feeling of embarrassment washed over me now that I admitted to suppressing my quirk.
He hummed in response, mulling over my words. "In that case," He began again but in a softer voice – a whisper almost. "Dream only for me Rei. Come later tonight and show me my future." In that moment my purpose had crystalized. I felt anointed, renewed.
I bit back a whimper and quickly got to my feet.
"Tonight then." I repeated and promptly left.
Title End Card: Dream a Little Dream of Me by Doris Day