AN: Hello and welcome! I'm so excited to bring you another great chapter in the epic saga of PUDDIN!
I had SO much fun writing this one and I can't wait to hear what you think of it! Be sure to leave a review. I need them to live, after all.
As always, endless thanks go to my lovely beta, annbe11. If any of you are in the mood for a super sweet, super funny, and super kick-butt adventure, be sure to give a follow and favorite to her new DOTA story, High Priestess Marci.
Hope you enjoy the show!
Chapter 14 – Dramatic Finish! Puddin Brings It Home!
The situation looked rather bad for the defenders of Earth. The wasteland battleground had been reduced to a field of blood and broken stone. Rock pillars had collapsed and deep trenches had been gouged out of the ground. More than half of the defenders had been killed, the latest of whom had been that Namekian who had thrown in with the Earthlings.
All that was left were the child and the tiny bald one.
All in all, Vegeta figured that it had been a rather disappointing day. None of these fighters could even hold a space candle to Nappa, let alone him. The big oaf was looking back and forth between the last two survivors, looking like he was debating which of their heads to pop off first.
"Nappa!" Vegeta snapped at his underling. "Get your head on straight and stop playing with your food. This planet isn't going to destroy itself."
"Actually, I think they might be well on their way toward that, Vegeta," Nappa said. "I mean, look at this place. Pollution in the ocean, greenhouse gases out of control, and they're even burning their forests to cinders." He shrugged. "I mean, if we left and came back in a hundred years or so, this place would probably be dead anyway. Y'know, maybe we could-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP AND KILL THEM, YOU IDIOT!" Vegeta roared.
"Sure thing, Vegeta!" Nappa called. He turned back to the bruised and beaten child. "Sorry. This has been a lot of fun, but we gotta wrap this up. Vegeta hasn't eaten yet today and he gets into a super Saiyan-tantrum when he's hangry. Hope you had as much fun as I did."
"I… really… didn't…" grunted Gohan.
"Well, at least I had fun," Nappa said with a grin. He suddenly flared with ki energy and pulled back his arm, charging up for a huge energy attack. "Bye kid. See you around."
"…Crapbaskets," moaned Gohan.
"Raaahhhh!" roared Nappa, releasing the blast directly at Gohan. The boy shut his eyes in preparation.
Then something unbelievable happened. The blast somehow… broke. It shot off upward, left, and right, almost like water from a firehose being blasted at an unyielding boulder. Vegeta watched with wide eyes as Nappa gave a curious grunt and released the flow of ki. As the energy died down, he could finally see what had stopped the blast.
"What…?" Nappa gasped in shock.
That colorful goo girl stood right in front of him, her arms crossed and with a hard expression on her face. She stared him dead in the eye as she tapped a finger against her bicep, the soft sounds it made still seeming to echo across the wasteland.
Vegeta stared. That… that shouldn't be possible. He'd seen Nappa use blasts like that to turn continents into vacant lots. How could she still be standing?!
He hurriedly affixed the scouter to his ear and clicked the button to bring up her power level. After a second, he was confused that nothing was happening yet. Was this thing defective?
"Damn it!" he grunted. "I forgot I turned it off. All of you just stay right where you are!" As he clicked the power button, Nappa glanced back at him.
"Uh, Vegeta?" Nappa said, sounding nervous. "I'm not sure this girl has blinked since she got here. Also, I think I can see the heat death of the universe reflected in her eyes. Can… can you tag in?"
"Goddammit, Nappa, shut up!" Vegeta snapped as the startup logos appeared on the scouter eyepiece. "You're just seeing the reflection of your ugly mug. Calm down." After the third company logo flashed over the eyepiece, the scouter finally reached the main menu.
"…Vegetaaa?" Nappa said. "This… this girl is showing a lot of teeth."
"Just be quiet, Nappa!" said Vegeta as he focused the scouter on the goo girl. He pressed the button and the device scanned her power levels. The scouter beeped for a second before a new text box popped up. Vegeta stared at the text, completely dumbfounded. He blinked, but the number didn't change.
Then he threw his head back and laughed.
"AH-HA-HA-HAH! This… this pile of goo has a power level of ZERO!"
"Zero?!" Nappa cried, staring at Vegeta. "That can't be possible, can it?!"
Vegeta continued to laugh, both at the absurdity of the situation and at the stupid look on Nappa's face. Every being in the galaxy had a power level of at least 1, but this planet had somehow managed to beat the odds and become even more pathetic.
"Oh my god, Nappa," Vegeta said, shaking his head. "You almost had me going with that laser blast, but I think it's time to stop with the games. Go ahead and kill her now."
"Uh…" said Nappa, staring at the goo girl with an unnerved expression.
"You can try," said the goo girl, who still hadn't blinked, "but you will fail."
Vegeta saw a flash of orange enter the battlefield and he grinned as the man they had come for finally revealed himself.
"Well, well, well," said the Prince. "Looks like you've finally decided to show up, Kakarot. And here I thought we'd need to spend a few hours slaughtering people to get your attention."
The low-class weakling had the absolute gall to turn his back on Vegeta and give his attention to the child and the dwarf.
Vegeta was opening his mouth to yell at Kakarot when the whole wasteland was suddenly rocked by a deafening explosion. Whipping his head around, shattered boulders littered the ground and clouds of dust hung in the air in a straight line of destruction.
In the distance, Vegeta heard a sing-song voice say, "Nappa~? Oh, Nappa~? Puddin wants to play-ayyy~."
Vegeta wondered that the goo girl should sound so confident after Nappa had unleashed such an attack. However, he did not have much time to dwell on that odd fact before Kakarot leapt away from his pitiful friends and stood on a spire.
"You killed my friends," said Kakarot, "and I know I should beat you up for that, but you can make a choice." The man suddenly gained an expression of sickening self-righteousness. "If you apologize now and promise to leave, I'll let you go and we can stop this meaningless bloodshed."
"You? Let me go?" Vegeta said with a sneer. "I think Nappa could learn a thing or two about decent jokes from you. That was actually pretty funny." He rolled his eyes. "You, some low-level trash, beating a Saiyan Elite? That goes against the laws of the universe itself!"
"In that case," said Kakarot, going into a low fighting stance, "looks like I'll just have to kick you right off our planet."
Vegeta followed suit and got ready for battle. A dark aura rose from his limbs and his eyes gave a red shine. He always felt amazing before getting to kill someone, but today he felt extra-amazing. Super-amazing, even!
"Oh, you won't be holding onto that bravado for long, Kakarot!" Vegeta cackled. "I'm pretty sure you won't last five minutes!"
When they charged at each other, everything devolved into a storm of punches and kicks. They dodged around the wasteland, blasting through the air and shooting off blasts of destructive energy in an attempt to overcome one another. The pitched battle seemed to go on for hours, but in reality, it lasted less than four minutes.
Thus, the battle came to its inevitable conclusion, with Vegeta standing proudly and the low-level trash barely conscious. Kakarot was dangling limply, the fight completely leaving his limbs as Vegeta held him up by the collar of his shirt.
"AH-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!" cackled Vegeta, an impossibly wide smile on his face. "This is all you can give me?! You had me thinking you would at least be a minor workout!" Kakarot cracked open one eye and looked like he was trying to say something, but the only sound he made were pain-filled gasps. "Ah, you seem upset, Kakarot. Don't worry, though. I'll make sure you live long enough to watch this planet be destroyed before you can die!" Vegeta laughed once more, letting the sound of his rightful victory echo throughout the land.
"Seriously?!"
Vegeta stopped laughing and turned around with a glare. Who would dare interrupt the victory celebration of the Saiyan Prince?
The multi-colored goo girl stood on one of the only rock pillars that still survived. She had her arms crossed and she looked annoyed, tapping her foot in a disappointed rhythm.
"You really couldn't have lasted for another thirty seconds, Goku?" she demanded, her voice dripping with disgust. "Wow. I mean, I knew that you had some mess-ups across history, but wow!"
Vegeta blinked in confusion.
"What the-?" he muttered before becoming angry. "Hey! Where in the hell did Nappa go?! I told him to kill you!"
"Nappa is gone," she said with a shrug. Then her eyes took on a threatening glint. "And, seeing as Earth's greatest defender was about as useless as the 'g' in lasagna, looks like I'll have to take care of you too." A moment later, she blinked and sighed before lifting a hand to her scouter. "I know! I know! I'm not going to kill him. I'll be extra careful this time."
Vegeta cackled as he callously tossed Kakarot aside and opened his arms in a welcoming gesture. "You?! Kill me?! I've defeated Kakarot! Your planet's strongest champion! What could a pathetic weakling like you possibly do?! You won't even last-!"
Five minutes later…
His body hurt. His bones hurt. His organs hurt. But even more than that… his pride hurt.
Vegeta stretched his arm a few inches forward, his fingers scrambling against broken rocks and scattered dust. It was a weak handhold, but he managed to pull himself forward just a bit. The shattered remains of his armor scrapped across the ground, making his countless wounds flare up in pain and leaving a trail of blood behind him.
"No…" he whimpered, tears falling from his eyes to mix with the blood dripping from his head wounds. One of his eyes was swelling shut and his vision was getting blurry. "No… Help… Please… Nappa…"
"I already told you. Nappa is gone, Vegeta."
That voice. Just a simple sentence was enough to send a shudder of primal terror shooting up Vegeta's spine. The prince was not accustomed to experiencing fear. He had spent a great deal of time creating fear in other beings, but being afraid himself was an unusual situation.
Vegeta would likely be embarrassed if he didn't feel like he was about to soil himself. Then he heard the crunch of her boots against the rocks.
His breathing grew faster.
She was coming.
He could feel the icy black hand of death seize his heart in its merciless clutches.
She was coming to kill him.
Vegeta squeezed his eyes shut and wept, his teeth gritting so hard together they felt like they might crack. Something eclipsed the sun above him, blocking his agony from the gaze of the unfeeling universe. He whimpered pitifully as he prayed to any deity that may exist that his torment would at least be over quickly.
At the barest edge of his senses, he felt fingers wrap around his tail. For a moment, his usual arrogance bled into his mind. So she thought that she could weaken him by squeezing his tail? Like he was some ordinary low-class trash? Was she hoping to make him beg for his life while she-?
But then the hand pulled up, yanking his tail right off. The flare of pain was almost lost in the inferno of agony that his body was currently experiencing, but the tail's departure was the death blow to Vegeta's Saiyan pride. Truly, this she-devil had at last taken everything from him.
Vegeta cracked open one of his eyes to see the hot pink shoes right in front of him. He could still see his blood staining the fabric. Maybe she wanted to spend some time kicking him, as a way to make the dye job more permanent? Then a hand grabbed him by the single remaining shoulder strap of his armor and turned him over onto his back. Of course, he should have known. This monster would not be satisfied with anything less than watching the light leave his eyes. It made sense and it is definitely what Vegeta would do if he were in her position. There was no better way to savor a kill after completely destroying your enemy in every conceivable way.
He could barely make out her features through the murky tears in his eyes. She stared down at him with those demonic blue eyes and her cat-like mouth smirked down at him, giving him just the faintest look at a razor-sharp tooth. She crouched down to loom over him, leaning back on her heels and resting her elbows on her knees.
"I bet you're feeling really silly for coming here in the first place, aren't 'cha?" she asked. "Probably should have stuck at being a squad of three Saiyans against the galaxy. Now there's only you." She leaned her head against her fist and her smile widened mockingly. "The oh-so-powerful Prince must be oh-so-embarrassed."
"Why…" he choked out through his tears, "why won't you… just kill me?"
The monster rolled her eyes and reached inside his broken armor. Ah, so she wanted to disembowel him by hand. That was a nice touch, the mark of an expert. Vegeta himself was quite fond of it. Only this creature didn't begin pulling out his organs one by one. Instead, she pulled out the controller for his Space Pod. After a few button presses, she carelessly tossed the device away and went back to smiling at him.
"Turn that frown upside down, Princey. Because guess what? You're not dying today. Because, well let's be honest..." She leaned closer and gave him a smile filled with fangs. "You're not even worth it."
Vegeta stared up at her, absolutely stunned. He was so confused at this sudden change from what he had been expecting that he barely noticed his Space Pod drift down to land a few meters away. She laughed lightly to herself before grabbing Vegeta by one of his shattered legs and dragging him toward the pod.
"Here's your Uber, your highness," she said in a cheery voice as she bodily picked him up and dumped him into the seat. "He'll make sure you get home safely. Make sure you don't get too much blood on the seat, don't throw up on the floor, and most of all…" She leaned toward his face, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Remember this the next time you think about dropping by Earth again. Okay?"
Vegeta couldn't speak. He felt like he had an entire space apple stuck in his throat. All he could manage was a little nod.
"Alright. Have a safe trip." She pressed the button marked 'tactical withdrawal' and stepped back, giving Vegeta a cheeky wave as the door closed. Moments later, the pod flew away.
Vegeta sat there in silence and darkness, his mind still spinning with what had just happened. He had come to this planet expecting a quick battle against pathetic weaklings followed by achieving immortality and then an eternity of combat. But nothing had happened according to plan. He had expected death. He had tasted death. But now… now he flew through space, leaving this planet behind with his life.
Because she let me go. Because I wasn't even worth killing.
Vegeta's pride could not take this final blow. It seized up and left his body in a stream of angry tears.
Puddin returned to the Time Nest with her head held high, trying to seem like she was brimming with achievement and confidence. However, it was a mask. Inside, her emotions were roiling as her stomach twisted itself into knots. She felt like things had gone well enough, but what if they hadn't? What if she did something wrong in her mission? Had she gone overboard on Vegeta?
Puddin tried to swallow down her apprehensions as she took in the state of the Time Nest. Chronoa was standing at the large table in the center, watching as the projected display changed from the tunnels of the time gate to Puddin's view of the room. Toki-Toki, Chronoa's pet bird, sat on his perch preening his feathers. The shine from another time gate died down from beside her and Elder Kai stepped into the room, still wearing those ridiculous mustache glasses. His old, gnarled hands were clasped behind his back as he moved to the center table to stand beside Chronoa, leaving Puddin to stand uncomfortably at attention.
When Chronoa turned to face Puddin with a smile, she allowed herself to relax just a bit.
"Well done, Puddin," Chronoa said with a nod of approval. "Not only did you complete your mission to ensure time stayed on the correct course, but you also dealt with unusual interference from outside forces. As far as I'm concerned, I'd consider that a mission thoroughly accomplished!"
Puddin's heart skipped a beat at that statement. She felt like she could cry. She felt like she could just melt into a puddle right then and there out of sheer relief.
"Oh, my kami…" Puddin said with a great big exhale. "I… Supreme Kai Chronoa, I'm so glad you think I did a good job."
"Your technique could still use a little improvement," grumbled Elder Kai. "And I think you went a little too hard on the emotional damage right there at the end…"
"Oh, loosen up, old man," Chronoa said, putting her hands on her hips and rolling her eyes. "Puddin did great. That's all that matters."
"Damn right, she did!" yelled a voice that loudly echoed around the Time Nest. The three of them started before looking up the huge staircase leading to the entrance. Two figures stood at the top. On the left stood Trunks, dressed as always in his drab trenchcoat with the fuzzy collar. And next to him was-
"Daddy!" Puddin cried out, leaping into the air. Dumplin smiled and opened his arms for her to fly up and hug him.
"Sweetheart!" he said happily as he spun her around. "Oh, Daddy missed you so much!"
"I missed you too," she said, nuzzling into his shoulder. "You were gone for such a long time."
"Well, I'm back now and I think this calls for a celebration. Cookies for dinner and pizza for dessert!"
"Nyah~!" Puddin said excitedly. "Sounds awesome!" Puddin had a blinding smile on her face as she pulled away from him. He was smiling up at her just as much.
"Dumplin! A word, please?"
The reunited father and daughter broke apart and looked toward the center of the room. Trunks had already reached the pair of gods and Chronoa was looking up at Dumplin with her arms crossed. "I'd like to have an update on your mission," she said, sounding impatient.
"Sure thing," Dumplin said as he and Puddin both descended the stairs. In an instant, his expression had become troubled, almost apprehensive. As they reached the landing, Puddin found herself wondering what could make her father react like that. "Whadaya wanna know?"
"For starters," she said, "what happened with Turles?"
"Little bastard got away," Dumplin muttered, crossing his arms and pouting. "He ducked through a time gate and I wasn't close enough to catch him. No idea where or when he went."
"Hrrmm," said Elder Kai. "That is most concerning. Not only is someone from a Non-Canon Timeline interfering with historical events, but they seem to be able to freely move through time just as well as we can. Any idea what he was doing there? Anyone?"
"Other than hitting on me and doing verses?" grumbled Puddin. She was still angry over that. Even beating up Vegeta hadn't taken that edge off.
"It seems like he was draining energy from the time warp caused by the Saiyans' arrival," answered Trunks, stroking his chin in thought. "But to what end?"
"That is what I was considering," Elder Kai said with a nod. "With people like Turles showing up in the wrong time and place… Who could be behind this all, I wonder?"
Dumplin gave a mighty groan of annoyance. "Oh, I don't know," he said with feigned sincerity, "maybe the same people who were behind this scheme the last time?"
Puddin somehow managed to choke on thin air. She coughed and was gagging before Dumplin stretched a hand up to thump her on the back. "Wh-what?!" she said once she could breathe again. "You… you really think it's her?!"
Dumplin nodded with a grunt. "It's got her MO all over it, sweetie. I'm certain of that."
Puddin swallowed, feeling her heart travel down into her stomach.
"Whom do you speak of?" asked Elder Kai, scratching his chin in curiosity.
"Hmph," Dumplin scoffed and rolled his eyes. "So, this is what passes for non-chthonic divinity these days…" Elder Kai looked like he was about to reprimand Dumplin but the conversation continued before he had the chance.
"The ones who brought us closest to disaster in the past," Chronoa said, staring hard at the floor before lifting her eyes to the rest of them. "The demon scientist Towa and her abominable creation Mira."
Puddin saw Dumplin's hand curl into a fist. "My ex-wife," he growled. "That bitch."
"That makes sense," Trunks said with a nod. "She has advance knowledge of time magic and she's just evil and heartless enough to make another play at ruining the timeline." He shook his head. "She's even dumber than I thought if she thinks the same trick will work twice."
Suddenly, Dumplin swung out to slap Trunks on the back of the head. The young man almost pitched forward from the force of the blow.
"Don't you dare talk about my wife like that!" Dumplin roared.
As Trunks winced and rubbed his head, muttering all the while, Chronoa glared at Dumplin with her arms crossed.
"Dumplin," she said in an annoyed voice, "we talked about this. You need to pick a side and stick to it."
"Actually, if we're being pedantic, you were the one doing all the talking," Dumplin said. "I just stood there and pretended to listen."
The childlike god gave him an annoyed pout before returning to the topic at hand. "Anyway, it stands to reason that Towa and Mira are up to their old tricks again. We'll likely see a lot more of them in the future."
Puddin suddenly felt like she might be sick. With one hand cradling her stomach, she timidly raised the other. "Can… can I please be excused?" Puddin asked.
"Yeah, let's both get out of here," said Dumplin, giving her a comforting smile and gently placing a hand on the small of her back. "We can finish up later, Chronoa," he added when the child deity looked like she was about to protest. "The two best Time Patrollers in the universe need to get some food and beauty sleep."
As Puddin and her father turned to leave, Trunks asked, "How can she be one of the best if…" Trunks trailed off awkwardly after he caught the expressions of Chronoa's and Elder Kai's face, but it was too late.
Dumplin froze and slowly turned to face Trunks and the Kais, his eyes promising nothing short of brutal murder.
"What…was that?" Dumplin growled. An aura of dark mana started to drift off his body. Chronoa and Elder Kai both shuddered.
"You heard Chronoa on the coms before, didn't you? Puddin almost failed her first mission," Trunks said, looking at Dumplin in confusion. "She's on probation."
"I always put the comms on mute," Dumplin answered. "It distracts me from doing my job." The Demon God's aura began to grow darker as he bared his teeth. "Now what in the fuck are you talking about, Trunks? Who's trying to sink my little girl's career?! WHO DO I NEED TO KILL?!"
"Daddy…" Puddin said hesitantly. She was barely keeping her lunch down. Tremors shot down her spine and made her feet feel like lead. "It's… It's my fault. I… really, really messed up."
That seemed to take the wind right out of Dumplin's sails. He stared at her, shock etched on his face.
"Puddin?" he said. She didn't think she'd ever heard his voice sound that small.
"I…" Chronoa interjected, sounding a little awkward, "…think the two of you need to have a talk. Dumplin, make sure you come to my office tomorrow."
Dumplin gave no indication that he heard her as he and Puddin climbed the stairs and left the Time Nest.
It was a long, quiet walk back to their home.
The Far Future
A silent, mournful wind blew across the cracked and scorched earth, tiny clouds of dust being picked up before settling down again a few feet later.
Recent deep cleaning. All pests removed.
A few rays of light managed to squeeze through some gaps in the clouds to illuminate the shattered, crumbling buildings. Metal supports twisted out of shape from extreme heat and entire walls of brick and cement reduced to piles of debris.
Lighting could be better.
Truly, this was a desolate, pointless world. And yet…
A bit of a fixer-upper, but it's a bargain at that price.
Cooler closed his eyes and let out a long breath. Damn it, he was doing it again. Even though he barely ever spoke to his father, those endless lessons on sales pitches still echoed in his mind. By this point it had just become a habit to make one for every new planet he landed on.
He crossed his arms and glared down at the ground, his tail flicking with irritation as he sat on the building rooftop with his feet hanging over the edge. How much longer did she expect them to wait? For a self-proclaimed 'Demon Mistress of Time', she didn't seem to be particularly timely.
The apocalyptic calm was abruptly shattered by a sudden explosion. Cooler languidly glanced up to see that a building in the distance had suddenly spouted a burning crater and was in the process of toppling to the ground. The crash echoed across the ruined city before finally reaching his ears. Cooler scoffed and scowled at the figure that so closely resembled the Saiyan he hated.
"Looks like the monkey is getting bored," he said dismissively.
"I heard that, Ice Breath!" Turles shouted from the ground.
"I'm surprised you can even hear anything over the chattering of your fleas!"
"Fleas, you say? Surely, you are mistaken. We'll see what happens when my-"
"Oh my god, will you just shut up already?!" yelled Cooler. "I am so sick of your rhymes that I almost wish I was dead so I didn't have to hear them!"
Turles gritted his teeth as he glared up at Cooler. Off to the side, the big Namekian known as 'Lord' Slug just stood there holding up a wall. He'd been silent for hours, which is just the way Cooler preferred him. His singing was almost as grating as Turles' rhymes.
The ugly monkey looked like he was about to start another angry soliloquy when all three of them heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. Cooler's irritation dissipated somewhat as he turned to the new arrival. She was a blue woman with pointed ears and a skintight red and black catsuit. She was leaning on a large staff as she looked them over with impassive eyes.
"Towa," Cooler said as he pushed himself off the edge of the building and drifted gently to the ground. "How kind of you to join us. We were starting to think you weren't coming."
"I was quite busy making sure our plan doesn't fall to pieces," Towa said dismissively. "Seeing as I am the only one with anything more than a half-baked idea of the scientific method, my time is vital to our success."
Cooler's eyes narrowed at the obvious insult. Once upon a time, he would have destroyed an entire continent over such an insult. Maybe a planet if he was in a particularly bad mood. But now, all he could do was stew in silence. He saw that Turles and Slug made much more obvious expressions of disapproval. He would show no such thoughts. He was above them.
This woman had saved his life and she was giving him the chance to have his revenge on the Saiyan trash that had almost killed him. If she felt the need to insult him while she worked, he could put up with that.
For now, anyway.
A new figure landed next to Towa and Cooler looked him up and down warily. He knew that Mira acted under Towa's command, but he still felt cautious. The demon man had the look of a space hound that was just a few moments away from snapping its leash off. Cooler didn't like him, and he sure as hell didn't trust him.
"I told you never to act on your own," Mira said to Turles and Slug, his voice gruff and commanding.
"What we do is none of your damn business," grumbled Slug.
"Now now, Mira," Towa chided, smiling up at her creation. "They are doing their job quite well. The Timeline is in chaos and the Patrollers are running around like maniacs. We're right where we want to be for the next phase of the plan." She looked back to the three of them and stepped forward, putting a hand behind her back. "Speaking of which…" she said before pulling a burlap sack from behind her back and offering it to Turles. "Here's what you wanted. You and Slug know what you need to do."
"Right away, my dark lady," Turles purred, smirking in a manner that was clearly intended to be sultry. Cooler turned his head away from the disgusting display, his tail swishing in annoyance at the sheer lack of professionalism. With a wink to the demon woman, Turles turned and walked away with Slug following behind him. They traveled a few yards before they both disappeared into the time stream.
"What shall I do?" Cooler asked, his voice dripping with mock sincerity. "Shall I stand around looking pretty? Should I put on a pot of tea for all of us?"
"Do not worry yourself, Cooler," Towa said, giving him a sidelong look. "I know just the job for you to be responsible for. But first, we must have a meeting with our dear little friend." Her gaze turned to the distance and her smile widened. "Ah. Wonderful. We were just talking about you."
Cooler and Mira followed her gaze to see that a new figure had appeared. They stood in the shadow of a crumbling building, a featureless white mask covering their face.
"What news do you have?" Towa asked.
"The Time Patrol is becoming chaotic, like you predicted," they answered. "Chronoa and Elder Kai are struggling to find enough Patrollers to combat all of the Time Warps. They even pulled Puddin out of remedial training to fight the Saiyans."
For a split second, Towa had a look of disgust on her face before she smoothed it back into a neutral and haughty expression.
"And what of the bird?"
"Your estimates were correct. Toki Toki will be laying an egg soon."
"Good. Very good. I want you to inform me the moment it happens. That egg is vital for our plan to work."
The figure was silent for a bit before they said, "Just as long as you hold up your end of the bargain, Towa."
"I always pay my debts," Towa said with a smile. "Now go back to Conton City. Don't do anything that might draw undue attention to yourself. I'll contact you again soon."
The figure nodded and turned away before vanishing from sight.
"Come, Mira, Cooler," said Towa, rising into the air. Mira followed without a sound.
"Where are we going?" Cooler asked, also taking off.
"To war, my dear Cooler. To war."
Silence hung like a heavy shroud over the dining table. Puddin stared down at her mug of tea that could now be considered lukewarm at best. She took a sip of it in a feeble attempt to avoid speaking. She was punished for this by the taste of bitter and barely edible tea. She didn't know what else to say. She already felt like her guts had been filled with stones. Saying much else could very well kill her from shame.
"Well," said Dumplin from across the table, "is that everything?"
She dared to take a quick peek at her father. His own mug of tea was forgotten off to the side and he had his hands folded on top of the table. His expression was… she wasn't sure what it was. Expectant? Worried?
Puddin felt a squirming sensation in her throat and stared back down at her tea.
"Nope," she said, her voice pitifully small. "That's… that's it. I got my first mission and…" She sighed. "I fucked it up. I'm sorry, Daddy. I let you down."
"Ah, don't worry about it, sweetheart."
Puddin blinked and stared at Dumplin. Now he was just giving her a small, simple smile.
"I was thinking that it must have been some big mistake, but that's not something worth getting all weepy about. You're doing fine."
Puddin stared at her father, not quite comprehending what he had just said. "What? B-But I broke the rules. I almost caused an entire mission to fail."
Dumplin waved away her argument. "Sweetie, I break the rules on a daily basis. The reason they let it slide is that I'm the toughest guy here and they're all scared shitless of me." Now he grinned evilly at her. "You just need to do the same. Strike the fear of you into these fuckers and they'll quickly learn to back the fuck off. It may take some practice, but you'll get there." He gave her a thumbs up and a wink. "After all, you've got part of me in you. There's no way you could lose."
Puddin just couldn't stop staring at him. Her mind was spinning. He wasn't mad. He didn't even seem disappointed. What was she even supposed to do with this?
"Um… how?" she asked, cocking her head to the side in confusion. "What do I do?"
"First things first, you deal with this whole 'probation' thing," Dumplin said, rolling his eyes and giving the word air quotes. "You shouldn't have even taken it in the first place. We only take the punishments we deserve, sweetie, and I sure as hell know you don't deserve to be punished because the other guy was a fucking weakling."
Puddin looked back down at her tea, mulling over her dad's words.
"Well, I think I get what you're saying," she said finally. When she looked back up, she gave him a lopsided smile. "And I did totally nail that last mission, right?"
"Hell yeah, you did!" Dumplin yelled, slamming his palm on the table. "Make sure everyone in this stupid little time cult really knows what a first-class badass looks like!" He leaned forward and cupped a hand around his mouth before speaking in a stage whisper. "It looks like me and you!"
Puddin giggled and nodded in agreement. She actually did feel better. "Thanks, Daddy. I think I really needed to hear that."
Dumplin smiled and patted her hand. "Don't you worry, sweetie. You and I are both gonna be on the top of this pecking order before you know it."
As Puddin's face brightened, a wave of fatigue suddenly settled on her shoulders. It was probably her exhaustion catching up with her now that the adrenaline surge of this conversation had finally ended. She yawned and stood up.
"It's been a long day, Daddy. I think I'm gonna go to bed early."
"Alright sweetie," said Dumplin. He flew up to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Love you."
"Love you too. Good night." Puddin waved over her shoulder as she left the dining room and went to her bedroom. When she finally climbed under the covers, she closed her eyes and fell asleep with a smile on her face.
Tomorrow would be a brand new day. A fine day to continue her winning streak.
Puddin could hardly wait.