TITLE: If You Don't Mind
AUTHOR: LOTSlover
CHARACTERS: Batman / Wonder Woman
RATING: T
WARNINGS: Author Chooses Not to Use Warnings
DISCLAIMER: I love Justice League, but especially Batman and Wonder Woman. Unfortunately, I do not own the characters and, if I did, things would be much different for them.
SUMMARY: Set during Flash and Substance, Batman helps Flash in Central City, but if he doesn't make it home in time for dinner, he knows his goose is cooked.
If You Don't Mind
Batman couldn't believe that he'd agreed to go to Central City for Flash Appreciation Day especially on this day of all days. He must have lost his mind. He knew it had to be Diana's fault. Before her, he would have replied with a hard and fast no, but now he was saying yes to things that he never would have before her.
He was getting soft.
On the other hand, he'd discovered that Captain Boomerang had left Task Force X. On top of that, three other rogues of the Flash were suddenly off the radar, making it too big of a coincidence in his mind. He had a bad feeling that they were going to make an attempt on his life and knowing Wally, he wasn't going to take it as seriously as he should.
He needed to be there to make sure Wally stayed alive…which was why he and Orion were now in Central City.
His only saving grace was the fact that Diana was doing disaster duty at that moment, keeping her tied up for the time being. She would probably be running late herself if he were lucky and she'd definitely need to get cleaned after what he'd witnessed on the monitor screens on the Watchtower. He just wished he could be there to help her get washed up.
Bruce shoved the lustful thought aside with a muted growl, turning his focus back to Flash who was currently pulling a ring from the top drawer of a dresser in his apartment. He slipped the ring on his finger before aiming it across the room. A red uniform appeared out of the ring, Flash racing to it in a red blur and changing into the new uniform.
Bruce wished his uniform were that easy to change in and out of.
Flash appeared unfazed by the fact that four of his rogues were banding together to eliminate him, shrugging off their concerns and telling they that he would just round them all up tomorrow. Batman, however, had other ideas as they now stood in the middle of a small, rundown bar on Fourth Street facing off against The Trickster.
"It's a snot gun," The Trickster told Batman with a laugh, holding his arms out in front of him as the pool table collapsed in a heap behind him.
"Where are the others?" Batman demanded to know in his typical brusque, domineering manner.
"Those crabby hacks can go plug a hole for all I care, but I'm not about to rat them out," Trickster retorted with a huff.
"Orion," Batman simply stated as he turned to the third member of their little group.
Orion stalked straight towards the Trickster, looming over him before grabbing him by the front of his colorful uniform and lifting him off the ground. "Talk while you still have a jaw," Orion threatened.
"Hey!" Flash intervened. "Would you guys please take it down a notch? Let me handle this."
Flash gently put his hand on the Trickster's back, guiding him back to the bar. "James, you're off your meds, aren't you?" Flash asked as he took a seat next to him at the bar.
"I'm better off without them," he claimed as he grasped his mug of beer. "I'll take them if I start feeling down."
"You know that's not how the medicine works," Flash sternly reminded him as Batman and Orion intently watched them. "You're not well."
"I'm fine," he insisted. "Want to throw some darts?"
"No, listen, James, you're wearing your suit again," Flash pointed out.
"I am?" The Trickster replied, looking down at his clothes. "Well, what do you know?"
"Here's the deal buddy," Flash said with a smile as he stood to his feet, placing his forearm on James's shoulder. "Tell me where those guys went, and I promise I'll come see you in the hospital. We'll play darts…the soft kind."
"Okay, they're going to ambush you at the Flash Museum," he revealed with a grin.
"See? That's all we needed," Flash replied, patting him on the shoulder before making his way towards his teammates. "Come on. We better get over there."
"What about your enemy?" Orion asked him, eyes still focused on The Trickster.
"Oh…right," Flash responded, turning back towards The Trickster. "Dude! As soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in."
"Got me again, Flash," Trickster said, holding up his mug of beer to him.
Flash gave him a thumbs up before heading out the door of the bar with Batman and Orion behind him. Batman could hardly believe what had just happened. Flash had proven he could handle himself and his enemies with skill that he had been quite unexpected. He discovered that the scarlet speedster had matured in the years that he had known him.
He just hoped that they could wrap this up soon. He had no doubt that Diana was heading to the manor by now.
XXX
"All clear on my end," Batman informed Orion. "And I've removed every mirrored surface in the entire museum."
"To enter the building, they'd have to come through us," Orion replied. "They'd be stupid to try. Central City builds statues to this fool who makes bad jokes…who concerns himself with pitiful men like The Trickster. I don't understand."
"No, you don't," Batman said to himself.
He too had once thought of Wally as a fool, goofing off and making lame jokes that weren't even close to being funny. He had believed Wally was unfocused and childish at times. Then, he'd seen what the loss of Wally had done to the Justice Lords. He'd come to understand that Wally really was a true superhero in every sense of the word, the spirited heart of the League.
He'd also learned that his way wasn't the only way to accomplish a goal. The Flash had his own way of doing things that got the job done just as well. For that alone, he'd earned a new level of respect from the Dark Knight of Gotham, though he wasn't certain it was something that he'd ever divulge to anyone.
Hearing the blasts and screaming commotion, Batman and Orion raced into the Flash Museum to find Flash under attack by Captain Cold, Captain Boomerang, and Mirror Master. Captain Cold immediately began firing his cold guns on Orion while Batman barely avoided Mirror Master's guns.
Batman turned at that moment to see Flash dive into a mirror after a woman who had fallen through it. Captain Boomerang, however, didn't give him to react as he stalked towards him with boomerangs drawn. Batman swiftly pulled a Batarang from his belt, prepared for a fight.
"Where did he go?" Captain Cold asked as he searched for Flash.
"He's gone," Mirror Master informed him. "Lost forever in a mirror. Time to seek the nearest exit."
"That's it?" Captain Cold questioned him. "I was all set to crack some bones."
"Then brace yourself," Orion stated as he raced towards him with fist drawn back.
Captain Cold leapt out of the way at the last second, sliding on his back with cold guns drawn and pointed directly at Orion. He blasted him with his ice-cold rays, sending Orion flying backwards into a large globe on display.
"Let's make sure this one doesn't get up again," Captain Boomerang said, throwing his exploding boomerang at the ice-covered Orion.
Captain Cold hit him with his cold guns once more for good measure, both turning to find the foreboding Batman standing behind them with black cape drawn around him in that foreboding manner he was notorious for. Mirror Master silently emerged from a mirror forgotten on the floor behind the Dark Knight, wrapping a rope around Batman's neck.
Batman immediately rammed him backwards into a stone pillar before driving his elbow back into Mirror Master's gut and causing him to lose his grip around the Caped Crusader's neck. Batman swiftly threw him over his shoulder into Captain Boomerang as Captain Cold fired his gun at him.
Throwing a Batarang, Batman knocked the gun out of one of Captain Cold's hands as he raced out of the way. Using his other gun, Cold managed to freeze Batman's boots together, causing him to crash to the floor. Batman immediately drew a gun, pointing it at the three supervillains before him.
The flare whizzes past Mirror Master's head, ricocheting off a wall into a mirror. "Missed me," Mirror Master taunted him with a laugh.
Captain Boomerang approached Batman with boomerang in hand and a grin on his face. "This will make my rep forever," he said with weapon raised.
Flash appeared at that moment with Linda in a fireman's hold, racing past Captain Cold and Mirror Master. He delivered a right hook to Captain Boomerang, grabbing his weapon in the process. Flash threw the boomerang, imbedding it in the block of ice and causing it to shatter.
Freed, Orion pulled a pipe up out of the floor, unleashing gallons of water on Captain Cold as he fired his guns, incasing him in a thick block of ice. Mirror Master attempted to escape, diving into a mirror just as a Batarang shattered it, effectively trapping the villain in the broken mirror.
"Now, I understand," Orion said as Flash approached the pair of heroes. "You play the fool to hide a warrior's pain."
"Dude, the bad guys went down, and nobody got hurt," Flash replied, his arm slipping around Orion's shoulders. "You know what I call that? A really good day."
"I must take my leave now," Orion announced, hailing the Watchtower for transport. "You have proven yourself, Flash. Congratulations on your accolades."
Batman checked the time as Orion disappeared in a flash of light, internally groaning with how late it had become. He was going to be in so much trouble. "If you don't mind, I really need to return home now," he told Flash.
"Hot date, Bats?" Flash teased with a knowing smirk.
"Not exactly, but if I don't get home soon, you could be attending my funeral," Batman stated.
"That's what you get for dating a hot Amazon princess with a temper," Flash pointed out.
The white slits of his cowl narrowed dangerously. "If I were you, I'd ask the reporter out on a date," he told him, typing in the coordinates for the Batcave on his wrist computer. "She quite obviously has a crush on you."
"Really?" Flash said, looking over his shoulder at the beautiful reporter. Turning back to face the Dark Knight, he found himself all alone. "How does he do that?"
XXX
Appearing in the Batcave, Bruce ripped off his cowl and gauntlets, tossing them on a nearby table before sprinting through the cave. Pieces of his uniform hit the floor with a soft thud along the way, creating a black trail of uniform pieces that led to the showers. He was going to be dead if he didn't hurry.
He grimaced as the water hit him, cold and hard before finally warming up the longer he was under the showerhead. He quickly washed up, wishing Diana were here with him for a fleeting moment before shutting the water off and drying off. He needed to keep a tight hold on his desire for the time being.
He quickly dressed in a steel gray suit, black dress shirt and matching tie that Alfred had set out for him. Alfred was definitely a lifesaver. With any luck, Alfred was helping Diana now and buying him some much-needed time. Typically, he wouldn't be so worried, but tonight was especially important to both him and Diana.
He ran his fingers back through his wet, ebony locks, drawing a deep, calming breath as he sprinted up the steps and into the manor. He was immediately greeted with the sound of laughter. It was a welcomed sound as he hurried towards the living room.
Bruce came to a stop in the doorway, his heart warmed by the scene that greeted him. Dick and Barbara were sitting together on a loveseat with Tim sitting on the floor by their feet. Diana sat on the couch beside her mother who was regaling them with a story about Diana that his lover obviously found to be quite embarrassing at that moment.
Diana looked up at him at that moment, a rosy blush suffusing her cheeks. Her face instantly brightened at the sight of him. She immediately stood up, making her way towards him. "Bruce," she softly breathed his name, greeting him with a sultry kiss as she took his hands in hers. "I'm so glad you made it."
"I wouldn't miss it," he assured her, kissing her once more. "I'm sorry I'm so late."
"It's all right," she told him. "How's Wally?"
"He's good," he replied. "His museum was destroyed, but he doesn't seem too upset about it."
"I'm glad he's all right," she said. "I'll have to check on him tomorrow."
"He'll have quite a tale to tell," he told her. "Check with me, though, to find out how much he embellished it."
"I'm just glad you were there to help him," she responded as she led him to sit on the couch with her and her mother.
"Bruce," Hippolyta acknowledged him. "I'm happy you could join us."
"I'm sorry I'm late," Bruce apologized. "I was helping a friend."
"We insisted Alfred hold dinner until you got home," Diana revealed. "I hope you're hungry. Mother requested to try Alfred's pastitsio."
"And I know what you requested for dessert," Bruce replied with a knowing smile. "You have to save some galatoboureko for the rest of us."
"Diana loves her sweets," Hippolyta confirmed. "Dessert was always her favorite part of the meal…that was after she'd snitched all the olives off the table."
"Okay, we don't need to go into any more stories about me," Diana readily decided, holding up her hands in defense.
"I love hearing stories about you," Tim excitedly said. "It makes me look so innocent."
"Good luck with that, shorty," Dick teased, ruffling his hair.
"Hey!" Tim groused, shooting his brother a glare as he tried to tame his hair once more.
"Yah, you get yourself into just as much trouble as Diana," Barbara reminded him.
"It's all innocent…I swear!" Tim insisted.
"If I may interrupt, I have dinner ready," Alfred announced from the doorway.
Everyone stood to their feet, Dick, Barbara, and Tim moving faster than the others. "You have a lovely family, Bruce," Hippolyta told him.
"They can also be troublemakers," Bruce warned her, but the amusement dancing in his azure eyes belied his words.
Hippolyta chuckled as she walked with Bruce and Diana. "They were telling me quite a few stories about their countless adventures with you," she revealed.
Bruce groaned as his eyes fell closed, hoping they hadn't inadvertently ruined things for him with Diana's mother. "I'm sure those stories were highly exaggerated," he tried to tell her.
Diana took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers as she nudged his shoulder with hers. "Don't worry," she assured him. "They weren't incriminating."
"I'll be the judge of that," he murmured under his breath.
"May I speak alone with Bruce for a moment?" Hippolyta requested as they stopped outside of the dining room.
Diana instantly tensed, worried about leaving Bruce alone with her mother. Bruce gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "We'll be right in," he softly said.
Diana looked from her mother to Bruce and back again. "Behave yourself, mother," she told her with a pointed look.
"I assure you I mean no harm," she promised her daughter.
Diana left them with a disbelieving frown, entering the dining room to find Tim standing on his chair with a dinner roll in hand and his arm cocked back. "Tim!" Diana nearly cried.
Remembering himself, Tim immediately sank into his seat, his chin falling to his chest. "Sorry, Diana," he apologized.
Walking up behind him, Diana reached around to pry the dinner roll from his hand. "Who instigated it?" she softly asked in his ear.
"It was Dick!" he revealed, pointing across the table at his older brother. "He said Hippolyta was going to take me back to the island to train me to be an Amazon like all the other women there."
Diana bit at her bottom lip to keep the amusement that was bubbling up her throat from escaping. "I think he deserves some sort of retaliation, don't you?"
"Yes!" Tim excitedly crowed. "Make him go back to Themyscira with Hippolyta!"
Diana leaned down and kissed the top of Tim's head. "How about we tie him up, dip him in honey and stick him in Alfred's garden instead?"
Tim laughed at her suggestion, nearly bouncing in his seat. "Yes! Let's do it!"
"Let's do what?" Bruce asked as he and Queen Hippolyta entered the dining room, Bruce escorting the queen to her seat and pushing her chair in for her.
"We're going to tie Dick up and dip him in honey!" Tim enthusiastically revealed. "We'll set him up like a scarecrow in Alfred's garden."
"You have to catch me first, pipsqueak," Dick countered with a smirk.
"I'd be more than happy to help you, Tim," Barbara sweetly chimed in.
"What?" Dick exclaimed in shock. "You'd turn against the man you love?"
"To see you tied up and dipped in honey? Heck yah!" she responded with a laugh.
Alfred entered the dining room, placing the platter of pastitsio in the center of the table. "Alfred, you must join us," Diana said.
"But, Miss Diana…"
"I insist," Queen Hippolyta added. "This is a family dinner, Alfred, and you are part of this family."
"How could I refuse the Queen of the Amazons?" Alfred replied. "I will retrieve an extra plate and be right back."
Diana leaned over to Bruce, her hand coming to rest on his thigh. "Is everything all right?" she whispered in his ear.
"We're fine," he assured her as he glanced at the queen who was chatting with a very animated Tim who was talking a mile a minute about his role as Robin.
"If you don't mind me asking, what did my mother say to you?"
Bruce smiled softly at his lover, his hand coming to rest on top of hers on his thigh. "She praised me for taking the boys in and training my partners so well…for my heroic efforts as Batman in Gotham and the League," he revealed. "She said that if I managed to earn your admiration and respect, then I must truly be worthy of you and your love. She gave me her blessing on our relationship."
Diana was clearly stunned by his revelation, her eyes shining brightly. "I…I was afraid she would be against it," she confessed.
Bruce chuckled softly as he leaned in and kissed her sweetly. "Did you think she was going to challenge me to a sword fight or something? A battle to the death?"
"Maybe…actually…yes," Diana murmured, her eyebrows furrowed with worry.
"Well, her blessing did come with a warning," he added with a lop-sided smirk.
"I'm not surprised," she replied. "Maiming? Castration? Send you to the Pits of Tartarus?"
"Facing off against all your sisters in your colosseum, naked and without weapons," he revealed. "Whatever is left of me is going to be fed to the crows."
Diana internally cringed as her hand tightened on his thigh. "I'm sorry, Bruce," she apologized. "Mother can be a bit…intense…sometimes."
"It's all right," he assured her. "I'm glad your mother is so protective of you. It means she loves you. I wouldn't want it any other way."
Diana reached for her glass of wine as Alfred reentered with a plate, silverware, and glass in hand, sitting down at the other end of the dining table. "You say that now but wait until you meet my father."
Bruce's head snapped to his left, his eyes widening in shock. "What?"
"Let's eat!" Diana announced. "I'm starved."
"Diana…" Bruce prodded her again. "I think we really need to talk about this."
"Later," she told him with a wave of her hand. "Mother, you've going to love Alfred's pastitsio. It's to die for."
"Better than Konstantina's?" Hippolyta questioned her, skeptical.
"Diana, I really think we should talk about Hades," Bruce hissed low in her ear.
Diana grinned at him, pecking him on the lips. "If you can handle my mother, you can definitely handle my father," she teased him, knowing Bruce didn't have to worry. There was no chance of her lover and her father ever meeting up…unless Hades managed to escape the Underworld somehow.
Bruce scowled as Diana began to tell Hippolyta about the time that Bruce sang for her in order to free her from Circe's curse and saving her life in the process. He internally groaned at the embarrassing story that he'd managed to keep a secret from his family up until this very moment.
"You're kidding!" Barbara crowed with laughter, clapping her hands. "Sing for us, Bruce!"
"Yah, Bruce," Dick urged him. "Sing 'Am I Blue?'."
Bruce readily decided at that horrifying moment that he should've stayed in Central City with Wally tonight than coming home to this nightmare.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! I'm about to start Chp 3 of Take a Chance On Me so hang tight. I'll start posting once I get further ahead in writing it. :)