"You," Adriana said to Madame Twyla.
"Well if it isn't our little thief" Madame Twyla said while lighting a stick of incense.
"You!" Adriana said and grabbed her by the shoulders while she was still holding the torch and incense stick. "I can't...I don't hear anything! No thoughts at all! What did you do!"
"I haven't done a thing," Madame Twyla said. "It is you who abuses the potion."
"What?" Adriana said and released her. "You're saying this is my fault? You never warned me! You never told me this could happen-"
"Did you ask?" Madame Twyla said with a sour tone.
"You.." Adriana said and her voice broke.
"Calm down, silly girl," Madame Twyla said with a laugh.
"Calm down! Are you kidding! Do you know what-"
"You'll live," Madame Twyla said, not caring at all.
"You don't understand what I've lost-"
"Lost!" she laughed. "You are young. You are pretty. You can have a normal life for a while. Enjoy it."
"For a while? You mean it's not permanent?" Adriana demanded.
"I don't know," Madame Twyla said. "Maybe. Maybe not."
"I need a straight answer! What is this!" Adriana demanded.
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Madame Twyla said. "Now."
"No! Not until you give me answers and tell me how to fix this!"
"I'm calling the police in case you were wondering," Madame Twyla said as she she dialed on her phone. She had been through this process countless times to get people to leave.
Adriana felt nothing but rage and impulse...complete compulsion and no reason to hold back.
"Fine, bitch," Adriana said. "Call them."
Madame Twyla sighed and hit the button to dial and then held the phone up to her ear. Adriana almost felt like she could see the color blue invading her vision, casting a sapphire shade over everything in sight. She grabbed a glass bottle and flung it at the wall shattering it, and heard Madame Twyla gasp. But she didn't care. She went around the room, smashing everything in sight, the sounds of the breaking glass assuaging her frustration.
"She's destroying my shop!" Madame Twyla said before Adriana left, slamming the front door so hard that the glass shattered.
.
.
"Tell us what's wrong," Aymara said, trying to get Adriana to talk but she just sat stoically on the couch staring straight ahead.
"Maybe she's drugged," Sidi said and shrugged. "Strung out. Look at her eyes."
"I need help," Adriana said. "Madame Twyla fucked me up."
"Twyla!" Sidi said. "You've been going to her! What did she do? "
"I don't hear anything...no thoughts," Adriana said. "It's...so so fucking quiet."
"Seriously?" Aymara said and sat next to Adriana.
"Yeah..she gave me some potion and maybe I overdid it and fucked myself up," Adriana said.
"No..." Sidi said. "I doubt that."
"Why?" Adriana said and looked at her.
"She's a con," Sidi said. "But-"
"Her potion...it worked though, really well," Adriana said. "Well enough to make my gift go away.."
"She's not powerful enough to do that," Sidi explained. "Must be something else."
"What else?" Adriana pleaded. "Do you think it's permanent? What else could make this happen?"
"I'm sure it's not permanent," Sidi said. "Fully removing your gift required a carefully performed ritual which we started months ago. Not overdoing one of her garbage concoctions. Her potions are more likely to kill you that do something like this. It would require something...bigger."
"Bigger like what?" Adriana said. "Nothing big happened."
"It could have," Sidi said. "Or may have."
"So you're saying it will come back?" Adriana asked.
"Most likely. But there is only one way to be sure," Sidi said.
"How?" Adriana asked. "Tell me-"
"Give me your hands," Sidi said. "Stand and give them to me."
"What..." Adriana said, with a bit of fear. "You want to-"
"Yes," Sidi said. "I've never been able to see anything in your future because your gift is too strong and blocks me out. If it is gone or disabled for now...I should be able to see."
"I.." Adriana thought about it. Sidi would see Shade...for sure. There was no way she would stop. "I can't. I can't let you read my palms."
"You're hiding something," Sidi said. Adriana didn't reply. "That is all I see. Your gift is still within you. It is just...hindered. Has anything changed recently?"
"Not really," Adriana said. "What do you mean?"
"Anything," Sidi said.
"Well..that's vague..I mean everything's the same," Adriana said.
"No.." Sidi said and looked Adriana up and down. "Even I can tell something is different. I don't know what it is."
"I drank a ton of Twyla's toxic crap.." Adriana said.
"Nope," Sidi said. "I told you that was not it. Something else. Maybe you are sick."
"Sick?" Adriana said. "Like..cancer or something?"
Sidi walked away and Aymara wrapped Adriana in a tight hug.
"What am I going to do now..." Adriana said.
When she came to Sidi so desperately, months ago, begging to be rid of her gift, she never knew things would turn out like this. Adriana had been so hasty and ready to be rid of the torment of her gift that she had ruined the process..and was left with a distorted gift. She could only hear thoughts when trying very hard. She never anticipated that she would become Shade and crave a stronger gift again. Sidi told her straight away that she could not live the rest of her life with a distorted gift but over time Adriana began to feel that Sidi was wrong...her gift seemed totally fine even though it was much weaker than before. Maybe she had finally ruined things. What she felt was the worst part, was that the previous night she did not have her usual dreams of the sweet little boy that she had come to love.
"Stand," Sidi said, carrying a pendulum with a crystal that looked like it was glowing from within.
"What is it?" Aymara asked. She had never even seen the crystal before. "What is that mother?"
"Stand up," Sidi said.
"Ok..." Adriana said hesitantly. Maybe it was a cure. "What is it-"
Adriana asked but Sidi was holding the clear, white glowing stone in front of her forehead and slowly squatting, moving the crystal down the length of her body. When she brought it back up, Adriana noticed that the stone was moving. It was moving in a semi-circle, going from left to right and then circled fully a few times before stopping.
"What was that?" Aymara asked her mother as the glow went from white to deep orange. She had never seen this crystal before.
"Checking her," Sidi said and smiled. "Not to worry. Your gift will be back. You are not sick. This is temporary."
"What? How do you know?" Adriana asked.
"This crystal glows many colors," Sidi said.
"What's orange?" Adriana asked and looked at Aymara for answer's, knowing that Sidi would not answer. "Sidi."
"Your gift will return," Sidi said. "Do not worry."
"When?" Adriana asked.
"When things return to the way they were," Sidi said vaguely. "On the plus...you will be safe from your gift harming you."
"Great," Adriana said, with no joy. She was angry. "I have to go."
"Sure you won't let her see your hands?" Aymara said. "It could give you a clearer answer-"
"No...I just want to go home," Adriana said, hearing the bad attitude in her voice.
.
.
.
Adriana walked from the train to her street, in total quiet. No thoughts around her. The sun was already disappearing even though it wasn't 5 p.m. yet. The city of Gotham looked and felt different when it was this quiet. The city felt like a frigid echo reverberating through her body. Hollow. She felt weak. Could she still be Shade? What is there was no returning back to being gifted? She didn't even get the chance to slowly say goodbye to her gifts and ability..they just vanished over night.
As she neared her house she saw a patrol car in front. She walked a bit further and saw Damien sitting on her front step.
"What's up?" she asked. "Why are you here?"
"You don't know?" he inquired.
"No.." Adriana said. "No I don't know shit. I did something stupid...trusted a stupid woman and her untrustworthy concoctions and she..."
Damien raised his eyebrows, waiting for the rest of what she was saying.
"Bottom line is...I can't hear any thoughts at all," Adriana said.
"Damn...are you kidding?" he asked.
"Nope," she said and walked past him and looked in her pocket for her key.
"I thought that would make you happy...not having to hear anything," he said.
"Nope," she said again. "Not happy at all. So why are you here?"
"Oh..." he said as if things had become awkward. "You're going to have to come with me. There was a call about...an assault and property damage...against, the woman who I assume you're referring to. A...Twyla Rivers?"
"What?" Adriana said. "So you're here to arrest me?"
"Yes," he said.
"I didn't assault her," Adriana said. "I didn't touch her."
"And the property damage?"
"Well..yeah that happened. But I didn't touch her. She thinks I'm rich so I'm betting she's just saying that so she can sue me. I didn't assault her."
"I believe you," Damien said. "I asked to be the one to come and get you...so this won't be unpleasant. Gordon agreed."
"Are you going to cuff me?" she said.
"Afraid so.." he said. "Can you put your hands behind your back and turn around?"
She looked at him for a second, and could see that he did not enjoy having to do this. He wanted to get it over with. She rolled her eyes and turned around facing away from him.
"Is something else up?" he asked as he clicked the cuffs onto her. "This...really isn't like you-"
"Aren't you supposed to read me my rights?" she said, not wanting to talk to him.
He was quiet for the second it took for the second cuff to go on.
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will..."
She zoned out as he continued talking and put her into the back seat.
"Adriana," he said after pulling off. "I know I'm the last person you want to talk to right now. But I still care about you."
She glared at him through the rear view mirror.
"But...you've been acting out of character..With this incident, alleged assault and damage to property...sleeping with some random guy-"
"Please stop talking to me," she said. "I have to right to remain silent and so do you."
"What did she give you?" Damien said. "Maybe that's the reason you've been behaving so...well...making rash and unwise decisions. She could have been giving you drugs.."
She still didn't respond to him and looked out of the window.
"And maybe you're angry...Because of what he did to you-"he said.
"Please shut up about Bruce," she said. "This isn't about him. Maybe it's more about you. You hurt me worse than he ever did."
"I never hit you," he said.
"Yeah, what you did was worse," she said. "I rather be hit than violated."
He went quiet for a while until he hit a red light and she could hear him tapping on the steering wheel.
"You can never mention what he did again," Adriana said. "Never."
"I won't," Damien said. "If you never bring what I did up again."
"Fine. Agreed."
"Okay."
He pulled into the station and led her inside. She could see many of the officers who knew her looking with a surprise. All she felt was anger. She was too angry to even care how they were judging her, and she couldn't help feeling a bit happy that she didn't know what they were thinking. Because she did not care at all.
Damien removed her handcuffs and asked her to place her jacket into a basket sitting on the desk she was standing in front of. A female officer came behind her and patted her down, making sure that her clothing pockets were empty. Adriana suddenly got the feeling that this was all too surreal to actually be happening.
"What's your birthday, Adriana?" the female officer asked later. Adriana was sitting at another desk, staring off into space as they filled out paperwork.
"Huh?" Adriana said, snapping back into reality.
Commissioner Gordon came over and excused the female officer and filled out the rest of Adriana's paperwork without asking any questions. He knew the answers to everything on the sheet. He didn't say anything to Adriana at all, but she could tell that he was concerned.
Still quiet, he reached for her hand and pressed her fingers against an ink pad and then against the paper on the table.
"You're information is already with the prosecutor's office," Gordon said finally and stood up. "So, we should be hearing back about bail-"
"I didn't assault her," Adriana said. "I didn't even touch her."
"We know," Gordon said. "She has security cameras."
"Okay.." she replied.
"Would you like to call a lawyer? Or anyone else?"
"No..." Adriana said.
As the light flashed on her for the mugshot, she felt overwhelmed with emotion. What on earth had she done? Perhaps the effects of the blue potion was finally fading...the animalistic, thoughtless impulse...with no gift of seeing thoughts. It felt like she was coming back into reality.
Gordon led her to a cell, and as he shut it they could hear yelling, grunting, cheering..primal sounds of the other inmates once they saw her.
"Whoever makes the next sound goes in the box!" Gordon shouted to silence them. Then he turned to Adriana and spoke more quietly. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah.." she said. "Guess you better get out of here before they think you're giving me special treatment."
He nodded and stepped out of the cell, locking it behind him. There was another woman in the cell with her, laying down across the bench, on her side with her eyes closed. She opened them and looked at Adriana.
"Hi," she said and smiled, missing most of her front teeth.
Adriana looked away and shut her eyes. She wished she could take back everything that she had done.
"Why are you here," the woman, who's hair was dyed black and had a substantial amount of grey roots coming in, said.
"Stupidity," Adriana said and the woman lept up and came over to sit next to her.
"Me too.." she said. "I should have known..I mean...we weren't parked in the right place...stupid chance..we shoulda hidden better."
"Yeah..." Adriana said, not hearing what the woman was saying.
"But I bet you make a lot more than me," she laughed. "I mean...I can't even pay my bail so..."
"What?" Adriana asked.
"How much do you charge?"
"For what?" Adriana asked, and then she realized why the woman was there. "Oh...I'm not-"
"He said he would give me $50 bucks but now I get nothing, because we got caught," the woman went on. "How much you charge?"
"I'm not a prostitute," Adriana said.
"Ohh.." the woman said and touched Adriana's hair.
"Could you back up, please," Adriana said and felt a bit more sadness. If she had her gift...maybe she wouldn't be so irritated with this woman. She would have compassion..because she would know where this woman was coming from..she would see her thoughts..her memories..her story..but now she saw nothing.
She looked at the woman as she backed away on the bench and saw bruising on her arms.
"Someone hit you," Adriana said.
"Oh," the woman smiled nervously. "Yeah."
"Who?" Adriana asked. "What's his name?"
"Oh..uh...we call him...Don Q...Why?"
"Because I'm going to make him pay. Don't worry."
"No..no...don't worry about me...he is dangerous, miss.."
"Not to me," Adriana said confidently. "I'll take care of him and he won't hurt you again. Where does he live?"
"Oh...I shouldn't be saying..."
"Tell me, please. I want to stop him."
"He's...over on Rice street...88..."
"I promise he won't hurt you again."
"Yeah...thanks..," she said nervously.
"Your lawyer is here," Adriana heard Damien walk over to the cell and say.
"What lawyer? Did they give me a public defender?" Adriana asked him.
"No," he said and opened the cell to let her out.
"So who-"
"I called a lawyer for you. Hurry up, we don't have a lot of time, unless you want to stay here overnight."
.
.
"Bail is set at $25,000," the Judge told Adriana.
"This is good," her lawyer told her afterwards. "You can go home tonight."
"Yeah," Adriana said, thinking the bail was bit much for smashing some bottles and breaking a door.
"She'll pay by check," Damien told the lawyer.
"I don't have my checkbook-" she started.
"I got it," Damien said and pulled it out.
"Oh..thanks," she said.
"I'll be in touch with Ms. Rivers to see if settling out of court is an option," her lawyer said to her.
"Of course she will," Adriana said. "She wants money."
"Is there a certain amount that you would settle for?" the lawyer asked. "Whatever it is, I will offer her a quarter to see if she negotiates."
"I don't know.." Adriana said, not knowing how much the damage would cost.
"$250,000 and start the offer at 50," Damien told the lawyer who looked at Adriana for confirmation before nodding and leaving.
"Thanks for helping me with all this," Adriana told Damien.
"No problem," he said. "Here's your coat."
"Can't believe I got myself into all of this.." she said.
"Neither can I," he said. "You hungry?"
"Yeah," she said without thinking. "Oh...you want to go eat..together."
"Yes," he said. "I understand if you don't want to."
"I'm kind of tired now.. I should just go home."
"Okay, I'll take you."
"Actually..." she stopped him. "I'll get a cab..I have to take care of something first."
Don Q.
.
.
"If you ever hurt another woman again," Shade said to the man she had pinned down with an arm twisted behind his back. "I will come back and kill you or worse."
"PHhh..." he said, spitting out blood.
"Do you understand?" she asked and slammed his head into the floor again.
"Ya..bitch..I understand," he said.
"Not quite, if you're still calling me a bitch," she said. "You still don't respect women."
"Fuck y-"
She snapped his arm and listened to him scream and eventually cry.
"Understand?" she whispered.
"Yes," he managed through the pain.
After leaving his home she thought about it...maybe she could be Shade without her gift. Later than evening she stopped a team of six men who had broken into a pharmaceutical distribution warehouse. They intended to steal inventory for creating meth. Fighting in the dark, literally and figuratively was an entirely new experience. It was more draining.
Fighting while knowing the thoughts, skill, and next move of one's opponent allowed a certain sense of calm. Without her gift...each fight felt like a true life or death situation. She knew nothing about her opponents, never could anticipate their next move, and had no idea what was coming. Each encounter felt like a near death experience. It was absolutely exhausting. She felt that her nerves where shot at the end of it.
But truly, deep down, she wanted to shour for joy. She didn't know if she was good enough to be a vigilante without her gift, but now she was sure. It was a hundred times harder..she was slower to arrive on the scene and had to wait for notice through police dispatch and signals from Lucius' program that detected criminal activity. Even though it was so much harder..it was so worth it. She felt stronger than ever.
.
.
After a shower at 4 a.m. she fell onto her bed and craved sleep. But something else, she craved more. She pulled her phone off of the table and contemplated what she was about to do..Text him. She had not seen the Joker in almost week since the night she stopped the truck, preventing them all from getting arrested.
My place. Now.
Mimicking the Joker's texting format of place and time, she hit send. She'd never done this. No response. She took a deep breath and sat her phone down on top of the papers on the table beside her bed. The wind outside was loud enough the make the house creak. The sounds were a bit frightening but they didn't stop her from drifting off to sleep.
The sound of moving paper woke her and she looked straight ahead and saw him standing there beside the bed. Most of the paint seemed to be worn off his face aside from the black around his eyes and the white and red along the left side of his jaw.
"$25,000 bail receipt," he read the paper, sounding amused.
"That's," she said, sitting up on her knees and snatching the sheet from him. "Nothing.."
"Nothing is correct," he nodded. "If they let you go for anything less than $1 Million, it was child's play."
"Whatever you say," she said and sat the sheet of paper down before she rapidly threw her arms around him and began kissing him furiously. Her nails clung to his upper back, buried in the fabric of the thick purple jacket he wearing. She noticed that he wasn't reacting much so she bit his bottom lip and pulled it down hungrily before stopping.
"You..." she said, almost out of breath from how aggressively she had been kissing him. "Don't want to?"
He looked at her curiously, and more than ever she wished she knew was he was thinking. Her gift was gone. While in the midst of trying to read his facial expressions, he finally kissed her. The kiss was as soft as mist collecting onto the petal of a flower on a humid day.
He kissed again, his tongue going into her mouth smoothly, like sliding silk. As his kiss deepened, she heard herself moan, and the sound surprised her..she was sure she had never moaned from just a kiss. She pulled him down on top of her, expecting his kiss to grow more hungry..more aggressive..but it stayed steady. Soft and even.
"Wait," she said and stopped him. He paused and looked into her eyes, as if waiting for her to say something.
How could she tell him to kiss her more aggressively? To move quickly? Because she didn't want to feel too much? The tender kisses were pulling her heart into it. She didn't understand why he was kissing her this way. What was he thinking? She would never know. As she looked at him, she realized, all she wanted was more. She melted into his kiss again.
His fingertips went down the side of her arm and his lips followed. He took her left hand with his and kissed it softly on each knuckle, with no rush, seeming so savor and appreciate each curve and dip at the base of each finger. She could barely look at him, because she felt unfounded fear and nervousness. She was terrified. She didn't want to feel with her emotions. But it was happening.
She was not expecting this... and she couldn't understand it yet, she couldn't understand why her entire body was trembling as his lips touched her wrist.
The lovemaking was slow and passionate enough to make her feel like she was being worshiped. It felt so amazing that it was causing an ache in her heart. It was beautifully intense..and she was unsure of how she could ever want anyone but him. The Batman wanted to poison him.
This could never happen again. This had to be the last time she slept with him. She wanted to make it last. Because it would never happen again. Ever. She promised herself.
As the night went on, she realized there was no turning back. She could never give this up. There had to be another way. Another way to have him like this, even as he sent the city of Gotham crashing down around them. But she couldn't let him go, he was in too deep. She felt him tapping her soul. He was a part of her now.
Shade. She was Shade. The one who was supposed to be saving the city. And here she was with him. Did it make her a hypocrite? She felt the scars in his cheek under her fingertips as they kissed. No, she was no hypocrite. She was human, she told herself. She felt human for the first time. She felt like a woman for the first time.