September 17, 1977
Saturday mornings in Hogwarts seemed to rage on in the same way no matter what year it was. Everyone slept in, some more than others, books were barely, if at all opened, and the sunshine on the grounds beckoned students outside as if to say "Come enjoy it while you still can." Today was no different.
September of 1977 was apparently the warmest on record. Although the crisp smell of fall was clearly in the air, it made no move to overtake the final days of summer. And no one was poised to complain about it. I basked in the sunlight with Marlene, Dorcas, Mary Macdonald, and Lily Evans. If someone had described this moment to me a month ago I would have suggested a direct trip to Saint Mungo's because they had clearly fallen into insanity, but it was real. I sat next to Harry's mum as she read a book on transfiguration and my heart ached to share this moment with him.
Harry really did have his mother's eyes. They were not as I remembered them though because since we'd met Lily seemed to have a subtle dislike of me. Maybe it was because of my friendship with the Marauders who she'd warned me about moments after we were introduced.
"You're friends with Potter's lot, yes?" She asked as she took her gleaming head girl badge off the front of her robe and placed it on her bedside table.
"Yes, they kept me company sometimes when I was in the hospital wing."
"I don't mean to sound rude, but they're not exactly the best lot to hang around with," She said sounding quite rude in my opinion, "Except for Remus, they're all a bunch of trouble makers."
"I thought James was the head boy?" I asked. He'd worn the badge quite proudly on his chest every time I'd seen him. Sirius made it a point to mock it quite often too.
"He is," She shook her head and rolled her eyes at that. "I just wouldn't want you to get into trouble with you being so new here."
"Thank you, Lily," I said with a tight smile, "But I can handle myself."
I knew that Lily and James had not been the best of friends during school, but to think that she openly hated him came as a major surprise. Despite the fact that she might not have been my number one fan I decided that for the sake of Harry I would help them get together. Another thing to add to the list, I thought to myself. My to-do-in-the-past list grew longer. I welcomed the idea.
"Don't you think so, Ginny?" Marlene's voice interrupted my contemplation.
"Hmm?" I asked.
"Are you even listening?" She heaved a great sigh.
"I wasn't not listening," I said sheepishly as I sat up.
"She's going on about a woman's needs," Dorcas rolled her eyes at me. I laughed at the idea.
"A woman needs to find something to talk about that isn't boys," Mary rolled her brown eyes as she basked in the sun. Her dark skin was luminous in the light, and she'd rolled up her shirt to expose her stomach. A gaggle of fifth-year boys sat nearby appreciating the view. Mary, I decided, was the funniest of the Gryffindor girls. The president of the gobstones club, and one of the prettiest girls in school, Mary had a cult-like following of boys who watched her every move. All made worse by the fact that, according to Dorcas, she'd never dated anyone at Hogwarts.
"What did Sam do?" I asked Marlene.
"Well if you'd been listening you'd know that it's not what he did, it's what he didn't do." Marlene leaned back dramatically. "Sam is so sweet."
"But?"
"But nothing else," Marlene groaned dramatically as she buried her head into her hands. "I'm not crazy here am I?"
"I'm gonna need a bit more of an explanation before I answer," I angled my
head so I could peak at her through her fingers.
"He won't sleep with me," Marlene muttered.
"He what?" I giggled.
"Oh stuff it, Ginny, you heard me," Marlene snapped as she picked her head up to glare at me. "All he wants to is talk. We talk so much I think my jaw is getting sore."
"You know typically people complain about jaw pain from other things," Lily drawled from her spot under our tree. She barely even glanced up from her copy of Potions: Level 7 as she said it, but I could see a wicked smile brewing behind it.
"Will you all focus?" Marlene groaned at us.
"How can we help, Marley?" Dorcas looked up from her nails, which she had set to painting the muggle way nearly half an hour ago, from the looks of things it was not going well.
"I don't know," Marlene sighed, she leaned back on the grass with a great sigh and threw her arm over her eyes to shield them from the sun. "Help me get laid. I've tried every trick in the book. Nothing works."
"You know," I started, "Sometimes, in my experience, you have to make the first move if you want something done."
"What?" Marlene pushed herself up on her elbows to look at me.
"Boys are stupid." Marlene and Dorcas nodded in agreement.
"Hear, hear," Lily toasted an imaginary glass in my direction without looking up. Mary raised one of her own in solidarity.
"They don't pick up on anything," I thought back to my childhood crush on Harry Potter. "Just tell him what you want. Or better yet, show him."
"I think I will," Marlene replied. "I'm supposed to meet him in an hour, what should I do?"
"Try the astronomy tower, it's pretty romantic after dark," I smiled, thinking about the nights I'd snuck up there with Dean Thomas.
"How do you know about the astronomy tower?" Lily asked. I froze, without even thinking I'd revealed myself.
Shit.
"Umm-" I scrambled, trying to come up with any kind of lie to cover up, "Sirius told me about it."
"He told you about the astronomy tower?" Mary asked, looking impressed. "I knew he was into you."
"Careful," Dorcas warned, "the girls who join him up there tend to have their hearts broken." She eyed Marlene discreetly.
Marlene stood up quickly "I should get ready to meet Sam."
"Use your words!" I called after her.
"And protection," Dorcas added as Marlene hurried away. We both laughed as she left. "Did Sirius really tell you about the astronomy tower?" She broke me out of my thoughts quickly.
"He told me he was meeting a girl there," My heartbeat quickly, living in a house full of boys had taught me to be quick on my feet but it had done nothing to quell the guilt of lying to people I liked.
"Oh," Dorcas eyed me quizzically. She could tell something wasn't quite right. "Poor thing."
"I guess," I looked away quickly and began to study a group of Ravenclaw boys arguing about some philosophical conundrum in the distance. "I think I'm going to go for a walk." I stood up slowly and dusted the dirt and grass off of my jeans.
"Care for some company?" Mary asked.
"I was heading over to the quidditch pitch," I nodded at the pitch in the distance that had been beckoning me all day, hoping that Mary wouldn't want to come. I needed to be alone for a moment.
"Oh," She scrunched her face up in distaste. "I'll stay here then. Is that alright?"
"Perfect," I sighed in relief.
"If you need anything," Dorcas called after me as I stood up, "Ask someone else, this polish is trying to kill me."
I laughed and waved over my shoulder as I limped away from the group. They'd all been quite nice to me, even Lily although I could tell it was more out of her duty as head girl than out of the kindness of her heart. Something was clearly going on there and it had everything to do with my friendship with the Marauders. Two days of spending time with the girls had shown me that little would change in twenty years. The two most important things in life would always be boys and trying to finish Professor McGonagall's transfiguration essay on time. Despite that fact, I found myself faltering constantly.
My cover was good, it was easy. My family was dead. I escaped. I was here to finish out the year and then-
And then what? I thought to myself. Everyone here had a life to live. They had people who loved them, who wanted them to succeed. I had nothing here, nothing but my mission. Once Dumbledore found this book my mission would be complete and then…what?
This was my life now. These were my people now. Soon, I would have to actually take my own advice and let myself be happy. My heart ached at the idea.
My feet had carried me over to the quidditch pitch. It was empty for a Sunday morning. Typically someone would be having practice or a friendly game of two on two would be going on. Not today. As I neared I saw that there was only one person in the air, someone I knew.
"OI!" I called to the boy on the broom. He was far too high up for me to make out his expression, but he turned around on the broom and stared at me. "SIRIUS!" He shook his head and started to fly down to greet me.
"Wrong Black, love," He called as he flew down. As he neared I realized that the long curly black hair was the same but everything else was different. This boy was not Sirius at all. He was shorter than Sirius and his eyes were grey instead of blue. The eyes didn't shine as Sirius' did, but they swam with something very different than laughter. This boy was broader and his muscles were far more pronounced than his brothers. He leaped off his broom with the agility one could only gain by experience and walked over to me.
"Sorry," I cringed, "You look like Sirius from afar."
"You wound me," He smirked just like his brother and leaned against his broom. "Why don't I know you?"
"I'm new," I replied, watching him study me.
"And you've already fallen under the charms of my stupid brother?" The wind blew his hair in front of his face and I watched him push it back into place with a practiced flourish that screamed 'I know how good I look'. I rolled my eyes. "Such a pity."
"He's a friend," I said coolly.
"How nice," He smiled a perfectly straight and white smile. "I'm not my brother, but maybe I could meet your needs in his absence."
"I didn't really have any," I confessed. "I was a little desperate to fly."
"Fancy a turn?" He offered me his broom as if he was offering me his most prized possession, and if I knew anything it likely was. The offer sounded so enticing, the idea of feeling the wind blowing in my face, of racing around the pitch, made my heartache, but Madam Pomfrey's words rang loud and clear in my head Take it easy.
"I can't," I sighed with great reluctance.
"Is it because I'm a Slytherin?" He smirked. "Come on, you haven't been here long enough to be poisoned with that nonsense."
"No," I laughed a little, "I promised Madam Pomfrey that I'd take it easy for a bit longer."
His smirk turned into a frown as he furrowed his brow and paused to think. "Wait a minute, are you the mystery hospital wing girl?"
"My reputation proceeds me," I rolled my eyes, "Does everyone know?"
"Probably," he scoffed, "Our beater, Crumholtz, was in there Monday evening."
"Your beater?" I asked. "Didn't he get a bludger to the face?"
"I didn't say he was a good beater." I laughed, when Crumholtz had come in I'd been reading a book that Remus had given me, and he'd rushed in covered with blood and missing half a dozen teeth. "But he does have a big mouth, so everyone likely knows about the new girl in the hospital wing."
"Is there nothing better to talk about at this school?" I groaned as a buried my face in my hands.
"No," He drawled.
"Why didn't Sirius tell me had a brother?" I asked.
"Maybe it slipped his mind," his face turned dark. "Are you sure about the ride?" He changed the subject quickly, something was left unsaid. I racked my brain; all I remembered about Sirius's brother was that he followed in his family's footsteps. Yet, this boy in front of me seemed anything but blood-crazed.
"I really can't," I said finally, "but the minute I'm cleared I'm stealing your broom."
"Good luck with that." He winked at me again. "I better be going."
"Should I give Sirius your regards?"
"No need," He nodded at something in the distance. I turned around to see all four marauders marching toward us with a fury I hadn't witnessed before. Sirius led the pack but James was close behind. It was Remus at the caboose that looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here. As they neared I watched him mouth a silent I'm so sorry.
"You harassing women now?" Sirius spat at his brother. Now that they stood in front of each other their differences were even more pronounced. Sirius's hair was far longer, and he stood nearly three inches higher than his brother. His nose was rounder, while Sirius's was sharp. Sirius sported a five o clock shadow and ragged haircut that screamed 'I don't care' while the other was neatly trimmed and shaved stating clearly that he did.
"I don't think it's considered harassment when the woman approaches you," the shorter boy drawled as he studied his nail beds.
"She must have been mistaken then," Sirius said through gritted teeth
"We're friends, aren't we mystery girl?" Regulus smiled slyly at me, this smile far more menacing than the one from earlier. It reminded me of a dark figure who'd made my life a living hell.
"Nice try," James said as he pulled his wand out, "Move along."
"Oh, mind your own business, Potter," Regulus scoffed at the wand being drawn and pointed at his chest. "Mystery girl and I were having a chat."
"And now the chat is over," Sirius replied tersely.
"Jealous I might steal your shiny new toy?" he taunted with a dark look in his eyes. His hand twitched toward his right hip where I could guess that his wand was stored.
"Oh go run off to mummy, Reggie. She doesn't want to talk to you."
"I can speak for myself, thanks," I interrupted. Sirius and James, who'd had their backs to me, turned quickly to look.
"Ginny we're just trying to-" Sirius began but I cut him off.
"I don't think I asked for your help." I pushed my way through Sirius and James to speak to his brother. "My name's Ginny by the way never got yours."
"Regulus," He drawled. I could see the intense enjoyment he got from watching the marauder's reactions to being told off.
"Pleasure," I replied, "call me a toy again and you'll end up just like your beater, only Madam Pomfrey won't be able to fix it." I quirked an eyebrow at him to find a wicked grin on his face. It was like he appreciated the threat like it was a part of his game. I rolled my eyes as I turned around and started to leave all of the boys behind me but I couldn't without a reminder. "Don't forget, you owe me a ride."
"Wouldn't dream of it," He said with a smirk, his eyes flashed toward Sirius and I instantly regretted my final remark as rage boiled on the taller Black's face.
"Nice to meet you." I turned around and walked away. I could feel five sets of eyes on me as I left the conversation.
"Ginny, wait!" I heard Remus call after me. I tried to hurry away without being caught, but my legs still couldn't quite carry me the way that they used to and Remus was by my side in a minute. "Sorry about that, there's a lot of history there."
"So I noticed," I replied. I continued to try and shake Remus; I wasn't much in the mood to talk to him after witnessing the near attack on Regulus because of a simple mistake. However, the spinning in my head at the exertion of it all made me stop to steady myself.
"You alright, Ginny?" He asked.
"Mhmm," I said as I closed my eyes and willed the world to stop spinning. "Damn spell."
"Spell?" He asked.
"Never mind," I back-peddled. The world was still spinning and I needed to rest so I sank down in the grass and put my head between my knees.
"Ginny, should I go get Pomfrey?" He knelt down in front of me and took my wrist so he could feel my pulse. Just as he did it I felt the world come into focus and was able to pick my head up.
"I'm fine, Remus, just too much exertion is all," I sighed as I pulled my wrist away. He looked at me like a mother hen looking after her chick like my mother had. I smiled at the idea. "Care to explain what that was all about?"
"That's a question for Sirius, not me," He sat down next to me in the grass as we watched Sirius, James, and Peter storming in our direction.
"Well this should be fun," I said. The three boys were in front of me within seconds. Peter looked like the ultimate hype man who didn't see any of the action but was ready to perform all the commentary. James' face was red like it was about to explode, and Sirius stared at me with stone-cold eyes and a steely face. "Everything alright?"
"You met Regulus, then?" Sirius said through gritted teeth. His hands were alternating between tight white-knuckled fists and splayed fingers. He looked like he wanted to punch something but was restraining himself.
"You were there, Sirius," I replied.
"Why were you talking to him?" Peter asked from behind James and Sirius, accused is more like it. If the two boys in front hadn't looked so angry I might have laughed at the fact that Peter was forced to jump into the air to be seen from behind them.
"Not that it's any of your business," I snapped, "But I thought I was talking to Sirius at first."
I saw the tension in Sirius' shoulders release, and the redness in James' face dissipate. "Oh," James said first.
"Which makes the fact that you four show up and try to start something, very disappointing," I interjected before anyone could say anything.
"Ginny-" Remus started, but I held up my finger to stop him. I spent a moment glaring down at each boy, though I did have to skip Peter because the second I spoke he hid behind James and Sirius as if they were his human shields.
"You all have been so kind to me since I arrived," I began, "I appreciate your friendship very much, but do not think for a moment that I would hesitate to hex any of you if you try to push your opinions of other people onto me." I glared at Sirius in particular when I said that. "I can handle myself."
"We just-" Sirius started.
"I don't care," I interrupted. I stood up quickly hoping to end my berating by storming off, but my body had other ideas. All of the blood in my body rushed to my head and an overwhelming wave of dizziness hit me again. This time, it blurred my vision and brought me to my knees. James was the first one there to grab me. He lowered me to a seated position very slowly.
"Take it easy, Ginny." He said soothingly as my heart pounded in my ears. I felt another pair of hands pull my hair off of my neck to let the cool breeze hit it. It was a godsend. Remus knelt in front of me watching my face and checking my pulse again.
"Ginny, I'm going to get Madam Pomfrey," Remus said just as my vision started to return.
"NO!" I almost shouted. All three boys stopped in their tracks at my outburst. "I'm fine, just got too fired up."
"Well if this what you're like while sick then I hope to never get on your bad side when you're healthy," James joked. Peter laughed far harder than anyone should have.
"Then don't threaten innocents in my presence, Potter," I joked back.
"She's fine," James called, raising his hands to shoo Remus away from me. "Sense of humor's intact, she'll survive." I laughed with the marauders this time and it calmed the pounding in my head and helped with the dizziness.
"You sure you're alright, Red?" Sirius asked quietly, still keeping a calming hand on my back and holding my hair up off my neck. I took my hair from his hands and pushed it over my shoulder so the breeze could still catch me from time to time.
"I'm fine," I was still annoyed at him, but something about the way he was looking at me made me forgive him far sooner than I wanted to. His blue eyes studied me waiting for any sign that I was lying. When he found none, he nodded his head.
"I didn't mean to-" Sirius started, but cut himself off with a sigh and brought his hand through his hair. He looked over at the quidditch pitch where Regulus had already flown back into the sky. There was a firestorm of emotions in his eyes – they turned the normally calm blue into a churning ocean. Before I could study it further, the storm was gone, and He gazed back at me sheepishly and lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry."
I smiled at him, my anger melting away at his sincerity. "Thank you." We locked eyes for a brief moment and I felt very close to him despite the fact that he was a full foot away. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself, and then brought his hands to his thighs with a loud slap. His demeanor was back to normal in an instant as he stood up and flicked his hair out of his eyes with the usual, practiced, flourish.
"Well, I'm absolutely knackered, who's hungry?" Sirius asked.
"I'm starving," Peter replied. During my whole episode, he'd stayed rooted in his spot. He wasn't one to help anyone other than himself, but I'd never been particularly kind to him. Despite my attempts to make friends with people whose fates I knew, this was one bridge I had not dared to cross. Peter Pettigrew was far worse than a murderer, he was a traitor, and nothing he did would ever change that fact.
"I can always count on you, Pete." Sirius smiled at the boy next to him and looked toward the rest of us. "You coming?"
"I could eat," James replied.
"Might as well," Remus conceded and then they all turned to me. "Are you coming?"
"Oh, I told the girls I'd come back over after my walk," I looked over to see Lily still engrossed in her book.
"They can come," Sirius shrugged. "HEY LADIES!" He shouted over to Lily, Mary, and Dorcas with his hands cupped around his mouth. They looked up from their activities looking irate. "WE'RE GOING TO EAT, YOU COMING?" I watched Lily roll her eyes very dramatically and collected her bag and book. Mary said something that I couldn't quite make out, but it made Lily blush and Dorcas grin wickedly. Dorcas took out her wand and vanished the mess she'd made with the nail polish. They started to make their way over to our group, apparently too slow, "HURRY UP!" Sirius yelled again "GINNY HERE WILL WASTE AWAY IF SHE HAS TO WAIT MUCH LONGER!" Lily glared at me this time but smiled a little as I elbowed Sirius sharply in the side.
"Black, you're really something aren't you?" Mary said with disdain when they'd joined our group.
"Hey, if you lot had waited any longer I think Cole over here would have broken my rib. She's an impatient one, let me tell you." Sirius looked over to me like it was my fault that he had been yelling.
"Oh yes, you know me," I glared at Sirius, "Ever the impatient one."
"Your words, not mine." Sirius winked down at me as he started toward the castle with our little gang in tow.
It was hours later that I found myself curled up on the couch in the common room surrounded by Marauders. The fire crackled and warmed me from head to toe as it drowned out the sounds of the boys discussing the aftermath of their howler prank. My anger at their outburst earlier was long forgotten and replaced by content warmth that left me smiling and sleepy in my corner of the couch. It reminded me of the evenings I used to sit with Fred, George, and Lee Jordan as they planned and schemed together on how to best torment Umbridge and Filch.
"But did you see Dawlish's face?" Peter cackled the loudest of them all. "I thought he was going to cry for sure!" The boys laughed loudly at the memory, comparing other faces to Dawlish. Names I recognized flitted across my tired ears: there was of course Snivellus, the one I couldn't place, Dawlish, MacNair, Crouch, and Avery. My eyes were heavy as they looked on at the celebrating pack before me.
It reminded me of simpler times, of days when pranks were for nothing more than unbridled joy or petty childish revenge and not for overthrowing tyrants. The thought made my eyes flick away from the boys and back toward the fire. When could I remember a time before overthrowing tyrants? You can't. The voice in my head rang out loudly.
"Don't mind them," Remus' quiet voice cut through the brewing storm in my head and I turned to find him sitting in the armchair to my left. "James has had it out for Mulciber, and the lot of them for ages."
"It's kind of nice," I smiled shakily. It was nice. It was a welcome reprieve from thoughts of dark lords and war, of tyrants and revolution. Remus snorted in response.
"Revenge is nice?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked.
"I always root for the underdog." I returned his smirk with a shrug.
"Are you calling the Marauders the underdog?" He asked, incredulous.
"Slytherin's are so scary," I yawned. Peter and James were reenacting one of the seventh-year boys' reactions to his howler with fervor and passion.
"You've met one Slytherin," Remus pulled my attention back to his and eyed me skeptically.
"Reputations and whatnot," I brushed off his comment and turned back to the fire. It may have only been 8:30 but the warmth blanketed me and beckoned me to relax into its embrace. The warmth transported me away from the cacophonous laughter of the Marauders and into its quiet heat. My eyelids drifted shut and I drifted further from the boys and the noise of the common room into a fiery and peaceful sleep.
"Ginevra Weasley," Flitwick's voice rang out over the Great Hall. Despite his impossibly small stature and welcoming smile, my legs shook with fear under me as I climbed the steps up to the stool. The crowd of first years I'd entered with was all gone, sorted into their new houses, and waiting anxiously for the feast to surface on the tables. I swept my eyes across the room finding a sea of unfamiliar faces before me. On the furthest wall, green-clad, pointed-nosed, sneers greeted me, reminding me that even if the hat deemed it the right choice I'd never be welcome amongst them. Next, the ocean of blue looking curiously at where I might go next, maybe wondering if just one Weasley might escape the Gryffindor destiny. My eyes skated quickly past the yellow ties adorning friendly faces, knowing I didn't want to go there. And finally, I found the faces I'd been searching for since entering the hall. Gryffindor faces. Weasley faces. Fred offered me a warm and encouraging smile as George mouthed something I couldn't decipher. My eyes flitted to Percy as the hat slipped over my eyes and hid them all from view.
"Ah yes, the final Weasley." The voice of the hat rang through my head. "I've been waiting for you. It seems an obvious choice where you should go. Impossibly brave, brash, and headstrong, all things you will need in your time I'm afraid. So young to have to give up so much."
"What?" I asked it.
"It will all reveal itself in time." I could feel the hat chuckle to itself though it made no movement and no sound like it was a joke I didn't understand yet.
"Gryffindor." I thought loudly, hoping to get this over with quickly.
"Time is a fickle thing, don't you agree Ginevra?" It whispered silkily through my mind. "One moment you are here and the next you are there. Time reveals all things."
"Gryffindor," I tried again.
"Time will put you through the wringer, through great loss and great triumph. You will need to be brave to endure it. Are you brave, my child?"
"Yes." The hat felt warm and underneath the silky whispers in my head, I could hear the murmurs of the students in the hall growing restless at the delay in sorting.
"Brave enough to stand alone?" It asked me. I froze under his question.
"Please, just Gryffindor," I begged. I could feel the emotion bubbling up underneath the surface, the great fear that I might be the lone Weasley set aside from the pack. It gripped me as I felt my leg begin to shake in anticipation.
"In time, Ginevra. There is another voice here, can you hear it?" The hat asked me.
"No." I couldn't hear another voice. It was just us, the hat and me. "Please just-"
"Gryffindor, I know." If hats could sigh this one did. "This other voice tempts you, invites you, be wary of this voice Ginevra."
There was no other voice to be heard. Only me. Only the hat and me. It bristled as it rifled through my head, searching for something but finding nothing more than the 11-year-old girl desperate to join her brothers.
"There is no other place for you than Gryffindor. You are brave, and brash, and will do anything for your people. Am I wrong?"
"No."
"In time, Ginevra, you will understand why you must be brave – why you must endure it all. I wish it were someone else, for your sake, but alas. It better be:"
"Gryffindor!"
My eyes shot open with a gasp and the common room swam into view. How long was I asleep? I thought to myself as I looked around me. I was curled up on the corner cushion of the couch, a blanket pulled up to my neck that I didn't place there before falling asleep. Remus was no longer occupying his armchair, and I couldn't hear the riotous laughter of the other three boys anymore. I turned my head to search for them and was greeted by Sirius who sat languidly on the other end of the couch. His feet were propped up on the coffee table in front of us, and a book was lazily opened on his lap, but he wasn't reading it. Instead, his blue eyes studied me carefully. When our eyes met he looked away quickly, busying himself with the book again, his cheeks tinged pink at being caught.
"How long have I been asleep?" I asked quietly as I stretched my arms and legs. My toes brushed his hip, and I felt a slight ripple in my belly at the contact. I pulled away quickly.
"Not long, maybe an hour or so," He shrugged.
"And how long were you watching me?" I delighted in the redness that crept up his neck and the way the muscle in his jaw tightened in embarrassment.
"Not long."
"Maybe an hour or so?" I smirked. His eyes flashed toward mine and the redness receded. Blue eyes met brown, and the smirk fell from my face.
"You're far more interesting than Potions, Red." It was my turn to blush now but I didn't turn my gaze away from him. If Sirius Black wanted to flirt with me, he would have to do it with me staring back at him.
"And what did you find so interesting?"
"You don't look so intimidating when you're asleep." The fire illuminated him in an amber glow that dance across his suntanned skin. The stubble across his cheek looked almost inviting as the light of the flame-licked it.
"You find me intimidating?" I raised an eyebrow. It was his turn to smirk now.
"I think if I'm not careful, you'll hex my bullocks off." I snorted at the idea and the tension I felt a second ago melted. This wasn't flirting. This was just two new friends getting to know each other – in a mostly empty common room – late in the evening - in front of a romantic fire - where piercing blue eyes met warm honey brown and whispered that the brown made the blue nervous…just two friends.
I've never been this attracted to my friends. I thought to myself and bristled at the confession. Sirius was not for me. He was Harry's. He was James' and Remus'. He was not mine. He couldn't be. This time was not mine.
"You'd be right." I tucked the blanket back over my shoulder and turned away from him. "Where are the boys?"
"James is on rounds, Pete has a Hufflepuff, and Remus agreed to leave us alone for the rest of the night." My eyes widened at the confession and my heart started to beat loudly in my chest.
"Sirius I-"
"Gotcha," He winked and let out a low chuckle. "He's over there with Mary and Lily." I followed his gaze to where Remus, Lily, and Mary sat with their heads bowed low pouring over a pile of textbooks and notes. I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned back to face his questioning gaze. "What were you dreaming about?"
"Nothing," I shrugged.
"Oh come on, it had to have been something juicy. You kept twitching."
"You know watching people sleep is a felony in some places."
"Are you going to arrest me, Red?" His eyes sparkled in the firelight and his lips pulled back to reveal a wolfish grin.
"Depends," I countered with a raised eyebrow. "Are you going to leave me alone?"
"Not likely." His eyes continued to bore into me, heating me under his gaze and sending off a flurry of butterflies through my stomach. I brought my right arm out from under the blanket and turned my finger toward him like I was holding him at wand point.
"Hands up, you're under arrest," I threatened with a smile. He laughed loudly and closed the book that had been sitting in his lap, taking his legs off the table and leaning forward. He was closer now, still a cushion of space between us, but close enough that I could smell something sweet and smoky wafting off of his collar.
"You'd rather arrest me than tell me what you were dreaming about?"
"It's personal."
"If you don't tell me I'm going to have to assume it was a naughty dream about me." My eyes widened and I felt my cheeks turn red again. His eyes lit up in victory at the sight of my blush.
"You're a pervert."
"What was I wearing?" He raised his eyebrow to challenge me and I couldn't fight the laugh I was stifling anymore.
"I was dreaming about-" I stuttered over the lie, unsure how to phrase it without giving myself away. "A conversation with an – omnipotent being." I finally landed on the lie and was rather pleased with it. Sirius leaned back against the couch cushions with a raised eyebrow.
"And what, pray tell, were you talking about?" He asked.
"Time."
"It does heal all wounds, I've heard."
I rolled my eyes and relaxed back into the couch. "It was more about bravery and time revealing things. A bit of nonsense really."
Sirius nodded slowly as he studied me. His blue eyes searched my face for something. The jokes had died and were replaced by his stoic gaze. "Do you really think it was nonsense?"
No, I thought to myself. It didn't feel like nonsense. It felt like the Sorting Hat had warned me about everything 6 years ago and that warning was only just now starting to make sense. The hat had known about the voice of Tom Riddle who'd just started to take root in my head. It knew about all of the fighting, and pain I'd have to go through while at school. The hat somehow knew I'd end up here. Time put me through the wringer, and now I was standing alone. An omnipotent being is right. It made my head spin to think about it all.
"I don't know," I shrugged finally. "It was probably nonsense."
Sirius leaned forward again, bringing his forearms to rest on his knees and his head closer to the fire. The flames danced across his hair, turning the obsidian black to shades of deep red and orange. "If you say so, Red."
"Don't you have better things to do with your Saturday night than decipher my dreams?"
"Nope." He popped the 'p' as he said and a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. He was closer now, the cushion that was between us before was under him and his thigh brushed against my toes sending goosebumps up my leg.
"That's sad." I looked away from him, hoping that by doing so it would calm the flutter his words had sent through my stomach.
"I think of it like studying for divination." I could feel his eyes on me still, piercing and inviting, but I didn't give in.
"You take divination?" I snorted.
"You don't believe?" I could hear the challenge in his voice and felt myself rising to it despite my reservations.
"It's bullocks."
"You're wrong." I turned back to find his blue eyes waiting, like the sea by shell cottage they churned with something fierce. He held his palm out flat to me and raised an eyebrow. "Let me prove it to you."
I don't know what made me give in. Curiosity, maybe? Or maybe it was because I couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to hold his hand. Would it dwarf mine? Was it soft? I pulled my right hand out from under the covers, sitting up to face him as I placed it in his waiting palm.
The touch sent a fire through my arm, a white-hot heat coursing up the limb and into my shoulder. It sent a wave of butterflies through my stomach as his thumb brushed across the lines that waited there. He studied it for a few moments, tracing lines with his fingertips and sending waves of heat through me. I fought the blush that threatened to creep up my neck as I waited for him to say something.
"Interesting," He murmured. I leaned forward to get a look myself and his eyes shot up to meet mine. His pupils were blown out and threatened to overtake the blue iris.
"What's interesting?" I felt goosebumps start to form on my arm as his thumb pressed lightly around my wrist. I hoped he couldn't hear the thrumming of my erratic pulse underneath it.
"The lifeline splits in two, one a long and winding path. Three dips indicate 3 children. There are twists, which means it won't be easy, but it will last and you'll live a very long life. The love line is long too, and unbroken. You'll be very happy with them." I couldn't help but blush at his analysis. 3 kids…a long life…in love…it wasn't to be. It couldn't be. I was here. I couldn't ruin the future – my future – by falling in love with someone. Adding 3 children into the equation was just as stupid and reckless. I was right. Divination was stupid.
But that thought didn't calm my curiosity.
"And the other one?" I asked nervously.
"It's short and jagged. A whirlwind of activity that just cuts off and disappears after a while." He traced the short line as he spoke sending shivers down my spine. A short life, a whirlwind of activity – my other life. I pulled my hand away from him and rolled my eyes like his words hadn't impacted me at all.
"Sounds crazy."
"The palms never lie."
"No, but the reader might."
Sirius clutched his hands to his chest as he leaned backward. "You wound me, Red."
"You just wanted to hold my hand," I scoffed.
"Well you've got me there," He said without a trace of embarrassment. I felt warmth spread in my cheeks, and another wave of butterflies move through my belly. He shrugged as I made eye contact with him again and I couldn't help the want that pooled inside of me.
I shook it off and turned away. Not for you, Ginny. Not for you. I chanted the words to myself as I pushed the feeling of warmth down; I fought against the magnetic pull to lean into him and turned back toward the fire.
"I feel like I should tell you that I'm not interested in dating anyone," I told him as I stared into the flames. I heard him breathe out slowly from his nose and felt his eyes on me.
"I understand," he replied coolly.
"It's just not really something I want to do right now."
"Makes sense." I turned to find him staring back at me. A cool expression of curiosity in his face, as if he didn't quite believe me.
"I just don't want you to think-"
"It's alright, Red," he smiled. He leaned back against the couch and put his feet up on the table in front of us. He looked so carefree, so happy, so blissfully different than the man I knew. They were so different that I found me wondering how the hell they could be the same person. Time would destroy him. "I'm a patient man."
"You shouldn't wait for me," I replied quickly.
"Why not? I've got all the time in the world."
"Sirius-"
"That's what it meant," he shrugged as he brought his hands behind his head. As they cradled his skull, he reclined and closed his eyes. From this angle I could see the muscles rippling in his arms, teasing me from underneath his grey t-shirt.
"What?" I asked.
"Your dream," He intoned like I was the crazy one, not him bringing up a conversation we'd moved long past. "Your conversation with the omnipotent being."
"Right." I still didn't understand and he chuckled lowly and peeked out from underneath his long eyelashes to look down at me.
"Time will reveal things to you. Like the fact that you can't stay away from me." I let out a breath of frustration and pushed him away from me. He let out a loud barking laugh and closed his eyes again.
"I'm going to bed," I groaned, as I stood up slowly, careful not to move too fast and end up a dizzy mess.
"Was that-"
"Goodnight, Black," I replied sharply but couldn't muster the edge in my voice. He smirked up at me.
"Goodnight, Cole."
I shook my head as I climbed the stairs slowly, escaping his penetrating gaze. This wasn't for me. He wasn't for me. He was for someone else. Marlene maybe, or maybe someone I didn't know. It didn't matter, because he wasn't mine – wasn't meant to be mine. Time was a fickle thing, and I'd already played with it once. I didn't need to play with it again to know that falling for Sirius was a mistake. No matter what his perfect blue eyes said. No matter what the magnetic pull toward him made me feel. Sirius wasn't for me. I wasn't for Sirius. I was here with one goal in mind: find the book; find the key to killing Voldemort. Sirius was just a distraction. A very handsome, very charismatic, distraction. Nothing more.
Or so I convinced myself as I climbed up the stairs.