September 19, 1977
The first day of classes came far sooner than I could have anticipated. I stood in the bathroom smoothing out my hair tucked back in a loose French braid on my head as I avoided joining my roommates for breakfast. I'd never been a fan of firsts: first dates, first games of the season, and especially the first day of classes. I had an incurable knot in my stomach that had set in sometime around dinner last night and had not let up since. I'd tossed and turned in my bed until nearly two in the morning. Nothing I did would stop my mind from running the same series of unanswerable questions over and over again. What were the classes like? Would I be able to handle them considering the joke of an education I'd had over the course of the last few years? Would I be able to catch up? Would I be able to sit in the classrooms without the memories of everything that had happened to me last year racing to the forefront of my mind?
Everything about Hogwarts was different here, of that I was sure. There would be no Carrow siblings forcing me to perform the Cruciatus curse in first years. I wouldn't be forced to sit through a Muggle Studies class that only discussed the evils of non-magical folk. Most of all, I wouldn't be forced to sit in a classroom knowing that my family was in danger hundreds of miles away.
That last thought helped to take an edge off my anxiety, however, nothing could answer my questions except leaving the bathroom and going to class. I summoned up a little bit of Gryffindor courage, tucked one pesky stray hair behind my ear, and opened the door.
"Took you long enough!" Mary laughed as she finished tying her shoelace.
"Happy first day of hell!" Dorcas called from her bed, where she sat perfecting her lip-gloss.
"Oh don't listen to her Ginny," Lily tutted as she grabbed her books, "You're going to have the best year of your life."
"I wouldn't go that far," Marlene replied. "Come on, I'll walk you down to breakfast. We have transfiguration together first thing."
"Thanks," I said as I nervously smiled up at her. "I'm a little nervous."
"I've got your back, Gin, don't worry," Marlene smirked as she hooked her arm through mine and marched me down to breakfast.
For everyone else, this was just a typical Monday. As we entered the great hall I saw students yawning into their eggs and a few trying to put the finishing touches on their Charms essay next to a glass of orange juice. As we entered the Marauders sat in their usual spot at the center of the table. Remus looked wide-awake as he read his copy of the daily prophet and munched on buttered toast. Peter, whose head leaned on his hand, snored above a bowl of oatmeal while James and Sirius whispered conspiratorially while glancing over at the Slytherin table. Marlene made a beeline over to them.
"Good morning, Gentlemen," She smiled at them all in a way that only Marlene could, "Are these seats taken?"
"They are now," Sirius and James scooted apart to let us sit in between them. Marlene quickly took the spot closer to James and nudged me closer to Sirius as she sat. "How's the head, love?"
"It's been worse," I shrugged as I reached for a slice of toast.
"You look pale," Remus said with a glance up from his paper.
"I'm fine," I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm not a fan of first days is all."
"Ginny Cole is afraid of something?" James leaned back in astonishment at the thought. "I didn't think you were such a nervous Nellie."
"I'm not," I rolled my eyes at him but smiled as I buttered my toast. " I just hate the anticipation is all."
"She spent nearly an hour staring in the mirror this morning," Marlene added, "She's pretty afraid."
"I get nervous too, Ginny," Remus smiled a warm smile at me over his prophet. "Don't let them make you feel bad."
"I won't," I said feeling a bit better, but as I bit into my toast it turned to cardboard in my mouth and I couldn't eat anymore. I may not have felt bad about being anxious, but that didn't change the fact that I was feeling it. "Any tips for the new kid?"
"McGonagall loves know it all's so make sure you correct her in class," James piped up. I'd spent the past six years as one of her top students and I knew for a fact that there was nothing the woman hated more than students who tried to correct her in class.
"Is that so?" I quirked my eyebrow at him.
"Oh yes," Sirius nodded enthusiastically at me, "And be sure to never look down at Professor Flitwick, he prefers that students crouch to his level." I knew this one was very false, nothing would have insulted the man more.
"And be very careful around Professor Slughorn," James said solemnly. "He hates students who already know a lot about potions. He really prefers to be the one to teach you, so if you're good just play dumb."
"And what do you say to that Remus?" I asked the boy across the table who shook his head in mirth at his friends.
"I'd follow their advice," He replied, "But only if I wanted to be the most hated student in the castle." I laughed with him as both James and Sirius sputtered in frustration at their friend and fellow marauder for having ruined what would have been a hilarious practical joke had I not had Fred and George Weasley for brothers.
"You're no fun, Moony," James grumbled into his porridge.
"You'll be just fine, Ginny, just ignore everything they say to you and you'll be great," Remus smiled warmly before turning back to his copy of the prophet. His brow furrowed as he read and I saw something strange flash in his eyes.
"Any news?" I asked him in the hopes of distracting myself.
"Nothing good," Remus sighed, "the same old thing. Minister telling everyone to stay calm, missing people all over." He rolled his eyes in irritation at the idea of the no news, news.
"Same shit different day," Sirius shook his head as Remus turned the page and sucked in a sharp breath.
"What?" I asked as his eyes scanned the page quickly.
"There was an attack in Cork. They killed over two dozen people, half of them were children." I drew in a sharp breath and felt a pang in my stomach. The attack on Cork was a major battle during the first war. Voldemort went in person and wreaked havoc on its inhabitants. The dark mark stayed in the sky for two weeks, whatever magic had been used to place it there was far greater than any that could be used to remove it. I'd visited the village of Cork when I was ten years old. My mother had taken me to the monument that had been erected in the victims' honor. In the center of town square there stood the statue of a child clutching a small bear and looking up at their unpictured murderer. The plaque read, In honor of the lost children of Cork and those who gave their lives trying to protect them.
"How isn't that front-page news?" Marlene gasped in shock. The story was buried on the eighth page next to advertisements for sleek easy hair potion, and Flourish and Blots.
"You alright?" Sirius whispered to me comfortingly.
"I know Cork," I muttered under my breath. "He was targeting the children."
"Who?" Remus asked, shocked at the very idea.
"Voldemort," I said matter of factly. Remus and James shuddered as Marlene let out a squeak. Sirius jerked his head over his shoulder as if the wizard might turn up right behind us. "He wanted to kill the children."
"But that's-" Marlene started.
"That's the truth," I cut her off. "He wants us to know that he doesn't care who you are, or what you are. He doesn't discriminate. If you get in his way he will kill you."
"Ginny how-," James started to ask but took a long deep breath in the middle. He continued, "how do you know that?"
I took a long pause as I looked at him and hated myself for bringing up something so dark. The war isn't here, I thought to myself. No one had threatened my friend's safety yet. They had no idea what was waiting for them on the other side of the wards at Hogwarts. My family may not have been gone yet, but I knew that had it not been for the order, we would have all been killed a long time ago. There was no way I could let them continue thinking that everything would be okay because it wouldn't. I looked James in the eye and replied very seriously, "He's the reason I'm here."
I walked into potions class feeling nervous anticipation for one of my least favorite subjects in school. The dark and steamy dungeon was almost identical to the one I'd spent the last six years in. A dozen caldrons lay around the room their contents were in various states of completion. At the front of the room, a piece of chalk was writing the instructions for today's potion on a large blackboard. Next to it stood Professor Slughorn.
He looked almost the same as he would in twenty years. He was just as round and jolly-looking as he beckoned his students to come in. His cheeks had an almost rosy glint to them and he chortled a bit as he saw his favorite students enter and greet him. As soon as I saw him I ducked my head, hoping desperately that he would let me slide in unnoticed. I saw James, Sirius, and Remus sit down at a table in the corner and hurried over to join them, but just as I began to make my way over I was spotted.
"You must be Ginevra Cole," His voice boomed across the room. I cringed internally at all of the attention that was now on me and felt a blush journey up my neck as a few Slytherin's, along with James and Sirius, snickered from the corner.
"Yes, but please it's just Ginny," I replied as I walked up to him.
"Professor Dumbledore told me so much about you, he's a proud man that Albus," His eyes sparkled.
"I'm not all that great," I muttered hoping he would tell me where to sit and turn the attention away from me. My hope was all for naught as he grasped my hand in his, making it disappear in his massive paws.
"Nonsense, utter nonsense. He told me you're something of a transfiguration prodigy."
"Of course he did," I looked around the room hoping someone would save me but when I locked eyes with Remus he smirked at me the way only a marauder could. I glared at him in response. It seemed that all of the marauders, minus Peter who had not managed to make it into many NEWT level classes, were only interested in watching Slughorn fawn over me from the safety of the back left corner of the classroom. They were dead.
"He didn't mention anything about your potions ability, so I guess we will just have to wait and see about that, won't we?"
"I suppose," I smiled cautiously, "Um, can I sit?"
"Oh how silly of me," He chortled as he gazed around the room. "We are in the midst of brewing amortentia, you will need a partner." As he looked around the room again I breathed a sigh of relief that Professor Snape had made us brew amortentia during my fifth year OWL course. "Here will do quite nicely." He gestured toward an empty seat next to a skinny dark-haired boy in the front row. His nose was buried in his notebook as he scribbled down the instructions for the day's potion. His hair was matted to his head in a way that could only be described as greasy. "Mr. Snape?" My breath caught in my throat as the boy Snape looked up from his notes.
"Professor?" He drawled in a manner that wouldn't change in twenty years.
"Miss. Cole will be your partner, do be a sport and catch her up will you?"
The Slytherin's eyes looked me up and down as an appreciative smirk plastered itself onto his face. I groaned internally at the idea of Severus Snape finding me attractive in any way, shape, or form. "It will be my pleasure, Professor." I moved to sit down next to him and caught the eye of Remus as I did. He sniggered behind his hand and mouthed good luck. "I'm Severus," he smiled a tight-lipped smile that he obviously thought was attractive.
"Ginny," I returned his smile with a weary one of my own. It was just like the workings of the universe to force us together like this. As I looked at the boy I was reminded of my promise to him. Do not leave me to him, Ginny I beg you. His words rang in my head. Before me was an innocent boy, not a murderer or my tormentor, a boy. I would help him. Help the boy, save the man.
"I've finished chopping everything but the grinleroot buds. The instructions say finely chop but that will take forever. Just-"
"Crush them with the flat of my blade, no problem," I cut him off. His tone was not one I was familiar with. I would much rather listen to him talk down to me, as he would when he was my teacher. This was far worse. He talked to me in a new way, a way that I could only describe as flirtatious.
"You've brewed amortentia before?" He smirked, clearly impressed as I crushed the grinleroot buds with my knife.
"Once," I said curtly. He scooped the crushed buds into his hand and slowly added them to the potion as I charmed the cauldron to stir 12 times counterclockwise and once clockwise.
"You're only supposed to stir counterclockwise," He jumped up to stop the stirring but I grabbed his arm to stop him.
"Only if you want it to take forever to brew," I scoffed as I pushed him back into his seat.
"How do you know so much about potions?" He asked skeptically, the flirtatious tone gone from his voice.
"I don't," I replied. His eyebrows rose and nearly made contact with his greasy black hair. "Just know a few things is all." His face relaxed but his guard did not come down. He looked down at the cauldron as the potion turned from a muddy green to a dark purple.
"That's not supposed to happen yet," His face scrunched in confusion as he started writing ferociously in a small leather-bound notebook.
"One clockwise stir speeds up the process," I rolled my eyes at him. He continued to write as he studied the cauldron and watched it begin to fade from dark purple to light. "Better add the essence of poppy before it gets too light." His head shot up as he fixed me with a perplexed look. He reached for the glass bottle next to the cauldron and added 3 drops of essence of poppy. The cauldron began to simmer and faded to pink. "Told you so." We stared at each other and I saw a look of apprehensive appreciation cross his face. I met his eyes with some weariness of my own. Had I just impressed the Severus Snape? The answer seemed to be yes.
"Well done!" The voice of Horace Slughorn forced my gaze away from Snape's. " 'I'm not all that great' my foot," He mocked my earlier statement. "Class, if you will look closely Mr. Snape and Ms. Cole have achieved the perfect color for amortentia, and earlier than expected too."
"Aren't they just the perfect pair?" I heard James snicker from across the room. I turned my head quickly to fix him with a glare.
Slughorn leaned over the cauldron and inhaled deeply, his face lit up when the smell hit him, "It smells just right, here why don't the two of you smell." He encouraged us to lean over the cauldron and inhale. I watched Snape bend over to smell it and saw his face tinge pink when the scent hit him. His eyes jerked toward the other side of the front row where Lily Evans sat with some Slytherin girl who was giving her a very hard time. Interesting. "And what about you Miss Cole?" Slughorn asked. I flashed him a smile and leaned over to inhale.
It smelled like waking up in the morning, just after the sun has come over the horizon and before anyone has woken up. The fresh smell of morning air over the hills of home right as the morning dew has set. Next, I smelled Fleetwood's High Finish Broom Polish like it was open right next to me. It reminded me of all those nights before a quidditch game when I would polish my broomstick to quell my nerves. Just like I always did. Right as I was about to stand up I smelled something I didn't remember from the last time I'd made amortentia. It reminded me of fire in the way that it burned at the back of my nose, but that wasn't quite right. It might have been laundry in the way that I wanted to bury my face in the smell, but that wasn't it either. Whatever it was, I'd smelled it before.
"Smells nice," I murmured, still perplexed at the newest scent.
"While I can't pretend to be surprised, I must say that I am impressed. Ten points to Slytherin and Gryffindor for an exceptional potion." Slughorn announced to the room full of students who stood over their cauldrons in various states of panic. Next to no one had a potion that looked anything like ours. "May I ask who is responsible for such success."
"It was a group effort," I answered before Snape could say otherwise.
"Well done," the man before us smiled. "I think we've found you a worthy partner Mr. Snape."
"Oh, professor that won't be necessary-" Snape began to sputter in protest.
"Really, sir, I can work with-" I added in the hope that it might help, but Slughorn held up a meaty hand to both of us.
"Partners, it is." He looked around the class to see if anyone else had reached the desired antidote color and consistency. "Well, seeing as we have one perfect potion nearly twenty minutes ahead of schedule, I do believe the two of you are dismissed." He beamed at us as he said it, and I hurried to grab my books and bag to get away from the old man and my new partner as soon as possible. "We will begin our study on poisons starting next week. I will expect two rolls of parchment on my desk come Monday on the differences between poisons, and their antidotes."
I smiled politely at Professor Slughorn and slung my bag over my shoulder as I turned to leave. Just as I was about to reach the door I looked to my left and found all three marauders staring in desperation at the potion before them. It was a deep navy and spewing an awful smelling black smoke. Remus was chopping grinleroot as quickly as possible while Sirius and James were attempting to sabotage the potion next to theirs when the two Ravenclaws weren't looking. I rolled my eyes and made my way over their table while Professor Slughorn's back was turned.
"Crush the root, don't chop," I whispered to Remus. His eyes shot up to mine and seemed to scream 'Are you crazy?'
"The instructions clearly say-" He began and showed me the notes in his book and I sighed in annoyance again.
"The instructions are overly complicated. Crush the root, then stir 12 times counterclockwise and once clockwise. It should put you back on track." I replied. Remus eyed me apprehensively but complied with my instructions nonetheless.
"You said you hate potions," James whispered accusingly.
"Never said I was bad at it," I replied cheekily. "See you at dinner boys." I nodded my head and winked as I turned towards the door again. My detour meant that Snape had made it out of the classroom before me and as I exited I saw him leaning against the wall eyeing me suspiciously.
He looked fifty years younger than when he was my professor and didn't seem bogged down with the stress of double agent-hood. His hair was long, chopped neatly at his chin, and looked like it desperately needed a wash. His black eyes squinted when I made eye contact and a smirk appeared on his face. He pushed himself away from the wall in a way that I could only describe as graceful and he fell into step beside me as I began to walk toward the Gryffindor common room.
"How are you so good at potions?" He asked accusingly after a few moments of silence.
"I had a good teacher, I suppose," I replied. I laughed a little at the fact that Severus Snape had no idea I was complimenting him on his face.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing," I shook my head and turned toward the staircase that would lead to the first-floor corridor. Snape's words rang in my mind once again, and I knew that keeping this boy at arm's length wouldn't help me keep my promise to him. Yes, he would become a death eater sooner rather than later and eventually a murderer, but I couldn't convict him of crimes that he had yet to commit. I paused before going up the stairs and turned to him slowly. "Do you want to work on the assignment together? I'm no good at poisons but pretty good when it comes to antidotes."
Snape's brow furrowed as he took in my request and his smirk turned into more of a snarl, "Did Potter or Black put you up to this?"
"What?" I asked in astonishment.
"Those idiots convinced you to help them didn't they?" He took a step closer and the look in his eyes scared me more than any look I'd ever seen from him. Sure, Severus Snape had frightened me once or twice but his eyes had never looked so threatening as they did right now.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I replied, I even took a step away from him for fear of what he might do. "I honestly just wanted help, but if you're not comfortable-"
"Oy, Snivellus," the voice from down the hall broke our eye contact immediately and we both turned toward Sirius and James as they walked down the corridor toward us. "Can't you find a date without scaring a girl into it?" James taunted him as they drew closer.
"Potter, can't you find a place where you are actually wanted?" Snape sighed as he stepped away from me. I saw him casually draw his hand toward his pocket where, I assumed, his wand must have been.
"Step away from her, Snivellus," Sirius warned through gritted teeth as he pointed his wand in our direction.
"I don't think I will, dog," Snape replied. A fire went through Sirius at the word 'dog' and for a second I saw the haunted eyes of a man who might spend twelve years in Azkaban. He took a step forward so that he and Snape were only inches apart. "What is it Black? Afraid someone might steal your new plaything out from under your nose?" It was my turn to feel a fire flash through me as I stepped in between the brewing fight, pushing Sirius back as I did.
"That's enough," I nearly shouted.
"Ginny we were just-" James began but I cut him off.
"I don't really care. Now," I turned to face Snape as he and Sirius continued to glare daggers at one another, "I will be in the library Sunday at three, either show and help me or don't. But a word of warning, I will not let you insult me again without consequences so watch your tongue." I watched as Snape broke contact with Sirius and stared at me to see just how serious I was being. When he saw that there was no joke he turned his face blank and nodded.
"And as for you two," I turned to face James and Sirius as they were sharing a laugh at my words toward their enemy, "you need to learn that what you do here has consequences out there." Both their smiles dropped off their faces just as quickly as they'd appeared. "Don't be so stupid as to make an enemy when you could be making an ally. And I'm quite adept in a fight, I don't need you to defend me." Both boys looked sheepish as I berated them, and it was that exact moment when Remus came walking down the hall. His face lit up with a smile as he saw James, Sirius, and me standing near the stairs.
"Ginny, you have no idea how much I owe you," He started to say but his voice trailed off as he saw Snape standing just behind me. "What happened this time?"
"Nothing," I replied, "I'm going for a walk around the grounds, care to join me?"
"Umm, sure," He said as he continued to take in the sheepish looks of James and Sirius and the blank quizzical face of Severus Snape. He started to make his way over to the stairs and we started to climb.
"See you Sunday, Severus," I tossed over my shoulder as we left.
September 23, 1977
The rest of the week went far better than I could have anticipated. Professor Flitwick was still teaching a top of the same stack of books as he would be in twenty years. His chortle of praise when I charmed a set of knitting needles to make a hat made me feel a sense of pride I hadn't felt in the classroom since Voldemort had come back. The fifteen points he awarded Gryffindor when I gave him the cap at the end of the lesson helped too. Runes was still just as perplexing as it always was. Defense class was taught by Professor Montello, a tall man who reminded me of Pious Thickness in appearance, but who had spent a decade as a dragon tamer and the past fifteen years as an Unspeakable. I'd managed to impress him with my corporeal Patronus in our second lesson and was excused from homework because of it. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness when I realized I would never be able to thank Harry for that favor. The true highlight of my week had been transfiguration. Professor McGonagall had called me a transfiguration prodigy in my first year. It was honestly the only happy memory I have from that time. She offered to let me watch the class as they were tested on their ability to transfigure themselves beyond recognition. She was more than pleasantly surprised when I was able to transfigure myself into what I can only describe as an ode to Albus Dumbledore. If I were grading you, she said, you would receive top marks. It was the highest point of my week by far. Even still I was still left with a small mountain of homework and a serious lack of motivation to do it.
I sat in front of a roaring fire in the common room on Friday night, watching lazily as Sirius and James played a game of exploding snap before me. My eyelids drooped as the small explosions reminded me so much of Fred and George that it acted as a lullaby. My strength was slowly returning, I could feel it every time I climbed the steps to Gryffindor tower. If things continued like this I was sure that Madame Pomfrey would clear me for all physical activity at my check-up on Monday. The thought of riding on a broom again made me smile, it had been nearly six months since I last received that thrill. With thoughts of flight, I continued to doze to the sounds of James and Sirius' laughter. Remus was lounging in a chair nearby putting the finishing touches on the transfiguration essay I had finished the day it was assigned. Peter was nowhere to be found, though I can't pretend that I missed him.
"Take that you wanker," James half yelled as he dealt the finishing blow to Sirius. Sirius looked at his friend in betrayal.
"How could you?" He gaped, clutching at his heart.
"Well it's not like you made it very hard," James replied as he pushed his glasses up his nose. The action reminded me so much of Harry. Harry, who seemed like a distant memory and a fierce reality all at once. My heart ached at that moment and I felt a burning behind my eyes like I wanted to cry, which I didn't.
"You're upsetting the beautiful lady, Prongs!" Sirius said as he gestured toward me.
"You're really upsetting everyone, Potter," the voice of Lily Evans saved me from what could have been a very awkward conversation. I turned my head to see her standing behind me with her hands on her hips. She reminded me of Hermione at that moment, if Hermione had ever gotten the chance to be Head Girl, "It's almost thirty minutes to curfew and you should really be keeping quiet."
"Don't be such a party pooper, Evans," Sirius groaned as threw himself onto the couch next to me, throwing a lazy arm over the back of the sofa without touching me. He was so close that I could feel the heat of him radiating toward me.
"I'm not being a party pooper, Sirius, I am doing my job as head girl," Lily replied. The look she gave Sirius could have stopped a dementor in his tracks. I laughed at Sirius as he looked away, unaffected.
"Oh come on, love," James smiled his most charming smile at Lily as he walked toward her, "We were just trying to have some fun on this beautiful Hogwarts eve."
"Well you might want to be a bit more considerate next time," Lily replied, but it was with far less ferocity. She almost looked flustered.
"Anything for you, love," James continued to smile and even added a wink this time. At that, I saw a true genuine blush spread across her cheeks in response. Sirius tapped my shoulder to point it out, and I sent him a sideways smirk to say I'd seen it too. When we made eye contact I saw a spark light in his eyes.
"You know, Evans, I just had an idea that would make sure this common room is very quiet this evening." Lily broke eye contact to look at Sirius in surprise, it was almost like she'd forgotten anyone else was even here.
"Oh?" She asked.
"James and I were talking this morning about how it's going to be ages until we see another Hogsmede weekend, and that was just not going to do, especially considering that Miss Cole here will have to wait until Halloween to experience The Three Broomsticks for the first time," He began to say conspiratorially.
"Well there isn't anything that we can do about that, is there?" She shook her head in annoyance.
"But what if there was?" James had gotten the gist of where this conversation was going and was right on board. I sat up too wondering where exactly they were going with this.
"Well I would guess that it's probably against school rules and obviously not going to happen," She replied in a way that said the case was closed, but Sirius and James would have none of that.
"Oh come on, Evans," Sirius looked at the head girl as if it was a dare, "Don't you know how to have fun?"
"Of course, I know how to have fun," he had clearly struck a nerve.
"What if we promise to keep you both out of trouble?" James offered.
"Both?" Lily asked in shock, "You're not seriously going to force Ginny, who has only been here for a week, who is still in recovery, and who must have far better things to be doing, to come along. Are you?"
"I'm in," I decided to join in on the conversation.
"What?" Lily had clearly been hoping for an ally in this fight, but seeing as I was desperate for an adventure and definitely wanted to see Lily and James get together in this decade, she would find no such ally in me.
"I'm in for an adventure," I replied as I stood up.
"You need to be resting, this week was probably exhausting for you. Don't you think Madam Pomfrey would be livid if you ruined your recovery by going out? You could get hurt!" She began to protest, but I held up my hand in response.
"Well, then you better come. You know, just in case I get hurt," I shrugged at her. I watched her sputter as she weighed the pros of staying versus the cons of going. I saw Sirius eye me appreciatively and James stare at Lily hopefully. She was starting to go red in the face when I finally said, "Well?"
"Come on, love, it'll be fun and you'll be back before anyone even knows we're gone," James added with a touch of desperation in his voice. Lily saw him and her eyes seemed to clear of confusion.
"Fine," She replied. Sirius' bark of laughter made the four of us jump and James gave a fist pump of victory in response.
"How about you Moony?" James turned to the boy in the armchair who didn't seem to blink at all at the plan that had been laid out.
"I promised Wormtail I'd help him with his potions essay when he got back tonight," He shrugged.
"Right," James nodded, "Okay, is ten minutes enough?"
"For what?" Lily asked. Both boys eyed us as if we'd missed something obvious.
"You'll need to change," Sirius answered, "We can't keep you out of trouble when you both clearly look like you shouldn't be outside of the castle." He was talking about the school robes we were wearing. Obviously, we couldn't look like students if we were to stay out of trouble.
"Ten minutes is perfect," I nodded and grabbed Lily's hand as we went upstairs to change.
"Bring the head girl robe," James called right before we were out of sight.
We ran up the stairs, or in my case hobbled, as quickly as we could. Lily was far more flustered than I had ever seen her as we entered our dormitory and found that it was empty.
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Lily sputtered as she ripped open her trunk and began to dig through it.
"Oh come on, Lily," I panted, clutching the stitch in my side, as I limped over to my own, "you might just have fun." She let out a snort in response as she continued to search her trunk. As I slowly caught my breath I pulled out a new pair of dark jeans that, with the shrinking charm Parvati Patil taught me in the third year, just might fit.
"Does this look okay?" Lily asked in a panic as she turned to show me the outfit she'd thrown on in her frenzy. A pair of burgundy flare corduroys and a baggy black sweater.
"You look great," I replied in earnest as I reached for a light blue sweater that caught my eye.
"Don't lie," She groaned as she tugged the sweater over her head and turned back to the trunk to dig for another. I began to dress myself and smiled at the adorable panic that had set on the usually calm Lily Evans. This was no anxiety at the thought of rule-breaking, no this had everything to do with the rule-breaker himself. She pulled a long-sleeved dark green turtleneck over her head and turned to me again, this time with delirium in her eyes. "How about this?"
"Lily," I laughed as she turned to dig through the trunk. With her hair still stuck under the shirt's collar, and the fact that it was inside out, she looked like a madwoman.
"What?" She turned around quickly to face me, holding a grey sweater and a school skirt in either hand.
"Put the black sweater back on. It looks better with those pants, and you'll be much warmer," I said as I walked over to take the sweater and skirt from her. "Besides, it doesn't really even matter what you wear, James will think you're beautiful no matter what." Her cheeks blushed pink and she pulled the turtleneck over her face to hide it from me.
"Oh I don't care about that," She lied. She still took my advice nonetheless. "I don't like James like that."
"If you say so," I smiled and tossed her skirt and sweater into her trunk. I walked over to my own and ran a brush through my hair as we spoke. "You don't have to go if you don't want to."
"What?" Lily almost screeched, dropping both of the boots she was holding in shock.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to," I laughed as she knelt to grab them and pull them onto her feet, the wrong feet I might add.
"No, Ginny, I want to go," She said, more to herself than me, "I can't just leave you alone with those two, you'll go insane or die or-"
"Or have a great time," I smirked as I pulled out my wand to attempt to make the jeans fit better. In the corner of my eye, I saw Lily realize her shoe mistake and try to fix it without me noticing.
"Or have a great time," She agreed quietly. She stood and walked over to the only full-length mirror in the room and began to study her reflection calculatingly. She smoothed her hair and sighed to herself as she tucked the last flyaway behind her ear.
"Sickle for your thoughts?" I asked.
Either she didn't hear me, or she didn't know what to say, because she continued to study her appearance with the focus of a master potioneer on his brew. She brushed a nonexistent piece of fuzz off of her pants and carefully plucked a thread from her sweater. Lily stared thoughtfully at her sweater, miles away from where I was, and started to nibble her lower lip. "Could you try that on this?" she asked.
"What?"
"That spell," She nodded at the jeans that now fit me much better, "I see you doing it all the time."
I bowed my head in embarrassment, I had hoped that the only people who would ever notice my weight problem, or lack of weight problem, would be Sirius and Remus. "Yeah, no problem."
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"No it's fine," I lied as I began to perform the spell on her. It dawned on me that Lily was someone I could trust. She may have been harsh at first and thought that I was an idiot for befriending the marauders, but she was still someone who could be trusted. When I looked into her eyes I saw her son who she would never get to know. But Harry wasn't here, he wasn't someone I would ever see again, and Lily was real and right in front of me. She was worrying over something as silly as a night of rule-breaking. Lily needed to know that this was nothing, she deserved to know it. Most of all I needed to tell someone, and at that moment I made up my mind. "I lost a lot of weight while we were in hiding."
"Hiding?"
"Voldemort had a bounty on my family's heads," I told her, crafting my words carefully. She gasped at the mention of Tom Riddle's chosen name. She could never know the full truth, only Dumbledore could, but I could give her this in the hope that she might trust me too. "My parents always said that what is easy isn't always what is right. We all chose to fight against him, my parents, my brothers, and me. It's why I'm here. We spent the past few months hiding and aiding the resistance. Food was scarce and there were a lot of us. We had to make do."
"There's a resistance?" She gasped in wonder.
"There is." Lily stared at me in wonder, her nerves over leaving the castle had gone and were replaced by a fire in her eyes. I watched as her mind reeled at the thought of being able to fight the man who wanted to destroy every one of her kind. It was like I had just opened her eyes to a world of possibility, but just as soon as the fire burned it began to dim as she turned to look me directly in the eye.
"What happened to them, Ginny?" She practically whispered.
"Being an enemy of Lord Voldemort has its drawbacks." I drew a shaky breath and chose my words very carefully, "I'm here, and they are not."
"Oh Ginny," Lily pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry."
"Thank you," I let her embrace me and felt a spark of friendship ignite between us. I held onto her in the empty dormitory and allowed myself to take the most calming breath I'd had since my arrival. "I didn't mean to- I don't know scare you? It's just that-" I paused again unsure of what I meant, "Life's too short not to do something because it scares us, or because we're worried about what other people will think. Does that make sense?"
"Absolutely," Lily smiled as we broke apart, "Ginny?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for trusting me," She said tentatively.
"Don't mention it," I replied and she smiled at me too. "No seriously, don't mention it, you've officially been sworn to secrecy," I held my pinky out toward her and she did the same. We intertwined them in the most juvenile of promising methods and Lily snorted at the thought.
"We're going to get into so much trouble tonight, aren't we?" We both burst into a fit of giggles. In a complete juxtaposition of the intimacy, we'd just shared seconds before.
"Probably," I snorted as I grabbed my cloak from its hook, "but at least we won't have to hear all about Marlene's evening with whatever his name is."
We made our way downstairs different than how we'd come up. Sure we'd changed our clothes, and Lily had snuck a splash of perfume behind her neck before leaving, but something else had changed too. We weren't just roommates anymore, and we weren't just peers, we were friends and that meant so much more.