*Author's Note: As this story unfolded in my mind, I began to realize that Emily's history of being in foster care would absolutely affect her adult relationships. I've tried to incorporate some of the research I've done on attachment theory - and the good news is that in the end, even people who have suffered such losses can find love more successfully if they're with someone who comes from a strong attachment background. The Weasleys are such a perfect example of this for me - they fight like all families but in the end their relationships with one another are healthy and strong. Emily just has to let Charlie in :) * ***
Chapter 7
Emily ran all the way back to her rooms inside Hogwarts. She closed the door and stood there, breathless, in disbelief. Her first kiss, and she had ruined it. Charlie just made her so incredibly nervous. And not because he wasn't kind; he was wonderful, and seemed to care about what she had to say. But he had ignored her all month, even if he had apologized. She didn't have any idea what he was thinking about this - he had said that he couldn't wait to get back to Romania, and that led her to think that he wasn't looking to get involved with anyone. Maybe this weird tingling was causing him to act without thinking; maybe it was just lust. And she didn't want to go down that road; she'd seen her peers do that any number of times and it never ended well.
She got undressed and slipped under the covers. Should she still go to the Weasley's for dinner tomorrow? At this point, she figured it would be rude not to. Could she get away with avoiding Charlie the entire time? She didn't want to offend him, but she was also so embarrassed. This was exactly why it was a bad idea to get involved with people. Too many things to worry about, and the chances of things ending badly were too high. She had trouble falling asleep that night, and when she finally did, her dreams were fretful.
The next day passed all too quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to Floo to the Weasleys. She was seriously considering the Calming Draught, but remembered that Hermione would be there, and Hermione was a reassuring presence. She threw the Floo Powder into the fireplace and quickly said, "The Burrow!" before she had a chance to change her mind.
She stumbled out of the fireplace, right into Charlie's older brother Bill, carrying drinks. "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry!"
"Hey Emily!" Bill said cheerfully. "Mum, Emily's here, the one who's been working at Hogwarts with us!"
Mrs. Weasley came over, apparently ready to fuss over Emily. "It's so lovely to meet you dear! Hermione's been telling us about your work at Hogwarts, it all sounds so fascinating! Let me look at you," and she gave Emily a thorough motherly inspection. "You're looking a bit peaky, dear, have you been working too hard? Not to worry, not to worry, we'll get you warm and fed, dinner will be ready soon." As she continued bustling around the kitchen getting things ready, she added, "Have a seat dear, they're all in the living room!"
Emily poked her head around the corner, searching for Hermione. Everyone saw her and let out cheers of greeting, to which Emily could only respond with a smile and a small wave. She looked around at all the welcoming faces - no Charlie yet. She let out a sigh of relief and sat down next to Hermione.
She enjoyed listening to their companionable conversation. Only one Weasley brother seemed to be refraining from the merriment; Emily assumed this was George, who had lost his twin only a little over a month ago. She noticed that he would only speak when spoken to, and his smiles seemed more forced than the others. They were all obviously still grieving, and Emily suddenly felt that maybe she shouldn't be there, among people who knew Fred. But both Hermione and Charlie had assured her that the Burrow was always welcoming, and Emily had certainly felt that coming from Mrs. Weasley.
She heard some commotion coming from the kitchen, and then she heard Charlie's voice. She felt her heartbeat quicken. She turned to Hermione and asked, "Did I hear Molly say we'd be eating outside? Should we set things up for her?" She needed to get outside into the fresh air.
"Good idea, let me grab everything and we'll head out there," Hermione replied, but she was looking at Emily curiously. Emily hoped her nerves weren't that apparent to everyone. She and Hermione were able to head outside as soon as Charlie came in to say hi to everyone.
"Nothing going on between you and Charlie, eh?" Hermione said with a knowing look.
"I don't, I mean, I don't know exactly what… I have no idea what's going on," Emily finally managed to say. It was a relief to say that out loud.
They heard the back door and looked over at the house; it was Ginny. "I needed to get away from all the boys… hi Emily!" She took the plates from Hermione and started setting them on the tablecloth Emily had just conjured. "Charlie sure seems grumpy. I wonder if he's still mad that Mum convinced him to stay for the summer instead of going back to Romania."
Hermione cast a glance at Emily, but Emily tried to keep her face passive. Charlie's little sister was nice, just as friendly as Hermione, but Emily had no desire to have any more people know about the travesty that was her love life.
Ginny hadn't seemed to notice. She was interested in chatting with Hermione about returning to Hogwarts; it would be Ginny's last year.
"I'm so glad you'll be there, Hermione. And Harry said he'll come to Hogsmeade on weekends, I wonder if McGonagall will give us special permission to go more often."
Emily thought that Professor McGonagall probably would agree to that; from the conversations they'd had while working, she'd gleaned that McGonagall had a soft spot for Harry. And who wouldn't, at this point?
Mrs. Weasley came out next, waving all the food along with her wand. She looked at the 3 girls standing around the table and suddenly looked emotional.
"What's wrong, Mum?" Ginny asked.
"Oh nothing dear, nothing… just so happy to be having a nice dinner after everything… feels like things are getting back to normal," Mrs. Weasley said as she wiped a tear from her eye. She had just enough time to collect herself before all the boys came out of the house, ready to eat. Emily grabbed a spot next to Hermione and hoped no one would pay her much attention.
On her other side, though, sat Mr. Weasley. Five minute into dinner, he discovered that Emily grew up in the American No-Maj world and was full of questions. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that her experience living with No-Majes was far from the ordinary, and she thought she felt Charlie looking at her concernedly during this exchange. But she found Mr. Weasley to be quite a delight to talk to, as he was so energetic and curious about all things Muggle.
Mrs. Weasley interjected, "Now Arthur, I'm sure Emily doesn't want to talk about clump-uters and CD players all night -"
"Molly it's a computer, Emily was telling me she has some ideas on how to make the Muggle technology work even around magic! I really -"
But Mrs. Weasley cut him off again, obviously aware that he really could go on all night. "Emily, I hear from Professor McGonagall that you're going to be taking over the transfiguration department this year. What an honor!"
Everyone was looking at Emily now, and she felt the all-too-familiar feeling of heat on her face. "Yes, um, Professor Mcgonagall… she's been, um, she's been so kind to me."
"My dear, Professor McGonagall would not give the transfiguration department to just anyone! You must be very deserving. This lot has told me all the things you've done already in just one month, fixing up Hogwarts! And I know Ginny and Hermione are both looking forward to seeing you this school year."
Emily looked across the table at Ginny. "Are you taking the N.E.W.T. class then, Ginny?"
Ginny looked a little worried. "Well, I took some of the first year with McGonagall last year but I'm afraid I'm dreadfully behind now. I don't know if I'll be able to catch up…"
Emily smiled at her. "Not to worry. I'm sure you won't be the only one in that position. We'll catch you up." She'd seen Ginny's work this week and knew that she wouldn't have any problems if she committed herself to the task.
The party continued on and Emily was starting to feel relaxed. Whether it was the butterbeer, the atmosphere, or both, she couldn't say, but she had a warm feeling in her heart that said, this must be what family means. The thought made her feel both emotional and claustrophobic all of a sudden. She got up to take her dishes inside. Maybe she could help Mrs. Weasley start on the clean-up. She walked quickly into the house and hoped no one noticed her haste.
She was standing at the sink when she felt a familiar presence behind her.
"I saw your face when you got up. Are you ok?" It was Charlie's voice.
She didn't turn around; she didn't want to make a fool of herself in front of him again.
"I'm fine, I just… was getting overwhelmed." She felt her voice shaking and tried to pull herself together. "Your family is… they're just so… you are so lucky," and with that she felt her voice break and she held back a sob.
Charlie touched her arm and gently turned her around to face him. The familiar warm tingling was not a surprise anymore, but felt comforting to her now. Charlie looked into her eyes, and she felt the tears streaming down her face. Why did she have to go to pieces, here of all places? But it felt so easy to be vulnerable with Charlie. He already knew her history, and probably understood what she was trying to say.
Charlie put his muscular arms around her, and in that moment, she felt safe. She couldn't think about the future, about what would happen if Charlie left the country. All she wanted was to feel his embrace and the security that it brought.
Just then, she heard someone come in and loudly dump some plates on the table. Charlie turned his head to see who it was. "Just my brother Ron," he said. "He has a knack for interrupting." He kissed her forehead. "Any longer in here and they're going to wonder what's going on. I'd better get back - are you alright?"
She nodded. She could stay here under the pretense of washing dishes. Charlie lingered for another few seconds, then turned to go back outside, looking back at her on his way.
Emily grabbed the dishes Ron had brought in and got them all washed and stacked in about 2 minutes - household spells were not a problem. She was thinking about going back outside when Mrs. Weasley came in.
"Emily, I'd wondered where you got off to! Thank you so much for your help, you really didn't need to go to the trouble. Ginny and the boys are going off to play Quidditch for a bit, but Hermione is still outside." She looked at Emily so kindly, Emily felt her heart might burst.
"It was no trouble, Mrs. Weasley," Emily said faintly. "Thank you for a wonderful meal." That was all she felt she could say without bursting into tears once more. Mrs. Weasley had no idea how much this night had meant to Emily.
She headed towards the door but stopped short when she heard two voices just outside. She heard her name, and Charlie's.
"Hermione, he was all over her. I saw it!" That sounded like Ron.
"Ron, you can be such an idiot. So what if Charlie has feelings for Emily? She's very sweet."
"In case you've forgotten, Fred only just died, and Charlie is acting like nothing's changed!"
"Well now you're being a hypocrite, Ron. Harry and Ginny are together, you and I are together…"
"You know that's not the same, we've known each other for years, and Charlie has known her for what, a month?"
Emily had heard enough. She went back into the kitchen. "On second thought Mrs. Weasley, I have a bit of a headache. I think I'll turn in - where do you keep your Floo Powder?"
Mrs. Weasley looked concerned, but handed her the jar. "Ok dear. It was so lovely to meet you, and I hope we see you again soon."
"Me too Mrs. Weasley," she said as she tossed the powder into the fireplace. Me too.