Goblin Dogs

As Marcia stared out into a barren desert she knew her assumptions on accompanying Star and Pony Head was a bad idea.

"Nope." Marcia turned on her heels ready to walk away.

Pony Head flew in the girls face blocking her pathway. "Where are you going? I thought you wanted a goblin dog, right?"

"Do you see the goblin dog truck?" Marcia gestures out to the empty space before her.

"This is the place. I am positive." Pony Head assured Maria.

"But you've been saying that for the last 12 dimensions, and I'm hungry. I'm gonna go home and make myself a sandwich." Marcia said

"Guys guys guys! I found it." Star was jumping up and down pointing at something over a hill. "There it is. The goblin dog truck."

Marcia and Pony Head walk over next to Star and spot a food truck with a large hot dog on top of it. In front of the truck was a ridiculously insane long line.

"That line is like, a million miles long." Marcia groaned out.

"It's all good. My friend Kelly's holding us a spot." Pony Head looked at the line searching for someone. "Yo, Kelly!"

At the call of the name a green and fluffy monster pokes her head out of the line. The three girls walk, or float in Pony Head's case, over to Kelly.

"Oh, hey Kelly. You Star, come stand by me girl." Pony Head shoves some people out the way making room for Star. "Oh my goodness. Bee fly, we got so much catching up to do. Let's start doing it. Not you Marcia." Pony Head pushes Marcia over to Kelly. "Okay. You can stand over here and talk to Kelly."

Marcia rolls her eyes at Pony Head but looks over at Kelly. "Hey, Kelly." She greeted

Kelly stood there unmoving and just blinked at Marcia.

Marcia gave an awkward look and tried to start a conversation. "Uh, have you been waiting long?" She just got another blink.

"That's so cute. You guys are basically like the same person." Pony Head jeered

"Yeah, but, uh, are you sure you wanna wait in this crazy line for just a hot dog?" Marcia said

"It's not just a hot dog."

Marcia let out a scream ducking down as a battle ax swung out almost hitting her in the face and dug into a tree.

A Koala wearing battle gear looked at the group. "It's a goblin dog. Some would kill for a goblin dog."

"Yeah, I can see that, seeing as you just threw an ax at my head!" Marcia yelled

"I'm the one who threw the ax at your head." The Kola said

"Yeah, I got that." Marcia droned

The tree that had the ax embedded in its back turned around showing it had a face. "I pulled myself out of the ground for a goblin dog." He pointed down at his roots. "I'm a bit tender."

"Oh please. I had a goblin dog just last week and it was the bomb." Pony Head gloated

"Really?" The Koala asked

Before Pony Head could be questioned more a goblin came by as a one-man band singing a Goblin Dog song.

"You might think this line is long. But listen to my goblin song. It's been hours since you ate but goblin dogs are worth the wait. Yeah!"

Marcia looked around her, even after hanging with Star for months she still couldn't comprehend the strange things that happened around her.

"What is happening?"

"With Ms. Heinous gone, St. O's is like a total party school now."

Pony Head and Star talked not paying any attention to the anomaly before them.

"Did you guys see that little man playing the music?" Marcia questioned out loud.

"Marcia, you're ignoring Kelly. Rude." Pony Head said

"Oh, sorry." Marcia turned to Kelly. "Did you see that little man playing music?" She asked

Kelly gives no audible response and just blinks at Marcia.

"Okay. Good chat." Marcia said

Hours later

Pony Head and Star had been talking the whole time while Marcia continued to stand next to the silent Kelly.

"I gotta have a tall man, you know, 'cause I like to float, like, five feet off the ground, so it's like I'm 4'6" but with six-inch heels, you know what I'm saying?" Pony Head chatted with Star.

"Ugh. I mean, sometimes it feels like they're the kids and I'm the parent, you know?" Marcia said

Marcia was simply expecting another blink but instead, Kelly spat out an apple core.

"Whoa! You got another one of those? I'm starving." Marcia asked

Kelly spits a second apple core out into Marcia's hand.

Marcia gave a dry laugh, "Haha, very funny."

The teen's sarcasm was cut off when something hit her in the face obscuring her vision. "What the…" She pulled the object from her face holding it up. It was a white T-shirt with a Goblin dog logo on it.

"Alright, kiddies. You're just moments away from maximum mouth-ertainment. So stay cool in a hot goblin dog T-shirt," Roy said holding up a T-shirt cannon.

Everyone started jumping up and down shouting, waving their hands for a T-shirt.

"Me, me!"

"In my mouth. I want it in my mouth."

Marcia approached the goblin, "Excuse me."

"Hi." Roy greeted

"You work here?" Marcia asked

Roy nodded his head. "Yes."

"We've been waiting forever. How do we get a goblin dog?" Marcia asked

Roy gestured at the long line. "You wait in line."

"And can you tell me how to get in that short line over there?" Marcia asked pointing over at a short line that had velvet ropes.

"Oh, that's the VIP line. It's my boss' idea." Roy said

"How do we get to the VIP line?" Marcia asked

"Well, it's pretty exclusive but" Roy eyed his surroundings, "I could s-n-e-a-k you guys in." He spelled out.

"Oh, you know what? I'm gonna go with no, thank you." Pony Head said

"What? He just offered to sneak us in?" Marcia was getting agitated.

"Oh, what? I thought he spelled something else. That's my bad." Pony Head said

Roy walked the girls over to the VIP line allowing them in. "Welcome to the VIP line!" He pushed up a cart filled to the brim with Goblin Dog merchandise. "Okay. Who's ready to buy some goblin dog products?"

"That's okay. We just want the hot dog." Star stated

"You're in the VIP line. That stands for...Very Interested in buying Products. Buy the products, stay in the line. Get the dogs." Roy explained

"Why didn't you say that before we got in the line," Marcia narrowed her eyes tapping a foot.

"I don't have any money," Star said

"Oh, I think I got some. Check in my back pocket, girl." Star grabbed Pony Head reaching inside the floating horse head. "Oh, uh-uh. No, I think that's my keys."

"Oh, I found it. Uh, 27 cents and two pistachio shells." Star said

Marcia dug into her pockets. "I got some cash."

"Marcia, how much money is that?" Star asked

Marcia counted through her money. "Like $650 bucks."

"Yep, that'll do it." Roy snatched the money from Marcia.

"Hey!"

"This will get you the executive package."

The girls were now decked out in Goblin Dog gear,

Star stared down at her Goblin Dog Slippers. "Man, this goblin dog stuff is ridiculous."

"Yeah, you dropped a ton of cash on all this swag." Pony Head posed with her Goblin Dog hat.

Marcia was pouting crossing her arms. "I was gonna use some of that money to buy a purse." She let out a sigh, "At least I got us into the right line."

Star gasped pointing ahead of them, "Oh my gosh. Look. We're next!"

The Goblin Dog truck window opened revealing Roy.

"Four goblin dogs please." Star requested.

"Oh, you have to wait in that line now." Roy pointed over at another ridiculously long line.

"How many lines are there?" Marcia raged

"Oh, it's all one line. There's just a lot of them, so after that line, you'll go to that line, then that line, then that line, then that line, then that line, then that line, then it hooks back like a dog's leg. Then you gotta take a number. You know, from a little number ticket pulley thingy."

The more Roy talked the angrier Marcia got.

"Okay, I'd like to speak to the manager please." Marcia requested

"Certainly mam." Roy closed the window then reopened it the only difference now was that he was wearing a hat. "Yes?"

Marcia wanted to scream. "What's the deal, man? We waited six hours and bought all your stuff."

"I'm sorry mam, did you say you've been waiting for six hours?" Roy asked

Marcia looked at the goblin with a weary expression. "Yes."

"Well, some of these folks have been waiting years," Roy said

"Years⁈" The girls yelled

"Years!" Roy yelled before closing the window. He reopened the window now not wearing the hat. "So what did my manager say?"

"You're the manager!" The girls shouted

"Oh, you know what? Forget this okay? I'm not waiting years just to try a goblin dog." Pony Head said

"What? Pony Head, I thought you said you had a goblin dog before." Marcia pointed out.

Pony Head got a nervous look, "Well, as it were, uh…"

Marcia put her hands on her hips. "Have you had a goblin dog or not, Pony Head?"

Pony Head started to nervously sweat. "Uh, I don't know. Who can tell? Like...maybe not?"

Marcia throws her arms up, "I'm done."

"Marcia, come on. Pony Head didn't mean bad. She's just a liar." Star said

Marcia walked away angrily muttering under her breath.

Pony Head followed after the angry brunette. "Wait. Wait, wait, wait."

"Wait? That's all we've been doing. I'm sweaty, I'm hungry, and on top of everything, you lied about goblin dogs." Marcia ranted

"Look, Marcia, I mean, all of these people have lied." Pony Head gestured to the line.

"She's right. I lied too. I'm not the one who threw this ax at you." The Koala from before said

A monster with a furry body stepped forward. "Hi. My name's Stan."

"Hi, Stan."

"I'm also a liar. I told my wife this was a mink coat. It's just my body."

More patrons started confessing to their lies.

"My glasses are fake. Ooh, it feels good to let that out."

"These aren't my teeth."

"Look, we've all lied, and lying is not cool, but there's only one person here who's lied to all of us," Star said

The Koala pointed at Pony Head. "Yeah. Pony Head."

"Yeah!" The crowd cheered

Marcia let out an exasperated sigh shaking her head.

"Wait, no. No, no, no." Star pointed over the Goblin, "That guy!"

"Oh, yeah. He did lie to all of us. Get him!"

The crowd turned into an angry mob and went after Roy.

"You're gonna lose your place in line!" Roy panicked picking up his T-shirt cannon firing it at the crowd. "Look out Marcia." Pony Head shouted

Marcia yelped as she was hit in the face with a T-shirt.

Pony Head uses her horn and casts a magic spell destroying the T-shirt cannon.

"Oh no!" Roy yelled

"Yeah!"

"Alright Pony Head!"

Star and Marcia cheered.

Roy hops into the Goblin Dog truck and drives off.

"He's getting away," Star shouted

"We lost him," Marcia said

"Oh no, we certainly did not. Grab on, turd." Pony Head said

Marcia grabbed onto Pony Head, "I'm not sure I like you calling-aaahhh!" Pony Head took off with a screaming Marcia.

Star waved her wand, "Summoning cloudy charm." Star summons cloudy and hops onto the happy cloud.

The three girls chase after the speeding goblin dog truck. When they get close, Marcia starts to throw her goblin dog merchandise at Roy. She nails him in the head causing him to swerve the truck.

"Magnificence marshmallow mush!" Star shouted

A giant marshmallow appears and the truck rams right into it crashing. The truck window bust open and Roy rolls out of it.

Pony Head hovers over to Roy pointing her horn at him in a threatening manner. "Okay Roy, now get out the goblin dogs."

"Look okay, you get me severed horse head. Goblin dogs aren't real." Roy said

"Whaaaaaat?"

"It's a ruse. I took you for everything." Roy said

"Come on you guys. Let's just go." Star said

"Look, kids, you can have your money back." Roy held out Marcia's money.

Marcia crossed her arms and turned up her nose. "You know what? Keep it."

"Uh, Marcia, that was $650 bucks," Star said

"Yeah. Well, now every time he sees my $650 dollars, he'll remember the three kids whose dreams he wrecked. Besides, I don't want the money his dirty little lying grubby hands touched." Marcia said

"You know, I'll just spend the money," Roy said

"He's right Marcia. Yeah, we'll take the money, okay, thanks." Star went to reach for the money but Marcia pulled her hand back.

"No Star, we're going home."

The girls walk away leaving Roy.

Roy starts to laugh as he lets the money blow away.

"What the…"

Roy runs up and grabs onto Marcia.

"Staaaaaar…."

Roy continued to laugh, "You've done it."

"Ready when you are, Star," Marcia said

Star lifts her wand and blasts away Roy. The Goblin slides on the ground a scorch mark on his face.

"No. You earned the goblin dog." Roy smiled sitting up.

"What are you talking about?" Marcia asked

"Goblin dogs are real. I had one before."

Everyone turned around to see Kelly standing there. She flips the front part of her hair revealing a normal looking teen girl with glasses underneath.

"Oh, we thought you died." Pony Head said

"What? No, we didn't." Marcia said

"Oh, okay, well, I'm sorry. I thought she did die, so excuse me." Pony Head said

Marcia stepped forward pointing at Kelly. "Wait. You've had a goblin dog?"

"Got it from Roy." Kelly gestured to the Goblin.

"So goblin dogs are real?" Marcia asked Roy.

"They are. Yes." Roy nodded his head slowly.

"This was all some kind of trick." Star glared putting her hands on her hips.

"Not a trick." Roy reached into his apron pulling out a bottle of ketchup and mustard. "A goblin dog must choose its master through trial, and today, the goblin dog chooses you." He sprays the bottles on the ground making a pattern on the ground. The drawing glows and the group is bathed in a yellow light.

When the light dies down the girls are all in a Goblin Dog Temple.

"Wow!"

"Behold!" Roy pulls on a lever and from the floor rises a plate with four goblin dogs on it.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Whoa."

"Those aren't goblin dogs." Roy picks up the plate and opens a statute revealing a microwave. He puts the goblin dogs in the microwave and cooks them before pulling them back out. "These are goblin dogs."

"Oh, yeah." Star picks up two goblin dogs holding one out to Pony Head. "Hear Pony. Bonappetit."

Kelly and Marcia pick up their own goblin dog and all the girls take a bite. As they chew their excited faces slowly drop.

"This...tastes like a normal hot dog," Marcia said

"It's basic, but it's good." Pony Head said

"Hmm. Yeah. I guess I was expecting…"

"HAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The girls all gasp and their eyes glaze over as they fall into a psychedelic daze.

"That was amazing!"

Star and all the girls sit up back to normal in the desert.

Marcia let out a laugh as she smiled, "I gotta give it to you, Pony Head. Those hot dogs were pretty good."

"Oh, well, you know, the best for my besties, and whatever, all that kind of stuff." Pony Head laughed before getting serious, "But, you guys, on the real, I am so done with this place."

Marcia stood up dusting herself off, "That goes double for me."

"Ugh. Roy makes me go through this every time. Why are those goblin dogs so good?" Kelly said

"Hey Kelly, it's been really great talking to you," Marcia said

The top of Kelly's hair stands up revealing a second pair of eyes.

"Yeah man. It was really cool hangin' out with you too." The hair said

"What⁈" Marcia fell back in surprise.

"Oh, hey, I'm Tad. I'm Kelly's boyfriend." Tad greeted

"You've been here this whole time?" Marcia asked

"Yeah, I don't really eat hot dogs. I'm a vegan and stuff. But, you know, I like to hang out." Tad said

Marcia was in her room when Star came in.

"Marcia~" Star sang out.

"Something up Star?" Marcia asked

Star had a big smile on her face as she hid something behind her back.

"What's with that look? Last time you smiled like that I was almost eaten by a monster." Marcia said

"We're not going anywhere dangerous right now. I've got something for you." Star pulled something out from her behind back and Marcia gasped.

"Oh wow, Star!"

Star held out a cute small purse. It was round with little cat ears on top and the strap was a gold chain. The purse was red with a cursive pink M monogrammed on the front.

"Since you spent all your money on that Goblin Dog stuff I thought I'd magic you up that new purse you wanted. I know it's not the one you wanted but-"

"No Star, this one's perfect! Thank you!" Marcia smiled hugging her friend.

"What are besties for!