Jays pov; it's been about two weeks since Christmas the kids loved everything Center got them it was nice to spend time with my family and paint all the kids love to be in around each other. The boys decided that the cabin was the perfect place to start crawling so when we got home we started to baby proof the house again on top of that we have now Chase around two babies and a new puppy that Erin got me for Christmas I still can't believe she got me one but the kids have loved the puppy. We have been back at work for a couple days we luckily caught a case we sold it within a day and a half so right now we are doing paperwork

AR= hey guys
KA= thank god you are here come and help out with the paperwork
AD= where have you been we haven't seen you in a couple days
E= also where is Haley is she at home resting since the baby should be here soon
AR= well to answer all your questions first is me and Haley have been busy because our baby decided to come into this world a little early
VR= wait really no way
E= so tell us is it a boy or a girl
KB= wait where is Haley at
J= don't tell me you left her at home with a toddler and a newborn
HU= no he didn't I just been a little slow right now and luckily we have Adam's parents had to help us with little Ashton
VR= well that's good so tell us everything about the newest baby
AR= okay so first thing is the new baby was born on New Year's Eve which happens to be our anniversary
KB= that's awesome
E= I guess you are officially join the club of having a baby on your wedding anniversary like me and Jay Kevin and Vanessa
VR= oh yeah welcome to the club
KB= most important question is is it a boy or a girl
HU= How about you guys take a kiss before we tell you what the baby is
DKR= my guess is a boy
E= I think this unit needs more boys so a boy
J= I say it's a girl
KB= I'll say a boy
KA= I'll say a boy
GM= my guess is a girl
VR= A little
AO= A little brother for Ashton
HV= I bet another boy
HU= well we asked Platt and she said boy also
AR= so who's ready to find out
All= we are
HU= so only three of you guessed it like we had a little girl
E= wait no way you had a little girl that's amazing congrats
KA= well you have join the girl Dad club now Adam
J= it's the best club ever believe me
KB= I can't believe you had a little girl
DKR= congrats guys
AR= thanks Kenny
VR= so what is this little girls name
HU= well the little girls name is Miss Harlow Faye ruzek
KB= that is a beautiful name guys
AR= why thank you Kim
E= can we maybe hold her
HU= of course you can hear you go ( hands her over
VR= so how much did she weigh
AR= 6 pound and 6oz
KB= wow she was small
HU= Yes all that matters she's hard little small miracle rainbow baby
E= Rainbow baby what does that mean
AR= Well we never told you guys this but we had a miscarriage about two months before we got pregnant with Harlow
HU= and answer your question Erin A rainbow baby means a baby that is born after either a miscarriage or infant loss So that's why it's Harlow is called a rainbow miracle baby
VR= oh man I'm so sorry to hear about your loss guys
AR= why thank you Vanessa it was an early miscarriage so it wasn't as bad
HU= we actually were going to announce to you guys but then that night we miscarried it
E= well that must've been hard to go through
VR= why didn't you guys tell us what was going
HU= I think I was just sad about losing my baby and it was right after you guys had the boys I didn't want you guys to be sad I wanted you guys to focus on being happy on having two newborns in your life
E= oh Haley you guys could've told us we are your family no matter what we would be there to support you
AR= why thank you
HU= One thing that helped us move past or loss of the baby that we miss Carrie was we gave the baby a name
VR= oh really what was the name you pick
HU= how about you tell him babe
AR= all right so the baby that we lost his name was Hayden Rae ruzek
KB= that's a great name
AR= thanks Kim
KA= so has Ashton met her yet
VR= and what does he think of her
AR= he loves her he wants to hold Harlow all the time
HU= it's the sweets
E= I bet it is the best thing you can do for your kids is to give them a sibling because it's the best feeling in the world to watch your kids love on each other
KA= couldn't agree more Erin

You sit and chat with Haley and Adam Lowe they tell us everything about how the labor went with Harlow. They leave about an hour later while we finish up our paperwork later that night we eat dinner and hang out with the kids until bedtime Jay puts the girls down while I take care of the boys

J= those girls of yours are something
E= oh really were they hard to put down today
J= in a way they were but just wanted to snuggle me and didn't want me to leave but they finally went to bed
E= all those girls love you so much it's so cute to see it every day
J= well the boys love you so much too they are for sure mama's voice aren't kind of jealous of them
E= oh whatever Jay you get enough of my attention nothing to be jealous about
J= I know I'm just kidding
E= figured, I can't believe Adam and Haley had their baby
J= I know it's crazy
E= it was sad to learn that they went through a miscarriage before they had Harlow
J= I know I couldn't imagine going through that it must've been hard for them
E= oh yeah and it makes me extra grateful for all five of our beautiful kids that are sleeping right now
J= yes it does thank God for them
E= Do you know after hearing what they went through all I want to do is hug her kids
J= oh yeah same
E= I think maybe in the next day or two we should get a little gift basket and send it over to them maybe give them some girl clothes that carmyn and ember once wore
J= that's a good idea we can do
E= but for right now I think today was long so we should head to bed
J= yes we should
E= can you maybe carry me to bed I don't think I could even walk
J= of course I can

i pick Erin up and carry her to bed when he's not staying awake for a while because we couldn't stop thinking about what Hailey and Adam went through The boys into breaking up at one point so we just snuggled with them all night. It felt nice to Nice to have a couple of the kids close to us and being extra grateful for them

Erin's pov: it's been about three weeks since the boys is Christmas at the cabin we love coming up to the cabin for Christmas every year the cabin is a special place especially since ember and now The boys decided to start crawling here at the cabin for the first time. The boys are almost 9 months old which is so crazy they will be a year before we know it. We have been back at work since the new year for a week and a half now it's hasn't been super busy so that's. We also learned about a week ago that I am in Haley had The second child a little girl named Harlow, but also learned that before Harlow they were going to be pregnant again but miscarried which is so sad. But happy everything turned out for them. We decided to make a gift bag for them and today we started to bring it over to them

AR= i'm coming ( opens the door ) hey guys what are you doing
HU= Who is it Adam
AR= it's Erin, jay and the kids
J= hey Adam can we come in
AR= yes of course come in ( let's them in )
E= Where is Haley at
PJ= where is Ashton at
AR= well Porter he is playing in the playroom if you guys want to go join her
CN= can we go play with Ashton daddy
J= of course go ahead guys ( they run off)
AR= and Erin to Answer your question Haleys in the living room giving Harlow a bottle
E= all right( in the living room) hey Haley how is it
HU= hey Erin it's going pretty good
J= hey Haley you look great
HU= why thank you jay
E= oh man I forgot how small babies are
AR= oh yeah same here Erin I forgot how small we could be too especially hanging with Ashton all the time
J= oh yeah the kids grow super fast
HU= yes they do well she is finished eating so he would like to hold her
E= I would love to hold her hand over ( she does ) oh man she's beyond perfect
AR= Who do you think Harley looks like more
J= I think she looks like both of you
E= couldn't agree more a perfect mix
HU= that's what I said
E= just holding her it's making me have some major baby fever all the sudden
AR= how major enough to maybe have another baby right now
J= oh I hope not
E= no not at all five kids is enough for right now believe me especially since we had to it once
HU= don't blame you there
AR= what do you have in your hands jay is that a present for me
J= well technically it's for you and Haley
E= But it's really for harlot we made you guys a little gift bag and we also included some clothes that the girls wore when they were little since you guys might need some girl clothes since you didn't know what you were having until you give birth
HU= oh how sweet
AR= thanks guys
J= you're welcome

We catch up with him while they open the gift we got them they loved it, we ended up staying for about an hour and a half when we got home we put the twins down for a nap while the other three played in their rooms Jake it started on supper about 30 minutes later a sudden knock comes at the door

E= Who could that
J= maybe it's Adam we might have forgotten something over at their house
E= yeah maybe I'll get it ( opens the door)
Hey Hank what are you doing here
HV= well I came to talk to you guys is Jay around
J= yes I am hank what's up
E= come in the kids will be happy to see you let me go get them
HV= actually can you wait on that for a second
E= yeah sure
J= what's going on Hank
HV= well I have some sad news
J=don't tell me we have to come in because we cut a case
HV= oh no nothing like that
E= okay what's up
HV= can we sit down before I say anything else
J= sure can ( they sit )
E= okay Hank what is going on you're scaring me just tell me what's happening
HV= okay I hate to do this but Erin your mother has died
E= wait what this has to be a joke
HV= it's not Erin I'm sorry
J= what happened to her
HV= well she was brought into med because she overdosed they tried to bring her back but it wasn't successful
E= of course she overdosed
J= Do they know what drug she overdosed on Hank
HV= I found Oxy and her plug which makes sense since that was her drug of choice
E= how long ago did she die
HV= she was pronounced dead at med at 2:13 AM
J= wow that long ago
E= why did it take so long for anyone to tell me that she died
HV= well it's because when she was bought in she had no ID on her
J= so they labeled her Jane doe
HV= exactly but once she died they called the cops and they ran her prints which took way too long
E= like always
HV= well once the prints came up to be your mother they called me
E= Wait why didny they call me but they called you instead
HV= well ever since bunny pulled you in after Nadia died I had an alert whenever she cut in trouble or was brought into med to notify me
J= I guess that's a good thing
E= so now what do we do
HV= well you and Teddy have to figure out if you guys want a funeral or just cremate her
E= I think I speak for me and Teddy she doesn't deserve A funeral
J= I think you are doing the right thing
E= Wayne speaking of Teddy I better call him and tell him the news
HV= you don't have to worry about that I already called him before I came over
J= I guess that's one less thing to worry about babe
HV= oh yeah
E= when is teddy coming in
HV= he should be in early in the morning
J= that's good
HV= do you want to wait until Teddy gets here to cremate her or just get it done and over with it
E= I think it would be best to not delay it any longer and just get her cremated
HV= oh I could call over to med and get everything started unless you want to do that
E= no that's fine all I want to do is hug my kids right now and not worry about her anymore
HV= don't blame you there I will just let you guys enjoy your night with the kids I'll get everything figured out with your mother and see you guys tomorrow when Teddy gets in
J= All right Hank thanks for coming by letting us know and we will see you tomorrow

Jay walks hanks out while I go and play and snuggle with my kids. Jay joins me a few moments later we decide just to order pizza and just be with her kids at night I barely slept any the next morning I get up before Jay and go make some coffee

J= good morning beautiful
E= hey good morning
J= how did you sleep last night
E= not very well hence why I need coffee right now
J= why did one of the kids wake you up last night
E= no they stay to sleep all night
J= okay that's good why did you not sleep that well
E= my mind is going crazy and anytime I fall asleep I would have a bad nightmare
J= what were your nightmares about
E= I have no clue I woke up right away and didn't remember much about them
J= why didn't you wake me up then
E= because you look so peaceful sleeping I didn't feel like waking you up
J= well thank you but you could always wake me up no matter what you know that
E= yes I do babe next time I will do
J= all right good Chanel so how are you doing since finding out the news that Hank told us yesterday
E= I'm doing okay To be honest I've always thought about the moment I would either get a call from Matt that she was bought in or a call from a random cop saying your mom has died and I would be so sad but I'm not even say does that make me look like a horrible person
J= of course not Erin come here ( hugs and hold her) what your mother has done to you and Teddy your whole life you have every right to feel the way you do so feel whatever the way you want to about her being dead
E= why thank you babe
J= your welcome
E= besides how could I forgive her for kidnapping our kids because we decided to set boundaries with her to be around our kids
J= and then made you almost go into preterm labor with miss ember
E= what kind of mother does that to her child
J= Who knows but the only good thing she did was give birth to my wonderful wife who happens to be the best mother to our five crazy kids
E= have I told you lately that you are the most amazing husband ever
J= not lately but I love to hear so thank you
E= you're welcome ( kiss but then hears the kids) oh well speaking of the kids I guess they are up now
J= oh yeah let's go get them wait did Hank tell you what time Teddy should be getting in or not
E= no he didn't but I'm guessing probably here soon
J= well let's go hang out with the kids until they show up
E= that works for me

We going grab the kids and play with them and don't hang and Teddy show up about two hours later a knock comes at the door

PJ= Who is that mommy
E= I think I know who it is but let me go see you guys stay here and play
CN= okay mommy
E= ( opens door) hello Teddy
TC= hey Erin ( hugs) it's so good to see you again
E= same here hey hank
HV= hey Erin how are you doing
E= not too bad why don't you guys come in
TC= all right
HV= so I told Teddy that bunny's ashes will be ready in the next couple days
E= all right
TC= so I know I'm here for a sad thing but I heard that I am an uncle so can I please go meet my nieces and nephews
E= of course you can let's go
HV= hey kids
CN= grandpa Hank
PJ= what are you doing here
HV= well I came by to say hi
EG= all right
E= hey kids
PJ= ( see teddy) mommy who is he
E= well buddy this is my brother Teddy so it makes him your uncle
CN= like uncle Will
J= oh yeah baby girl
TC= hey kids you guys definitely got your looks from your mom
E= hope that's a good thing
TC= oh yeah hey Jay how are you
J= i'm good how are you
TC= I'm doing good
E= so Teddy this little boy right here is Porter say hello to Teddy buddy
PJ= hello Teddy
TC= Nice to meet you little man
E= we adopted Porter over a year and a half ago
TC= oh really
J= yeah when Erin found out she was pregnant the second time we had a case that bought us to this one house and that is where I found him he only wanted me so the social worker let him come home with me we fostered him for about a year little over a year maybe and then adopted him on his birthday.
TC= wow that's cool
J= oh yes so this little girl ( points to Camryn) is our firstborn her name is Camryn
TC= Nice to meet you Camryn
CN= nice to meet you
J= and this shy little girl is ember
TC= hey ember ( brings hand to shake)
E= it's okay ember he's a good guy don't worry daddy got you
TC= let me guess she is a daddy's girl
J= oh yeah since the day she was born
TC= oh man that must be the best
J= oh yes it is
E= and are youngest babies
TC= wait you said babies
HV= oh yes she did they had twins
TC= oh my that's exciting
J= oh it is
E= well this little guy I'm holding is mr. Jaxon reed
TC= hello jaxon
J= and this little guy I'm holding is Mr. Jonah William
TC= Hello Jonah I'm your uncle Teddy the boys look just like you Jay
E= yes they do which works out since they were born on his birthday
TC= wow that must be a nice birthday present you got
J= oh yes it was it was the very best nothing can top it now
E= I love that all my boys were born on the same day it's the best
TC= I bet it is
E= so do you have anybody that you might be seeing
TC= I might be
HV= i'm going to go and let you guys catch up with each other
CN= no grandpa don't go
HV= I will be back I promise
J= how about grandpa comes back and have dinner with us
PJ= that work
HV= yes it does all right see you guys later ( he leaves)

Once Hank leaves teddy gets to know his nieces and nephews over the next couple hours, we eat lunch together with Teddy and then the kids go down for a nap so we get alone time with Teddy which I don't really decide what to do with bunny's ashes. Later that night Jay Cooke some shrimp pasta for us Teddy Hank and the kids all enjoyed it we were done eating in about 30 minutes

TC= wow that really was a good pasta
HV= Connecticut more way to go cooking this Jay
J= why thank you guys
TC= Who knew that Erin can marry someone who could cook especially well since she can't cook
E= oh come on i'm not that bad
HV= actually Erin you are you once burn pancakes
E= doesn't everybody
HV= not when they are microwavable
J= wait you really did that
HV= yes she did
TC= I guess you got worst over the years
E= I don't think so
J= I'll give Erin Credit after the kids were born she has learned to cook more and more each day
J= why thank you babe
HV= well I'm stuffed I think I'll be heading home right away where are you going to be staying tonight Teddy
TC= i'll probably get a hotel nearby to stay at
E= wait no way you can stay with us no reason for you to pay for hotel
J= yeah your family Teddy you can stay here if you want
HV= or I got another option maybe you can come stay at my house this way the kids couldn't wake you up in the morning
TC= you know what Hank I think I'll take you up on your offer
HV= all right
TC= no offense to your kids guys but I think I rather get a good nights sleep
E= that's completely understandable daddy
HV= all right so Teddy are you ready to go now
TC= I think so I'll go see you guys later
J= see you later
PJ= Bye uncle Teddy
TC= Bye kiddos

Once Teddy and Hank leave we clean up from dinner and then hang out with the kids the rest of the night. A couple days have passed and bunny ashes were ready to be picked up so we met up any late two sweater ashes we decided to leave the kids with Taylor for the timing because they don't need to be part of what's happening

E= hey Teddy are you ready to get this over with
TC= yeah it's time to put her in the past
HV= I guess you guys don't want to bring the kids along
J= no we didn't we don't know how to explain this to them because they are too young do you understand anything
TC= it makes sense
E= besides I don't really know her that much and also when they met her it was kind of traumatic for all of them
TC= wait what do you mean
J= should we tell him
HV= all right so when I was pregnant with ember I was out with Porter and Camryn abs I ran into her and she said she wanted to get to know her grandkids
TC= which is just like her
J= well me and Erin talked it over and agreed to let her get to know the kids so we met up at a local park with Her
HV= I showed up just for back up and support
TC= like always
E= well when she got there we set up boundaries with her
J= in the boundaries weren't too bad like she couldn't be alone with them she always had to have one of us around, and also she wasn't allowed to come and go into our kids life
HV= pretty simple boundaries
TC= oh yeah but I bet she didn't like them at all
E= oh no she didn't but we had a few great visit with her until this one time
TC= what happened during this one visit
E= Well I was at the park with the kids of her by myself and I happen to use the restroom which was only like 5 feet away from where we were
TC= oh yeah
E= well when I came back the kids were nowhere to be seen and I could not find them
TC= are you freaking kidding me let me guess she denied that she didn't know what happened to them
E= oh yeah she acted like she wanted to help find them when they were missing
HV= I was the one who figured it out that maybe she had something to do with the kidnapping
J= and when Erin confronted her about if she did or not she finally admitted it that she had something to do with the kidnapping
E= but then I went into pre-turn labor luckily we got to the hospital just in time because they were able to stop my contractions
TC= oh my God of course she could cause more pain do you guys so where did you end up finding the kids
HV= in her old bar she owned
TC= what a mother she was
J= oh yeah
HV= are we ready to do this because it's kind of getting cold out here
E= all right let's do it ( let's the ashes go)
TC= bye mom
E= hope you are way nicer up there
J= let's hope so
HV= yes please

Once we release her ashes we leave and head home to hug kids Teddy stays for another day or two then he goes back to his life. Later that night me and Jay just lay in bed together

J= it was nice to see Teddy again
E= yes it was I hated the reason why he had to come in town
J= oh yeah so now that Teddy is gone how do you really feel about your mom being gone
E= well I don't know how I feel
J= come on Erin it's only me here tell me how you really feel
E= ( starts to cry) I really want to be sad that my mom is gone because that is how everyone is supposed to feel when they lose a parent
J= oh Erin come here ( she does) everyone grieves in their own way
E= I know that
J= so tell me what you feel babe
E= I feel so angry at her
J= why is that
E= because I wish she was a mother I looked up to who I could have an amazing relationship with like how other girls did but no I can't I just wish she could be a normal mother for once
J= I have no clue babe the only good thing she did as a mother was give birth to you the amazing woman that's laying in my arms
E= oh come on Jay
J= I'm serious babe if she didn't get back to you then I wouldn't of met the woman of my dreams who gave me the five most wonderful kids are sleeping in the women's in this wonderful house that we built together
E= okay you make a great point
J= figured so
E= have I told you lately you are the best husband ever
J= maybe you did A few days ago but I don't mind hearing it I love you
E= and I love you ( kiss her)

We finally get to sleep I'm just so grateful for my wonderful husband and kids that I have I don't know what we would do without each other. Now I can move on my life without my mother trying to interrupt it at any point

Authors note: I hope you like this chapter it was an idea I had a while back and besides I don't think we really wanted to do much with bunny anyways .