I do not own RWBY. If you're here for a solid, dramatic stories with characters acting as they do in canon and philosophical quandaries...you've come to the WRONG PLACE!

Chapter 2: Blasphemy

Pyrrha Nikos had spent most of her life being worshiped. Called the 'Goddess of Victory' and praised repeatedly, Pyrrha had been placed on a pedestal for her entire life. Four time Mistral Champion, greatest hunter in her school; Pyrrha was never short on praise. This, however, raised problems. Mainly that Pyrrha Nikos, truly thought she was a Remnant-bound Goddess. Why else would she wear combat stilettos and thigh-highs if not to show off her divine ass? Why else would she wear a tiny miniskirt in combat and a top that showed off her generous cleavage if not to remind everyone gazing upon her of her beauty?

However, not all was ambrosia and nectar for the Goddess of Victory. Being the perfect and utterly gorgeous Goddess was a lonely existence. Because of her overwhelming skill on the battlefield, her wisdom, her kindness and her beauty, she found herself being alone. She needed someone, a holy consort. A High Priest whose duties would include warming her divine bed, and setting fire to her divine heart. So when she had graduated from Sanctum, she decided that the best possible course of action would be to travel to Beacon, to spread her word and to find the chosen one who would become her beloved.

So far, all she saw were more worshipers. The girl in white, Weiss was her name? She seemed to be quite the worshiper, praising her skill and offering her loyalty as what she called 'partners.' This however, would not do. She didn't dislike the loyalty her follower showed, but she wasn't into the female form. Hers was enough, thank you. She needed a strong male, preferably one who didn't know of her. One she could shape into the perfect worshiper, the perfect High Priest for her religion.

And that's when she saw him. He was handsome, with hair of spun gold, and eyes of the purest sapphires. Upon gazing on his form, she knew that the king of the gods, Monty Oum himself, had him forged just for her. She was certain when, much to her initial surprise, she noticed his gaze passing right over her as he chatted with a smaller hooded girl. His eyes didn't even recognize her. There were no words of praise, no getting down to his knees before her beauty, he didn't even look as though he even recognized her existence! Confidently she strode towards him, as he ambled away, whistling a tuneless song. She'd follow him, observe him. So far, every sign pointed towards him being the one, the one she'd make her High Priest.

Eventually they found themselves in the auditorium and the beautiful blond made his way to a seat in the back, as if trying to avoid everyone else. The look in his face looked irritated, as though he didn't want to be there. Pyrrha made her way next to him and sat down, quietly, waiting for his reaction. There was none. He didn't even bother to look at her! This was a surprise; men couldn't keep their eyes off of her, for good reason, of course. The young blond man simply sat back, gazing upon the stage with a bored expression. Well, of course he'd be bored. Any High Priest of mine would have to be skilled and strong. This is most likely just ceremony for him, as it is for me. Pyrrha nodded to herself. In fact, I bet he's here for me, isn't he? Lord Monty obviously saw my plight and granted me this lovely male for my bedchambers. I shall grant him all my blessings.

"Good morning." Pyrrha spoke up, hoping to grab his attention.

A few moments passed before the blond looked to her, cocking an eyebrow. "Er, sorry?"

"I said, good morning." She flashed him her award winning smile.

He shrugged. "'suppose so. Could do without all the pomp and circumstance though." After speaking, his gaze went right back to the stage.

Pyrrha was stunned. Nothing? His eyes didn't even hold a hunger in them! Shouldn't he be staring at her as though he'd ravish her on the spot? No, wait. This must be a test. Lord Monty obviously wants me to win him, as I've won so many battles before. Well, as the Goddess of Victory, I cannot simply let this stand. I shall claim him as my own! "My name is Pyrrha Nikos," She spoke, hoping that she'd get something from her name at least, "And what's yours?"

"Jaune. Jaune Arc." He extended a hand, giving a soft smile.

Pyrrha's heart melted at that. Gods above, he looked absolutely heavenly when he smiled! He needed to do that much more often. She'd give him reason enough, to be sure. She took his hand and shook it, as the mortals did, flashing him another smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Arc."

Jaune waved his hand. "Please, Mr. Arc was my father. Call me Jaune."

Already telling me to address you so familiarly? I'm already working my way towards your heart, aren't I? "Of course, Jaune."

If Pyrrha really was a Goddess and could see into Jaune's mind, she'd be very disappointed. She was barely registering in his thoughts. I hate you so much mom. You and your stupid training and your killing me over TWO THOUSAND TIMES, and your sending me to Beacon...why am I even here? I can kill a fucking Beowulf for Oum's sake! I have other things I'd rather be doing! Oum above, when the hell is the Headmaster going to show up? I don't have all day. I'd like to get kicked out sooner, rather than later, thank you!

Pyrrha cleared her throat, after watching him go silent for a while. "So, Jaune, have you given any thought to who you would like as your partner here at Beacon?"

Jaune remained silent for a bit before shaking his head and turning to her. "Er, sorry, what was that again? Apologies, I'm easily distracted with my own thoughts sometime." He gave a sheepish grin, feeling a little embarrassed for being so rude to someone he'd just met. The girl seemed nice enough. She was, as with most of the girls he saw on Beacon's campus, beautiful. At this point, Jaune had to wonder if Beacon was actually a school for supermodels or something. That can't be right...I'm here after all, aren't I?

"I'd asked, have you given any though to who you'd like as a partner?"

No one? 'cause I'm not gonna be here long? "Er, not really. I'll run with it as I go. As long as I don't get that stick up the ass by the name of Weiss, I'll be good with whoever." Oh, and not Yang either. Call me Vomit Boy, will you?

Pyrrha's smile grew. Ah, trying to act nonchalant about it, hm? Let's give you something to look forward to then. "Well, I'm unfamiliar with most people here...perhaps you'd like to become my partner?"

Jaune scratched his chin. "Maybe? I don't think we really get a choice in the matter."

"There is always a choice, Jaune." She placed a hand on his shoulder, willing her blessings upon him. And with this, you and I shall be as one. Our souls will call to each other, and we will show this world my mercy and my blessings.

Whether or not this worked, Jaune was too busy looking back up at the stage, barely registering Pyrrha's hand on his shoulder. Finally, after having waited for what felt like forever, Jaune noticed a white-haired, well dressed and bespectacled man strolling onto the stage, cane in hand. Fucking finally. Took you long enough. Now let's get this over with, shall we?

[Some Time Later…]

Blah Blah Blah. Oh my Oum, you love to hear yourself talk, don't you?! Jaune's patience was wearing thin at what he assumed the half-hour mark. You will now shut up. Now. Now. Now. Shut up now! Why can't I make you shut up with the power of my mind!

"So," Pyrrha whispered, "Given any thought to what I said?"

Jaune's expression mirrored one of that of someone constipated as he continued to concentrate as hard as he could on making Ozpin shut up with the power of his hate. Why are you still talking? Do you speak in nothing but riddles and buzzwords? Yes, I know we're here for excellence! Shut up! Why?!

"Jaune? Um, what are you doing?"

"Trying to make Ozpin shut up with the power of my mind." Jaune whispered back. "Evidently, it isn't working."

Of course it isn't working, you sweet, luscious boy. I'm the Goddess here. "Allow me to try." Pyrrha replied. You can show me your gratitude later. She concentrated on Ozpin and pulled upon her divine essence to silence the old man…

And if you've been paying any attention, this obviously didn't work. Pyrrha might have thought she was a Goddess, but you can think all day of stuff and it wouldn't come true. So instead, both Pyrrha and Jaune sat there, looking almost constipated as they both attempted to silence Ozpin's speech. This, did not go unnoticed by the Headmaster himself, who found himself confused by the two students in the back frowning. Was his speeches really that boring? Maybe they needed to use the bathroom. There was no way Pyrrha Nikos would be trying to shut him up with the power of her mind, right? And certainly not Jaune Arc, son of Alexander The Great and his beautiful wife, Violetta the Crimson Angel, would be trying to shut him up with the power of his mind, right? Still, he had been taking an awful long time… "And with that, students, I am proud to be the first to say, welcome to Beacon!"

Everyone cheered and Jaune sat back, relief in his eyes. "Could you have taken any longer?"

Pyrrha sat back as well, looking smug. "There. He has been silenced."

Jaune blinked. Did she think she did that? Ozpin must have just gotten bored. Or realized that everyone was currently either half asleep or ready to commit first-degree murder. He got up and stretched before giving a half-hearted wave to the redhead who'd been sitting next to him. "Anywho, it was nice to meet you."

Pyrrha nodded, giving her brilliant smile. "I look forward to becoming your partner, Jaune."

Jaune cocked an eyebrow again. "Er, if that occurs, sure."

"Oh, it will." Pyrrha replied with such conviction, that Jaune was seriously wondering if she had some sort of in with the staff. Maybe she was related to Ozpin? Or Tits McGee, that blond woman with the riding crop? What was her name again?

"Sure. Talk to you later..." Jaune wandered off again, feeling a bit strange about the girl now, who had a very odd look about her eyes. He couldn't tell if she was looking tired, or trying to be flirty, but either way, he was already growing tired and wanted to simply grab his stuff, collapse into a bed and try to figure out how the hell he'd get kicked out without anyone finding about his little...skill.

It was this thought that filled Jaune's head as he wandered aimlessly through the hallways of Beacon, letting his feet take him wherever he wanted. So what if he ended up in some forbidden area filled with a teacher's secret sex dungeon. He didn't care, he'd take the expulsion with pride! He'd laugh his way out as they booted him from Beacon! It was freeing, knowing that there was nothing they could do that he didn't want them to do. He was nonpunishable! Didn't Tits McGee have a riding crop? Maybe she has the hidden sex dungeon here in the school. He giggled to himself over his stupid joke, shaking his head. So distracted was he, that he didn't even notice his surroundings until he found himself accidentally bumped into someone, stumbling backwards.

"Oof!" Someone crashed to the floor. Jaune stared down and blinked at the young woman he'd run into. Black hair, black bow and a lovely black and white outfit greeted him, a pair of golden eyes blinking up at him looking upset. "Ow, watch where you're going!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Jaune extended a hand to help her up, and after a moment of hesitation, she clasped his hand with her own and let him help her to her feet. "Really sorry about that, I've just been kind of wandering around." His eyes flickered to her other hand, noticing the book in it. "Oh, Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde? I love that book, although I've always been more partial to the Count of Monty Christo."

The woman's golden eyes widened in surprise. "You've read the classics?"

"Yeah. My parents...er, mother, more like, put me through some...er...brutal training, and I spent a decent amount of time laid up in bed, and all I had to do while resting was read, so..." Jaune shrugged.

"Ouch. Sounds rough." She gave him a very small smile. "What's your favorite genre of books?"

Jaune scratched the back of his head and his face went red for a few moments. "Er...adventure?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" The smile on her face was almost teasing, as was her tone of voice.

"Sorry. Oh, before I forget, I'm Jaune. Jaune Arc." Jaune extended his hand once more in greeting, and the young woman shook his hand.

"Blake Belladona. It's nice to meet you, Jaune."

"Likewise. I'll leave you to your reading, don't want to be a bother." Jaune explained.

"No bother. Thanks for helping me up."

"Anytime." Jaune smiled and nodded, walking away with yet another whistle. If there was one t hing he'd miss when he was inevitably kicked out of Beacon, it would be the people. There were so many nice people, with only a few jerks here and there. Eventually his wandering took him in what he could only describe as a large circle, and found himself walking into the main room, with bunches of new students all currently dressed in their night clothes. Evidently everyone was sleeping in the main room from what he could tell.

"Hey, Jaune!" a cheerful voice called out to him and Jaune turned around to see Ruby approaching him, clutching a pillow. Yang was close behind looking more amused than anything. "Don't tell me you're sleeping in your day clothes!"

Jaune waved his hand dismissively. "Nah, I just was wandering around Beacon and didn't get back until now. This place is...massive. Crazy big. Probably gonna get lost to all my classes..." Jaune muttered, slumping forward.

Ruby simply laughed and patted him on the head. "It's okay Jaune. We can look together!" She pumped her fist, earning a small chuckle from Jaune.

"So, Vomit Boy, did you bring anything interesting to sleep in? I can see you wearing a onesie." Yang smirked.

Jaune rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't be far off the mark, but my folks made me leave it behind..."

Yang's face deadpanned. "Wait, seriously? I was just joking...or are you being sarcastic again?"

"Hey, screw you, my sister made me that onesie!" Jaune snapped, pointing his finger at Yang.

"Woah, calm down there Vomit Boy. Didn't mean to insult your family."

"You said your parents made you leave it behind?" Ruby added.

"Yeah..." Jaune sighed. "Looks like it's an undershirt and boxers for me."

"Let me guess, cartoon characters?" Yang grinned.

"I swear to Oum, I throw up once and I'm suddenly the class idiot..." Jaune murmured irritably.

"Aw, come on, I'm just teasin'. What'd you think of the Headmaster's speech?" Yang rolled her shoulders as she spoke.

"The man loves to hear himself talk." Jaune's tone was still dry as he spoke.

"I think he was nice." Ruby clutched her pillow closer.

"So, saw you flirtin' with the Pyrrha Nikos earlier..." Yang teased, her voice suggestive.

"What? We said only a few words to each other. If that's flirting Yang, then I'm pretty certain seducing you is easier than tying my shoes..." Jaune trailed off with a smirk.

"Hey! I'm very hard to seduce, mister! Hell, I'm the one who seduces!" Yang crossed her arms with a hmph.

"Please refrain from doing so. I'd like to keep what little breakfast I had remaining inside of me, lest your shoes pay the price again." Jaune snarked.

"Are you saying the thought of me trying to seduce you makes you sick?" Yang's eyes narrowed, arms crossing under her prodigious bust.

"No, what I'm saying is...actually, yes." Jaune smirk grew wider. "Yes it does."

Yang cracked her knuckles, a vicious smile widening over her face. "Sorry Ruby, but I'm afraid you're back to square one on making new friends..."

Death Count: 2,033

Author's Note: So there ya go, chapter two finished! Hope you guys enjoyed this! I'll be honest with you all, this is gonna be a crazy ride. As you can tell, not everyone's gonna be in canon. Hopefully 'Goddess' Pyrrha is entertaining enough to you all, and I hope future plans will entertain you further. I also hinted at how Jaune has been killed over 2000 times, but it'll be confirmed later.

As always, please leave reviews!