I do not own RWBY. Banned in three out of the four Kingdoms, it's:

Immortal

Chapter 15: Blood and Thunder! (And Pancakes!)

A cacophony of sound, lights and force erupted all around the four young men and the pirate captain. The HMS Indigo Steel shook with each shot of the Atlesian warship's canons. Sun was running around in circles on the deck of the galleon, pulling at his hair in a panic, Neptune following suit, the two of them creating a comedic scene as they ran in circles. Eventually they messed up their rhythm and ran into each other, falling over. Scarlett was doing his damndest to try keeping the ship on course, but the artillery fire was already starting to damage the ship quite a bit, and any more would have them treading water...or pavement as it were. Even Sage had gotten into things, trying to unfurl the main sail in hopes that an errant wind would put some distance between them and the larger flying vessel.

Through it all, grinning madly, Jaune-er, Yellowbeard stared up at the warship, a mad gleam in his eyes. "Aye, so it appears as though my rival has finally shown his face!" He unsheathed his cutlass and swung it in the air at the ship above. "Come down and fight me like a man, Ironwood!" Yellowbeard called out, punctuating the challenge with a loud, boisterous laugh. Seeing the bravery of their captain, three out of the four members of Team SSSN felt their moral rise, and cheered.

Sage, however, rolled his eyes, tying off the ropes to keep the main sail in place. He'd long given up on trying to get a word in edgewise; circumstances seemed determined to keep him silent. His only goal was to get out of this alive, and preferably without Haven finding out that the four of them were involved in this fiasco. Though, he highly doubted that. He always knew that the other three would be either the death of him, or his career. He sighed and strained against the ropes, tying it off onto the railing before looking back up into the sky.

Shockingly, the warship had stopped firing. The General of Atlas himself wasn't actually taking this seriously, was he? All he had to do was keep firing on the ship and it was only a matter of time before they were sunk- Sage paused. They were on dry land. The sheer ignorance to the laws of physics the boat they were sailing on presented were more than he could handle, and instead of worrying about the now descending airship, could only sit huddled in the corner as the absurdity of the situation finally and fully hit the poor swordsman.

The warship came closer and closer until at last, following the galleon as it made its way out of the residential district and into the dockyards. This had the unintended consequence of allowing the Atlesian warship to pull up alongside the galleon, floating only mere feet above the roads and allowing everyone aboard the HMS Indigo Steel to see upon the deck of the warship. Ironwood was standing in a mirror to Yellowbeard's own style, both men standing at the side of their ships, one leg upon the railing, one arm akimbo with the other one brandishing their trademark weapons. "YELLOWBEARD!" Ironwood's voice thundered out, his artificial arm brandishing his heavy Magnum with little to no care about things such as 'gun safety' and 'the fact that there was a group of younger Beacon students crowded around him.'

Yellowbeard grinned wickedly, waving about his triple bladed cutlass in the general's direction. "So, you've decided to show your cowardly face once more! Couldn't face me alone, could ye? Had to drag yer soldiers into yer mess?"

"Silence you ruffian! I'll take you on myself! These Beacon students are only here to keep your own crew from interfering in our destined duel!" Ironwood cried out, glaring wrathfully at his foe.

"Ha! I don't need me crew to beat you again, Admiral Ironwood!"

Ironwood's brow twitched furiously. "It's General!"

Yellowbeard huffed and rolls his eyes. "Whatever."

As Ironwood began to growl deeply, a voice spoke up from behind him. "Um, sir?" No answer. Pyrrha Nikos spoke up again, her tone confused and off put. "Sir? Wouldn't it be best if we simply all attacked at once? You might be taking an unnecessary risk."

"No! I must fight him alone! You have no idea the sheer skill and power he possesses! I've fallen to him before, but this time...this time will be different! En garde!" WIth a cry, Ironwood leaped off the side of his ship and onto the deck of the Indigo Steel. He fired a shot with his heavy Magnum, but the shot was somehow deflected by the pirate captain's sword.

"Sir!" Scarlett rushed forward, his own cutlass held at the ready, but a hand from Yellowbeard himself stopped him.

"Stay back, ye scallywags! This fight be between me, Captain Ironwood, and no other!" Yellowbeard sneered, swinging the cutlass as he advanced on Ironwood's position.

"It's...General!" Ironwood snapped angrily and rushed forward. He and Yellowbeard met halfway in a flurry of iron fists and cutlass blades, their ringing echoing through the Vale dockyards. While the Beacon Students and Team SSSN watched, General and Captain fought on the deck of the ship, the same pirate metal blaring all around him. Sparks flew from the sheer force of their blows, and as the seconds passed, their movements became faster and faster until they were two blurs clashing against one another. Finally, with a resounding clang that echoed through Vale, the two bounced off of each other and skidded to a stop. "Hmph! You can struggle all you want, Yellowbeard, but the day is mine!"

"Arr! Not so, Commander Ironwood! Ye'll be walkin' the plank before I'm through with ye!" Yellowbeard jeered back, the smile never once dropping from his face.

"It's General!" Ironwood growed angrily back, clenching his artificial fist so tightly that the servos actually began to whine and smoke. With a grunt, the General of Atlas himself rushed forward, fist cocked and ready to bury itself right into the pirate captain's smug smirk.

Meanwhile, the students and Team SSSN all stared incredulously at the two fighting and bickering, unbelieving what they were witnessing. "Maybe Ironwood was right after all…" Nora murmured in surprise as the the two men clashed at blindingly fast speeds.

"Hey!" Sun cried out, waving to Ironwood's allies on the other ship. "Are any of you saucy wenches?"

Ruby tilted her head. "I don't think so!" She cried back, waving good naturedly at the four crew members. "My sister might be a bit saucy though!"

"I'M SAUCY!" A cry from below shouted out. Sun looked over the side to see Blake standing, arms akimbo with a glare on her face. "Now hoist me up!"

"Sorry, can't." Sun replied, shrugging.

"And why not!?" Blake shouted back, stomping her foot.

"Cap'n says you're too saucy." Sun answered back, nodding sagely as though he'd answered an ancient, ages old, riddle.

"Too saucy!? Give me five minutes alone with him, and I'll show him too saucy!" Blake snapped.

Sun looked back to the where the General and Yellowbeard were locking blade and arm and looked back with a wry shrug. "Sorry, can't. He's a bit busy at the moment."

Blake deadpanned. "I wasn't meaning- I was trying to- Oh never mind!" With that, Blake unsheathed Gambol Shroud and hooked it into its kusarigama form, tossing it onto the railing above and using it as a grappling hook to climb up the side of the Indigo Steel.

Sun grimaced and turned back to Yellowbeard and Ironwood. "Erm, Captain?"

"Can't talk!" Yellowbeard grunted, pushing Ironwood back inch by inch. "Too busy thrashing Lieutenant Ironwood!"

"IT'S...GENERAL!" Ironwood growled even louder than before, his right eye developing an obviously unhealthy twitch.

"Who cares?!" Yellowbeard responded before pulling out a pistol from no one knew where and fired it. Despite the pistol obviously being a flintlock in design, the bullet itself slammed into Ironwood, throwing him backward and causing him to drop his Magnum. The General attempted to scramble to grasp it, but Yellowbeard's boot slammed down onto his wrist, and he found himself looking up into the triple bladed cutlass that the pirate wielded.

"You...you'll never get away with this!" Ironwood cried dramatically.

"Ah, but I already have! Sadly for ye, but now, ye walk the plank!" Yellowbeard scoffed. "Boys! Get the plank ready!"

Scarlett quickly rushed to the side of the ship and began to pull out the large plank that was used for punishment while Yellowbeard poked at Ironwood, forcing him to his feet and toward the plank. "You fiend! I can't swim!"

"You should have thought of that before facing me again, Ensign Ironwood!"

"WHY DO I KEEP GOING DOWN IN RANK!?" Ironwood screamed, even as he was forced onto the narrow wooden platform.

On the deck of the warship, Pyrrha looked at Ruby, tilting her head. "Shouldn't we go help him?"

Ruby was too busy weeping dramatically. "Oh brave General Ironwood! He fought so valiantly! To be lost to Davy Jones' locker! It's too sad!"

"Ruby, we're on dry land. He's literally just going to hit the pavement. The worse he'll suffer is some bruises. Maybe a scraped paint job." Ren murmured in response, tilting an eyebrow.

"Renny-bear, it's so sad! He'll sink like a rock!" Nora added, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief that she'd never had before hand. "Lost to us to the briney deep!"

"Nora, it's solid ground. Ironwood will be fine." Ren groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Is there any point in us being here? Yellowbeard seemed perfectly fine fighting Ironwood one on one, and Yellowbeard's crew doesn't seem too concerned about the situation either."

Pyrrha sighed and looked around. "I don't think there is. We should go back to Beacon. Besides, I want to make sure to be there when Jaune gets back. Do you know where he is?"

Ren shook his head. "Nope. He just vanished, but if I know him he's doing alright. He might have gotten into some impromptu cook-off or something."

Pyrrha looked back to the ship and frowned. "The General is...odd."

"You can say that again."

"You'll never get away with this!" Ironwood cried out as he was forced to the end of the plank.

"Any last words, Private Ironwood?"

"STOP MAKING ME GO DOWN IN RANK!" Ironwood screamed in fury.

"Whatever! Off with ye!" With that, Yellowbeard lifted his boot and swiftly kicked Ironwood off the side of the galleon.

"Noooooo!" Ironwood cried as he fell, hitting the ground below with a dull thud. As soon as he did, Ironwood began to flail as though he were sinking in water. " *GASP* Can't...breathe…"

Team SSSN looked over the edge of the ship, frowning. "Dude knows that's pavement, right?" Neptune murmured, scratching his head.

"Oi! We're on th' sea!" Scarlett cried out, pumping his fist.

"Scarlett, as much as I enjoy being Yellowbeard's crewmate, we're on solid ground." Sun added, frowning.

"Quit yer gabbin', ye scallywags! We've got more to plunder! Fire the cannons! Unleash hell!" Yellowbeard yelled, swinging his sword in the air before a thunder roared out from the side of the ship as multiple cannons all fired in a symphony of destruction…

[Vale - Dockyards - Unknown Warehouse]

Swaying back and forth, it was easy to tell that Roman Torchwick was not there. Well, he was there, just not there. In fact, he was never there. It might have been for that reason that the absolutely gorgeous, flawless raven haired woman before him had a look on her face that spoke volumes about how displeased she was. "I gave you an order, Roman. Why have you failed me?"

"Like...whoah...you should like...calm down...Told you already, Little Red Riding Hood was harshing my mellow…" Roman drawled out, taking a large drag of his massive blunt and breathing a cloud of cloying smoke into the woman's face.

Her hand reached out and grasped him tightly by the jaw, lifting his face up and forcing him to drop the blunt from his mouth. "Maybe she wouldn't have gotten the advantage of you if you weren't constantly high!" She twisted his head violently to the side, making Roman wince.

"Aw, not cool…"

"Yo," a voice called out from a nearby series of boxes making a facsimile of a table, "Keep shootin' off your mouth and I'll bust a cap in yo ass." A silver haired boy punctuated his statement by posting with hands outstretched.

"Mercury, have you found another supply of Red Dust?" The woman asked, affixing him with a smoldering amber gaze.

"Don't worry, I got'cha fam." Mercury reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a flat, square case, opening it up to reveal a CD within. "This has got all the fire that you need, hear?"

"You idiot!" a woman with mint green hair snapped, stepping out of the shadows. As she walked by Roman, she grabbed his hat and cane without even looking at them, as though she weren't even aware of what she was doing. She approached Mercury and grabbed his CD from his hand, before then grabbing one of his shoes as well. "Cinder doesn't want your shitty mixtape!"

Mercury frowned. "Fo' shizzle ma nizzle, Em! 'Course she wants it! This shit be lit!"

"Now, now, Emerald. Mercury attempting to offer me his mixtape is all part of my plan." Cinder smirked, sitting down upon a nearby couch in the most seductive manner she could.

"Wait, really?! Cinder, you're such a genius! I can't believe that even something so utterly asinine could be part of your grand scheme!" Emerald cried out, clasping her hands to her chest in glee.

Cinder smirked wider, laughing demurely. "Ah, but you see Emerald, you saying that was all part of my plan."

Emerald's eyes widened further. "What? It was?"

"Man, that shit be tight, fam!" Mercury cried out, posing again with arms crossed.

Cinder laughed again. "Of course. Everything is falling into place. My position will soon be secured, Ozpin will fall, and the power that belongs to me will be mine once again!"

"'Cause...you know...that wasn't vague or anything…" Roman muttered, stumbling toward Emerald to retrieve his things, obviously still pouting about the loss of his last blunt.

With a withering glare, Cinder turned to her stoned minion. "Are you questioning me?"

"No...I would never do that…" Roman muttered, almost falling over without the use of his cane. "Even though you like...wasted a perfectly good blunt…"

Before Cinder could inflict an scathing retort, a sound floated in from outside, coming in through the cracked windows of their warehouse base. It sounded like a song. More specifically, it sounded like something a stereotypical pirate would sing…

When I come back from a mighty quest

I have no need for sleep or rest

I head to the tavern for a drink

And get so drunk I cannot think!

Mercury frowned and stood up, adjusting his baseball cap in reverse. "The hell is that garbage?"

Cinder frowned. "Neo. Go see what's going on outside, and silence it."

Neo, who'd been sitting in the corner of the room attempting to catch the eighth Rattata she'd run into that day in Pokemon Go, stood up and pouted. [Why the hell should I?]

"Neo...like...you should...or Cinder will be all...bitchy and stuff." Roman muttered, finally managing to retrieve his hat from Emerald who'd simply left it on the table in front of Mercury.

Cinder glared at him and slowly rose to her feet, approaching him. "I'm sorry, I don't think I've heard you correctly. Do you want to say that again?"

Higher than anyone had any right to ever be, Roman coughed and with a dumb smile, answered, "Neo should or you'll like...um...be all bitchy and stuff…"

Neo shook her head, deciding that compliance would be easier than dealing with Cinder in a bad mood and walked out of the room to the symphony of thwacks and fwooshes that accompanied the punishment that Cinder seemed to deal out. Mind, the only one of them who'd received that kind of punishment was Roman, but more often than not, he deserved it. The petite girl made her way out of the warehouse and onto the street in front of it, and straight up froze. Slowly, her eyes, wide in disbelief, made their way slowly up the height of the massive galleon that took up most of the road in front of the warehouse, and the Atlesian warship beside it. Had it just been the warship, Neo would have booked it, knowing that the law had finally caught up to her. But the massive pirate ship?

It was then when she heard an oddly familiar voice speaking in the most stereotypical pirate accent she'd ever heard since the time she'd accidentally tuned into a children's show in the middle of a television binge. "Quit yer gabbin', ye scallywags! We've got more to plunder! Fire the cannons! Unleash hell!" The petite mute girl looked up and her eyes widened even further. [Jaune?!]

A second later, a thunderous roar sounded, and Neo was instantly glad she'd followed Cinders orders for once, as the entire warehouse behind her literally exploded. A shower of cannon fire turned the large concrete, brick and steel structure into so much scrap. Neo's jaw dropped and she stared at the now flaming wreckage, her multicolored gaze flickering between the ship, Jaune and the ruins of her former business. She could only stand there, dumfounded, as the crew members aboard the ship began to speak.

"Woo! Direct hit!"

"Yar! Tis be a fine ruin!" The pirate responded merrily.

"Hey!" a female voice shouted. Neo could see what looked to be a raven haired woman climb aboard the ship, frowning deeply. "I demand that you plunder my booty!"

"What the hell be ye doin' on my ship, you overly saucy wench? I'll keelhaul you!" The pirate, who Neo now identified as Jaune, snarled, waving his cutlass in her direction.

The bow-wearing woman froze, her expression going from angry to curious. "Is that an innuendo for something sexual?"

"No!" Jaune snapped. "I'll be draggin' you behind the ship!"

The girl snapped. "Oh yeah?! How the hell can you be called Yellowbeard when you don't have a beard?!"

Jaune laughed. "What the hell be ye talking about? Of course I have a-" Jaune reached up, his hands touching his smooth jawline, and a look of abject horror crossed his face. He shook, stumbling back, face going pale. "It...it can't be…"

"Sir?!" Scarlett stepped forward, reaching toward his captain in concern.

Jaune stumbled until he reached the railing of the Indigo Steel and stared out into space in front of him. Still in the same faux accent as before, Jaune slowly murmured, "The sunset...it be...beautiful…" With that, Jaune fell backwards over the side of the galleon as though mortally wounded.

"CAPTAIN!" Three out of the four members of Team SSSN cried, all rushing forward to try to catch their captain. However, the blond man had suddenly vanished, much to everyone's surprise, with only the sounds of rapidly retreating footsteps sounding being the only clue to anyone's presence.

As the men began to mourn, (Sage only rolling his eyes and already contemplating how he could come up with a plausible alibi for where he was during all of this) Blake was twitching and fuming, her hands clenching and unclenching. Seconds passed into minutes, and with a screech of pure rage, Blake threw her head back. "DAMN IT! PLUNDER MY BOOTY!"

Meanwhile, in the smoldering ruins of the warehouse, four figures dug themselves out of the rubble, coughing and groaning. Roman, the first to break free, had somehow produced another blunt from who knew where and took a long drag. "Like...ouch."

Mercury and Emerald popped up next, Emerald wincing as she freed her leg from a particularly big bit of corrugated steel. "What the hell was that?! Who the hell fires cannons in this day and age?!" She looked up and almost fell over in shock. "Is that a pirate ship?!"

"Wait, seriously fam?!" Mercury scrambled back, eyes wide in shock at the utter absurdity of it all.

Cinder rose last, rising from the dust and ash as though she was utterly unaffected by the random attack. "Don't worry Mercury..." Cinder murmured in the usual mysterious tone of voice she spoke with constantly. "...everything is going according to plan…"

And so the moon rose over the odd tableau, the smoke from the wrecked warehouse rising into the sky and the galleon sitting in front of it, Sun, Neptune and Scarlett weeping while Blake angrily complained about her lack of nookie.

…

Minutes later, the galleon, no longer being powered by the same mysterious essence that gave it the power to travel through could no longer sustain its position, and with the sound of a loud groan, the galleon proceeded to fall over...directly onto the ruins of the warehouse.

CRUNCH!

…

"...All...ow...according to plan…"

A/N: The end of the Yellowbeard Arc! But where is Jaune? Or Neo? Is Cinder really that clever to have predicted everything that has occurred, or is she simply saying she is to look more intelligent and mysterious? Will anyone ever want Mercury's mixtape? Immortal might have been slow in updating, but it's far from over, and the insanity will only continue as the chapters do! Glad to see so many people enjoying such crack-tacular work, and I hope to continue entertaining you!