How was that even possible? They slept together just one time. They barely had a date. How the hell Arizona could possibly fell in love so quickly? She couldn't explain or even understand it, but she felt it. Although Mel was heavenly gorgeous and sweet, and definitely a great kisser, she knew it wasn't right to go forward with her when her mind and heart were elsewhere.
"You okay?" – Mel asked after Arizona remained silent, just leaning her forehead on Mel's.
"Can we sit somewhere?" – Arizona asked, not properly answering the other woman's question.
"Sure. Do you wanna go upstairs? Or maybe a café?" – Mel knew something was wrong.
"Can we go over there? It seems like a nice park" – Arizona pointed to a green area ahead of them.
"Sure" – Mel nodded.
They walked in silence, Arizona battling herself inside for being such an idiot. She was about to let go the chance of being with a good person over some unreasonable feeling she couldn't get rid of. Mel didn't want to pressure her about what was going on. The kiss was consensual and until that moment, they seemed to be in a perfect synch. She couldn't help but think where did she go wrong. Once they arrived at the little park, Arizona headed to a cement bench, gesturing so Mel could sit beside her.
"You know, the first time I laid my eyes on you, that night at the hotel bar, I was in an awe. You're stunning, and you probably are well aware of that" – Arizona held Mel's hand in hers and continued – "But then, once I got to know you a little bit more, I've found myself thinking how great you are. You're sweet and kind, smart but not arrogant, but mostly you're fun. You're fun to be around. God knows how much I miss being surrounded by people just like you"
"I sense there's a 'but' coming soon…" – Mel was slightly emotional, but disguising it.
"I'm so sorry, Mel. You're wonderful. The kiss was amazing. The way you touch my cheeks, with such grace, I mean, you're perfect. But I am in love with someone else, and the worst of it is that is something that won't work out or have any future. I am a hundred percent aware of how stupid I must sound right now, but it's not right to use you that way, when my mind isn't here. You deserve better" – Arizona explained.
Mel didn't say anything for a few seconds, making Arizona anxious.
"Can you please say something? Even if it's calling me bad names" – Arizona asked, and Mel just smiled.
"You know I could never do this. It's ok. I understand and appreciate that you care enough not to use me for a rebound. But I need to tell you something, though. It may seem like I am straight forward and careless, but it's not natural for me to go after someone like that. I don't know where my courage came from this time, with you. I think I just saw the real you, and that's a pretty sight. I don't take things for granted and you ignited something inside of me. I am patient, Arizona. Go figure out your feelings. I don't think I'll go anywhere soon. I am here. I'll be here, if you want someday" – Mel said, putting her whole heart in it.
"Gosh, is it possible that you don't have anything messed up to make things easier for me?" – Arizona joked, making Mel smile too – "Thank you for these words. I guess I don't deserve them, but I truly appreciate it. I don't know about the future and I don't have any guarantees, but if something changes inside of me, I will remember this. I'm really sorry that I'm doing this on your birthday. I feel terrible" – Arizona said, touching Mel's hands.
"What are you going to do now?" – Mel asked.
"I'm gonna rent a car and drive back to Seattle. I'm sorry I've ruined your day" – Arizona apologized.
"You didn't. I mean, a little bit by dismissing me" – Mel teased – "But I'm glad I've got to spend this morning getting to know you. It only assured me of how much you worth. But I meant what are you going to do with your feelings?"
"Nothing, I guess… there's nothing to do really" – Arizona said, a little embarrassed.
"Wait a minute: you're dismissing me and you're not going to even try to tell the woman you love that you're in love with her? I cannot accept this!" – Mel teased her.
"Believe me, it's really complicated. I really wish this could just disappear" – Arizona vented.
"Disappear? Your feelings? They're real, Arizona. It's not fair to invalidate them. Uncomplicate things. That's your life we're talking about" – Mel insisted.
"But I don't know how to uncomplicate things!" – Arizona exclaimed.
"Arizona Robbins: you can operate on babies that aren't even born yet. I'm pretty sure you can do whatever you want. You've got to try, at least" – Mel said.
Arizona was receiving love advice from the woman she just dismissed. She was confused, to say the least. Mel seemed much more mature than Arizona herself. How long was she going to live with that regret eating her alive for not trying to set things right with Amelia? She rented a car and drove all the way back to Seattle, thinking along the way what she was going to do: pack her things and leave to NYC for good, or tell the woman she was in love with how she feels?