5 - Why Me

Rukawa Kaede - POV

Everything feels numb.

Looking at his motionless body, I can't stop wondering why.

Why me? Why me, of all people you could choose to hold your life in their hands, why me? Someone who had never good connection with other people. And some of them think of me as a cold bastard guy. But still, why me?

It never ceases to amaze me how his perfect complexion is still soft and even. Any normal person would look horrendous at this point. Their hair would be disheveled around their head, their lips pale and cracked, body an empty vessel.

Akira doesn't look like that. His dark hair splayed around him like a halo reminding me just how perfect he actually is. His lips are still full, a little chapped, but still welcoming. His brows are laid perfectly straight and effortlessly groomed above his resting eyes.

It made me wonder if he looked the same to everyone else, or if my love for this boy made me blind to reality. It couldn't possibly. Akira has always been loved by all. He was the boy that girls giggled about in the back of the classroom and the nice handsome young man that all guys wanted to be or be friends with.

It always made me feel out of place. As he would hook his strong arm around my narrow shoulders after school, ready to walk home. I felt the stares of others. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what they were always thinking, it was obvious. Also, I'd heard more than enough whispered insults floating through the air as we'd pass by our peers.

'What the hell is Sendoh doing with Rukawa?'

'Sendoh and Rukawa are best friend? Of all people? The cold ice bastard guy?'

'Rukawa never give his attention to the girls or boys. But why he looks comfortable with Sendoh?

'Why would've thought the nice guy like Sendoh would be friend with snobby Rukawa?'

I understood their view, though. Why would someone so perfect and so nice possibly want to be friends with me? What did he have to gain? Nothing, I couldn't give him anything.

The only thing I had to offer was a promise that I'd always be there for him, day or night, no matter what. He'd promised me the same, and that meant everything. The Sendoh Akira that others knew was still the sweet, cheeky, loving one that I did too. He was always himself, always real.

All because I helped him walk to the nurse's office that one day after he'd gotten into a brawl, I thought he felt indebted to me. I hated it. I did what I did because it was the right thing to do. I didn't know who started the fight at the time, but it didn't matter. Mitsui Hisashi was the biggest asshole in the grade, and everyone knew it. He picked fights for fun, to get a rise out of people. It didn't surprise me when I found out later on that he was the one who'd started it that day. I had a fight with him before, and he gave up to me because he was powerless to fight any longer. But with Akira, the story was different. He didn't really know how to fight, but still, Mitsui challenged him. And Akira accepted that challenges. That was mistaken decision.

In a selfish way, I'm thankful for that. Sure, I never want Akira to be in pain and I would never want him to go through any inconveniences, but that day is what brought us together.

If I hadn't escaped my classes for sleeping; if I hadn't seen a group of boys running away as soon as they saw me coming, I might not have ever spoken to him.

--flashback--

I put my hands in my pockets while walking nonchalant, as I rounded the corner to on the roof of the building. It was my place for taking a nap.

Just as I'd stepped into the roof, my ears were bombarded with shouts and disgruntled groans of discomfort. I kept moving my feet to see that. Not the ones who like to interupt, but they may be a nuisance to my sleep.

Sunlight flooded on the rooftops, leaving the group of boys a mass of shadows. Their features blurry.

I stared as fists flew through the air, clashing into each other and pulling and yanking on shirts and neck ties. I couldn't tell how long the fight had been going on, and I'm too lazy to take out. This is not my business, so I think I should leave. But as I took a step backwards to walk away from the scene, my foot kicked a pebble.

I cursed silently. Suddenly, as I expected, the group of boys immediately looked at my direction. They're all stared at me like them seen a ghost. I kept my poker face on.

"Shit. It's Rukawa!" One of them exclaimed, all confidence gone and worry thick in his voice before they scattered. "Rukawa is here! Let's go!" As soon as their body's could no longer be seen, I was about to turn and leave. Now I'm on peace to sleep. I was about to turn my heel when I noticed something slumped against the wall. I took one step closer, trying to analyze what it was.

Then, a struggled cough wheezed out from the form against the brick wall, and I gasped, realizing that it was surely a person.

Before I could think twice, I started toward the person. As I came to a halt in front of the person, my breath caught in my throat. Seeing him up close, I vaguely recognized him. He transferred to my homeroom class this semester. He was always surrounded by friends. His name? I couldn't remember. All of them I called doaho. Maybe he's the one, too.

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't just stand there and continue to stare at him. I also couldn't just walk away and pretended like he wasn't there, like he wasn't hurt.

It was then when he raised his head, his narrow eyes meeting my own large around ones. He was about to speak but doubled over in pain, grasping his side.

"Are you okay?" My eyes were concern, looking everywhere from his slightly bloodied face, already forming bruises under his eye and jaw, and his side that he was holding, "you don't look so good..." my obvious remark seemed to make him chuckle slightly, head still lowered exhaustedly.

He didn't answer right away, eyes squeezed shut as he took a deep breath before he looked back up at me, "I'm fine." He stubbornly looked back down to the dirty concrete beneath us and put a bloodied palm against it, pushing himself up into a squat and groaning as he stood to his full height.

We were only fifteen, but we both are taller. But he's more taller few inches than me. His build was lean, but already slightly muscular. His hair was weird, spiky styled. His complexion was slightly tanner than my own but soft and creamy like the sun had kissed him just enough to grant him some color. And I've noticed, he had a pair of blue eyes. Same with me, but more darker than me.

"If you don't know how to fight, don't fight." I started, looking at him as the chilly wind blew past us and through our hair. "let me take you to the nurse's office." He huffed, closing his eyes for a moment and running a hand down his face before looking down at where my arm was secured around his waist helping him carry his weight.

He nodded, and took the first step back to inside. The first few movements were clumsy and left us both slightly embarrassed. When he'd start to lose his balance, his grip tightened around my shoulder, tinting my cheeks pink and willing that it was simply the hot weather.

"I'm Akira," he offered into the quiet space around us as we neared the entryway of the student administration office, holding the heavy mahogany door ajar just enough for us to both squeeze through, "Sendoh Akira." His hand that wasn't clasped around my shoulder reached out in front of us, open and waiting for me to meet him in the middle.

"Rukawa Kaede," I replied, grasping his hand with my own.

In that instant, his eyes softened, and his lips parted, flourishing into a smile brighter than any star I'd ever seen. Even as his face was a mess, and his voice was nothing more than a tired rasp, he shone like a beacon of light in a world full of darkness. I felt my own lips start to smile along my face, a flush spreading high across my cheekbones.

Probably from the hot weather.

"Nice to meet you, Kae-Chan." The sudden, new asshole nickname made my brows furrowed, confusion written along my face. I wasn't the one who like to had a friends, and I'm okay with that. And no ones previously who dared to give me nickname like that. He laughed softly, clapping me on the back lightly before nodding his head in the direction of nurse's office, "come on." his smile still shone bright and soft all at once, "Mind helping me walk just a few more steps?"

As we walked into the nurse's office, his smile never completely faded. Even as the head nurse walked up to us, face twisted in horror, it never fell off his face.

His smile seemed to be contagious, the nurse looking puzzled as to how he was smiling when he was in such condition, but I sighed and couldn't help as my own lips seemed to turn upwards as well.

I don't know if he just smiled to put on a strong face or if he was always like this. Either way, there's a comfort behind it that makes me feel like it doesn't matter how badly hurt he ever gets, he'll just keep on smiling.