"Sorry we can't stay too long today," Adriana said to the Joker as she held Arsenio. "My husband will probably be back home soon. We'll probably stay 30 minutes."
The Joker looked at Arsenio who was looking up at Adriana.
"Coh Daddy?" Arsenio said to Adriana.
"Oh...well he's probably busy right now.." Adriana replied to Arsenio who began to pout.
"What did he say?" the Joker asked.
"He wants to talk to his dad," Adriana explained.
"Yah! Coh Daddy!" Arsenio said and his eyes lit up.
"Um..okay...just for a moment okay?" Adriana said, unable to say no. The child was too adorable.
"Kay!" Arsenio replied and the Joker wondered if he could ever get used to seeing such a small person, barely a year old, able to speak, understand and communicate.
Adriana held him with one arm and pulled out her phone with the other and dialed Bruce's number.
"Hello?" Adriana heard Bruce say. His voice sounded a bit shaken, something she was not used to hearing.
"Sweetheart is everything okay?" Adriana asked.
"Yes," Bruce replied. "I'm just on the road right now."
Bruce was leaving Sidi's house. He still was trying to digest the words that she had said to him. She had called Arsenio the product of love.
"Are you on your way home?" she asked.
"No, just...going back to the office," he said. "I'll be back before seven."
"Okay," Adriana said, wondering what was wrong with him. "We were just calling because your son wants to talk to you."
"Oh-" Adriana heard Bruce say and she could hear with the single syllable his whole attitude changed. He went from sounding stressed to happy. "Put him on, love."
Adriana looked at the Joker for a second before putting the phone on speaker.
"Arsenio, are you there?" Bruce asked.
"Daddy!" Arsenio said cheerfully.
The Joker watched the boy's enthusiasm as soon as he heard Bruce's voice.
"Hi, little man," Bruce said.
It then occurred to the Joker that this was the sound of the Batman's voice. His true voice. He had heard it once before. He and Adriana were hiding in a closet in Dr. Kapoor's office and overheard Bruce ask Dr. Kapoor to lie for him about his weight loss. Adriana was upset and worried. Later she told the Joker that Bruce was merely suffering the side effects of an experimental steroid, which the Joker did not believe for one second. Bruce Wayne did not seem to be a bad person, but he was wealthy, and the Joker saw the wealthy as professional liars. Maybe he had a drug habit other than steroids.
"Hi," Arsenio said. "Daddy go home!"
"You want me to go home?" Bruce asked.
"Go home!" Arsenio said again cheerfully.
"Soon, precious," Bruce said. "I just need to finish up some work."
"Okeeee," Arsenio said and leaned his head against Adriana's chest.
"Aren't you home, Seni?" Bruce asked. "Since you're already there, you can say 'come home' to me. If you weren't there, you'd say go home."
Arsenio quietly contemplated Bruce's words and Adriana could see he was slightly confused since even though technically they were in the building, they were not at home in their penthouse. But Arsenio understood Bruce's grammar correction.
"Daddy coh home?" Arsenio said.
"Good job," Bruce said. "My smart boy."
"Daddy loffuuu!" Arsenio said and reached for the phone.
"I love you too," Bruce said.
"We'll see you when you get back, love you," Adriana said to Bruce.
"See you soon," Bruce said to her. "I love you."
Adriana ended the call and looked at the Joker.
"He's very attached to his father," the Joker noticed.
"Oh yes," Adriana said and smiled.
She looked down as a notification came through her phone. She opened the app, Shade.
"Oh, shit," Adriana said. "I...have to go. Actually, this shouldn't take long."
"What?" the Joker asked with confusion as Adriana began to put Arsenio into his arms.
"Vigilantism," Adriana said hurriedly. "Ten minutes max."
"You want me to-" the Joker asked.
"Yes, I think you can handle watching him for ten minutes, I'll be right back I promise!" she said and made her way to the door.
"Mommy!" Arsenio called out as she darted out the door.
"Sweetie, I'll be right back!" Adriana said turning around, hearing the concern in his voice. "Okay, I have to go-"
"Mommy!" Arsenio said again to her.
"What? Do you want me to take you back up to Evelyn?" Adriana asked, wondering if he didn't want to stay with the Joker.
"No," Arsenio answered.
"Then what is it baby?" Adriana said, trying to sound calm even though she was rushing.
"Mommy say bawoh," Arsenio said as the Joker held him.
"Huh?" Adriana said confused. "I didn't say a bad word."
"Bawoh," Arsenio said again.
"I didn't!" Adriana said and looked at the Joker. "Did I?"
"Yes," the Joker said plainly.
"Oh...I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to," Adriana said to Arsenio and kissed him.
"Ohhh," Arsenio said. "Okee bye mommy!"
"Ok bye!" Adriana said and dashed out the door.
Once Adriana was gone, the Joker realized that he felt awkward. He had never felt awkward before in his life, as far as he could remember. He didn't know what to do with a child or how to take care of one.
"So...what do I do with you?" the Joker asked Arsenio.
"Boh!" Arsenio said and the Joker noticed that he was getting better at understanding the child's speech. "Peese!"
"Gotcha," the Joker said and took the baby to play with the enormous blue ball in the gym.
It was surprisingly easy to take care of the little boy while Adriana was away. The Joker just followed whatever Arsenio wanted to do. He wanted to play with the ball, and then a few smaller ones. After that he wanted to go through the gym facility cabinets. He was able to stand and walk longer and was very curious and wanted to get into things. The Joker followed behind, putting back exercise bands and yoga blocks that the baby pulled out of place in his adventure through the cabinets.
The Joker looked at the clock and saw that Adriana was late. It had been almost twenty minutes. Once he looked back the baby, he saw an expression on his face that he knew from memory represented that he was getting hungry. A slight agitation.
"Are you hungry?" the Joker asked.
"Yah!" Arsenio said, almost whining. He reached his arms up towards the Joker who picked him up again.
"What do small people your age eat?" the Joker asked. "There's milk in the fridge. Can you drink from a cup? Cold milk?"
Arsenio looked like he didn't want to answer questions. He wanted a snack.
"We have...some fish too...cereal...pasta...shrimp...eggs-" the Joker began to name random things he knew where available to appease the baby.
"Egggg!" Arsenio said happily.
"Okay," the Joker said relieved.
They went to the kitchen area and the Joker sat the baby down on the couch that was against the wall.
"Don't uh...move or fall or anything," the Joker said. "You mother would kill me."
Arsenio laughed.
The Joker smiled at him and went over to the cook the eggs. He put butter into a pan and waited for it to melt. The Joker thought he was a decent cook until Adriana told him that he wasn't and showed him her way of making a few things. She used a lot of butter with her eggs and a splash of milk. He followed what he had been taught by her and though he did exactly as he was shown, wondered if the child would not like it, or would spit it out.
"Do you want salt? Pepper?" the Joker asked Arsenio who was pulling at the small strings on his tiny shoes.
Arsenio shook his head no.
"Bland it is," the Joker said to himself and put the eggs onto a plate.
He went over to the couch and sat down.
"We have a spoon, which is strange for eggs, but the fork looked dangerous," the Joker said. "Your mouth is small."
The baby seemed to be paying no attention as he practically climbed onto his legs.
"It's hot," the Joker said.
"Booow!" Arsenio said and began to blow at the food.
"Right," the Joker said and placed a small amount of the eggs onto the edge of the spoon and blew at it.
He placed the first bite into the baby's mouth, again feeling a sense of awkwardness and nerves. But instead of spitting out or rejected the eggs, which the Joker was overly nervous about, he simply chewed and swallowed and opened his mouth again for more. He didn't eat much, the equivalent of a third of an egg, before the Joker could see his hunger agitation dissapear.
After eating Arsenio yawned and looked sleepy.
"You tired?" the Joker asked.
"No!" Arsenio said and the Joker could clearly see the boy was about to fall asleep.
"You are," the Joker said and the baby leaned over, fighting sleep. "Don't move-"
The Joker stood up and began to move a shelved drawer, slightly smaller than the couch, over to the edge of where the baby was sitting.
"So you don't roll over in your sleep and fall on the floor," the Joker explained.
"No seeep.." Arsenio said drowsily before laying down.
"Whatever you say," the Joker said and moved a pillow over to his head.
After watching the baby sleep for five minutes, Adriana returned.
"Sorry, sorry, I'm here!" Adriana said as she came in. "Things got crazy-"
She arrived to the Joker on the couch with a drawer next to him and a finger over his lips. Quiet.
She approached them quietly and saw Arsenio asleep. For a moment they both looked down at the baby together and then they quietly looked at each other.
"Thanks..." Adriana whispered to break the silence. "For watching him."
The Joker looked at her in silence. Adriana looked into his eyes and felt happy. This unexpected peaceful and beautiful moment filled her with gratitude. Without thinking, she felt her hand move forward and she touched the Joker lovingly on the cheek . He didn't break eye contact.
He gave her a few seconds before he reached up gently taking her hand and moving it down away from his face. He blinked once and looked away.
Adriana swallowed and looked away too. She then looked down and saw Arsenio was awake and looking up at them.
"Mommy," he said sleepily.
Adriana wondered how long he had been awake and looking.
"Hi sweetie, ready to go home?" she asked.
Arsenio closed his eyes and stretched his arms out towards her and she picked him up.
"Thanks again," Adriana said as she held her son close.
"No problem," the Joker said to her before they left.