Sometimes meeting an icon, a demigod no less, can be interesting and perhaps not what one expects. It was under dire circumstances the first time I met Hercules and Iolaus. Who knew it would be my fellow sidekick I would be most inspired by.
I know this is a sore subject for both of us. I know this because Xena decided now was the best time for drills. She's not fooling me. It has been a long time since I wasn't able to see through whatever excuse she used to avoid emotions.
For Xena, fighting for the greater good alongside Hercules brought up bad memories. While it was the demigod who had started the warrior princess on her road to doing good, there was the dark side to their relationship.
Like attempting to turn Iolaus against Hercules. And having succeeded for a while. I didn't know it at the time, but Hercules and Xena had had a more intimate connection. And the games she had played with Iolaus' heart had hurt the caring man deeper than I could have foreseen.
Even now, knowing what happened in the past, I have trouble placing myself in Xena's boots. How would it have felt coming across the demigod who changed you? Who you'd been more than friends with?
And to see the man you so cruelly used falling for your best friend, who you had hidden feelings for. I don't think I can grasp what our adventure really meant to the other. What path it was leading us towards.
I think every encounter I had with a man who seemed to care for me opened the door more for me to realize exactly what I was building with Xena. And the story I related to Iolaus…How could I have been so blind for so long?
I guess it's because I was young. It's because there was an expectation of me. As there is of us all. To marry, settle down and have kids. And while the normality is between men and women, it wasn't how it had to be.
So why? Perhaps it's because there's a path to each of our destinies. Sometimes we don't know the twists and turns. It's not up to us to decide when something happens. And sometimes we are too terrified to take a chance. To do what is in our hearts. And sometimes we take the easy way out. Or what seems like the easy way out.
So meeting with Hercules and Iolaus could have been so different. But with Xena suffering from guilt over how she treated both and me meeting an icon…We never were true to ourselves. And it took us much longer for the feelings that were growing by the day to come to the surface…
Prometheus
It was a great way to start the day. Being awakened by some kind of dream, only to discover one had missed a great deal of action. To have missed once again the warrior princess in action. And to be summoned to help save someone's life.
It was so like Xena. Attempting to save the life of someone who would have gladly taken hers. It could have been because of money. Or even to brag they were the one to end the warrior princess' life.
It was funny, in a way, to tell Xena once again she was a good person. Gabrielle knew her warrior princess would never accept that. That she would continue to make up for her past sins. That's why every so often, the bard needed to remind her best friend what a truly good person she was.
The storm was upon them by the time they made it to the inn. Xena was right, the man was no friend of theirs. But they would not allow him to die. They would also help the others that seemed to be struggling with their health.
It happened so suddenly. Just like the man Xena had been attempting to save and the one struggling with an untold illness had died. Was Xena right? Was something wrong? Or was it merely a deathly coincidence both died nearly at the same time.
The sound nearly terrified Gabrielle. It was a wailing like no other. Prometheus was screaming? Was he in trouble? If so, it would explain a great deal. People dying. Losing the gift to heal one's self and the gift of fire could be dire for mortals.
Xena was being cryptic once again. There was more going on than merely visiting the particular oracle. Why? Hadn't they been through enough already? Didn't the warrior princess trust the bard?
At least Xena had said friend. But there were so many friends Gabrielle didn't know. And once again remain until nightfall. It wouldn't be safe. Did Xena really think anywhere was truly safe when she wasn't around? When she was around?
It seemed like an eternity for Xena to return. There were so many thoughts that rushed through Gabrielle's mind. She had trouble focusing on any of them. While the beginnings of a story were already taking shape, she was too worried about what her best friend was facing.
Not that Gabrielle didn't have faith in her warrior princess. It was the fact that one day, we all face something we can't handle. Whether it be alone or together, there was a limit to the things we can do.
Never a doubt? That wasn't exactly true. If only because, no matter how good one is, there is always someone out there better. Or luckier. But overall, Gabrielle did have faith in her warrior princess.
What would Gabrielle do if something ever happened to Xena? It wasn't something the bard cared to dwell on. The logical thing would be to become a traveling bard. Even without schooling, it was something Gabrielle could probably make a living with. But Athens would be the best place to learn.
The salesman was definitely a salesman. Part of Gabrielle had wanted to see what goods he had to sell. But she knew there was something more important. And Xena insisted on finding the cave of Hephaestus.
It must be important. The man continued to push his goods and Xena continued to ask. Gabrielle wouldn't want to be the stranger when her best friend said it was the last time she was going to ask.
Stay here? Gabrielle sighed. She knew better than to ask once again to go with Xena. But remaining with the pesky salesman? Whose goods were so blatantly fakes…It was going to be a long wait.
And then he walked in. A stranger looking for Hercules. Not knowing his name, Gabrielle knew he could be someone important. And possibly she could gain information for when Xena returned.
Best friend? Hmm. Gabrielle could not only maybe gain information Xena needed, but find out what it was like to be the sidekick to someone so powerful. While Xena wasn't a demigod, she was an amazing fighter who would do anything for anyone.
Helping? Gabrielle always wanted to learn to fight. While she didn't want to be harmed or make Xena worry even more, wouldn't being able to fight be even better than standing on the sidelines and merely writing about their adventures together.
Definitely something had happened between Xena and Iolaus. While Gabrielle had heard some of the tale, it wasn't like witnessing it. How much of it was truths? How much of it was lies? Would she ever know the entire story?
Not want him with them just because Iolaus knows Hercules? Gabrielle was more confused than ever. The demigod was one of the good guys. Shouldn't they be seeking his help instead of avoiding him?
Hearing the tale of Xena's betrayal caused Gabrielle to…What? The bard had known there was quite the history. But causing Iolaus to love her, merely so she could dispose of Hercules…
And the demigod. What did Hercules think of the warrior princess now? Was it positively? After all, Xena had dedicated herself to the greater good since they departed. Sure, there were a few bumps along the way.
And the so called girl talk hastily turned to a fight. Gabrielle remained out of the way. Surprised when Hercules and Iolaus joined in the fray. While she was glad they had arrived when they had, she also felt upset she couldn't help.
The final piece of the puzzle. The sword Xena had risked to obtain was also deadly to the person who struck the blow. Gabrielle now knew why Xena hadn't wanted Hercules involved. The warrior princess would think the world would be better with the demigod than herself.
Gabrielle was glad that the demigod's gauntlets were made of the same material as the sword and therefore able to deflect it, without Hercules being harmed. But she'd seen what had happened to the man who had struck the blow.
It hit Gabrielle like a ton of bricks. Hercules and Xena would both argue over striking the blow. Not because either wanted the glory. It was because they both were into self-sacrifice. Both thinking the world would be better with the other remaining in it.
At least Hercules had agreed with Gabrielle. They needed to work together. And while they traveled, this would be the best time for personal stories. But just like Xena, the demigod rebuffed the attention. Instead, it was up to Iolaus who also asked for a moment of time.
Gabrielle attempted to hear what Xena and Hercules were speaking of, but they were too far away. Besides, Iolaus probably had many tales to tell. If she could get him to open up. He seemed more reserved than he had when they had first met.
Instead of climbing the mountain, Hercules knew of caves. It would be, hopefully, easier to traverse. The thought the stories had come directly from Zeus had Gabrielle excited. First, she had met a demigod. Now she was hearing firsthand about the king of the gods.
But then Hercules became Xena. Gabrielle was a bit frustrated as neither hero was talkative. But she had Iolaus still to speak with. But there was something wrong. Her first instincts were to tell Xena and Hercules. But Iolaus was right, in a way. There was no helping him until Prometheus was free.
And the first trap. Gabrielle was so grateful for the demigod's strength. Though knowing Xena, she would have discovered a way to save them all. It was what she did. It's what the bard now expected of her.
And it was beyond obvious when Iolaus tried to run. It was time to come clean. Gabrielle knew he hated it. More so because it was time to part ways. She would remain with Iolaus, while the two heroes continued on to their destiny.
It wasn't exactly an embrace, but it was more than Gabrielle normally received when she remained behind. Was it because it could be the final time she saw Xena? The thought caused the bard to become ill. Yet, she had to remain strong. She and Iolaus would survive. But would it be her best friend or Hercules joining them?
Proud to have known Xena. Gabrielle understood completely. Yet it was different because Iolaus had witnessed the darkness himself. Perhaps, that's why it was so much more when he uttered those words.
Letting down her guard a moment, Gabrielle couldn't help but wonder what it was Xena saw in her. Was it the doom that loomed? Or was it the way they had actually shown public displays of affection?
Relating of the story, Gabrielle wondered who she was thinking of. She was finding herself fond of Iolaus. Fonder than she had any of the other men who had entered her life. But it was Xena who affected her on an all-around basis more than anyone.
And finally, all was right with the world. Gabrielle had been nervous about saying goodbye to Iolaus. Once again, she wanted to know if it was him or Xena she had been thinking. But when he had not remembered her tale…
The kiss was sweet. It was Gabrielle's first true kiss. Yes, she had kissed Perdicus. But it was different with Iolaus. Was it because he hadn't grown up with her and they had not been betrothed?
One last look. Gabrielle couldn't help but glance one more time at Hercules and Iolaus. While it had been interesting meeting the demigod, it had been so much more meeting Iolaus. But how did it compare with her growing feelings for Xena?
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Sometimes anticipation could be considered a good thing. And there was a part of Xena that would always love the planning and the fulfillment of such a plan. But with Gabrielle innocently sleeping, unaware of what was happening, it was slightly different.
Still, watching the idiot slaughter their melon had been fun. But it was time to get down to business. It was time to make certain these idiots never attempted to claim whatever bounty was on Xena's head.
The fight had been a good one. While Xena had wanted the men jailed, death seemed to follow. But if she could save even the one man who had attacked her, she would. But she needed her bard's help.
In the middle of the best dream? Xena's mind wandered to what it could mean. She struggled not to think about it, but for a millisecond she couldn't help but think those thoughts that were dangerous.
Luckily for them both, Gabrielle was able to recover. Xena was grateful she had something to distract her from the thoughts of a most pleasant dream. There would be time for that. Later. Even if it was something that could never be.
It was something Xena was still coming to terms with. The fact she was a good person. Early on, it was only because Gabrielle saw her that way. Now? Slowly, even the warrior princess could grudgingly admit she was at least on the path to becoming a decent person.
The travel to the inn was interesting. It always was when having to tend a wounded person. Even more interesting when they were your sworn enemy. Even for someone who was attempting to fight for the greater good.
The inn was crowded. More crowded than Xena had anticipated. The fact there was another who was ailing didn't escape her senses. Of course, the innkeeper referring to his place as a hospital helped.
And just like that, both Xena's enemy and the innocent young kid were gone. It made no sense. Especially since the treatment Xena had used had saved countless lives. And to die from a simple cold?
It all made sense as soon as Xena heard the screams. Someone had Prometheus bound. It would explain the way the two patients had died when normally the human body could heal itself.
How did Xena know? It wasn't something she wished to speak of. It was of a painful time in her history. Hercules had not only given her a nudge onto the path of good, he had shown her what love could be like.
Was Xena ever in love with Hercules? No. There had only been one man who she had even come close to loving. He been a part of her past, but could never be a part of her future. Not only because he wasn't alive. Because her true love, soulmate was her traveling companion.
And it was Hercules who had informed Xena where to go if anything ever happened to Prometheus. It had meant so much to the warrior princess when the demigod had trusted her with such momentous information.
As far as quests were, Xena wasn't certain what to think of it. First, there was the dancing. Then there was the simple task of retrieving the tablet. There was the pesky possibility of losing a hand. But it still wasn't like anything she'd ever imagined.
The sword could break the chains. But there was a price to be paid. There was always a price to be paid. Xena knew it wouldn't be long before Hercules was in the picture. He had to in an attempt to save humanity. No matter the cost, she would find a way to strike the blow to free Prometheus.
So Xena had to make a difficult decision regarding Gabrielle. If she were to strike the blow, it would leave her bard all alone. So she had to ask what Gabrielle would do. And it made sense. Xena would do whatever it took to make certain Gabrielle not only survived but strived.
Depressing. The very thought of leaving the bard all alone. But Xena knew it was a very real possibility. For now, she needed to focus on retrieving the sword. She would need information.
And information was not easily given by the annoying salesman. It had taken threats, as usual, to gain the man's attention. Now for the trip alone. It was far too dangerous for the bard to be involved.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Xena nearly fell a time or two as she ventured to where she needed to be. The sword. Hopefully she would be able to free Prometheus. Already, Hera's minions had been in her way. The obstacles would only grow.
Including an old friend. Hercules wanted the sword. Not because he needed to be the hero. But because he would, like Xena, sacrifice himself for the greater good. But a demigod was needed. Unlike a former warlord weakly attempting to make up for her past sins.
It worked to Xena's advantage her friend wouldn't fight her. For both of them, a scratch at this point in time could be fatal. So as the warrior princess had told him, he needed to worry about himself.
Iolaus. Xena should have known if Hercules was around, his best friend wouldn't be far away. As much as she and Gabrielle were a team, so were the demigod and the man with a golden heart.
A history? Was that really anyway to describe what Xena and Iolaus shared? Like what she and Hercules shared? For now, it would have to pacify Gabrielle as they continued on their necessary quest.
Relating what had happened was…Xena sighed. Still in love? No. Iolaus' love hastily turned to hate. Which the warrior princess could easily understand. Had the hate turned to something else? Xena didn't necessarily want to know.
What about Hercules? Xena didn't want to think about his feelings for her. It was twofold. But mostly it was because of the love she knew she had for Gabrielle. But would never act upon. Never…?
And thankfully Xena sensed something. It was just as Gabrielle wanted to continue with their girl talk. Not having sisters growing up, a mother who worked herself nearly to death and mostly male friends, there had never been a need for girl talk.
And just when it seemed even Xena was overmatched, he just had to show up. And the blow that nearly was meant for her was deflected by the gauntlet. Luckily, it was made of the same material as the sword. Unluckily, it was now clear exactly what was instore for the one who struck the blow.
Poor Gabrielle. It wasn't the way Xena had wanted her to realize it was a suicide mission. The warrior princess knew her bard would be resistant for her to be the one to strike the blow. But it wasn't that simple. For if it came down to not wanting to leave Gabrielle behind…
One thing was certain, Gabrielle was right. At least until the time came to strike the final blow, Xena must work with both Hercules and Iolaus. When it came time, it would be a different story.
And it began. Before they could even begin the next leg of the quest, Gabrielle was attempting to get to know Hercules. Or was it gain new tales for her scrolls? Partly, Xena was jealous. But mostly, she was relieved not to be the subject of one of Gabrielle's tall tales.
No matter who it was, Xena was uncomfortable with the thought of being a hero or a good person. While she was glad Hercules had heard of some of her deeds, nothing could make up for what she had done over the years.
Xena would not stop in attempting to regain possession of the sword. As she argued, the world needed Hercules. The hope he instilled in people was as important as the deeds he did. For the battles he fought.
Lead with your heart? Even though Xena had asked what it meant, she knew. Hercules still cared a great deal for her. Was there the possibility that he was in love with her? The comment about doing anything to prevent her death reinforced that fact.
Once again, Xena was glad it was Hercules being grilled. It gave her time to contemplate exactly how she was to gain access to the sword, without harming the demigod too badly. And of course, there was her potential death…
There was also something between Gabrielle and Iolaus. The way Hercules kept deflecting so that it was his traveling companion speaking with Xena's bard. Would something romantic evolve?
It took nearly being killed for Gabrielle to finally share that Iolaus was hurt. Xena could understand. It was something her bard would attempt to do. Hades, it was something the warrior princess would do. Fight through whatever injury, all for the greater good.
Iolaus was so much like Gabrielle. Xena had to keep from shaking her head as he attempted to say he could continue to fight. Gabrielle's voice was echoing in her head. About teaching her to fight. Did she really want her bard to be like Iolaus?
Gabrielle volunteering to stay behind was anything but surprising. The bard would sacrifice herself just as readily as Xena and Hercules. But the plea. It was nearly too much. The warrior princess understood. If anything happened to her bard…
And saying goodbye. It hadn't happened yet where one or the other left. Yes, Gabrielle had remained in safety at times. This time was different as there was a real chance the warrior princess might never be seen again.
How Xena had wanted to say and do more than what she had. 'I love you' would have been unbearable. Did Gabrielle realize exactly how the warrior princess was beginning to feel? Would knowing cause even greater aching?
The exchange with Hercules…While Xena had been grateful she could say she was thankful for learning to live again, discovering it was she who had allowed Hercules to possibly love again was nearly too much. Leaving it at being lucky to have known one another was enough. Hopefully.
Of course Xena wouldn't stop trying. Especially now that it was direr than ever. The gift of healing was gone. Now the gift of fire had been extinguished. It wouldn't be long before there was no hope for mortals.
Before Xena embarked on the final leg of the quest, she needed to make certain Gabrielle was taken care of. She only hoped Hercules would remember once he awoke from her blow. And would one day forgive her for having done what she was about to do.
As usual with a fight, everything seemed to happen at once. First, the strange birdmen hatched. Then Hercules arrived. Next thing Xena knew, she was high in the air with momma. The blow of the stone wall nearly loosened Xena's grip. She had to end it and before she plummeted before she was ready.
In the arms of safety. Xena had forgotten exactly how it felt to be held by Hercules. To have to rely on someone else, if only for a moment. While it felt nice, she also felt…Like she was betraying Gabrielle somehow.
And Xena felt something as she watched Gabrielle and Iolaus interact. It was akin to the betrayal, only in reverse. It was jealousy. But she had her own goodbye to say. And she meant it when she said Hercules taught her what life was meant to be.
Now, would Xena seek that out with Gabrielle? Or would she continue to hide her feelings. Perhaps even attempt to find others that might fill the void that was growing within. Even though every day she saw her soulmate, it was an empty sensation.
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"Why didn't you tell me?" Gabrielle's question was a valid one. Xena only hoped Hercules and Iolaus were far enough away so that they weren't being overheard. "Was it because I would have tried everything in my power to stop you?"
"Gabrielle…" Xena sighed heavily. Already her bard had answered her own question. Still, Gabrielle was expecting the words to come from her mouth. "Why don't we find someplace to camp for the night."
Xena wasn't about to admit it wasn't only about avoiding the question. It was also because she was sore from the battle. Was it the hit to the wall? Or was it the maze she had survived as she had retrieved the sword?
There was a look in emerald eyes. Gabrielle wasn't certain, but she could have sworn there was more than merely wanting to avoid the question. Xena wasn't much of a talker, as had already been proven.
"I am a little tired. We did do more traveling and in a hurry. Plus, it was sorta exhausting attempting to get Iolaus and Hercules to tell me tales." Gabrielle wasn't lying. She was more tired than usual.
Though Xena was skeptical, she wasn't about to refuse the gift Gabrielle was offering. "I'll do a quick fishing trip. You make camp." The warrior princess pulled up on Argo's reigns. "And we will talk, I promise."
The bard nodded. While Xena remained mostly silent, they had been having their fair share of talks after a majority of their adventures. It was something Gabrielle hoped would continue.
But could Gabrielle bring herself to ask the real question? Iolaus hadn't remembered her story. Would Xena find it…interesting? There was only one way to find out. Not only why Xena had kept the power of the sword from her.
It wasn't long until both were sitting around a fire. For once, the sun was still fully shining. They had missed their midday meal so the nourishment was much needed, especially for the young bard who seemed to need more fuel.
"I didn't tell you for one simple reason. I knew you'd try to stop me." Xena took a swallow of water. "But there was more to it than that. If you had asked me not to, I'm not certain I could have refused you. And I still feel the world needs Hercules more than it needs me."
Gabrielle placed her plate on the bedroll. While she was only half finished with her meal, she wasn't able to eat. Instead, she had to digest what her best friend had said. And attempt to understand why it affected her so.
"The world needs all the heroes it can have." Gabrielle knew she was sidestepping some of what they needed to address. For some reason, she could not yet bring herself to do so. Would continuing to put off what needed discussing harm their developing relationship? Or make it stronger in the end.
"That's true." Xena also placed her plate on her bedroll. It wasn't even half finished. Her stomach was roiling as so many emotions were flowing through her mind. It was disconcerting for someone who attempted to repress any emotions.
"But there are different kinds of heroes." Xena once again took a swallow of her water. "Hercules is a demigod. But that's not the most important thing. The fact he's always had a heart of gold…"
"He made mistakes." Gabrielle was now sitting cross-legged in front of her warrior princess. "There was a time when he wanted nothing to do with being a hero. That he shunned his father."
"That's different." Xena retrieved her sword. If she was to continue with this conversation, she needed a distraction. Something to help ease her nerves. To help her deal with looking into emerald eyes and seeing the understanding and love.
"Why? Because he never had to follow a path of darkness?" Gabrielle was becoming angry. All thoughts of wondering who her true soulmate were had instantly vanished. Now she needed to make Xena see her version of the truth.
There was no acknowledgement. Instead, the sharpening of the sword became more intense. Already, Gabrielle knew that meant she was close to the truth and that Xena was attempting to distance herself from what the truth could mean.
"Let me tell you a story. One you should be familiar with." Gabrielle instantly was in bard mode. Xena knew there was no choice but to listen to whatever tale it was her bard was to relate. The sword was now being polished.
"Once, there was a ruthless warlord. Her name was Xena." Gabrielle's eyebrow rose when Xena attempted to speak. "She did things I can't even describe. And things I'm certain I don't even know about."
It was a pointed jab. Xena knew there were so many things from her past she should share with Gabrielle. Some because it might place the bard in danger. Some because if they were to ever be more than friends, her bard should know.
"What I know is what I've seen. When she was at her lowest point, she placed her own fears and anguish aside." For a moment, the pair stared into one another's eyes. It was almost like the first time when azure and emerald met.
So much was exchanged in that first glance. It had led to Xena being harmed. And it had led to the continued struggle Gabrielle always faced. Which was to fight for what she believed in and be allowed to do what was in her heart.
"Before I knew what was happening, I and my fellow villagers were being saved." Gabrielle's smile was one of satisfaction as Xena had halted in her polishing. "And what thanks did this former warlord require?"
"She only wanted to be on her way. Didn't even want to rest, even though she had been injured." Gabrielle knew it wasn't exactly like that. Xena hadn't wanted the attention. And she still, at that moment, hadn't been certain what path her life was to take.
There was a part of Gabrielle that wanted to believe it was once the bard had arrived in Amphipolis that Xena had found her direction. That it was being saved that allowed the warrior princess to see what good she could do with her life.
After all, Xena had vowed to her mother to continue making up for her past sins until she no longer had breath. It was a promise Gabrielle intended to help keep. If no other promise, she would make certain it was the one Xena kept.
"And every time this hero comes across an injustice, she only has to look to her past." This was the difficult part for Gabrielle. Not to tell, but for what it would do to Xena. "To know what the people suffering the injustice are feeling. And to know from her past misdeeds what to do about the situation."
There was silence for several moments. "I guess that wasn't much of a story, but the moral is simple. Someone with a dark past knows what it was like to inflict injustice and knows how to correct it. But also struggles with falling back into the darkness. Even with the strongest of support."
And there it was. Xena knew her bard was right. "And that is why I couldn't tell you what it would do to me if I were to have struck the blow. Because you would have told me a tale and made it impossible to do so."
Something, more than words, was exchanged between the two in that moment. Something that had been being exchanged since the first moment Gabrielle was allowed to remain in Xena's camp.
In that moment, Gabrielle once again heard the tale she had related to Iolaus. In that moment, she seemed to know. She was connected to Xena. Had been, perhaps longer than the two could ever understand.
The pair remained mostly silent as they finished their meal and went about their evening ritual. Both had quite a bit on their mind, as usual. Gabrielle continued to wonder what a true soulmate was like, while Xena wondered if she would ever have the courage to tell her bard what she felt.
And who would come and go? Would there be others that would interfere in what was already growing by leaps and bounds? Already, Gabrielle had been tempted by a couple of men who had been involved in their adventures.
Already, the past had haunted Xena when it came to Marcus and Hercules. But there were so many more in the warrior princess' past. And not just men. How would Gabrielle react to that?
Was it more terrifying to think Gabrielle wouldn't be able to accept a woman as a lover or that she would accept a woman as a lover? It was a fitful night's sleep for Xena. She was definitely ready for their next adventure. She only hoped it had little to do with death. Already, she'd had enough of that.