"...And that's one of the biggest reasons why there are so many stray dogs, it's pretty sad."

Takagi nodded, trying to stay engaged in the conversation.

"Luckily there aren't many on our island, but there is a little grey scruffball I'm friends with that I see sometimes near home. Dad won't let me feed him, but there's a stick I keep around for when he wants to play fetch."

She nodded again, carefully taking an extra-wide step across a large patch of ice on the sidewalk.

"I think he might be a Pumi breed, not positive. He's always pretty clean, so who knows, maybe he's got a home and just lost his collar. I guess that would be better."

Takagi paused for a second, rolling out her left ankle within her brown shoe as best she could. While it no longer hurt, being sick so long had caused it to seize up, and even weeks later it was still a bit stiff.

"Hey, are you alright there?"

Takagi smiled and nodded, stepping forward on her way to school. They were nearly there.

"What about you, Takagi-san... Do you like dogs too?"

That's right, she needed to talk too. Takagi looked at the boy next to her, constantly forgetting that she didn't need to tilt her head up quite as high now. "Yeah, dogs are nice," she replied, "Though it's a bit of a toss-up. I probably like cats a bit more."

He laughed, the raised an arm in a big stretch. "Well I can't argue with that!"

Shibasaki was a nice boy. Of all her male classmates besides Nishikata, he and Kimura were the only ones she had always felt truly comfortable being around. And Shibasaki was the only boy besides Nishikata that had texted her after being out of school for a week. Girls in other classes often asked Takagi about him, but she never had much to share as she only knew that he was friendly. Some thought he was charming, and she had to admit his looks weren't half bad.

Up until now, Takagi hadn't really gotten to know any of the boys or even talked with them much. With Nishikata now out of the picture, there were no reasons to continue that, so when Shibasaki mentioned walking home together on occasion, she had agreed. Maybe it could help, talking with other boys. Especially one that was giving off signs that he was interested - this was the second time he had invited her to walk to school together, and she didn't mind his stories and lighthearted banter.

If she were walking with Nishikata, she would have come up with a tease by now. Even a non-romantic one was fine. But with anybody else, especially with another boy, it felt weird. Perhaps mean. She wasn't used to it. And Takagi didn't want to lead Shibasaki on, not feeling even the slightest attraction back, but walking and talking seemed pretty harmless.

The pair finally arrived at the school's front doors and Shibasaki held one open with a little smile. In some ways he reminded Takagi of a little scruffball dog as well, friendly and talkative, more so than most other boys.

Definitely more outwardly friendly than Nishikata, when we first met... she thought, but then shook her head to banish those thoughts. Takagi had already vowed it, no more thinking about Nishikata with such fixation. She was already past her heartache.

They got to their seats just as the first period bell rang. There was no need to arrive early anymore. "Talk to you later!" Shibasaki said jovially with a wave, then walked up to his seat at the front with a bit of a skip.

Nishikata was just settling into his desk as well. Takagi gave him a calm "Good morning" which he returned. She didn't know how or when he had arrived, but it didn't matter. Maybe he had been hanging out with Hamaguchi or Kimura, or Mina, a girl from another class, or... it didn't matter. It wasn't her business. He could do as he pleased.

Class soon began, and the first subject of the day was math. They were in the second week of something called polynomials, and Takagi was glad she hadn't missed any of the unit as it was challenging even for her. She tried to concentrate as the teacher drew out various parentheses and exponents on the chalkboard.

Nishikata wasn't even trying today, it seemed. Math wasn't his strong subject, but he had only glanced at the board a few times, mostly keeping his head down on the desk. Maybe he hadn't slept well, maybe he was out late doing something with others.

After the first period ended, Takagi got up to stretch and talk with her friend Sumire for the eight-minute break. They talked about fashion, about the weather, the usual. Sumire occasionally brought up her crush, Sakurai-kun, especially since Takagi sat next to him, but lately Takagi directed the conversation away to other things when possible. Her friend didn't know much about the past couple of months.

The next subject was science, with a new teacher to go with it. This wasn't as tough nor as interesting as math to Takagi, and her notes were comparatively about a quarter of the length. Nishikata didn't seem very interested in this one either—he wasn't always the most interested in school in the first place—but today he seemed especially bored. He hadn't even left his desk during the break.

Takagi glanced at him, feeling the temptation to tease. With his head down like this, another tower of books over his head would be a simple feat.

But that was a little too friendly for today—it might encourage a challenge, a discussion, and more. Takagi felt happy right now—definitely happy—and she didn't want to lose that. She shook her head and focused back on the biology lesson.

Still, as Nishikata didn't look up for another five minutes, Takagi kept finding herself glancing at him and wondering why.

Was he upset about something, not just tired? Was he feeling jealous about someone else liking his crush, or did something awkward happen with her?

She shook her head again with a bit more vigor. Nishikata let out a quiet sigh, turning his head onto its side. Their eyes met briefly before Takagi turned back to the lesson.

Was he still weirded out from when Takagi kept hugging him that long when she was sick, even though that was weeks ago? From her pathetic rambling or her desire to just confess, to that hallucination about nearly kissing him? While the moment had felt right then and there, it wasn't a good look and—

Takagi pinched herself scoldingly. You're having a good day, so stop fixating on that afternoon for once and fouling it up!

She forced up a smile and focused back on the topic, which was currently the layers of skin on different mammals and how they compared to reptiles. It was easier to focus if she drew little pictures of the layers - the epidermis, the dermis, the layer of fat beneath them.

Soft scribbling came from the side—Nishikata had pulled out his pack of 48 colored pencils and was sketching the same cross section of skin as her, but with greater precision. He had come a long way since their first self-portrait sketching class and tended to perk up when the chance came to draw something. Takagi's smile grew more natural as she watched him compare two shades of beige to find the best match.

The next tease was on the tip of her tongue—but she forced it down and turned back to the lesson, which had somehow already moved onto bird feathers. She was thinking about him again, she was too close. Why was today harder to focus than usual?

The same cycle repeated the next few periods—Takagi trying to distract herself, Nishikata being too entertaining or cute, her wanting to engage with him, then pulling back. Sure, at this point she was pretty familiar with it, but it didn't matter. I'm having a good day, she kept reminding herself.

The day seemed to stretch on like this, but lunch did eventually come. Takagi went over to talk with Sumire and Mano, but noticed as Nishikata, Takao, and Kimura were joined by Mina and Yukari. When Mina moved closer to Nishikata, laughing loudly about something, Takagi decided that today was better spent at the music club.

As she walked down the hallway on her own, Takagi thought about what the club members would be doing today. Yep, she definitely wasn't thinking about what certain black-headed boys were planning to do with certain blonde girls. That was a bad idea. No, Takagi was far more interested in that vocal piece she was learning, the one that she hoped another girl might want to sing in a duet with her.

When she got to the clubroom on the other side of the school, there were eight or nine boys and girls already congregating, two with strings instruments and a few others standing over a mess of sheet music, arguing. The group was nice to her, even though Takagi was relatively new, and there were a few girls that came sometimes that like to sing as well.

In fact, one of them was here today, a friendly brunette her same age from a different class. It was a good opportunity to gauge her interest, see if she might also like the song and whether she preferred soprano or alto. Takagi grabbed her bag to find to the sheet music-

-Only to realize that she had left her bag in the classroom in her haste. The walk back to retrieve it would take a few minutes, but this girl didn't always attend and there was more than enough time left before the next period began.

"You leaving already?" a low voice asked as Takagi turned to see Okada-san, the club president and a third-year, raising his eyebrows at her.

"I'll be back, just forgot my bag with my music," she replied quickly.

"I was gonna grab something from my locker too, I'll walk with you."

Takagi shrugged and nodded, waiting for the older boy to stand up and join her. Walking and talking was a good distraction, though she was surprised how many more boys wanted to talk with her in the last month. In the past, not many guys had tried, or maybe she just hadn't noticed. Maybe they were like Nishikata, too nervous to ask, or maybe she hadn't seemed as friendly.

It seemed like Nishikata was like that too—he hadn't talked directly with other girls much until recently. Or maybe she was too oblivious to notice. Obliviousness was not something Takagi was accustomed to, but she had experienced quite a lot of it lately. Maybe he did talk with other girls a lot, like he probably did now, and she never knew it.

"Takagi-san? You hear me?"

Takagi jumped, trying to conceal her frown. "Could you repeat that?" she asked Okada-san, who was trying to have a conversation with her as they walked down the hallways.

She could do that. Takagi wanted to talk with him. Takagi was happy. She wasn't thinking about Nishikata.

She wouldn't think about Nishikata. Takagi looked up, shaking her head for the umpteenth time...

...And saw Nishikata walking down the same hallway, talking with a tall blonde-haired girl. Taller than her. Maybe taller than Nishikata, actually. She didn't recognize this girl, maybe she was a third year?

It didn't matter—she was talking to him and he was talking back.

They looked like they were having a good time.

"You okay today?" questioned Okada-san, his eyebrows raised once again. Takagi had stopped walking, and took a big step forward to catch up. She nodded in response, but this time her normal smile failed to materialize.

She watched as Nishikata approached, hardly hearing whatever Okada-san was talking about. Try as she might, Takagi couldn't pull her eyes away. Nishikata looked happy. She wanted her friend to be happy. Maybe this was his crush, maybe it wasn't Mina after all.

Nishikata met her eyes, finally noticing them. She tried to smile, but it probably looked more like she was sucking on a very sour jawbreaker. Nishikata didn't smile back either.

The couples passed, and only a minute later Takagi was by her classroom.

"You don't look too good," Okada-san said as he waved goodbye, "Maybe you should take it easy today instead of practicing that piece."

Takagi meandered back to her desk in the corner where her bag hung. But instead of opening it, she sunk down into the seat, resting her head on the wood desktop like Nishikata had done before.

Takagi was having a good day. That's what she told herself, every day. She had to have a good day for once. She couldn't keep letting this jealousy pull her down.

But just seeing him, flirting with someone else, someone better than her, she couldn't. Takagi couldn't.

She couldn't keep lying to herself. Takagi wasn't happy, no matter how hard she tried to force it. Everything was just cloudy, dull, and grey with Nishikata just out of reach.

She hated the lies, and hated it even more when she lied to herself like this. Lying that she was fine, that the past month hadn't been awful, lying that she was over him and disinterested. Not even her concerned mom knew much about it.

Takagi couldn't keep living like this. Even when she had opened up to Nishikata, to the very one she was so conflicted about, Takagi had lied about who she loved.

The quiet classroom had filled back up for the final period, obvious from the growing buzz of conversation, but Takagi hadn't once lifted her head. With a sigh, she shifted her head to the side for comfort, and finally opened her eyes.

Nishikata was in his desk next to her, his head down on the desk as well. His eyes were closed. He'd probably used most of his energy to talk with his crush. She hadn't noticed when he came in.

It would be so easy, so simple to just lean over, and kiss his cheek. Thank him properly for trying to comfort her when she was sick. But Takagi had already gotten that one incredible, exhilarating hug, and she had to be okay with just that.

When the final period began, Takagi didn't raise her head. It wasn't like her to not pay attention, but today was particularly bad. When latest test results were passed back, she didn't have to move, as Nishikata had mistakenly been handed her result and passed it over to her.

"Thanks," she muttered, taking it and looking. B+. At least her grades weren't slipping too much. Nishikata resumed his place on the desk, his head against the wood in the same way as hers, and their eyes met. But Takagi didn't care anymore. Who cared if he saw her depressed like this? Was it really that bad to not be happy constantly?

The pair looked at each other on and off throughout the period. Takagi longed for things to be like they were before, for the innocent flirting and teasing, for the solitary relationship they had, for the lack of turmoil and pain she felt. She didn't know what Nishikata was thinking, she just couldn't tell anymore. If it were about his crush, about manga, or how odd she was for just staring at him, she wouldn't know. She had avoided being around him these past few weeks, even turning down a group date invitation from Houjou the week before, so he was even less on her radar than usual.

Nishikata eventually raised his head and took a shot at taking notes. Takagi stayed where she was, however. Watching him fall in love with someone else, or actively trying, was too much. But it wasn't even that he didn't like her at this point—the biggest weight on Takagi's heart was her own inability to express her feelings, for really, to be completely and utterly honest with him.

If she could get that out by some miracle, then she would at least be free. Free from feeling bad about not being true to herself, and free from the pointless yet endless wondering about that impossible chance that he had ever actually liked her back, as he would know. She didn't want to weird him out, to lose him as a friend, but she could hardly call their recent interactions friend-like anyway.

If Takagi wanted to be honest again, not just with herself but fully honest, she had to start somewhere. If she ever wanted the chance to truly move on, she knew what she had to do.

Takagi had to be fully honest with Nishikata. He could do whatever he wanted. But she had to tell him, just once in her life, that he was always her crush.

She just didn't know how.

When the final bell rang, everyone stood up to leave except Takagi. She sat up, but felt no reason to go anywhere or do anything. It wasn't like she was trying to impress anyone anymore. Nishikata muttered a goodbye to her and walked out. When Shibasaki came over a minute later to walk her home, she made up an excuse about needing to stay after—she wasn't in a mood to talk with anyone.

Instead, she just laid her head back down. While everyone else filed out, she just sat there.

She sat as the sounds of bustling students grabbing bags and chattering excitedly faded from the hallways, until everything was silent.

"Takagi."

She instantly recognized that voice. Takagi reluctantly lifted her head, to see Nishikata holding his bag by the classroom door. For some reason, he had come back.

While she had nothing to say, she somehow managed to find a smile for him. The boy blushed, scratching his head. Too cute for her own good.

"Do you... want to meet up this weekend? Maybe just an hour, starting at the shrine?"

"Another challenge?" she questioned.

"...You could say that," he replied.

Takagi gulped. The last time they had planned to hang out was that hike, and as fun as it was at first, she sort of wished it had never even happened. At least then she would still be in the dark about Nishikata's crush, which would now undoubtedly come up repeatedly.

But at the same time, now that she knew, perhaps she could get herself to move on quicker. To Nishikata, despite Takagi being basically a statue to him these last few weeks, he probably just wanted to continue with some overdue friendly competitions. Even if hanging out hurt on her end, maybe there could be less misery in the long-term. Maybe it was possible, one day, to imagine a world where Nishikata was still a good friend to her too, and nothing else. Maybe she could even be supportive in his romance struggles.

But only if she could get over her hurdle and tell him the truth. To be true to herself.

"Okay," she answered.

Nishikata half-smiled back, then left in a rush. They were still friends, and apparently best friends, so hanging out shouldn't have been weird. That said, they had hardly talked since she came back to school - it seemed both of them had changed. Takagi had a few days to think, to figure out if she could really just tell him the truth.

She just worried it would be too painful.