How many days was I was away? It was as long as my first return home. And yet, for some reason, it seemed much longer. I had to prove myself, once again. But the odds were not as high as when I had to prove myself to Xena.
What is it with my warrior princess? Xena is putting the finishing touches on the quilt she has made for a certain someone. Who doesn't matter at the moment. Oh, it will be revealed in time. But she takes a break to once again give me a kiss on the top of the head.
Right now, I'm focusing on an extended separation between myself and my warrior princess. It was an opportunity for a young bard. An opportunity that never would have presented itself had I not been traveling with Xena.
Not because I wasn't a talented bard. It was because I didn't have the experiences. A vivid imagination is one thing. But to actually experience the things I have make one an entirely different person and bard.
I often wonder what was going through Xena's mind as we separated. It wasn't for a short time. The look on her face when I told her it could be years…It still gets to me. And sadly, breaks my heart having hurt her that way.
For that, I receive a gentle kiss upon the lips. My wife is amazingly gentle and sweet. With me, she has always been. Yes, she was gruff at times. That was only her way of protecting her fragile heart. As well as protecting a naïve farm girl.
I can't help but think of the one time neither of us were gentle with one another. I still don't know how we survived that horrific time. Love of course, but there was also our son. Solon did the impossible, just like his mother.
Those are darker times than I want to think about. It's difficult enough to speak of the first time I willingly separated from Xena and for an untold amount of time. After all, had I won and remained, it would have been five years of separation.
As always, our adventures taught me something. In this case, I had to follow my heart. I had to learn from life, not pretend to be living. Some would say studying at the most prestigious school for bards should be the ultimate goal.
And to some, it is. But to me, I was still confused. I hadn't been off the farm for long. And Xena was just beginning to truly show me her feelings. We had a long road to travel. Both together and apart. I wouldn't have missed a moment.
Perhaps one day I can persuade Xena to write her own feelings about some of our adventures. And there she is, reading my mind once again. I chuckle as she laughs heartily. Then I give her my special look.
The laughing halts and Xena clears her throat. Like her, I have some skills. Perhaps not as many as my warrior princes, but still…And now onto the tale of my earliest, most prolific skill, which is telling tales.
ATHENS CITY OF PERFORMING BARDS
Gabrielle hated it, though she loved to relate a good tale. But sometimes, she would become too involved and would lose track of her stories. She would want to involve the audience so much, she would combine her own experiences.
The bard especially became lost when she was regaling her audience with a tale of Xena. There remained so many who were convinced the warrior princess was pure evil. Who could blame them? It had been over a decade of terror by the leather clad woman.
It wasn't all that long ago that Xena had begun her crusade to atone for her past sins. It was a long road. One Gabrielle hoped to be on for a very long time indeed. But life was unpredictable, as already the bard had learned.
And the fact a handsome young man was complementing her storytelling. It was definitely a way to the bard's heart. Not as that was already taken. At least a way to strike up a lasting friendship, perhaps.
It was something Gabrielle regretted, in some ways, the fact she had never had any 'real' training. A handful of bards had come to her home town and she had at each village or castle studied the local bards.
What really had Gabrielle's attention was the mentioning of a contest of sorts. The top four contestants would win a place in the highly sought after academy. It was what, at one time, the bard had dreamed of.
Cute? Gabrielle wasn't amused at how the young man's father had merely said her story was cute, not even having heard it once. Housework? That was even worse. It made the bard angry. And determined.
That was when Xena arrived. A new adventure. A cyclops. Was it the fact Gabrielle had outwitted a cyclops before? Granted it had been blind. Or was it the fact her stories had been accused of being cute and she needed to prove the young man's father wrong.
Xena could read her so well. When Gabrielle had turned down the new adventure and related her dream, her warrior princess had deciphered part of the true meaning. Which was showing up the older man.
Was it still her dream? Gabrielle could see into the eyes of her friend. After all this time, her warrior princess couldn't fully mask her true feelings. The pain of separation was obvious. But there was something more. The bard couldn't quite decipher it.
Could it have anything to do with the fact they'd nearly kissed? That their feelings were growing by leaps and bounds? Was it the way Gabrielle knew Xena would close herself off from everyone, including her best friend, to protect herself and those she cared about?
Four or five years? Gabrielle couldn't even imagine being away from Xena that long. To the casual observer, one would think the thought of being separated for so long wasn't affecting Xena. But even though Gabrielle had issues reading her best friend fully, even she could see how upset the thought was making the warrior princess.
It was like Xena had said she was in love with her. At least, that's what Gabrielle had heard when her best friend had said that about being surrounded by an army and would be missed. Or was she being silly?
But what Gabrielle cherished even more was the fact Xena had she was a good storyteller. That she was a cinch to make it. The confidence her best friend had in her could make all the difference in the world.
The only thing taking away from her attempting to achieve her dream was how Xena had said she was like her sister. While it was a bit comforting, it also was unsettling. And made the fact Gabrielle was in love with her warrior princess meaningless.
The solitary travels were difficult at best. Even when Gabrielle had been 'reunited' with her friend, her thoughts remained on her warrior princess. The final words were crushing. In so many ways. Ways the bard couldn't express.
The so-called competition was interesting. One had amazing stories, but his diction could bore one to death. Another had a stutter which might turn off some. A third was into the action, but where was the substance?
Her friend wasn't happy with his name. It was something Gabrielle could understand. But Draco? There was no way she could handle that. Her initial meeting with the warlord would live with her forever.
There were positives and negatives to the confrontation. It was a way for Xena to show her home village, and more importantly her mother, how she had changed. The negatives were being up close to a ruthless man.
Relating her experience in a story was twofold. In a way, Gabrielle was practicing for the competition, even if she wasn't aware of it. But the most important thing was the fact the bard felt closer to Xena and missed her a little less. There was the spreading of the word of just how much the warrior princess had changed as well.
The applause wasn't what she had been after. Gabrielle had merely related a story. More so, she had related a life experience. While she could make up any story, retelling her own experiences with Xena were beyond words and with an ease she had never felt before.
It was how Gabrielle was able to trick her way into the competition. If she were discovered, it would mean her dismissal. But she had nothing to lose, really. If she were to be kicked out or not win, she could always return to Xena.
Residing with the servants was nothing new for Gabrielle. In fact, being with the 'little' people, as Princess Dianna had referred to them, was how she was most comfortable. It was why she didn't mind camping out or not being able to afford staying in an inn. Or even taking advantage when one of their friends, kings and princesses, would offer to stay in the castle.
There was something about the man who had been rude and shoved her. Or was it Xena's influence? Living life with the warrior princess had taught her to be observant. Yes, it was because they faced life and death situations. In the long run, it would help her in telling the stories she had hidden deep within.
Before Gabrielle could truly react, the man who had been rude was attacking the teacher. But something felt off. Something seemed staged. And when the teacher revealed it had been nothing but a fabrication, the bard knew her first instincts had been correct.
To add to that, Gabrielle felt cheated. While stories come from the mind and experiences influence them, it seemed too convenient. There was no warmth. This was nothing more than a stunt.
Once again, Gabrielle found herself relating one of her own experiences. It was a little more difficult as it was personal. Yet, all of her stories were personal. It was just that some touched her more so than others.
There was something about Orion. It wasn't necessarily an attraction. Gabrielle was beginning to recognize someone who had been, not abused, but hadn't been properly given the support they needed.
Once again, Stollonus showed he was all about the action. While action was stimulating and necessary to a story, there was the heart. There was a moral. A reason for relating the story.
Like any story with Xena. While it was true her early years were beyond dark, even those had a moral to them. It may be as simple as learning not to be like the warrior princess. Or it might be how to stand up to pure evil.
All the talking of Xena, even the old evil warrior princess, had Gabrielle missing her best friend. She was still attempting to process the fact Xena merely thought of her as a sister, nothing more.
It was a restless night for the bard. Gabrielle was glad when morning came and she could focus on helping the others. Orion was a decent storyteller. He merely seemed distracted. As if he was focusing on the wrong things.
Discovering his father was the one who was telling him how to tell his stories wasn't shocking. While Gabrielle was certain Orion's father meant well, the pressure was too great. It was hampering Orion's ability to tell stories.
Why was it not surprising that Polonius, Orion's father, was the one who informed the academy that she wasn't actually supposed to be there. It was not how she would have wanted the competition to end, but at least she could return to Xena.
And yet, had Gabrielle had enough time to come to terms with the fact her best friend thought of her as merely a sister be for the best? Yes, she was repeating herself. Her heart was broken and there weren't words to heal it.
The fact her new friends were supportive helped, at least a little. And the way Orion was upset with his father was extra sweet. Saying goodbye was never easy. As her journeys with Xena had already taught her and into another story of an adventure she'd had because of the warrior princess.
The relating of the soulmates story nearly had Gabrielle choked up. She knew she was in love with Xena. But were they soulmates? To her, she felt incomplete being here at the academy without Xena. Wasn't that one of the ways one knew the other was their soulmate?
While Gabrielle wanted to return to Xena, perhaps one more night was for the best. It would help her continue to study her feelings. And to find a way to hide her love. Along with the confusion that continued to plague the bard.
Once again, Gabrielle found herself the center of attention. How? Her friend was refusing to relate his tale unless she was given a second chance. When all her friends refused, it nearly made the bard cry.
It placed the bard on the spot. But it wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last. If life with Xena had taught her anything, it was you had to be prepared. After all, she hadn't expected to run into Perdicus during her travels.
The euphoria of being allowed to compete wore off quickly when Orion's father began badgering him. In a way, Gabrielle couldn't blame her friend for running off. If she wasn't the person she was now, she might have run from the abuse Orion had just suffered.
Did Pollonus think it was truly Gabrielle's fault his son had run off? If only he had supported Orion no matter what. Sadly, not all parents were as loving as Cyrene. And even she had her limits.
It, thankfully, didn't take much for Gabrielle to convince her friend to return to the competition. He just had to relax and do it his way. If that meant closing his eyes so he could see the story as it unfolded, that was what he needed to do.
Relating the most important moment in her life was easy. Once again, Gabrielle was missing her best friend. As she allowed the story to unfold, she knew where her place was. And that was at Xena's side.
As great as it had felt relating her tale, Gabrielle enjoyed listening to the others as well, especially Orion. He truly was a storyteller. And one day, his name would be one remembered throughout time.
It was time. As much as Gabrielle could learn remaining at the academy and the treasured friends she'd made, her place was truly by Xena's side. After all, her best friend had probably had some kind of trouble and the bard wasn't there to help in her own special way.
Xena seemed genuinely surprised Gabrielle had given up her place at the academy. How could she be? Wasn't the love she was feeling shining through her emerald eyes? Instead of saying how she felt, she told another truth. That she could be living the adventures, not just learning how to relate them.
Before Gabrielle could even revel in the fact she was by Xena's side, they were being attacked. Another adventure, another story. While it would make a wonderful tale, the most important thing was she was by her best friend's side.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
While Xena enjoyed her alone time, Gabrielle being off somewhere always had her ill at ease. The bard's growing prowess with the staff put some of the uneasiness at rest. But it wasn't merely the fact Gabrielle was on her own.
It was the fact Xena had become accustomed to her bard. Allowing for Gabrielle to earn her own keep in her own way was part of the continuing growing process her best friend continued as they journeyed together.
What Gabrielle didn't know was how often Xena would stand just outside the door of whatever tavern or inn her bard was relating their latest adventure. This was no exception. She'd already discovered a new adventure. It was with anticipation Xena waited so she could share it with her friend.
Perhaps she had waited too long. Perhaps Xena's timing was off, for once. After all, Gabrielle was planning on leaving her. It wasn't for a night or two like the last time. No, this time it could be several years.
It wasn't something Xena was prepared for. Not anymore like she had been when they had first began traveling together. After all, she had attempted to leave her bard behind a few times.
The only way Xena might have been prepared was if Gabrielle had come to her and said she was homesick. After being reunited with Perdicus, the warrior princess could have understood how her bard had begun feeling that way.
Even then, it stung beyond words that Gabrielle could even think about leaving. Yet, it was for a dream the bard had had. Xena remembered the one wish Gabrielle had had should Xena be the one to strike the blow, even making certain Hercules would have seen to it that Gabrielle had an escort to the academy.
Here was an opportunity that would only present itself once in a lifetime. It wasn't like the academy held contest like this every year. After all, it was one of the most difficult places to be accepted to. And here her bard had this opportunity.
Was that why Xena said what she said once her bard informed her of the opportunity? Sister? That was the last thing the warrior princess thought of when she thought of Gabrielle. It was not how she could ever think of her.
Family was one thing. But as her sister? It wasn't sisterly thoughts that kept Xena up at night. It wasn't sisterly thoughts that Xena had been thinking when she had nearly kissed Gabrielle.
Why was it the first time Xena had truly informed her bard how much she thought of her stories? It was true. Gabrielle was one of the best bards she'd ever known. It wouldn't take much for Gabrielle to become a success.
Knowing there was a battle ahead helped ease the pain. While doing the greater good was still what drove Xena, the fact she now had someone she was so connected with and longed to be with all the time took precedent.
In fact, Xena merely went through the motions. She attempted to remember what was said and how she fought. If she could even relate the basics, then Gabrielle could possibly make a story of it.
After all, Gabrielle could make a story out of nearly any of their adventures and had. How many times had Xena been on Argo pretending to ignore her bard as she was regaled with one story or another.
The cyclops was as stupid as the last one Xena had blinded. It was easy taking care of him and reaping what little rewards there was to be gained. The warrior princess turned down all material favors. Except for one.
There were some rare parchments the farmers Xena had helped had obtained. She wasn't about to ask them how. They were stories the warrior princess hadn't heard of. Hopefully, they were new to Gabrielle as well.
It was part of the reason Xena found herself heading to Athens. It wasn't a place she relished visiting again. While the larger cities were wonderful for a warlord to wage war on, the warrior princess preferred the countryside.
Some of her fondest memories were of her grandparents' farm. She wondered what had become of the old farm. Perhaps one day, she would take Gabrielle there. Perhaps one day, it could be where she retired to. If that day ever came.
Did Xena have to ask who won? Yes, if only because Gabrielle was suddenly walking next to her. It felt natural, like a piece of her had returned. There was a story of soulmates. Not that the warrior princess actually believed in such things.
Living the adventure? As the men approached them, it was more than true. Xena only hoped that she could continue to protect her bard. That Gabrielle would never be harmed. She was more worried about harming her emotionally than physically.
And yet, the life Xena lived and her bard tagged along for was filled with pain and death. Positive thoughts. Like Gabrielle never leaving her again. That's what Xena had to continue to hold onto.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
The fight hadn't been anything out of the ordinary. Still, Xena knew her bard would do what she always did. And what was that? Gabrielle would make the warrior princess appear even more heroic than she was.
Not that Xena wasn't a fighter, a true warrior. Now that she was fighting on the side of good, it did make her a hero of sorts. But she would never be like Hercules. When one has a past such as she did, there was so much more to it than merely doing for the greater good.
While Xena wanted her bard to write her story, she also wanted to talk about the separation. About how she had referred to Gabrielle as a sister. How could she have done that? As difficult as it would be, if Perdicus had asked Gabrielle to marry him, the warrior princess would not have gotten in the way.
It had been to comfort Gabrielle. To let her know Xena would always be there for her. And that she did think of her bard as family. It was a different kind of family than sister, but it was family nonetheless.
Perhaps it was even stronger. This connection they had to one another was unlike anything Xena had experienced. Perhaps if she'd allowed for herself to care for her son, it would have been different. That was a road she didn't want to travel. Not anytime soon, anyways.
There had to be something said between them. Xena couldn't leave it like she had. The fact her life would be so empty without Gabrielle in it had the warrior princess nearly mad with thinking of a separation. And if it were to ever become final…
While it was a possibility with each day that passed, Xena couldn't think like that. Not any more she couldn't. There was too much at stake. While she would gladly give up her life for an innocent, there were too many she could help. Too many wrongs she could right. Most of those wrongs her own.
There were three people Xena was doing this for. Cyrene had forgiven her, but the shame had to still sting. There was her young son who thought she was a monster, rightfully so. And there was her bard.
Gabrielle chanced a glance at that moment. The warrior princess couldn't help but wonder what her young friend was thinking. If only she was brave enough to ask. If only she was brave enough to tell her exactly how she felt…
"Would you mind if we stopped in the next village?" Gabrielle wasn't certain why she was asking the way she was. It wasn't fear of the gruff, sternness Xena used to grace her with when they were first traveling.
It was most likely the fear of discovering the truth. The entire time Gabrielle had been away, her only thoughts were of Xena. And the one word that was confusing her. More than confusing, it was crushing her as well.
While the bard wanted to know the answers to the questions plaguing her, she wasn't certain she could handle them. It was as if the two were walking in circles. It wasn't even one step forward, two steps back.
One moment it was clear they had made progress. The next, they were nearly back at square one. Gabrielle hated this dance. While she enjoyed adventure and the potential romance, she also hated the not knowing.
There was the fear if it was only friendship for the pair in the future, could she continue to travel with the warrior princess? Could the adventures and doing good make her forget the way her heart ached at the thought of only being merely friends?
"Are you going to use some of the money you earned to treat me to dinner and a real bed?" The moment the words escaped her, Xena regretted them. Things were so much easier before she had admitted how much in love with her young friend she truly was.
The teasing would have been taken as just that. There was now the extra added meaning. It was almost as if they said or did the wrong thing, it could push the relationship further than either was ready for.
At least, Xena hoped it was that. That neither was ready for something more. That one day down the road, she would be ready to accept the love of an amazing woman. To be able to return it fully and without question.
Gabrielle's cheeks felt hot to her, suddenly. Or could it be the sun? After all, she had walked nearly nonstop from Athens just to catch up to her friend. And they had been walking for the longest of times already. There was still more daylight left. That could be why her cheeks were now burning.
Yeah, right. Even Gabrielle couldn't lie to herself. At one time, there would have been nothing but teasing behind Xena's question. Now, there was the added tension. The thought of actually spending the night together. And not in separate beds or bedrolls.
The heat increased upon her cheeks. "Well, I do have extra dinars. And I think the sun is extra hot. Would be nice to have a soft bed and a meal I didn't cook." Gabrielle hoped her warrior princess wouldn't call her on it.
For a moment, Xena did want to say something about how the bard's cheeks went from a nice pale pink shade to nearly the color of a beautiful red rose. The thought caused the warrior princess' mouth to go dry, momentarily.
"You mean you're tired of my hunting." Xena hoped her bard would go with it. She wasn't, at least at the moment, ready to speak of why she had said she thought of Gabrielle as a sister. Would she ever? Hmm…
"You do love your fish." For some reason, the utterance had the bard nearly ready to pass out. It was the heat. It was the sun. Nothing to do with the fire she had burning inside of her at the mere thought of her warrior princess.
"Yes, but there is more to life than merely fish." Where was this conversation heading? Xena had to rein it in, somehow. "I'll tell you what. Why don't you pay for the dinner and drinks and I'll spring for the room? The villagers were grateful I was able to help them with their cyclops problem."
"You still have to tell me about that. In detail." Gabrielle made certain she was looking into azure eyes. Though Xena's skin was tan as always, there seemed to be a little coloring as well. Was it the heat? Or was there frustration at having to relate yet another tale and become the hero?
"I haven't forgotten." Xena couldn't maintain the gaze. She saw too much in those emerald eyes. With Gabrielle, she wanted it to be true. But knew it could also be a reflection of her own feelings. "I think the next village is about half a candelmark to the east."
"Then east and a new village it is." Gabrielle was looking forward to stopping. She wasn't exactly physically tired, though she was a little from walking the past few days, nearly nonstop. It was the emotions that were exhausting her.
They traveled in mostly silence as they made their way to a village Gabrielle had never even heard of. It was larger than she had expected. There were two taverns, one that also was an inn. There were even two stables. Larger than either of their home villages, but smaller than some of the places they had been.
They chose the combination as it was quieter. It seemed the more boisterous clientele preferred the tavern only. Gabrielle would have thought it the other way around. If they'd had too much to drink, there would be a place to sleep it off. And there was the other aspect where if one thing led to another…
"I'll get Argo settled for the night. If you have any trouble getting a table, wait for me." Xena winked at her bard before taking her leave. It wasn't long before the haggling process, which Gabrielle was far better at, was taken care of.
It wasn't surprising to find her bard doing what she did best. While Gabrielle continued to excel with her staff, being a bard was her true calling. Xena stationed herself just by the entrance. She could watch and not intimidate the crowd.
It was a simple tale. It was the story of their latest encounter with thugs. What Gabrielle made of it could entertain anyone. Old and young alike, they would find themselves riveted. If Xena wasn't so focused on the safety of her bard, she might be completely engrossed as well.
"What a waste of time and dinars." Xena's hand slowly went for her chakram. In the confined space of the tavern, she was reluctant to use it. And she wanted to see how her best friend reacted to the critic.
"I'm sorry you feel that way. I know how much time means to us all. In fact, I can relate to how I never would have enough time to reunite with the hero who saved me." Gabrielle winked at her warrior princess. She took a breath, waiting for Xena's hand to move away from her weapon of choice.
It was easy relating their first meeting and everything Gabrielle had had to do to make her way to Amphipolis. How many times had she lost her way, only to discover she was on the right path all along.
In that moment, Gabrielle knew. No matter where else life would take her, she needed to walk the same path as Xena. Whether that be as her traveling companion or if it could be something more, Xena was her destiny.
Their meal was shared in mostly silence. There was so much both should say. Yet, it was as always, neither said what needed to be said. It could lead to the downfall of the relationship.
There were secrets Xena already was keeping from Gabrielle. The fact she had been betrothed being one of them. The bigger was the child she'd given up. How would her bard react when she discovered everything there was to know?
Gabrielle was scribbling in her personal diary. Xena was sharpening her sword. It was how they spent their evenings when they were too busy avoiding what they should be saying to one another.
Xena sighed. She remembered not that long ago how they had nearly kissed. It's what she wanted now. To kneel between Gabrielle's legs. To place a hand on both cheeks. To slowly lean in…
It wasn't to be. At least it wasn't to be in the near future. Xena began polishing her sword. She should do drills or hunt or something to burn off the excess energy she seemed to have at the moment.
Instead, Xena slowly undressed. She made her way under the covers. "Goodnight, Gabrielle. Don't stay up too late." When there was no response, the warrior princess rolled onto her side, facing the wall.
Under her breath, Gabrielle managed to wish her warrior princess a goodnight. There had been so many opportunities, yet the bard had remained silent. While the story had been to silence her critic, she also had hoped it would mean something to Xena.
Instead, it seemed the rift that was between them had grown. How Gabrielle wanted to make her way to her warrior princess. She wasn't experienced in the ways of making love, but a kiss. That was something she could do.
After all, Gabrielle had bestowed Perdicus with one. Instead of making her way to her warrior princess, the bard carefully placed her parchment in its carrying case. Soon, she would have to find someplace safe to leave them. Perhaps with Cyrene when they went for a visit.
Until then, the scrolls would go wherever Gabrielle was. Even the Amazons could be keepers of the scrolls. After all, the bard was an Amazon Princess. Something Xena wasn't too fond of.
It was Gabrielle's turn to sigh as she too rolled to her side. She was facing the wall, wishing more and more she was brave enough to tell Xena exactly how she felt. And wishing more and more that her first true kiss had been granted to her warrior princess, instead of Perdicus.