I didn't make many trips home. As some will have gathered from my scrolls, home is not necessarily a place. For me, wherever Xena was, I was home. But to visit Lila was a rarity. Something I regret.
The separation wasn't exactly timing. Yet, I had been doubting myself. While I was confused by my feelings towards Xena, I was, as always, worrying about my usefulness. A bard is only so knowledgeable and my prowess with the staff was still growing.
So why take a break and venture home? I said a hurtful thing when I said to Xena sometimes you need to be around family. That I could talk more easily with Lila. While it was a time when we were still learning to communicate properly, it was a slap to Xena's face.
I remember the expression upon Xena's face. I wished I'd said what I had differently. Regrets. We all have them. This is one of mine. Even wording something differently could make all the difference in the world.
One thing I learned from my time in Poteidaia was the fact I'd learned more than I could have ever thought from my soulmate. Sometimes merely observing someone is more invaluable than sitting being taught.
I was learning from the best warrior in the known world. I was lucky. Yet, my confidence in myself wavered. I can't explain it. Was it the way I was raised? The village as a whole? Or was it no one, besides my mother, had encouraged me.
When leaving Poteidaia to follow Xena, Lila had made fun of me saying she could beat me up. While it was true, it had hurt. It was as much what affected me as anything not having the self confidence in myself.
I'm off topic once again, but only slightly this time. After all, the events of the past, whether distant or more recent, affect us. They leave a mark on us. It's part of why I needed to return home. It's why I needed to learn home is where the heart is. Again.
THE PRODIGAL
Playing the flute was not something Gabrielle normally did. In fact, she hadn't played one since Lila was young. Her sister had been full of energy as a youth. Sometimes the only way to calm her was with music.
Gabrielle wasn't even certain why she was playing the flute. It was annoying Argo that's for certain. It was probably annoying Xena, not that the warrior princess would admit that.
What had made Gabrielle think of Orpheus? It was the music. It was wanting to be more than she was. To be useful, in anyway possible. The insecurity was unreal. Where was this coming from?
Was it because Gabrielle had been kidnapped and nearly foiled Xena's plan once again? It couldn't be because she was afraid the warrior princess would leave her behind somewhere. Or was it?
Before Gabrielle could truly think about the reasons why, another bad guy was blocking their path. He was making it clear they were wanted for their bodies. It was a disturbing thought indeed.
After watching Xena easily dispatch the men, Gabrielle found herself frozen. The men were using the wagon as a weapon. All she had to do was lie on her back. She heard Xena's warnings, yet she couldn't move. Why?
The men were like true cowards and ran off after their wagon was shattered. Gabrielle stood frozen, staring at the splintered wagon. It could so easily have been her that had been shattered. If it weren't for Xena once again saving her…
Was she all right? Gabrielle was far from all right. Once again, she had done something that had placed them both in danger. She had made Xena think quick on her feet. While she knew there was a part of the warrior princess that loved to improvise, she hated herself for once again placing them both in great danger.
Xena was correct in saying they'd been in tighter spots. But the fact was, Gabrielle had frozen. There was no great danger, not really. Yet, she had not been able to act. Why?
The warrior princess shrugged it off saying everyone freezes. Xena doesn't. How could she understand what the bard was dealing with?
Act don't react. It sounded simple. Gabrielle should have been able to act. But she wasn't able to even react. The fact Xena couldn't understand…
No, Gabrielle couldn't continue to place Xena in danger. Not until she discovered why she had not been able to react. It was tearing her apart to not be with her warrior princess, but she needed distance.
For once, it wasn't even because she was in love with Xena. For once, Gabrielle needed someone who had known her since the beginning. So why had she said family? They'd both said they were one another's family.
The worse part of all was the fact Gabrielle didn't know if she were to return. She loved Xena with every breath she took, but if she couldn't figure things out, she couldn't be with the warrior princess.
The tone of voice and the expression on Xena's face was heartbreaking. It was beyond words. Gabrielle only hoped she was doing the right thing. Now, to find a way back home. To her sister. To the people who had known her the longest.
Gabrielle hadn't been ready for how long a voyage it would be. At times, she lost track of exactly where they were they traveled so far and wide. The fact the map wouldn't fold was infuriating.
What Gabrielle had to do just to get a ride. Her last resort wasn't one she was exactly proud of. What were the odds that the same man who had given her a ride when she first sought Xena would be the man who would give her a ride now.
A walk through the woods reminded Gabrielle of how many times she and Lila would go exploring as children. Though most of the time hard work was their childhood, there were times of play. And exploring the forest was one of those ways.
Nothing could have prepared Gabrielle for what she come upon. A man burying his wife and his son. All because some greedy warlord killed without thought. How was the man even able to function?
How Gabrielle had wanted to stay and comfort the man, though there was probably no comfort to be had. Her home village was in trouble. If there was anything she could do to help, she had to hurry.
Gabrielle wasn't ready for a big surprise. After all, she wasn't expected. So it was old news that Damon and his men were on their way to Poteidaia. The surprise wasn't for the bard. It was for the famous Meleager.
It had hurt how Lila brushed off Gabrielle's appearance. What was worse was how she had asked for the woman wonder. Yet, the bard knew Xena was the fighter and mastermind. Still…
Meleager showed up just as they were arguing over his feat. Which was to have killed a quarter of a thousand men. While it was in defense of others, the number was quite staggering. And sickening.
But not as sickening as the fact Meleager was dead drunk. Somehow, Gabrielle and Lila were roped into taking care of the passed out warrior. Why? Because the bard was friends with Xena.
But Gabrielle had no experience taking care of someone who had abused alcohol. True, Xena enjoyed her port as much as the next warrior, but she new her limits. Plus, she knew she couldn't allow herself to completely let go. She always had to be on edge.
Once again, Lila was verbally smacking the bard. Something was happening, but Gabrielle couldn't understand just what. True, she had been gone longer than she had planned. But to be as cold as Lila was now?
Meleager was more than an embarrassment. Gabrielle could do better seeing the condition of the warrior. Belching as he's introduced. Saying how thirsty he was. It was beyond anything the bard had witnessed to date.
Money? Was that what was driving Meleager? Gabrielle held her tongue. She knew if she were to say Xena would never work for money or be drunk or any of the behaviors on display, Lila would most likely say something about not being there for her and her real family.
Wow. A meat skewer was more reliable than Gabrielle? Lila truly was angry the bard had remained away so long. It wasn't the time, but they truly needed to speak. It was why she had returned. It was why she had wanted to make things right.
Just as they were about to possibly begin truly communicating, some of Damon's men were spotted. They had to come up with a makeshift plan. Dangling the still unconscious Meleager was not easy. But it was effective. For now…
Lila was right, to an extent. People needed something to fight for. They needed the courage to fight, even if it was for their very lives. Gabrielle had seen it before. It was part of the story of her warrior princess.
Meleager definitely would be surprised at just how much Gabrielle knew. How much she had seen. While she had been born and raised on a farm, she had traveled with the warrior princess for how long now.
After listening to Meleager go on, it suddenly hit Gabrielle. It wasn't that Meleager wasn't a warrior. It wasn't that he wasn't brave. It was simple and terrifying. Meleager had lost his edge and used alcohol to numb the sensation.
Even with all the pain, violence and blood Meleager had been witness to, there had to be a better way of drowning out the memories. But then, Gabrielle hadn't any need to drown out any memories.
When sober, it was amazing how on the same page Meleager and Gabrielle thought. Without realizing it, the bard was showing just how much she and Meleager had in common. And that was because of Xena.
Gabrielle didn't have time to explain what she and Meleager had planned. Yet, the jealousy was obvious. Had the bard chosen Xena over her own sister? Clearly that's what Lila thought all this time.
Had Gabrielle come home for good? She wasn't so certain. What she was certain of was that she had to set the record straight. She had to make Lila see that it wasn't always easy to remain in touch.
But Gabrielle could understand the fact it would seem like she was ignoring her past. There had been how many times when she had wanted to come home. If only so she could distance herself from the warrior princess and her feelings for her.
Once again, it was with ease that Gabrielle took charge. While she would have loved Lila to accompany her, it would be easier for one to go after Meleager and hopefully save him. She was entrusting Lila with the most important task of all. Making certain the people of their village didn't lose hope.
Why was it every time Gabrielle was captured or worse? Meleager was in danger, true, but he most likely could have gotten out of the situation himself. Or maybe it was advantageous that she had arrived.
Luckily, Meleager thought fast on his feet. It was insulting, yet Gabrielle knew it was a very valid way to entice someone to go against his beliefs. Still, it was chilling as she was tossed into the tent.
It took a moment for them to come up with a plan. It was a simple one. Make it sound like Meleager was mighty in every sense of the word. It lulled the guards into a sense of ease. It made taking them out simple.
Taking care of the horses would slow down Damon and his men, but only for so long. There was much to be done and little time to do it in. Gabrielle only hoped they could accomplish half of what Xena would do.
With Meleager in the village, they had that warrior. Though when he had said Gabrielle was a warrior, she couldn't agree with him. The village needed him, not her.
Preparations were made. All was ready. Gabrielle decided now was the time. She could have a discussion with Lila. She hadn't meant to startle her sister or make her feel bad. Just wanted to spend actual time with her.
As they had prepared, Gabrielle had watched her sister. It was amazing how much Lila had grown as a person. She was as take charge as the bard had ever been. It was something she had to tell her she had witnessed.
Gabrielle hated to hear Lila speak about herself that way. But it was how the bard had felt and why she had chosen to follow Xena. A chance meeting in a clearing forever changed Gabrielle's life.
It was true. Gabrielle realized why she needed to come home. It wasn't about freezing during a battle that placed herself and Xena in danger, though that was a part of it. It was the connection she had with Lila. And had been missing all these months.
Xena would be proud of how Gabrielle and the others responded to Damon's men. Of course, they all had to be convinced as Meleager had disappeared. Hearing Lila describe her had the bard nearly in tears.
The villagers were able to use tricks taught by the warrior princess. It had gone smoothly. The only problem? With or without Meleager, they would return. They would keep returning.
Pharis was a coward. Though in some ways, Gabrielle could understand why the village elder wanted to work with Damon. It was true taking them by surprise was one thing. Having to truly fight would not be easy.
Timing was everything. As if it were Xena coming to the rescue, Meleager arrived just in time. He managed to save Gabrielle, just like the warrior princess would have. It was fun to watch him at work. But not as much fun as watching Xena.
The best part was how Gabrielle could help. Act don't react. It was one of the last things Xena had attempted to teach her. Not that she hadn't been missing her the entire time, it was just being able to use her teachings…
It was as if Lila could read her mind. Gabrielle didn't want to leave. She wanted to remain. And yet, her place was at Xena's side. They had so many adventures left together. Perhaps, the greatest adventure of all to be had.
Wise words from Lila. Gabrielle's life was on the road. But it wasn't merely that. It was the fact Xena was her soulmate. Perhaps one day one would have the guts to inform the other the depths of their feelings.
Until then, Gabrielle hoped to keep her promise. She would visit every so often and definitely would write more often. It was what family did, was it not? Love one another and allow them to live the lives they were destined to.
It was as if Gabrielle was back to the beginning. Well, the beginning of their latest adventure. Instead of freezing, she acted. It felt natural as she catapulted herself over the wagon. Still, she was outnumbered.
But Xena arrived just as things looked the darkest. Gabrielle was grateful for the timing and seeing her warrior princess once again. It was as if a part of her had been missing. She hadn't known it until reuniting with Xena.
Gabrielle was bubbly. Why? Not only was she walking next to her warrior princess, Xena had been heading towards the village to see how things were working out. Instead of becoming mushy, things became a joke of sorts.
It was how they stepped into the roles they had become accustomed to. Stepping outside of them was something that might never happen. Yet, in her heart, Gabrielle knew one day she would be able to be more to Xena than merely a cherished traveling companion.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Xena noticed how her bard was in high spirits. Was it interacting with the King of Thieves? Or was it something else? With Gabrielle, one couldn't always tell. But the music she was playing was adorable, if not getting on her nerves.
The warrior princess had to laugh as Argo made it known she wasn't thrilled with the bard's flute playing. But when she made it sound like she could be anything like Orpheus, Xena cringed.
It wasn't at the thought of Gabrielle wielding such power. It was the reminder of Orpheus. How she hated it. What she had done. The battle was her own doing. It had cost yet another innocent their life.
Luckily, Xena was distracted by another round of ruffians. The kind that wanted your money and to misuse the opposite sex. It didn't take much to dispatch them. Unfortunately, the warrior princess was staring down a moving target.
That target was moving at a great deal of speed towards her bard. Xena called out but Gabrielle froze. The warrior princess managed to knock them both to the ground, without hurting Gabrielle.
The men ran off leaving a shaken bard behind. Why had Gabrielle frozen? So far, the bard had acted, not reacted. Xena made certain she knew that was the secret. Yet, her bard would not believe her.
Or was it couldn't believe her? Xena was hurt when Gabrielle said she needed family. Hadn't it been established family didn't necessarily mean blood. There wasn't anything the warrior princess wouldn't do for her bard.
Watching Gabrielle walk away reminded Xena of her adventure alone last time. She hadn't confided in Gabrielle what had happened while the bard was off at her competition. So much had happened.
Yet, it had happened in the blink of an eye. Xena had acted. She had helped a stranger who was being attacked by some unknown assailant for an unknown reason. It had left a man with a sword through the chest. Xena never did know what had happened to the man.
Perhaps one day she would discover. Until then, Xena had to keep herself occupied. There was always helping another in need. Would that be enough to distract the warrior princess?
As Xena traveled, she found herself navigating towards her bard's home village. It wasn't surprising. There was something about the bard. It had been the same when Gabrielle had been in Athens. Xena had found herself in the direction of the academy.
It was rather boring without Gabrielle. While Xena was a trouble magnet, it seemed her bard was even more so. Was it the fact the bard had such a zest for life? She craved adventure so that she could write about it?
At a village not far from Potidaea, Xena heard a tale of a village under attack by a warlord. It wasn't Potidaea, but it could mean the warlord, some unknown by the name of Damon, was attempting to make a name for himself with Gabrielle's home village.
Now the pull to return to where Xena had last seen Gabrielle was stronger than ever. In fact, the warrior princess moved with speed and grace. She left Argo behind so she could get the drop on the bad guys.
Timing was everything, as usual. Xena arrived just in time to witness Gabrielle vaulting over the cart. It was something to behold. In fact, it was something the warrior princess would have to keep in mind in the future.
While Gabrielle could handle herself in a fight, it was time Xena made her presence known. It was with ease she took out those attempting to harm her bard. Things were returning to some semblance of normal.
Unfortunately, that normal would mean Xena would have to hide her feelings. It was easy when Gabrielle joked about things. To make it into something of a comedy was a way to make it easy on the warrior princess.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
There was so much running through Gabrielle's mind. She had returned home. She had helped stop a warlord. More importantly, she had reconnected with Lila. And learned her little sister wasn't so little anymore.
Having spoken of Xena so often as they planned on ways to fight off Damon and his men had kept Gabrielle from thinking too much. The traveling there had given her some time to reflect. But it wasn't the same as constantly having her thoughts being invaded by the warrior princess.
Now, they were walking side by side. They were on their way to the next adventure. Gabrielle was exhausted. It wasn't so much from the physical exertion as it was the emotional. She hadn't even realized how homesick she truly was.
That being said, Gabrielle had been just as homesick not having Xena by her side. It was a double edged sword, in a way. What it meant was she had to be more diligent in keeping in contact with her family, especially Lila.
That was the thing that had Gabrielle so quiet. Her parents hadn't been home. They had been traveling to sell some of their goods. It showed how much Lila had grown if her father trusted her home alone.
Xena wasn't certain what to think of her quiet companion. Before Gabrielle had ventured to her home village, she had been talkative and had been annoying with the flute. Now, she was barely acknowledging the warrior princess.
It was simple. Gabrielle had been home. Xena remembered what it had been like to leave Cyrene behind. Though it had been a painful reunion, in the end, her mother had forgiven her.
Leaving had been the most difficult thing Xena had ever done. Even more difficult than when she had returned to Amphipolis to face her past. As Draco had said, sometimes people won't allow you to change.
There's also how easy it is to believe the bad stuff. Xena hoped Gabrielle was all right. The warrior princess should ask how her bard was handling being home. The story was probably aching to be told.
"So, what exactly happened while you were home?" Xena kept her gaze forward. The sun wasn't even close to setting. They had at least two more hours of daylight left, before they would have to seek a campsite.
"I met a living legend." Gabrielle didn't know how else to put it. The stories of Meleager were known far and wide. It would be shocking if Xena hadn't heard of the warrior.
"Do tell." Xena knew she was opening a bag of fish. But the silence was becoming too great for the warrior princess. It was the worst thing she had experienced each time she had been separated from Gabrielle. The known world shattering silence.
"Ever heard of Meleager the Mighty?" Xena couldn't help looking at her bard. "I thought you might have." This was the interesting part. "He wasn't exactly what I thought he would be."
It didn't take Xena long to read between the lines. Either Meleager had lost a step or he had been driven to what some old warriors are driven to. Drinking or some other way of suppressing the images imprinted on one's mind. "How so?"
Gabrielle didn't want to offend Xena or imply it could happen to her. But she had to tell her warrior princess of her experience. "When I first met him, he was drunk. It became clear he couldn't function without drinking."
"Sadly, it happens to the best of warriors." Xena took a deep breath. "When I was a warlord, I drank more than I should have. Though I had a lust for blood, even I sometimes had trouble stomaching all that I did."
It was the last thing the bard thought her warrior princess would confess. "It was that way for Meleager. Having your death counts retold couldn't have been easy. After all, it's how most value how amazing a warrior one is."
"I was in that class, once upon a time." Xena wished the sun would sink faster. She could then escape to training or hunting or whatever else presented itself. These were the emotions, along with her feelings for her bard, Xena would prefer to avoid.
"I know." Gabrielle remembered the lesson well. And she had witnessed those attempting to be the one who killed Xena. "I really do hope there is one day when war isn't necessary. That we can talk through our differences."
"It would be nice." Xena was certain it would never happen in her lifetime. Oh, there were times when talking through things had happened already in their travels. But to become the norm…?
"That would mean there would need to be more like me in the world." Gabrielle couldn't help giggling. She wasn't certain Xena could handle more than one of her. She wasn't certain she would be able to handle more than one of herself.
Xena halted in her steps. She turned towards her bard. "Gabrielle, there is no one in the known world like you. While you can fight and defend, you always choose your words. You would rather see peace than you would anything else."
Gabrielle swallowed. She hadn't been fishing for a compliment. She hadn't even been thinking along the lines that there could be more than one of herself. The expression on Xena's face and the tone of her voice caused the bard to blush ever so slightly.
"Just like there can be no one like you." Gabrielle continued the way they had been headed. "Except lookalikes. After all, there is Princess Diana."
The warrior princess shook her head. What were the odds of another woman looking like her? Xena hoped they would never come across another. "That's true. But she's far from me."
Just like that, things became serious for Gabrielle. No one was like her warrior princess. Having been away from Xena for so long, why couldn't she say to her warrior princess she was in love with her?
They continued to walk in silence until Gabrielle's stomach made itself known. She hadn't eaten much, as there weren't many supplies in her home village and they hadn't taken time to eat before making their way to their next adventure.
"I smell water." Xena didn't know the area all that well. "I think if we head to the east, we can find water and shelter." The warrior princess was ready to settle in for the night. She sensed a change in her bard.
It was the change that often came after emotions were hinted at. This was yet another way to prolong not having to face what expressing their love for one another would mean. Including how dangerous it could be for Gabrielle to be known as her lover.
It wasn't long before they were settled next to a rather large lake. There was a waterfall. It reminded Xena of the one Gabrielle had been injured. The time when she had confessed her love, but there was no memory of her words.
Just like that, Xena was in a mood. She attempted not to show it. But she knew her stoic face would invite some kind of inquisition by her bard. Or would she be lucky enough that Gabrielle would want to begin the story of her own adventure.
As it happened, Gabrielle was already settling on her own bedroll. Xena made quick work of fishing. The bard took a moment to cook the fish her warrior princess had caught before returning to her writing.
Instead of remaining up because she was conflicted, Gabrielle was awake because of the story. For once, she was the hero, sort of. Though she would give Meleager the credit, if not for the bard…
Surprisingly, there were soft snores from the other bedroll. While Gabrielle had written, Xena had slept. It wasn't normal. But then again, the bard was realizing something. No matter whether they traveled as friends or lovers, one thing was for certain. There was no such normal. And she would enjoy every second with her true family.