Family. It's always been so important to us both. There are some difficult memories that I can't face at the moment. I know as I continue these chronicles, I'll have to force myself to.

Until then, I'll focus on the fact that Xena, even after we admitted our feelings, continued to keep things from me. Things that were something one should share with their soulmate.

I'm not judging Xena or saying she was wrong. I'm saying that, without her dark past, my soulmate would have confided in me. She would have informed me she had a living, older brother.

There's also the matter of her son. But again, memories associated with Solan cut me to the very core. I attempt to hold onto the happy memories when it comes to our son.

I have to swallow and take a moment. So many painful memories. It's why I write these chronicles, partly. Mostly, it's to hold onto all the love we've shared.

Meeting Toris was…I can't put into words exactly what it was like. To me, Toris was more like Xena than either cared to admit.

The one thing that separated them was the one thing that nearly destroyed Toris. It was, simply, self-confidence. If only Toris had believed in himself and the villagers, he might not have been afraid and hid.

Not that I could blame him. Before I met Xena, I'm not certain what I would have done in the same exact position. I've always been different, and in my own way a fighter, but before my soulmate I lacked self-confidence.

The years were not kind to Toris. He continued to allow the guilt to eat away at him. He even abandoned Cyrene when she could have used him the most. It probably added to his guilt

Eventually the guilt turned to a need for vengeance. Something Xena knew a great deal about, but I was still learning. I wouldn't know what true vengeance was until…

I take a breath. I'm handed hot cider. The evenings now have a chill to them. There are better ways to warm up and will happen later tonight, if a certain warrior princess behaves herself.

I receive a playful swat to my shoulder as Xena settles near the fire. Soon, the project she has been working upon will be complete. As with my soulmate, her timing will be impeccable.

My thoughts return to Toris. I wish we could have done more for the young man. I wish we could have made him see that seeking revenge was not the answer.

Worst, Toris could never believe that his mother would forgive him. He spent the rest of his years wandering, much like we did.

Unlike us, Toris never discovered love. He never allowed himself to be loved. He never realized what my soulmate learned.

One can live a full life without forgiving one's self or accepting the forgiveness of others. One can put aside the guilt and hate one has for themselves, if only for the sake of others.

At first, Xena chose a child's life. After that, she chose fighting for those that could not fight for themselves. I think that's what kept her going.

There was making her mother proud once again. But then, we met. She began to see the world as I did. It wasn't all warlords, anger, hate, dinars, power and vengeance.

We were saddened when we heard of Toris' death. It was alone. After wandering for twenty plus years, he had settled outside a small village as far from Amphipolis as he could. But he never had family or friends. If only Toris had learned what his sister had…

DEATHMASK

Learning. It was something Gabrielle could never get enough of. There were some things that Xena refused to teach her, such as the pinch. The bard would never stop trying.

Catching arrows was one of the more amazing skills Xena possessed. Gabrielle had been fascinated the first time she had witnessed the amazing feat. But how could one do such a thing, even as talented as her soulmate was?

Stop trying? Gabrielle couldn't understand what Xena was attempting to tell her. How could she attempt to stop trying, without fear of the arrow meeting its target?

Body has to listen? Gabrielle was more confused than ever. Though there were times when she would sit by the fire and somehow sensed when Xena was near. It could be because of their newfound love. Or it could be something more.

Definitely would have her if Gabrielle failed to hear the arrow coming. It was not something she wanted to think about. Not after how close her soulmate had recently come to meeting her demise. Or how she herself had been dangling how high above the ground as two warriors fought. One to free her. One to allow her to fall to her death.

Gabrielle merely reacted. Her staff came in handy as it caught the arrow. Finally, she had done it. How had she done it? Once again, Xena was telling her to get back. Hadn't the bard shown she could fight by now?

With luck, Gabrielle didn't need her warrior's help. As she said, not this time. Next time, the bard might not be so lucky. And she would eternally need her soulmate.

Now it was time to discover who the man was and why they had attacked. The pinch. Once again, Gabrielle wanted to ask to be shown. But now was not the time. Would there be a time?

The way Xena reacted to the name Cortese, Gabrielle knew it had special meaning. It was a warlord, given. But who was it and what connection did he have to Xena?

The man who had attacked Xena's village. Gabrielle had only known her warrior had been protecting Amphipolis from a warlord. That it had cost her brother his life and led the warrior princess down a road of darkness and revenge.

Or aggressive as Gabrielle had politely attempted to describe what Xena had turned into. Twisted was a better way of describing the destroyer of nations.

The first thing Gabrielle saw when they made it to the village was the little girl. She heard the woman calling for Leia. The bard had to think fast to save her.

It didn't take much to run the warriors out of the village. Just as soldiers arrived. What Gabrielle couldn't understand was why they hadn't continued the chase.

Gabrielle hated to think the warriors would get away with attempting to loot and destroy the village, all because of boundaries. Of course the captain noticed how well Xena fought.

The fact the captain admitted that it had to be Cortese because he was always one step ahead caused Gabrielle to shudder. It could mean a lot of things. A spy. Someone taking a bribe. The times being what they were…

Tracking the warriors didn't mean Gabrielle couldn't continue to wonder about how Xena caught arrows the way she did. Had she truly felt the warrior haze as she caught the arrow? Or was she just saying that. The fact it would only take one time missing…

The stranger upon a horse wearing the mask of Cortese interrupted Gabrielle's musings. He remained as if studying them or inviting them to meet.

Brother? Gabrielle was under the impression Lyceus had been killed by Cortese, or at least one of his men. Older brother? Yet another thing Xena had kept from the bard.

Everyone had surprises it seemed. Xena hadn't revealed her older brother. And Toris was now revealing he wore the mask of Cortese so that he could kill him.

Instead of speaking, a campfire was made. Food was being prepared. No one was speaking. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, for the bard.

Gabrielle bridged the silence by referencing her sister and her cooking skills. That was followed up by how she and Lila had argued quite a bit. Finally, she attempted to show how it should be a touching reunion since brother and sister hadn't seen one another in so many years.

Leave it to her warrior princess to be direct. Assassin was perhaps a little strong of a word. In a way, it was how one could describe Toris.

Already it was clear that Toris was only interested in revenge. He was sounding a little too like Melas. In other words, Toris would do nearly anything to gain his revenge.

Justice? Gabrielle needed to interrupt this boisterous reunion. Xena didn't want to see her brother follow her path. Toris couldn't understand what true justice was.

Feed Argo? It took a moment for Gabrielle to understand the siblings needed a moment or two alone. Luckily, she and Argo had come to an understanding.

It seemed like an eternity but was only a few moments. When Gabrielle returned, she was asked to guard the village. There was no way she would be left behind when there was adventure to be had.

Gabrielle only hoped she wasn't to stern when she made certain Xena knew she knew what her warrior princess had been up to. Until there was a plan, she would practice with her staff.

It wasn't long before Toris had returned. He was pacing wondering why it was taking Xena so long to return. Gabrielle was relaxing by continuing with her staff.

Fifteen or twenty? Might take a little bit, but Xena would easily be able to escape. Hopefully she would have the answers they needed.

What was Gabrielle doing? She was practicing what Xena had imparted on her. Listening with her body. It wasn't as easy as it sounded.

Doing to Gabrielle as Xena had done to their village? What exactly did that mean? While it was true the bard was learning to fight and was in danger, it was her choice. She had begged for Xena to take her with her. Toris knew not of what he spoke of.

In any case, why was Toris so worried? Gabrielle had to point out the fact he remained and had expressed concern. Of course, he denied it.

Xena chose that moment to return. Gabrielle was grateful. There was something about Toris she just didn't like. She couldn't quite place her finger upon it.

Gabrielle chose to be overexuberant in her greeting of her warrior princess, if only to show Toris what true concern sounded like.

Messenger pigeons with the royal crest upon it. That meant there was a spy in the castle. It meant Cortese knew everything the king knew. It made things that much more difficult.

At Xena's tone, Gabrielle knew it was time to guard the village. Was it really easier for two to gain access than three? In a way, yes. But the bard knew it was so her warrior princess could keep track of Toris easier.

How was one to occupy themselves when they would rather be where the action was? Gabrielle would continue to train. It was her new friend Leia sending arrows at her. Unfortunately, the bard was not very successful in repeating her one-time achievement.

In a way, Gabrielle was grateful when Xena and Toris returned. It prevented more abuse by the fake arrows. However, the news that the king and Cortese were one in the same was not happy news.

Murder? Gabrielle had to swallow. She'd seen murder. It was not justice. The bard wanted to inform Toris exactly what she knew about justice and murder.

For now, Gabrielle was more concerned with her new little friend and the rest of the villagers. They were the ones who were suffering. Not a man Tartarus bent on revenge.

Once again, Gabrielle had to attempt to use her words to convince someone Xena was there to help them. While she understood, in a way, the warrior princess' presence actually placed them in danger, she was there to fight for their freedom.

It wasn't Xena's reputation this time that was banishing her. In a way, Gabrielle knew it was for the best. The villagers would be safer, at least in the immediate future.

Now that both the king's army and the raiders were searching for them, the village was better off without them. Even before Xena had said it, part of Gabrielle had known. At least she was able to remain.

Especially since Toris had disappeared during the distraction. It was up to Xena to find him, save him and end Cortese' reign of terror. Once and for all.

It wasn't long after Xena had left to save her brother that Sera was running up. Gabrielle had known it was a possibility, but always expected her warrior princess to pull through without her needing rescuing.

As always, it was entertaining once Gabrielle caught up to Xena. A fight. But it ended unlike most would ever expect. Cortese, aka the king, ordered the raiders to surrender.

There was one that refused to lay down his sword. Gabrielle watched as he was defeated by her soulmate. And watched as Toris was given the opportunity to take revenge upon Cortese.

Xena described it perfectly. There was blood upon the warrior princess' hands that would never wash off. It might only be in her mind, but it would forever remain. Gabrielle knew how proud Lyceus would be after Toris dropped his sword, even without having met the young man.

Gabrielle watched as Toris screamed in agony but allowed for his sword to fall to the ground. Revenge was easy to crave. But it wasn't always easy to take, if you were like Toris or the bard.

Gabrielle waited at the temporary encampment as Xena said goodbye to her brother. The bard had wanted to get to know Toris better, if only to understand her warrior princess better.

It wasn't easy. Loving someone and they not sharing things with you. Gabrielle had not shared everything. But it was different. Xena refused to tell her the most obvious. And it hurt. More than the bard would ever admit.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena had never thought she was a teacher. But the more she and her bard traveled together, she couldn't help but impart some of her wisdom.

There were a few skills that Xena would, hopefully, never share with her bard. Catching arrows was not one the warrior princess preferred to share. If only because if one were to miss…

It was difficult to put into words that Gabrielle might be able to understand. It went back to Lao Ma and what she had attempted to teach her.

Stop willing. Stop trying. If one is able to do both, one can do many things. One of them was to sense things even without seeing them.

And if one misses…? It wasn't something Xena wanted to think about. She had just admitted her feelings for her bard. There was no way she could lose her.

If there wasn't immediate danger, Xena would have taken the time to be impressed. She might even tell Gabrielle how amazing it had been for her to catch the arrow with her staff.

It was becoming clearer how great a fighter Gabrielle was becoming. Xena hated to see it, for many reasons. One was how her bard might one day surpass her and not need her.

Back to the man Xena had defeated. She would know the mask anywhere. It was what had led to this moment. The darkness. The evil. The ruthlessness. Thankfully to the path she was on now.

The pinch. Most would give anything for it to be taken off. It was Cortese as Xena had thought. Attacking the village, of course.

Who was Cortese? Xena hated to answer but knew she must. He was the one who had created the being that Ares was able to mold into the warrior princess.

Aggressive? That was one way to describe how Xena was. It was better to term it as twisted. And in some ways, was still the right word.

Once again, the warrior's skills came in handy. It wasn't long before the raiders were retreating. Gabrielle had saved a young girl. Another reason to love her and be proud of her.

Just as the last of the raiders was retreating, the king's soldiers arrived. There was a border they couldn't cross. It left it up to Xena to find where the raiders were encamped.

In some ways, Xena wished she could be more like Gabrielle. She was obsessed with how she had caught the arrow. The warrior princess was no longer capable to look at the past. She had to look to the future. But most importantly, focus on the present.

The thought of the lone arrow nearly caused Xena to become sick. On too many occasions, the warrior princess had nearly lost her bard already. The last time to a woman Xena was technically responsible for creating.

As soon as Toris revealed himself, Xena knew she would have a great deal of explaining. She had neglected to inform Gabrielle of her brother, if only because she knew she was dead to him.

Seeing Toris brought back so many memories. Ones Xena attempted to keep buried. Even though she loved Lyceus more than anything in the world, she couldn't focus on that part of her life. Not and continue seeking redemption.

The mask. The one that Xena would never forget had adorned Toris' face. It was so he could grow closer to Cortese. And then what?

Kill him. Xena knew what that could lead to. It wasn't revenge. It was murder. The blood would forever be staining Toris' hands if he were to do as he intended.

Once again, Xena found herself sitting by a campfire. Gabrielle was cooking. More than that, she was attempting to bridge the gap between siblings.

It was not exactly what Xena had meant to say. But it was an apt description for what Toris was becoming. The moment he killed Cortese, he could be considered nothing less than an assassin.

Xena had to convince her brother, somehow, that killing Cortese was not justice. It would be murder, pure and simple. And someone who was pure of heart, there was no recovering from that.

Once again, Gabrielle attempted to diffuse the situation by offering something to eat. It was needed. But what was needed more was some time alone with Toris.

What did Toris see? Was it something to be proud of? In a way, yes. If only because Xena and Lyceus had chosen to fight. To stand up for their entire village, instead of running to the hills.

But after Lyceus had perished, no, that was something not to be proud of. Yet, Xena would fight again if it meant saving her village. She would hopefully be able to succeed, without so much loss of life.

Though Xena knew it would most likely be rejected, she had to attempt to have Gabrielle return to the village. She needed more time alone with her brother. Plus, it would be easier with just the two of them.

The way Gabrielle stood up to her…? Xena couldn't help smiling. Her bard was growing into a strong, young woman before her very eyes. Their shared love had something to do with that, she was certain. Still…

Though Xena wanted to say as much, now was the time to make certain Cortese was taken care of. Once and for all. Malik. She hadn't heard of him but it didn't mean he wasn't dangerous. In fact, she was counting on what he would do to women.

Xena knew Toris didn't want to leave her at the mercy of the others. Even without having met in years, he had to know her reputation. She could handle herself in most situations.

Get right to it? Malik was her kind of man. Except that he was pure evil and would have harmed her on so many levels. It was worth it finding the paper with the royal crest upon it.

The greeting from her bard was a little more exuberant than usual. It must have something to do with how Toris was reacting to the situation.

Toris was getting on her nerves. Xena knew he wanted his revenge, but he had to believe in her. That she knew what she was doing.

A spy would be one reason for the royal crest. But there could be another explanation. It wasn't something Xena thought could be but knew by now that anything was possible.

It was time to see the king. But it meant Gabrielle needed to remain in the village. While the bard was not happy about it, for now she was understanding.

Xena used her normal way of persuasion to gain access to the castle. Their path was impeded by the captain. He didn't believe there was a spy yet allowed them access.

Leaving the weapons on the throne was not what Xena wanted, but to gain access to the king, it would be worth it. And when the king was revealed, it was the man Xena had sought since her village had been attacked.

Cortese easily baited Toris. Xena wouldn't fall for anything the warlord had to say. She would attempt to make him make the mistake.

Yes, it was cunning the scheme Cortese had devised. He could raid with his raiders and come back to the palace to live the life of luxury.

The plan was simple. Give Xena to the people so that the king saved face and Cortese could continue to raid the surrounding lands.

It wasn't fair, but the trap would hold the guards until they could go after Cortese. The coward had run when the odds weren't to his liking.

Taking out the next string of guards meant not harming them. Xena had an idea. It was something they had done as children. Their mother had hated it, but it had been so much fun and had made doing the chores a little more tolerable.

The elders needed to be consulted. The fact Cortese and the king were one in the same should change things. What did change things was the fact Xena was now wanted by the king. It meant they couldn't stay.

Toris still didn't understand murdering Cortese would not bring justice. It would rid the world of a warlord, but at what cost to her brother's soul?

If Toris only knew how Xena put up with Gabrielle. But that was something for another time. It was true her bard knew more about just than anyone she had ever met.

After listening to Toris, Xena was beginning to understand. But she needed him to put it into words. He was blaming himself for not fighting and for Lycues' death.

How could Xena get him to see? Killing Cortese would not ease the guilt that Toris felt each and every day. That nothing could make up for his actions or inactions. He had to learn to deal with it.

It was one vow Xena hoped to follow through with. She would do just about anything to keep from losing another brother. Especially to his own guilt.

It didn't surprise Xena that the elders didn't believe her. Worse was how Toris had left without her sensing him. She knew exactly where to find him.

It was no surprise Toris was gone or that it was a trap. One arrow and her brother would end in flames. She couldn't allow Malik to fully win. One more painful hit to the head.

In prison. It wasn't someplace Xena liked, but it did gain them access to the castle once again. However, Toris wasn't speaking to her. And when he did, Xena wanted to hurt him. It was his time. How could it not end badly with thoughts such as those?

Perhaps relating how Xena never had time to feel. Even after beating Cortese, she never felt anything. It became about greed. It became about power. Anything that could help her to forget Lyceus' death.

Was it as simple as premeditation? There had been a time when Xena had enjoyed a good kill. Now, she killed to save herself in battle. More importantly, she killed to save the life of innocents who could not defend themselves.

They managed to share a moment. Toris was sorry he had dragged her into this but was glad Xena was with him. It was a start. One she hoped would continue.

The captain wouldn't believe that Cortese was the king. But it served Xena's purpose. They managed to free themselves. When the captain informed them of the king's whereabouts, Xena knew he was lying. But first, a message was in order.

It all happened so fast, as it often did. A fight. Cortese was defeated. Malik wouldn't surrender but was taken care of. It left Toris to gain his version of justice.

Lyces would be proud. Toris had felt the hate and anger. He had even attempted to follow through with his plan. But in the end, he had allowed for true justice to be had.

Toris missed her. She had missed him. She understood how easy it was not to say it. It was time for Toris to return home. Hopefully, he would personally tell their mother she was alive and doing well.

One day, Xena would return to Amphipolis. It was too soon. One day, she would tell the one person in the world how much she loved Gabrielle. For now, it would remain between the two of them.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

A part Xena wanted to remain to see Cortese finally face justice. But there was another part that needed to distance herself.

In one way, Xena felt they were headed in the wrong direction. It would have been wonderful to truly catch up with Toris and to visit her mother.

It was too soon. Even with all the good deeds Xena and her soulmate had managed to perform together. Even with news that Xena was, in a way, settled with her soulmate.

There was something else Xena was worrying about. Had Toris begun to heal? Or was he still holding onto the years of guilt and frustration?

If Toris was anything like Xena, he could not easily begin the healing process. If it weren't for her bard, the warrior princess wouldn't be in the place she was in, mentally.

"Care for some of my specialty?" Gabrielle hated to interrupt. She could see Xena was hurting. It was why she had yet to ask about an unknown brother. Or anything else her soulmate was keeping from her.

Xena glanced across the fire. She had been staring into the flames. Toris was the only thing that could occupy her mind. Until hearing the soft request from her soulmate.

"The one with the red things?" Gabrielle nodded her head. "I'm sorry I didn't get to enjoy your meal earlier." Xena slowly rose and made her way to her soulmate.

The warrior princess knelt next to her soulmate. "I'm sorrier I didn't tell you about Toris. I should have told you, especially since we are more than just traveling companions."

Gabrielle placed the plate of her specialty near the campfire to keep it warm. "I was upset when you told me Toris was your brother. But I've learned something."

Xena wondered what her young companion had learned. "That I'm not the best when it comes to sharing my feelings or informing you of my past?"

The bard couldn't help the soft laughter. "There are some things in your past that are nearly impossible for you to think about, let alone speak of."

Gabrielle watched as her soulmate swallowed. "I'd say share if something could place us in danger, but with your past…"

A deep breath was taken. "But the fact I kept something family oriented from you…" Xena wasn't only referencing an unknown brother.

Sooner, rather than later, Xena knew she would have to tell Gabrielle about her son. The one she had left behind. If only for his safety.

"Look at me." Gabrielle was upset she hadn't been told about Toris. As she had said, there were things Xena may never be able to speak of, unless forced to. And it did hurt, but the bard understood, at least somewhat.

Cirra was one of those things. How was Xena to know there was a survivor that would seek revenge upon her? Would place untold thousands at risk?

Another was a brother who had run off, never to be heard from again. Gabrielle knew there were things she wouldn't want to speak of unless forced to.

"I will be upset when things like this come about." Gabrielle closed the distance between them. "The only thing we can do is to continue to talk, once they come to light. I don't want to force you to face anything you aren't capable of."

Azure eyes blinked several times. There were tears threatening to fall. The only one who had accepted her, faults and all, like her bard was doing now was her brother.

Not Toris. He had always been jealous of the connection between Xena and Lyceus. They seemed like kindred spirits. However, there was one major difference between them.

Xena was like Lyceus in the fact she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself and fight. Xena was more like Toris when it came to anger and blaming herself. And the need for vengeance.

Luckily, Toris hadn't taken it to the level Xena had or he never would have been able to live with himself. The warrior princess was barely able to live with her past.

If it wasn't for the understanding and love the woman before her was showing her, she might not have been able to recover. She might not be able to continue on the path she was on.

"There's only one flaw in that." Gabrielle moved away from her soulmate. Xena swallowed. "I'm not an expert on relationships, but there's one thing I do know."

Gabrielle waited. At one time, she was one of the most impatient people alive. But traveling with Xena had slowly taught herself to have some.

"Communication is the key." Xena managed to look Gabrielle in the eyes. "As I've shown twice since admitting my love for you, I'm not that great at it. Even when I should have and it nearly cost you your life."

"Xena, I love you. I love everything about you. Even the darkness because it made you who you are." Gabrielle took Xena in her arms. "There will be things that we will not be able to communicate fully."

Gabrielle continued to speak into Xena's ear. "I may make the mistake of not telling you something. It's called being a human being and making mistakes."

"Just know this. Love is what we share, as do we a soul." Gabrielle pulled back. She kissed her soulmate, surprising Xena. "We just have to overcome whenever one of us a human being."

If only the soulmates knew what lay ahead. The trials they would be placed in. And in the end, they would find one another in every lifetime.