War. It's never a good thing. But when it's a civil war, it's the worst. It places family against family. And normally for reasons that could easily be resolved, if only one is willing to actually communicate.
This was one time when we could have circumvented war. It would have taken a little longer, but the war could have waged on. Without me dying.
The sound of the door slamming doesn't surprise me. We both knew this would be one of the more difficult memories for Xena to face.
After all, had she listened to me, I wouldn't have been injured. I wouldn't have died. I wouldn't have had to fight to come back to my soulmate.
There are certain things which Xena will never forgive herself for, like there are certain things I'll never forgive myself for. Especially when those things could have been avoided.
I remember making the suggestion of taking the southern route. But Xena had been determined to take the shortest path to Athens.
Wasn't that how her life had spiraled out of control? Xena, after her brother's death, had taken the easiest path. And it had led to her life of a warlord.
I can't condemn her. She's a warrior. The shortest path is normally the easiest. Fighting is not something that one, normally, wants prolonged.
I find myself off track here. This is not about blame. There are so many things that happened during our travels that could have transpired differently.
If only we had communicated more. If only others had been honest with us. There are so many things that could have changed our paths. Our lives.
One of the many good things that came out of that day was Xenon. Without Xena's skills as a healer, he and Ephiny might not have made it.
Then there was the ending of a war. How many lives had been saved? It had taken years of healing, but those affected by the war had come to thrive.
And what about Xena and I? You would think the loss of her soulmate would have opened my soulmate more. In some ways, it made her even more silent.
There is one thing I can say for dying. It caused me to treasure life. Even more than before, if that was possible. As I've found while traveling with Xena, anything is possible.
Including dying and returning to your soulmate. It was only the first of many times we both would cease and fight to comeback.
But my first brush with death was an experience I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Yet, what happened after I returned. The way Xena became so…
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
Gabrielle had seen enough death and destruction. She didn't want to tempt fate and walk through a warzone. But her soulmate insisted it was the best course of action.
The fact this was more senseless than most wasn't lost on Gabrielle. Any war and the cost of life was horrendous. But the fact it was family against family caused it to be even more senseless.
To Gabrielle, the land didn't seem worth fighting over. But if it was the only passage between Thessaly and Mitoa, whoever controlled the passage controlled the area.
A sound Gabrielle had unfortunately heard on a few occasions caused her to pause. To ask what was it. It was someone in pain. In a warzone, that wasn't shocking.
It wasn't just anyone in pain. It was Ephiny. It wasn't only the gash causing the Amazon pain. Had it been that long since Gabrielle had seen her friend? The baby Ephiny carried was ready to be born.
War had struck once again. An innocent, attempting to defend his wife and child to be, was struck down. It left a very pregnant Ephiny to fend for herself. Hiding wasn't very warrior like, yet it was the only way.
There were too many innocents dying because of this war. There had to be a shortage of food and supplies because of the war.
When Gabrielle had said someone had to stop it, she hadn't meant her soulmate. As soon as the words had left her mouth, the bard had noticed the look in Xena's eyes. Not even she could stop a war. Could she?
There was no use in attempting to talk Xena out of ending the war. All Gabrielle could do was as her soulmate asked. Wait until the warrior princess returned and protect Ephiny to the best of her ability.
Had Gabrielle kept her mouth shut would it have made a difference? As she attempted to comfort Ephiny, the bard doubted it. This was something in Xena's nature. Where she had once been an abuser and murderer, she was now a protector. In the fiercest of ways.
Every sound, every movement caused Gabrielle to inwardly flinch. She couldn't do more than that as she aided Ephiny to walk. If they stopped, they would most likely be killed.
What difference did it make entering a healing temple? Somewhere that was safe and supposed to welcome everyone. Because of the war and the division between once joined nations, the general feared entering the temple.
As usual, Xena handled the situation in her own brazen way. The general would be held prisoner. Or slave. Gabrielle hated this, more than words can say.
At least they were initially welcomed into the temple. Ephiny could rest and prepare for the birth of her child. Gabrielle knew it would give Xena time to attempt to end the war. Was the general a part of her plan already?
Listening to the healer pray for the god to heal the soldier nearly caused Gabrielle to shake her head. She'd only been involved with one god. Granted he was the god of war, but she didn't think most gods cared whether most mortals lived or died.
Gabrielle always knew her soulmate was a nurturer, though most would disagree, but how she made certain Ephiny was comforted by saying Phantes might be gone, the child they created together was ready to come alive and therefore had to go on nearly sounded personal.
The bard went with the theme. Ephiny had to know she was surrounded by family. Since Gabrielle was technically an amazon princess, it meant Xena and she were Ephiny's family.
As always, things seemed to happen instantly. Gabrielle had been comforting Ephiny, when the wounded came in. And the head healer wouldn't allow the Mitoan soldier to be treated.
And when Xena insisted treating the soldier, the healer made certain to warn her not to touch a Thessalian soldier. Like a warning from anyone would stop the warrior princess.
It was the aftermath of war once again. Gabrielle hated this part of their travels. But having experienced what they had, it prepared her for moments like this.
Just after stabilizing the soldier, one man chose to see the beauty in Xena's healing skills. The other was too focused on the bard to appreciate what the warrior princess had accomplished. Gabrielle knew it was the difference between most mortals. Their perception of beauty.
When Xena approached her and asked she tend to Marmax, Gabrielle thought it was unusual. True, there were more serious cases that required the warrior princess' attention and the bard had tended many wounds over their travels, something seemed…staged.
Gabrielle had to apologize when Marmax winced. Medicine was not her strong suit. What was? She was a bard. Was she talented? Her warrior princess thought so. And that was enough for the bard.
Tell him a story? What kind of story to relate to the general? Why not one where a king became the hunted. Starting out relating he was a great hunter/warrior, the bard knew she would gain Marmax's attention.
Could a man so conceited with his skills becoming the hunted be enough of a moral for Marmax? That the king learned to appreciate the life of his prey and to better sympathize with them. And, in turn, to sympathize with those he served as king.
That was Marmax's problem. He couldn't see the true moral of the story. Or that it truly applied to all life. Gabrielle only hoped he could one day see. Inner peace and to share it with the world.
The peace and relaxation of the story was shattered by the fact two new patients needed much help. As they alternated between patients, Gabrielle had a sickening feeling. One of the two would not make it.
As things were becoming interesting, Galen had to make things even more interesting. Luckily, even without Xena's sword, she was able to make it so they could continue to treat the patients.
Gabrielle wondered if Galen would learn. While it was ok to believe in the gods and pray to them, you couldn't count on them. One had to think and do for themselves.
Watching as Xena did her best, yet lost a patient hurt. While Gabrielle was beside herself because the man she had attempted to save died, she could see it in her soulmate's eyes. The fact the warrior princess could not heal everything caused her so much pain.
Get used to it? How was anyone able to get used to suffering and death? Gabrielle knew this wasn't her line of work. But because she traveled with Xena, it was a part of the bargain she would have to live with.
Instead of focusing on death, Gabrielle focused on relieving the pain. If she could do that, she could continue to merely live.
The fact Democritus lost sight of what she was doing. Or was it he saw what Gabrielle attempted to do? It was healing, yes. But more importantly, it was to give comfort to those in pain. Whether physically or mentally.
A man would live but without his leg. Gabrielle shuddered at the thought. She was grateful when the man begged for her to seek out his son.
There was no stopping the bard when she was determined. Gabrielle had staff in hand as she sought out the young boy.
A soldier was in her way. Luck was on her side. At least enough so that Gabrielle didn't kill the soldier. But at what cost? The pain was unreal.
Gabrielle could feel the movement as someone carried her. She could hear the voice. The one she loved so much and loved her so much. She had to hold onto that voice. She couldn't let go. Not now. Not when they'd only recently admitted their love for one another.
There was one thing that needed taking care of. Gabrielle needed Ephiny. Somehow her friend managed to be by her side. If this was as grave as she thought it was, no matter how valiantly she would fight to remain with Xena, she had to do something extremely important.
It wasn't surprising when Ephiny refused the right of caste. It meant Gabrielle was injured far more severely than anyone cared to admit and needed to pass her right to lead the amazons onto Ephiny.
Ephiny wouldn't lose Gabrielle too. If only it were that easy. The bard wanted to be here. She wanted to see her niece or nephew. She wanted to finally physically declare her love for Xena.
But Gabrielle was exhausted. She wasn't certain she could remain awake. There was something calling to her. And the battle was nearing. Things were not good on any level.
There was a door. It was Gabrielle was drawn to it. As she came closer, she saw people. Ones she hadn't seen since she was a child. Those that had crossed over.
Did that mean she was dead? Gabrielle could also hear Xena's voice. Never in her life had she heard such fear, anger and desperation in the warrior princess' voice.
Was it because Xena thought she was dead? Gabrielle remembered. She'd nearly taken down the tree when she thought her soulmate had perished.
The voices and familiar faces were urging Gabrielle towards the door. It would be so easy to leave the pain behind her. But could she leave her soulmate behind?
That was the point. It wasn't her time. While Gabrielle was exhausted, in extreme pain and there were friends/family waiting for her, it wasn't her time to be with them.
It was her time to be with Xena. Doing one of the most difficult things she could do, Gabrielle managed to turn her back on the door. On the voices and familiar faces.
In the arms of the woman she loved. Though Gabrielle was groggy, she knew she was being held by Xena. That she was lucky to be alive. And grateful her soulmate never gave up on her.
Gabrielle wasn't certain how long she had been asleep. But the vision that greeted her could only have been bested by one. The bard was officially an aunt.
It wasn't easy even walking. But Gabrielle knew she could rely on her warrior princess to take care of her. Even though Xena had saved her life, she wouldn't take credit. How fitting.
Deep down, Gabrielle knew Xena could do the work they did. But she also knew she kept her soulmate grounded. That as a bard, she had so much to offer.
Was it right speaking of the afterlife? Gabrielle was babbling about everyone she had seen. The brief conversations she'd had.
Hopefully Xena realized something. While there were so many friends and family waiting for her, Gabrielle had chosen, and would every time, to return to her soulmate.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
War. Xena was growing tired of it. Yet, she could get them through it safely. After all, this was the shortest path to Athens.
How had Xena followed Ares for so long? Because her heart had been deadened to what war was truly like. The fact the current war was his favorite, as it placed brother against brother, nearly caused the warrior princess to shiver.
While the land itself wasn't much to fight over, the fact it was the only passage between Thessaly and Mitoa was worthy of fighting over. Whoever controlled the passage…
The thought was interrupted by a sound. It was a familiar sound. One that cause Xena to flash to a familiar face. It was beyond time she visited Solan. It was beyond time she informed Gabrielle of her son.
Ephiny was the last person Xena would have thought they'd see on the trail. Though she had heard rumors of Ephiny marrying Phantes. The child ready to be born must be his. It could complicate things.
Phantes had been killed attempting to find safe passage through the warzone. It should tell Xena something, but this had to be stopped. No more innocents needed to perish.
It wasn't what Gabrielle had said about stopping a war, though it did affect her. For Xena, it was more about the fact the war was so out of control that the soldiers didn't care if they killed an innocent or a foe.
Xena knew they needed a safe place for Ephiny. As she explored, she came upon soldiers. One was ready to kill, even though the other was ready to surrender.
The one ready to surrender was sent on his way. Xena had plans for the soldier who would kill just because the man was his enemy.
The general balked at going into an enemy healing temple. Was it because he knew his enemy was indifferent as he was? Kill or be killed was how the war was playing out. Even when it was unknown strangers.
While there was a chance they would kill Marmax, Xena hoped they would keep a general as a bargaining chip, or as she had said, as a slave.
What rank indeed? With Marmax in plain uniform, he appeared as any foot soldier. If he were to keep quiet, the Thessalians would never know.
Having Ephiny probably helped them gain access. Not that Xena wanted her amazon friend struggling. She needed rest as time neared.
Ephiny was tired and felt like her soul was being ripped out. That was about how it felt all right. Xena remember all too well.
Xena also remembered how Borias had been killed. They had had their differences toward the end, but he was still the father of her son.
There was one thing that had kept Xena going, if only until she had given Solan to the centaurs. There was a child that needed her that was created out of love. At least it had been love on Borias' part. Ephiny would have to do the same. Hold onto the love she and Phantes shared and the child about to be born.
The warrior princess didn't have much family. There was her mother and Gabrielle. Solan who she could not claim. And a rogue brother. Why not add Ephiny to the short list.
Watching the process in which they treated patients was disturbing. While it wasn't Xena's place, she couldn't allow the men to suffer and die.
It was true. The gods couldn't care less about whether most mortals lived or died. It was up to mortals to care for themselves and others.
A harlot that had battlefield experience should be listened to over the gods any day. Xena hastily took control. Hopefully she could do more good than the harm Galen and his followers were doing.
Finally, Xena was given permission to treat Mitoans, but to leave Thessalians alone. Even if she could only save one man, it would be worth it.
Xena's instincts went into effect. She barked orders as she attempted to save the man. When she'd, for the time being, succeed, the crowd cheered. She didn't want the cheers.
What Xena needed was a second pair of hands. Gabrielle was by her side. They worked as a team. The warrior princess barked out orders.
Antiquated. Galen just couldn't let go of his belief in the gods. Xena had witnessed it before. It had led to the destruction of many a mortal over the years.
On the flipside, Hippocrates wanted to study Xena. To study her techniques. What the people needed was for someone to show they actually cared.
Giving up her sword wasn't the wisest of things, but the patient required something to help the healing process begin. There were no splints for a broken leg so…
If Xena read Marmax properly, he could be reached. What was the best way to do that? Gabrielle. Her bard would come up with a story. Xena was certain.
Just like that, more wounded were coming in. Once again, Xena would require her bard's help. It would definitely require teamwork as they would rotate between the two soldiers.
Luckily, everyone followed orders. Luckily, there were the tools Xena required to attempt to save the patients' lives. Unfortunately, Galen was determined to end her healing. By having the guards attack her. And Xena was without her sword.
Luckily, Xena had many skills. She was able to defend herself and continue to work to save the soldier's life. And tell Galen he had to do better than that.
And tell Galen he didn't heal. It was as if he enjoyed watching people die. Respect for the gods? Seriously. If the gods respected mortals, Xena might think about showing them some respect.
The moment every healer dreaded. Even though Xena would never classify herself as such, it wasn't easy letting go. For some patients, it was for the best they end their suffering.
What was worse was how Gabrielle reacted. Why? There were simply some things even Xena couldn't heal. Loss of blood was one of them.
For someone like Gabrielle, losing a patient would be difficult to overcome. The harshest thing Xena could say to her bard? You'll just have to get used to it.
Galen was right on both counts. Gabrielle was a lovely young lady. And she didn't belong in a warzone. If anything happened to her bard, it would fall on Xena's shoulders.
Partly it was because how angry she was with herself, but mostly it was to see how Marmax was a hypocrite. Who was he to comment on the welfare of others?
Did he not see the total devastation he and his men were responsible for? The fact he used the word neutralize when what really happened was no survivors. No man, woman or child remained.
From attempting to comfort Gabrielle, to trying to get Marmax to see his sins to having to tell a man he wouldn't survive unless he lost his leg. This was becoming more trying than battle for two weeks straight.
The fact the coloring informed Xena it was disease that would flow throughout the man's body didn't comfort her. Or make it any easier to tell him he needed to lose his leg.
Marmax still hadn't learned. Xena had to threaten him with another wound so he would help the enemy. Would the general ever learn?
Pressure points. They weren't for merely killing. They came in handy when it came to treating wounds. Even though the soldier might not be able to feel the wound, he could see it coming. He would still 'feel' it.
Xena was becoming numb. She hadn't forgotten Ephiny and the new life waiting to enter the world. But all this suffering and loss of life and the warrior princess could only do so much to prevent it.
Just like that, Xena's worst nightmare was coming true. Gabrielle was the one on a stretcher. She was the one the warrior princess had to save.
There was also the soldier who had injured her bard to tend to. While there was a part of Xena that wanted to kill him herself, she knew Gabrielle would never forgive her. She'd already had to make that promise.
Marmax couldn't understand how Gabrielle would rather die than take a life. It was a different code than either Xena or the general lived by.
No, Gabrielle shouldn't have been in the warzone. But the fact it was Marmax's man who had nearly killed her bard, all because he didn't know who she was hopefully would make the general finally see.
The moment Gabrielle called out for Ephiny, it chilled Xena. Especially when her bard gave the amazon her right of caste. It meant her soulmate was giving up. She was resigning to die.
As usual, things turned worse. The battle neared. There was no way they could remain at the temple. There were those that could not be moved. Xena would stay for them. And of course for Gabrielle.
Gabrielle had received all the healing Xena had to offer. It was now up to the bard. In the meantime, the warrior princess would continue to do what she could for the wounded.
After things had calmed a little, Xena took the time to spend a moment with Gabrielle. It didn't take much to admit that, to do it over again, the warrior princess would have taken her bard's advice. She would have taken the southern route. Even if it had meant continued killing and Ephiny being left to her own.
Xena could even admit to Marmax she had made a mistake. She shouldn't have brought Gabrielle into a warzone. The general countered with everyone makes mistakes. But did everyone else's mistakes cause the death of their best friend? More so, of their soulmate?
When the catapults sounded, it was time to evacuate. As Xena said, anywhere was better than remaining. And the fact Marmax was savoring victory…
At least Marmax agreed to help give the wounded safe passage. Xena would remain, if only for Gabrielle. Her bard could not be moved. Not for a second. The fact Hippocrates claimed she would die caused Xena to call him a cynic.
Another complication as the catapults continued to fly. Ephiny couldn't be moved. Worse, she couldn't have a traditional delivery.
It was something Xena had never done before. But it was the only way she could think of to bring Ephiny's child into the world. Luckily, it worked. Hopefully son and mother would make a full recovery.
The Mitoans refused to leave because Marmax refused to leave. Hippocrates refused to leave as long as Xena stayed. And Galen had completely lost it.
Just as Gabrielle needed her the most, Marmax finally came to his senses. His men had attempted to take control. The general said he was more himself than he had been in forever.
Xena couldn't think of anyone or anything else. Gabrielle was about to leave her. And the warrior princess had no clue as to how to heal her.
Perhaps Gabrielle needed air. Xena attempted to breathe life into her bard. She attempted to get her soulmate's heart beating once again by repeatedly hitting her chest.
Gabrielle was not dead! Xena refused to believe that. Her bard was not in a better place. She could not merely give up on her. She had to try one more time.
What did Marmax know. He had killed so many. But then again, so had Xena. What was one life in the balance of things? It was everything to the warrior princess.
The strong, mighty warrior princess could not control the tears. Her bard had performed the greatest miracle. She had returned from the land of the dead.
Things settled. Gabrielle was resting, as were the other wounded. Ephiny was enjoying her first hours with her son. Marmax came to say his final goodbyes.
More so, Marmax came to thank her for the wound. It was the most educating he'd ever had. And he was ready to negotiate. Peace could be achieved, now that he understood what they had truly been fighting for and the cost of the war.
Hippocrates was writing everything he had learned from the warrior princess. Why? Because there was so much to learn. Even if Xena wouldn't admit it. She truly did wish him luck in the future with healing. He had what was necessary. He had compassion and the willingness to listen to his patients.
Finally, they were on their way. There was no need for Gabrielle to thank her. Xena definitely didn't want thanks. It was her fault Gabrielle had been wounded. And worse, had crossed over.
It was proven as Gabrielle related the tale of what had happened while she had been under. Even saying Talus said hi. Even though it was one of the most difficult things to do, Xena listened to every word her bard had to say. She owed her that. And so much more.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Traveling had been slow going. Instead of taking Gabrielle to Athens, Xena had decided they both needed someplace more relaxing. Someplace more homelike.
That was why they had spent the past two months in her mother's inn. Being back in Amphipolis was…Xena couldn't quite put it into words.
In some ways, Xena had fallen back into the routine. The one before she had become the ruthless warlord. It was as if she was a teenager again.
It was as if Xena was taking care of the best friend she really hadn't had while growing up. While she had some friends, especially in her early days, it had been her younger brother who had been her best friend.
The fact Toris had not returned to the village dismayed Xena. She wondered if he had truly learned his lesson or was he still seeking revenge? Time would tell.
The two weeks had done wonders for Gabrielle. Even when she had been barely strong enough to walk, she had been able to write in her scrolls.
While her writing collection had been impressive before, it was as if she could fill a library on her own. Gabrielle knew they would be safe in Amphipolis under Cyrene's care.
It would lighten their load. Argo would be grateful for that. Still, Gabrielle would miss having her scrolls with her. She would continue to write in them each night. The only scroll she would keep at her side was her own personal diary.
"How are you feeling today, Dear." Cyrene brought the tray to the bard. She had had some late night chats with Gabrielle. There was something about her. She was definitely a good influence on her daughter.
The problem? Cyrene was worried what the final toll would be for Gabrielle as she continued to travel with her daughter. From the stories that had made it to Amphipolis, this wasn't the first time the bard had been placed in harm's way.
"Almost up to practicing with my staff." Gabrielle was becoming a little restless. She'd been traveling for how long with Xena. They hadn't remained in one place for more than a couple days. Not that she hadn't enjoyed her talks with Cyrene.
Cyrene sighed. She remembered how Lyceus and Xena would practice sword fighting. "I remember watching Xena and Lyceus playing with wooden swords. Though they showed talent, I didn't think either would follow their father's footsteps."
"You never wanted either to be fighters." Cyrene shook her head as she poured the tea she had made for them. It would be soothing. Hopefully it would help them both sleep.
Sleep was not something the innkeeper came by easily. One would think after cooking all day and serving drinks into the night, she would be exhausted.
But Cyrene was always worried. She was worried about Xena's safety. She was worried about her traveling friend. And she was worried her daughter would be sent back over the edge and return to being a warlord. Even with Gabrielle's influence.
"It's understandable." Gabrielle took the tea Cyrene offered her. "No one wants to see their child in danger. Especially if it's danger they created for themselves."
"Being a single parent wasn't easy." Cyrene sat in the chair beside Gabrielle. She took a sip of her tea. "But what was the most difficult was knowing one of my children would want to follow in their father's footsteps. Somehow, I always knew it would be my Lil One."
"I haven't been that little in a very long time." Xena had the deer across her shoulders. It had taken her nearly all day to track the deer. The animals were spooked. Probably a storm on the horizon.
Before either Gabrielle or her mother could respond, Xena had the deer in the kitchen. She would help her mother butcher it. But not before she made certain her bard was behaving herself.
"No, you haven't." Cyrene shook her head. This time, it was with a smile upon her face. "But you'll forever be my Lil One. You and your brothers."
Xena wanted to tell her mother they had seen Toris, but didn't want to give her mother hope he would return. "I know, Mom. And you'll always be my mother."
The warrior princess pulled up an extra chair. The fire was dying. She took the time to place a small log upon it. Soon, her bard would need to head to bed.
"Now that, for once, I have you both together and alone, there's something I want to ask you." Cyrene had to keep from laughing at the expression upon her daughter's face.
"When were you going to tell me you are more than friends?" Gabrielle choked on her tea. Xena groaned loudly. "Lil One, I only want to see you both happy."
Xena took a deep breath. She knew it was up to her as this was her mother they were dealing with. "We're sorry we haven't told you. It's still all new. We haven't told anyone. It would place Gabrielle in even greater danger."
"Cyrene." The innkeeper kept her gaze steady on her daughter, even though Gabrielle was the one attempting to gain her attention. "I was once betrothed. I never wanted to be married. But now that I travel with your daughter, I can have the best of both worlds."
Now Cyrene was looking at the bard. Gabrielle's eyes were focused on her daughter. When the innkeeper stole a glance at her daughter, there was redness to her cheeks. But there was so much love it was nearly scary.
"I can be with the person I love more than anything but have the adventure I craved." Gabrielle had to swallow before continuing. "The only downside will be the danger it places us both in."
In that moment, Xena knew. Her bard loved her more than anything. And she loved Gabrielle more than anything. But this latest experience had affected them both.
There would be a point one day. Would it be Gabrielle or would it be Xena? When either would say they couldn't do it anymore. That the price was to high to pay.