From nearly losing me to seeing her son after ten seasons, it wasn't an easy time for my soulmate. Not telling me there was the possibility of meeting Solan for the very first time weighed heavily on Xena.
This time, the door doesn't slam. This time, Xena brings me a hot cup of cider. The nights have grown long, the days short. The Solstice Season will soon be upon us.
It's not the reason Xena remains. It's because she knows this story must be told. Unlike our other adventures, this is one she wants to make certain her voice is heard.
Xena places a hand upon my shoulder. It's to tell me she knows I incorporate her voice in every word I write. But I also know I can't know every thought or feeling my soulmate endured during such difficult times.
It's different than the last adventure. Instead of nearly losing her soulmate, briefly Xena was reunited with her son. One she didn't stop thinking about. Even for a second.
It's later adventures Xena might also slam the door. Or she might do as she is doing now. Even though I know my soulmate as well as myself, I don't know how she'll react. I don't know how I'll react.
But these chronicles must go on. Their teachings must reach future generations. So that hopefully all we fought for will be preserved.
Or if not preserved, those in the future will have a templet. A guide to fight for the greater good. It's never easy. But it's what those that can fight should do. Whether it's with a weapon or with words.
I'm off topic. I can't count how many times I've written I'm off topic so far. The number will be endless of how many times I will continue on a different road than I began with.
Back to meeting Solan. It was easy to tell he was his mother's son. Not that he didn't have his father in him. Xena would disagree, but the compassion he shown. And the fight. It was all his mother.
Azure eyes roll as they read my last paragraph. It's not only because Xena never truly forgave herself for being in a position to give up her son, but also because she cannot see what she has become.
A deep sigh escapes Xena. I think I'm embarrassing and hitting a nerve at the same time. I would apologize, but I know in very near future adventures, I'll be doing the same.
I won't go there until I have to, but we both have things in our pasts we would like to change. It repeats, like one's stomach does after eating Joxer's stew. But it's true. We are mortals, full of fallacies. We have to learn to accept that. And to overcome them.
For me, this adventure was eye opening. I'd known Xena was capable of many physical feats. But to have seen how, seasons later, giving up her son so that he could hopefully have a normal life and not be a target showed a strength few knew.
ORPHAN OF WAR
The recuperation time for the bard had been cut short. Word had come that one of Xena's former army members was on the march. And he was taking on the centaurs.
Gabrielle didn't like the look of the totems. They were definitely a warning of some kind. She wasn't surprised when Xena informed her they were made by centaurs.
There were signs Dagnine had already attempted to fight the centaurs but had been driven off. They were mighty fighters. Gabrielle had witnessed that first hand when the centaurs had teamed up with the amazons.
But what about Xena and the centaurs? Gabrielle knew there was a past between them. As usual, her soulmate had not been forthcoming with the complete details.
The fact Xena had helped forge a treaty between the amazons and centaurs hopefully would reflect positively with the centaurs they were about to meet.
Back to Dagnine. A capable warrior, but one not to turn ones' back on. That was from evil Xena's perspective. It was a terrifying thought.
And when Gabrielle was told to ready herself, her heart began racing. This would be the first fight since she was fatally wounded.
Would Gabrielle react as she normally would? Would she freeze at the first sign of trouble? Worse, would Xena freeze worrying the same?
The duo held off their attackers long enough for centaurs to appear. But were they saved? The lead centaur's greeting was ominous, understandably.
Gabrielle watched as her soulmate handled the situation. The destroyer of nations would never return. Only the warrior princess would grace the centaurs.
The fact Xena knew of Dagnine's plan seemed to ease the tension between the warrior princess and the centaur. The explanation of stopping Dagnine and not being there for anything or anyone was puzzling to the bard.
At that moment, a young boy charged at Xena. Gabrielle couldn't help wondering with the expression on her soulmate's face. Who exactly was Solan and why was the centaur so protective of the young man?
Whoever Solan was, his priorities were made clear. He wanted to kill Xena. Gabrielle wondered what could make someone his age want vengeance on her warrior princess.
Xena killed his father? The name Borias meant something to Gabrielle, but she couldn't quite place the stories that went with them. Someone from her soulmate's past?
Gabrielle didn't know what to say or think when her soulmate so bluntly informed her that Xena's greatest enemy was also her son.
Even after hearing the story of Xena and Borias, Gabrielle knew there was more to the story. Even if she claimed to have told the bard everything, there was more to the story.
How could anyone, destroyer of nations or warrior princess, so easily hand their son over to anyone to raise? Gabrielle realized the centaurs were truly honorable, but to give them your child?
The reason behind it was easy to deduce. Xena was the destroyer of nations. She was at Ares' right hand. Anyone wanting to begin their reputation as a warrior would target her. And any member of her family.
Now that Xena was here, shouldn't she tell Solan who she was? Gabrielle understood it wouldn't be easy, especially given Solan's reaction to the warrior princess' presence. But didn't he have a right to know who his mother was?
The way Xena practically shoved Gabrielle out of the way informed the bard her soulmate was not ready or willing to face the fact she was so near her son.
Gabrielle had to watch her soulmate storm off. The direction was clear. Xena wanted to confront the man who had been entrusted with her son.
The bard wasn't certain what to think or do. She wanted to speak to Xena. Attempt to convince her that she needed to at least speak with Solan, if not inform him of his true lineage.
After wandering for several moments, Gabrielle finally came across her soulmate once again. It was right down to business as Xena related what she knew about Dagnine.
And what could happen if the Ixion stone were to fall into Dagnine's hands. All the evil trapped inside could be unleashed.
At one time, Xena had been after the Ixion stone. Gabrielle shuddered inwardly at the thought of the destroyer of nations being showered with even more evil.
Listening to Xena tell how Borias came to realize the path they were on was not the right one sooner nearly broke Gabrielle's heart.
The fact Xena didn't order Borias killed, but captured, spoke volumes to the respect she had for him at one time. Was there love? In a way, Gabrielle hoped so. Because if there was love, it made it all worthwhile.
Unfortunately, Solan was under the impression Xena was responsible for his father's death. In a way, he was correct. But who actually struck the fatal blow?
Gabrielle's heart broke as she listened to how Xena felt. About how her love and need to be with Solan grew with each day. But that she had no right because she walked away.
To Gabrielle, that wasn't true. What was true was every child deserved to know who their mother was. To know the truth. And to know they were more than loved.
Instantly, Gabrielle's heart went from broken to angry. How was it not her business? While it might not be the bard's place to inform Solan of his lineage, it was definitely her business.
Hadn't exchanging their love for one another made it Gabrielle's business? Even as a mere friend, she should be involved in something so personal to her best friend.
While Gabrielle couldn't tell Solan who his mother was, she could speak to the young man. She could attempt to teach him who Xena was now. It could help forge a friendship between mother and son.
Why did it not surprise Gabrielle that Solan would notice her staff? She had noticed the sword he carried. She also knew he wanted to avenge his father's death.
The difference between a sword and staff had to be explained. In one of their first adventures, Gabrielle had made herself a target, merely by picking up a sword. There were no sharp edges with a staff. It was only for defense.
Solan was a warrior all right. Gabrielle just wasn't certain it was in the way he thought he was. As she hastily showed him, a staff could be used in many ways. Including defending oneself from an errant ball.
The skill caught Solan's attention. It would be easy to show him how to do it. And without being a warrior. But his lesson was interrupted by an attack. They were after Xena's son.
Instead of running, Solan attempted to use his weapon. Unfortunately, Gabrielle was no match for all the men. She watched in horror as the young man was dragged away. He was fighting every step of the way.
Luckily, it didn't take long for Gabrielle to find Xena. The look in those cobalt eyes chilled the bard. Returning to the village wasn't an easy task. Not knowing that her soulmate was on a mission to save her son.
It didn't take long for Gabrielle to make it to the village. It took every bit of her skills as a bard to convince Kaleipus to remain. To fortify the village and ready for when Xena returned.
One of the ways Gabrielle managed to convince Kaleipus to refrain from going on the attack was how relentless Xena was. And how she always seemed to win in the end.
When finally Gabrielle could no longer hold the warrior back, she convinced him to only accept volunteers to head into a fight. And who would be right there in the lead? The bard herself.
After a little while of traveling, there was an unusual sound. As Gabrielle had learned over the time she'd travelled with her soulmate, if it was the unknown, it was Xena.
As it turned out, Gabrielle was right. Xena and Solan were stuck in an underground cavern. It would take a bit of rope and some strength to pull them out.
It took two tries as Dagnine and his men arrived just as they had nearly been pulled to safety. As Gabrielle told them to try again, she heard Solan yell for his sword.
Scarily, Solan's sword had been the answer all along. The Ixion stone had been hidden by Borias to protect it. Gabrielle shuddered as now Dagnine had all this evil at his disposal.
What had sadly become second nature for Gabrielle instantly went into effect. It was directing traffic. It was tending to the wounded.
In this case, it meant taking care of her soulmate's son. Before Gabrielle did that, she had to say something. It wasn't exactly that she was wrong earlier.
Having to say 'friend' wasn't easy. But as they had discussed with Cyrene, no one could know of the true nature of their relationship.
Though it was true. While they were more than friends, friendship would always be the basis for their relationship. It was the best kind of relationship.
Gabrielle had to admit that she was a little harsh on Xena. That she hadn't fully understood how much her soulmate was hurting. And while she would, if roles were reversed, inform Solan of his parentage, it wasn't her place. And she had to accept it and support her fully.
The simple apology and saying Gabrielle would be there for Xena was greeted by 'always'. It was akin to saying I love you. At least that's what the bard chose to hear.
It made helping Solan a little easier. Plus, Gabrielle could continue to get to know him. And maybe enlighten him a little.
Whatever happened on their journey had Solan understanding Xena knew a great deal. Gabrielle had to stop and reflect for herself how Xena always did what was right, even when it hurt her the most.
And when Solan said Xena wasn't like he'd heard, Gabrielle had to relate how she'd only known this Xena. The one who fought for the greater good. Who only did what was right for others, but not for herself.
Gabrielle could understand hearing a story, but not knowing the ending. Or at the very least, that the story had more to it than one realized.
It had taken a great deal for Gabrielle to understand the true nature of her soulmate. The stories were one thing. But not having seen it still sometimes had the bard questioning just how ruthless Xena had been.
Xena would be grateful to know her son didn't hate her anymore. Gabrielle was grateful she could tell her soulmate just that.
As time drew near, Gabrielle had to ask what she was to do. The consensus was easy. The bard was to remain with Solan. She was to protect him. It was something she would gladly do.
Solan was so much like his mother. Even after being told to remain, he wanted to retrieve his father's sword. Luckily, Gabrielle was there to do as she had been asked.
The most difficult thing in the known world? Remaining in the village after Dagnine had been defeated. Why? Because Xena was having a chat with her son.
While Gabrielle knew it needed to be a private conversation, she would have loved to be there for both mother and son.
Soon, Gabrielle would have to be there for mother. Xena would need comforting. She would need understanding. The bard only hoped she would be enough to take away some of the pain and help in healing her warrior princess.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
A name from her past had caused Xena to leave her home. It meant Gabrielle had been forced to travel. She only hoped it wasn't before her bard was ready to travel.
It was more than travel. This latest quest Xena had undertaken most likely would lead to war. Even if she were to make it to the centaurs before Dagnine, there might just be a battle with the centaurs.
A battle had already occurred. From the signs of battle, Dagnine had already been here and had been driven off by the centaurs.
The dreaded question. What kind of reception would Xena receive? Gabrielle wasn't even aware of the biggest obstacle. Something that had not left the warrior princess.
Dagnine was unlike even Xena back in the day. He would have killed, raped or destroyed anything or anyone just to get what he wanted. How he had remained under her command, especially the way she had treated him…
It was definitely not as Xena had described. She could have killed all the centaurs. If it hadn't been for Borias forming the treaty and the birth of her son, the destroyer of nations would have destroyed the entire village of centaurs.
Xena readied herself as she gave her soulmate the warning to be ready. No, it wasn't the centaurs. It was much worse as it was Dagnine's men.
Luckily, it didn't take much between them to dispense the men. It was just enough to get Xena's warrior juices flowing. Her senses were heightened. Another approached helping to scare off their attackers.
Destroyer of nations. At one time, Xena would have loved to be referred to as that. She would have loved the fear it would instill in others. Now, that Xena would never return.
Instead, it was the warrior princess who was here to attempt to keep Dagnine from obtaining the Ixion stone. Her wording nearly gave her away as she informed her old enemy she was not here for anything or anyone.
Still, Gabrielle picked up on it. Xena knew she had had plenty of time to tell her soulmate about Solan. She couldn't have done it in Amphipolis as she didn't want to tell her mother. Cyrene would have wanted to see her grandson for herself.
Just like that, Xena had an armful of her son. Solan. It was the first time since she had handed her infant son to Kaleipus who had raised him as his own.
To hear that her own son wanted to kill her and that he was her greatest enemy was the most painful thing Xena had ever heard. It made watching the scene unfold nearly impossible.
Just as impossible was finally admitting to her soulmate who Solan was. It caused Xena to remember the night she gave up her son.
Kaleipus had been skeptical. But as soon as Xena had explained her reasons why, he seemed to understand. The pure evil that the destroyer of nations was would be imprinted on her son. And there would be those that would either want to turn him against her or kill him.
Xena need a breather. Instead of remaining to speak to Gabrielle, she went for a walk. She didn't go far. And knew her bard would eventually seek her out.
It wasn't long and Gabrielle was asking to speak. Was Xena's answer the truth? Had she told her bard everything? The omission of her son was not the only thing the warrior princess had refrained from telling her soulmate.
How could Xena walk out on her child? How could she not? Her mere presence meant Solan was in constant danger. Either by harm or ransom.
So Gabrielle, at least on some level, understood why. Her bard couldn't understand how. Xena couldn't even fully explain how she had left him in such loving and capable hands.
Leave it to Gabrielle to instantly attempt to reunite mother and son. Xena wasn't ready for that. She might never be ready for that. Besides, it wasn't what was right for her. It was what was right for Solan.
Xena hadn't meant to be so abrupt with her soulmate. But she needed to distance herself. Not only from her bard, but from the fact she was so near her son.
It was Kaleipus who Xena sought out. While she knew it was the centaurs right to raise Solan how he pleased, she didn't want her son raised to be a warrior.
Of course, neither did Kaleipus. Xena knew her former enemy was right. Solan was headstrong. He was definitely her son. But he was also Borias'. Hopefully, he would make the right choices. The ones she had failed to make.
Was Kaleipus serious? Did he not think Xena knew what it felt like to lose her son? It was unreal. She was a mother without a son. And had been for over nine years.
It was time to see what Dagnine was up to. It was the best way to keep Solan safe. They could deal with who raised him after everyone was out of harms' way.
Gabrielle would find her. Xena knew her soulmate would attempt to bridge the gap between them. Even if it was to continue asking about their continued mission.
The stone contained pure evil. It was why Xena had had her army searching for it. It was why they had to do whatever it took to keep it out of Dagnine's hands.
Borias turning against Xena had many reasons behind it. One was to keep her from the Ixion stone. No one should have that kind of power. But mostly, it was because he didn't want the kind of life they were living for their child.
The fact was Xena didn't know if she could have actually ordered Borias dead. Captured definitely. As Gabrielle pointed out, Solan believed she had killed him. That's what mattered at the moment.
Being a mother meant so much more than giving birth. And it didn't end after birth. Just because Xena had not been there in person, it didn't mean she hadn't thought of his well being. Of what was best for him.
At this point, Xena didn't have the right to waltz back into his life and try to claim what she had given up. She had to warn Gabrielle not to do it for her.
Thinking so much of Borias had led Xena to his grave. There was a marker next to Borias. It was for Solan's mother. It was fitting as the day Xena had given Solan to Kaleipus a part of her had died.
Solan would even attempt to keep her away from his parents' graves. In a way, Xena couldn't blame him. Even after telling him she had great respect for Borias and that she hadn't killed him, her son refused to believe her.
What did Solan know about his mother? Kaleipus had gifted her son with a wonderful mother. Could Xena have been those things had she not been on the path she had been on?
With the woman described, it would possibly help Solan see that being a warrior was not the path for him. That it wasn't what Borias or his 'mother' would wish for him.
The key was nobility. It was true Borias died while attempting to protect his son and the centaurs. But revenge and anger were far from noble.
Singing was something Xena didn't do often. But at the mention of it, she wanted to sing for Solan. Friends used to sing for one another. She could sing for him.
Before Solan could respond, Xena sensed something. Someone was watching them. It was, unfortunately, time to send Solan back to the village while she confronted whoever it was attempting to discover anything about her.
It didn't take much to find the seer. It didn't take much, after the pinch was placed on him, to discover Dagnine knew everything. Including the fact she was Solan's mother.
As soon as Xena was near the village, she was greeted with the news. Not only had Dagnine known who Solan was, he now had him.
While Gabrielle would want to help rescue Solan, someone needed to tell Kaleipus. The villagers needed to prepare. It wouldn't be much longer and Dagnine would attack.
Slipping into Dagnine's tent was nearly too easy. Xena was right when she had said he hadn't changed. He laid his plans out clear as day. Not that she hadn't already suspected.
Dagnine claimed to know her capabilities yet he hadn't expected what had happened. She was now free to save her son knowing where he would look for the Ixion stone.
The next step was to rescue Solan. It was going well. Her son managed to catch the key. But when he insisted on retrieving Borias' sword, things went awry.
It seemed there was only one way out of their current predicament. It would mean Solan had to trust Xena. It was a huge step. And a giant leap into the unknown.
Once they landed, they had to keep moving. Inadvertently they had discovered the way to the Ixion caverns. It was a short cut. Dagnine would act immediately.
The first thing in their way was the fact Solan had broken his arm. Xena had to remind him a sword did no one good if they didn't have an arm to wield it with.
Alone time with Solan. But more than that, Xena had to keep him from being too terrified. He had shown good instincts. More like his father than his mother in some ways.
Xena could impart something that had taken her years to learn. Being brave wasn't what made one a great warrior. It was knowing what was in your heart, knowing what was right and standing up for it.
Even if that meant standing up to someone you had once loved a great deal. That's what Borias had finally done. He had loved Xena, but he had known it was wrong to seek the Ixion stone or harm the centaurs to retrieve it.
Learning that one's hero wasn't always perfect had to hurt. Solan had to realize that one's past didn't make one who they were. It was a part of them, there was no denying that. But one could change. And become the person they were meant to be.
Readily admitting Xena would have killed all the centaurs wasn't easy. But Solan needed to realize she was a different person. And she could own up to her own mistakes.
Comforting Solan as she released the pinch was as close to mothering him as she'd come since the day he had been born. It nearly broke through the warrior's façade.
It lasted less than Xena would have liked. Dagnine would soon be upon them. They had to keep moving. They entered the Ixion temple. But the stone was gone. It meant Borias had found it but wisely kept it from Xena.
Where did Borias hide it from herself and anyone else? Even Xena couldn't fathom where it could be. It's not like Borias hadn't tricked her before.
Borias' handprints. It did something to Xena. While she could never say she was truly in love with him, she had cared for him. And they had traveled a long time together. There were many memories. And there was their son.
While Xena was an amazing fighter, her son was injured. They would need help in escaping from the cavern. It was where her music lessons came in handy. It was a joke to help ease the fear her son was enduring.
Even with Gabrielle and the others, it wasn't a simple rescue. It took a little trickery for Xena and Solan to escape. But at a cost.
Solan dropped his sword. Xena inwardly knew this was where Borias had hidden the Ixion stone mere moments before Dagnine bragged he now had it.
It meant preparing for the ultimate evil centaur. Preparing for a normal raid was not enough. They would need something that could penetrate the evil hide.
As the centaurs and others built the crossbow, Xena had to see how her son was doing. Gabrielle had to say he was a lot like his mom in not admitting he was in pain.
Gabrielle's apology was longwinded. It was understandable how she could not fully comprehend what Xena was going through or thinking.
As a 'friend', Gabrielle would respect and support whatever it was Xena chose to do. The friend part was hurtful in one way, but necessary in another.
They would always be there for one another. That went without saying. But Xena knew that it had to be said, from time to time.
If there was one thing Xena knew, it was that Dagnine would come. She had treated him without respect. He was among those that hated her. And with good reason.
Solan being with Xena was not an option. If something were to happen to Kaleipus, would it change things? It might. Especially since her friend was expressing his want for that.
Either way, there was one thing that was clear. Xena and Kaleipus should never have been enemies. And as he said, he and this Xena never would be.
Strategy. It was what Xena was good at. Things were made easier when Kaleipus basically said he knew what she was talking about.
There was one consensus. Gabrielle was to watch out for Solan. It wasn't that Xena was keeping her bard from battle. It was because she wanted her son in the best hands possible.
Xena had to make certain Kaleipus wasn't harmed. After all, Dagnine was after her. She made certain he focused on her. In fact, she learned something she never knew.
Not that it would add anything to making certain Dagnine was dead, but knowing he was the one who had killed Borias did give Xena closure.
It wasn't necessarily a good kind of closure as Xena would forever blame herself for his death. In a way, she always had. But now she knew for certain it was because of her.
Now for a different kind of closure. It was time to have a conversation with Solan. Soon, Xena would need to have a conversation with her bard. It would wait. Thankfully.
With the first words, Solan healed a little bit of Xena's heart. He knew she hadn't killed his father. More importantly, he knew she wasn't the person she had once been.
Even more interesting was how Solan asked if she and Gabrielle could stay for a bit. It would be 'fun' as he put it. But that wasn't something that could be.
Xena had to make certain before she left that Solan understood a few things. He was such an innocent that he thought she was referring to how he had reacted when first they had arrived.
Every time Xena attempted to confess her ultimate sin, at least as far as Solan was concerned, he guessed it was something else. Perhaps it was a sign. Now was not the time to tell him who she truly was to him.
It nearly broke Xena when Solan said they were friends. That friends shouldn't feel bad toward one another. And the one thing that sent a tear down her cheek? How his mom would have liked her. That they would have gotten along. At least he had admitted he was no warrior.
The rest was nearly too great to bear. Xena managed to say his mother would be very proud of him. And the truth was his mother was extremely proud of him.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
It wasn't normal to travel during the night. Gabrielle was exhausted, even with riding double on Argo. She sensed the horse was more than ready to stop and at least rest.
The sun had risen. It was beating down the back of the bard's neck. Yet, she felt cold. She had attempted to speak with Xena, but her soulmate had remained silent.
After a while, Gabrielle had given up on verbally speaking to her soulmate. Instead, she had taken Xena's hand or brushed against the warrior princess.
Gabrielle's favorite part of the night travels had been snuggled up behind Xena. Her arms had wrapped around the waist of her soulmate. One hand of the warrior princess had been on her joined hands, the other held the reins.
It was also Gabrielle's least favorite part as she was certain she had felt the warm wetness of saltiness. One of the few times since befriending Xena, there had been tears.
Xena knew she had no right to continue to torture Gabrielle and Argo. The problem was, if they stopped, she would have to truly deal with what had happened.
Yes, Xena had allowed for tears, but they had nearly immediately been forced back inside. It was rare when she allowed for tears. The last time was when she was certain she had lost Gabrielle forever.
There were many ways Xena could look at their most recent adventure. She had aided the centaurs. She had made a payment on a debt that could never be repaid and had been accepted as the warrior princess, not the destroyer of nations.
Most importantly, Xena had been able to spend time with her son. What she had feared had come to pass. Someone had discovered his lineage and decided to use him against her.
Because of this, Solan had suffered a broken arm. But he had also learned that his greatest enemy wasn't the one who had killed his father, at least not by her own hand.
Solan had learned to accept her as a friend. It was both painful and gave her hope. Hope that one day Xena could claim her son as her own.
As the low mountains came into view, Xena knew this would be a place they could rest. In fact, if it was as she remembered, they could remain for a day or two. Very few knew of the caverns in the mountains.
At this point, Xena needed to be away from people. She needed to be with her soulmate. She needed to attempt to heal. She needed to accept she may never be able to claim her son as her own.
Xena had to clear her throat. She hadn't drunk anything in more than a few candlemarks. It wasn't the wisest of moves, but it was difficult to even breathe at this point.
"There's a set of caverns not far from here." Xena glanced at her soulmate. They were walking side by side. Argo nodded her head as if understanding what Xena had said. "There's water in them. Very few people know about them."
Gabrielle knew this was what Xena needed. She managed a weak smile before responding. "I would love to see them."
The warrior princess knew Gabrielle wanted to say more. Her soulmate was attempting not to push. It was a good thing in this case. "Follow me."
"Always." The word was out before Gabrielle could stop it. In the beginning of their travels, it was something she wouldn't dare say aloud. Now, it went without saying.
It was only another half candelmark before they came across the caverns. From Gabrielle's vantage point, a couple of the caverns were too narrow to enter.
"There's a stream not far. Argo will have plenty of water and plenty of apples, if I'm not mistaken." Xena waited for Gabrielle to retrieve her saddlebag and scrolls.
It didn't take long to remove Argo's saddle. She reared and stomped her front feet a few times, indicating she was not happy with having been worked so.
"I'm sorry, old friend." Xena sighed heavily. Even in battle, she hated to abuse Argo so. "Enjoy some apples. Have a good time."
Once again, Argo reared up. It would take a day or two before the horse forgave Xena. It would be longer before the warrior princess forgave herself.
After watching Argo gallop off, Xena returned her attention to the caverns. Her bard was already exploring. It wouldn't be long before she discovered the one the warrior princess had used to store weapons, among other things.
Xena hastily retrieved her saddlebag and the blankets. Food would need to be thought of as they had only had travel rations during the night.
Gabrielle was standing in the middle of the cavern. She was looking around. Though they had been through so much, there remained a wonder in her bard's eyes.
The warrior princess couldn't help wondering when Solan would fully lose that same wonder. The thought was crushing. It finally brought Xena to her knees.
The wailing startled Gabrielle. She had known Xena was hurting, but this was beyond what she had thought she would hear. Instantly, she was kneeling before her soulmate.
"Xena?" Gabrielle was worried. It was as if Xena wasn't even seeing her. She took both of her soulmate's hands. "Talk to me. Please."
After waiting several heartbeats, Gabrielle chose to see if she could garner a reaction by kissing her soulmate. Azure eyes were instantly upon her. The pain was unreal. "I just want to take away some of the pain."
Though there was a part of Xena that knew she needed to use words, there was another part that needed something. Down the road, they would have to fully discuss Solan. Keeping him from Gabrielle. How all these years had gone by without even chancing seeing him. Would she have ever ventured to the centaur village had there not been a threat?
Answers would not be easy to come by. For now, Xena needed something. At the moment the warrior princess managed to swoop up her bard and stand, a clap of thunder so loud it was as if Zeus himself sent it.
Or was it Aphrodite? Xena often wondered how The Goddess of Love interfered in mortal lives. She had experienced, many times over, how Ares had.
Gabrielle shivered as she felt something she'd never experienced radiating from her soulmate. It was this primal sensation. It wasn't unlike when Xena was in one of her warrior hazes. Yet, it was so very different.
Tenderness was how Gabrielle would describe the touch as she was carried to where the bedrolls lie. She had been too caught up in the beauty of the cavern to have begun her usual ritual of setting up camp.
Xena gently placed her bard on her feet. Without a word, she placed the bedrolls near the charred ring of stones. Later, she would need to gather food and firewood. Right now, another fire needed extinguishing.
When the warrior princess turned to her soulmate, Gabrielle was shivering. Was it too soon for this? Was it cold in the cavern? Or was it anticipation that was causing her bard to shiver so?
As if answering her, Xena watched as her bard began to slowly undress. With practiced hands, the warrior princess matched nearly every movement.
At the moment, the only regret Xena was experiencing was missing out on slowly removing her soulmate's clothing. When finally Gabrielle was naked before her, it was as if the warrior princess was seeing her bard for the very first time.
They had bathed together how many times during their travels? Xena had had to tend Gabrielle's wounds numerous times and vice versa. Yet, it was as if the beauty she was taking in was for the very first time.
Gabrielle slowly closed the slight distance between them. She wasn't certain exactly what she was doing. All she knew was that Xena needed her. In a way she had never needed her before.
It was up to Gabrielle to attempt to ease the pain. To make Xena feel something so amazing it could, even only momentarily, begin the healing process.
The bard began by pressing her body against her soulmate's. Never had she felt another's body like this. Never had she felt her heart nearly explode.
Partially it was from fear. Partially it was from such a reaction by her body that Gabrielle could not put it into words. There would be no writing of this adventure in her scrolls.
Would anyone ever realize just how intimate their relationship had become? Cyrene would. But would anyone else ever discover the depths of their love?
It wasn't about intimacy, though Gabrielle felt her body reacting even more as Xena guided her leg so she was partially straddling her soulmate.
It was about this connection Gabrielle had with her warrior princess. As Xena lifted her so that she had her legs wrapped around her soulmate, it was as if they had done this before.
It was something Gabrielle had sensed before. Even the very first time she had caught azure eyes, it was as if they had met before.
Back then, Gabrielle had thought she was a naïve farmgirl that didn't know about life. Now, she realized she had sensed their connection that transcended time.
Xena had had intimate relations too many times. Most were because she wanted something. Alliances had been easier to control when sex was involved.
There were two relationships that had had some feelings behind them. Xena had loved Marcus and the goodness she sensed from him.
Borias was complicated. But at one time, she had had feelings for him. Was it love? She could never be certain. It had begun with seduction and ended being divided.
Feeling Gabrielle's clit against her own was more than she had felt in all the times Xena had had relations. It wasn't about the body, though she was far more attracted to her bard than any before her.
It was the emotions. Love. Admiration. Friendship. There was the pain of dealing with a son never forgotten and maybe never seen again.
All those things combined so that Xena was nearly weak in the knees. She managed to place Gabrielle on the bedroll before joining her.
"I know we need to talk. And I'm not certain this is the right place or time for the first time we make love, but…" Xena was silenced when she felt a hand upon her breast.
Though Gabrielle was inexperienced, she wasn't about to ignore her own cravings. "The way our lives are led, there may never be a right time. But we have now. We can talk later. Right now, I want to make you feel amazing."
Xena swallowed. While she had watched Gabrielle grow before her very eyes, it wasn't until this moment how truly adult her soulmate was.
Instead of more words, Xena laid on her side. Gabrielle was now facing her. While there had been times when the warrior princess would take what she wanted when being intimate, this was so different.
In unison, they began tracing one another's bodies. Gabrielle hated to see all the scars. What was worse was the fact the scars within were more difficult to know and more difficult to overcome.
Gabrielle knew she now had her own scars. A few battle wounds, the last as she had faced death. Inner scars? There were a few, but nothing like what her soulmate lived with each day.
Xena couldn't take it anymore. She had to know what her soulmate tasted like. Their eyes met. So much love and trust from one person. Something the warrior princess never would have thought she deserved.
Slowly, Xena eased herself so that her head was between Gabrielle's legs. She carefully placed each of her lover's legs over her shoulders. Her hands found ample breasts.
At first, Xena teased the slick folds that led to the most amazing of treasures. As she teased, her hands were massaging breasts.
The scent was overpowering, but Xena didn't want to startle or harm Gabrielle. This was her bard's first time with anyone. If the warrior princess had her way, she would be the only one her bard ever made love to.
Finally, Xena slowly entered her lover with her tongue. The sound that escaped Gabrielle nearly caused the warrior princess to stop. But a hand on her head assured her she wasn't harming her soulmate.
As Xena plunged deep inside her, Gabrielle couldn't help her body's movements. It was like a dance. There was this rhythm. The hands upon her breasts as a thumb stroked her nipples.
In time with those thumbs was a tongue. Gabrielle now understood what it was like to be made love to. It was tender. It was raw. It was amazing. She couldn't wait until she had her chance to explore Xena's body.
All thought was sent from Gabrielle's mind as a hand slowly made its way to join the tongue already licking her clit. The single digit entered her body.
While there was a slight jolt of pain, it was hastily followed by a sensation that caused Gabrielle to feel alive. It was as if she had been asleep her entire life until this very moment.
Something else was building. As Xena continued to make love to her, a pressure was building. It was as if her very soul was attempting to escape.
There was a part of Gabrielle that didn't want to let go. And yet, she knew she was safe. She knew her warrior princess would tether her soul to her own.
The crying out of her name cause Xena to finally slowly remove her tongue and finger from her lover's body. She slid her sweat covered body the length of her bard's body. "Are you all right?"
Gabrielle managed to nod her head. She would have to take a moment before she explored Xena's body for the very first time. Well, at least the first time in real life.
The bard could feel the soft touches. Xena was worried about her. They hadn't slept the night before and now she had spent a great deal of energy, but in the most pleasurable of ways.
Finally, Gabrielle placed a hand behind Xena's head. The kiss brought on a taste. It was her own. She wondered if her soulmate tasted as sweet.
There was only one way to find out. Gabrielle began by kissing a trail. She concentrated on a convenient neck, before making it to full breasts.
First Gabrielle took Xena's right breast into her mouth. The taste was…How could anyone truly describe what it tasted or felt like?
The scent from Xena's promised area was calling to Gabrielle, yet she could not seem to make herself leave those breasts.
Instead, one petite hand made its way between strong thighs. Xena could not even believe her bard had never made love. Yet, she knew it was instinct. And the fact they were soulmates made anything possible.
The moment Gabrielle slowly entered her, Xena felt as if she'd never been touched before. It was like she was the one without experience. How could anything feel like this?
The continued teasing of her nipples and the stroking of her clit had Xena writhing. None had ever made her feel like this. Alive. Loved. Amazing.
But more than that. Xena felt accepted. For the very first time in her life, with all the evil in her past and poor choices, the woman making love to her accepted the entire package.
One last stroke and Xena was sent over the edge. There were tears. They were releasing the pain and the joy she had just experienced.
"I love you." Xena held onto her bard as if her life depended on it. In a way, it did. While she had her mother and son, Gabrielle was what made her life worth living.
"I love you." Gabrielle could feel the love, but also the fear. She could understand. What if they were ever separated? What if they had never known one another? What would life have been like for both bard and warrior?