The moment of silence hung quite uncomfortably between the two childhood friends following Lily's request. Severus continued to stand there, his expression indiscernible to her before answering with his recently adopted stoicism.

"My feelings? You're going to have to elaborate."

"So, he's going to act that way?" Lily thought as she regarded those black eyes with caution. She didn't want to act insensitively about this subject, but if he was trying to avoid her, she needed to push him to an answer. After her conversation with Mary just an hour ago, she owed him that much.

Pulling out her wand, Lily gave it a gentle wave before whispering the incantation Muffliato. Even though nobody besides the Gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office was present in the hallway, she wanted to respect the privacy of the conversation so no outsiders could hear.

Lily noticed the little tug at the edge of his lips, the barest hint of a smile that she had used one of the spells he created. Everyone else that had used something of his, he seemed to look at it as a personal affront rather than flattery. She was the only one he showed this kind of pride for. And that was part of the problem.

"Don't play dumb with me, Severus." she said, consciously choosing to use his full name rather than the endearing nickname she had given him so many years ago when they were children. It had always been Lily's signal to her best friend that it was time for a serious talk. She paused before continuing, trying to choose her next words carefully so she wouldn't hurt or offend him.

"Mary and I talked about you quite a bit while Potter and Black were on their Hogsmeade smuggling run, just before the party started. It was a very good and brave thing you did, openly standing up to those awful classmates of yours. I was concerned that you were putting a target on your back, but…Mary seems to think you had some ulterior motives when you did it."

Severus maintained his silence, his expression so difficult for her to gauge were it not for that slight raise of his eyebrow. Lily quickly waved her hands to explain.

"N-not that she is suspicious of you or anything like that, Sev! She, along with everyone else at the table were quite convinced that what you did cut your ties to the Slytherin gang. Rosier looked particularly furious, and none of us is accusing you of staging it or anything like that."

Her frantic explanation over, Lily took a moment to recompose herself before continuing.

"My friends and I, well, we're thrilled at what you did. But it's less about what you did and why you did it that has Mary concerned. And when she explained everything to me, I'll be honest, I'm a bit concerned too."

Severus snorted at her explanation before shaking his head. "You have spent two minutes trying to ask me something and have danced around the subject the entire time."

Despite the calm, even tone he used, Lily noticed a familiar glimmer of fear in his eyes. Clearly her rambling lead-in had been a bit clearer than he had given her credit for; at the very least, it seemed like he knew where she was trying to lead the conversation to. The subject had undoubtedly been as uncomfortable for him as it was for her.

"Alright, Severus." she said, steeling herself as best she could. This was it. Time to get everything out into the open and squash any and all questions or doubts she might have had over these past few years.

"Mary believes that you fancy me. Her exact words were a bit more serious and intense than that-" she paused.

That was the understatement of the decade. She recalled Mary pulling her aside, telling her that her best friend was clearly in love with her. Despite Lily's desperate attempts to deny it, Mary would not be swayed in her observations, and what followed was an uncomfortable reality-check for Lily. So many of the monumental changes that Severus had undergone in such a short time, when less than a week ago their friendship had been on the brink of collapse. The way he'd look at her. Even suspicions that Lily herself had about the origin of his mystery Patronus that he'd alluded to, but never shown her, and how it almost certainly was a memory involving her. If it was powerful enough to take a shape, it was undeniably a deep-rooted emotion. His unspoken statement about fighting in the war, how she put two and two together that his boyhood fantasies of being a knight now extended to her, and her alone.

It was all there, and Lily couldn't deny it. She couldn't bring herself to ask the full extent of the question though, because the possibility of Severus being in love with her…it wasn't something she was prepared to consider.

"-but let's just leave it at that for the sake of simplicity. She thinks you like me. Is she right, Severus?"

Lily waited for her answer, unwilling to blink or tear her eyes away from him until she knew for certain.

"Please say no…" she thought.

Severus shut his eyes and inhaled a shaky, nervous breath, clearly trying to think of a diplomatic answer as he had done many times over these past few days.

"Please say no."

He opened his eyes back up, opening his mouth to prepare to answer.

"Please say no..!"

"Yes. She's right."

Lily's lip trembled slightly, holding her breath as she quietly asked the inevitable follow-up question.

"How long? When did you start to feel…that way about me?"

This time, there was no hesitation. His answer came instantly.

"Cokeworth Playground. The summer of 1969."

She lowered her gaze from those suffocating black pools, feeling a spike driven through her heart. That was the place that they'd played together as children, where he first revealed that she was a witch. More than that, it was where she first met him. That could only mean…

"You've…always felt this way?"

"Always." he affirmed.

Where Severus seemed to stand taller and more confidently now that he had revealed his feelings, Lily's posture wilted like a parched flower. How had she never seen it? Never thought for a second that her best friend of nearly seven years had been smitten with her since the day they met. And yet, now the feud between James Potter and Severus had a whole new wrinkle that she'd never considered until now.

This went beyond some hormonal, teenage attraction. If he felt this way since he was nine years old, then one thing was certain.

"He loves me…" Lily thought sadly, admitting that Mary's suspicions were right

That made this conversation all the more important for the both of them.

"I hope you realize my concern then, Severus. The wonderful thing you did for Mary, turning a corner on what I feared was a surefire path to becoming a Death Eater, you understand why it scares me to hear you say that.

"What's going to happen when I say that I care so much for you, that you're my best friend, and I'm flattered you think of me that way, but…that I don't feel the same way that you do?" she paused, letting her response hang in silence for a few seconds.

It had been such a sudden development for Lily that she had little time to even think about what it would be like to be together with Severus as a romantic couple. She had sincerely never thought about him that way. Typical, vain checklists filled with shallow things that she considered in a potential boyfriend like she had with Fabian never materialized for her in the case of Severus.

He wasn't a particularly attractive young man between his pale skin, his malnourished physique, and his mismatched, worn clothing. That was more to do with his means, living on the poverty-stricken side of town in Spinner's End rather than the nice, new neighborhood that Lily and her family moved into. She understood that, and because she never saw him as a romantic partner, physical attraction had never been an important part of the relationship to her.

Could he clean up his appearance and become someone that she found to be physically appealing? It was certainly possible. After all, the way he had carried himself had certainly grown infinitely more mature and adult in these past few days. It was so far outside of Lily's radar that it was never something to consider.

Then there was his attitude, which until very recently, had been unsettling and prickly. Increasingly darker, more angry, and more determined to lash out at the world for making his life so miserable. Few people understood Severus like she did, and until his sudden change in attitude, she was starting to believe that she was no closer to understanding him than they were. There was never any chance that a boy who fantasized about becoming a Death Eater could ever find a romantic place in her heart.

These changes…had they all been for her? In the hopes that she might finally return the feelings that he'd held so closely for as long as he'd known her?

"Are you going to be so disappointed and hurt by me rejecting you that you turn back towards that dark road?" she asked with trepidation.

It was a legitimate question for Lily to ask, but she was surprised to see Severus wave it off so casually.

"How can it be considered a rejection when I've never once confessed to you or asked you out? They're my feelings, Lily. Nothing more. Do not pressure yourself over something so trivial."

"Trivial?" Lily thought in confusion. "I see it now. Mary was right. You're in love with me. I can't return those feelings, and I know that has to hurt you. How in Merlin's name could that be considered trivial, Sev..?"

"I'm pressuring myself because I don't want to hurt you. I want you to be happy. To succeed in your life, to rise above the depressing hand you've been dealt and be as great a person as I know you can be, away from the garbage brainwashing that You-Know-Who keeps spreading. It's just that…if all you've done this past week is in some attempt to win me over, I'm sorry Sev, but I-"

"You aren't a prize to be won in some ridiculous contest, Lily." Severus interrupted her. "I knew a long, long time ago that how I felt was not returned. That's why I never said anything about it until you asked me today. I made my peace with that.

"What I did to Mulciber was not about trying to impress you or anything shallow of the sort. It was about righting a wrong: punishing a terrible person before he can do such foul things and worse to other people in the world. To remove an enemy the easy way before it's much more difficult to do so in the chaos of some faraway skirmish."

It was reassuring for Lily to hear her best friend's reasoning. It was true. Mulciber was, without question, going to be a Death Eater in very short order. And it was comforting to know that he viewed them, and Voldemort himself, as his enemies. Perhaps there was more to his change than his feelings for her after all.

Still…

"You're sure this doesn't hurt you, Sev?" Lily asked.

"I promise you." he responded emphatically. "If you're sure that we can still be friends despite you knowing how I feel, then I am not hurt or ashamed of you wanting to remain such. Simply remaining in your life…it's more than I could have dreamed."

It was an easy thing to say, but Lily knew otherwise. Now that she was aware of how Severus felt about her, everything would be different moving forward. She'd have to watch the things she said, be more particular in their conversations, perhaps even dress more conservatively in the summer holiday just to avoid the inevitable reactions she might bring to him.

It would be cruel for her to lead him on. Hopefully the day would come where another girl might come along and help cure him of the metaphorical Amortentia he'd been drinking since they were children.

"Someone like…Pandora!"

Lily's smile finally returned and she nodded her head. "It might be weird at first, but there's nothing I want more than to stay friends, Sev. You're my little slice of home that I get to bring with me to Hogwarts. That being said, I have an invitation. After the written portion of the Astronomy exam on Wednesday, would you like to come down to the spot at the lake with me and the girls? I've invited Pandora to come too. It'll be fun to relax for the day before some evening stargazing on the practical exam, don't you think?"

"It amazes me how you and your friends will waste so much of your lives chatting about the mundane with your bare legs dangling in the water, like a baited worm. It's almost daring the Grindylows to snatch one of you. And you want to get Pandora involved in that hazardous hobby?"

"Better than hiding under the shade of the tree, pretending you aren't looking at three pretty girls enjoying the water, isn't it Sev?" Lily teased. "Besides, it's shallow enough that the only thing bold enough to venture that close to shore is the giant squid, and that's harmless."

"Burning my flesh in the oppressive sunlight and being pestered for a handout by that giant glutton is hardly my idea of a good time, Lily. But I suppose I could spare that afternoon if you'd rather use it at the lake rather than studying for the remaining O.W.L.s in the Library.

"We've done that enough. It's the home stretch, so a bit of relaxation should keep our minds sharp for the final exams. Marlene and Mary have Magical Creatures tomorrow, all of us have Astronomy on Wednesday, me and the girls have Divination on Thursday while you're stuck in Arithmancy. History for all of us on Friday and then we're done!" Lily rambled excitedly.

"Why in Merlin's name did you choose Divination over Arithmancy, Oh Great Madam Lily?" Severus asked with his usual sarcasm.

"Had my fill of maths during Muggle primary school before my magic developed, thank you very much. I'll get you back for that at the lake, Sev." Lily laughed mischievously. "All of us took Divination, including Pandora. We could all give you a palm reading and see your future if you like."

For some reason, that joke made her best friend wince slightly. It was best not to pry; this conversation had been plenty serious and Lily wanted to leave it on a high note.

"A-anyway. Is that a yes, Sev? I'm sure Mary would appreciate the chance to thank you personally, and Marlene, the thickheaded lass she is, still could get to know you a bit better. At the very least, seeing you in the sunlight might help ease her little conspiracy that you're a vampire."

"Have it your way, Lily." He shrugged.

"Great. If I don't see you in the Great Hall tomorrow, we'll meet there after the written Astronomy test. Have a good night!" She chirped with a grin before departing towards the Grand Staircase with a wave of her hand.

Upon passing through the door behind the Fat Lady's portrait, Lily was immediately confronted by Mary.

"Well?" The brown-haired witch asked with an expectant grin, ignoring the drunken singing of James, Sirius, Marlene, and the rest of the rowdy Gryffindors who were scattered all over the plush furniture by the fireplace.

All three kegs of Butterbeer had clearly been emptied from the night's celebration. Pettigrew was helping himself to the last of the licorice wands.

"You were right, more than I feared you'd be." Lily sighed as they headed up the stairs towards girls' dormitories.

It was hard for Lily to rebound from the reality that her oldest friend was completely in love with her. How would things ever be normal again if she was unsuccessful in setting Severus up with Pandora?

"God, I hope I can study tomorrow. It's my last full day to do it, and here I am having my concentration being spun about like a Kneazle with a ball of yarn."

"Can we not talk about magical creatures, Lily? Some of us aren't so lucky to have a free day tomorrow and I've got a real live Kneazle to tend to for my practical." Mary pleaded as they reached the top of the girls' staircase.

"To Gryffindor!" Lily heard James Potter loudly cheer once the song was over with.

"To Gryff'n'dor!" Marlene slurred, leaning against James' chest in a fit of tipsy giggling.

Lily smiled, looking back and forth between Mary and their mutual friend.

"Well, Marlene might be one step closer to getting James Potter out of your hair." Mary smirked back before the two witches finally went to their dormitory to get ready for bed.

Author's Note: Well, it had to happen sooner than later, didn't it? I've said in the past that I felt the pairing of Severus and Lily was just too abrupt to make any sense when I first wrote Tempus Vita. One of the things I wanted to change, and have finally gotten to, is the fact that Lily is simply unable to accept those feelings at this time. There's a lot of reasons for it that I won't list, and even though Severus has changed significantly for the better in the days since his arrival back in 1976, there's more than friendship and hobbies that go into a relationship. In fact, friendship can often significantly hinder emotions from cropping up in both parties when it comes to childhood friends.

Is this the end of any hope that Severus has with Lily? Will she successfully set her best friend up with Pandora? I think you all know the answer to those questions, even if Lily herself does not. I think she underestimates the depths by which Severus has completely devoted himself to her very existence, but that's something that's going to remain unknown to her for a long time to come until such a time that she finds out the truth of his rebirth.

As always, thank you for your reviews and please keep them coming! It's always gratifying to read them.