Not With a Half-blood
Chapter 20: Heaven and Hell.
Harry woke up on the same uncomfortable bed he went to sleep in, a bit cold, missing Daphne, missing central heating.
He got up, tried to cast a wandless cleaning charm not very successfully, and started staring out the window. His back ached, but at least he had normal sized hands, and two good legs. He suspected he really was no taller, Daphne still fit exactly the way she always had. Harry sighed. He needed something to take his mind off the boredom. And to practice wandless magic. Not that anything hard went particularly well without a wand. A softer… cushioning charm, Harry thought, then sighed. He missed his wife, he missed their table, the banisters… lots of things.
He tried all day, and it was either his imagination, or the cot was a bit softer by the time the guard came with his meal on the tray.
The guard looked at Harry and asked "Are you well?"
"I'm bored and I miss my wife" said Harry. The guard nodded surprisingly sympathetically and said "Soon, your next visit to Frau Black."
After the guard left Harry managed to summon a small loose rock, and once he'd cushioning charmed the rock it was… less rocky, more… ball-ish when he dropped it.
The floor made a dull thud. Harry ate, while trying to cushion the floor.
Night fell, and he went to bed, summoning the banished blanket.
The next day, Harry got a wall and section of floor cushioning charmed and started throwing and catching his stone ball. It was… something to do, and he could either throw it or banish it.
When the key rattled in the lock, Harry hid the stone by slipping it into his bed.
Harry's routine now included ball throwing, bouncing the ball off the wall and floor, banishing the ball, and blanket, and cleaning charms. Which was getting more important every morning, after dreams of Daphne.
One morning, the door rattled far earlier than usual, and Harry simply threw the rock out the window to hide it.
"Sit on your chair" said the first of three guards "Time to visit Frau Black."
Harry sat quickly, and the guards opened up the metal hook on the wall by heating it red-hot, unhooked his chain and led him, wands drawn downstairs. It was, as usual five hundred steps down, and then they unlocked Daphne's cell door, and called out "Frau Black, your husband is here to visit."
Daphne's voice came from the other side of the door "Oh…. Just one moment!" she sounded very nervous.
The guards waited a little while, Daphne called out "I'm ready" and they pushed the door open, and one went in, wand drawn, and started casting spells.
"What!" yelled Daphne, sounding distraught.
"Silencing charms" said the guard in her cell, sounding a little bit amused.
Harry was led in, and his chain was added to Daphne's wall hook with a few metal-heating spells, and one of the guards un-shrank a basket from their robe pocket and left it on the table. The door locked with a few loud clicks.
Harry was already hugging Daphne "Oh dear, I've missed you" he said, and kissed her. It was a wet kiss to a crying woman, but Harry didn't mind. You can, he thought get over that.
Some time later he stopped for a breath, and Daphne murmured "Oh dearest, they even left food. Come, sit with me."
As there was only one chair, Harry sat and Daphne sat on his lap.
"You've got too thin" said Daphne, kissing his cheek, and opening the basket.
"Harry!" she exclaimed "There's a bottle of wine, bread and cheese. And a salami!"
"This calls for a celebration" said Harry, and they snogged.
"I can't kiss your neck properly with this stupid collar in the way" Harry grumbled.
"Well, neither can I" said Daphne, and they kissed.
"Harry" said Daphne thoughtfully "Before you get dead legs, lets go to my cot and eat the food. You're going to need lots of energy today."
Harry remembered to cushioning charm the cot before sitting on it.
"Was that a cushioning charm?" asked Daphne, sitting "Oh it was. I'll keep you around" she joked.
Harry and Daphne sat on the now more comfortable cot eating and drinking.
"This is very bad wine" noted Daphne. "But I don't care."
"They covered the room in silencing charms" noted Harry thoughtfully "And I can do a cushioning charm, and you can do a cleaning charm I assume?"
Daphne touched Harry's neck, and he felt a short sensation of coolness, then she, slightly tinglingly cleaned Harry. "Now we're both clean" suggested Daphne "How about we shag?"
Harry was already taking off his prison uniform, when Daphne grabbed his buttocks
"Oh I've missed you so" said Daphne, staring at his bum "Still… how I remember it" she said, and squeezed firmly, hands like pincers "Yup" she said "Get on the bed!"
Quite a lot later, Harry, quite out of breath, lay on the bed a bit sweaty, kissing Daphne's breasts.
Daphne smiled at Harry, eyes partly closed "We should have some more food, and get back into bed."
"We're still in bed" said Harry, pulling Daphne down for a tender kiss.
"Well, yes, but we can make love again. Who cares if the stupid guards have to wait." she said.
Hours later, feeling very pleased with life in general, and his wife in particular, who apart from being too thin was still totally gorgeous, Harry lay holding her in a fairly comfortable cot.
"You up for some more?" she asked.
"Ran out, you want some more?" Harry asked.
"I'd usually say tomorrow. Be a dear… just a few more to tide me over till next visit?" asked Daphne, and she fluttered her eyelashes. Harry wriggled down the cot and started to lick.
A lot later, with a stiff back and sore tongue, Harry sat up "Tired" he yawned.
"Come to bed" purred Daphne.
Harry went to sleep holding his witch.
Harry woke up with dead arm, a slight hangover, and… a warm, golden-haired blob in his arms. He inhaled, hoping this dream wouldn't end.
"It's tomorrow!" said Daphne "We're still in bed, and it's tomorrow!"
Harry blinked and squinted. Daphne was… sleepy, her hair a mess, drool on her face, and ecstatically happy. He leaned over and kissed her.
"Oh I'm so happy, but I need to pee" said Daphne.
They disentangled their chains, with a bit of tickling, and Daphne went and used the hole in the corner of the room, then came back and cast cleaning charms on her hands and face, and started combing her hair with her fingers. "It's good to see you with bed hair, Harry" she said, with a smile. Harry wished he had his damn glasses. He could only see her though a squint.
"Harry, go to the loo" said Daphne, her hair much more organised, still combing it with her fingers.
Harry went to the loo still naked, and Daphne made "mmm" noise.
Harry used his not-very-good cleaning charm, and thought to cleaning charm Daphne's wand hand.
Daphne poked his chest "Stay right there" she said and cleaning charmed Harry in a number of private places "Now" she said "It's been a while… but I think you deserve…"
Harry was already excited.
They were lying on the cot under a sheet when the door unlocked, and a guard came in, dropped off two trays of food and took the basket. Totally ignoring them. The door locked again.
"That" said Daphne "Was disturbingly like room service."
After two glorious days, Harry decided the guards had just… decided they could be together or something. He didn't really care.
"I miss our children" said Daphne over their daily meal. Harry nodded "They'll visit again. Caph will insist."
One of the guards transfigured the cot bigger as they delivered two trays of food.
Once the door was locked, Daphne said "This is like the worst hotel ever" said Daphne. "I'm never going camping again."
Harry burst out laughing. "You, camping?" he asked.
"We took a magical tent. It was dreadful" said Daphne. "I had to share a room with my sister."
Harry could barely breathe he was laughing so hard.
Daphne poked him "Stop laughing" she said stiffly
"Last time I went camping" said Harry, taking several breaths to get his composure back "Hermione, Ron and I were on the run from the entire government and Voldemort, and his army looking for things we didn't know what, or where, Hermione was the only one with money and it ran out by winter and we had to eat was very few mushrooms and the odd fish. We all nearly died."
Daphne looked at Harry and shook her head "You are ridiculous. Come back to bed."
Harry summoned both blankets and said "I'm not hiding the blankets… and frankly I think we should get some pillows."
Attempting to summon pillows got Harry two pillows after an hour of trying..
Daphne took one and put it on her side of the barely three-quarters sized cot. "It's too hard" she said.
"That hardly ever happens" said Harry blandly, to a poke from Daphne, and used a cushioning charm on the pillow, then Daphne cleaned it with a wandless cleaning charm.
Harry's pillow was cleaned as well, and they lay back in bed.
"We have blankets and pillows." said Harry "This is now a zero-star hotel."
"Ahem" said Daphne "What about getting some exercise? Or a fire?"
"There's no chimney" said Harry kissing Daphne.
"Wandless warming charms?" asked Daphne "sounds a bit… hard."
"It's hard" said Harry. "If we had some jars, we could make bluebell flames. Hermione used to carry them around to stay warm at Hogwarts in winter."
Daphne pushed Harry away "What were the jars for?" asked Daphne.
"So we could… move them and not burn stuff" said Harry.
"I spy with my little eye something beginning with … Stone, stoneety stone" said Daphne "Can you remember the charm?"
"I think so" said Harry "Along the walls?"
"Don't set the bed and blanket on fire." said Daphne.
It was days later that Harry made a tiny bluebell flame on the floor near the wall.
"Great!" said Daphne, who'd cleaned their uniforms and all seven sets of her underwear in the meantime. "Now make a hundred more."
Harry waved his hand at the flame "finite!" he said carefully and the fire went away.
"Okay, coming up, one hundred bluebell flames. And some over by the toilet hole." said Harry.
"Be a dear and warm my rear" said Daphne. Harry used his hands, and Daphne squeaked "Harry!" she said.
"Well… my hands are fairly warm" he said.
"Bluebell flames first" said Daphne "I think that if we were warm in here, the food would go further, we might put a little weight back on."
Harry set to work with his index finger, casting bluebell charms and several hours later, the two side walls of the room had rows of tiny bluebell flames, and some along the inner wall.
Harry got up and looked at the window "If we had a spare blanket, we could maybe rig it up to block the window" he said aloud. "We've got light from the bluebell flames."
"Harry, get us another blanket or better, a tarpaulin, some sticks and string" asked Daphne.
"Won't the guards notice?" asked Harry.
"It's a different guard day on day off" said Daphne. "They probably have no idea what the other guard has done."
Harry got the pieces of an improvised shutter by summoning them, and Daphne put it together, and blocked the window with it. She was the one that had eyes that worked properly, after all.
That might they were warm. Harry woke up warm-ish, holding Daphne. He missed the en-suite, missed walking around, missed his little children, missed Caph's ridiculous spoilt behaviour.
He thought for a bit and realised he missed absolutely everything from his life… except Daphne, she was here. He snuggled closer. He realised he missed Daphne having pretty clothes, dressing up, that look she'd get. Heck, he even missed his bloody cologne. It did seem to get Daphne excited from halfway across the room. He'd seen her inhale. Harry inhaled. Daphne smelt a bit rank, as did Harry. Cleaning charms, especially wandless ones missed some things.
Days later, long warm winter days in bed with Daphne, or exercising in the cell, the door rattled. Harry summoned the shutter, dropped it under the bed, and dispelled the bluebell flames. The room looked very yellow suddenly.
The guards came in, this time there were four guards "Visitors are coming." one said.
Chains magically disconnected from the again red-hot hook on the wall, they were led down to the meeting room. It was slightly easier than last time, Harry felt. Less rushed anyway.
Once their chains looped through the wall hooks, and the hooks heated red-hot to close them up, a signal must have been sent, because Caphs' voice echoed up the hallway "You have to take us to mummy and daddy right now!"
Soon Harry was covered in children. They smelt so good.
"Daddy smells!" said Effie. Harry squinted, trying to see who was in the room.
Percy Weasley spoke up and came over "Harry, we got you some glasses, and he handed Harry a glasses-case.
Harry fumbled the glasses out and put them on, and the room was suddenly in stark focus.
"Oh thanks Percy" said Harry looking up at a worried, lined Percy. He looked older than he remembered Arthur being when Harry had met first him. Harry looked over at the other chair, at the far end of the room, and Daphne sat, lined, dirty and dishevelled, covered in their children, squealing, complaining and being utterly wonderful. Harry teared up. He blinked and looked around, Andromeda was looking a lot older too. Caph did have that effect on people. Beside Andromeda stood a teenager, a gangly boy with black hair was staring at the floor. "Teddy?" Harry called out and the boy looked up, tears in his eyes "Uncle Harry" he said, his voice cracking. Harry couldn't help a snicker. "Come here!" Harry called out "You'll have to pull quints off me. I'd like a hug."
Harry stood up, like a careworn Gulliver covered in giant midgets, and Teddy hugged Harry awkwardly. Harry patted the boy on the back "Hey, less fighting, more getting good marks." said Harry lightly, and held Teddy at arms length. "I only just get glasses again and you're so big. You're a young man now."
"Uncle Harry" said Teddy, sniffling "I've… I've missed you."
"Well, I've missed everyone." said Harry "I'm sorry I missed end of term."
"Uncle Harry, you're in Prison, in Nurmengard. Of course you missed end of term!" said Teddy.
Harry held Teddy who might have manfully sniffled a bit. Harry stroked Teddy's back "Sorry chum" he said "I had no idea going to the seaside with your aunt could go so wrong."
Teddy sniffled and said quietly"They said you and Aunty Daphne went to the beach for moral purposes."
"Teddy" said Harry gently "I have seven children. And you, we go to the beach to relax. Well, we probably never will again."
"Do you not love them, Uncle Harry?" asked Teddy. Harry but his lip "Teddy, I love you all a lot. It's just, once Caph's asleep, it's nice to go and swim in the sea."
Teddy sighed "Uncle Harry, since you went missing we've been living at Potter Manor. If was me at the sea after a day of Caph I might drown myself."
"She's not that bad" said Harry.
"She threatened to set an adder on me" said Teddy.
"Caph!" said Harry and Caph looked up from her mothers hair. "Daddy?" she asked.
"$Did you threaten an adder on edward?$" Harry hissed. The guards drew their wands.
"$He said I had to leave the room so he and Altair could have boy talk!$" Hissed Caph in reply.
The Guards, wands pointed at Harry jerked and pointed at Caph.
"$They are being sillies$" hissed Caph. "$It's just talking$."
"$Caph was being a pain$" hissed Altair.
All the quints by now were hissing instead of speaking. Harry stared at a worried looking Teddy, then slapped the table "In English!" he said loudly.
One of the guards said something in german "We should burn out the whole nest of dark wizards"
Daphne smiled and said quite loudly "My children are not dark wizards, neither is my husband. He is a famous defeater-of-dark-wizards. What is your name, please?"
"Be quiet prisoner" said the guard in german.
"Andromeda, Mister Weasely, that one said 'we should burn out the whole nest of dark wizards'" said Daphne "Make whatever you will of that." She said, her voice quavering.
Percy, who'd been standing around looking purposeless, took out a notebook and asked the guard in question "What is your name please?"
"I don't have to answer your questions" said the guard.
Percy nodded "Now, I'll get the list of all guards at Nurmengard, perhaps the commandant will give me just this shift, and we, that is the British ministry of magic will add your names to our terrorism watch-list. Which we will circulate back to the ICW." he said, blandly, as if discussing cauldron bottom-thickness.
"Snake speakers are evil, everyone knows that" said the guard.
"Well, in Britain, we know the Slytherin's… which Harry Potter-black and his children are the last of, aren't evil. But anyone threatening their lives is by definition a terrorist." said Percy. "We're quite used to dark wizards trying to come to the country and attack Harry's family, and we mostly stop them. Otherwise Harry does, and we have trouble identifying the bodies."
"He is a prisoner here, not us!" said the guard.
"Well, for now" said Percy "Britain is still investigating leaving the ICW, so that we can threaten to declare war to get Harry and his delightful wife back."
"Percy?" asked Andromeda "I'm sure they don't need any more details than that."
One of the other guards spoke up "We have them in one room again. They have a common cot. It's not my fault!"
Andromeda spoke to Harry "Oh Harry, are you two love-birds in a shared room again. How delightful."
Harry smiled politely to Andromeda in return and hugged Teddy.
"Uncle Harry" said Teddy. "Lemme go. I'm not a little kid. Like… Sirius for example."
"Sirius!" said Harry and his possibly youngest son launched himself into Harry's lap, a foot landing on Harry's bits.
Harry winced. "Easy boy" gasped Harry "I'll need that later."
After more cuddles, Rigel, who looked quite Harry-like announced "I need a loo."
"Time to go home" said Andromeda.
The crying started. First Rigel, then the rest of the quints, then Caph stagily sniffling.
Teddy seemed to have Altair convinced to be "a big boy."
"Caph" Harry called out and his eldest daughter came over, took a hug and kiss on the hair "Please be good Caph" asked Harry gently "Mrs Foster doesn't need any more grief."
"I'd never!" protested Caph. "Great-great-Grandmother Erzabet says it's unseemly to harass the staff."
Extra guards came to drag off Harry's children.
"If any of them are hurt" said Daphne "Feel free, Andromeda to declare blood vendetta against the guards."
"Once I've got my wand back, dear" said Andromeda.
Percy stayed behind, and pulled a leather satchel out of his robe pocket. "Erm" he said "I have some briefs for Mr Potter-Black and his wife. Feel free to listen in, but be warned. You might not like what you hear."
Harry stared at Percy, who stood awkwardly by the table, leaning over shuffling papers "No chance of chair?" asked Percy. "I do have a lot to talk about.?"
The guards shuffled about.
"Now the first matter. The ICW have returned your…. Hallows. We had some… people check and we're pretty sure they've been used" said Percy.
Harry interrupted "That will cost them. They had no right to hold them, and I do not lend them. Percy, They'd better be back with family. That goes for the Ministry too."
Percy swallowed "I uh… communicated that to the department in question, and Kingsley… stopped their salaries. They… have determined that all have been used, and well,"
"They resurrected some people, didn't they?" asked Harry.
"Well, the mugwump for Spain's mother who everyone thought was dead is apparently recovering from a long illness." said Percy "And the Minister for France's sister is a lot healthier than last month's Le Monde Magique said."
"Spain and France." said Daphne "Austria? Germany?"
"Undersecretary Koebler's wife is looking quite lively, considering she died last year" said Percy "Austria… we think that by the way the head of the Department of Treasury is on holiday, that her husband's terminal case of broken neck cleared up."
"Of course" said Percy "We don't have perfect information. Educated guesses, a bit of divinaition suggest about twenty or so people."
"They're not… probably not going to stay alive" said Harry. "The stone is cursed. Hell, the wand is cursed. Are they all muggleborns?"
"Of course not" said Percy "They have serious, well playing jobs. Not a lot of muggleborns in jobs like that."
"So no excuse for not knowing the story of the three brothers better" said Harry.
"The ICW are being quite obstructive in our Mugwumps requests for case information in your case" said Percy "We have managed to get secondhand testimony that the statute breach happened when the Spanish Emergency Response Rapid Action force checked out the scene of the explosion, and your car was recorded flying."
"Someone put a wand in it" said Daphne. "Someone with magic. And not us, as I had one broken arm, one leg missing and Harry had no hands or legs."
Harry looked at one hand and started to laugh, a croaky, shuddering laugh.
"What's so funny ?" asked Percy.
"I didn't notice" said Harry "But the scar's gone. Umbridge's dark magic quill thing. No more 'I must not tell lies' on my right hand."
"Really?" asked Daphne "I didn't notice either. Well… that still wasn't worth it." she said bluntly.
"Someone in the Spanish thingy" said Harry "Is a wizard, and broke the statue."
"I think" said Percy levelly "Most high-powered threat response forces have a wizard. But… not breaking the statute."
"The statute doesn't have a carve-out for that" said Daphne.
"It's awkward" said Percy, with a meaningful glance.
"They want help, and the top of government knows" translated Harry "They need to keep their tame wizards from letting people make TV recordings of stuff."
"As you can imagine" said Percy "Your appeal is not going terribly well at the ICW."
"We didn't intentionally breach the statue. That's some Spanish wizard" said Harry.
Percy nodded "Events are still unfolding" he said, and rose from the table
-==0==-
A spectacled, dark haired man closed the door of his apartment and walked in, humming to himself.
He poured some wine from a bottle in the fridge and turned on his television.
Spanish television flooded the room, and he sat down on couch to sip and watch the show.
The front door burst open with a bang and three red-robed men in eight sided hats burst in and drew wands on the man.
"Evan Miranda, you are being questioned in the matter of a breach of the international statute of Wizarding secrecy" said the first one, and the second summoned Evans' wand from his jacket.
"The..." said Evan, paling.
"The Spanish inquisition" said the third wizard, "Our principal tool is surprise."
The second red-robed wizard elbowed the third "No. I'm not doing that bloody skit" he said.
-==0==-
Harry woke in the prison cot, Daphne a warm reassuring lump, to the sound of the improvised shutter falling down. Daphne bolted upright, and Harry struggles to find his glasses.
Through the wand-light George Weasley said "I've got a Mr and Mrs Black to pick up here, destination Little Hangleton?"
George seems to be floating in mid-air.
"We're using the car" said George "seems poetic."
"George, they'll notice we're gone" said Daphne practically.
"Decoy dummies." said George "Theo made them, I charmed them."
George stepped into the cell through the window, and lifted his wand.
Behind George, a masked figure threw two thick strings into the room.
"I'll just pull the dummies in" said George, and he did one-handed.
Harry stared at the female dummy; it had the right hair colour but ridiculous proportions and bright red lips. "George" said Harry sternly. Then he saw the Harry dummy. It had what was practically a birds nest dyed black on it's head, and solid green eyes.
"These are unrealistic" said Harry, getting out of the cot. George tossed the dummies into the bed, and pulled a blanket over them, and they looked like two people in a prison cot.
"Drop of blood on each, and natter to them for a minute" said Goerge,, hand over some needles "So they mutter realistically."
"What do they do?" asked Daphne.
"Lie in bed, roll over" said George "Talk in your voices…. Get cracking."
George took out a rune-covered stone and stuck it to the bottom of the table.
The drop of Harry's blood made the dummy reform and look disturbingly lifelike, if glassy-faced.
"Morning Daphne" said Harry, feeling stupid "You want first trip to the loo? The slop looks nice today. Do you feel cold? I feel cold. Oh dear, I miss the children too. Dear, you look beautiful."
"That'll do Harry" said George tersely.
Daphne went with "Mmmh Geroff, Not today, I've got a headache. I need to use the loo. I'm cold. Bring me the food. Harry, I love you. I miss the children" and finally "I want a bath."
"Always the romantic, Mrs Black" said George drily. "Get in the car ?"
Daphne clambered into the cavernous back seats where the dummies had been, then Harry followed.
One last thing Harry" said George, and summoned Harry's glasses, and put them on the dummy.
"I can't see" said Harry.
"We've got another pair" said Theo Nott from under the mask "We need to get going."
George climbed into the car and shut the door, and the back door closed automatically. "Auto doors, Dad added it," George explained "Now, we're going to fly home invisibly and very quietly. Daphne, there's glasses in the seat pocket in front of you for specks there. And after that, food in the cabinet.
Harry pulled the travel rug out of its compartment and spread it on Daphne, then himself by feel, and then Daphne put glasses on his nose. He could see again, and he turned to Daphne, who smiled "We're free" she said, and kissed him.
Harry kissed back, and some time later George cleared his throat very loudly and said "Um… we will probably have to take you two back to Nurmengard at some point, Percy says they can't hold you for more than a few more months, with the way things are going. So before that, you'll need to go back. In the meantime though, plenty to eat, central heating, and all your brood."
"That's twice you've done this" said Harry.
"Eh, you're my adopted little brother. I kind of have to. Beside your kids are driving everyone up the wall" said George.
"Harry" said Theo Nott awkwardly "I'm using an ordinary wand to fly the car. Hermione says the word is subsonically. So the noise suppression works, and the new heat-spreading charm works. The Radar stuff we're just absorbing right now. It's meant painting the car matte-black, sorry.
"Looks cool really" said George "And made it easier to fly to Nurmengard. Less light glinting off the doors when they get outside the invisibility generator's range."
Harry fell asleep. He woke up, sitting in the back seat of the car, under a rug with Daphne. George opened both back doors and helped them out, onto the gravel of the old Riddle house. It looked to be in good condition, and the sun was just rising.
"I would kill" said Daphne "For a hot bath."
George handed out slippers, in the shape of fluffy blobs, that were warm and softer than gravel.
Theo fussed around with his wand, checking for tracking charms. "We checked en-route while you were asleep, but It never hurts to check" he added.
Hermione appeared with a crack "Oh Harry!" she said excitedly "You're here, and Daphne. We've got the bathroom all set up."
Harry was apparated side-along to his bathroom, where someone had space-enlarged the bathroom again, and the bath was now a double. And full of hot bubbles. Harry got in and vaguely recalled Daphne getting in, then falling asleep. He woke up in a warm bath with his wife. Who was scrubbing herself.
"Hello" he said gently.
"I'm almost clean" said Daphne "Then I'm off to bed. Clean yourself, Mr Black., you're a dirty old man."
Harry picked up a nail brush and started working on his nails.
Daphne submerged and surfaced, hair wet "Oh yes" she said smiling "Hot water. I'm going to become a fish."
Then she poured on shampoo and started scrubbing. It smelt… like Daphne's hair always … normally did. Harry looked around and there was his normal shampoo. He cleaned his mop energetically. Four rinses later, Daphne sighed "It's good to be home" she said.
Harry wiggled a shampoo-covered finger in his ear "I love this bathroom so much" he said. "I thought I'd never be clean again."
"Harry" said Daphne "Clean your crevices carefully. There will be a test later."
"What sort of test" asked Harry.
"A taste test, of course" said Daphne nonchalantly, standing up, sudsy water running down her body. His charmed glasses showed him that Daphne had lost weight, and still had faint pink scars.
Then she turned the shower on and rinsed her hair, which looked much cleaner, even if her light brown roots were showing. She eyed her reflection in the mirror "Oh my hair" she said.
"It's beautiful the way it is" said Harry.
"Sez you" said Daphne, stepping out, wrapping a bath sheet around herself and opening the hand-basin cupboards and taking out a bottle.
"Really Daphne?" asked Harry "today?"
"I want to feel in control" said Daphne tightly "So, I'm bleaching my roots. Get out of the bath unless you want blonde hair."
Harry rinsed using the shower, and wrapped himself in a heated baht sheet, and dried his hair with a towel. He looked in the mirror; a black mess.
"You look fine" said Daphne "Now shoo, I need some room."
Harry went to into his actual bedroom, warm and dry, with a massive warm bed. He put on the green pyjamas, and got onto the bed, Just to try it out. He was asleep seconds later.
Harry woke up, feeling crushed. He opened his eyes. He's slept with his glasses on, and the bed was now covered in sleeping children. All of them. Beside him, Daphne slept, her visible hairline blonde and dry, most of her hair wrapped up for sleep. She looked tired and lined, but peaceful. His children, in a variety of sleepwear, mostly quite muggle sleep suits, lay on the bed, clutching the blankets.
At one edge, Teddy lay, fast asleep in a set of manly looking tartan pyjamas. Effies right foot was wedged against his head, and that can't have been comfortable.
Harry contemplated moving, which would wake up the whole lot. Daphne solved all that by waking up and calling out "Edward Lupin!"
Teddy woke up with a start, brained himself on Effies foot and fell off the bed with a thump.
Effie, Caph, Altair, Sirius, Hesper Stella and Rigel all woke up and shouted variously "Mummy. Daddy" and Harry was pretty sure one called out "Loo."
"Anyone need the loo?" asked Harry. Hesper nodded, and Daphne pointed to the ensuite. Hesper got up and padded off. The loo flushed eventually.
Meanwhile, children demanded hugs and kisses. Harry and Daphne had no difficulty providing them.
"Teddy, tell Mrs Foster we're ready for breakfast" said Daphne. Teddy got, up and went to leave.
"Teddy" Harry asked and Teddy came over and Harry hugged him tightly "Love you boy" Harry said. Teddy mumbled something and left.
Harry looked on his bedside table, and there, brown and sticky, was his wand. He picked it up and it felt like an old friend.
"Dressing gowns" said Daphne to Harry, and Harry flicked his wand and summoned seven children's dressing gowns into the room, and then Daphne's black silk one with green trim, and Harry's (mostly) child-proof tartan one.
"Come on you lot" said Harry, getting out of bed "We're going down to the kitchen for breakfast"
Altair looked stricken "Dad" he said "You um… can't" he said.
"Can't go into the kitchen, our kitchen for breakfast?" asked Harry. Altair nodded "Dining room. Please."
"Come on you lot, Dining room it is" said Harry. Daphne picked up her wand, slid out from under the children and banished her hair wrap to the bathroom, and pulled on her dressing gown, and put a charm into her hair to hold it back "I love you all" said Daphne sentimentally "But your father and I have had very little to eat for ages, and we'd appreciate breakfast."
Teddy ran back into the bedroom, his hair red-tipped "Mrs Foster says breakfast has to be in – "
"The dining room. Altair remembered" said Harry.
With a daughter on each leg, like Gulliver, Harry could hardly move, but staggered across the parlour to the hallway, then Andromeda appeared, in a well-fitting brown robe "Children" she said politely "Please let your parents go. They need to take the stairs, and you four are not helping."
"Yes nan" said Effie quietly and let Harry's leg go. Unburdened, Harry and Daphne … and seven noisy children got down the stone stairs to the ground floor, and straight across into the dining room. Which was set for breakfast.
Harry walked to the end chair and sat, Daphne sitting to his right, and the children hopping up onto chairs, Andromeda sitting at the other end. Like a referee. Teddy came in last and draped a cloth over one arm "Requests?" he asked.
"Oh we've got a waiter" said Daphne with a smile "A full cooked breakfast Teddy, for both of us"
Teddy did actually deliver two cooked breakfasts.
"You're a dear" said Daphne "Children… feed!" she said. Seven locusts thrummed with excitement.
"Daphne" said Andromeda drily "You needn't encourage them"
Harry lifted the cover on a tray with his wand and with a few flicks, had a strip of bacon on every child's plate. The scrambled egg, he levitated over.
"I can do that Harry" said Andromeda "You two eat up."
Harry lowered the scrambled-eggs platter to the table and slid his wand into his dressing gown pocket, and dug in. It all tasted absolutely delicious. He looked over and Daphne had a look, often associated with culinary rapture on her face (or fornication). She swallowed and spoke "I'd forgotten" she said "How good a cook Jimmy really is."
Harry ate very slowly, annoyingly reminded of first night back at Hogwarts after starving at the Durselys.
Daphne wiped her lips on a napkin "I take it we can't see the kitchen for some … celebratory reason?" she asked.
Andromeda nodded "The timing was nearly right, so we moved some things around" she said.
"What timing?" asked Harry.
"Well, it's July thirty-first" said Andromeda. "Happy birthday Harry."
"Oh" said Harry "There's… going to be a party?"
"No" said Andromeda "Not unless every family member in both extended families can keep a secret. Fortunately… Hermione remembered about the fidelious charm."
"A fidelious charm?" asked Harry.
"Will be cast in a few hours" said Andromeda "The secret will be substantially that Harry and Daphne are home for a few months."
"She's getting a really expensive Yule present." said Harry.
"It does have one disadvantage" said Andromeda tightly "You won't know for a minute or so where you are. The children won't know you're here either."
"Oh" said Daphne, paling. "That's going to be ugly."
"We'll be casting it in here, and tell everyone immediately" said Andromeda.
Harry nodded.
"Your guests will be told when they arrive" said Andromeda.
Feeling full, Harry went into the snug and lay on the couch with Daphne, and was dog-piled by children.
A few moments later he ... rested his eyes. Mrs Foster woke him.
"Sir" she said politely "I'd like to say, on behalf of the staff, how pleased we are you see you and Madam Black back."
Thank you" said Harry politely.
"Foster" said Daphne the party we don't know about… when won't it be, so we can get dressed. And get this lot dressed as well?"
"Mrs Tonks will have them under control, likely" said Mrs Foster "Two pm. Maam, and we'll soon have you feeling your old selves again."
Daphne raised an eyebrow.
"You have Three hours maam." said Mrs Foster.
"Three hours?" asked Daphne "I look like a hag. I'll need all of them."
"Mrs Tonks said you'd say that maam" said Mrs Foster "So she's got help waiting."
"Help?"
"Miss Davis, Maam"
"Trace!" said Daphne and she tried to extricate herself from the pile of children.