The price. There was always a little price both of us paid for each of the battles we faced. Whether it was a physical or emotional, or worse both, there was always a price to be paid.
I don't think either of us were prepared for the price we would pay when we faced one of the fiercest warrior kind my soulmate had come across. Ones, that in the past, The Destroyer of Nations had faced and decided that retreat was for the best.
While there had been other times I had defied Xena, it was because I hadn't understood. Or I hadn't been mature enough to realize that I didn't realize my own mind.
This time was so different. I could see my soulmate losing a part of herself. The one that I had helped build. The one that fought for the greater good. If she completely let go of that part of herself, would she be able to make it back?
I shiver at the thought. Xena struts in. Her timing is perfection, as usual. The hunt lasted a bit longer than usual. Perhaps it lasted as long as required so that she could be home just as I needed her.
Freezing hands were upon my shoulders. Normally, the gesture is meant as a tease. I've not done well with the cold, while Xena is like a natural heater of some kind. It became worse after we were trapped in the cave and on the run from cannibals…
A deep breath is expelled as I have to concentrate on the current price we paid. The emotions run high. Nearly as high as the battle so long ago.
I think the introduction to this particular adventure is to be a shorter one. It needs to be related, as do they all, but I think I've said enough.
The price we paid was losing a bit of ourselves. And in the end, I think I gained the most. Xena faced an enemy she hadn't been able to defeat before and losing herself again and that was terrifying. But I learned, more than just me spouting it over and over again, how words can be a bridge. Can make peace. If only someone takes a chance that might get them killed.
THE PRICE
Fishing for the warrior and bard was never simple. This time, they had made a game of it. In fact, they fought, playfully, over who would catch the fish. Gabrielle was bound and determined to make the fish her dinner.
Far more beautiful place? Gabrielle was inwardly giggling. Perhaps it was because they had recommitted after Ulysses had attempted to act upon his attraction to her soulmate.
Philosophical. Gabrielle had been becoming more and more so lately. This one was a bit of a stretch. That we were all fish? Just waiting to burst forth from the cold water…
The hand reaching out startled the bard. The message was cryptic. The horde? Who were they? And where was this garrison?
The moment the word was out the soldier's mouth, Xena was yelling to pack her things. Gabrielle asked about her sword? Wouldn't she needed it to fight whoever this horde was?
Run. move. Gabrielle couldn't remember her heart racing this fast. There were so many fights. There was one time. One that the bard normally was able to block out. That was when she nearly lost her soulmate.
Fighting on the run was nothing new. They'd done it on more than one occasion. Still, the confusion Gabrielle felt was nearly overwhelming, if only because she had no idea who their enemies truly were.
The river. The canoe. It wasn't safe, either. The attack continued. Finally, there was a calm in the constant attack, but not before Xena saved her bard's life with her nearly impossible reflexes and the oar she was using.
Gabrielle would have to thank her soulmate. She would also have to cringe at the story that unfolded. Xena's entire army was wiped out. Even the fierce Destroyer of Nations could only run and hide.
When the unforgiving warrior had returned, there had been nothing left of her army. The soldiers had been skinned to the bones. The imagery caused Gabrielle to shudder. Inwardly and outwardly.
Was following the river the safest bet? Xena didn't sound so confident, at least not to the bard. And the warning. It wasn't cryptic. It was terrifying. Things would be worse. But how much worse?
The further up the river they went, the eerier it became. That's when Gabrielle began hearing the calls. Men were calling for Athena. They had to be helped. Why wouldn't Xena be the one to help save them?
It was different when the man attempted to swim to them. How could they not save him? While Gabrielle still wanted to save those tied and left to die, this one was making his way toward them.
At first, Xena refused. Finally, she relented. But at what cost? The man even begged to let him go as the warriors were catching up. Now she was telling Gabrielle that she couldn't fight if she had to think about saving her bard.
Suddenly, soldiers were coming out of the woodwork. One of the men carried the wounded soldier. They helped escort Gabrielle and her soulmate until they found themselves inside some kind of garrison.
At first, Gabrielle was relieved. But when she overheard how the men refused to even man the walls after repeated orders, her heart began to sink. And when Xena said you can't reason with dead people. That these men were as dead as those on the riverbank…
As Gabrielle inspected the garrison and troops, she overheard a word she never had. What or who was Kaltaka? The soldiers on the banks had been calling out for Athena. Perhaps it was one of their gods. No one had yet to even taken the chance to ask.
Hopefully Xena could work her magic. Gabrielle didn't want these men to give up. But her soulmate's words were nearly haunting. It was a precursor to when the warrior princess had become enshrouded with Ares energy and had nearly slaughtered a village in revenge of her so-called father.
It was surreal watching the transformation. Not just of the despondent soldiers, but also of her soulmate. Gabrielle watched as the soldiers gathered around Xena. And how they reacted when she uttered something she thought she'd never hear here warrior princess say. 'Kill 'em all!'
Not being able to stand the cheers, Gabrielle made her way to the infirmary. Where were the doctors? Nurses? Anyone to care for the wounded? The smartass answer was the goddess of mercy, meaning there weren't any.
Battle conditions equaled an overload of patients. And with no one to treat them, it left the warrior princess' apprentice nurse. Not that that was how many would see Gabrielle.
Gabrielle was exhausted. She wasn't certain how long it was before the infirmary was in some sort of order. It was something the bard was reluctantly proud of.
As soon as Gabrielle began explaining the setup, Xena immediately was making changes. Normally, the bard would bow before her soulmate's experience. But taking her nurses so they could hold a weapon was not fair. How was she supposed to keep the death toll down?
And just like that, Gabrielle realized Xena didn't care about those wounded. Let them die. It was the bard's choice on who was considered serious and those that would live. Water and food only for those that would make it. That were able to fight. This was not the woman she had travelled with for how many seasons now.
There was no way Gabrielle could say who lived and died. There was no way she could watch, after the horde had begun retreating, and watch as Xena threw the axe and killed the man without thought.
And worse was the chants. Gabrielle saw the glint in azure eyes. She'd seen it before. She'd hoped never to see it again. The bard knew it was up to her to find a way, a peaceful way, to end this conflict. Especially after taking her patient away, just barely before he took his last breath.
Yelling at her for feeding the sick and injured. What the Tartarus was going on with Xena? Saving our skins? At what cost? Gabrielle didn't mean the lives of the men. She meant their very souls.
Had Xena ever attempted to communicate with the horde? Had anyone attempted to? Or was slaughter the only thing anyone seemed to realize.
The order to give the ration to the men on the wall would be obeyed. Gabrielle would do it, but it would haunt her for the rest of her young life.
It made no sense to the bard. Xena brought in one of the enemy. They had used the trick, just so she could find a survivor. Give them information, one way or another. Gabrielle shivered at the lengths to which The Destroyer of Nations would go to.
The pinch. How many times had Gabrielle watched as Xena used that particular weapon to extract information? But it was pure murder if her soulmate allowed this man to die. And she knew it as how many times was the bard told to go outside?
Back to the hospital? Why? So it was Gabrielle's turn to pick and choose once again? Gratefully, Xena released the pinch and ordered the man chained up in the supply room
Xena's troops? Her orders? It was dizzying how things were becoming out of control. Gabrielle could see that wild look in azure eyes. Who was this woman standing before the bard? A chill ran up and down her spine as the warrior princess said the part that could help them no longer existed and ordered her back to work.
Gabrielle couldn't make her way back to the infirmary without making a stop in the supply room. It caused her to be face to face with the enemy.
As the soldier continued to call out, Gabrielle finally realized something. Kaltaka had a very important meaning, she discovered. It was water.
The discovery gave the bard an idea. One that she knew Xena would not like one iota. Gabrielle still dropped her soulmate's name to be allowed to leave the walls of the fort. She would give water to enemy and Athenian soldiers alike.
As it turned out, it was a good and bad thing that Gabrielle managed a truce. Mercer had been sent for reinforcements, but barely returned with his life. And Xena had the battle to the death she had been planning on all along.
Angry. Depressed. Confused. Gabrielle wasn't certain all that she was feeling. She just knew she couldn't wait for this to be over. Whether they escaped with their lives or it did result in their deaths.
When the soldier suddenly appeared, Gabrielle wondered what he wanted. Imagine her surprise when he was sent to help with tending the wounded and had brought food to feed those in the bard's care.
Even with the sort of peace offering, Gabrielle decided the infirmary was the place to remain. It was the place she could continue to do the greatest good.
When Xena arrived, the bard was skeptical. When her warrior princess apologized, she understood. No matter what, sometimes one's past can harm one's present, even future. And fear was one of the evilest motivators around.
If there wasn't a war still waging around them and wounded to be tended, Gabrielle would properly apologize and accept the apology she was given. She loved her warrior princess. Some things needed privacy. Later.
As much as she loathed it, Gabrielle understood that their communication wasn't only tentative. For now, they spoke the ways of the warrior. And two leaders battling to the death was the way these soldiers understood.
There was one thing Gabrielle would never do. She would never leave. She would walk down whatever path they had to face. Together.
Watching the fight was always a mix of exhilaration and absolute terror. Even as good as Xena was, Gabrielle knew it was only one wrong move or one lucky move on her opponent's part for things to end deadly.
It was Gabrielle's cry that warned Xena. The bard had been certain the horde had been aiming their weapons for her soulmate. Instead, it was their own leader who had chosen not to fight to the death who had paid the ultimate price.
It was a long time before they relaxed, even a little. Gabrielle had to ask the question. Could anyone stop them? The answer was not surprising. Her soulmate was honest saying it wouldn't be warriors like her. It would be someone like the bard who would find a way to truly communicate.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Xena loved fishing in the nontraditional ways. Especially when it became competition. While she could have easily won, she loved to see her soulmate happy.
Especially since Xena knew how happy it made Gabrielle. And when her soulmate was happy, she became philosophical.
We all came from the ocean? That was some philosophy, but it was also a little unsettling. Xena loved eating the cold, scaly things. But she didn't want to think she actually descended from one.
The fun and games instantly ended when the hand that emerged from the water grabbed her soulmate. A soldier. An Athenian one by the uniform. It was the lone word that terrified her.
Very few things could cause Xena to panic. But memories were triggered. The horde annihilated her army and nearly killed her. She couldn't allow that to happen to her soulmate.
Their things could be replaced, even Xena's sword. They needed to run. Now. Without argument. Hopefully Gabrielle knowing the men were the best of the best would help her to move faster and without question.
They were too fast. Xena could barely keep track of them. She made certain her soulmate was following her. Then, there was the canoe. The river wouldn't stop them, but hopefully it would slow them down.
Harder. Faster. With every ounce of strength. As they seemed to be outpacing the horde, Xena finally allowed the memories to fully be relived. And she regretfully had to share the horrors with Gabrielle so that maybe she would stop hesitating and do as she was told.
Cowards. That's how Xena had initially referred to any of her soldiers who had run. That was until she had realized just how futile it was to fight. And by the time she had returned, what she had found left of her men caused her to shudder. Even The Destroyer of Nations was nearly violently ill.
What do they want? Xena wished she knew. If she did, she could avoid more senseless killing. Most importantly, she could make certain her soulmate was unharmed.
Following the river wasn't the worst idea. The only problem was…Where were the horde? Xena was on full alert. She was scanning the banks, straining to hear any sound. The only thing she was certain of was that things were definitely going to get worse.
They were barely audible at first. Xena could no longer ignore them when Gabrielle heard them. The men along the banks. They were being tortured. They were begging for death. They were begging for Athena to have mercy upon them.
As hardened a heart as Xena had, it was difficult to say that it was not them that would help them. In her mind, they were already dead. And she wouldn't put Gabrielle in further danger than she already was.
That's when one of the soldiers escaped. He was headed for their canoe. Even though it would slow them down, Xena knew Gabrielle would help the man. It was the right thing to do, under normal circumstances.
Another difficult order. When they were close to the shore, Xena needed Gabrielle to swim for shore. She couldn't worry about her soulmate and focus fully on battling.
As they neared the shore, something unexpected happened. Xena couldn't help their temporary good luck. At least for a moment, they had help. They could gather the fallen soldier. And they had someplace they could take sanctuary.
Once they fought inside, Xena wasn't so certain it was a better place. Just one glance around and she could see the defeated stance of every single soldier. They were, each and every one of them, dead men walking.
That's what Xena had to attempt to explain to her soulmate exactly what she meant by this. These men had long ago lost hope. And she, sadly, couldn't blame them in the least.
Not one to die without a fight, Xena could feel her heart hardening. She could feel a part of herself she fought with on a daily basis warring to be unleashed. Would it find free rein before she found death?
The leader of how many armies came to life. Xena began by making certain those at the walls were standing at attention. When that didn't work, she resorted in threatening him. And when he had the nerve to ask who she was…
Xena felt the power when the young soldier lit up at the sound of her name. He'd heard of her all right. The thought of Callisto wasn't exactly pleasant, but if it sparked the men, she would relish. And asked what to do if anything moved kill them.
Gabrielle had to interject at that point. What if by chance whoever was out there was a friend? There were no friends. They were alone. And the elite of the Athenian army were going to kill'em all!
The words brought cheers from the soldiers. Xena knew it brought disgust from her soulmate. There wasn't time for niceties at the moment. She had to save lives, even if it meant taking several in the process.
Without thought, Xena began making suggestions. More than that, she began giving orders. With no one else seeming to want to be in charge and her experience with the horde, she was the best candidate for the job.
Knowing it was best to speak in private, Xena wanted a situation report, beyond that it was pretty much hopeless. Three days water, six of food and weapons dwindling. It was definitely not looking too positive.
Her first plan was shot down. The fact there would be no reinforcements changed Xena's plans very little. She wished she could have met the general in charge. She had faced him in battle once upon a time.
First thing Xena did after officially being placed in charged was morbid. She ordered the bodies of the dead placed on the south wall so there appeared to be more men manning them then there were.
The next thing Xena did was go in search for her soulmate. It had been quiet without Gabrielle at her side. It was as if her conscience was no longer niggling at her.
It wasn't surprising to find Gabrielle in the infirmary. Xena's first comment was about which were to die not how impressed she was by what her bard had achieved.
Walking wounded? If they could move, they could man the walls. Xena hastily ordered them to the wall. They, along with dead soldiers, could make it appear there were more soldiers than there were.
Feed them? Xena could see the expression upon her soulmate's face. Gabrielle was loathing her. She would loath her more when given the next order. No food or water for the seriously wounded.
Yes, it meant Xena expected her soulmate to choose who lived and died. If they were to even think about surviving, they would have to make sacrifices. Including sacrificing those that were weak and unlikely to survive otherwise.
To prove her point, the horde attacked. It was intense, but the trick Xena had already planned managed to beat them back. However, one man happened to escape who had seen the inside of the compound. She couldn't allow him to escape.
Unfortunately, Gabrielle didn't understand. The horde soldier had seen their defenses. He had to be killed. The cheers were music to Xena's ears. It was taking her back. Back to a time when killing and surviving were the only things that mattered.
While they had bloodied them up some, they would come back in full force. Xena knew they needed reinforcements. She had an idea. One she knew their cohorts wouldn't like and Gabrielle definitely wouldn't like.
As Xena made her way back to the command hut, she came across a walking soldier. If it was only his arm that hurt, he could still stand watch.
Xena also discovered that Gabrielle was not doing as she had been ordered. The food was only for the men outside, not those in the infirmary.
The warrior princess didn't have time to draw Gabrielle a picture. This wasn't glamourous. This wasn't going to end by dropping one's sword. This would end only when one side or the other was dead. She reiterated her order. The rations are reserved only for the men at the wall.
After meeting with the two remaining Athenian commanders, Xena realized her original plan of leaving wasn't in the best interest of everyone. They would have to send Mercer and hope that one man would be able to sneak past the horde.
After making certain Mercer was off safely, Xena had another project. One she hoped she wouldn't regret. It was easy enough to capture one of the horde in the confusion of the battle.
Rescue? Xena nearly wanted to laugh. Gabrielle really had no idea what was happening nor what lengths they would have to sink to save as many men as they could.
The first thing was to see if the horde soldier understood. He showed that by indicating where they were on the map. The next part of the interrogation, Xena didn't want her soulmate seeing. Repeatedly, she ordered Gabrielle outside.
As usual, Gabrielle wouldn't listen. It didn't deter Xena from using her greatest weapons. The sight of someone's life draining from their body was like nothing ever.
Even Gabrielle shouting at her to stop and that it was murder was having little to no affect. Xena could feel the darkness overtaking her to the point where there might just be no return.
Finally, the thought of Gabrielle having to choose who lived and died was enough. Xena could feel a little of the darkness subside. Instead of allowing the man to die, she released the pinch and ordered him tied up.
Even before the words of thanks were out of Gabrielle's mouth, Xena was chastising her soulmate. Never question her in front of her troops. If she had to kill him, she would.
Who was she? Xena inwardly sighed heavily. She wasn't the warrior princess Gabrielle knew and loved. She was as close to The Destroyer of Nations as she had become in such a long time that it was terrifying her. But to save her soulmate and the rest of the men, she would do nearly anything.
While Xena was making her rounds, she discovered something that made her heart nearly leap out of her throat. Gabrielle was outside of the walls.
When the attack was called for, Xena halted it. The horde wasn't attacking. Gabrielle tending to the wounded was a call for truce, apparently. Instead, she ordered her own men to retrieve their wounded.
Not able to help herself, Xena chastised her soulmate. While a truce had been called, Gabrielle was in a great deal of danger. Especially since she hadn't informed the warrior princess what she was up to.
The one horrid discovery was Mercer. He was barely alive. It meant there would be no reinforcements. And Gabrielle's parting jab about how Xena now had the battle to the death she had been looking for.
And just like that, Xena knew she had gone too far. What was the point of surviving the battle if she would lose her entire soul? Before returning to the prisoner, she ordered men to help Gabrielle and bring rations.
One thing Xena had learned was the horde was the structure of the army. Once loose, the horde soldier would not attack her. He would attempt to attack those that were seen as inferior to the leader.
Using the signals, Xena hoped the horde soldier would bring the general or leader of his tribe. Gabrielle wouldn't necessarily like it, but it was a one on one battle that could save numerous lives.
Before the battle, Xena decided to visit the infirmary. She decided to see if she could, in a way, make amends to her soulmate, before potentially dying in battle.
A single word. It had made all the difference in the world. Kaltaka. Without her bard, it never would have been discovered.
Fear. Anger. Hate. It had all blinded Xena to the other possibilities. Gabrielle's innocence would never allow her to act upon the hatred. That fact alone caused the warrior princess to love her bard more than words could say.
Even as Xena was called to face the leader of the horde, Gabrielle wanted to use words. Sadly, it couldn't be. Though in the future that lone word would hopefully find peace between the people.
The fight was unlike anything Xena had experienced. As warriors, she had to be impressed. But the lengths to which they fought and the way they destroyed their fallen enemies was something the warrior princess never could.
Mercy was granted. A yell was screamed. Xena didn't flinch. She hoped she had read the horde correctly. The axes weren't aimed for her. Instead, they took the life of the beaten leader. The horde were off to select a new leader.
No patrol, but the Athenian army would move out. It would be slow going with the number of wounded that remained. There was a part of Xena that wanted to escort the brave soldiers.
There was the other part that knew Gabrielle needed to spend time with her. Or was it the warrior princess that needed to spend time with her soulmate?
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Xena had her arm around Gabrielle's shoulders as they watched the Athenian army slowly began to march. There were, sadly, five carts full of wounded alone. Without the bard, there could very well have been more graves or funeral pyres.
"You did good." Xena squeezed Gabrielle's shoulder. She saluted Mercer one more time before turning the opposite way. For some reason, she wanted to head toward the coast again.
"You were the one who led the way." Gabrielle used her staff as a walking stick. "I just reminded you of what you've learned along the way."
Xena sighed heavily. "Gabrielle, you don't really realize how much you balance me." While they had supposedly defeated the horde, her senses were on full alert.
"Xena, we all lose our way." Gabrielle knew she had lost her focus on more than one occasion. "Remember how I reacted when Callisto killed Perdicus?"
The warrior princess shivered. It wasn't because of Gabrielle marrying the young man or even how close her bard had come to taking revenge. It was the mention of Callisto once again. "I remember."
"You said that I've never given into hate." Gabrielle glanced up at the blue sky. "That isn't entirely true. There was that time. And the time I thought I'd lost you. The poor tree has probably never recovered from the beating my staff gave it."
Xena stopped walking. She turned so that she was looking at her soulmate. Gabrielle reluctantly turned so she was looking into azure eyes.
"You gave into hate, but only to a certain point." Xena gently cupped Gabrielle's cheek. "You would never take a life. Once you do, it changes everything. The darkness can so easily overtake you."
"As long as I'm alive, I hope I never have to take a live, even if it's in defense of someone." Gabrielle leaned into the tender touch. "But if I ever do, I know you'll be there to help balance me. And to keep me grounded."
Xena didn't hesitate. "I love you, Gabrielle." She leaned down so that she could taste her soulmate's sweet lips. While she wanted to do more than taste the lips, she wanted more distance between them and the horde.
"As much as I'd love to do more than kiss, we need to keep moving." Xena kissed Gabrielle once again. "Now, why don't you help the time move faster."
Gabrielle winked. She knew how important for their safety it was to continue moving. "Did I ever tell you the tale of The Lost Mariner?"
The warrior princess chuckled. Xena allowed her soulmate's soothing voice to add balm to her soul. It would be some time before she fully healed from the things she had to do just to survive.