Here we are. Back in the present. (Finally.) This installment's a bit experimental. I hope it doesn't confuse too terribly. Feedback here would be especially useful.
Happy reading!
ps. Try breathing when the wraith breathes.
(You can breathe other times too. Don't pass out.)
Disclaimer: I still don't own Stargate Atlantis, Steve, and/or any other SGA character. This story is for entertainment purposes only, and is strictly not-for-profit. The only things I own are: Dr. Mira Sheckle, The Glove, the plot, and other OC/plot-related bits.
Chapter Seven: Hiiissssssss.
(translation: So be it…)
Present
Silence.
No footsteps. No knock of coat panels. No angry hissing or ivory rain patter.
No motion. Save the silent rise and fall of a black-clad chest…
Breathe in… Rise…
Breathe out… Fall…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
The universe was shifting…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
…
The wraith lay on his sleeping pallet, graceful, black-dressed limbs sprawled. One knee protruded from his coat, crooked with limp negligence. His feeding hand dangled, translucent claws almost touching the nearby, glittering shoulder. No effort expended, so far, to shift wrist or elbow to less awkward angles… Long, white strands fanned around the wraith's head, spilled across the organic mattress, tangled in his stiff, black collar. An ivory echo of the befuddled motion that'd brought him there.
A befuddled motion caused because…
…
The universe had shifted…
…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
The wraith's personal quarters lay still and quiet, like their owner, insulated by the hive's thick, orange-veined organic walls. Beyond them life continued. Work continued. Thought continued. Wraith continued. The universe continued…
…Without shifting…
His brothers were oblivious. Lesser. Higher…
His queen was oblivious. Now. Forever…
…She'd never noticed…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
That his universe had shifted…
…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
…
…She'd never noticed…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
That it never quite shifted back…
…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
…
…And she'd never notice…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
…That it was happening again…
…
…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
…Not if he could help it…
…
…
The wraith lay where he'd thrown himself. Green eyes slitted, unblinking. Oval pupils stared, unseeing, at orange veins crawling across the iridescent, chitin ceiling. The telepathic network of the hive stretched out, dancing within his mind like a three dimensional, interactive graphics display. Movements. Action. Reaction… All visible with ease… And deeper… Emotion. Conversation. Intention… The essence of being wraith… Then, yet deeper… Private. Confidential…
The wraith turned away from these things. Things He Should Not See…
He turned instead to the Minds Turned Inward… Felt the warmth of Meditation. The peace of Content. The flickering luminosity of Diversion…
…The bright pleasure of Feed…
…The fire of Hunger…
A soft hiss disturbed the silence, elicited by a flare of physical empathy. He thrust the Hungering Ones aside and continued, carefully avoiding those brothers occupied with similar distasteful emotions…
The ripple of Amusement. A twinkle of Surprise. The delightful pulse of brothers bound together in Curiosity…
And beyond… The dark glow of Sleep…
…The iridescent chill of Dream…
Shivering, the wraith retreated, troubled by the bone-numbing chill he shouldn't have been able to see. Much less touch… Or feel…
His universe was shifting…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
He withdrew to the upper layers. Watching. Listening. Focusing on everything and nothing… The minds of his brothers glowed, connected by an intricate web of ever-changing thought and attention. Separate, yet together. Thousands creating a single, complex entity. A network of intelligence, infinitely delicate, yet a hundred times stronger than any wraith could hope to be alone…
…alone…
…
The wraith watched, viewing the ephemeral fabric of life with a clarity he'd never experienced. A clarity that was growing with every breath… A clarity illuminated by the blazing light of a single mind… The burning light of a Queen… His Queen…
The wraith's Queen…
…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
The web of his brothers pulsed in his mind, illuminated by it's blazing, female light. It's beautiful light. It's searing light. A compelling, instinctively magnetic light.
A deadly light…
A light that must never know he touched Dream. Or saw Sleep.
A light that looked on him and saw…
…only Rest.
…
That saw…
…
…impossibly…
…
…Only what the wraith wanted it to see…
…
A light that had seen only what he'd wanted it to see for a long time…
…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
…Clarity…
…Light…
…
…Separate…
…
His universe was shifting…
…Shifting…
…
SHIFTING!
With a gasp, he withdrew from the telepathic network, heart racing and body trembling. Reality shuddered. The wraith shuddered with it. Mentally. Physically. The green eyes flew open, then quickly squeezed shut as the room failed to materialize completely. Sanity fluttered. Panic threatened. FEAR!!
BREATHE!!!
Chest heaving, the wraith forced himself to relax. He thrust the fear down, violently walling it away, detaching himself from it. It fluttered as he constructed a mental compartment and trapped it within. His feeding hand twitched, lurching from its awkward suspension to brush the black leather covering his stomach. Fingers dropped, resting limply as he willed the frenzied hitching to fade from his diaphragm.
…Rise…
…Fall…
The wraith stilled, forcing the tremors in his breath to smooth…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…In…
…Out…
…
…In…
…Out…
…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
Fear surged. Raged. Writhed… The wraith remained relaxed… Separate… The paralyzing emotion safely trapped… Isolated from rational thought… Like unwanted, unhelpful emotions should be…
…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
Fear fluttered, and the wraith observed… The feeling was… Unsettling. Unfamiliar… His attention swept to another mental cage. The first he'd created… Within, panic swelled. Flailed. The urge to escape ebbed and surged. Flaring unpredictably… A disconcerted hiss filled the room. Fear was almost as alien to the wraith as these other intrusive, overwhelming feelings…
…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
…
…Rise…
SHIFTING!
Reality shuddered.
BREATHE!!!
…Fall…
The wraith breathed, deliberately keeping muscles relaxed, bracing for the ensuing sensory onslaught as… The universe shifted…
Chaos. Turmoil. Anarchy.
…Rise…
…Fall…
The fear fluttered in its cage, but the wraith ignored it. Focused entirely on maintaining emotional detachment. Sanity depended— SHIFTING!
—on his ability to dissociate…
…Rise…
…Fall…
Feelings. Sensations. Myriad and disparate. A tangled maze of mind-shattering incomprehensibility. A maze designed to be navigated on instinct. But instinct…
…was shifting.
…with the universe…
SHIFTING!
He couldn't navigate!
BREATHE!!! STAY APART!
The wraith retreated inwards, wrapping consciousness in the familiarity of meditation, protecting the essence of what made him 'him.'
…Rise…
…Fall…
Weather the mental storm!
Inexorable as a black hole, the psychic quake rattled the foundations of his psyche. Shaking. Weakening.
…Crumbling.
…Rise…
…Fall…
The wraith lay motionless, insulated within a cocoon of forced serenity. Watching as the structure of his mind shuddered. Collapsed… Then… Slowly. Minutely… Began reordering… Rebuilding… Restoring.
Only…
…Not quite the same patterns… Thought slid past thought. Impulse twisted, bent. Redirected… Priority skewed and realigned. Shifted… Priority!… Everything was Priority. The foundation— SHIFTING!
—was Priority! An explosive hiss as instinct surged. Resurfaced. Emotion. Feelings. Myriad and disparate. Senses clamoring. Understanding. Reality skimmed consciousness, flashed across perception. Existence within the maze was clear. Illuminated. …by instinct. Priority! Navigation was possible—
Clarity flickered. Vanished. Then…
…Reappeared. Only… Different… Not the same…
Flicker.
A different maze…? Different paths…?
Vanish.
All gone. Lost! NO!!
SHIFTING!
BREATHE!! DON'T THINK!
…In…
…Out…
…In…
…Out…
…Rise…
…Fall…
…
…Rise…
Acknowledge frustration. Set it aside…
…Fall…
…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
Now… Accept the incomprehensible maze…
…Rise…
Crumbling and reforming…
…Fall…
…Rise…
Shifting and altering… With priority…
…Fall…
Like priority…
…Rise…
It will, eventually…
…Fall…
…
…Settle…
…
Illumination will return. …Eventually.
…With patience…
And calm…
…
…Instinct will illuminate…
Clarity…
Don't fight it…
…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
…
Don't Push. Don't rush.
…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
…
…Wraith are patient…
…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
…
…
…Exist…
…
…Survive…
…
…
…Everything else…
…
…Follows…
…
…
…Rise…
…
…Fall…
…
…
…In…
…
…Out…
…
…
…Just breathe…
…
The universe shifted.
The wraith let it. His pale brow furrowed delicately, and sensitive lips twitched, reacting to the renewal of inner turmoil… He inhaled deeply, then exhaled softly. Felt the neuro-chemical shift continue restructuring his mind… Felt the gradual remolding of desires. Felt… The inexorable reordering of instinctual Priorities… Felt…
And deliberately chose… Not to fight it… Embraced it…
Tension evaporated. The wraith sank into the organic cushion of his sleeping pallet, finally, gratefully, and entirely relaxed. His face gently rolled to one side.
The universe shifted…
He shifted with it.
There was no use, raging against the inevitable…