The biggest betrayal. And what it led to. I don't even know what to write. Because of me both our children died. Only mine came back to haunt us.
Already I feel the tears. I really don't know if I can write this. Xena is beside herself as well. While she's forgiven me, it's still a difficult to travel down this road.
So what do either of us say? Trust was just being rebuilt when I once again betrayed the woman I love. How she could forgive me either of those times I'll never understand.
This is Xena. It's because we are soulmates. Otherwise I may never have forgiven. And Gabrielle is correct. I am having difficulty going down this road. But it's worse watching as my soulmate travels down this road to relate it for you.
MATERNAL INSTINCT
Things were so different. What a difference a year made. Gabrielle noticed how nervous Xena was. It wasn't even how her soulmate new the exact time it had been since she had seen her son.
It was time for Gabrielle to reassure her that everything would be all right. And she wasn't talking about the treaty Kaleipus had helped arranged either.
That's when Xena used her instincts and caught a very grownup Solon. He definitely had been practicing and definitely was looking more and more like his mother.
Gabrielle was charmed at how excited he was to see her too. He had a staff like hers. Perhaps they could spar a little before the visit was over. Or not depending on what Xena had to say about it.
Kaleipus arrived saying how he had learned a lot. Gabrielle watched the expression of hidden pain upon her soulmate's face as she said he had a good teacher.
After Kaliepus thanked them for coming, Gabrielle thanked him. It was always an honor to be a part of a ceremony reuniting the Centaur nations.
Gabrielle was a little nervous about having the children there, yet it did show a good sign of faith. It would help in leaving a legacy of hope and peace behind.
It was time to allow Xena and Kaliepus to have their chat. Gabrielle could think of one way to do it. She challenged Solon to a race to the village. He wouldn't catch her now.
Once in the village, Gabrielle found Xena and her quarters for the duration of the treaty celebration. She was surprised by Ephiny and Xenon. Right away, the Amazon regent could tell there was something wrong with her friend and sent the children to play.
The bard started the tale by saying she couldn't believe it hadn't been that long since Britannia though it felt like a lifetime. She continued by saying she got into a bad situation.
Gabrielle related how she had a child. How she named her Hope for that's what she was for her. How the child made everything she went through worth it. But that she had died. Ephiny attempted to comfort her saying she shouldn't blame herself that we don't know what The Fates have in store.
It was time for Ephiny to leave. She kept asking Gabrielle if she'd be all right. The bard had to say yes and promise that she would get some rest. The Amazon regent had to get moving or she'd be late for the meeting.
But not before Gabrielle asked about the toy Xenon had. Lucas. It was by Senticles not unlike the lamb that Xena gave her for Solstice. The same lamb the bard gave to Hope.
The moment Ephiny was gone, Gabrielle called out. She knew someone was in the room with her. What she wasn't ready for was a child to come out.
Monster lady said there was a message that had to be given to Xena? Gabrielle was more than concerned. She was disturbed. As it turned out, there was reason to be all those things and more. Callisto.
Just the thought of Callisto had Gabrielle inwardly shaking. How had the goddess escaped from her lava trap and Velasca remained trapped?
By the gods Callisto knew about Solon. That meant Xena's son was in grave danger. Gabrielle would protect the boy with her life.
It was eerie to watch how calm, cool and collect her soulmate was. Gabrielle wasn't so certain if it was Hope that was in danger if she could be so levelheaded.
Ixion caves. Solon should be safe there. What about the young girl that had told them the message? Didn't she need protecting as well? But she had disappeared.
Gabrielle was on her own once again. Only not for long. Fayla had returned and this time with what looked like the turtle that Xena had given to the bard for Solstice.
The bard was nearly crushed when she heard the tale. All Fayla remembered was water, crying and calling out for a mother that never came.
Before Gabrielle could respond, Ephiny arrived telling her that Xena said to hurry. And asked if something was wrong. No, nothing was wrong at all.
Timing was everything. Gabrielle had to help with Callisto otherwise she would speak more to her daughter for that's who Fayla was. The bard practically begged her to remain and told her she would soon find out why she cared so.
Squatting down so she appeared even shorter, Gabrielle moved along with Xena. When her soulmate stopped, she knew it was because Callisto was nearby.
The banter proved that the hatred between Callisto and Xena was alive and well. Gabrielle wanted to stand up for her soulmate but knew they had to keep the charade going as long as possible to keep Solon safe as long as possible.
Gabrielle ran like a terrified young boy would. When Callisto's face was revealed to her, she was terrified. Yet, she wouldn't allow herself to reveal it.
The bard didn't understand. Callisto couldn't be in two places at once. Xena thought there was an accomplice somewhere.
That's when they came across Kaleipus. He was dying. Gabrielle wondered who could have done this. He whispered something but she didn't think even Xena could hear.
Before they could get him help, Kaleipus died. Before he did, he asked that Xena raise Solon. Gabrielle knew it's what Xena wanted, yet didn't want. What did the bard want especially with Hope out there?
While Xena went to tell Solon, Gabrielle went in search of who she was certain was her daughter. Why had Fayla left? Someone had called her evil. Callisto? Because she could move things with her mind? The bard was emphatic when she told her daughter never to believe it.
But her mother had attempted to drown her? No! Gabrielle finally had to break down and tell Fayla that she was her mother. That she loved her.
Gabrielle told Hope how she prayed to the gods to protect her. And for once they did! And they brought her home. They couldn't leave though. Not if Callisto was out for the children.
They had to tell Xena. The warrior princess was the only one who could even remotely fight Callisto. Besides, Xena didn't hate Hope. They would show her how Hope could fight her dark side like Xena did.
Hope remained scared. Gabrielle understood just how terrifying Callisto could be. The bard would take her to the safest place there was.
Once dropping off Hope with Solon, Gabrielle found Ephiny to warn her. They needed to get the children to safety. The Amazon suggested the caverns.
Xena wasn't certain they could trust the child. She could be a pawn of Callisto's or worse. Gabrielle couldn't help herself. She had to defend her daughter. Which unfortunately led to the warrior princess knowing Fayla was Hope.
Instantly, Xena began talking of poisoning Hope. That maybe she wasn't strong enough as a partial goddess. Gabrielle was beside herself. This was her child they were talking about.
Hope wasn't merely evil. She wasn't just a vessel. If she was, would Gabrielle have sent her to Kaleipus' hut where Solon was hiding?
Both warrior princess and bard ran as fast as they could. Xena got there just a little before Gabrielle. It was too late. All Gabrielle could do was chant 'no, no, no' over and over again.
Xena telling her to get out, not once but twice hurt to the very soul. But not because her soulmate was telling her to go. But because she was the reason Xena was now hurting and Solon was gone. It was all Gabrielle's fault.
Alone once again, Gabrielle was surprised when Hope entered her hut. Supposedly she ran when the dead boy was there already. It gave a moment of hope for the bard.
That was until Hope said she didn't want to die like Solon. Then Gabrielle knew. It wasn't Callisto who had killed Xena's son. It was her own daughter who had done the heinous deed.
It took a bit to make the mixture. It took even more for Gabrielle to get Hope to drink the mixture. There was some left. Nearly, nearly she drank it herself. But she couldn't. Not as long as Xena was alive. Even if she hated her with a passion.
Gabrielle knew that if she had done as she had been asked that long ago time in Britannia, Kaleipus and Solon would still be alive.
An emotional bitch slap as Xena doesn't even allow Gabrielle to say Solon's name. Not that the bard could blame her.
Lies. So many lies. Gabrielle had gotten good at lies. There was Chin. There was Britannia. The ones in Chin nearly cost Xena her life. The ones in Britannia did cost Kaleipus and Solon their lives.
And now those lies were costing Gabrielle the one thing that she could not live without. Her soulmate walking away without even looking at her. "I love you Xena."
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Back to where her son was. Xena knew it was exactly one year, two months and twelve days, but who was counting? Gabrielle was more confident than the warrior princess was about how things would go.
Just before he could jump on her, Xena sensed someone. It just happened to be her son. Wow had Solon grown into a fine young man.
A staff? That was something Xena could live with. It did sound like he'd been busy while they were gone. He had to be for as long as it had been.
Kaleipus saying he'd learned a great deal seemed an understatement already to Xena. And the fact the boy had a good teacher was obvious as well.
The treaty was extremely important. And the fact all delegates brought their children was a plus but also quite risky. Xena made a mental note to check security.
It was great how Gabrielle just knew that Kaleipus and Xena needed a moment to talk. It would always be this way until Solon was a grown man.
Xena made certain Kaleipus knew that she was only there to make certain things were safer for Solon. And thanks to Kaleipus it was looking that way.
As they were doing the rounds, they came across a nasty sight. Xena could almost sense who had butchered the men and hung them like that. But she was trapped for good.
When Xena got back to the village, Gabrielle had a story to tell. A young girl had a message for her. It was from Callisto. That she knew about her secret and would take it to the grave.
Solon. Callisto knew about the relationship. The number one issue now was to protect her son. Xena could think of was the Ixion caves. That should be safe. When Gabrielle wanted to send the young girl, she was gone.
Convincing Solon that hiding was the right thing to do was another thing. While he was right that none of the other children had to hide, he wasn't an ordinary child.
It all came down to this. The speech that Xena gave was actually how she was feeling, as well as Kaleipus. A parent was worried about their child when possibly in danger. Were they scared? Maybe. But they loved that child more than anything.
Xena finally convinced Solon to do it as a favor to her. It was one of those owe you big favors that the warrior princess hoped to owe for a long time.
It was time to face down Callisto. Xena realized she was her usual cryptic talk. She was never quite forthright. Except in battle. Then she would stab you in the heart if she could.
Threatening a god really was useless, yet Xena would figure out how to harm Callisto in one way or another. She would find a way to end her if she harmed Solon.
One thing Xena learned from the encounter. Callisto wasn't working alone. Someone was helping her. It had to be as even a god couldn't be in two places at once.
Which meant Callisto couldn't have been the one to kill Kaleipus. Neither Xena nor Gabrielle could make out who the Centaur had been killed by.
Telling Solon was one of the most difficult things in the world for Xena. She started by telling him Kaleipus was one of the finest men she'd ever known.
Just like his mom and dad. Why did all the people around him die? Was it him? Xena's heart broke for her son. It wasn't him.
Xena almost slipped and said how much she loved him. But there were many friends that wanted him. Though in her heart the warrior princess wanted her son with her.
Then there was the kicker. Solon wanted to be with Xena. That Kaleipus said that if anything happened to him that she'd be there for Solon.
They were friends. That much was true. Xena would admit to that much. And friends were like family. There was so much the warrior princess had to tell Solon. But they could do it on the road. So she told him to make certain he was packed and ready to go when everything was over.
Xena listened as Gabrielle informed them of what the child informed her of. The children were the target. Callisto was coming in from the south.
While it was good knowing this, how did they know the girl wasn't just a pawn. Or worse? How did they not know if the girl was in on it?
That's when Gabrielle saying how Xena always blamed the girl. That she wasn't evil. In the beat of a heart, the warrior princess became terrified. There was something even more evil than Callisto and that was Hope.
Perhaps the child was still young enough that poison would work on her. Xena had to try something because the child was too evil to allow to exist. It didn't matter that she was Gabrielle's child.
Xena's blood ran cold when Gabrielle said that she had sent Hope to Kaleipus' hut for safety. That's where she had left Solon.
Never having run faster in her life, Xena ran to Kaleipus' hut. But it was too late. She had to tell Gabrielle twice to get out. There was no more bard and warrior princess.
The primal scream was partly for the death of the relationship. But mostly, it was because Xena lost her son. And without ever being able to tell him he was her son.
Xena didn't care if they needed her. She didn't care if Callisto was coming. She didn't care how many times Ephiny tried. It wasn't until Xenon reminded her that there were other children at stake.
The warrior's heart was only half into the fight. Xena keeps attempting to think of the children and revenging Solon. One day she would get her revenge on Callisto for her many sins.
The fact that killing her son didn't make it any better only infuriates Xena. The only thing she can do is trap Callisto for now. Until the day she can kill her for good that will have to be enough.
There was a difference between Callisto and Xena. The warrior princess would learn to live with her pain. Callisto allowed hers to kill her long ago.
A little while later, Xena looks for Hope. If Gabrielle won't take matters into her own hands, the warrior princess will do it for her.
For a moment, it appears Gabrielle was to take what's left of the poison. Xena's hand, though she has much hatred for the bard, goes for her chakram. There's no need as Gabrielle pours out the mixture.
Lies and betrayals. Gabrielle has done too many for Xena to forgive. As she mourns her son's death, she also mourns what she had with her soulmate. That's why it cuts so deep. They are linked for eternity.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Ephiny brought Gabrielle to the queen's hut. She hadn't said a word. Not since she'd told Xena she had loved her as they parted. Would it be for the final time?
Gabrielle didn't know where she would go. There were the Amazons. They would take care of her. She was their queen after all.
But did she deserve to be taken care of? Gabrielle wasn't so certain. Because of her two children were dead. One at her own hand. Her own child at her own hand.
And Gabrielle was vomiting again. Every time she thought about what she did and what happened because she didn't the first time…
Her voice would not come, nor would her screams. Emotionally she could not even think of functioning. She wasn't certain what she would do. Perhaps the Amazons had a ritual that would help her?
All Gabrielle knew was she was lost. Without her soulmate there to help her through. She was never getting Xena back. Of that, there was no doubt…
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Xena needed to get away. Far away. There wasn't a distance too far. Up in the mountains perhaps. For now, it meant hard riding and little stopping.
Solon was gone. The truth had burned up with him. Unless some kind of miracle, her son would never get to know that he was indeed her son.
Once again a feral scream echoed throughout the night. No matter how many times Xena screamed it wasn't enough for her to exercise the pain from her soul.
It wasn't just Solon. It was Gabrielle. How many ways had the bard betrayed her? How many ways had the bard lied to her? It had all led to Solon's death.
Just when Xena thought she had found the one person who would never lie to her. Just when she thought she had found the one that would never betray her.
And it all came with the ultimate price. Xena wanted vengeance. She wanted to hurt someone. Could she bring herself to harm the bard?