TW: attempted suicide

Varian ran his fingers through his hair. It was the first time he had been able to do that in a while. Every time he tried, his fingers always got stuck in the tangled mop. But now it was clean. Clean and brushed. It felt like a luxury he shouldn't have.

Now that it was clean, he probably needed to go get a haircut. It was well past his shoulders now. That wouldn't be too practical for working in a lab.

Working in a lab… Why did I agree to that?

He sighed loudly, sitting down on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. His new room had a large bed and several comfortable chairs, but he couldn't bear to sit on any of them. It didn't feel right.

None of it did.

I shouldn't have agreed to help her… I shouldn't be here in this room… I don't deserve it. I don't deserve the bath I just had. Or my clean hair. I don't deserve any of this!

Do I even deserve to be alive?

He thought back to his time in prison, the hours upon hours of torture. The prison guards all seemed to believe he didn't. Maybe they were right.

I'm just a traitor… I attacked the royal family… I deserve to die for my crimes…

Who would care if he died anyway? The citizens of Corona surely wouldn't. The royal family wouldn't. And everyone else was dead. He was alone in the world. Surely no one would mind.

At least… At least I've chosen myself when to go… At least it's me instead of one of the guards…

He looked up. Sitting on a shelf was a razor blade. It wasn't what he would have chosen, but it would work. With shaking hands, he grabbed the small blade, quickly taking it apart to reveal the flimsy metal that had once been sandwiched between the wooden handle. It would work.

He put the blade on his wrist, fumbling around to find his artery. The best he could remember, the artery closest to the skin was there. Surely that would do the trick.

Caine…

He paused. She would probably miss him. If anyone would, it would be her. She would be sad if he was gone… but for all she knew, he was dead, seeing how he was taken from the prison and never went back.

It would be better for her anyway. At least then she wouldn't feel the need to give up her already small portion of food to him.

He brought the blade down into his wrist, making a minimal sound. He didn't want to scream, that would alert the guards outside his door. Plus, it couldn't be worse than the pain he felt in prison.

Slowly, his blood began to well up and stream out of the cut. It wasn't the most optimal way to go, but it was what he could manage. In maybe thirty minutes he'd at least pass out. Faster if he worked on the cut until then.

I'm coming to join you Dad…

4.1 Eugene

"Whoa! Pete, Stan, didn't expect to see you two here!" Eugene grinned at the two soldiers standing guard outside of the door. He hadn't realized that soldiers had been assigned in front of Varian's room.

It made sense, seeing how he had just been pulled from prison no more than four hours ago, but still, he hadn't expected guards to be there.

"Well, we can't have the boy escaping to commit more treason. Especially with all these Saporian scum around," said Pete, the two soldiers stepping aside to let him pass.

Eugene made a face. He had forgotten there had been an influx in Saporian civilians being caught. It seemed they were all rising from the sewers, and that made him anxious. It made sense why Varian was under room arrest. He had launched a full-scale attack against the kingdom once- and that was when he was fourteen! Combining him with the angry Saporians would only be a recipe for disaster.

"That makes sense. Well, keep up the good work boys." He walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He didn't know why he felt so nervous. Varian wasn't in a good enough state to hurt him, the poor boy couldn't even stand up on his own! He had to be carried to his new room! But there was still a dread welling up in his heart.

Why? He didn't know.

Eugene looked around the room, surprised to find everything untouched. The bed didn't have a wrinkle or crease and the pillows scattered around the room were still fluffed and in place. Had he not personally sat Varian down on the bench at the foot of the bed? So where was the boy?

The only other place was the…

Oh! He's probably taking a bath! Makes sense. He stank.

He knocked on the shut wooden door. It seemed too quiet for someone who was simply having a bath, but it wasn't like Varian had been a chatterbox earlier. "Varian? Are you in there?"

He waited. There was no response.

Is he deaf or something?

"Varian?" He knocked again. But there was still no response. "Well then, I really hope you're clothed because I'm coming in!" With that, he opened the door, surprised to find how dark it was in the room. "Sheesh, kid, turn on the lights!" He pulled out a match from his pocket, lighting the lantern next to the door. "Stupid old part of the castle that doesn't have electricity!"

Within seconds, the room flooded with light, revealing a limp Varian lying in a pool of blood.

"Varian!" Eugene ran over, dropping to his knees by his side. "Varian, can you hear me?!"

It didn't make sense. What could have happened to him? Surely the kid wouldn't have just dropped dead, and no one had come to assassinate him, so why was he on the floor?

His pulse! Right!

Eugene reached for the boy's wrist but stopped above it in horror. There on the inside of his wrist was the source of the bleeding, a large gash. In his other hand was a bloody razor blade.

Oh my… he... He tried to…

"PETE! STAN! BANDAGES! DOCTOR! SOMEONE! HELP!" He yelled, frantically tearing off a part of his shirt, pushing it against the wound with all the force he could.

Why would he do this? He just agreed to help us! He's a smart kid! Why would he attempt…?

Varian looked so pathetic lying on the floor. Somehow- despite four years worth of grime being gone- he seemed to look worse for wear than when they pulled him out of prison.

"PETE! STAN! SOMEONE!"

But what was most disturbing about the whole thing was the look of peace the young boy was wearing. It wasn't the look of the bright-eyed boy he'd known before- there wasn't even a glare like the last time Eugene had seen him.

It looked like he had been more than ready to go.

What happened to him? I don't understand why he's like this… Surely four years in prison couldn't have done this much to him! Yes, he should be a little sad from being there, but suicidal? No!

Eugene closed his eyes, remembering the events of four years ago. Varian had been so young, yet so angry and scared. It had reminded him of his own childhood when he himself had stolen and fought just to survive. But then he met Rapunzel and his life turned around. So how was it that he had watched the poor alchemist who had things better than he ever had slowly broken down? Even to the point of… It made no sense!

"Wha-what happened?!" Stammered Pete, he and Stan standing at the door, mouths agape.

Eugene looked up from Varian long enough to glare at them. Were they stupid? They had to be. Any competent guard wouldn't stand still in a situation like this. "WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?!" He yelled. "GO GET HELP!"

The two guards stood still for a few moments longer before they ran off wordlessly. After what seemed like an eternity, they returned with the doctor, Rapunzel, Cassandra, and King Frederic.

"Oh my gosh! What happened?" Rapunzel's hands flew up to her mouth and she looked away sorrowfully.

The doctor dropped down on the ground next to Eugene and scooped up the boy. He nodded approvingly at the temporary bandage that he had applied. "I'll take it from here. You did well." He walked out with the boy, leaving Eugene to explain what happened to a very worried Rapunzel.

"He… He tried to kill himself." He grabbed the bloodied blade and held it up for all to see. "I do-don't- I don't understand-" He was surprised at his choke. Had he not sat idly by when the boy had been sentenced to life in prison? Why did he care at all whether or not Varian lived or died?

"Eugene. It's alright. Stand up," Rapunzel commanded. He did as she asked and stood up, closing his trembling hand around the small blade. She brushed her hand across his cheek and looked up at him so very tenderly. "He'll be alright. No friends of the palace die."

It was true. He took comfort in the thought. The sundrop provided a magical cure that could remedy any hurt, so there was no danger of Varian's death, yet… yet he still felt an awful dread in his heart. He couldn't explain it.

"I know, Blondie, but I just…"

"I think I understand." Rapunzel placed her hand over his clenched one. Ever so gently, she slowly pried open his fingers. "You feel connected to Varian, because of your childhood." She took the blade from his fingers. "I understand. I truly do. But you mustn't feel like it is somehow your fault. This is the path that he chose. But, you and I, we, can make a difference in his life. We can fix him. And we will. You and I will give him a new dream. Together." She kissed him softly and his worries seemed to melt away.

Yes. Rapunzel had been his new dream. And together, they would be Varian's new dream. And they all would live happily ever after.