Chapter 2: Upcoming Catastrophe
(Narrator POV, Galactic Patrol HQ)
"Emergency! Emergency! Planet Eater Moro is freed!" said Jaco.
"This is bad! Quickly and headed to the earth. We need Great Supreme Kai's ability to capture him from Majin Buu there!" said Merus.
After that, the Galactic Patrol Squad are heading to the 'earth'.
(North Neutral Universe Section Planet Namek)
"What's the meaning of this?!" said Saonel.
"The Dragon Balls are gone?!" said Pirina.
"There's no trace of them whatsoever." said Namekian A.
"But comes to think of it, before the Dragon Ball disappearance occurred, I felt a huge amount of evil ki for a second but then it's all disappeared as if it's just a mere hallucination." said Namekian B.
"Huge amount of evil ki, you say? That's definitely not a mere hallucination you could encounter everyday! My god! Of all the timing, the Dragon Balls are stolen at the worst timing!" said Elder Namekian.
Elder Namekian: A Namekian who is the creator of Former Universe 6's Namekian Dragon Balls.
"What do you mean by that?" asked Saonel.
"After Dragon Balls granted that savior earthling's wish, they've reach their usage limit. Do you know what does that mean?" asked Elder Namekian.
"Don't tell me…" said Pirina.
"Yes. If Dragon Balls are activated this time, instead of Eternal Dragon will be summoned, the Shadow Dragons will be resurrected." replied Elder Namekian.
"Shadow Dragons. According to the legend of the (Universe 6's) Namekian, The ancient greedy Namekian has stolen Dragon Balls from others so that his greedy wish would be fulfilled but what he summoned is the unknown dark dragon that instantly killed him and separated into seven life eater dragons who rampaged throughout the galaxy to satisfying their hunger for life but were all destroyed by the former God of Destruction. So, in order to prevent the same tragedy from happening again, the next generations of Dragon Ball creators are taught to link their with the evil counterpart of eternal dragon as well. Isn't it better to report this to Lord Champa or any other Gods of Destruction while we have a chance?" said Saonel.
"Unfortunately that I've already tried to contact them but all of the Gods of destruction were already be summoned to the Zeno's palace for unknown reasons. If there's no other way around then I must giving up life for the universe's sake." said Elder Namekian.
"However, if the Dragon Balls burglar isn't Namekian then they wouldn't be able to summon the Eternal Dragon since they needed Namekian language after all." said Namekian A.
"Oh, is that so?" said Namekian B smirkingly as he captured Elder Namekian and held him as a hostage.
"Hey, what are you doing?!" said Saonel.
"You…!" groaned Elder Namekian.
"I afraid I can't let you die on me." said Namekian B.
After saying that, Namekian B's appearance suddenly changed into that of a tall horned demon with three red eyes. His body is a variety of colors: his skin being pink, his hips, chest, and shoulders being black, his scale-esque areas being blue, and his armored areas being dark pink.
"This… This is the ki I sensed back then." said Namekian A.
"So you're the Dragon Ball burglar." said Pirina.
"What is your objective, you monster?" asked Elder Namekian.
"That's a long story so I'll recommend you guys obediently stay there and listen." said the monster as he locked Namekians around him using glass manipulation ability.
"I can't move." said Pirina.
"You see. The certain demon brat captured me and locked me in the Planet for his asinine experiment. Even though I'm totally not like the idea of being captured but he introduced me Dragon Balls. To think that I actually have my hand on the real thing really determine me to collect them. My wish of obtaining the immortality is going to be realized. However, when I'm about to state my wish, a lousy pig takes a step ahead and wish the Dragon to free everyone instead. My dream is being dashed in an exchange of freedom so I wandered around and absorb the owner of this glass manipulation ability until I was sucked into the wormhole which I assumed is that demon brat's doing again. Thanks to that I appeared on your neighborhood planet and that's mean I'm somehow granted the chance to claim eternal youth again. While hiding my ki, I secretly stole all of you guys' Dragon Balls. But it is just as you guy said, someone who doesn't know about the Namekian language wouldn't be able to activate Dragon Balls. So I used my ability to capture one of you guys like how it is applied to the current of you lots so that I could disguise myself as him to ask you guy how to activate them." said the monster.
"Damn it. If we're paying more attention to the ki we should've realized that you're not the real one. What a cunning monster." said Saonel.
"Please call me Ozotto. Oh right. It seemed luck came to me that you guys give me a lot of information I need earlier including how Dragon Balls and this elder's life linked each other." said the monster.
"Wait. Doesn't that mean you're already heard that your wish will never be granted from earlier?" said Namekian A.
"Of course I heard them pretty clear and that makes me frown for a moment. However, I have a better plan. You see, I can absorb others to gain their power and ability. Do you know what does that mean?" said Ozotto.
"I see. Once you've absorbed me you'll gain the ability to create your own set of Dragon Balls to fulfill your wish. How wicked you can be!" said Elder Namekian.
"Brilliant. However, that's not all of it. Those Shadow Dragons you're talking about, they must be very powerful, right? So once all of my wishes are granted, I'll summon them and absorb them all too. Just thinking about that really makes me thrilled. And by holding this old-timer hostage through absorption, the Shadow Dragons wouldn't try to harm me, easy right?" said Ozotto.
"You bastard." said Pirina.
"As a thank for your insults, I will let you guys witness the first step of my dream with your eyes." said Ozotto as he immediately absorbed Elder Namekian in front of everyone.
"No. Elder." said Namekian A.
"Thank you very much for this splendid present. Although I should thank that demon brat but I still not want to be the part of his asinine experiment so I should better go before that brat comes and captures me again. With that being said, farewell!" said Ozotto as he left to where he hid Dragon Balls.
(Worst Universe East Section, Former Universe 3)
*Boom*
"What's that sound?" said Katopesla.
"T-The main Universal Transportation Device is overheated and now out of control." answered security A.
"W-What?! Then what about cooling systems? Are they broken as well? When?" asked Katopesla.
"Uh Sir Katopesla. To tell you the truth, we're just happened to forget to activate them." replied security B.
"Are you freaking kidding me?! Hurry up and contact immediately! If the main system is out of control, many wormholes will be created and it will be a huge problematic afterward." said Katopesla.
"Huge Problematic?" asked security A.
"People from various timeline will be able to freely cross here and that will affect the history itself. If Omni-king find out about that we will might get erased for real this time. Now you know so hurry up!" said Katopesla.
"Y-Yes." replied both securities as they dashed off to contact .
"Uh? Ah? Why didn't I go to myself when I'm clearly way much faster than those two?" groaned Katopesla.
"Because you're an idiot." said unknown person whose figure is black but with white tentacles hair.
"Who are y—Ack?!" said Katopesla but gets knocked out on the middle sentence.
"I really have to thanks you guys' irresponsibility that I'm here. Now I have to continue pursuing my justice while I'm not being interfered by Supreme Kai of Time and her lackeys." said the guy who knocked out Katopesla.
"Who are you? What are you doing to Katopesla? Wha—?" said The Preecho.
The unknown person quickly rushed in and grabbed The Preecho's neck.
"I'm Sealas and yes I'm the one who knocked out that guy. Now be obedient and tell me who's the strongest person in this universe. I wish to absorb that person." said the unknown person.
(Narrator POV ended)
(Hikigaya Hachiman POV)
"IS THIS DESTINY, HACHIMAN?! WE MEET AGAIN!" said Zaimokuza.
Can you shut the hell up?
"Hikigaya-kun. It seemed like you know him so how about you do us a favor and discipline him?" said Yukinoshita.
How about you do me a favor and cut your sharp tongue?
"That's harsh way to say 'handle him', Yukinon." said Yuigahama.
Unnecessary rebuttal is unnecessary.
"So you're coming here to have Service Club help out with your light novel drafts again?" I asked.
"Again? Hachiman, you know that I've been here not just once. As expected from my bodhisattva!" said Zaimokuza.
Oops. Me and my big bad mouth.
"Scary! How did you know that even though you're just barely joined the club? Hikki's gross. Gross." said Yuigahama.
Shut up, you bitch!
"Regrettably that I couldn't say anything to defend that." said Yukinoshita.
That line itself also as regrettable as your chest.
"His attitude is that of those who familiar with this place and not to mention that this isn't the first time he's bothered me with his drafts." I excused.
"If that's the case then—" said Yukinoshita but being interrupted.
"Regrettably that this request might be the only thing that Yukinoshita would never beat me no matter how much she tries." I provokedly said.
I didn't need my actual heart reading ability to see through your intention, Yukinoshita.
"You've got a gut to look down on me, Hikigaya-kun. Fine, I'll review them." said Yukinoshita.
You and your nonsensical competitiveness really make things easy lemons squeezy for me.
"As if someone who couldn't review more than half of his manuscripts could beat me on that." I provoked her further.
"Although I didn't like the way you exploited your pathetic laziness but I won't turned deaf on what you're saying. I will take 60% of his manuscript so each you and Yuigahama-san take your share of 20%." said Yukinoshita.
"Ahahaha. Well, I guess I'll try my best too." said Yuigahama.
It would be better if you try your best to refuse the request itself like how you're praying for your beloved Yukinon in your mind, now that she's accepted that damn request so you're going to try your best not to slacking off and read those mind-boggling manuscripts as much as you can instead. Oh yeah while you're at it, do your best on coming up with some proper comments other than he knows a lot of difficult kanjis (which I can guarantee you that it's really doesn't sound convincing coming from you of all people at all).
Wait a sec. Didn't I just turn myself into the real ESP lately?
Whatever. I'm more or less satisfied that Yukinoshita will suffer with that manuscript more than me.
Although I'm not the type of holding grudges (at least far less than the certain Ice Queen), I still have to make it clear that I'm not the forever receiving end.
(Hachiman's room)
Now I, Hikigaya Hachiman, reading the manuscript of a certain idiot light novel writer.
The title of his novel is 'I'm just a run-of-the-mill villain'. What a half-assed naming.
Remember how I give him light novel materials? If you did then I will start reviewing the summary.
A forever 35 years old single truck driving hick named Morigi Zateru (森義 座輝). On a certain day, he's driving his truck and about to crash into the certain office lady who crossed the road without paying attention to the traffic sign whatsoever. Zateru doing his best to avoid hitting her. The office lady's safety is secured or not is not certain. But there's something that certain, and that is Zateru himself is dead. He's now reincarnated into the Isekai world. But there's one big problem: Of all things his reincarnation turned out to be, it turned out to be the wanted bandit there.
Although this summary is somewhat interesting (when compared to all of his previous creations to be exact), his naming sense is as ass as ever.
Seriously, Morigi Zateru? That's pretty much derivations and character swappings of his own full name (材木座義輝). Mori (森) is just pretty much the figurative combination of the first and second kanji of his own surname. Does he always see 林 and 材 as the same kanji? If that's the case then I'll recommend him to change his glass (and maybe a brain while I'm at it).
However, that's just my two cents on it.
Now as for the main character he's so proud of its design and portrayal.
I've got to say…
Are you sure you're not M, Zaimokuza?
As a truck driving hick, the main character has spiky brown hair, with an attached beard, appearing like a mane. His eyes are white with small black dots. Always wears only a brown sweater and a black trouser.
As an Isekai bandit, the main character is appears as a muscular man with greenish-blue eyes and long white hair. He wears a yellow-brown vest adorning the half-assed designed skull logo on his left side, as well as tiny gray suspenders worn underneath his vest, dark green trousers, dark grey boots with black tips, brown gloves, as well as a gray and yellow baseball cap with the the half-assed designed skull logo on its front.
If the main character can jump out of the manuscript, I will not surprised if he will comes after Zaimokuza's head someday.
And as for the plot.
…
Zaimokuza, you should better goes writing gag comics instead since humor is only a selling point in your works.
If I casted out the humor and only focus on the plot, I gotta say...
I know that you hate Riajuus, Zaimokuza. But you really didn't have to vent your grudges through this manuscript.
Seriously, he just makes the main character reincarnated as a 35 years old nameless run-of-the-mill bandit right off the bat after encountered with the office lady crossing the road eating cookies and do several attempts to NTR people there and later being labeled as notorious NTR Harem Bandit King.
So Zateru reincarnated or switching his body with the Isekai bandit? Make up your freaking mind!
And what the heck is this main character's love life in the end of its first arc? The main character ended up with the last one he's NTR with simply because the latter is the only one whose feelings for him turned into love.
Not to mention the epilogue, while driving a bandit motorcycle to rob the bank, the main character encounter the office lady walking past the crossroad eating cookies and then they're crashed. The lady is somehow isn't while the main character is dead again and now reincarnated as a 35 years old nameless run-of-the-mill hitman in another Isekai world.
I'm not sure if he's purposely trying to makes 'crashed into an office lady crossing the road while eating cookies' a new Isekai reincarnation running gag or he just simply couldn't come up with the competent new ideas for his own story so he recycled his own old idea.
However, I, for one, personally thinking that 'lady' and 'cookies' are weirdly fit for the reason why they're able to make the main character dead since I coincidentally have a certain experience that the cookies made by the certain girl can kill people. But still…
I am somehow feel sorry for making Yukinoshita goes through this hellish manuscript.
As a conclusion, anyone who will gladly spend their money to buy this accursed light novel has to either having NTR fetish or insanely holding grudges against Riajuu that telling them to go blow themselves up wouldn't calm them down whatsoever.
(Sigh) Once Zaimokuza, always Zaimokuza.
Really. I'm somewhat relieved that I didn't have to read more of it since I've noticed that even my monologue about it slowly turned into the ones that should coming from Yukinoshita.
At this rate I'm going to turn into her before I know so better stop it here. I don't want to have a feeling of my identity coexist with others again after all.
It's not like I really hate Zamasu in general but when it comes down to identity I prefer living my life as a single identity more.
Anyway, since I'm a (pessimistic favored) realist I have to find the good points for this manuscript too.
Let's see…
…
His story will inspire people to pay attention to the traffic light more seriously since even the drivers themselves can meet a fatal accident, or you can use this story as a substitute sleeping pills which I highly recomme— okay I've got to stop now, at this point whenever I tried to say something positive I felt like I just said something negative for some reasons.
Well, it's still too early to pass the judgment on this since this is just a mere 20% of his first volume of the actual story so let's have Yukinoshita handle that part (although I happen to know that Zaimokuza would be dead anyway regardless of having good points being said first or last).
Really, Zaimokuza. Give me back my precious time playing with Vita-chan while resting on Sofa-chan.
Argh... Thinking about it really makes my head hurt.
I will just go sleep. Just go freaking sleep and f*ck everything about Zaimokuza. Good Night!
(The Next Day, Service Club Room)
And my premonition yesterday is so damn right on the money.
Why? The moment I opened the clubroom door I find the dense sadist queen Yukinoshita one-sidedly enjoyed her time verbally abusive toward the laid former-human-currently-corpse Zaimokuza while the sleeping airhead Yuigahama can barely hold herself to stay awake while flipping each pages.
I closed the door and prepare to leave.
Please take your time~
"Where do you think you're going?" called Yukinoshita.
"I forgot the tractor in the infirmary so I'm going to get it back before someone take it away." I excused.
"Only idiot would buy such farce, Hikiliar-kun." said Yukinoshita.
"Then how about you do me a favor and play idiot for me?" I asked.
"How about you do me a favor and give him your opinions instead, Hikirunaway-kun?" retorted Yukinoshita.
I was about to say something but the corpse that I've been ignored up until now revived.
"Hachiman my god, please advise me." said Zaimokuza.
I'm so out of the damns to give about what I'm going to do so let's say I told him my opinions about his work which you can think of them as a simplified version of my yesterday's monologue about them.
Guess what happened next? Zaimokuza's overheating.
But does he still need Yuigahama opinions? The answer is that Yuigahama unintentionally gives him first blood damage by saying his work is so complex that she needs a long time to comprehend it.
That's definitely much worse than the previous kanji white lie she gives him before.
It doesn't take Zaimokuza a long period of time to recover since I'm the last one who has to voice the opinion and he said that actually he risked his own mentality by publishing his work (only prologue) online once more yesterday and the reviewers saying they're somewhat find his work passable (which I strongly believe that they're all talking about humors in his works and nothing more than humors) so he wanted our opinions as a factor to determine which part should be fixed before publishing.
Well, at least this guy deserves a praise for thinking about his reader's' feelings before publishing such mind-boggling novel plots without any consideration.
But I'll have to apologize in advance for ruining the good mood but let me say something.
I HAVE BEEN PROVIDING HIM ADVICES OF WRITING BUT ALL HE IMPROVED WAS COURAGE TO SHOW THE WORLD HIS CREATION. ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!
Okay, times up. It's time for Service Club's secret agent, and that is the job of student council aides.
Apparently, while I'm off to the tournament of power and wait to be returned to earth, Ebina Hina, the new student council president, appointed the entire Service Club as the student council aides since Ebina herself isn't cut out for the president position as she's become one due to nominations and votes alone. However, she spared the club's newcomers from being student council aides for the sake of being secretive position. Normally, I have to be one of the aides but considering that my very presence is pretty much erased from everyone memories thanks to Dragon Balls so I can pull the 'newcomer' card to spare myself from such annoying tasks.
Although what I (and Zamasu) did to Ebina will make me look like selfish bastard but I don't think I would prefer helping Hayama's group by interfering Tobe's confession as a third person more since I hate that the most in the world, not to mention that the main reason is because the whole group just self-inflict themselves so there's no helping it from the very beginning.
I don't know if it's a good decision to make Ebina a student council president since I have a feeling that Yukinoshita also wants to claim that position too.
And how do I know that? Giving how her sister is seems like perfect lady in every way and Yukinoshita actually looks up to her despite hating her so claiming that very position to match up with her sister is completely a normal thing for her to do, not to mention that she also has what it takes to fit the majority of the bill.
Yeah, you heard right. Majority of the bill.
But there's one thing in that bill that Yukinoshita couldn't fit in is that she's too much of a perfection freak that she might've ended up overworked herself like how it turned out during the cultural festival period and that pretty much dragging the whole student council down with her instead. Also, being student council aides suit her more so things should be better this way.
Ah ah, that's enough for now.
You may asked why?
Well, the thing is I'm on my way to my home normally and somehow I noticed something flying toward the certain mountain.
I would like to ignore them. I mean, their kis aren't that of evil people, unlike Frost.
But I don't think I could do that because they're all heading to my direction right now since they're gradually closing our distance, not to mention that my heart reading ability confirmed that.
There's no way I will allow them to cause a scene with me. I've already full with mental damage scripts lately so hell no.
I secretly shifted to Zachiman form and purposely flew off to Sobu High School rooftop.
When it's unoccupied, the rooftop is an ideal place to settle personal matters, especially when I don't want to involve them with Komachi.
"Took you long enough." I said.
"So you know that we're after you." said Ultraman-faced alien.
"And why did you after me? But before that, who are you guys anyway?" I asked.
"We're Galactic Patrol and my name is Merus, we're searching for Majin Buu." said the humanoid alien leader.
Majin Buu? If I'm not mistaken I heard that Zamasu has mentioned that name when he's… well, bragging about how gods from the certain universe defeat such evil being of the same name.
(A/N: Before Zamasu merged with Hachiman, he still doesn't know that it's actually Goku's doing)
"Majin Buu? Isn't that guy supposed to be defeated long ago by the former Universe 7?" I said.
"Well, as we've been informed, Buu can split into good Buu and evil Buu, and it's only the evil one that destroyed." answered Merus.
Oh, I see. Well, it's a matter of Universe 7 which isn't the responsible area of Zamasu so it's not strange if he doesn't know the actual story.
"I see. However, how is that related with me exactly?" I asked.
"Well, you see, Merus is able to sense Divine presences which Buu indirectly own some of them. And since Buu is powerful and Merus just sense that you fit the very well on those two terms. Even if you're not him at least there's a possibility that you might have an idea of him." said Ultraman-faced Galactic Patrol.
"Then sorry to say that I'm neither him nor know where he is. However, I believe that's still not answered my question entirely. Why did you assume that Majin Buu has to be here? If you analyze my ki properly you should be able to figure out that I'm not Buu." I said.
"Well, Jaco said he's on a planet called earth so we're rushed here." replied Merus while face the Ultraman-faced alien.
So this guy's Jaco. Why did I have a feeling that this guy can be described as space Zaimokuza?
"Why do I have a feeling that you're insulted me internally?" said Jaco.
Want me to flesh out the reasons?
"By 'earth', are you sure it's this one?" I asked.
"You're saying like there's another earth in this universe." said Jaco.
"Then try calling your earthling acquaintance to meet you here." I said.
"Fine. Fine. I'll try calling Tight." said Jaco.
Sometime has passed and it's confirmed that my premonition is right on the money since his acquaintance confirmed that there's no Sobu High School on her 'earth'.
And that's why you're space Zaimokuza, Jaco.
So all of them humbly apologize to me for bothering me and leave.
However, there's still something that doesn't sit well with me.
That Merus guy, once he noticed my heart reading ability he kept his thoughts away from me.
But that's not the case, even if he can hide his thoughts, I can still be able to guess his ulterior motivation to a certain degree without that special ability.
It's like he's already know that this place isn't the 'earth' he's looking for from the beginning but playing fool on purpose.
It's more like he is purposely come here to give me a message that screamed incredibly troublesome situation for me.
Well, thanks for informing me that but could you at least not attempt to cause a scene? And not involving me while you're at it?
So there's more fight related matters again.
Well, if it's like that then I'm just a Yuigahama (an idiot) for even hoping that I would be exempted from involvements.
If it's mortal doings then I guess he will goes rampage again. I hope he won't suddenly decided to carry out that plan anytime soon.
(Sigh) First Tournament of Power and now this.
Am I really looked like a super masochist or something?
Seriously, why do these things happen to me?
(Hikigaya Hachiman POV Ended)
(Yukinoshita Yukino POV)
Today's student council is dismissed sooner than expected so I get to go back to my apartment earlier than usual.
This is god's blessing. Now I have some free time before the upcoming schedule so I'll using them to watch cat videos to regulate my stress from reading such garbage novel.
In the middle of my way to go back to my apartment, I saw something.
I must be daydreaming. I saw Hikigaya transformed and flew off despite having no wings to begin with.
Is that hallucination? If so then I'll have to avoid and decline that Zai-something's request about reviewing his works at all cost from now on!
Can't believe I, of all people, said this but this is probably the first time I don't care if it's mean Hikigaya will be right about his provocation since I might have to go see the ophthalmologist anytime soon if I keep being stubborn.
(Yukinoshita Yukino POV Ended)
(Hiratsuka Shizuka POV)
"Be careful next time, madam. Here's your reminder ticket." humorously said the police officer.
"Yes." I tiredly replied as I took the ticket.
You might wonder what the heck was happened, right?
The thing is, I was driving to my favorite ramen shop and then noticed something.
That's something is my student, Hikigaya Hachiman, turned into green guy with white hair and flew off despite the fact that he's wingless.
Being awestruck by that, I got careless on my driving and almost cause a road accident so the police officer called me out on my carelessness and gave me ticket.
It's really a pain to come up with a reasonable excuse in such a blink of an eye. There's no way that the police officer would buy 'I saw my student suddenly turned green and flew away which distracts me from concentrated on driving', not to mention that it's still doesn't change the fact that I'm really careless back then.
Really. Did my hunger cause me to see such hallucination? But that's still not making any sense whatsoever.
Did I read too much "The Strange case of and " or something?
Hikigaya is twisted and weird but he shouldn't be that enigma.
Not good, I think I might need to go see ophthalmologist someday.
(Hiratsuka Shizuka POV Ended)
(Merged Zamasu POV)
How vexing. Both Super Dragon Balls and Time Ring still inactive. Also, the universe is somewhat different than I thought, now I couldn't locate where that Zuno is.
Tch. It can't be help. I guess I'll have to train while waiting for Super Dragon Balls becomes active again.
I must make sure that I won't repeat that mistake again.
Hm?!
Come to think of it, there's a lot of insanely high kis scattered all over the universe, and it's looks like at least two of them exceeded mine.
As I thought, it's better to be more careful after all.
Alright. Until I can successfully get rid of Omni-king, I will make myself stronger to the point that my power exceeded them.
Then let's start with this…
"Guwaaahh!"
I cut myself in upper half and bottom half.
And as I expected, my cut body regenerated due to my immortality.
"I'll be in your care, Zamasu." I said to my newborn me.
"Same here, Zamasu." replied my newborn me.
It's better to have at least a training partner, don't you think?
(Merged Zamasu POV Ended)
A/N: Chapter 2 for you readers. I hope you're not mad about the cliffhangers after a long waiting.