Pack-Stuffer Jr. ~ATH
Years in the future, after a whirlwind of disorienting events, a Chessman wrapped in wind-torn rags pilots his strange flying machine across the desert wastes of a destroyed planet. This Enshrouded Heliopterist makes his way toward one of the many spherical, sand-yellowed buildings littering the landscape, though this particular one he now calls home. A blasted-out segment of the building exposes a large, flat room – a perfect place for the pilot to land his Heliopter.
Parking it out in the open has not ended well for him in the past. Though the planet may be largely lifeless, that doesn't mean there aren't others here: Chessmen just like him, unfathomably far from their homeland, struggling just the same for survival against the harsh elements. Dersite and Prospitan alike (though those distinctions mean little anymore) see him approaching from above and become hostile. They hadn't planned on him and his Heliopter, and it makes them jealous and fearful. They attack, slinging stones and crude stick spears, trying to steal his supplies and his marvelous flying machine, or to stop him before he can steal theirs. Finding camaraderie in this cutthroat world has been near impossible, not after the first few days when everyone was still new to this world. When everyone still had hope they could return.
The Heliopterist is one of the few still holding on to this hope. He was given a mission before his exile, and he still intends to carry it out. He works the pedals slower and slower, allowing the rotor to slow and his Heliopter to descend gently onto the flat landing pad. Initially, this area had been covered with the remnants of smashed chairs and tables, but the Heliopterist has since cleared all the debris away. Little by little, he was turning this former laboratory a livable home. Just inside the dark overhang of the intact ceiling, he had managed to crack open a storage vault, where he now keeps the food and supplies he gathers on his expeditions. He grabs his salvage bag from the back of the Heliopter, but he passes by his vault. He will need these supplies right away.
This place is a safe haven from other scavengers, but there is still the problem of the Ghasts. Always, he can hear them emerging from somewhere deep within the massive laboratory. The black sludge that is essential to their creation is ever-present in these facilities, the crucible of their creation, and so the monstrosities continue to spawn in spite of the many the Heliopterist had already slain. Each night, his only hope is to lock his bedroom door tight and keep a piece of Grist handy in case he needs to smash a few of their slimy skulls open.
He follows a mazelike route into the facility that he has memorized over countless journeys into the dark interior. Before long, he emerges in a room with a great, glowing computer screen. Its light has begun to diminish lately, but that's what he's here to fix. He drops his pack on the floor and bends down under the keyboard. He removes a metal panel from the computer's housing and studies the dying power cells inside. Crossing his fingers in hopes that the computer will not shut down entirely, he quickly swaps the old cells with the fresh ones from his bag, one at a time. Miraculously, when he stands up, the screen is still on, still displaying the point of his last data save.
Onscreen, a young man stands in his room. Though it was over four-hundred years ago that he was given life, it is only today that he will be given a purpose. The Heliopterist stares at the blinking cursor in the command bar, putting his thoughts together. He begins to type, issuing this young, bespectacled human the instructions that will help him and his friends save the sacred planet Skaia from certain destruction.
Dupey ~ATH
From the Files of P.S.
He was just an Armored Dupe, some sad sack in a sadder sack of a uniform. They gave him a big stick and told him to keep an eye out, but for what, he hadn't the foggiest. Hardly a thing went on in this happy little sunrise city. These guys were too soft… It was gonna take a real hard dick to bust this nut of a case. A dick like me.
But I'll get into that in due time. First, we gotta start with the beginning. The place where it all started…
So like I was saying, he was an Armored Dupe, out on his nightly patrol. Everything's copacetic, as usual; so far as he'd seen, the worst thing going on tonight was a couple of kids holding hands past curfew. He rounds the corner and what does he come across but a bunch of guys in slick, black suits, looking so dark he thought his shadow came to life. Now, they may be integrated down on Skaia, but up here in the Golden City, it's a different sort of story. Some guys just don't know much about other worlds and what goes on out there in the greater universe, you know?
Anyway, there he was, walking past this department store when he glances in the window and sees, well, what he thinks is his shadow or his reflection or something. They do this whole monkey-see monkey-do routine, but as it turns out, it's actually a guy inside the store who looks just like him, only he's from Derse. Weird stuff, right? And this short little ugly fellow just happens to belong to the Midnight Crew, one of the most elite criminal organizations in the whole Medium. Some people just get all the bad luck.
But this Dupe doesn't know anything about this group, no sir, so he gets his little master key and he goes in this store, and there's this Midnight guy with his whole team running amok in the store, just grabbing whatever – stereos, TVs, computers, money outta the safe, you name it. But this flatfoot is wily; must've had an extra coffee that night. He's running up and down stairs, using the elevator, slamming doors in faces… He doesn't take any of them down, exactly, but neither do they take him down, that's the important part.
He finally pulls the alarm and the rest of the dupes in shining armor come running, so the Midnight Crew has to back off. They pull outta there, disappear just as smoothly as they slipped in, and leave all this merchandise behind. They find a calling card at the scene – the Two of Clubs. That means this guy's Clubs Deuce, one of the capos of the aforementioned Crew. He blew this easy-peezy little robbery job, and now they got this one guy to pin all their failures on. It was not gonna end well for this Armored Dupe, if you get what I'm saying.
Wage Slavery .pce
A week prior to Theo's dramatic abandonment of his post, he had a dream that he was at work. There was nothing scary or nightmarish about it, nothing peculiar or out of place. He was just at the register, working. Ringing item after item, the monotone beep of the scanner resounding through the otherwise silent store. The line of customers stretched to infinity, or at least to the back of the store, snaking around the corner by the office furniture. Actually, now that Theo has time to think about it, that normal-sounding detail in itself was peculiar, because the store is never that busy.
There was only one time it came close; that was a year and a half ago, when Theo started working there just in time for Black Friday. At the time, he found it difficult to fathom that so many people had flocked so suddenly to such a store. Of course, there were sales on computers and printers and scanners and fax machines; that was understandable enough. But there were also people buying ink cartridges, electric typewriters, white-out, and DVDs that they could have bought at literally any other store for cheaper. Where were these people the rest of the year? The allure of deals, the promise of big savings, the very thought of a Christmas tree laden down with anything and everything they could possible imagine, was enough to bring the masses out of their dirty little hovels to spend their money on heaps of shit they didn't need.
When Theo woke up from that disconcerting dream, thoughts of the worst time of the year rattling around his head, he told himself that it was time to quit this job very soon.
Today, he finally acted on that promise. It's one of the few that he ever kept to himself, but regretfully, he doesn't feel so great about it now. He's nervous, shaking, sweating, trying to control the sinking feeling in his gut. And three layers of shirts isn't helping. As he crosses the parking lot (they make the employees park in the very back), he removes his sweatshirt and carries it awkwardly as he works his Office Despot polo off. He holds it for a moment, trying to decide if he should capatchalogue it or just throw it on the ground. It's a nice shirt, but the logo stitched on the breast kind of ruins it. Maybe it could be an ironic sort of thing?
Theo ditches it on the dirty ground. Good riddance.
He sits in his Geo Tracker and squeezes the steering wheel, putting all his grip strength into it as if he's trying to strangle the life out of it. The tension causes the nervous jitters to subside for a little bit. He takes a few deep breaths.
tortugaTerran began pestering tuneHarmonic at 1:56 PM
TT: Broooooo, I just quit my job!
TT: D:
TH: hey, congratulations
TH: that's a big step towards
TH: uh
TH: your future?
TT: Yeah I'm off to a great start in my life as an unemployed stoner who lives with his mom -_-
TH: hey man don't beat yourself up about it
TH: those jobs are literally a dime a dozen
TT: This is the fifth bridge I've burned since I turned working age…
TT: At this rate, I'm gonna blow through every no-skill job in town and then my options will be all dried up. I'm failing myself into a corner.
TH: if you're worried about money and stuff, like throwing down for 4/20, then… don't worry about it, man
TH: i'll cover your share of the bag
TH: u know i'm good for it
TT: It's not that. Idk...
TH: just like go home and relax today
TH: fire up sburb and play with us
TH: aa is getting really into it
TT: Well…
TT: Ok :)
TT: Oh wait… Going home?
TT: Shit… my mom is gonna kill me when she finds out I quit T-T
Skaihunter ~ATH
The Obedient Knight did as he was ordered, crossing the hills of Skaia, its checkerboard pattern growing infinitesimally smaller as it spread to the horizon. The dropship accident had set him far from his intended destination, forcing him to traipse up and down the rolling hills until he spied a sign that showed he was on track.
A great, wide road peppered with dark, circular divots snaked its way across the countryside, weaving between the hills and stretching out across the flatlands. This was the great Cribbage Road, a display of Prospitan magnanimity. This flat-paved high road connected all the major settlements on Skaia, whether Prospitan or Dersite, so that anyone may visit any place… so long as they have a car. This would take the Knight where he needed to go.
After a long trek, he arrived at a mound overlooking the roadway. Just ahead, along the highway's edge, he saw what he was looking for – a cluster of gleaming gold metal; a gathering of other Prospitan soldiers and their heavy machinery. He approached, and the soldiers saluted upon seeing his uniform. He saluted back and explained his situation.
The captain in charge of this vehicular platoon gazed across the horizon at the tower that was the Knight's destination, rising from the flat plain beyond like an irksome splinter on an otherwise flat floorboard. He considered, then nodded and began barking orders at his squad. Two of them hustled over to a faded amber semi-truck. One climbed up the back and began opening the garage door. The other went to the cab and spoke to the driver, who fired up the engine. He then returned to the back and began lowering a ramp from beneath the truck.
The other soldier, now inside the truck, fired up another engine and began backing a small car out of the trailer, sliding gently down the ramp now protruding from the back. As he vacated the truck, the appearifiers inside fired up and, in a flash of green light, an identical small car appeared to replace the one that had been taken out. Meanwhile, the first soldier had backed the car up to the Obedient Knight's position, stepped out, and held the door open for his comrade in arms.
With a solemn salute to the soldiers who had assisted him, the Knight hopped into the car and took off along the dirt shoulder, merging quickly onto the paved path to join the flow of traffic. The car, labeled by its service rank as a Knightrider, was not dissimilar to the ones that were driven around the streets of Prospit, or from the others currently populating the highway, though it was clearly emblazoned as a military vehicle, as the fair and just laws of Prospit dictated. Its main difference was the set of tiny guns mounted on top, and the chutes in the back that deployed an obscuring smokescreen.
As the Knight and his Knightrider accelerated past the hapless civilian traffic, he noticed a pair of Dersite Punchbuggies on patrol. He knew this journey would not be taken so easily; they were, after all, still in the midst of a war, despite the gentle ease with which the commuters puttered along. The Knight swerved out, maneuvering himself behind the Punchbuggies, and opened fire. Smoke and flame burst from the back of the purple cars and they spun out, flinging themselves off the road to crash in a fiery burst. The startled commuters arose from their hypnotic reverie and slammed on the brakes. The Obedient Knight sped past, pushing ever forward toward his goal.
Stoner Bros ~ATH
[I]
Nico's roommate stands by his side, staring into the carved-out entrance to the sandstone tunnel in their basement. His name is Elan Lumire, and he's a Dutch foreign exchange student working on a degree in education. Unfortunately, his daily studies have been put on hold by the uncooperative Wi-Fi router. He even helped Brad pick out the service, thought it would be cheaper to go with a local company, but now he is starting to regret this decision. Not just because of the poor quality, either; there's something just plain creepy about the whole thing. Like that orange light. Clearly, the blinking red one means it's not working, so what's the orange for? Is it good or bad?
Elan shakes his head and gets his mind off it. He turns to the matter at hand, the reason Nico brought him down here: the Schnellburg Underground.
"Dude, is this cool, or what?" Nico asks. "I'm spooked as heck." He grins with a nervous giddiness and does a little hop-step dance.
"I can't wait to see, actually," Elan responds. The two of them heard about it from their friend Trey, whose dad works for the SkaiBlu Energy Corporation, but that guy's known to make up bullshit stories. Elan was fascinated and just had to look it up, so he purchased a paperback on local history from the "town pride" section at the bookstore. It confirmed everything they had been told: the bootleggers, the brothel, the hobo villages, the abandoned Halloween maze… Whether or not they'd find any of this cool history in the hundred miles of sandstone tunnels they were about to enter remained to be seen.
Elan grabs a flashlight from the tool bench. His STRIFE SPECIBUS allocates to Lightkind. Huh? At least now he can WIELD it so they can see in the darkness.
He shines the light into the tunnel. The floor is entirely sand, looking just like the beach. The walls are rough and warped, carved in gouges by pickaxes and rounded out by 150 years of erosion. Mounted to the wall are sets of rusty pipes and thick electrical cables. Has a city maintenance worker ever stood right here and listened to Elan whistle while he did the laundry? Or has it been decades since a human being has actually walked along this path? The dark air of mystery in the cave begs him to find out.
Elan turns to beckon Nico forward. As he does so, he spots the yellow Ethernet cable coming from the back of their Wi-Fi router. It snakes in through the passageway, then heads off down the tunnel just like any of the other utility lines.
"Which way should we go?" Nico asks, looking up and down the tunnel. Each end is just as featureless.
"Maybe if we follow this internet cable, we can see if there's a problem somewhere in the line that we can fix," Elan suggests, highlighting the length of yellow cord with his flashlight.
"You mean like if there's a kink in it?" Nico smiles. "Or a clog?"
Elan laughs. He's not sure what he was expecting to find, either, and in any case, he's no electrician.
"Just call me the Internet Plumber," Nico continues. "Come on, then, let's go see!" He begins to head off down the tunnel, and Elan follows.
The cone from the flashlight only extends so far, lighting the walls at it furthest limit like a strange, golden archway that beckons them ever onward. They pass little else, save for a near-endless supply of dead lightbulbs. Elan points his light up and sees that there is an electrical line that runs along the middle of the ceiling, to which light bulbs are connected every hundred feet. They're all seemingly turned off (the location of the switch is anyone's guess), or are they all burnt out? The bulbs littering the floor suggest that they replace them often enough, but again, maybe no one has been this way in quite some time.
arousingAntagonism began pestering pastelPerfect at 1:47 PM
AA: Hey, babe.
AA: How's the download going?
PP: uh not sure
PP: not at my lappy rn
AA: I must be the only one, then. :/
AA: I guess I'll carry the team by myself… lol
PP: what happen?
PP: i thought u were doing finals
AA: Uh, yeah… about that…
AA: I got bored of that, like… right after you hit me up.
AA: Hehe sorry.
PP: :|
AA: Anyway, I've been reading up on the game so I think I have a good idea of how things should go.
AA: We all have to connect to each other, so I set up an order that I think will work.
AA: Right now, I'm connected to TH, then he's going to connect to TT when he gets home, and then TT connects to you.
AA: And as soon as you're ready, I need you to connect to me. Then I can get going on carrying us to victory. ^_^
PP: k ill let u know when im back
AA: What are you doing, anyway?
PP: uhhhhh trying to fix the internet mainly
AA: What do you mean? It says you're online.
PP: what
PP: dammit
AA: Oh, nevermind, you're offline again. :/
PP: yeah see what i mean
PP: brb
PP: keep u posted
After a while, Elan's flashlight catches the glint of water trickling down the cave wall. In the sand beneath it, a small pool has formed. Inside, a cluster of crayfish squirm about.
"That's strange," Elan remarks. "I mean, not really, considering how close to the river we are, but… How are they going to get out?"
"Maybe they're cave crayfish," Nico suggests. "They're blind and they only eat weird cave bugs."
"Yeah, maybe," Elan agrees. Still, there's something disconcerting about them that he can't quite put his finger on. Not that he'd want to put his finger on them.
Pack & Stuff ~ATH
Years in the future from the moment when a young woman began a game with her friends, a Haggard Pilgrim watches the events unfolding in real time on a giant computer screen in an ancient laboratory. She stands before the keyboard, deciding what words she should use to try and alter the course of history. As she ponders, the human girl on the screen puts away her laptop and resumes sewing her ornate dress. The Pilgrim is too late; it has already begun. She types frantically into the command bar.
STOP
The girl sets the dress back down on the table with a heavy sigh. She opens her laptop again and begins clicking away, leaning back in her chair.
The Pilgrim buries her haggard face in her hands. It seems events are better left unalterable. She wouldn't want to cause a paradox, after all. Maybe her efforts would be better spent in the present. She turns to the other screen, where another Dersite, a dirty-garbed wasteland sojourner like herself, stands in a similar-looking room in a similar facility. She checks the coordinate reading. Entering the console's main menu, she checks the home network's properties and discovers it has very similar coordinates. All these similarities aren't just that – they're in the same building.
Her first instinct is to lock him in so he can't attack her or get more of the precious few pieces of food left in here, but she shakes it off – that's just the wasteland talking. She imagines she'll regret her brief bout of sentimentality, but being among the last of your kind can make you rather lonely. Her pointy, chitinous fingers clacking on the keyboard, she gets to work.
Though she's a bit rusty at it, using computers like this one is something every citizen of the sister planets of Derse and Prospit grew up doing. She quickly toggles between cameras in the stranger's vicinity, and sees exactly what she expected – Ghasts, closing in from every hallway. She opens the lock control menu and issues a lockdown in his sector. Or at least, she tries to, but something goes wrong. Wires get crossed, or perhaps the Pilgrim has simply forgotten the right commands, but instead, the Hypothermalized Storage Units lining the walls of the hallways blink to life, ready to be opened and release their treasures.
The perilous stranger seems to notice, at least. As he looks around at the newly activated machines, he gets jumpy, perhaps realizing at last the sound of the approaching Ghasts. He begins to open the hypothermalizers as quickly as possible, grabbing what he can before fleeing, not knowing that all routes are blocked. At last, he finds a standard-issue blaster rifle in one of the cabinets. It should keep him safe for a while, but its single plasma pack won't last forever. She's got to get down there and help him (and to pick up all the perfectly good food he's dropping in his haste). She quickly pulls up the facility map, estimates his location, and releases the lock on her own door so she can get down there.
Before she leaves, she takes one last look at the human girl on the other screen. If she can't change the course of events, at least she can make things a little smoother. She gives the young woman something to think about.
YOU'RE PLAYING WITH SOMETHING DANGEROUS. LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.
Stoner Bros ~ATH
[II]
The underground tunnel reaches its first fork. Nico and Elan turn left.
Further in, they begin to see something else mixed in with the burnt-out lightbulbs on the sandy floor. Ceramic tiles, decorated with cornice patterns, have fallen in crooked little rows. Elan points his flashlight up and sees their more tenacious comrades still clinging to their original positions. Elan points it out to Nico, who looks on with reverent fascination.
The tunnel doesn't seem to have any other decorations to it. Elan's history book purported an illegal brothel was once located down here, but he's not so sure "sandy cave" was part of their appeal. Suddenly, they spot the purpose of the cornices – merely a guide, an indication that they're getting close to the legendary location. The tiles coalesce into an archway, missing just as many fixtures, which must have led into the brothel at some point. For now, it's blocked by a massive cascade of sand, the apparent result of some sort of cave-in.
Elan wonders if the utility workers were aware of its existence while it was operational. Were they paid off, or was this tunnel originally separated from the rest of the network? It's quite possible that they hadn't used this part of the caves for utilities until the city expanded years after the shootout that ended the brothel's operation. He voices some of these questions aloud while he gives Nico the quick version of the history lesson.
"Too bad we can't get in there and look for ourselves," Elan finishes.
"Who says we can't?" Nico asks, turning his head to examine the archway from all sides. "There's a gap up there at the top. We could scramble up the sand and squeeze in! Or, I know I could."
"I really don't know, man…" Elan sighs. "It could always cave in more and bury us. We could be trapped or, like, drowned in sand."
"If it was really that dangerous, they'd put signs up," Nico scoffs. "Plus, this supposed brothel was open in, like, the 20s, right? That's no cave-in, that's just a hundred years of sand trickling down a grain at a time!"
"Heh, well, all right," Elan shrugs.
Nico goes first. It's a bit painful to watch him trying to wade through the sand like an extra-viscous tide, but he makes it. All the sand he kicked down seems to have made the gap at the top bigger, so he slips through quite easily.
"Woah! Elan, get in here!" comes his echoing voice. Elan does as instructed, filling his shoes and fingernails with sand as he climbs. Once inside, he slides down the far side of the sand bank and WIELDS his flashlight again to see what Nico is so excited about.
It's a small stone fountain, or perhaps more of a basin, sculpted in the Neoclassical style. There's a wide pipe in the middle where the water used to flow in (it's possible some more elaborate spout has since been busted off), and frightening cherub heads peer out from the garland patterns around the rim of the basin. It's been pushed a little off-kilter by the sand, but it's surprising how intact and exposed it is. Elan admires it with a museum-goer's sense of distant admiration.
"You think this is where the johns washed off their dicks after?" Nico posits.
"Or maybe this was the all-you-can-drink wine fountain," Elan laughs. He takes out his phone and snaps a few pics quickly. As he's doing so, a red bubble begins to form in the pipe spout. When Elan notices it, he jumps, dropping his phone into the sand.
"What the hell is that?" he asks Nico, pointing a shaky finger at the dense red mass rising from the pipe.
"Oh god," Nico gasps, drawing his attention back to the fountain. "I don't wanna float, Georgie!" He shouts. It sounds like a joke, but he's beginning to panic.
There's a cartoonish POP sound as the round, red object finally emerges from the pipe, shooting up in a lazy arc and plopping down into the sand. It looks like an oversized plastic sculpture of an M&M, until green claws begin to emerge from underneath. Soon, an ugly beaked head appears as well. It's some kind of turtle?
"It's a PLASTIC A'TUIPIN," Nico announces.
"Huh? How do you know?" Elan asks. His heart is still pounding, but he keeps his flashlight trained on the wretched little amphibian.
"I dunno," Nico shrugs. "It's just from this game I was trying to play with the homies…"
"It's… from a game?" Elan repeats. That would explain why the shell looks like plastic, but it doesn't explain why it exists in real life or why it followed them deep into these caves to start attacking them.
"Yeah, I knew it was gonna be some weird shit," Nico says. He's lost his sense of panic and now just seems annoyed. "Here, watch this," he says.
The turtle (Or A'Tuipin, as Nico put it) has been slowly advancing toward Nico, its wrinkly jaws widening in a toothless display of aggression. With the deftness of a soccer player, Nico uses the tip of his foot to flip the poor guy on his back. It begins to wiggle helplessly as Nico winds up a big kick and punts it against the cave wall. It explodes in a dim flash, leaving behind a pile of strange blue shapes.
"Ooh, Gushers!" Nico gushes. He goes over to check them out, but as he approaches, the shapes are suddenly drawn to him like a magnet, disappearing in a puff of pale blue embers as they make contact with him.
"Uh, Nico," Elan says softly, drawing his roommate's attention to the fact that more of the brightly colored turtles are coming from the pipe, this time in shells of purple and green.
"You go ahead," Nico offers. "You might need the experience points, too, you never know."
"Um… okay," Elan says. He swallows hard, looking down at the turtle slowly advancing on him. It recoils in blindness as Elan points his flashlight at it, giving him the opportunity for a good kick. It dies in the same manner, and Nico rushes over to collect the Gushers.
tortugaTerran began pestering pastelPerfect at 2:20 PM
TT: What's up? Lol
TT: I uh… walked out on my job today,
TT: so I thought I'd come home and play video games.
TT: Anyway, I got on SBURB and AA told me to connect to you or whatever, since I'm supposed to be your "Server" player.
TT: TH connected to me too. We have to do it in a certain order? Lol idk
TT: That's what your girlfriend said anyway. She's making it seem more complicated than it needs to be, I think.
TT: You there? :/
TT: I'm looking around your place lol. I see Brad but idk where you and Elan are.
TT: Maybe you went somewhere where you aren't getting reception…
TT: Well I put some equipment out for you, I think Brad's kinda pissed about it haha
TT: I was gonna say I can't really build until I get some of this Grist stuff, but some just appeared in the bar, so let me see if I can do something.
TT: Uh…
TT: Oh man.
TT: You're not gonna be happy about this one.
TT: :(
Firestorm .pce
littleBirdie began pestering arousingAntagonism at 12:42 PM
LB: omg
LB: shit
LB: i think i just hit somebody
AA: Wtf?
LB: hold on
LB: no she got up and walked away its cool
AA: Is she perhaps walking away to go tell the cops?
AA: You're in pretty deep shit here.
LB: no idk, i dont think she even noticed
Mara steps out on the balcony and looks to the sidewalk below. Her sister has parked her car with one wheel up on the sidewalk, and indeed, a somebody appears to have just been hit. She's limping away from a puddle of really dark-looking blood… or is that motor oil? Mara's not sure if that's a thing that happens with cars, but maybe there's hope that it's not as bad as it seems. The injured party keeps on stumbling away, however… Maybe Ella was right.
"See, she's fine," Ella shouts up to her sister. "I think she had some kind of brain tumor or something and it popped when it hit the sidewalk, so I basically just cured her."
Mara grits her teeth and whispers as loud as she can, "Stop shouting about it and get your ass inside!"
She takes a deep breath of fresh air, the last one she'll get before her sister starts stinking the place up with her booze breath. Mara likes to get fucked up as much as the next girl, but her sister takes it to a new level. Looking up into the sky, she notices the criss-crossing contrails and marvels at their geometric appearance. Something is wrong with the air, though. Not that city air is ever that fresh, but there is a particular sour tinge of chemical fire and decay today. Mara wrinkles her nose, listening to the faraway sirens.
She turns to the far corner where part of her costume project is drying in the sun after an application of fabric dye. It seems dry, so she lifts it up and looks it over. A large hole has burned in the middle of it, threads still embering at the edges of the oval-shaped opening.
"What the hell?!" she shouts. There's no obvious explanation for it, but it's windy today, and a stray cinder could have blown from anywhere. There really is something awful going on. Mara grabs her ruined materials and heads back inside, where she tosses it onto the rest of the dress. She takes this as a sign that it really is time to stop and do something else.
She goes back to her laptop, where she was deep in some forum posts about this SBURB game. She needs to get a hold of Kato so she can deploy some of the starting phrenalia and get this game rolling. According to his brother, though, he seems to be AFK for now. As she starts to read again, her sister bursts in, and Mara realizes she'll never be able to focus on anything with Ella's distracting ass here.
Stoner Bros ~ATH
[III]
headChef began pestering untoDeliverance at 2:23 PM
HC: hey!
HC: who the fuck left this stupid video game on?
HC: some green cursor just put our upstairs toilet on the porch!
UD: Well, is the downstairs one OK?
HC: i dont give a shit about that!
HC: we look like a fuckin meth house now!
UD: Oof
HC: where the hell are you two anyway?
UD: Ha ha, well, long story.
UD: We went to check out the Schnellburg Underground because there's apparently an entrance to it in our basement.
HC: theres a what? :(
HC: i have no clue why you guys like that creepy shit!
HC: so youre down in a fucking cave in our basement right now?
UD: Yeah, I guess that's the short version of the long story.
HC: so who left the damn game on when you went on your little la di da fuckin adventure huh?
UD: It's Nico's thing.
UD: He keeps talking about it… I don't know, it's kind of creeping me out.
HC: yeah and its pissing me off
HC: so tell nico to check his damn phone
"Nico, it sounds like-" Elan begins, but he is cut off by Nico's sharp "Shh!" He holds up a finger and points his ear down the dark corridor, listening to any number of the low rumbles (the pipes, the wind, the city above, the river below) echoing in the cave.
"You're right, it sounds like trouble," Nico finishes.
"No, that's not-"
"Shh!" Nico interrupts. "There it is again."
"You're starting to creep me out-"
The rush of distant water grows to a sudden crescendo, and Elan begins to panic, imagining a freak rainstorm hitting the city, threatening to drown them in floodwaters like another pair of stupid college kids you read about in the news. He whips his head around, but no water seems to appear, and the rushing sound resolves itself into a papery, flapping sound. Several dark, spindly forms dance into the flashlight's purview near the cave roof. Elan thinks bats, first, but they're too big – birds? That doesn't make sense, either.
One of them falls gently onto the sand in front of them. The flashlight illuminates its horrible, shining globe-eyes and its thin, paper-white limbs churning like some clockwork abomination as it propels itself toward them. More of the giant insects fall into the sand, their shells folding over the strangely hick wings that carried them here. Their lightweight bodies hardly make a sound, but the sand splashes up around them like a meteor strike nonetheless.
"ECTOGNATHS," Nico announces, backing up. He's holding on to a reasonable amount of his wits, though there's no one alive who wouldn't be frightened by the appearance of these massive alien insects. Elan, meanwhile, is freaking out. He tries to hold the flashlight steady for his friend's sake, but his nervous jitters make the beam dance wildly around the tunnel walls.
Nico stops retreating. He holds his arm out, indicating that Elan may continue if he wishes. Nico's not so bold as to approach the "Ectognaths" with naught but his feet, as he did the turtles; he WIELDS his Bro Beater. It adds hardly a foot to his reach distance, but Nico times it right. When the closest Ectognath finishes its next grasshopper-like jump, Nico swiftly reaches in and flips the bug onto its back with his wooden jo. Its soft belly exposed, Nico gives it a good whack.
Thankfully, there's no explosion of bug guts, just a flash and a puff of smoke and a scattering of strange shapes. This time, along with the Gushers, there are several ounces of some black liquid, impossibly congealed into perfect teardrop shapes that float just above the ground. These, too, disappear as Nico approaches them.
"Hey, that was easier than I thought it was gonna be," Nico admits. Their monstrous appearance aside, Elan realizes these bugs are actually quite vulnerable. He relaxes a little.
Suddenly, there is a deep rumble from somewhere above. The impact is so heavy that Elan and Nico can feel their legs shake a little, as if the whole Earth had been moved by this force. Elan thinks it might be an explosion or some kind of building collapse. Trickles of sand rain down from the ceiling.
There is another noise, much closer this time, a kind of rocky crack. An enormous boulder of sandstone breaks loose from the ceiling and crushes three Ectognaths at once. They perish with a squelching noise and a twitching of limbs, exploding into a pile of resources like their compatriots. A stream of sand begins to pour from the space formerly occupied from the dislodged rock.
"Oh shit," Nico says, assessing the scene.
"Yeah, let's get moving, man," Elan says, worry still permeating his voice.
Professor Star Man ~ATH
INTRODUCTION:
As a Royal Astronomer of the Kingdom of Derse, I have spent many long nights gazing through my telescope at the stars beyond the barrier of our own planetary system, into the great void that our beneficent, Horribleterrible Elder Gods call home. Such is my duty, to chart the movement of these shining other worlds and provide my professional analysis to the oracles who interpret what these movements mean for the course of history and its impact on the present. I have done this work for over two decades, since completing my rigorous studies at the University, and my daily work has become something of a meaningless ritual. Now, however, I return to the methods of research that I once employed as a budding young scientist to determine the accuracy of events I believe to have observed and what that means for the future of my work.
HYPOTHESIS:
Star Omega-Z-66b has always been considered important by the portent-readers of the kingdom, ruling over the realm of disasters and failures. However, when during standard weekly observations, it was rendered invisible by some means. This study aims to determine those means. It is hypothesized that, even though no supernova-type events were observed, the star has died or otherwise blinked out of existence.
METHODS:
Charting stars deep within the realm of Paradox Space is a difficult feat, as their movements can be erratic, subject to the whims of the Elder Horrorterrors and free from the normal laws of physics that govern our own encapsulated star system. However, extensive data has been collected for many years on their movements, and certain patterns may have emerged. In this study, it shall first be determined from these recordings if any pattern is present. Next, these patterns (or lack thereof) shall be compared against the current movements of the stars. If a suitable explanation can be found, it will be determined if Star Omega-Z-66b has either vanished or moved off course. Attention will be given to other stars, as well, to see if any similarly major changes have occurred in their movements.
DATA:
See attached documents, pgs. 2-413
CONCLUSION:
Forthcoming ~P.S.
From the desk of a Professorial Stargazer
Stoner Bros ~ATH
[IV]
The two stoner bros stand outside a rusty metal door set into the natural sandstone wall of the tunnel. A host of strange crystals cast an eerie blue glow over the scene. Some of these crystals seem to be natural formations – growing right from the wall in small, polygonal spikes – but the rest are the same hexagonal "Gushers" that Nico has been obsessed with collecting this whole time.
Elan pauses for a moment – haven't these been dropping from monsters? Then who was down here killing them? Nico doesn't have the same hesitation. He runs through them like a kid in a patch of white dandelions, rejoicing in the blue mist into which they dissolve. Elan turns his attention to the door.
It seems there are some other signs of the present down here after all. Elan pushes lightly on the door. It squeaks open. He jumps back, startled by its sudden harshness. Nico's ears perk up. He creeps over and peers in the crack created by the slowly closing door.
"Looks clear to me," he whispers. Elan can see only darkness, so he is in no place to disagree. He steps forward with Nico and pushes the door open, shining his flashlight beam inside.
It appears to be a simple break room: a table and chairs, a fridge and microwave, even a Tab soda machine. Elan admits to himself that it may not be a sign of the present, exactly, but it seems to be humming away just fine even though the light is off. They step inside and get a closer look.
"Ooh, popsicles," Nico says, going through the freezer. "Kinda freezerburnt."
Elan approaches the table, where it appears a worker has left his toolbag. Elan lifts the grubby flap and finds all sort of electrical equipment, like a multimeter and some kind of pliers, a pair of work gloves, and, best of all, some big-ass rolls of paper. Elan takes the top one out and spreads it out on the table, using the bag to pin down the curled corner. For once, the feeling of being a badass adventurer or movie guy overtakes the nervous sense of trespassing.
The label at the top reads "Skaianet Electrical Chart." This is exactly what they need! Funny how it happened to be right where they needed it. Elan studies it for a bit. He runs back out of the room to check the labels on the bundles of wall-mounted cables, then back inside to check these against the key on the blueprint. When he thinks he's worked out where they are, he fishes in the toolbag for a pen and marks the location of the break room with a little square. From there, he follows the maze of indistinguishable black lines back toward a large feature marked as an "Internet Junction Box". It seems important enough to be the thing they're looking for. But what will they do once there? Simply cycle the power, like solving most electronic problems? Elan realizes he has little idea how electrical lines work.
Nico has been going through every drawer, mentally cataloguing every item, no matter how mundane. He also physically captchalogued a few, though Elan wasn't watching exactly what. He now spots the blueprint laid out on the table. Elan lays out his theory regarding the junction box.
"The map never lies," Nico states with certainty.
Elan feels like he should protest this baseless proclamation, but it's the way he arrived at his conclusion, too. Without any real knowledge to draw from, Elan realizes he's basically just following a gut instinct. It seems, though, like a good day for following one's instincts. It seems to be working for Nico.
Elan rolls up the blueprint and captchalogues it. Oh great, now Nico's got him saying all this weird video game stuff, too. They leave the break room, backtrack a bit, then follow just a few turns to reach a tunnel with a light at the end.
At first, Elan's heart jumps, thinking they've been caught. But the warm breeze and the distinct sound of distant traffic indicate that it's actually a passage to the outside. Being in the dark for so long made Elan feel like they had been creeping around in the depths of night, when in fact, it is the middle of a sunny spring day. Further down the tunnel, Nico's phone chimes several times in a row as he suddenly gets signal again.
arousingAntagonism began pestering pastelPerfect at 2:35 PM
AA: So then you go to File / Network Options / Connect to Client Player, and it should pull up your contacts from Pesterchum and you can select me.
AA: Okay?
AA: Hello?
PP: oh hey hi hello
PP: sorry ive been... underground
PP: think i missed a few messages
AA: Is that some sort of cute way of saying you fell asleep?
PP: no literally im walking out of a cave rn
AA: Um… the fuck?
PP: haha yeah, cool right?
AA: Lol you just couldn't wait for the game to install, huh? :P
AA: You're so bored that you had to go find your own little adventure?
PP: yeah... lol
AA: Well the fun is starting without you!
AA: TH and I are already in the game, and we're doing pretty well!
AA: You should see what I did to his apartment already.
AA: I made a third unit above his upstairs neighbor and a secret staircase to it... It's so cool; I have to send you a screenshot.
AA sent a file: kato's love nest (jpg)
PP: swag
AA: See? All the action's happening in here, babe!
PP: i beg to differ
AA: :?
PP: tell u in a minute
PP: tt is blowin me up