"How's your sandwich?" Adriana asked the Joker when she found him in the kitchen.
"Great," he said, seeing that she had put on a sportwear jacket. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Adriana said and retrieved her own sandwich from the refrigerator. "Are you staying for dinner? I might rotisserie a chicken."
"As lovely as that sounds," the Joker said. "I have an appointment with Dr. Kapoor."
"Mm," Adriana said as she stood at the kitchen island eating. "Right."
The Joker watched as she pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket while still chewing.
"Unknown number.." Adriana said. "Yeah...I don't answer those."
She sat her phone down on the counter, smiled at the Joker and began eat again. He watched her look at her phone again as it rang again. After a few minutes it rang for a third time.
"Ugh.." Adriana said, finally picking it up. "I'll hang up if it's a telemarketer."
The Joker picked up his glass of water and took a drink.
"Hello?" Adriana said to the caller. "Bruce!"
The Joker raised his eyebrows and listened.
"Oh, sweetheart!" Adriana said. "The ID was saying it was an unknown number or something, sorry-"
Adriana smiled with glee as she listened to Bruce.
"He just got put down for a nap...should I wake him?...Okay...okay...maybe tomorrow.." Adriana said. "I'm so happy to hear from you...me too...I love you so much...I'm so proud of you. Is everything going well?...Really...That's great...Okay..."
The Joker finished his food as Adriana wrapped up her call with Bruce.
"That was Bruce," Adriana said, even though it had been obvious. "He's doing great."
"That's good to hear," the Joker said. "Although I am sorry Arsenio missed his call."
"Well, that wasn't your fault," Adriana said. "He takes a nap around this time every day."
"Actually," the Joker said. "It's usually a bit earlier. So Bruce probably thought he would be awake now."
"Hush," Adriana said. "He'll try again tomorrow. Don't worry about it,"
.
.
.
"Hello?" the Joker answered the unknown number on his phone.
"Hello, Jack," the Joker heard Bruce's voice say.
"Bruce," the Joker said, surprised. "I thought you were permitted to only call immediate family-"
"Are you busy?" Bruce asked.
"Just got home and I have an appointment in ten minutes," the Joker said.
"Then you have ten minutes," Bruce deduced.
"Eh, sure," the Joker said after pulling off his jacket. "So...how is rehab going for you?"
"Just fine," Bruce said in a bland tone.
The Joker listened to the very short answer and got the feeling that Bruce was lying. He didn't know if it was because rehab was turning out to be more difficult than Bruce had anticipated or if he was lying for some other reason, but the Joker didn't pressure him for the truth.
"Well, that is good to hear," the Joker said to him.
"And how have you been?" Bruce asked the Joker.
"Great," the Joker replied, again feeling that Bruce was hiding something or that he was calling for some other reason.
"Adriana tells me you and she are spending a lot of time together," Bruce said.
And there it was.
"Did she?" the Joker said.
"Yes," Bruce said.
"It's strange that she would put it like that," the Joker said.
"Why?" Bruce asked.
"Well, I have been spending a lot of time at Wayne Manor," the Joker said. "But not a significant amount of time with her. With Arsenio. She is quite busy. Cooking, cleaning, being a mother, working out, and regularly running off into the city to beat up thugs."
"You watched her working out?" Bruce asked.
"No, Bruce," the Joker said.
Bruce was silent.
"Okay, I saw her exercising," the Joker said. "But I wasn't watching. I was looking for her and she was in the gym."
The Joker heard Bruce let out a breath that sounded like he was stressed.
"And what was she wearing?" Bruce asked.
"I'm sorry, what?" the Joker replied, wondering if Bruce was being serious.
"Either you don't remember or you know what she wore," Bruce said, knowing that if he could rely on anything, it was the fact that the Joker was not going to lie to him.
"Right.." the Joker said. "It was a..I don't know, sort of washed out pink color-"
"That suit with with matching shorts," Bruce said.
"Eh...sure, if you say so-" the Joker said.
"Jack, I would appreciate it if you didn't go looking at her in the gym," Bruce said.
"As I said," the Joker said. "I was not looking, I merely saw her while looking for her-"
"Then perhaps next time you could look with your eyes closed," Bruce said.
"Your paranoia is impressive," the Joker said.
"Paranoia.." Bruce repeated the word.
"You sound like you think something would happen between Adriana and I while you are away," the Joker said.
"That is not what I said," Bruce said. "I trust my wife."
"And you apparently do not trust me," the Joker said.
"It's not like that, Jack," Bruce offered. "It's only that...well...I know that my wife is very..."
"Very what?" the Joker asked, not taking the bait.
"She is very beautiful," Bruce said. "And I know what she looks like in that outfit."
"Yes, well," the Joker said. "Your paranoia is unwarranted."
"I miss her," Bruce said after a pause. "And perhaps that is making me assume the worst. I apologize. I miss them both very much."
"No problem," the Joker said.
"I have the most thoughtful, loving and forgiving wife..." Bruce said.
The Joker listened again to Bruce's tone and got the feeling that something was going on with him that he wasn't sharing.
"And it is my fault that she is alone right now," Bruce said.
"She is not alone," the Joker said. "She's with Arsenio and Alfred. And Lucius is by regularly. Her sister may even visit next week."
"Oh?" Bruce said. "And what then? You won't be able to visit with Harri around. How will Adriana explain you?"
"It's alright, will only be a couple days," the Joker said. "Harri probably barely remembers what I look like, frankly. Even if I were to visit-"
Bruce began to laugh.
"The one who saved her sister after she was abducted? The one she couldn't stop staring at during the dinner we had? She remembers you and asks Adriana about you regularly," Bruce said.
"Ah.." the Joker said. "Well, that is awkward."
"Nah.." Bruce said. "Adriana lies and says we aren't in touch with you much anymore."
"Well, that makes sense," the Joker said.
"Whew...I needed that laugh," Bruce said.
"Glad to be of service," the Joker said. "Dr. Kapoor is at the door."
"Right, well have a good session and goodbye."
.
.
.
I miss you.
Adriana opened her eyes. Her phone's clock said it was 3 a.m. and the text message had come from Bruce's cell phone, which Adriana thought he was not allowed access to.
Bruce? She wrote back.
Yes, it's me. The response showed up immediately.
I thought you weren't allowed to have your cell. Adriana wrote.
Yes, that's the rule. I took my phone out of their secure storage because I needed to tell you how much I missed you. I will put my phone back before they realize it's gone.
Adriana looked at the message sleepily. She had just come in from stopping two burglaries and a happened across a carjacking.
Okay, Bruce. I don't want you to get into trouble for stealing your phone back.
Adriana sent the message and closed her eyes. Again, his reply was quick.
I won't, he wrote.
Okay, sweetie. I miss you too, sooooo much, she sent.
Bruce took a few seconds to respond with a short message.
Are you sleepy? he asked.
Almost, Adriana wrote back.
I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about you. It's driving me crazy, Bruce sent three separate texts. I can't believe it's been two weeks since I held you.
It's okay, my love. Only a couple more weeks and we will be back together, Adriana said and followed the text with a few kiss emojis.
And those little kiss faces are making me think of your lips, Bruce said.
Adriana wasn't sure what to say in response. She almost felt bad.
I am incredibly horny, my love. Bruce said.
I can tell... Adriana said back.
After a moment Bruce sent her a string of kiss emojis.
Kisses for your beautiful neck, he wrote.
Thank you, sweet lips, she wrote back.
Your lips are so beautiful, Bruce wrote. What I wouldn't give for a picture of them.
Adriana smiled at the text before replying.
Well, I would send a photo...but how can I be sure that it's actually you I'm texting? Someone could have your phone.
The reply back took some time, which made Adriana wonder if was really Bruce that she was talking to.
You know my phone can't be accessed by me or you...or anyone with the exact same retinas as mine. Or yours.
Adriana rolled her eyes at herself. Of course.
But if you still aren't convinced... Bruce continued writing before sending a photo.
Adriana's eyes opened wide as she looked at the photo Bruce sent her. It was not a picture of his face. She gazed at the photo of his manhood for a long moment before replying.
Your identity has been verified, she wrote with a wink.
He sent a wink back.
Wow, that is nice bedding, Adriana said, noticing the gold colored embroidery. They weren't kidding when they said it was a luxury rehab center.
Bruce sent her a series of kisses and wink emojis followed by a long string of red lip emojis. Adriana smiled again. She sat up and flipped her hair over her shoulder and took a picture of herself with pursed lips.
Kisses for you, she sent along with the picture.
She waited for Bruce's reply.
Baby! He exclaimed. You are so beautiful! The most stunning eyes to ever grace this earth...
Thank you, my love, Adriana wrote back.
If I were there I would kiss those beautiful lips so much, Bruce said. They would tire of my kisses.
Never, Adriana told him. I think you should put your phone back before you're caught sweetheart.
I will put it back in a couple minutes when I am finished, Bruce wrote. Promise.
Finished what? she asked.
He sent her a wink and a popping champagne bottle emoji.
Your beautiful picture will help me get to return my phone sooner, he said with another wink. Those lips are the sweetest torment.
So...you're stroking to a picture of my face? Adriana asked.
Weird? Bruce asked with a laughing emoji.
Not at all, Adriana replied. You're adorable.
I love your eyes, baby, Bruce said.
Adriana sent Bruce kisses and hearts and felt her eyes closing sleepily.
Finished, he wrote shortly afterwards.
Cutie, Adriana wrote. I hope you enjoyed.
Very much. Your beautiful eyes and lips made it very intense, Bruce wrote.
I'm happy, Adriana said with a heart. Now put your phone away, love. Don't get into trouble.
Baby, Bruce wrote. I'd love to be in trouble with you. You should tie me up, punish me good.
I will, when you get home, Adriana told him. But only if you put your phone back where they had it.
Okay, Bruce wrote. I will clean up and put it back now.
Okay sweetheart, Adriana said. Sleep well. I love you.
I love you much more, Bruce wrote. Goodnight to you and your beautiful eyes.