"Bucky, what are you doing here?" Chris's voice comes from the living room which makes the men break their hug.
"Well, your dad told me about this amazing place, and I had a few days off, so why not spend it with you both here?" Buck says, smiling but noticing that Eddie hasn't turned around yet.
"Yay!" Chris exclaims.
"Why don't you pick something to watch? While your dad helps me with my bag in the car, ok?" Buck says.
"Ok. Oh and let's build with lego later. Please…" Chris replies looking at Buck.
"Uh, sure buddy. Why not." Buck replies and sees Chris smile before turning around to the main room turning the TV on.
"Come on let's stand outside." Buck says, grabbing Eddie's jacket which was hanging on the coat hanger by the door, he watches as Eddie gingerly moves to put his trainers on.
"Thanks for making an excuse to go outside." Eddie says trying not to look at Buck.
"It is fine. I'm annoyed with you though, keeping this a secret and I don't mean the loving me part either." Buck says trying not to sound too annoyed but the last part came off a bit too strong.
"I know, I know, it's just..." Eddie starts but Buck cut's him off.
"You're a Diaz man and you have to be strong. Is that what you've been thinking this whole time? Eddie if you're in pain you should have said something! This is something you can't delay! Look, I know you don't want to talk about it so I'm just gonna drop it for now." Buck went off suddenly and what came after was a deafening silence. The discomfort in Eddie's face made Buck punch himself to which he nearly does but controls himself.
"How about we go watch a film and sleep and tomorrow we can have a quick chat and enjoy the day, I can stay for two days if you want me too." Buck says trying to change the mood.
"Always, and I promise we will talk… Just not now." Eddie says.
"Good, now come over here and hug me." Buck says with a smile.
Eddie just falls into Buck's arms and hugs him tight.
"I'm guessing tomorrow we need to talk about the L word…" Eddie says awkwardly.
"That's tomorrow's problem, tonight's is making you feel comfy and resting."
"Ok, thank you. Oh, there are only two rooms so are you ok with sleeping on the couch? I don't mind sleeping on it if you want." Eddie says breaking the hug.
"Edmundo, stop putting me or anyone else first for a night. You're going in that bed even if I have to tie you down. I have slept on couches before and it's only for two days then I gotta head back." Buck says, noticing Eddie's movement, "Don't worry everyone at work thinks you're at your parents. Bobby was a bit suspicious when I got to work, he said that you had gone to your parents and I was like but he never said anything while I was there. Bobby then cornered me in the locker room so I just said that maybe I got some wires crossed and then the alarm rang. A little warning would have been okay, you know I would have covered for you."
"I know and I'm sorry, I didn't warn you because I just needed to..." Eddie starts but drifts off.
"Get away from it all?" Buck smiles knowingly how it felt.
"Let's head in, it's getting cold." Buck says and moves to the door and Eddie leads in taking his jacket off and slowly kicking his shoes off. Buck watches as he sees Eddie clearly struggling to take his jacket and shoes off but he just keeps quiet then follows Eddie into the main room.
Eddie ruffles Chris' hair who smiles at him then looks to Buck. Eddie turns then slowly starts to make his way over to the kitchen when he feels a hand on his arm and looks to see Buck smiling at him.
"No, you sit down and rest, what did you want?" Buck asks.
"I was going to make us popcorn and hot chocolates." Eddie replies.
"Yay, hot chocolate!" Chris says looking at them both.
"Ok well, I'll make it while you sit no arguments, Eddie." Buck says, giving Eddie a stern look.
"Fine…" Eddie says rolling his eyes and heads to sit with Chris.
Buck wanders over into the kitchen and looks around the cupboards trying to find the hot chocolate powder. So he searches through draws seeing the food Eddie had obviously got. He also found some pain killers and took some so Eddie could medicate if he hadn't already, but Buck knew Eddie wouldn't have as the packet was unopened. He found the chocolate powder and started making the drinks. While he waits for the milk and popcorn he looks over to the boys sitting on the sofa. Chris is laughing, smiling, and Eddie is struggling to smile how did Buck miss this? He thinks back to the day Eddie said his leg had started hurting, he should have done more especially after his research session to which he had his assumptions but then the fire at his apartment had him distracted but no more.
"Hey Bucky, can we have marshmallows please?" Chris asks.
"Did you buy any?" Buck asks as he knew he had not seen any.
"Top cupboard, next to the plates." Eddie shouts.
Buck walks over and looks in the cupboard and sure enough, there are the marshmallows next to the cereal. Buck shakes his head, he really needs to teach Eddie how to put the correct items in the right cupboards.
"Who puts marshmallows with cereals? It makes no sense." Buck shouts over.
"It does to me." Eddie says.
"And me." Chris adds.
"Well, yeah. Chris, you learned that bad habit from your dad, I think when we get back we will need a good long sort out of your draws, don't you think?" Buck chuckles as he stirs the pan.
"Good luck, I haven't cleared them out in ages." Eddie lets out a laugh but gets cut short and Buck knows it most likely hurt.
Buck finishes making the drinks and popcorn placing them on a tray with a glass of water and puts the painkillers in his pocket. He makes his way to the living room where Chris was sitting on the floor with pillows so he just places his drink and popcorn next to him.
"Be careful it's hot." Buck says pointing to the drink and Chris nods.
He then places his and Eddie's drinks on the coffee table and takes out the painkillers, passing them to Eddie as he takes a seat.
"Have you taken any at all today?" Buck asks trying not to glare at him too much.
"No, I kept forgetting. Plus, they make me tired and I came here to enjoy and not be tired." Eddie replies.
"Eddie, you can't fight through the pain so take some. I'm here, it will be ok."
"I know and thank you…" Eddie says as he takes some and washes it down with water.
They sit there and watch the film. But every now and then they would look at each other and often catch each other doing it, letting out a little smile. Eventually, Eddie started to nod off and Buck noticed Chris was out cold. He gets up and picks Chris then puts him to bed. After which he came back quietly cleaning up and once done, he turned the TV off and gently nudged Eddie.
"Hey, come on. Let's get you to bed" Buck says and Eddie nods as he slowly walks to his room. Buck was close behind carrying another glass of water and painkillers.
He watches as Eddie climbs into bed, not even bothering to change and Buck doesn't say anything. He just places the pills and water next to Eddie and heads to the door.
"Shout if you need me, goodnight." Buck says.
"Thank you and goodnight too." Eddie says.
Buck walks back towards the living room stopping at a closet which he hopes has blankets in it and it doesn't. He looks through the rest of the cupboards and there are no spare blankets at all.
"What kind of lodge doesn't have spares?" He says to himself.
Eddie lays there quietly hearing Buck and smiles at what he heard. Having him here was a godsend, he didn't know why he thought Buck would only show him kindness out of pity. That wasn't Buck at all. He rolls gently, listening to more doors being opened and closed, and decides enough is enough.
"Buck." Eddie says and within seconds, Buck is at the door.
"Is everything ok? What happened?" Buck says.
"Nothing, I can hear you in the draws, what are you after?"
"I can't find the spare blankets."
"Oh, well. It's late, just get the bed with me." Eddie says and see's Buck's eyes go wide.
"Erm, you sure?"
"Buck, we're friends. We can share a bed we did the other day, I can't have you freezing out there. You would be no use to us if you get a cold. Just get in and sleep. We can find the blankets tomorrow." Eddie says pulling the covers back.
"Ok then." Buck says as he strips his clothes so he is in just his boxers. Eddie stares as the moonlight makes Buck's pale skin shine, yet it shadows some of his body making him look hauntingly handsome. He loved how Buck looked but this was not the time or place for that.
"Take a picture, it will last longer."
"You are the worst. Why'd you strip?"
"Well, unlike some I find it rude to wear clothes I've been in all day and get into bed with them. I'll let you off though."
"Ok, let's just sleep. Chris will be up early now you are here."
"Very true, night Eddie." Buck says as he rolls over.
"Night." Eddie replies as he just looks at the back of Buck's head. He wished it were under better circumstances, but he was happy with this moment.
Buck struggles to sleep through the night, he is still trying to process everything he has learned and when Eddie wakes they were going have to have a very long and emotional talk which Buck didn't mind as it was a long time coming but he knew for Eddie this was going be hard, Buck turns gently and looks at Eddie whos fast asleep and Buck can feel tears forming in his eyes the fear kicking in that of Eddie was ill he could lose him, he wipes the tears.
'No, don't think like that!' Buck says to himself.
He rests his head on the pillow and just watches Eddie sleep and smiles as he sees a bit of drool drip from the corner of Eddie's lip, Buck closed his eyes and nodded off.
"Bucky you're still here!" Chris' voice rang through Buck's ears louder than any alarm, which made him sit up instantly.
"I am buddy, but it's a bit early to be up..." Buck says noting that it was only six am, he looks over to Eddie who is awake but has not moved and smiles at him. Eddie rolls over facing away from Buck and sits up.
"Chris, come on, let's go into the living room and put some tv on and maybe nap for an hour?" Eddie says, he feels a hand on his shoulder so turns back.
"Stay, I can go in the living room while you two rest." Buck explains.
"It's fine, plus you know, you need to change." Eddie says smiling and Buck remembers he is just in his boxers and can feel the heat making him go red.
"Can we have pancakes?" Chris asks, making Eddie and Buck both look at the younger Diaz.
"Maybe..." Eddie says "Come on then let's go."
Chris wanders off and Eddie slowly rises. He was feeling tired but pushed through and made his way out. Buck watched Eddie struggle and knew he needed to talk the man into seeing the doctors.
Eddie wandered through the lodge to the living room where Chris had already settled and had the tv on. So Eddie takes a seat next to him and Chris huddles up. Buck now dressed walks slowly to the living room and stands at the doorway leading to the kitchen, watching the two people that he had wormed himself into their lives.
"Dad, are you and Buck boyfriends?" The question throws Eddie off, and Buck feels bad for not being there and he knows he shouldn't go in.
"Why do you ask that?" Eddie quizzes.
"You shared a bed, people who love each other share a bed don't they? And after the other day where I explained what I saw and that Carla agreed I thought you would be." Chris replies.
"No, we are just friends and we can share beds too, and this couch wasn't comfy so that's why Buck shared my bed. And remember he doesn't know as you and Carla won't say anything so let's keep it like that." Eddie explains knowing he already confessed his feelings in a silly letter, while Buck felt his heart break. He loved Eddie so why could Eddie not be honest with Chris?
"Oh..." Chris says and Eddie can sense the sad tone.
"Why so glum?" Eddie asks.
"I want Buck to be your boyfriend, so he can stay with us all the time." Chris says and it hits him how much his son loves Buck.
"Well, let's enjoy the most of the time he is here and stays with us, ok?" Eddie explains. Buck decides he needs to pipe up.
"So, pancakes for breakfast?" Buck says to which he was greeted with a jolly yes from Chris.
"Ok then, why don't you watch tv while I make them. Eddie wanna help me?" Buck asks.
"Sure." Eddie replies with dread of what was going to be brought up.
He slowly walks to the kitchen and Buck already has pills and water in his hands ready for Eddie. To which Eddie takes and leans against the counter.
"So, you can shout at me for eavesdropping again, but why did you say that to Chris? Why not tell him that I know you love me? Are you ashamed of me?" Buck questions, Eddie feels like an idiot.
"No, I'd never be ashamed of you, and I said that because you know he would automatically go off saying that we're together and you will be his second dad... And we haven't even spoken about you know... Us, and then I have.." Eddie couldn't face saying it. The fact that he could leave them earlier than he expects.
"The lump, Eddie. I know, a lot is going on and I'm sorry. I should have seen it from your view and that, it's just... I have waited for so long to get the chance to hold your hand, and tell you how much I'm in love with you." Buck says getting closer to Eddie.
'He only loves you as you may be ill.' The thoughts in his head start.
"Do you?" Eddie questions, he was unsure as he had the doubt running through his mind.
"Yes. And not through pity like your mind is most likely thinking, but because everyday that we spend together, I fall deeper and deeper in love with you. I'm not here to rush you or push you into anything that might make you feel uncomfortable. I'm here because you need me, I know you're not much for talking, but I do need to know what your feelings are for me and then we can move forward... Or stay as we are but I need to hear your side and if you can't I understand but please try."
Eddie stands there listening to Buck. He thinks about all the wasted time they have wasted away and what little time he could have left. Now he doesn't want to wait any more and waste any more time.
'Tomorrow is never promised.' his mind reacts to what he said to Chim.
With this thought clear in his mind, he does something impulsive. He closes the space left between them and places a kiss on Buck's lips, he feels Buck lean in but then they both freeze.
"Yay! But EWWWWWW!" Chris shouts and they break apart.
"Chris, erm.." Eddie says he was like a reindeer in headlights.
"So, Chris you cheeky monkey it was me. How did you manage to keep that quiet? Plus, I'm hurt. I thought we were buddies." Buck says.
"I know, I'm sorry. But Carla said it was something dad had to figure out, without us interfering." Chris explains.
"It's fine, just go back to the living room for a bit." Buck says then turns to Eddie, "We need to talk." And then they hear crutches going to the living room.
"Thank you, Buck." Eddie says.
"It's fine, it's new for all of us, though at least we know he will be okay if we date."
"Oh, so you want a date?"
"Well, erm, if that's ok with you? I would love to..." Buck replies with his goofy smile and watches in worry as Eddie takes a seat and rubs around his groin. It's a sharp realization for Eddie that time may not be on his side, he couldn't face the worse and only be dating Buck, he needed more time, he needed to be selfish for once.
"Not really, no. I am done waiting around, Buck will you please be my boyfriend? When you think about it, we have had so many nights out and in that have felt like dates. I don't want to wait anymore." Eddie confesses.
Buck doesn't answer to which it made Eddie worry for a bit. Then in an instant, Buck leans in, quickly kisses Eddie, Eddie returns it with a fervor that made Buck shiver.
"Guessing that's a yes?" Eddie says after breaking the kiss.
"Of course, now you're stuck with me forever." Buck says and Eddie dreams of waking up to Buck forever. But really? For how long could that be?
"However long that is..." Eddie says glumly.
"Don't talk like that. We are calling the doctor later, you understand?" Buck replies holding tightly to Eddie's shoulders. Eddie thought about it, what if it's nothing and he is just playing the worst-case scenario in his head? What if he goes to the doctor and it's nothing or not even there? He didn't want to look like a fool.
He thinks about it for a second, the doctors wouldn't be a good idea. He needed to check again, but he didn't trust himself. He looked over and saw Buck staring at him, quietly waiting for his answer.
"Ok, but could you check as well for me?" Eddie says and he hated asking.
Buck looked at Eddie as he asked and he knew it was a hard thing to do.
"Of course, let's eat first, and then we will go into the shower. Get you in the warm water and I'll check."
"Shower?"
"I read it's best to check after a nice long warm shower so that's what we will do, ok? I mean it wasn't how I expected to get my first fondle of your lower region but hey..." Buck says with a smile.
"So you wanted to fondle me?" Eddie jokes back wanting to lift the somber mood that had filled the room.
"Oh come on, I bet you wanted to fondle me too." Buck says with a cheeky grin.
"I will not admit anything, but we should eat before the munchkin comes to pester."
"Yeah, you go sit with him and don't bother trying to argue with me. I'll make the food then you can take shower and I will well you know."
"Thank you." Eddie says and kisses Buck on the cheek before wandering into the living room sitting with Chris who is grinning.
They watch TV as the sound of Buck making breakfast can be heard, Eddie ponders how he got so lucky to have Buck in his and Chris's life?
Eventually, Buck calls them to eat and they wander through. Eddie sits, his mind falls back to the future and what it could mean. Eddie hasn't even realized he has finished. The sound of Buck cleaning the dishes pulls his back, the empty table in front of him, the sound of Chris laughing in the living room.
He looks to Buck who smiles at him and signals him to head to the bedroom. He slowly gets up and wanders down to the bedroom, grabbing a change of clothes, and heads to the bathroom.
He strips and starts the water waiting for it to get warm before he enters and starts to shower. He lets the water run down his back and lets the warmth of the water heat his body up. Eddie slowly washes himself and then rinses himself off. He stands under the water for a while just letting the jet beat at his neck and shoulders. Eventually, he stops the water and hears the door open. He knew it was Buck, but he didn't want to move with worry setting in.
If Buck feels it, Eddie didn't know what he would do. He lets out a sigh and moves out of the shower and Buck is sat leaning against the sink. Eddie picks his towel up and starts to dry himself off a bit.
"Well... You're looking... Just wow." Buck stutters and Eddie lets a little smile, even with the seriousness of what was going on he appreciated Buck's little bit of Buckness.
"Shall we do this?" Eddie says, turning his head trying not to make eye contact.
"Ok, just relax." Buck says.
"Easier said than done, you ain't standing naked in front of your boyfriend for the first time." Eddie explains and he knows he's blushing. He never thought this was how Buck would see him naked. Well, there were the showers in the firehouse but that was different, they were not as intimate as now, they were also covered so it was fine. But now?
Buck smiles and turns to run water in the sink and starts to strip.
"Buck what are you doing?" Eddie questions.
"Well, you're right, which I hate to admit. You're standing there naked, so I'm gonna make you feel more comfortable and hopefully less awkward so I'll strip too. I'm just gonna warm my hands up, you don't want cold hands... You know grabbing." Buck says sheepishly.
"Thank you..." Eddie says still avoiding eye contact. He loved how much Buck was going out of his way to make him feel comfortable.
He watches as Buck soaks his hands and then dries them before taking in the beautiful view of Buck's muscular back down to his butt. Eddie couldn't help but notice the niches and ridges that outline Buck's behind, it made Eddie want to touch him, to embrace him, but he had to control himself.
"Right if you lift you, well you know, the shaft, and I'll gently check. Just let me know if it hurts ok" Buck explains and sheepishly kneel in front of Eddie, "Which one did you feel?"
"Left." Eddie states quickly and lifts his shaft, turning to look at the tile wall. He can't look down, scared of Buck's expression.
He feels Buck's warm hands slowly rub over and the pain starts as he moves around and Eddie winces making Buck stop.
"Sorry." Buck quickly says.
"It's ok, just that it hurts there." Eddie explains still looking at the tile wall.
"Ok, I'm going to go over again but press a bit more ok? Just to get a good feel."
"Ok." Eddie says and braces as Buck starts again with a firmer press. He winces as the pain starts again jabbing him sharply, Buck stops and Eddie feels his finger go over the same spot twice more before stopping. Eddie closes his eyes dreading the answer, he feels Buck's fingers leave.
"Eddie, open your eyes." Buck says.
Eddie opens and see's Buck standing in front of him, his expression unreadable, and he can't face looking at him so Eddie just leans into Buck and feels Buck's arm close around him.
"You felt it didn't you?" Eddie questions.
He didn't want to know the answer but he needed to know.
"Yes." Buck states and Eddie feels tears forming, "It's going to be ok. Let's get dressed and call the doctor, get you in ASAP, even if it means we have to go back today." Buck calmly says to Eddie, holding his shoulders to steady himself before fiercely hugging him.
It was so awkward to be hugged by another naked man, but he wasn't any other man out there. Still, this wasn't how Eddie was expecting their first encounter naked would turn out to be. In the bathroom, naked, and checking for a lump
Eddie couldn't say anything, he didn't want to talk, he breaks the hug and slowly gets dressed. By the time he has got dressed he turns to see Buck all dressed and looking at him but he could see Buck wasn't looking at him with pity but with his happy face which confused Eddie.
"Why do you look so happy?" Eddie questions.
"Because the last thing you need is someone giving you a pity look. Plus, you are now my boyfriend, definitely not how I planned this week but I'm happy I have you." Buck explains and sheepishly looks away.
Eddie looks at Buck with a smile, somehow he was expecting that kind of reaction from Buck. It was Like he knew somehow. How did he get so lucky to get someone as charming as Buck?
"Right, call your doctor. Explain everything and I'll keep Chris busy and explain we may have to leave today, ok?" Buck states and Eddie nods.
Buck turns and hands Eddie his phone before walking out of the room. Eddie unlocks his phone and opens the contacts and hovers over the doctor's number, it was just after 8 am so they would be open so he presses the dial.
He speaks to the receptionist who takes his information and asks him what is the problem and Eddie hesitates, but despite the fear Eddie explains about the lump and pain he has and the nurse explains he needs to get it checked today to be sure. Eddie explains he is a few hours out so won't be able to get there till at 6 pm. The receptionist explains they're open till 7 pm so he can be booked in at 6:30 pm and Eddie thanks the lady then hangs up and leaves the bathroom. Ready to upset Chris with having to leave early, he wanders down the hall and stops as he hears Buck talking.
"I'm hoping I can make him happy, he has just been tired from all the work he does." Buck states and Eddie presumes Chris has asked why Eddie seems tired.
He walks in trying to paint a smile, but he knew he could keep it up for so long.
"I have a good-news bad news kind of thing, we will have to leave today and like within the hour. I got that meeting..." Eddie states.
"Ah cool, right. Chris, remember what I said? Go get your stuff packed" Buck says gently nudging Chris to stand up.
"Okay." Chris says getting up and heads off to his room, hugging Eddie as he passes him.
"So..." Buck says unsure of what to say.
"6:30, tonight. What did you say to Chris?" Eddie questions.
"I explained we may have head back today as Bobby needs help at a big event and that we would arrange to come back here soon. He asked if I was going to come to and I said we will see what you would say." Buck explains.
"Buck, you're my boyfriend. My cariño..." Eddie says lacing his fingers with Bucks, "You will be here, no questions." Eddie explains before kissing him and sees Buck smile like an idiot.
"Right, let's get everything sorted, and oh I kind of called your Abuela and asked her to have Chris tonight so that I can come with you... And then we can process everything, I just said we had been summoned to work."
"Thank you."
They spend half an hour getting the place tidy. Eddie lets the people know he has to head back as he has been summoned to work and starts to pack his car and Buck says he will meet them at Abuelas. The drive back gave Eddie mixed emotions, he was happy as he had Buck finally, but he was also feeling sad that life l was about to kick him in the face and take it all away and make Buck feel abandoned again. Which he never wanted to do and Chris would lose another parent.
Maybe he was just overthinking, but how couldn't you overthink something like this?
He listens to Chris as he rattles on about how happy he is and that he can't wait to tell people about his dad and Buck. Eddie explains that they need to keep it a secret for a while and Chris promises.
Honestly, he doesn't know what this kid knows. For all he could care, this kid might be a secret genius plotting something against him. It's just… Scary, that his kid had to grow up so early. Due to his condition, he had to. Sometimes his kid seemed to know something that Eddie doesn't know, and most times he is surprised by how wise the kid is. And as a parent, Eddie honestly didn't know what to do and this scared him.
They finally pulled up at Abuelas and it was just getting to 5:15 pm. Traffic was congested badly due to an accident that caused major delays, but Eddie was happy to get Chris inside to Abuelas.
"So, what is this big event?" Abuela asks.
"I'm not sure, Buck is the best one to ask." Eddie says as he notices Buck's jeep turn up and he lets a smile.
"Ahh, I see," Abuela says in that tone Eddie knows all too well.
"What?" Eddie questions even though he knows she knows something already.
"You can't take me as a fool, Edmundo. Are you going on a date with Evan?" Abuela states so casually that it made Eddie feel dumbfounded.
So dumbfounded that his Abuela would come out with this, his thoughts shake when the door knocks and before he can intercept the door his Abuela opens the door with quick reflexes even for a woman her age.
"Evan, nice to see you, where are the flowers?" Abuela asks and Eddie slaps his hand over his face not wanting to see Bucks face.
"What do you mean flowers?" Buck questions looking at Eddie who still has his hand covering his face.
"If you're taking my grandson out on a date you should have turned up with flowers." Abuela says with a giggle.
"It's not a date, it's a work thing..." Buck responds and Eddie just wants to curl up and die, it couldn't get any worse. Right?
"Oh, please don't lie to me. I saw Chim and he said you were both off for the next few days, so I put two and two together. Especially, after you came around panicking over where Edmundo had gone off to." She explains and of course, with their luck they would get found out. Abuela wasn't stupid.
"It's fine Abuela if you must know me and Buck are together, but tonight is a work thing. I promise." Eddie says walking over and lacing his hand with Bucks.
"Finally," She says as she pulls them both in for a hug, "Go have fun." She adds with a wink.
Abuela's actions shocked Eddie, and the way she said 'finally' made him think that she knew or she had caught on to something between them beforehand. It made Eddie convinced that he got his observative nature from his grandmother.
"Just don't tell anyone, especially my parents. I can't be dealing with them right now." Eddie responds.
"Ok. Just go! And stay safe." She says.
As they both leave, Buck drags Eddie to his jeep and they head off to the doctors.
Eddie remains silent the whole way but the comfort from Buck's hand on his thigh kept him grounded. They pull up to the doctors and Buck gets out first and Eddie looks at the building. What would the diagnosis be? He wonders as the door opens and he sees his Buck smiling at him.
"You ready?" He asks and lends out a hand to help Eddie down.
"I suppose I am." Eddie says putting a brave face on.
"Don't worry. I'm with you." Buck says and they head in.
Eddie checks in and they wait to be called. Eventually, they are called in and Eddie drags Buck in, he needs the support.
Once in the room, he explains to the doctor what had happened and the pain, Buck then explains he had checked and felt it too. The doctor explains he needs to have a feel but it could easily be a cyst or fatty lump which makes Eddie feel slightly better, he goes behind the curtain and prepares. The anticipation of knowing what it was made Eddie queasy, but with Buck there offering his support made this a little bit easier.
"Right, this will be a little uncomfortable but I need to use a firm hand. I'll be as quick as possible." The doctor explains.
"Ok." Eddie replies.
He stands there as the doctor feels round. The pain starts again but he keeps quiet till the doctor is finished.
"Alright Mr. Diaz, we are all done if you want to dress and take a seat." the doctor says.
Eddie pulls his boxers and trousers up before sitting back down next to Buck. He laces his fingers between Buck's.
"Mr. Diaz, there is a lump in your left testis and I am concerned with what you have explained to me about feeling tired. So I will print you a note to take to the hospital for your biopsy. We can test it then and assess the next step, as I previously stated it could easily be a cyst or fatty lump so let's get the test done." The doctor explains and Eddie nods.
He watches as the doctor types and collects the printout. He feels Buck's grip tighten to let him know he is still here.
"This is the letter you will need. Now when you go to the hospital, and I stress you should go tomorrow morning, prepare anything necessary as they may take you straight in. Is there anything you want to ask me?" The doctor asks as he hands Eddie the letter.
"No, I'm good thank you." Eddie replies as he just wants out. He can feel the tears wanting to burst but holds them back.
"I have one." Buck states, and Eddie wasn't surprised. Buck will want to learn as much as he can to help Eddie.
"Go on." The doctor replies.
"What are we talking about if it is cancer? What's the prognosis and treatment?" Buck questions and it's the one thing Eddie doesn't want to know, but at the same time at least he can prepare himself for the worst.
"If it is, and I must stress it can easily not be, depending on the spread and severity of it, you may be looking at chemo. But also an operation to remove the infected area." The doctor says and that hits Eddie hard, he didn't think an operation may be needed, "I suggest you go home and get as much sleep as you can."
"Thank you..." Buck says as they get up and leave.
Eddie moves on autopilot, the surrounding world warping into nothing but a blur. Everything the Doctor said kept running through his mind, he didn't even realize he was home until he heard the front door close.
"We're home?" Eddie questions slightly confused the trip back was such a blur.
"Yeah, you kind of zoned out and just went on. I didn't want to push you, just wanted you to know process things, how are you feeling?" Buck asks and slowly makes his way towards Eddie.
Eddie thinks for a second and he didn't know how he felt. If he was honest there were so many emotions currently running through his head. He doesn't answer and walks to his room, he hears Buck call but he just enters the room and sits on the bed as he looks at the letter in front of him. The same letter he left here as he left Buck, for the fear of what was about to come, for the fear that he might hurt someone he loves. The tears start to fall as he places the letter on the side and puts his hands to his face.
Buck hears the sob and runs straight into the bedroom and see's Eddie hunched over sobbing into his hands. He had never seen Eddie like this, the cool and calm emotionless man he had known for years was crying. But knew he had to be strong and not break as well, at least not around Eddie anyway. He walks up and sits next to Eddie and rubs his hand over Eddies back.
"I'm here Eddie..." Buck says, "I will be with you the whole way, I have your back remember?"
Eddie moves his hands and turns to Buck and sees his warm smile that he gives him despite the tears clouding his vision and falls into the open arms Buck holds up and just breaks down in Buck's arms. Buck starts to cry too, knowing this was going to be hard but he had faith it would be nothing.
"I don't know what I would do if you weren't here Buck." Eddie sniffs.
"Knowing you, trying to push through this and not getting yourself checked." Buck explains and Eddie knows he was right, if it weren't for Buck's push he wouldn't have gone to the doctors.
"You're right, it's just..." Eddie starts and thinks about what his dad used to say.
"You are a Diaz I know, but you know asking for help shows strength too. As we all know people find it hard to ask for it, so you have taken a big step today and I'm so proud of you." Buck explains and places a kiss on the side of Eddie's head.
"Thank you, I love you, Evan..." Eddie says as he holds tighter.
"Eddie, I love you too, and we will get through this."
Buck holds on to Eddie as the sobs disappear but he can still hear him sniffing and the wetness of the tears soaking his shirt. But he doesn't move, he just holds Eddie. And after a while, he feels Eddie has stopped crying and a faint snore can be heard so he gently moves Eddie into the bed and covers him, and places a kiss on his forehead before moving around to the other side. Knowing that if Eddie wakes up he will need to be there, so he climbs in and sits up to start researching, eventually, falling asleep with his phone in his hand.