- - CALINA - -
She snatched her hands from the mirror, afraid that if they lingered any longer more horrid memories would trickle into her. With the reality of what she saw sinking its teeth into her heart, she turned and fled the glade, eyes already fogged with tears.
Galadriel remained as she was, motionless as she watched Calina run out the dell and disappear into the shadow of the night. Though she made no move to follow, the Elf-Witch left Calina with words of parting.
'You cannot escape that which has already come to pass.' Galadriel's words rang clearly in the mind of the younger. They were like an icy breath, so bitingly cold it left the lungs racked with a frozen sting.
Calina fled as if that would somehow aid her in escaping this new truth. Down the paths of Lothlórien she went, with no goal other than to get out of the city. Calina pushed so hard she began to pant raggedly. Despite this, she did not lessen pace. If anything, she pushed harder. She persisted in her frantic sprint until the paved paths gave way to earthen trails, and the ethereal orbs that lit the city were entirely replaced by the glow of the moon. Though she had long out-stepped the bounds of the city, she did not care. She needed to be alone. To try and somehow process what she had just remembered.
It was only when she reached the top of the valley's ridge did she finally stop, collapsing against the base of a massive tree. Her fingernails raked against the bark so aggressively she was sure they would break. But this discomfort was nothing. Nothing compared to the catastrophic ache that was shredding her heart to pieces.
Having stopped, her chest relaxed just enough to let a barking sob. It racked her entire being. With the start of one, another followed. And then another. She slid down the side of the tree and wailed, the forest becoming a cacophony of sorrow.
Emotion flooded through her. There was the shame in knowing what she had done. The guilt for not having been strong enough to overcome the darkness sooner so the massacre would never have happened. And the crushing grief for having murdered so many innocents. She wept until she was all but spent and exhaustion took over. She fell into a fitful sleep, tears still dripping from her lashes as the night finally gave way to the red sky of dawn.
- - HALDIR - -
"Ahem."
Calina awoke, blinking hard as she tried to push the lingering sleep away. After rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, her gaze fell on a pair of brown boots that were now standing before her.
Her eyes flicked upwards. "Haldir," she acknowledged him quietly, her eyes darting away from his ever-strict watch, "How did you find me?" She murmured.
His answer was simple, "You are marked with shadow among a forest of light."
"Oh." The tiny word faded off in a breath.
The Marchwarden's brow knitted together, 'Last night she was lively. Now she is so dim.' He brushed the stray thoughts away, carrying on, "Lady Galadriel requests your presence so as to fix this problem." As he spoke, he extended his hand to her.
Tentatively, she took it, "She's going to cast another spell?"
Haldir nodded. In a single refined move, he pulled her up from the base of the tree. "Come." Without another word, he began to head back towards the city. But when he didn't hear her follow he paused, turning back to see what was delaying her.
Her gaze had fallen over the valley. From their vantage point, the entirety of Caras Galadhon could be seen, along with its surrounding forests. The sun had finally crested the opposite ridge, and it cast striking rays of amber across the entire valley. The city glowed, welcoming the sun and its warmth against the cool morning. A torrent of emotions swirled across her face as she looked out over the city. Sorrow and awe were most prevalent. Mixed with lingering tears, it was such an odd combination of expressions that for an instant, Haldir could only watch.
"It's beautiful." She said after a quiet moment.
The Elf blinked at her sudden proclamation. He let his gaze sweep over the valley as well, his shoulders relaxing in the slightest at the sight. "It is."
As she continued to stare momentarily lost to her thoughts, Haldir's gaze shifted, silently watching her, 'Lady Galadriel was right. There is far more to the Shadow Walker than any of us thought we knew. The Fellowships' trust in her is proof enough of that. If they bear her no ill will, then neither will I.'
He then walked back up to her and extended his hand. "Come." He said, much gentler than any time before.
She looked up at him, eyes and cheeks red from having shed so many tears. Then–and the Marchwarden had most certainly not anticipated this—Calina broke from her standstill, closed the distance between them, and enveloped him in a desperate hug.
Haldir froze. He could feel her fingers clutching his cloak against his back. 'She is so small.' He mused, looking down at her. The Marchwarden then carefully—albeit, awkwardly—returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around Calina to comfort her.
"You have the company of the Fellowship, and the safeguard of the Lady of Light. All who trustyou, myself included." To his words, she clutched him tighter. He felt her hiccup. Haldir's head dipped down, his chin faintly brushing against her blue-black hair. It smelled of what he could only describe as night and lavender.
From amidst her face being buried in his shirt, she uttered a quiet, "Thank you."
"There is no need for thanks. Now," he drew back from the embrace but kept a safe hold on her shoulders, "are you ready to go back?" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Calina then opened her eyes and nodded, now smiling.
To this, the corners of the Marchwarden's lips turned upwards into the smallest of smiles. "Good," he affirmed, letting his hands fall from Calina's shoulders, "Let us go." And so, the pair began their trek back. As they walked they journeyed side by side, the two of them peacefully making their way beneath the golden trees of Lothlórien.
.
Their journey back into the haven was a pleasant one. The leaves were tumbling through the air around them, and the wind was a bit more lively than it had been the day before, but not so vigorous that either of them found it unpleasant. By the time they arrived back at the glade, it was well into morning.
Haldir stopped just a-top the steps. He caught Calina's weary glance and tightened jaw. "Do not be afraid. Lady Galadriel only aspires to help you." He said assuringly.
"I know, but the mirror, it… it showed me things…" Calina's eyes were quickly returning to the distraught gaze they had been when he first found her.
The gears of his mind were beginning to turn. He dared to ask a question, but only out of clarification, "What was it you saw?"
"A memory." She stopped there.
Haldir knew she would say no more, but he found he didn't need her to. "I take it that it was not a good memory." He said. This was a statement. Not a question.
He watched her try to keep a handle on her still fragile emotions. She uttered a single, broken, "No."
"Despite whatever it is you saw, know this: our lives are made up of many moments. Do not let one of them define you." Haldir cast a sudden glance over Calina's shoulder and into the glade. He straightened, gesturing behind her, "The Lady awaits."
- - CALINA - -
Turning, Calina saw Lady Galadriel standing just as she had the night prior. From Calina's perspective, it was as if the Elf-Witch had not even moved, perhaps not even breathed.
"And Calina," Haldir said, causing her to look back at him, "we all have our monsters. But only when we conquer them may we truly move forward." With a final nod of parting, the Marchwarden then turned back down the path and disappeared around the bend, Calina standing there in the wake of his words.
"Are you ready?" The voice of Galadriel called.
Calina turned towards the Elf-Witch and walked back down into the glade. "I thought the spell couldn't be repaired."
"The magic of a wizard is different from that of the Elves." Galadriel answered simply, walking forward. They met halfway, coming to stand at the center of the well-lit glade. Galadriel, wasting no time, brought her hand up in front of Calina's skull. Before Calina could even ask the Elf-Witch what she was going to do, Galadriel began the spell.
The wind began to whip around them as a surge of white light erupted from the Galadriel's hand. Calina's body lurched and her head tipped back, eyes overrun with their familiar black hue. The longer the spell progressed, the more violent the gale became. Leaves lifted off the ground as threads of black and white static appeared around them. They crackled and cast angry purple sparks where they met. Closer and closer the sparks raged, vehemently fighting each other as the spell progressed.
A lock 'CRACK' erupted as the two magic's collided in one final blow, sending one last shower of sparks to the ground. The black magic flickered and died, leaving the light magic gently floating in a coiled wisp around them. The magic snaked around them before shooting down Galadriel's arm and straight into the space between Calina's eyes, who lurched as the magic vanished into her mind. At last the air stilled, and Calina toppled forward.
Galadriel, in her ever-present state of grace, swiftly caught Calina before she could fall to the ground. The Elf-Witch looked to Calina as she stood unmoving. The younger's head was entirely bowed and her breath was coming off in heavy pants.
"How do you feel?" Galadriel asked.
After a few seconds, Calina regained control of her breathing and she looked up. "Wonderful. The weight of the darkness has been lifted again."
"The spell has served its purpose." The Lady then released her. "But heed my words: as it was with Gandalf's spell, this spell too is not perfect. Should you test it, it may break, for the darkness still lingers in your heart. And that is something only you can overcome."
Calina turned dismal, "How will I manage that? I am nowhere near as powerful as you or Gandalf."
"You underestimate yourself. And while you may not yet remember how to wield it, the magic within you has its own memory. Trust it. It will not lead you astray." To this comment, Calina's eyes turned wide. "For now, I suggest you return to the Fellowship. They have been most worried about you."
Calina bowed deeply and bid her goodbyes. "Thank you Lady Galadriel. I hope I don't disappoint you."
The Elf-Witch smiled, "I have faith in you." With a final nod of parting, Galadriel watched the younger bow once more before she floated up the steps and out of the glade.
- - CALINA - -
After gingerly moseying her way along the stone paths, Calina found herself strolling back into their campsite. She stopped just at its entrance as she spoke. "Hello everyone! I apologize for running off last night. Lady Galadriel and I—" But that was as far as Calina got before she was bombarded by a pair of Half-lings.
"We were all so worried!" Pippin said, hugging her waist.
"We were sure they'd tossed you out!" Merry added, attached to her other hip.
"Oh yes, Merry, because Lady Galadriel would do that."
"You never know! She is an Elf-Witch."
"I don't think she would."
"Oh, do you now?"
"Yes, actually, I do!"
While the two miscreants continued their banter, Gimli spoke up from his bed. "Welcome back, lass." Aragorn was nearby, resting against the base of a tree and smoking from his pipe. He nodded to her, and she returned the gesture.
Merry and Pippin were still bantering back and forth. She couldn't help but laugh. "You two are relentless." This quieted them long enough for her to answer some of their rapid questions. "But, really, I'm fine. Lady Galadriel and I had some things she wanted to show me, and she also repaired Gandalf's spell."
"Is that so?" Merry added, finally detaching himself from her waist and looking up at her. Pippin instantly followed suit and then the both of them were standing juxtaposed before her. She laughed, still amused at their ever-comical antics.
"I can tell. Can't you Pip?" Merry started.
"Yes, her eyes are different."
"The black in your eye has gone for the most part."
She halted them mid rant. "Wait, really?"
Merry ran over to his sleeping place and grabbed a mirror. "Here! One of the Elves let me borrow it." He said as he handed it to her.
She grasped the mirror and took in her reflection. For a moment she could only stare, mesmerized at the new normalcy that was the appearance of her eyes. Merry and Pippin were right. Her sclera had reverted back to white and save for the thin, nearly imperceptible black ring around her irises. Otherwise, her eyes looked perfectly normal.
After a moment, she relinquished the mirror. "Thank you Merry. Where are the others?"
"Frodo asked Boromir if they could have another sword lesson and Sam asked to join, so they're off doing that." Pippin said, flopping down on his bed.
"Frodo was quite eager, wouldn't you say?" Merry continued, quickly coming to drop down beside his friend.
"That he was. He seems to be taking quite a liking to it."
"And Boromir is an excellent teacher."
"And Legolas?" She said quietly.
There was a distinct pause. That alone had her worried.
Merry dared to start, rubbing the back of his head as he spoke, "Well, we don't know where he is."
"He hasn't been seen since last night." Pippin admitted, fidgeting.
"Where did he go?" Calina asked.
"Boromir scared him off." Gimli chimed in. Aragorn shot the Dwarf a stern glare. "What? She's bound to find out eventually." Aragorn rolled his eyes and took a heavy pull from his pipe while Gimli continued, "Your brother was still rather heated after you left and ended up having another go at the poor Elf."
"What do you mean?" Calina said, her tone shifting to something crisp.
"It wasn't anything horrible. Legolas tried to follow you, but Boromir put his sword to his throat and promised to kill him should he dare go after you."
While the words themselves were nonchalant, the air in the campsite turned static with a new growing fury. Even the very wind stopped in its whirl and the birds silenced their chirping.
"Oh, she's angry." Merry murmured, pulling his pillow in front of him as if to shield himself from Calina's growing rage.
Her fists were clenched at her sides and her eyes burned with the fury that belonged to that of an infuriated sibling. "If you'll excuse me, I need to find my brother so I can throttle him into the next age." Her words were so cutthroat that the witnesses cringed. All of them were silently afraid of whatever punishment Boromir was about to receive as they watched her begin to stomp back across the glade. But she hardly took two steps before the man in question came waltzing back into the campsite with Frodo and Sam in tow, the three all chatting excitedly about defensive tactics.
"Oh dear." Pippin whispered as Merry tried to further hide behind his pillow.
"Now this'll be good." Gimli added, sitting up a bit further to watch the encounter.
Aragorn could only sigh as Frodo began the scene by acknowledging their once-missing comrade's return.
"Calina, you're back!" The Ring-Bearer's proclamation pulled his comrades' eyes to the female in question, who was now standing in the center of the campsite looking very much like an enraged bull that had its sights locked on a vibrant red flag.
Boromir—who was wholly unknowing of the horrors that awaited him—was the next to comment. "Calina! We were all so worried—" But the poor man had hardly taken two steps before his sister had closed the distance between them and had one of her fingers jabbing at his chest. Boromir had hardly enough time to gulp before she began to rant at him.
"Don't you 'Calina' me!" She seethed. "I am not a child, so please refrain from treating me as such, because I do nottake kindly to you threatening our friends! Yes, thank you for caring, but I'm quite old enough to handle myself! I've wandered the Wilds long enough and can very much handle myself, so I would appreciate it if you stopped acting like a mother hen and let me handle these kinds of situations on my own!"
With a final jab to his chest, Calina stormed off, her stature entirely that of a woman on a rampage, leaving Boromir standing there in the middle of the campsite looking quite like a dog that had been kicked for no good reason.
After shaking himself out of the shock of having been hollered at, Boromir caught sight of Aragorn taking another long pull from his pipe. The man walked over to his comrade, gesturing to the pipe, "Would you mind?" He asked.
Without any hesitation, the ranger handed his pipe to Boromir, who proceeded to take in an impressive amount of smoke before returning the pipe to its owner. Upon exhaling, the man shook his head, dropping to the ground hopelessly. Boromir pinched the bridge of his nose while taking in the looks of deep sympathy he was receiving from his fellows. Such was sibling love.
.
"If I were Legolas, where would I hide?" Calina murmured after turning around the bend of another path. She'd been wandering for some time, and had no luck in finding the Prince. She would've asked for help, but her fuming rage seemed to have cleared out any other Elves who might've been around. However, her temper had long since cooled, but having no one around to ask for help left her a bit befuddled as to what to do.
She let out an indignant huff, eyebrows furrowing. "How does one even go about finding any Elf anyway? They all might as well be trees." Calina then placed one of her hands on a nearby poplar, sighing.
A curious thing then occurred. The tree did what Calina could only describe as hum. Only she felt it through her fingers. It was a gentle tremor, almost as if she was feeling the very life of the poplar. For a moment, all she could do was stare at her hand. There was absolutely nothing interesting happening physically, yet there was this feeling.
"So peculiar." She said with a pause, "'Trust the magic. It will not lead you astray'…" Calina quoted, suddenly recalling the words Lady Galadriel had said that morning. "Here goes nothing." Calina then let out a quick breath, furthering her focus, and asked a single question:
'Where is Legolas?'
Then an even more curious thing happened. Another hum appeared, but this one was different. This one was notably more complex than the tree and it was fairly close by. And somehow or other, she could sense that it was an Elf. How she knew that she couldn't rightly say, but she could just feel that it was. If she had to give it a color, it would have most certainly have been a brilliant forest green.
Calina let her hand drop away and began to follow after this hum. She was happy to discover that she could still clearly sense it despite the fact that she was no longer touching the tree. It pulled her down the paths and out of the city. She was wandering without fear, for as she knew that as long as she followed the hum, she would find who she was looking for.
Then she saw him. Legolas was sitting up in a nearby oak, his back facing the city. His figure was doused in the shadow of the branches above. From the relaxed pose he sat in, she'd bet he was sleeping.
After what seemed ages—for the closer Calina stepped, the more care she took in her footing—she reached the base of the colossal tree. Her neck craned upwards, seeing locks of blonde hair drifting out over the edge of the large branch above her.
'How should I go about waking him…' She pondered her options for a moment before an idea finally came to her. Calina then brought her hand up and carefully placed it against the bark and focused, letting her own aura flow into the tree. She then watched the Prince stir before stretching and swiftly leaping out of the grand oak, landing deftly on the ground beside her.
The instant his feet touched the ground, she let out a sunny laugh. "That worked better than I expected." She said gleefully.
The Prince had landed a few strides away. A look of surprise shot across his face upon seeing her. "Calina. How did you find me?"
"I'm not entirely sure. The trees were exceptionally helpful though."
"The trees?" He looked at her curiously, "Only those of the Woodland Realm are known to have the power to speak to the forests."
She shrugged, "Lady Galadriel cast another spell. And with it, she suggested I trust my magic, so that's what I did. And it led me here," her voice turned soft, "to you."
Her words only seemed to wound him, for his expression turned sorrowful. Calina was quick to speak and grabbed his hand, "I wanted to apologize for Boromir's behavior. It wasn't right for him to attack you."
She felt his fingers twitch in her grasp as he spoke, "He was right in his rage. I betrayed your trust, as well as that of the entire Fellowship. My actions were nothing short of disgraceful."
He began to pull away, but she quickly grabbed on to his other hand as well. "Legolas please. You were only doing what had been asked of you."
"I was a fool for having accepted the request to begin with."
"No one is perfect. We've all…" She grit her teeth, forcing her tears down as the violent memory of the massacre threatened to overtake her again, "We've all done things we regret. But you and I, we… we've had so many good moments. And I refuse to let one bad moment outweigh all of the good."
To her crushing dismay, when their eyes met, his expression did not change. If anything, it became even more crestfallen. Her chest constricted, feeling the limpness of his fingers in her hands. She could feel him slipping away even though he was standing before her.
"Please. I forgive you." Despite her words, she knew she was failing to reach him across the sea of regret he was drowning in.
A gust of wind cut between them. "You are too kind and forgiving, Calina. Now I beg you to forgive me one last time."
"What do you mean?" She asked.
He leaned forward and she froze as his lips brushed against her forehead, "Goodbye." A flurry of leaves lifted off the ground from around her, obscuring her view of the surrounding forest. The whirlwind only lasted for a few seconds, but by the time the golden leaves settled back on the ground, the Prince had vanished.
She stood petrified, hands still outstretched before her, hanging onto empty air. Another icy bolt of wind cut past and rattled the desperate panic within her to life. She whipped around, looking for any sign of Legolas or which way he may have gone. But being the Elf that he was, he left no trace of his presence.
"Legolas, wait! You can't leave! The Fellowship, we need you! I need you! Please, come back!" Her eyes scoured the forest, searching, hoping he would reappear, because she knew he could hear her. But her only answer was the breeze rustling through the leaves. And it was suffocating.
She ran over to the nearest tree, 'Where is Legolas?' She asked frantically. Calina's eyes widened at the response she received. She bolted to another poplar, asking the same question, but she only received the same sad, quiet hum of a reply. Tree after tree she went, asking them all the same thing over and over only to receive the same sad answer. Though their answers did not come out in words, she could still sense their meaning.
'He does not wish to be found.'
Calina dropped to her knees, hands draped across her face as tears began to leak between her fingers. She stayed like this until a new voice shouted out to her, "Calina!" This once silent walker became apparent in their approach, boots running across the leaves.
Haldir was quick to kneel beside her, "What happened?"
Her hands dropped to her lap, tears still freely flowing, "He's gone."
"Who has gone?"
"Legolas."
To this, Haldir swore. He rose and swiftly began to stride further into the wood, fully intent on dragging the Prince back by the tips of his pointed ears.
But a quiet voice caused him to pause. "There is no use searching. He does not wish to be found." Calina's voice crackled as she moved to stand. Her hands clutched her upper arms as she tried to keep herself from caving in. Her expression was frighteningly hollow. "This is all my fault."
"That is a lie." Haldir decreed, fuming at the idiocy of the Prince. "Whether or not Legolas can find the courage to forgive himself for his actions is something only he can decide. But you are not to blame."
"But if I hadn't joined the Fellowship, none of this would have happened."
He then strode before her, grabbing her shoulders in a stern, but gentle manner to pull her back from her sorrows. "That is reality we will never know. But worrying over such things serves no one. Regardless of what may have been, this is where we are now. All we can do is move forward. Do you understand me, Calina?" He carefully tipped her chin upwards, heavily emphasizing his next words. "Youare not to blame."
"Then why?" Her words shook. "Why does this hurt so much?"
To the surprise of them both, a new voice spoke. It passed through the air like a watery stream, riddled with wisdom as it always was. "A heart's a heavy burden. One that only the bravest dare to endure." The pair looked to see Lady Galadriel standing before them. The Elf-Witch then paused, swiftly changing topics. "Haldir is right, Calina. The path Legolas has chosen is one that he alone must conquer. As such, you should not be burdened by his decision. The Prince will find his own means of peace in time."
Calina took a deep breath and nodded, her tears subsiding to small sniffles. Galadriel carried on. "But with the loss of two of its members, the Fellowship will be at even greater risk than before. Henceforth, I am assigning Haldir to be part of your company in hopes that his addition will aid you in your journey."
To her words, the pair was both thunderstruck. However, Haldir remained controlled in suppressing surprise. The Marchwarden then bowed deeply to Galadriel, "It would be an honor. I will go to any lengths to see that the quest of the Fellowship is upheld."
She nodded to him, smiling softly. "It would already seem that your addition brings a great sense of ease to the company." Both Haldir and Galadriel then looked to Calina: her eyes were wide, but now far calmer than they had before. To their stares, she looked down, embarrassed for being caught so blatantly gawking. Galadriel let out a quiet laugh. "It is settled then. Haldir of Lórien, you are now a part of the Fellowship of the Ring."