so here is chapter 2.
thank you to all of the people who read the first chapter and liked it and a special thank you to PrettyGirlBPD13,Rina-chan1, RobinR57401,Prickly Bulbasaur, RRW, geekymom, and all of the Facebook supporters.
Chapter 2
He was reaching out to Cedric in his dream, calling him as the green light raced towards him. Just as he opened his mouth to scream he woke up with a jolt. Bucky handed him a bottle of water in silence and Harry drank it quickly.
"Sorry for waking you but you were starting to mumble…and not the good kind of sleep mumbling if you know what I mean" He said looking at Harry in concern
"It was a nightmare, I umm I get them quit often these days" Harry was looking around at the dimly lit plane "what time is it anyway?"
"We've been up for five hours. You missed dinner but the nice lady over there insisted on leaving you some dinner" Bucky nodded towards the flight attendant who was approaching them with a tray. He guessed Bucky must have pressed the call button when he handed him the water. The woman smiled as she approached him and spoke in a cheery voice.
"Hey there sweetie! Your brother told me you like meat so I saved you some chicken wrap and chips" she placed the tray in front of him "and some sugar as well to help you wake up, I hope you don't mind sir, I know kids can be a little hard to handle on sugar" the last part she addressed to Bucky who nodded and thanked her. Harry sent her a shy smile before opening the food; he was famished despite eating at the airport so he practically devoured the food.
"Want me to get you some more? You look as if you need a good meal. Not that I am surprised considering where you lived" Bucky said as he watched the wrap disappear in seconds. Harry wondered if the man would ever stop making his cheeks flare in embarrassment
"I'm fine, I always wake up hungry" he answered as he made himself slowly savor the taste of the small chocolate bar he got. Harry had to admit that ever since he went to Hogwarts he developed quit a sweet tooth.
"Is it because of the magic you use?" the question got Harry to choke on the bite he took
"What magic?" he asked as he looked at Bucky with alarm
"When you started to move your eyes, I mean as far as I could've seen with them close, were shining a bit. Nothing too attention-grabbing but it was there" Bucky explained as he opened Harry's bag of chips and started to eat them. Harry was torn between glaring at the man for stealing his food and glaring at the man for calmly taking about magic.
"Well I guess I must have triggered some accidental magic in my sleep, though my eyes never glowed before when I cast a spell" Harry grabbed the chips out of Bucky's reach in anger "and weren't you the one who said I needed more food?"
"First of all chips won't help you grow and second, you got that chocolate bar! I only got an apple because I am an 'adult'!" he said with a pout. Harry was clearly relaying on a complete idiot
"Can we talk about the magic thing first? I never saw anyone with glowing eyes in Hogwarts and I think I would have noticed it"
"Well from what I remember your eyes glowed when you turned your cousin's gummy worms into real ones. I tell you kid it was hilarious! Even I had to laugh at the squeals he made"
Harry remembered that day. He was around seven or so and it was on Halloween. Dudley and his friends were at the park putting all of their candies in a huge pile. Harry was there too, hiding from his aunt who was in an exceptionally foul mood all day. He was playing with a stray cat when Dudley saw him and made fun of him, laughing over the fact that Harry got no candies that night and that his only possible costume was that of a poor boy. Harry remembered the shame he felt as Dudley stuffed his mouth with candy while making fun at him. He was so mad that he never got to taste anything sweet before. He was angry that Dudley got it all. And suddenly Dudley yelped and dropped a handful of gummy worm on the ground, only they were no longer gummy. Harry remembers the beating he got that night with his uncle yelling at him for trying to poison his precious little Dudders. Harry got his first burn scar that night.
"You saw that?" Harry looked at Bucky as he reminded himself that he did tell him he was observed for most of his life. The man just nodded and returned to watch a movie on the little screen in front of him.
He wondered if his glowing eyes were connected to wandless magic but all he could think about was Dumbledore's ever twinkling eyes staring into his. He was starting to wonder what else was odd about him when he felt something poke his cheek. He turned around to see Bucky's finger a second before it poked his eye
"What are you doing?!" he said batting the hand away
"You looked kinda sad and it was making me feel sad and I am trying to avoid being sad cus it makes me remember bad stuff and then…"
"What? Then you cry?" Harry could not for the life of him imagine Bucky cry
"No. But I do tend to relapse and that's when I start killing people" well that Harry could easily imagine Bucky do.
"Just to be clear. I am not allowed to be sad because I am traveling with a mentally unstable super-soldier who might kill everybody in this small flying metal tube?" Harry whispered as to avoid anyone from hearing
"That pretty many summaries it" Bucky nodded. Harry looked at him disbelievingly
"You do realize that I am a depressed fifteen year old who just woke up from a dream where his friend was murdered right? I can't be held responsible for your emotions while I am trying not to crash this plane with accidental magic"
"Fourteen" was all Bucky said
"What?"
"You are fourteen not fifteen" Harry was about to hit him again "and I am not asking you anything like that kid. I can manage my emotions well enough but your face was all crunched up and it looked like you were about to cry and I can't handle crying people"
"Why? Are they crying because you killed their family?" harry snapped getting angrier at his travel partner every time he opened his mouth
"Well no, I never left witnesses" Bucky answered "it's because I don't do human interaction very well these days so my solution would be to knock you unconscious until we land" once again they descended into silence
"We should really try not being so morbid you know?" Harry said
"Well yah, you just brought up the fact that people die around you and I kinda talked about killing people. But then again these two topics are, like, 90 percent of our lives. You have dead people and I cause, caused, dead people"
"I don't have dead people, people just die around me, and it is only like 7 maybe 8 if you count tom's diary" Harry began to spiral down again
"At least you didn't kill any of them" Bucky said in a lame attempt to cheer him up
"Most of them died because of me and I did kill at least one of them" Harry said and looked horrified at the realization that he had in fact killed a man
"Oh? Wanna share?" Bucky looked concerned again but Harry couldn't shake the feeling that he was actually pitying him. He wasn't going to share anything but he also hated that look on Bucky's face
"I was 11. He was my teacher. He tried to kill me and I killed him instead" Harry spoke quickly trying to chase the images of a crumbling Quirrell out of his head but he could do nothing about the echoes of agonized screams
"So it was self-defense, it is not like you killed him in cold blood," Bucky said
"I still killed him" Harry felt miserable
"Yes you did and nothing could change that kid. Before… before HYDRA I was a soldier for the US army. A snipper amongst other things. I remember my first kill like it was yesterday. I remember the man's face just before the bullet hit and I remember his face when he was lying on the ground dead. I remember all of them, some better than others but I remember them. My point is that you will never forget it but you will learn how to live with it" Harry could feel Bucky's hand over his
"So I need to learn how to live with death?" Harry asked bitterly
"Yes, unless you want to join death" Bucky responded. Harry wanted to curse him for being so crude but he was grateful for it. No amount of sugar-coated words were going to help him anymore, no words about love or heroism would shorten the list of lives taken because of him but he would have to learn how to live on.
"How can you do it?" Harry asked "you said you are trying to redeem yourself, how are you going to do it?"
"I will try to do good for a change. But I will need help. I can't just stop being the winter soldier but I am trying to also be Bucky again. I can't tell you exactly how I will do it because I don't even know how" Harry finally looked up at Bucky who was now looking at the black screen "All I know is that I need to try kid"
"I'll help you" Harry said
"You already are" Bucky smiled slightly
"Not as a living shield. I want to truly help you so I might find a way to help myself too" Harry had no idea how these words exited his mouth, no idea why he said them, but he knew in his hearth that he meant them all. Choosing to follow Bucky meant that he would have to change how he dealt with the cards that were handed to him. Harry knew he wasn't ready, far from that. He was just a really messed up kid that needed help, maybe he was finally headed to a place, to people, that would provide the help he needed.
For once Harry wasn't questioning his choice. For once Harry allowed himself to have hope. He just had to pray that the universe was going to play fair for once