So, you know how I usually say I'm going to update in some way and end up doing something completely different? Yeah, I'm annoyed with myself as well lol.
EDITED: So, as you may know, I was supposed to finish both chapter 18 and 19 and publish them at the same time. While chapter 19 is finished and beign published in the next few minutes, there is something I'm doubting about this chapter, which is why its conclusion will be published along with chapter 20. I will go into detail about this in the AN after the chapter, so please read and feel free to write me your thoughts through review or PM! Cheers!
Chapters 18 and 19 are easily my favourite so far so I hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing!
WARNING: Spoilers for "The Magician's Nephew"! Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled!
(Possible) TRIGGER WARNING: There are depictions of slavery and murder in this chapter. While I have written without going into detail, those are scenes to be avoided if they are triggering to you. Proceed with caution.
This is obviously a fanfic. I don't own it.
Thank you so much for reading! Please fav, follow and review! Stay tuned for it's going to be a wild ride!
Chapter 18. Part I. "Cold-Blooded."
"Everybody knows the fight was fixed/ The poor stay poor, the rich get rich / That's how it goes /Everybody knows." - Everybody Knows, Sigrid.
That day, the forest was as peaceful as ever.
The creatures that had taken residence there, usually so boisterous and lively as they went around following their daily activities, were nowhere to be seen. Nothing, not the unmoving cold weather, or the lack of predators could be taken as signs as to why everything was silent.
Nothing, except for a lone figure slowly making her way through the tall, ancient trees. Her steps were completely soundless, her figure so gracile she hardly could be taken to be human, her shoulders tense and alert. She had no weapons and there was nothing of her features that spoke of danger, but there was a sort of reverence, there was something in the way she moved, that imposed respect. And respect, she had.
Her long hair, raven as the darkest of nights, fell down her back in a braid, lightly hitting her shoulders as she walked. She had no weapons, but she wore a silver chainmail, a blue shirt peeking from under her armour. Her skin, usually sickly pale, had grown to wear the slight flush of someone who spent a lot of time outside.
The calm around her was eerie. It was a tense silence. It seemed as if the whole world was hanging from a thread, expecting an incoming attack.
It was a silence that had progressed slowly, one whose speed had increased as it approached the moment of truth.
As sudden as it had begun, the silence had to end.
She turned sharply as she caught the breaking of some twigs and lifted her hands just as the culprit jumped down from a nearby tree to attack her. As if obeying her every command, the roots of that same tree lifted themselves from the ground, rendering the enemy immobile.
She didn't even have time to straighten before a sudden change in the wind made her turn sharply yet still, she managed to stop the arrow flying towards her. Immediately after, she froze the shooter as well and, after throwing him aside, she bound them with roots as well.
The last one, she didn't see them coming until they were almost too close. She did feel the steel coming towards her, though, and turned swiftly to catch the sword with her iron vambrace. Throwing it aside, she punched the attacker with force, grabbing the sword for herself as the attacker fell to the ground with a grunt.
A cascade of red hair spread out as the attacker removed her helmet. Cradling her jaw, she looked up at the sword, and then at the sorceress. Then, she laughed merrily, her sapphire eyes sparkling.
"Nice," the redhead smirked as she leaned back, her figure resting on her elbows. "The punch to the jaw was a nice touch."
The sorceress smirked as well. "What can I say? I knew you would appreciate an unexpected offense."
Behind them, the first attacker groaned. "Yes yes, Amirah is a very powerful sorceress. Can any of you get me out of her now? My leg is cramping."
"Serves you well, Jonah," the redhead scoffed as she took Amirah's offered hand. "How did you decide to jump from a tree? Seriously, how has no one taught you better?"
"Hilarious, Victoria," Jonah replied with a snark. "Try to do two things at once and free me while you continue teasing me, what do you think?"
"Right now? I'm tempted to leave you here until nightfall."
Amirah rolled her eyes as Victoria knelt before Jonah and retrieved her dagger. Then, she lifted her hands and unfroze the remaining attacker, freeing him immediately after. "Are you alright, Seth?"
Seth merely groaned as he straightened his long limbs. "I hate you."
"I'm pretty sure that's a capital crime," Jonah quipped as he stood up with Victoria's help. "Hating the Princess of Charn."
Amirah scoffed as she helped Seth to his feet. "Maybe Jadis. In any case, you are my friends so you are allowed to hate me if you want to."
"Good to know," Victoria replied with a smile. Then, she nodded at Amirah. "You are improving, my friend. Your sister will be happy to know that."
"She will be happy to know I'm not wasting my time," Amirah replied drily. "It's not as if she particularly cared."
"Ah, but you're her heir. At least until she's with child." Seth commented before chuckling. "So you are not allowed to disappoint."
"I swear I will take your horse and make you walk to the castle."
"We need to remember our goal," Jonah quipped as he slowly retreated from Victoria's hold, his limbs regaining feeling after being still for so long. "One more year and we will be free to do whatever we want. My father still claims that he will let me travel the world once I'm done with my studies and I intend to make him keep his promise."
"If only it could be that easy," Victoria sighed. "I only have to repel any suitors until I'm of age and free to do whatever I want."
Seth cracked a smirk, he too was walking on his own besides Amirah. "Which is girls."
"Don't be gross," Victoria admonished with a roll of eyes, yet she couldn't help but crack a smile. "But yes."
Amirah clasped Victoria's back as a sign of solidarity. Victoria was the younger one of that particular foursome - if age mattered anything in a group composed of half-giants - yet she was a force to be reckoned with. Regardless of their much different backgrounds and responsibilities, Victoria and Amirah shared a love for curiosity, one that had led them to question many of long-with-standing traditions in Charn, eventually rejecting them. Not for the first time, she couldn't help but wish she was the heir to the throne of Charn and therefore, able to grant Victoria the free life she deserved.
"One more year, and my sister will have to marry." Amirah mused softly as they reached their horses, which had been left close to the edge of the forest as the four liked to walk through the green landscape. "My father established it before he died. Once she does, I will no longer be heir. I will be free."
"And as the army's general, you will take me with you." Seth reminded the princess with a glint in his black eyes. "After all, a princess can't do as she pleases without a bodyguard."
In any other moment, Amirah would have punched him. However, as she looked at each of her friends, she couldn't help but smile. Fiery, brave Victoria. Intelligent, thoughtful Jonah. Cunning, sardonic Seth.
In a place as harsh as Charn was, Amirah was truly lucky to have found a family in them.
"That's right," Amirah replied. "And once we're free, we will travel around the world and never look back."
By then, they were slowly heading towards the castle. The path usually darkened by the proximity to the coldness and hatred encased behind those walls, it was now alight with hope as their plans seemed to gain strength. The year they still had before them seemed longer than ever but at the same time, the promise of the long awaited freedom seemed to shine brighter than any possible concern.
It was just around the corner. Their freedom, their happiness, the rest of their blessed lives.
Just. One. Year.
"We should head towards the shore," Seth suddenly spoke. "Rumours say the weather is almost warm there."
"I doubt that," Jonah shook his head from the other extreme of the group. "The sun is the same here and there. I don't think there's any place warm in Charn."
"Then we go to the shore, we get on a boat and we sail towards Felinda or even Sorlis," Victoria argued. "There has to be a place in which there's actual warmth."
Amirah looked up, frowning at the large, auburn sun and the dark blue sky. She knew of the rumours of the studies the priests had done and the records they kept, all of them only shared to Empress Jadis.
As usual, her green eyes drifted towards the iron gates of the castle, home to the Royal Family of Narnia. As if it were a monster with large jaws, its open gates seemed to be swallowing her and her friends, forever surrendering them in a void of darkness.
"Anything is better than this," Amirah said somberly before urging her horse forward and, with her head straight, crossed the large gates as if ready to face her destiny.
The crowd received her in the usual manner. They did not know much of her, for the younger sibling is usually left on their own devices while the heir learns to be in charge of all responsibilities related to the crown. Still, they knew who she was. Even though her eyes weren't the usual black and she wore no crown, her dark hair and her clothes were all clothes of her role in society and what's more, they all related her to her sister. So, they did not know her but they knew the Empress. That was enough to fear the princess as well.
As Amirah got down from her horse and handed it to her squire, her friends behind her, a group of priests walked down the ivory stairs and headed towards her.
"Princess Amirah," the head of the priests greeted with a soft, gentle voice as he bowed down his head. "Empress Jadis requests your presence in the Hall of Images?"
"The Hall of Images?" Amirah questioned with a frown. Her sister hardly left the Throne Room. "What is it about?"
The priest eyed Victoria as she crossed her arms and Seth as he stood right behind Amirah's shoulder before regarding the Princess. "Follow me, Your Highness. Please."
oOo
Amirah stared at one of the statues by the front of the room, one of the monarchs from the Golden Days, when Charn was a beacon of prosperity and happiness.
The regal female sat on a stone throne, her long hair cascading down her shoulders. Her posture was intimidating, something the Royal Family seemed to have inherited. Her slender arms rested on the armrests of her throne, a big ring adorning her right hand.
Amirah's gaze flickered towards her own right hand, which was now wearing an identical ring.
"Are you sure?" Amirah questioned again, her eyes never leaving her ring.
Behind her, the soothing voice of the priest seemed to be carried like a gentle breeze. "The stars on the day you were born were enough proof, Your Highness. Your father, the late King, was the one who decided to tell you once you were ready."
"The High Priestess," Amirah voiced her title out loud, almost too shocked to come to terms with it. She turned towards the priest with a frown. "How is it that now I'm ready? What does that mean for me and for Charn?"
"That's just it, sister. Your role as High Priestess means that you are a connection between our world and the others. The High Priestess have passed down from generation to generation, and they have all been paramount in the supremacy of our Empire. While they have not always belonged to the Royal Family, they descend from Empress Alexia, First Empress of Charn."
Amirah turned towards Jadis slowly, knowing to gauge her mood before reacting. The Empress of Charn sat on an empty throne by the end of the room, next to the statue of their father.
Amirah took a second to appraise her older sister, yet again surprised at how similar, yet different were they to one another. Jadis had always been fond of the cold weather, usually wearing wool dresses that left her arms bare. Her long hair, raven like her sister's, fell down her back in smooth tresses, while an iron black crown rested on top of her head.
"A connection between this world and the others?" Amirah asked, straightening when Jadis glared at her menacingly. "Empress Jadis?"
Jadis regarded silently for a moment. Then, she stood up, ignoring the priest as he visibly cowered onto a corner. She walked down the hall, between the statues of her ancestors, of the Emperors and Empresses of Charn who had seen better days than she or Amirah had. Finally, she stood beside Amirah, and turned towards the statue of Empress Alexia. "How do you think Charn has managed to survive for as long as we have? For sure, our bloodlines have allowed us to withstand the pass of time, allowing us to live for hundreds of years. But, sister, there is a matter of resources, of the measures we as leaders must take in order to prosper. If it wasn't for the High Priestess, we would have never been able to survive."
Amirah eyed the priest carefully. She wanted to ask so many questions, for there was so much she did not know. She needed to understand what her new role meant for her personal life, she needed to understand what she needed to do and who she should be loyal to. There was a question of balance, of making sure that her role didn't harm her, nor anybody else.
Still, she knew that if she asked anybody but her sister, she would have to face severe consequences. In any case, there was a certain comfort in Jadis' character, in the way that she had always been as cruel and manipulative as she was right then. Amirah had learned how to read her sister a long time ago, and that's what had allowed her to survive.
However, this wasn't a run-of-the-mill war council or diplomatic affair. This was bigger than anything Amirah had encountered during the course of her long life. She had a scarce understanding of what was now her fate, yet she knew that this was beyond any capabilities she had of following her sister's demands while also doing what she thought was right.
But if she voiced any of her thoughts before anybody but Jadis, if she caused any of her sister's subjects to doubt her plans, she knew she wouldn't live to see the outcome.
So, she nodded and bowed her head to her sister. "I understand, sister. I shall begin my training then."
Jadis nodded in return. "Come to see me after dinner, sister. We will talk some more then. You are dismissed."
oOo
It was hard, but Amirah managed to avoid all of her friends.
She spent the remainder of the day in her private library, pouring over countless books, reading closely for any information on the High Priestesses of Charn.
Since a young age, Amirah had realized that books were usually the ones that held the unmodified truth on all things. After all, she had been raised within a court and even more, she had been born Princess of Charn. She had seen how her father and later her sister were continuously harassed by greedy nobles or members of the Royal Army. She had seen all of it, a silent witness amongst the surge of adulation her family was showered with, and she had learned. She had learned how to use her superior mind against her enemies, she had learned to read between their sweet words but - most importantly -, she had learned not to trust any of them.
Not the nobles, not the warriors. Not the servants nor the maids. Not her sister. Not even her father.
She could only trust books.
So, she read obsessively, thirsty for knowledge. She read and she learned.
She learned about the Wood Between the Worlds, a place that could only be accessed by chosen individuals. This place, the personification of lethargic peace, was the keeper of portals that led to every world in existence. This limbo, this Wood Between the Worlds, it was the High Priestess' domain.
Now her domain.
Before too long, her mind began to pound with the tremendous amount of knowledge she had forcefully registered, yet she couldn't stop. The tales, about her role, about the past High Priestesses, were too captivating to be put down. It almost felt as if those stories were part of her own past, as if those stories told things she'd been through so long ago, even maybe in another lifetime, and that were now distant memories on the edge of oblivion.
By the time she found her sister by the Throne Room, long after most of the castle had fallen asleep, Amirah was overwhelmed.
She still hadn't changed out of her morning outfit, so her leather boots rhythmically hit against the hard floor and her silver armour glimmered as the light of the torches set by each side of the corridors reflected against the steel. As she reached the last part of the journey, she hastily tied her hair into a high ponytail. Then, she was before the doors, and it was time to speak to Jadis.
"I almost thought you wouldn't come, sister." Jadis spoke from her throne. It was one of the things Amirah admired the most about her, how she managed to terrify everyone without even yelling. "What kept you so long?"
"I apologize, sister." Now that they were on their own, Amirah could afford to be slightly less formal. She strutted towards the throne and bowed a few feet before Jadis. "I was gathering information."
"I don't know what other information you could need," Jadis mused almost wistfully. "Other than the one I have to share, of course."
Amirah smiled graciously. "Of course. However, I wanted to relieve you from the annoyance of having to explain the most basic things."
Jadis studied her sister silently, staring right into her eyes. Amirah wanted to avert her gaze but forced herself not to, instead straightening her stance.
Finally, Jadis was the one to break the silence. She raised a pale, slender arm and pointed at the seat of her head counselor. "Please, take a seat."
"I think I understand my role as High Priestess quite well," Amirah admitted as she followed her sister's command. "But I don't understand how it connects? How does helping Charn prosper connect to me being a connection between this world and the others?"
Jadis cocked her head gracefully. "I assume you have read about the Wood Between the Worlds?"
Amirah tensed. "I have."
"Follow me, sister." Jadis requested as she stood from her throne and walked, almost floated over to the balcony behind them. Amirah hesitated but quickly realized she didn't really have a choice and with a sigh, she stood beside the Empress, the entire city of Charn laid out before them.
"Why am I ready now?" Amirah asked quietly. That question seemed to be the most pressing, the one that would enlighten her on why now, what was so different, so endangered that she needed to train herself in order to assume her new role. "What is different?"
Jadis' expression never changed. "Have you taken a look at the sun?"
Amirah stiffened. With those words, she was taken back to that same morning, when she had looked up at the sky and dreamed of a brighter place. That morning, she had been riddled with pressures and responsibilities, yes, but she still carried the hope that one day, she would be free to lead her life however she chose to.
Now, well, it was safe to say that hope had crumbled into dust and was now flying away with the wind.
"It hasn't changed," Amirah replied. Right now, the sky was completely dark and the only light they had was the one the lit Throne Room casted onto the landscape before them. Still, she looked up into the void. "Not throughout my lifetime, at least."
"That's correct. However, it was once smaller, warmer, brighter." Jadis explained. Her hands were clasped before her, resting on the stone banister. Amirah looked up at her sister, and couldn't help but be in awe, yet again, of the inherent calmness in everything her sister did.
Her sister was probably the most terrifying creature she had come to know but there was this peace in everything she did, a peace reminiscent of someone comfortable with the power they held and one who knew they had the last say in anything. Amirah had always thought there was a certain freedom in such a behaviour, in being able to do anything and know no one would stand in the way.
Amirah had always lived in her sister's shadow but, if she was being honest, she had never cared. She had never wanted to be Queen or to be kept in some stuffy castle, forced to listen and talk to subjects she despised. She had never envied Jadis for getting the power, for power had never been an enticing thing for her.
What she envied was the freedom Jadis had. Like her, Jadis was also prisoner to her own pressures and responsibilities but, unlike her, she was free to make her own choices and she had carved her own path in the world, so successfully that no one was brave enough to oppose her.
Amirah often wondered what it would be like. Be the one who called the shots, instead of the one who had to bow down to what the others needed or wanted.
"The priests believe it is a sign that this world is coming to its end," Jadis continued. Her tone, even as she referred to the world's ending, was as detached as ever. "They have recorded every shift, every abnormality in the elements since the beginning of time. It was during the reign of our father that they reached the conclusion of this world's demise."
Amirah blanched momentarily. How could her sister speak so plainly about their eradication? "Is there a way to stop it?"
For the first time, Jadis's eyes flashed dangerously and she spoke, her voice was clipped. "Why would we stop it? Our world is running out of resources. You must have sensed it as well during your trips to the forest. All the elements, everything we need to survive, it is all decaying. Why would we try to save something that is no longer of use to us?"
Jadis turned to her sister, her gaze challenging her to question her but Amirah was having none of it. This was no small matter, this decision deserved to be challenged, so Amirah returned her sister's glare with passion and bravado. "I sure hope you have a plan sister, because I will not sit back while you let your people die."
To her surprise, Jadis smiled. It was a horrific and beautiful smile, one that chilled her to the bone, but a smile nonetheless. "You have always been too smart for your own good, sister. I have a plan, of course I do. And I need you for it."
Amirah's mind drifted back towards the Wood Between the Worlds, her domain. She remembered a book that had spoken of her, the High Priestess, as the Keeper of the Worlds.
The Keeper of the Worlds.
"You need me to access the Wood Between the Worlds," Amirah widened her eyes in trepidation. Her rejection of her sister's plan was instant but she needed to think before speaking against it. She couldn't just refuse her superior, not if she actually wanted to stop her. "You want to invade the other worlds."
"Our race has always been superior. Our bloodline has granted us the closest thing we know to immortality and, while the most powerful sorceresses are bred within the Royal Family, Charn is the only country in which magic is known to its habitants." Jadis spoke softly, as if she were on her own. She wasn't even looking directly at Amirah, yet she knew she was being observed closely. "We have no timeline on the world's ending, but we need to begin our preparations immediately. We need to carry our culture onto neighboring countries. Felinda. Sorlis. And in exchange, they will grant us with their armies. By the time we are ready to leave for another world, we will have the greatest army in history."
"Sister, I- this is too much," Amirah shook her head. She unconsciously took a step back, her hands brightening slightly with a surge of magic just in case Jadis decided to attack. "What you're speaking of, that is invasion. We can't just feel entitled enough to erase countless cultures, let alone kill innocents!"
Jadis never turned from the city before her. "You have never mattered, Amirah. You have always been forced to stand behind while I assumed the Throne. Until now. You are the High Priestess of Charn, which means you and you alone can provide us with a way to survive."
"As if you resented me, as if you wanted me to have any sort of power," Amirah scoffed indignantly. "You've always wanted to be Empress, you've always wanted all the power to yourself. Don't speak as if I've disappointed you."
"I will still have the power. I'm Empress, I hold the Throne of Charn in my possession," Jadis admitted easily. Then, the Empress of Charn turned towards its heir. "However, as High Priestess, you are bound to become a powerful sorceress, maybe even more powerful than me. You can accept your fate, become my second-in-command and help me enlarge our Empire. Or you can fall into oblivion with all the others who were foolish enough to think survival is for anyone else but those strong enough to pursue it. The choice is yours, sister."
oOo
After that, she didn't know where to go.
It felt as if every cell in her body was pulling her in a different direction.
Her life, so very simple that very same morning, had acquired so many different angles, so many different paths for her to take, for her to consider.
Her life travelling, her freedom, it was suddenly nothing but a hazy dream, long sepulted by the very nightmares that were plaguing her mind. The reality, of who she was, of what she was, had taken a lead role, unavoidable even by the sneakiest of minds.
And who she was, that was someone that could not coexist with who she wanted to be.
Who she wanted to be was someone who had nothing to do with Charn. Who she was, well, that was someone whose destiny was intrinsically intertwined with Charn.
She could barely see her surroundings. In the chaos that was her mind, anything but her current circumstances were next to invincible to her. She only knew that she was moving, somewhere, anywhere, her destination completely obscured as she walked in the dark.
More than anything though, Amirah felt like breaking something. She wanted to cause havoc, the utter chaos that she was in that moment. She wanted to feel some relief, as if conducting the chaos she felt in her interior to the exterior would relieve some of her burden.
She wanted to burn everything to the ground. That place, the memories that haunted her from her cold, heartless childhood, she wanted everything to go away. She wanted to stand alone in the dark because, even if she had nothing else, it would still mean all those things would disappear as well.
Amirah walked, and the things her sister said plagued her mind, so loud, so overwhelming that they almost shone with their very own blinding, harsh light. She had never minded staying in her sister's shadow, she welcomed it even but she couldn't deny that Jadis' taunting was hurtful and took away some of her pride.
All these years, Amirah had thought of herself as better than everyone else in that place. She had been able to see beyond the thirst for power, the hunger for control, the superiority complex everyone else seemed to have. Herself, and her friends, they had been able to see a possibility in which all of those things were distant, as if they were a dream of a dream.
And all of this time, she had been deluded. All she had done was dream. All she had done was imagine a possibility. In the end, she was nothing but a caged bird, hopeless, weak to the reality of her circumstances. She had always pitied her sister for the power she craved but Jadis hadn't just craved - she had it. She had Charn, she had the people, and she had Amirah.
So, in the end, what could she do? What could Amirah do but follow her destiny? What could she do, when had always been powerless to the agenda of those more powerful than her?
Gods, how she wanted to burn everything to the ground. She wanted everything to disappear, so she would once again be in the dark in the matters of her reality, the reality she was at last forced to face.
She wanted to be in the dark too. Everything about her. Her mind, her feelings, her thoughts, her memory. She wanted to be in the dark.
She knew better than that, though. She knew that if she burned, Jadis would know. She knew that whatever chaos she wanted to relieve herself of, she couldn't do it without facing Jadis' rage. She had to be quiet about it, she had to be as nonexistent as she had always been.
And that made her want to burn even more.
"Amirah?"
Just like that, there was a glimmer of light in her tunneled, pitch black vision.
Victoria was the one to kneel before her but Amirah could feel the rest of her friends behind her. "Amirah, what is it? What happened?"
Amirah looked around herself, for the first time noticing where she was.
The garden of the Gods was the one place she wouldn't risk being heard, for it was the most sacred of places, out of Jadis' grasp even. The statues there, representing all their deities - for even Charn wasn't out of grasp of a higher power - were in the same places they had always been, almost completely covered by vines as they guarded that place in reverent silence. The cobblestones, harsh yet reassuring in some way, were covered in vines and dust, speaking of how abandoned that place had become. The night, dark yet silver wherever the moon reached, was as still and motionless as ever. Not serene, for nothing was serene in Charn, but quiet. Almost as if holding its breath. Almost as if waiting for something to happen.
It was as if, all at once, her senses returned to her in the most overpowering of manners. She looked down at herself almost in a daze, noticing how her armour - which she has been wearing all day - was weighing her down, almost slumping her against the rocks she had been resting. Her long braided hair, so smooth that morning, fell around her in messy waves, mostly loose from its tie and tangled after the hectic day she'd had. Her lap was splattered with red drops so slowly, Amirah rose her hands towards her face, hissing and letting drop almost immediately onto her lap, now both of them covered in red as well.
Amirah looked up with a frown, confused as to what had happened. How had she been so much in the dark?
"Victoria?" Amirah called slowly, her voice still holding a distracted note. "I...I don't know how I got here."
That seemed to unnerve her friend even more. Victoria reached to grasp Amirah's shoulders tightly, her eyes wide as her crimson curls fell around her face in the most enticing of ways. "What happened? What did she do to you?"
Amirah was almost surprised by the accusation. Her frown deepened as her eyes darted from Victoria to Jonah and Seth, who stood behind the redhead wearing identical positions of distress. Why did they assume Jadis was at fault? In truth, this was one thing she couldn't be blamed for. This was her destiny, not her sister. This, what was burdening her, was the recognition that she couldn't avoid what her fate had always been, not the sister that had always protagonized her nightmares and deepest fears.
If anything, her sister was as bound to their fate as she was.
Why couldn't they see that?
Amirah opened her mouth to speak. She needed to explain, she needed them to understand, she needed them to be her rock, like they'd always been. It was as if now that her delusions, her false, childish hopes were destroyed without hope, her entire being was unhinged, overcome with the helplessness of not knowing how to continue.
The ground she stepped on, the hope that tethered her to the ground, had been swept off her feet and now, now she did not know what to do.
Well, she did. She just...she needed the faith, the hope she'd had before, when her life had been so much simpler. She needed something to hold onto.
Unconsciously, Amirah raised a hand and swept it through her hair, trying without success to clear some of the knots that had formed there. Victoria followed her move with concern, and widened her eyes as she noticed the ring with the large white stone Amirah hadn't been wearing that morning.
Victoria cradled Amirah's hand, tenderly yet almost fearfully. "Imposible."
Seth took a step forward, his expression as serious as it had ever been. "What is it?"
Jonah knelt besides Victoria, his eyes wide with reverence. "The High Priestess. How?"
"I've been wondering the same thing." Amirah coughed, her voice so rough after staying silent for so long. She gently retrieved her hand back and crossed her arms before her chest. "There's no way to go around it. I'm the High Priestess and my duty is to help Charn."
Victoria frowned. "How?"
Amirah levelled her with a gaze. Slowly, she was recovering herself, everything within her managing to function again and bring her back to life. "You know how. The High Priestess has always been under the command of the Empress of Charn. I cannot hope to escape my duties."
"I have read about the High Priestess," Jonah spoke, his voice so sudden, almost as if he hadn't meant to speak up. "The Woods Between the Worlds. That 's her domain. Right?"
"That's what she wants," Victoria retorted before Amirah could. "She wants to be in control of the other worlds! She's always wanted as much power as she could obtain and she needs you to get it!"
Amirah wanted to shake her head, she wanted to stop the conversation, she wanted to flee and never come back. She didn't need that, she didn't need her friends being as angry as she was, she needed for a solution she needed for some way she could ignore everything that had fallen onto her, she needed...gods she needed everything to stay still she needed to go back to the dark.
She had always thought she was a fighter. She had always thought that by daring to dream of a life different from the one she had, she was fighting against all of those who were holding back.
Now, she knew better.
Now, Amirah knew she had just been imagining a story, one that had a brighter ending than the one she was sure to have.
She couldn't fight. Of course she couldn't. Against her sister? Against the identity thrusted upon her? Against all of Charn, all of Jadis's subjects and loyal soldiers? How could she hope to do anything but make herself as small as possible and hope to see the end of the nightmare soon?
She didn't want her friends to fight either. They would never survive if they did. She needed them to stay with her and protect themselves for they were the only thing she had left.
Victoria. She needed her to shut up and hold her while she waited for the worst.
So, she looked up and glared at Victoria with force. "This is my duty now. I need to back my sister and fulfill my responsibilities as High Priestess."
"Amirah, your duties are to Charn, not to Jadis." Victoria scoffed, shaking her head vehemently.
Amirah raised her eyebrows with distaste. "Aren't they the same thing? My sister sure makes it look like it."
She was distantly aware that Jonah and Seth were still there, witnessing the argument with trepidation but she couldn't focus on them. Amirah could only focus on Victoria because if she couldn't make her understand that she needed her safe in order to survive, then there was no hope.
Victoria heightened her voice in outrage. "Don't you think it shouldn't be like that?"
"And what would you have me do? I'm not the Queen. I don't have the power to change the world. I can't just overrule my sister." Amirah retorted, her voice for a second letting out the despair she was feeling. Victoria frowned, having caught that change in Amirah's voice but before she could process it, Amirah continued. "I thought I could escape it and I'm a fool for it. There has never been another path for me. Whatever she wants, she gets. You know that. We can't fight, we can't lose to her. Please, I can't lose you to her."
Victoria gulped but her determination was still present. She straightened like the warrior she had always been. "You don't have to overrule it but there comes a time in which that excuse has to stop being of use."
Amirah straightened as well, the outrage she felt at having her pride so wounded causing for the fire within her to recover force. Her voice was made of steel, though, frighteningly reminiscent of her sister. "How did you figure out I'm making excuses for myself?"
Jonah intervened then, his voice gentle. "Amirah, then tell me this. If your sister does something that goes against the people's safety or happiness, what will you do?"
Amirah shook her head violently. She couldn't even fear that. She couldn't think of them. It was already so complicated. She was already so bound, so restricted. She couldn't even consider it. "Do you think she would be able to do it?"
Victoria's voice was hard. "She has not once mentioned her people. She has only spoken of the power she will have. Amirah, if Jadis endangers all of us, who will you side with?"
Amirah looked at her with anguish as she understood what she had been trying to ignore ever since she heard of her fate.
Her friends, they would never understand. They weren't bound the way she was. They weren't forced to some fate. They were free to choose their own paths. Victoria was still free to escape the rules that commanded her to marry. Jonah was still free to travel the world. Seth was still free to quit his duties in Charn and leave for a brighter life.
They were free to choose. They were free to fight.
And if they stayed with her, they would die. She knew that.
And she wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
"I'm choosing life. You would have to be a proud idiot to choose otherwise. You better leave here before she finds out about your treacherous thoughts."
Slowly, she stood, ignoring the look on Victoria's face as she sat on the ground. She ignored Jonah's look as he stood as well. She ignored Seth as he tried to reach for her when she walked past him. She ignored the silence, which she had been craving for so long yet felt more daunting than what she had thought.
She ignored it all as she walked away from the one home she had ever known.
At last, she was sure of her destiny.
Her path, it was only one. At the end, the image was clear.
It was an image that she hated, but one she could find comfort in for she didn't have to fight anymore. She could rest and follow.
She had always thought her destiny was to save herself.
Now, she knew better. Her destiny was to be at her sister's command.
Her destiny was to burn the world to the ground.
oOo
The next three years went by in a blur.
That night, in a way, had been the closure she needed. Losing everything she had ever hoped for, the family it had taken so long to get, it was what she needed in order to face her new challenge head on.
She was a dreamer. Secretly, deep down. But, she couldn't deny her reality any more. As High Priestess, she was a subject to her Empress first, and someone with their own needs second.
And there was so much to consider. Her family, her friends, her people. They were all in danger of her sister, they always would be because that's who Jadis was in the story. She wasn't even a villian, for that would mean she still had something to earn, it would mean Jadis hadn't won yet.
It was never even about a battle. Jadis had always had what she wanted.
And if Amirah's people, if Amirah's loved ones were to survive Jadis's reign, then she needed to do whatever it took.
Leaving her every hope to follow her sister's command? Amirah would do it in a heartbeat if it meant saving Victoria.
That night was the last time Amirah spoke to them. She was already inside her quarters, getting ready to begin her training the following day when word reached her of the escape of three members of the court.
It took her a long time to assure Jadis that she didn't intend to follow her friends. She swore time and time again that her loyalty was with her Empress and with her country. The stakes were now different and she would do anything to fulfill her duty to Empress and Country.
It took her less effort to convince Jadis not to persecute them. In a way, Amirah supposed she could understand her sister's logic and, more than that, she supposed she could be grateful. If she didn't find them, then they wouldn't be endangered. If they weren't endangered, then Amirah wouldn't have to choose. If she didn't have to choose, she wouldn't watch everything fall into chaos.
And that was it. Her friends were gone, reduced to mere memories of a brighter past.
And, before too long, so was she.
Two months after she learned of her destiny, after her friends disappeared, after she was caged, Amirah was summoned to the Throne Room.
Jadis's wish was for her to understand and control her powers. She was to leave the castle and move to a secluded house that belonged to the Royal Family of Charn. The house, though cozy in comparison to their grand castle, would be comfortable enough for the High Priestess until she was ready to serve her country.
Amirah was relieved. Of course she was, how couldn't she be? She was being granted the opportunity to disappear, at least temporarily. She would be away from her sister, away from the environment she so hated and maybe, just maybe she would be granted the opportunity to forget this was her reality now.
She wouldn't forget entirely. Of course not. After all, the ghosts would always be there, following her, crepting on her whenever she least expected them. The ghosts of her friends, the ghosts of the golden days in which she would plan her freedom, she would always dance with them. She would always dance with them, and they would break her everytime she had to come back to the real world.
Away from the castle, she would be able to dance with them to her heart's content. And if her ghosts were the only thing she had left of her previous life, then so be it. They would have to be enough.
So, she agreed to leave and thanked Jadis for the order. She packed her bags and took a last visit to the quarters herself and her friends used to lounge in. She let herself revel for the last time in the flashbacks those places brought her and promised herself to never think of them again. She would think of the memories she had of their days riding through the forests, where they were able to be themselves.
She would never think of this castle again.
That night, two months after three former members of the court fled the castle, so did the High Priestess of Charn.
And unlike the former three, she didn't once look back.
She wanted that haunted place behind her, once and for all.
oOo
Three years made her one of the most powerful sorceresses Charn had ever seen, maybe second only to the Empress herself.
Soon enough, Amirah realized a sorceress could channel her emotions into the intensity and accuracy of her powers. She could choose which emotion and work on it, in order for it to serve as a fuel for her power.
She chose anger.
Once she did, it was impossible to hold her back. After all, what didn't she have to be angry about? She was alone, more alone than she had ever been. Her friends could be dead for all she knew. Her dreams of freedom were long shattered, and now, she had been reduced to being a puppet, her sister serving as the puppetmaster.
So, she focused on her powers and on her memories. During the days, she trained outside, fighting invisible enemies as she willed the elements around to her control. She learned how to cause earthquakes, she learned how to use enough power to make it look as if the sky was falling down. She trained, and trained, and trained, and her anger grew with her power.
During the nights she wandered. Through the forests, through the house, through her memories. She dreamed of Seth and how she would be laughing with him. She dreamed of Jonah and the sweet soul he had. She dreamed of Victoria, and all the things she wanted to say to her.
She dreamed of them, and her heart lightened even for a moment, only to grow heavier once dawn broke and it was time to train again.
It was a blur. One that went by fast. One that seemed repetitive, so much that Amirah felt about to lose her mind, if she hadn't yet.
One that ended abruptly, as all things did.
It was during one of those sleepless nights that she was alerted by a hushed clamor right by the edge of the woods surrounding her property.
Feeling a sense of determination she hadn't felt in a long time, Amirah grabbed her metal vambraces and ran quietly towards the door, intending to take a peek at the intruders before deciding on a course of action.
Once she arrived, the shock could not be grander.
Two girls, barely old enough to be wearing armour, were holding each other up as they limped towards the house. Deep gashes were staining the sleeves of their undershirts with crimson red, and their long manes fell in a haphazard manner around their faces as they visibly contorted in pain.
Slowly, Amirah opened the door to her house, lifting her hands up in a defensive manner when both girls tried to straighten in alert. "It 's okay. You're safe here."
Neither relaxed. The brunette of the duo actually seemed to grow even more tense. "We know who inhabites this woods. We know this is the domain of the High Priestess. Who do you serve?"
Amirah slowly climbed down the steps of her entrance, her eyes never leaving the brunette's as she kept her hands up. Pretending she wasn't who she was didn't bother her. If anything, she welcomed the temporary escape. "I serve the people of Charn. I do not stand with the Empress. You are safe here."
At that, the girls seem to relax slightly. The blonde one fell to her knees, gasping as she clutched her stomach with a trembling hand, blood continuing to spill from her injuries. The brunette gasped for air for a few seconds, exhausted beyond words, before nodding weakly in her comrade's direction. "My name is Feyre and this is Hylda. We are members of the Revolutionary Army. Could we come in?"
Amirah forced herself not to show surprise at Feyre's words. Revolution? Were the people actually fighting Jadis? How long had this been going? How was it that she hadn't learned of this?
Before she could acknowledge the knot of hope growing in her stomach, Amirah rushed forward and helped Hylda inside while Feyre stumbled behind them. What did these two injured girls mean? Were they winning? Or was the cause to be a failure before Amirah could think of doing anything about it?
"Bring me the herbs over there," Amirah ordered as she carefully laid Hylda on top of her kitchen table. She helped the young girl to remove her armour and, with extreme care, she peeled the blood-soaked shirt from the injuries.
"You are a Sorceress, then?" Feyre asked as she made it back to the duo. Amirah nodded her thanks and instructed her to sit on the table besides her friend.
"There are other Sorceresses than the High Priestess, you know." Amirah kept her focus on Hylda's injuries as she began working on a plaster that would heal them without scarring. She nodded at Feyre after a moment. "Take off your armour so I can take care of your wounds."
"I keep hearing that no one has seen her since she disappeared in these woods," Feyre commented with a wince as she took off her chainmail. She nodded her thanks when Amirah passed her the recipient with the plaster. "Maybe she's dead. Maybe that's why she hasn't been helping us."
Amirah wanted to agree. She had felt dead for a long time. Instead, she helped an unconscious Hylda onto the sofa after having finished wrapping her injuries in clean bandages. "Maybe she knows you don't need her help."
"As if," Feyre scoffed. "We have managed to cause serious damage to the Empress' army but we haven't gone unscathed. Just tonight, our raid turned out to be an ambush. One of our leaders is being taken to the castle as we speak."
Looking back on that moment, Amirah would never be able to disclose why she froze. It was as if something deep within her body understood what her conscious didn't want to understand. In that moment, her most haunting nightmares rose their ugly heads reminding of something she had always known was bound to happen.
And it was those nightmares that made her look up at Feyre with barely hidden trepidation. "Which leader?"
"Victoria," Feyre replied with reverence, as if that very name was cause for admiration. Amirah couldn't judge, for she completely understood the feeling. "I think she was the daughter of a nobleman but she left that life soon after the High Priestess was found."
oOo
Those three years had hardened Victoria.
It just...it had all been so sudden. That very morning, Amirah was the strong, feisty princess she had always known. She had been her best friend, her home.
That night, the girl who looked her in the eye and told her she would choose Jadis to save them all, she couldn't recognize.
She understood fear. Victoria had been afraid her entire life. Her father and his demands for her to marry, the society that rejected who she was, the world that deemed her unnatural. What Amirah couldn't understand from her position of privilege and power was that Victoria was constantly in danger. She was in danger because of who she was, because she wasn't tolerated, she wasn't accepted.
But she had never been stopped by that. The hate, the intolerance around her, Victoria had always felt it looming, waiting for her to be with her guard down. She had been ready since the start because she knew that they were wrong. She knew that the world would have to be ready to accept that love was love because that was the simple truth. And if there was something she could be grateful about her lineage, it was that it allowed her the protection to be the change she wanted in the world. She knew it wasn't easy to be so but in her case, she had the platform to fight, so fight she would.
How could Amirah hope for her to stay frozen as chaos evolved around her when she had been fighting for what she deemed right her entire life? How could Amirah give in so easily when she knew the harm those like Jadis could do to the world and those helpless to protect themselves?
How could Amirah be so ready to surrender when she and the boys were ready to stand up and fight?
She could understand Amirah. She could understand the restrictions and duties that came with being Princess and now, High Priestess. She could understand the fear of an abusive, evil Empress. She could understand that when you love somebody, you'd do anything to save them.
What she couldn't understand is how Amirah didn't see that if they didn't fight, they might as well be dead.
If something was unfair with the world, if power became more important than the wellness of the people, then they had the responsibility to do something about it.
That's why they left the castle that night. They knew that if Amirah knew about it, it would only endanger her so they packed their essentials and got on their horses. They only looked at the castle once, in the direction of what they knew was Amirah's bedroom but they couldn't stay for too long. Maybe the future would reunite them but for now, they were on different paths and if they were to succeed at theirs, then they needed to get on with it.
Their journey to the harbour was excruciatingly slow and silent.
Neither could comprehend, neither could put into words the pain of having their group broken for good.
Looking back, Victoria was sure both Seth and Jonah could find it in themselves to forgive Amirah. They understood that her situation was different and they just hoped it would end well for her as well.
Victoria could never do that.
She had always known her life would be filled with people who would disappoint her. Really, who doesn't disappoint at some point or the other?
She wasn't scared of the idea, because she had created a way for her not to hurt. She had built an armour around her heart and it had only thickened every time she'd to deal with someone letting her down. Every time she thought she would crumble, she had only come back stronger.
She never, never thought Amirah would be the one to hurt her.
It took her the first two months away from Amirah to even understand the pain she was feeling. She still moved forward, because that was just who she was but it was as if something had been broken within her, as if a light had been turned off and the world would never shine in the same way.
Amirah was her person, she had been the one she had trusted the most. Amirah...gods, she loved her. So much.
Victoria only realized she had always thought she would spend her life besides Amirah when news reached the harbour.
The High Priestess had moved into the woods to focus on her training. And Empress Jadis was calling for volunteers for the Royal Army. Different squads would exit the castle and tour the country within the following two weeks.
And Victoria jumped into action, just like she had taught herself to do.
She would never break. If she broke, now more than ever, she would die.
So she would fight. She would rise and she would convince others to rise with her. She would make Charn a more fair place and maybe, once it was all over, she would meet Amirah again.
That day, Victoria uttered her name for the last time.
And the next three years, they went by in a blur.
During the days, herself, Seth and Jonah crept between town to town, convincing the families to join their forces. They formed a squad first, then a company of farmers, cobblers, hunters, and others as sick of Empress Jadis as they were. With Jonah in charge of the planning, Seth in charge of the offense and Victoria in charge of them all, things were smooth at first. They began to raid small stations, stealing rations and weapons from under the nose of the unsuspecting guards.
It wasn't long before their numbers began to grow enough for them to be noticed. At first, the parties of officers patrolling those towns would laugh at them, mocking their attempts to change the world. What would they, a group of homeless rascals, could do against the most powerful Empress of the universe?
Then, they managed to take the second most-important fortress, which until that moment had been housing guards. A month later, they managed to obtain the most important of them, which was located in the middle of Charn and had easy access to all trading ground routes.
It was then that they stopped being funny.
Soon after that, the battles began.
Victoria, Seth and Jonah were ready for that. They had been preparing their comrades and, while they would never be able to match the Royal Army's skill, they were smarter and, more than that, they had more knowledge of the resources and numbers of their enemy. Jadis and her minions, as much power as they had, couldn't have an exact idea of what the rebels had, for they did not know who they were.
So, they spent their days planning. Day after day, they poured over their maps, their lists, and their inventory. They held meetings, they battled and slowly, they won ground against their enemy.
They were a good team, so good that Victoria could almost drown herself in them and in her comrades. Because it was while she planned, thought and fought for something bigger than herself that she could forget everything other than the cause.
And it worked. For a while. It made her a better leader, ruthless to those who deserved it, and closed to all but a few who knew her from before. Eventually, they began to be joined by some from the villages neighbouring the castle, so some of them she knew from the past and had even talked to. Still, she never opened up to them and they began to think that Victoria could not be the one who had been so close to Princess Victoria.
Seth and Jonah were the only ones who knew the truth.
The truth was that her time was not her own anymore. During the days, she dedicated her every second to the cause. During the nights, while they slept or went over their list of things to do in the morning, Victoria snuck out. She would find somewhere no one knew about, regardless of where they moved. She would hide and she would think of her.
And it was the only moment in which Victoria allowed herself to miss her, even if she still was angry at her.
For three years it went on like this.
Until her squad was a regiment and they were in control of one third of the country.
They had been hearing the stories for a month. Multiple wagons, bringing slave girls from the North. One of the territories Jadis had conquered without the aid of the High Priestess. The Empress couldn't access the territories to the South, like Felinda and Sorlis, for the rebels had control of the harbour.
In Victoria's mind, behind those barriers she had put for herself, there was this hope that once this was over, she and Amirah and the boys would be able to go to those places just like they'd dreamed of.
Sneaking onto the road through which the wagons would pass was easy, and that should have been the first red flag.
Maybe Victoria was too focused on saving those girls. Maybe she was focused trying not to think about the fact that Amirah had apparently disappeared into the woods not too far from that road.
In any case, Jonah didn't voice any concerns. Seth didn't either and, once they were a few miles from that road, Victoria led the squad herself.
Victoria was about to open the gate of one of the wagons, the army escorting them tied to a tree, when they appeared out of nowhere. More soldiers than they could count. More soldiers than they hoped to defeat.
Still, they fought.
Of course they did. If Victoria had kept anything during those years of war, it was the urge to fight when in danger. She would never sit still again. She would defend herself and whoever else needed defense.
Maybe, it was that fire, that rage that fed her strength, the one that made her last as long as she did. She fought for her life, harder than she'd ever fought, soon enough drawing every soldier around her into the fight and allowing two of her girls to escape.
As they threw her inside one of those wagons with the terrified slave girls, the dead bodies of her comrades beside her, Victoria uttered Amirah's name for the first time in three years.
And for the first time in three years, she prayed. She prayed for Amirah to be alive, for her to help her comrades, her sisters.
Then, she closed her eyes and waited for the moment she would be back in that awful place.
oOo
It wasn't until two days later that the guards came by her cell.
Victoria knew her father would never come to see her. He had probably renounced her the moment word reached the castle of her activities. She also knew that Jadis wouldn't torture her. As heartless as she was, she knew there was no point. She knew it would make her a martyr. She knew that if people heard of her imprisonment, they would side with the rebels and she couldn't lose more support than the one she'd already lost. As obsessed as Jadis was with the power that came with ruling, she had to know some of that power was owned by the people. If the people weren't against her, then there was no one to rule over.
Victoria knew she would die. Probably in that very cell, surrounded by nothing but the white cold that breezed through the metal bars of her cell, completely in the dark for there was no window in that miserable space.
She would die alone, without hope of seeing Jonah, or Seth or Amirah ever again.
She would die alone and Jadis would make sure no one knew about it, so Amirah would never know.
At last, Victoria had nothing to hope for, nothing to fight for. That was it. Death had arrived and she had nothing else to do but wait for death.
But she would not do so patiently.
So she waited impatiently for it. She waited for the moment that would release her from this cage and into a better world. Maybe she would go to the Gods, maybe to some world no one knew about but she would be at peace and she would be anything she wanted to be.
And she would wait for Amirah. As she had waited for her during those three years of war.
Victoria had nothing left to do but remember and remember she did. She thought of every single moment she had shared with Amirah, of the things she wished she could say to her. She thought of everything she wished she had said or done differently and when the guards came to her cell, she almost fell down her bed from the shock.
"What is it?" Victoria demanded, her voice hardened after three years of leading an army. "Are you here to take me to my death? Get on with it."
"I suggest you shut your trap in the presence of Royalty, treacherous rat." One of the guards snapped as he unlocked the gate and threw it open. Still, he didn't take a step into the room. "Or you might find yourself in trouble."
"As if I wasn't already," Victoria scoffed, not at all intimidated. She stood from her bed and raised her hands in provocation. "You tell Her Imperial Majesty that if she wants to kill me, she can do so herself. I won't be bored by the spineless guards she's sending."
With satisfaction, Victoria watched as the guard clenched his hand around his sword...only to lower it reluctantly.
Victoria opened her mouth to taunt him again when she spoke.
"That is more than enough. I will now be left with the prisoner."
"But, Your Highness," the second guard was quick to protest. "This is a dangerous prisoner, leader of the rebellious cause. You surely don't expect-."
"What I expected is to be obeyed. My sister may be Empress of Charn but I'm still a member of the Royal Family and High Priestess to this wonderful nation. If I tell you to do something, you obey. Leave. Now."
The guards bowed their heads and retreated quickly, leaving space for a hooded figure who was quick to enter the cell and close the gate behind her. Victoria watched her every moment, knowing who that was but refusing to believe it.
Had she finally lost her mind? Had she conjured her voice in order to have some relief before her demise? Could Amirah possibly be alive?
Could she possibly be there?
After a moment of hesitation, the hooded figure uncovered her face and lay her eyes on the prisoner. Her hair was obscure, as if her time in the woods had made it look dead. Still, it fell around her face as enchanting as ever. Her eyes were burdened, years of solitude and burden having made a hole in her soul nothing would ever manage to patch it up. Still, they were as cunning and enchanting as ever. Her figure was hunched, as if it was with shame that she stood before her friend. Still, she was as regal as ever.
Amirah smiled nervously. "Long time no see, my friend."
Victoria had thought of this moment a lot. She thought of what she would do and she changed her reaction every time she thought about it. She thought she would punch her. She thought she would yell. She thought she would yell. She thought she would cry. She thought she would kiss her.
What she didn't think was that she would sink back onto her bed, rendered into silence.
As she realized she wasn't coming out of her stupor anytime soon, Amirah slowly sank onto her knees before her, careful not to touch her. "Victoria? It 's me. I promise I'm here. I'm so sorry I left you."
Victoria sank into her knees before Amirah. She slowly grabbed her hands into her own, moving slowly up into her wrists, her forearms, her elbows, her shoulders. She finally wrapped them around Amirah into a tight hug. "I left you first."
"You did what you had to do. Don't ever blame yourself." Victoria could feel Amirah shaking her head as she returned the hug. Without meaning to, she let out a sigh as she finally felt herself to be complete. "I was the one who left you first. I was afraid and I disappeared. I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it all back, Victoria, I should have never left you."
"I missed you," Victoria whispered, only slightly noticing the tears falling down her face. "I can't believe you're here. I thought I would never see you again."
"I thought I wasn't going to make it in time. Feyre and Hylda, they told me what happened." Amirah suddenly pulled herself away and eyed Victoria closely. "Have they treated your injuries? Are you losing any blood?"
Victoria wanted to laugh. With all this thing of being a leader, she had forgotten what it was to be taken care of. "They made sure I wouldn't lose any more blood but some of my injuries were poorly wrapped. They may be infected already."
Amirah nodded as if she had been expecting that. "Lay on the bed. I'll take care of them."
Had it been anyone else, Victoria would have refused but there was something about her friend that forced her to agree. Maybe it was that she was back, at last. Maybe it was that she seemed to be more like the feisty girl she once knew and not like the dead ghost she'd seen that last night.
As if she cared. Amirah was was all that mattered.
"Where have you been?" Victoria asked softly as Amirah took out small bowls she had been hiding in her cloak and began to work. "Rumours were you had disappeared into the forest."
Amirah sighed, refusing to look Victoria in the eye. "I'm ashamed to admit that's what happened. She...Jadis told me I needed to control my powers in order to fulfil my duties and I didn't contradict her. I wanted to leave this place, I wanted to escape the pain and the fear this place brought me and I...I just disappeared, like she wanted to. I left and Jadis used that to bring chaos into the world."
"I made sure she didn't," Victoria replied. She grabbed Amirah's hand and smiled understandingly. Sure, she was mad and she would be mad for a long time but that didn't mean she couldn't talk to her in a mature way. Amirah was back, after all. The past is the past and if she was going to help, then all was forgiven. "Me, Jonah and Seth. We made sure she couldn't burn down the world completely."
"And I'm forever grateful." Amirah finished applying the medicine on Victoria's injuries and sank to the ground, smiling when Victoria's hand reached up to her cheek. "And I promise you won't fight on your own. We need to get you out of here and then, we will bring my sister to the ground."
Victoria smiled, tears gathering in her eyes. She had dreamed of this for a long time, this was as close to what she'd always wanted. Amirah and herself, together, fighting under the same cause.
If only, they could. If only, just once, things could work in their favour.
"You know that can't happen," Victoria whispered. She sat up and leaned forward, resting her forehead against Amirah's. "If you try to snuggle me out of here, Jadis will know. I am the leader of the Rebellion. I will never escape this place."
"No, no, we have to try." Amirah shook her head vehemently, pulling back when Victoria merely looked at her with grief. "I just got you back! And I control my powers now! I can make us invisible, I can make the guards fall asleep, I can do something, anything to get you out!"
"I would love for nothing more than to get out of here with you." Victoria let out a chuckle as she dropped a kiss onto Amirah's nose. "I wanted us to be reunited. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to fight alongside you! Amirah, this cause...it's bigger than any of us. If I have to die so you can leave and join the others, so be it."
Amirah looked at her with wide eyes, pearly tears falling down her cheeks. "I left so you would be safe. I chose Jadis so you would be safe. I...I can't lose you again."
"Now you need to fight so we're all safe. So we never have to deal with something like this. You need to defeat Jadis and become Empress so the people are safe. Amirah," Victoria spoke rushedly, cradling Amirah's face in her hands as she began to cry. Not wanting to contain herself any longer, she reached down and dropped a small kiss on her lips. "Amirah, listen to me. I love you. I will never be gone. I have always loved you, just like you have always loved me. And I'm scattered through your life, in so many moments you could never go without me. I love you. Nothing else matters."
Amirah cradled Victoria's face, reaching up to kiss her before resting their foreheads together. Their hearts were united in one beat, just like their souls had always been, even when they didn't know it. "I love you. I love you. We deserved more time. We deserve a life together. This...gods, Victoria, I love you. I can't leave you. I just-."
"Seeing you has left me without pain," Victoria cut her off. "Being able to speak to you, it has given me the closure I needed. I can die now, because I saw you and because I know you will take over for me. You will become the hope for Charn and wherever I am, I will be waiting for you until you are ready to join me."
Amirah kissed her again, and again, until it was time for her to leave.
But then, that night, something most curious happened. Hours after the High Priestess of Charn left the Leader of the Rebellion, an invisible presence entered the cell. The traitor, far from being scared, was ecstatic. She left space free of the bed and began to talk, staying up the entire night. Some may say there was someone there speaking back to her.
When sunrise came, Victoria was escorted onto a private courtyard by a whole company of guards.
The cold was unforgiving, seeping through her armour and leather vest, yet there was a warmth in her chest nothing or no one could take from her.
She was on her own, yet she had never felt more accompanied.
She was facing her death, yet she had never felt more peaceful.
Jadis herself waited for Victoria by the courtyard, the royal executioner slightly apart.
As she used to be a member of nobility, she had been granted a cleaner death.
To Victoria, it didn't matter. She didn't hear anything. She didn't pay attention as Jadis spoke, or as the executioner approached her or as they made her kneel or as they sharpened a steel sword.
Her eyes were on her love, who watched from the shadows.
As she died, the tearful smile of her love was the last thing she saw.
oOo
She had been living amongst the woods for most of her life but after Victoria's death, there just was nothing familiar about them. Or anything else for that matter.
It was one thing when her other half was somewhere out in the world, fighting yet alive. Amirah was able to live then, in the shadows and in her dreams, but she did. It was a joke of a life, a ghost of a reality, but there was peace because in her mind, Victoria was there.
Now she couldn't fool herself. Not only because she had seen that wretched sword fall on her beloved but also, because she had made a promise. She had to fight, she had to take her sister out of the throne, she had to make Charn safe for everyone again. That's what Victoria wanted. After that? Well, Amirah would see. But she had failed Victoria before. She wouldn't do so again.
But...but how can you go on? When your heart has been violently ripped out of your chest, when your world, your home, has been shattered without hope for salvation, when there is just nothing else. When that happens, how can you expect to go on? How do you find the will to even give a step?
Amirah had no answer for that. Only the promise she made between sobs. The promise she made to her dying love.
So, she went by the motions. She managed to escape the castle as the guards retrieved Victoria's corpse while Jadis watched on. She got on a horse and rode swiftly back into the woods, protected by the intense powers she had managed to release with her anger and grief. Grief for having lost her. Anger for having lost as much time as she did, when they could have been together.
The shadows were one and the same. In Amirah's dark mind, to her hollow soul, the forest was nonexistent. The rivers she crossed, the sunrises she faced, the sunsets she spent looking for cover, they were one and the same. Unimportant. Bland. Ordinary.
In her mind, there was just her. There were just the two of them, talking, saying everything they should have said before it was too late.
And it was funny, because there was this will to fulfil her debt. Amirah knew what she had to do. She had to find Jonah and Seth. She had to win their acceptance. She had to be worthy enough of becoming their leader. She had to ride into battle.
And she knew there was no time. Jadis should have put two and two together. As much as she managed to fool her sister into believing she was back to talk to the traitor who had once been her friend, Jadis had to have guessed the real reason. She had to have guessed Amirah's true allegiance. She had to know now that no matter how much she said otherwise in the past, Amirah's heart was with her friends and with her people, now with her Empress.
She was running out of time.
She had to turn around.
But something deep, deeper than any instinct she had ever felt within her, told her to ride forward.
And her logic was fighting, of course. The urgency to keep her promise was growing louder, her voice screaming within her for her to turn around and get on with the battle, with the war she couldn't avoid anymore.
And yet, she rode forward, almost as if she wasn't in control of her body.
Maybe she wasn't. Maybe Victoria, wherever she was, was guiding her.
Maybe the Gods had finally seen it fit to intervene.
Whatever the cause, a fortnight had passed since the murder of her beloved when Amirah stumbled into a part of the woods she didn't know yet.
The serene, almost white sunlight was what snapped Amirah out of her grieving daze. She almost fell off her horse as she looked up, startled by the off height and form of the trees surrounding her,
all of it surrounded almost by an eerie, reverent silence.
Amirah slowly got off her horse, her eyes fixed in the space before her. There were no animals in sight, no spirits, nothing that indicated to her that she wasn't on her own and yet, it wasn't like in her former house. It wasn't a haunting silence, it wasn't evolving in any way. It was reverent, yes, and eerie, but it was in a good way, in the way that silence can bring tears to our eyes, in the way that silence can make our hearts dance with the most powerful of emotions.
Amirah walked forward almost in a daze, her hair a tangled mess that fell down her back. Her black dress seemed even more obscure in the face of that ominous light and her armour, silver and sad, glimmered weakly.
She walked with her face turned up towards the sky, tears slowly gathering in the corner of her eyes as she slowly left the sanctuary that was the bottom of her mind. And when she first ran into the water, she was so out of sorts that she fell to her knees.
Withholding a gasp, for she did not want to break the ambiance of that place, her gaze dropped towards the floor before her, where a pond rested serenely, the concentric ripples of water caused by her foot the only sign of disturbance.
"What-," Amirah began, her voice rough after two weeks of silence, but there was something enchanting, almost mesmerizing, that shut her up again. Instead, she leaned forward tantalizingly, her eyes gleaming as they followed each ripple, each drop of water that moved out of order, only to return to the spot they had been before she came along.
"This is the Wood Between the Worlds, Your Highness," a voice spoke behind her back, one so warm and welcoming that it couldn't frighten her. If anything, it was like a caress against her cheek after a hard, long day. "And you are the first one to visit it in a long time."
Amirah turned slowly, terror and expectations running wild in her heart.
And she was welcomed by a flash of gold.
What I need your opinion with: As you may have guessed, I've tried to give this chapter a vibe reminiscent of an ancient myth because in a way, we are going to the origins of this fic. So, there are some things I've omitted because I don't mean to describe or add every single thing that is meant to happen during the time described here. While I think I have managed to make this mysterious yet not rushed, there are somethings I'm unsure whether I should add to the story. Should I add the reunion between Seth and Jonah? Should I describe Amirah's struggles as she wins over the army? Or should I jump straight into the battle? Cheers for your thoughts!
Anyways, hope you liked this! I based myself on "The Magician's Nephew", and altered some details in order to fit my story. I actually read that Jadis had a sister, who she killed to be Empress of Charn. I thought about making Amirah the oldest but I wanted to make her have a perspective of Charn and of Jadis that she just couldn't have if she was Empress and High Priestess.
Of course, there are also some details about Charn that might not be accurate to the canon storyline but bear with me. This is just the start, after all, so things will take a turn for the worst.
About Victoria and Amirah: In my mind, Victoria has always identified herself as lesbian. Amirah, I see her as someone who doesn't want to tag herself as anything, which is why I sort of left that aspect of her open. To Amirah, she loves Victoria and that's enough for her :)
Hope you guys liked this! I'll be back (NOW YES) with the final part of this chapter soon!