Second Date: Part 1

"Ah Bones, all this for little ol' me? You shouldn't have. I'm just a simple guy …" Kirk said with a grin after walking into McCoy's quarters and seeing the table set for a romantic dinner.

"Do you ever knock?" McCoy interrupted with a grumble, readying for an extended tirade.

"Why bother? You always welcome me in," Kirk replied flashing his most innocent and angelic expression.

McCoy rolled his eyes and retorted, "Not strictly true, you invariably skip the 'may I' part, and welcome is a bit of a stretch."

Kirk perused the table settings, picking up and examining the silverware and the stemware. "A bouillon spoon, a fish fork, and a dinner fork? Glasses for red, white, and sparkling wines? Why Bones, you've got game after all. Guess you were hiding it during those three years we were at the Academy. All of your dates then were disasters, even the sure things I aimed in your direction. Instead the nights ended with us nursing drinks at the 602 club."

"Where in the name of all that is holy did you learn the uses for various flatware? I assumed juvenile detention kept to the basics," McCoy retorted as he snatched the dessert fork out of Kirk's hand and carefully repositioned it.

Chuckling and ignoring the bait Kirk replied, "Worked for a catering company one summer during high school. But that begs the question, where did you," he emphasized the work, "learn place setting etiquette?"

McCoy held up his hands and waggled his fingers in front of his commander. "Good with knives and other implements, remember?" His voice trailed off as if embarrassed, "Meemaw insisted all the grandchildren learn. She liked things done up fancy."

"Your Granny taught you?" Kirk tried for light and joking. Yet his tone was wistful. He added softly, "Mum's mom died soon after I was born. And she cut all ties with Dad's parents. When I was a kid … I was jealous when my friends visited their grandparents."

"Your Mama and I will have words one day," McCoy vowed as he placed a hand on Jim's shoulder. "Next shore you come home with me and meet the whole clan, though that requires bravery beyond staring down those trying to do us in and outrunning interstellar hazards. And once you've charmed Grandmaw and Meemaw with that smile, they'll adopt and spoil you until kingdom come."

Jim cleared his throat and quickly pivoted, shoving aside and covering his emotions as he always did when memories of childhood bubbled up. "I thought in the south Kerr jars are for white wine and Ball jars are for red wine …"

McCoy thought, I'll play along as usual, but one of these days my friend we're going to tackle those wounds. He said, "Seriously a farm boy from Iowa with the arrested emotional IQ of a horny teenager is gonna comment on the proper stemware for grown-up beverages?" His voice trailed up an octave. "And make fun of the South?"

Kirk's trademark grin returned, "I've learned a few things over the years. Now, any questions about tonight? Anything I can clear up for you? You do understand where all the bits go?"

"Anatomy class took care of that," McCoy said dryly. "And I've forgotten more about dating than you will ever know. Those three years at the Academy don't count. I was recently divorced and on the rebound. As well as a dedicated, studious cadet."

The door chimed. "Go away," McCoy hollered.

The doors swished open admitting Spock.

"What part of no escaped your understanding?" the doctor asked in an exasperated tone of voice.

Spock's eyebrow rose. He contemplated the table set for dinner. "I surmised you likely required assistance in planning and executing a successful … perhaps success is too high a goal … an adequate evening; an evening not reflecting poorly on the ship's senior command staff. As the only member of this threesome currently in a functioning passionate relationship enduring beyond a long weekend, I surmised my data is 131.567 percent more accurate and applicable than the Captain's. Therefore I came where I am needed."

Turning to Kirk McCoy mused, "I'm not certain which one of us got the worst of that one." Redirecting his focus to Spock he continued, "Jim's covered the biology bits so I'm good to go." He shooed the Captain and First Officer in the direction of the door.

Spock remained firmly in place. "Go where?"

"Where he's rarely gone before," Kirk chimed in. After a pause he added, "And not for a long, long time."

"Thanks for the confidence boost," McCoy growled.

Spock settled on the couch. "Very well. If poise and self-assurance are lacking, clichéd yet truthful obligatory flattery will be offered. You are a handsome man and a skilled physician. A 'good-catch' is, I believe, the appropriate human idiom. Nyota agrees."

"You and Uhura don't … gossip … about me … to one another … do you?" McCoy stammered. Jim settled in a nearby chair.

"Vulcan's never gossip. She and I, after mating last night in what is more precisely termed pillow talk, shared our concerns regarding your upcoming date," Spock replied.

"Wipe that grin off your face Jim … or I will," McCoy warned shaking a finger in the captain's direction. "And why, why, you pointy-eared hobgoblin do you never miss an opportunity for pointing out you have an active sex life while we do not?"

"I simply state truth, Doctor. And I am endeavoring to correct the lack of intimate relations in your life," Spock's response and expression were serene.

Jim hooked his thumb in the Vulcan's direction. "He's like a complete package dating service."

Spock looked thoughtful. "A useful endeavor. The application of logic to human romantic liaisons would spare many disappointments and the ensuing misery."

"So Bones, according to the Southern Gentleman's Dating Handbook, what is on tonight's agenda?"

"We take things slow and easy. A gourmet meal then handholding during a walk in the moonlight," McCoy replied. "As moonlight is absent in space …"

"There is no such thing as true moonlight, it is reflected …" Spock began his lecture.

McCoy talked over him, "I considered a walk on deck 6 when the lighting is dimmed for the evening. But rather than endure stares, whispered comments, and uninvited suggestions, we're staying in. He added to himself, hands entwined as we sit side by side on the sofa and listen to soft music. With a not quite chaste kiss at the end of the evening.

Kirk scanned the room, noting every detail. He tilted his head and fixed McCoy with a steady, serious gaze. "You know, Spock and I should stay, at least for a drink and nibbles."

Spock nodded. "Yes, Jim. An excellent idea."

"But …" McCoy said.

"We will make sure the date gets off on the right foot," Kirk said.

"But …" McCoy repeated.

Kirk rose and slapped the physician on the back. "We're here for you. Actually I'll call Chef. He can make dinner for four as easily as two. Or five." He turned to Spock. "Would Nyota like to come as well?"

"Undoubtedly. I will signal her," Spock replied. He rose and moved to the intercom.

"But …" McCoy's voice grew quieter with each objection. Damn, they'd really do this …