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Dick Wolf owns everything

Healing

Elliot folded into Olivia's arms. His breathing was ragged, and he couldn't keep the tears from falling. He had tried his hardest, but he couldn't stop it. He had almost lost her to a fucking sadistic madman, and just the thought of it was too much. It was too much…

Olivia wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her.

He kissed her shoulder, and then her neck, pulling her closer to him. Clinging to her. Needing to feel her heartbeat against his.

Finally, his breathing slowed. His eyes burned, but the feeling of Olivia's arms around him soothed his aching soul. Sensing he was calming, she pulled back and looked into his eyes.

She tenderly smiled at him, wiping his face and then softly kissing his lips before she stood up. She cleared her throat and ran her hands through her hair gathering herself.

"Water?" she asked walking into the kitchen.

"Yea… thanks." he said taking in a deep breath.

He looked to Olivia who was now standing at her open fridge, just staring into it. She knew this next part might change the way he looked at her.

"Liv…" Elliot said cautiously as he stood.

"There's… more." she said flatly.

Elliot felt his knees buckle a little, but he willed himself to get it together. It was obvious to him there was something else she needed to tell him, and it scared her. He could tell by how quickly she closed herself off from him once she got up. He didn't want her to ever close herself off from him. Not now… not ever.

When they were partners, she had closed herself off to him a few times. And he had no bearing to question her about it. Sometimes because they had disagreed, and she had been so pissed off at him she shut him out. Other times it was out of self-preservation. Like after Gitano and then there was Oregon. She did the one thing, unknowingly to her at the time, that hurt him more than anything she could have possibly done back then.

Pull away.

Every time she did, she took a piece of him with her. The piece of him that had always belonged to her. His heart. And she didn't know it then. He was almost positive everyone else in the squad probably suspected it though. He could be prickly on a good day, but when she left… he was almost unbearable. No one wanted to work with him. He lashed out at anyone and everyone who tried to help because he was worn so thin and raw, he might have lost it in the squad room in front of everyone. He had been hanging on by a narrow thread. He used anger to cover the hole she left in his chest.

He knew he could be an asshole and putting up with him was clearly one of her special talents and she has many. The way she is with victims, her compassion for justice, her ability for empathy… her all-encompassing kindness and her capacity for forgiveness just to name a few. And that list grew exponentially once they had crossed the thin line between them. Her talent for making him melt and want to drop to his knees to worship her was staggering. Her talent to slip into his mind and cause his pulse to quicken at various moments during his days without her was slightly embarrassing. And her talent for loving him and being his soulmate is unequivocally unmatched.

And yet, even after all the heaviness between them, and because of that, he had done the same thing to her only worse. He left her. And it wasn't just pulling away…

…how you disappeared? Cause that's what you did…

Olivia's words rang in his ears from that night in the hospital.

And that's exactly what he did. He disappeared. No word, no goodbye… no reason. And he left her for ten years to wonder. After Gitano and Oregon, she had come back to him.

She came back.

And now he had come back. Back to New York… back to her.

Well, they had waded through the murkiness of his departure and came out the other side to crystal waters. If they made it through that, then they could make it through this. They could make it through anything. He was sure of it. He was here now and nothing in this world could keep him from loving her.

Nothing.

He would never stop loving her and telling her he loves her… and showing her just how much he loves her.

He slowly walked over to her at the fridge.

"Liv…" he said, his voice low as not to startle her.

"Liv you can tell me anything…" he said, and she sighed.

She grabbed a bottled water from her fridge and turned, handing it to him. He took it and took her hand in his pulling it to his chest.

She looked up under her lashes at him, and the pools of blue staring back at her hit her so hard she felt her stomach flip. The next thing she was going to tell him could shift things between them. She didn't know if she could handle it if he started looking at her differently.

"I lied in my report." she said holding her breath.

"What do you mean?" he asked questioningly.

She felt her nerves hit her stomach again and she decided to push past it and just tell him. He had always looked at her as solid, reliable… and honest. She rarely lost her temper. There were a few times, but for the most part she could keep herself calm and control her anger, unlike how he used to be. Elliot had made gigantic strides in that department, and she was so proud of him for that growth.

She inhaled deeply and walked past him and grabbed the case file that had sat untouched on her coffee table.

She turned back to him, closed her eyes for a second to prepare herself, and then spoke.

"What you won't find in here is after I had knocked him out with my gun, I hand cuffed him to the end of the bed. There was a cleaning woman and her little girl that had… interrupted him and he had locked them in another room. I found them, told her I was police, and she needed to leave and tell no one. I told her…" Liv stopped taking a short breath and feeling her insides twist.

"I asked her if she was legal and then told her they would take her daughter away if they found her here… I lied to her… I needed them to leave so I could be alone… with him." She said staring into Elliot's eyes with a look he had never seen in them before.

It was a mixture of fear and devastation with hints of rage and darkness. It sent a shiver down his spine.

"I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to put a bullet between his eyes and watch him bleed out." She said almost robotically.

"Liv… no one could fault you for that…" he said reassuringly.

"He woke up and started baiting me. Egging me on. He wanted me to hurt him… pull me down to his level… show him I was no better than he was…" her breath hitched in her throat, and she started to cry again.

"And he did…" she choked out. "I beat him almost to death with the metal rod from the bed frame… and I told the police that he broke free of his restraints and lunged at me… which was a lie…" she said and all of a sudden, she couldn't catch her breath.

She instantly felt the weight of gravity pull her down and she dropped her file feeling a panic attack hit her as her vision went blurry.

In an instant Elliot was there, catching her, pulling her into his arms. She helplessly tried to hang on to him, but her arms felt weak.

"Breathe… Liv… breathe." he said as calmly as he could, but his heart was racing. He held her tight, feeling her go limp in his arms.

He sat them down on her floor, his back up against her couch. He pulled her between his legs and cradled her, rubbing her shoulders. He put his other hand on her cheek and kissed the top of her head.

"Breathe… just breathe Liv… I'm here, I'm right here my love…" he said, using her pet name for him.

He felt her breathing slow after a few minutes. He kissed her head again and turned his head to look down at her.

"Hey…" he said quietly and moved his hand to her chin, pulling her face up gently. Her brown eyes looked at him, shame and guilt in them, but also appreciativeness. She was so thankful he was here. Here to love her and make her feel safe and it reflected in her beautiful eyes.

He smiled tenderly at her, "There's my girl…" he said his eyes softly glowing as he looked at her. Her heart swelled seeing the same look in his eyes he's had since the night he told her he was in love with her out on the street. It calmed her nerves, and she felt a part of her that she never thought could ever be fixed start to heal.

He felt her shiver, and he wrapped his arm around her waist, and pushed down on the floor with the other to lift them up and moved them to her couch.

"Let me get you some water… ok?" he asked, looking back into her eyes before he got up. He didn't want to leave her side and break their touch unless she was ok. He moved to grab the water he abandoned on her counter the second he saw her faulter. On his way back something else grabbed his attention.

She had dropped her case file, and all the photos had fallen out and spread across her floor.

Up close photos. Photos they take at the hospital. To document assault. Photos he'd seen his fair share of and was almost desensitized to.

But these were of Olivia.

The laceration above her eyebrow. A black eye. The bruise on her cheek. The blood in her hair from a cut on her head… probably causing a concussion. The bruises on her wrists from being restrained. Bruises on her ribs, undoubtedly from fractures. The burns… from a key, and cigarettes.

The pictures of her face… her eyes… she looked… broken… empty.

He slid his hand down his face, leaving it over his mouth, trying to control his breathing. He felt anger stab at his chest and radiate across his shoulders and down his arms.

"El…" Olivia said in a high whisper. "I'm sor…" she started to say, but he cut her off and quickly moved back to her on the couch.

"Don't you dare… you have nothing to apologize for." he said handing her the water and taking her back into his arms pulling her impossibly close.

"You don't ever have to apologize for what that fuck put you through… do you hear me?" Elliot said rubbing her back. Olivia nodded her head slightly. He sighed seeing that she still felt guilt for lying. It wasn't her style, and he knew it must have eaten her alive. He pulled her legs up and over his by her knees and pulled her up against his chest. She nuzzled herself into him wrapping her arms around his waist.

They stayed there like that while she told him the rest of her story. How Lewis terrorized her again in court by defending himself. Raking her over the coals of her lie and how she used excessive force on him while he was incapacitated. She told him how he made it seem like she beat him because he denied her sexual advances.

Elliot's blood was boiling. This guy had a seriously sick hard-on for her and clearly wasn't going to ever stop. He was just going to make her relive her trauma. Elliot just wanted to take away all of her pain.

Because of his show in court the jury only found him guilty of kidnapping and assault, not attempted rape. Then she told him how he escaped from prison and went on another rampage. Raping a teenage girl and kidnapping her younger sister. He threatened to kill her if Olivia didn't come clean and tell the world how she perjured herself on the stand.

Of course, he had lied to Olivia and didn't release the girl. Even though she knew it was wrong to go alone to find him, she knew Lewis wouldn't have it any other way and there was a young girl's life at stake.

Olivia faltered again, needing to catch her breath again before she told him the next part.

"He handcuffed me to a table, taped my ankles to the legs… I knew what he was going to do. I knew he wanted me to struggle… cry… beg him to stop… so… I didn't." she said. She felt a tremor run down Elliot's body and his hands tensed.

"He undid my belt and slammed my upper body down on the table and I just… laid there. I knew if I struggled it would give him the satisfaction, he needed to… rape me… so I took away his power. And of course, he couldn't then. He only liked his women vulnerable… old or young… hurt… helpless…"

Which wasn't her. Elliot knew that. He knew more than anyone.

She felt Elliot let out the breath he was holding.

"So, then he made me play Russian roulette…" she said.

"Oh my God… Liv…" Elliot stammered. His hands instinctually gripped her tighter.

"He ended up killing himself… he stood next to me and used his right hand to pull the trigger. He was trying to put doubt in everyone's head that he didn't kill himself, that I was the one who shot him." She said.

Elliot gritted his teeth and flexed his jaw. This prick tried to jam her up even in death.

"But it all worked out in the end. Lieutenant Declan Murphy, the commanding officer of SUV at the time told the grand jury that he ordered me to lie at the press conference, which cleared me of Lewis's death and the perjury charges. It was a lie, but I didn't ask him to do it. I was ready. I was ready to face the consequences, even if it meant my shield…" she trailed off.

"Liv…" Elliot said looking down to her. Needing to see her face. She looked up at him, her eyes red from tears. He could see the toll this took on her. She looked exhausted, but there was something else… relief. She never had to repeat this story in such detail again. He was the last person who needed to know. He brought his hand to her face saying everything he needed to say with his eyes.

"Come on…" he said adjusting to stand up, taking her hand and pulling her with him. They walked past the spilled file, and she turned to pick it up and he stopped her.

"No, Liv… let me… I'll be in there in two seconds." He said reassuring her with a squeeze of her hand. She bit her bottom lip and sighed, nodding her head and she turned slowly letting go of his hand.

Elliot took in a deep breath and let it out slow as he bent down to pick up the evidence… proof of how he had almost lost her. He flipped through a few of the photos looking at the damage Lewis had done. And not all of it was physical.

It squeezed at his heart. He knew he may never be able to help her fully heal but he was going to do the best he could. He was going to spend the rest of his life trying.

He put everything back in the file and put it back in her bag and closed it. He wanted to make sure Noah didn't accidently come across it. When he made his way into her bedroom, she was standing by the window just looking out at the night.

He closed the door, making sure she heard it before he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't want to startle her. She relaxed back into him a little. Then he turned her around and looked deep into her eyes.

"I love you, Olivia." He said his voice so full of emotions.

She blinked back the tears starting to form there before she spoke.

"I love you too Elliot."

Elliot brushed his lips lightly across hers as he brought his hands up to cup her face. Then he kissed her again. When he pulled back his hands moved to the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. He then removed his as well.

Olivia's hands delicately moved over the planes of his chest slowly letting the realness of him reverberate in her mind, watching her fingers trail over him. When she looked up at him his eyes intensified, and she saw his love for her in those deep blue pools.

He removed the rest of their clothes and moved her to sit on the edge of her bed. He stood before her and slowly kissed her temple, his hands cradling her face. Then he kissed below her eye, then her cheek… then the top left of her lips…

She then knew what he was doing. He was kissing every place Lewis had left a bruise or a scar. After weeks the bruises faded, and after years of using ointment, her scars were almost unnoticeable… to everyone but her. No matter how much they faded, she knew where they laid… and now so did Elliot.

Her breathing quickened. He was trying to make up for not being there by kissing the skin of her battle wounds in a way that only his lips would be able to.

He slowly and gently took his time, his lips fusing his love over the ugliness Lewis had left. Healing them… healing her.

He kneeled in front of her as he made his way to her chest, her ribs, the key shaped scar on her hip. Once he was done, he brought his face back up to hers.

He moved his thumbs over her lips and then to her cheeks as his fingers moved through her hair and held on to the base of her head.

"You are so beautiful… the most beautiful…" he said swallowing hard.

"Liv… I…" and he felt the intensity of how much he loved her hit him so hard. And his gratefulness to God that she was alive. It was overwhelming. It took his breath and his words away.

And she knew. She felt the same thing hit her the second she realized what he was doing with his kisses.

She pulled him to her lips, her need to feel them again on her body intensified by his clear and irreversible love for her.

He wasted no time pulling her up onto the bed, her legs widening to cradle him between her.

Her mind was melting with her want for him. She needed him. She needed the relief only his lips and tongue and body could give her. He was the only one who could make her feel this alive.

He washed away every insecurity she had about herself. About her body, her scars… and her invisible insecurities. She had told him about her darkest moments on this planet and if it was even possible, he loved her more.

He lazily slid his tongue in her mouth, and she moaned at the contact. Elliot felt her tremble in his arms and her nipples harden against his chest and a low groan escaped his throat and into her mouth. He couldn't bring himself to break their kiss.

Elliot's hand slowly made its way up from her waist to her ribcage and his thumb brushed the underside of her breast, causing her to arch into him. Her knees came up and she wrapped her legs around him pulling him into her more.

His erection slid up against her core and she broke their kiss to moan deeply at the want throbbing for him now between her legs. Her eyes rolled back into her head as it hit her hard and steady throughout her body. It had been more than twenty-four hours since they had last been together physically and so much heaviness had transpired between them and she couldn't take it. She couldn't take not feeling him between her legs, his weight on top of her, him buried deep inside her. She needed him more than she needed her next breath.

He felt her need spread over him, and lust and love shot across his body. He knew without her asking exactly what she needed. He needed the same thing. He pulled his hips back to line himself up at her entrance, and then his eyes sought hers out. Her cheeks were flushed, her breathing rapid and uneven. He put his weight on his elbows, bringing his hands to her face and bared his soul to her through his eyes.

Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, pulling his face inches from hers, letting all her walls down. He had shattered every shield she had put up. There was nothing left between them unspoken. Then he slowly entered her, the pure relief washing over both of them. He stilled once fully inside her, reveling at the complete peace he felt being one again.

It took a minute before he was coherent enough to move inside her. He started to gently rock himself at first. His lips sought hers out and her fingers dug into the back of his neck when his tongue found hers. He felt the heat build up at the base of his spine, and he pulled himself up on his knees widening them to fit around her hips as his hands slid down her back to her ass, pulling her into him as his thrusts started to become faster.

He broke their kiss and pulled her chest to his, not wanting to keep any inch of her skin from touching his and he heard her moan in his ear as he hit a new angle deep inside her. He buried his face in her neck and hair keeping their bodies impossibly close.

He felt her arms wrap around him tighter and he picked up his speed needing to feel release. Needing to feel her silky tight walls clamp down on him while he spilled himself deep inside her.

He took her earlobe in his mouth and sucked gently on it and the feeling shot through her straight into her core and he felt the start of her sweet release begin to cover his inner thighs. A breathy throaty moan escaped her, and he knew she was close.

He pulled out of her almost completely and thrust back into her grounding down on her core and a high pitch shriek escaped her mouth as she came. He tried his hardest to keep going, a few more thrusts wanting to keep her orgasm going as long as he could, but he was losing his focus. Her tight grip on him, her trembling body… it was too much, and he thrust once again inside her and spilled himself so deep, her name on his lips.

He collapsed on top of her, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, still needing him to be closer to her. He was still inside of her, his arms and legs wrapped all around her and it still would never be close enough for her.

He slowly rolled them to their sides, keeping their bodies connected, legs and arms as well. He stroked her hair and found his spot on her hip where he always drew an infinity symbol on her skin.

After a while he felt her shiver and he slowly pulled out of her and grabbed at the blankets to cover them, pulling her back into his arms. He laid their staring at her ceiling for a few moments listening to her breathe.

"I would have killed him…" he said quietly. "With my bare hands…"

Olivia stilled at his words. She wasn't surprised at all by his confession. She knew it was true. He would have. Which was the only reason she was glad he wasn't there for all of it. Lewis wouldn't have been able to resist taking Elliot away from her. But he was here now, loving her.

She had won.

And now it was truly over.

She kissed his chest, snuggling closer to him, and then took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.

"I know…" she said.

She closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. It was the simplest and most beautiful sound. She felt his hand slip to her hip, and he continued his little tradition of writing the word forever on her skin with that symbol in the same spot his fingers would always find. The beat of his heart softly sent her floating out into the calm safe ocean that was Elliot Stabler and it lulled her into a deep tranquil sleep.