Thank you all for reading! I can't believe were at 30! Comments and reviews are always welcome! Enjoy!

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Cold Sweat

…that's the endgame sweetheart…

Her heart was racing.

…we got a lot of shock and awe before we do that…

She could feel, even in sleep, adrenaline pump through her veins. Perspiration on her skin. Tension in every muscle of her body… frozen.

…you'd pretend like this didn't happen, would you?...

This is a nightmare... this is a nightmare… this is a nightmare…

Lewis hit her across the face with the butt of her gun.

Wake up wake up wake up… this isn't real…

Olivia was trying so hard to wake herself up. This wasn't a new nightmare, but an old one. The same one she'd had countless nights. It had been almost three and a half years since she last struggled to get out of the trap her subconscious had her in.

She used to have nightmares where the assault was actually happening again. She had relived it many times. But over the years it morphed into something different.

Flashes…

Like she was watching it happen to her. She could feel every hit, every slap… every sickening touch… the duct tape across her mouth… the hand cuffs bruising her wrists, the aching in her body… but it was like she was on the outside, watching it happen. Unable to do anything about it.

Sometimes this was worse than reliving it. Every time being forced by her mind to see the mistakes… knowing she could never change what happened. The only positive was she could usually wake herself up easier than when she was reliving it.

…one move, lights out…

This isn't real… it's not real…

…I'll do you cold…

Wake up… please wake up…

Olivia shot up in bed, her heart beating hard against her rib cage, making her pulse throb in her head. A loud hoarse yelp escaping her throat.

Elliot sat up quickly, searching for Liv in the dark.

"Liv!" he exclaimed.

Fear gripped him until he found her breathing heavy sitting next to him in the dark.

"Liv…" he said a little softer, catching the breath he didn't know he needed until after the relief washed over him that she was safe next to him in bed. His ears were still ringing with the strangled sound of her cry.

"Are you ok?" he asked rubbing his face and trying to slow his heart rate down. He moved to wrap his arms around her. It was then he felt the cold sweat on her body. She was having a nightmare. Reliving her worse days. He pulled her into him, her body rigid and tense. He felt her relax a little at the feel of his warm skin, her breath still ragged. His fingers delicately smoothed over her skin, soothing away the chill that set in.

She swallowed hard, finally taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out. She breathed in the scent of Elliot. It sent relief into her mind and limbs… and heart. Even though she needed him the most when Lewis had kidnapped her, it was now she realized again just how grateful she was he had come back to her.

When she used to wake up drenched in sweat, in sheer terror, or on nights where she couldn't sleep at all because her fear had consumed her… that was when she wanted to pick up the phone and call him. That's when she needed him more than she ever needed him.

Brian had been there, but he never knew what to do. Nothing he said helped, which wasn't much because he never really had anything to say anyway. It killed her how he tried to do the right thing, but all he did was make it worse. When nothing was working, he would just look at her. She could see it in his eyes. He just thought of her as a broken thing he didn't know how to fix.

Sometimes he would forget anything ever happened to her and say or do something that triggered her. She would react and he would be so insensitive about it and just… stupid. A few times when she was having a nightmare he would wake up and try to touch her, and she would recoil. He would take it so personally, but if it had been anyone else, she would have recoiled… well… anyone but Elliot. But that wasn't an option then.

She needed her partner, her friend… his reassurance she could get through this. The comfort he gave her was unparallel. And he wasn't there. She was alone. Alone to wade through the bizarre maze her life had become then. But he was here now. And the knowledge that he would always be there from now on was… overwhelming.

"Liv…" Elliot said again, pulling her tighter to him, worried the seconds of silence and her nonresponse to her name on his lips meant something else was happening in her head… that she was laying a wall brick by brick back up to protect herself. An old habit of hers he knew well.

"Yea…" she said breathlessly. "I am now…"

Her adrenaline had finally eased out of her veins, her hands were no longer shaking. She curled her arms around his waist, and she just couldn't hold in her emotions any longer. She tried to hold in her cry, and then the full weight of having Elliot here to hold her, comfort her, bring her back to herself… pulled her under.

Elliot felt her grip him tight, and then she shook a little, like she was trying to hold something in, and before he knew it, she was sobbing in his arms. Clinging to him like if she let go, he would evaporate.

"Hey hey hey… it's ok Liv… it's ok… I got you." He said stroking her hair, placing kisses to the top of her head in-between his words.

"I'm… I'm just…" she strangled to get out, "I'm just happy you're here…" she said whispering through her sobs, unable to get her voice to fully work.

Elliot felt her words ripple over him. He wondered how many nights she woke up like this. How many times she had needed him, and he wasn't there. It shook him to his core.

Well, he wasn't ever going to leave her again. Ever.

"I got you baby… I'm here… always…" he said rocking her in his arms.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia's alarm went off at quarter to six. She felt Elliot groan before she heard him. She was laying with her head on his chest, their legs in a tangled mess, his arms wrapped protectively around her. Her body was still sore from the other night with Elliot, but her mind and heart felt light. Unlike other times in her past when she woke up alone and tried to do anything and everything to comfort herself, except for the one thing she knew would, this time she hadn't been alone.

Elliot had been there. He had held her and soothed her burdened soul. Soothed her with his touch and his words and just with his presence. He truly had started to heal her.

She smiled slightly and peppered light kisses across his chest and his hands gripped her in his sleepy state. She reached across him to her nightstand to turn off the alarm, but his grip tightened, and his right arm slid further up her back finding the nape of her neck and his other hand slid lower to her hip bone, entwining her to him perpetually.

"El…" she whispered, her throat still sore from her crying last night. Her words only seemed to spur his entangling of her more. He brought his lips to her head, and she could feel a smile slip across them.

"El… the alarm…" she said, a little laugh slipping out of her at his sleepy playfulness. Especially considering the immense heaviness of last night… it was nice.

Olivia felt his muscles flex and he quickly rolled them over, hitting the alarm button as he moved over top of her. He brought his hand to her cheek, sliding it down to her neck. He smiled looking into her eyes as she moved her legs to cradle him between them. She looked… tired… but happy.

She smiled back up at him, trailing her hands over his collar bone on either side of him, and across both his shoulders, gripping at his biceps. She moved her hand to his jaw and pulled those lips of his to hers. She needed them like fire needs oxygen. And that's what he was for her. Her oxygen. And it stoked the deep fire in her soul that burned so fiercely inside her. A fire she didn't even know existed. A fire that burned only for him.

He was the breath she had always needed. The one she had been searching for her whole life. And twenty-three years ago, she unknowingly found it. Found him. No wonder it was so effortless to become so completely in sync with each other.

He felt her lips part slipping her tongue in his mouth taking a big breath in through her nose. It was like she was trying to inhale him deeper and deeper. Who was he to stop her? He felt her widen her legs and rock herself into him. His body reacted to hers and his hips thrust into her, sliding his already hard cock along her core.

Her low deep keening moan shot right through him. She was mewling with her desire for him.

"Hmmm… "she hummed sliding her tongue against his. Elliot broke their kiss taking in a sharp breath needing oxygen… craving a moment to just look at her. He put his forehead to hers needing to keep their connection transcendent.

Last night had really hit him hard. Hearing her story… knowing the details of the terror she went through… the pain. He knew Liv… he remembered the months after her stint undercover at that prison and it killed him that it took years for her to finally tell him what happened in the basement of that prison.

He knew that sexual assault and rape were things that change you. He'd seen it in victim after victim. They were never the same. The only difference was how they dealt with it. Some got justice and it made it easier to live with it. Others didn't. Some were consumed by it, never able to move on.

He knew she got help after Sealview, and he knew she was seeing a therapist now. She had mentioned it during their first weekend together. She had asked about how his therapy was going and mentioned she also has one. He didn't know at the time why she had started seeing him. He just figured it had to do with the job. She had mentioned her appointments were now only monthly.

That knowledge only quelled his guilt a fraction. He knew she was tough. Tougher than everyone. But to go through that… what he did to her. That had to have taken a toll on her.

"Hmmmm… El…"

Her lust-soaked moan of his name brought him back to her. Olivia arched her head back and bit her bottom lip, her fingertips gripping his biceps. Elliot slowly slid his cock between her hot wet folds and the sound that came out of her sent a shiver throughout his body.

"Stop being a tease…" she said swiping her bottom lip with her tongue and her hands trailed down his arms and up over her breasts. She was on fire here, like a five-alarm fire and Elliot was acting like it was only a small kitchen fire.

Elliot growled low and deep in his chest watching her touch herself. She knew what that did to him.

"Now who is being a tease…" he said, his deep voice heavy with a mixture of sleep and heat. She flashed him a half smile before pinching her nipples a little, sending her head back into her pillow with a moan, arching her chest up into him.

In one fell swoop he pulled himself back, thrust himself deep inside her and latched his mouth to her earlobe. He felt her thighs tremble and a deep sensual moan left those perfect lips of hers.

Even though nothing was sexier than Olivia touching herself, it still made him jealous that he wasn't always the one causing her to moan. The only one. He wanted to always be the only one. He prided himself in trying to hear every facet of her voice thick with pleasure.

He stilled once inside her, waiting for the initial edge of the beginnings of her orgasm to come back down. Her breathing was heavy, and little high breathy sounds were coming out of her. Her hands came up over the back of his head and she turned giving him access to her neck.

"Ughhh… El… I need…I need you…"

She couldn't even finish her sentence. He was keeping her right on the edge by not moving. And damn him… just… damn.

She felt him smile on her skin as he made his way up her jaw and across her chin to the other side. She was melting and needed friction… the only kind of friction no one but Elliot could provide for her.

"El…" she sucked in a breath as his mouth pulled in her other earlobe, and she grit her teeth and tried to rock herself against him, needing to feel all of him sliding in and out of her. He laughed at her a little in between sucking on her ear and kissing the soft skin of her neck.

"Goddammit…" she said. She was falling off the edge of the earth in slow motion, and all she wanted was the indescribable free fall of them together, and he hadn't even moved yet. It was driving her mad. Part of her was angry he was dragging this out, her need for him insatiable at this point and another part of her never wanted to leave here.

The insanity he was slowly driving her to, won out.

"Pllleeeaaasssseeee…." She murmured begging, "Baby… please…"

Jesus fucking Christ. He wasn't sure if she even knew what she was doing to him anymore, but the sound of her voice calling him baby pulled all his breath from his body and made every last drop of blood in his body shoot straight to his cock.

He pulled out and pushed his way back into her tight wet walls, this time moaning with her, feeling the delicious friction they both wanted. He moved his lips to hers taking that bottom lip she teased him with earlier in-between his teeth and sucked, then taking her mouth over with his tongue.

He felt her begin to tighten with the pace he was setting, and she moaned into his mouth, pulling her knees up. She ripped her mouth from his.

"Oh! Oh! Oh yes… El… I'm gonna come…" she breathlessly yelped.

He would never get tired of hearing her say his name in the throes of an orgasm he was responsible for.

"Ughh yes Liv… come for me baby…" he rasped and lifted his head up to look at her face as she came unglued.

Her hands moved under his arms and wrapped themselves up on his shoulder blades. His last thrust was hard and hit every right spot inside her and she saw stars as her orgasm hit her. Her nails raked down his back, scraping his skin and sending him over the edge with her.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot sat on her bed, watching her in the blue morning light move around her bedroom digging around for something to wear. It didn't matter what she wore, she would look beautiful. She moved into the bathroom, throwing her clothes on the chair by her closet, and he heard her turn the sink on and start brushing her teeth.

He got up and threw on his briefs and pulled his pants on leaving them unzipped before moving into the bathroom with her. The stark lighting made him blink a few times, but then once his eyes focused, he looked at the beautiful naked woman who was standing at the sink rinsing her mouth. His heart dropped as he noticed the bruises on her neck and thighs, and the dark purple marks on her breasts.

He had really been rough with her the other night. The night she showed up half naked at his door and drove him to insanity. He had taken her. Taken her lips and skin and heart and soul. And she had let him. She had wanted it. She asked him to make it hurt. And he hadn't disappointed her. He had gripped her so hard, pulled her hair… left deep bruises and welts on her golden skin.

Flashes of the crime scene photos and her hospital photos hit his mind. His stomach flipped. He didn't mean to leave so many marks on her. Anyone who saw these would think…

He swallowed hard. It rattled him to think of her trauma, and here he was leaving similar marks on her body. Even though there was loved laced in all these bruises he had left… it still left him feeling unsettled.

"El… you ok?" Olivia asked, now staring at him through the mirror.

His eyes met hers in the reflection and he quickly traded in his guilty look for a soft warm smile.

"Yea… never better. Are you?" he asked, and he moved behind her lightly kissing her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her. He looked back to her eyes in the mirror.

"Very…" she said smiling at him.

She took a second, questioning what she thought she had seen in his eyes before she said his name. Then she decided maybe he was just tired. She was too. But they needed to get Noah off to school soon.

She brought her hand to his face as he swayed with her at her bathroom counter. "You want to get breakfast started and I'll go wake up Noah?" she asked.

"I'd love to." He said kissing her palm and turning to walk away to finished getting dressed.

She linked her hand with his, keeping him from getting too far away from her. He turned back to her.

"I promised Noah we'd both take him to school… and then you and I have all day to…" and she paused looking down at him, and trailing her eyes up his body, "…do whatever we want." She finished.

He shivered at all the possibilities of what "whatever" meant.

"You don't have to work?" he asked.

"No… Fin told me if I needed a little time… he'd be more than willing to cover for me. I don't have to go back till Sunday."

"Perfect…" he said smiling. She squeezed his hand. There was something eating at him, and she could tell. She wasn't sure what. Maybe it was all the details of last night hitting him again, and she hoped he wouldn't dwell for too long. She wanted to enjoy these next two days with him and forget the past.

"El… I love you…" she said tentatively.

He came back to her, putting his lips to hers, slowly kissing her. He could hear the caution with which she said that. He could tell she was questioning herself, or maybe him for everything from last night and that was the last thing he wanted. His arms slid around her and moved down to the top of her ass. He slowly pulled away and moved her hair from her face and looked deep into those deep soulful eyes of hers.

"I love you too beautiful."