Dick Wolf owns everything

Belonging

Elliot went to use the bathroom and Olivia followed him back into her bedroom. She removed her robe and fished through the things El brought back with him. She found one of his old t-shirts. She brought it to her nose, never tiring of the smell of him, and breathed it in. She recalled all the times in the past where he stood so close to her, and his scent filled her nose. How much she wanted to turn her head into him and breathe him in, but she couldn't.

Now though… she could. She could smell and touch and taste all of him… anytime she wanted. That knowledge filled her with contentment. She brought it down from her nose and looked at it.

Yup… she was keeping this one. It was one of her favorites. It was dark grey, faded from hundreds of washes, the print of the Led Zeppelin logo missing pieces here and there. Honestly, she couldn't believe he still had it. Her mind flashed back to a memory of the first time she saw him in it.

It was a Saturday… early on in their partnership and Cragen had called them both in. He had been out doing yard work at Kathy's request or trying to according to what he was telling the Captain on his way in and when he gazed her direction, he saw the look on her face. Until then all she saw him in was suits. Looking at him in a band t-shirt made him look… younger, a little dangerous, and less… heavy with responsibility. It was like getting a rare glimpse of the Elliot she didn't know. And Elliot she couldn't have. She couldn't look away, and she knew he felt it then.

"What?" He had said questioning her. A faint smile tugging on his lips.

She of course she said nothing, shrugging her shoulders and hurriedly looked away feeling her blush creep in. After that she noticed he wore it a few times, and then kept it in his locker at work. Now she wondered if he left it there because of what he saw in her face. The thought sent little butterflies into her stomach.

But it wasn't in there the day she had to clean out his locker. When he disappeared…

She wondered if he took it to Rome with him, or if he left somethings behind in storage somewhere. Normally this line of thinking would trigger her abandonment issues, but she didn't feel any overwhelming tension or squeezing of her heart anymore. He wasn't leaving her again. She was sure of that.

She slipped it on over her head and smiled feeling it cover her skin.

"Hey Liv…" Elliot shouted from the bathroom.

"Yea El... what is it?" She said walking over to the entrance of the bathroom leaning on the door frame.

Then she saw it and laughed.

Elliot was leaning over the sink trying to fix the mirror that was hanging crooked, and her wall had a big gouge in the drywall from the countertop that was askew from its original position on top of the wooden drawers and cabinets. That was the cracking sound she heard.

They had broken her sink.

And it was worth every amazing second.

Elliot got the mirror back in place and moved to look at her wall.

"El…" she said chuckling, "It's ok… I'll just call someone to fix it."

"What? No… I can fix it…" he said moving the countertop carefully back in place. He nudged it and it wobbled.

"I'll just have to get my tools sometime and fix it."

"Hmmm… you in a tool belt… fixing things… that's hot…" she said arching her eyebrow at him, a smirk across her face.

He smiled and looked up at her. "You'd like that huh?" he said, his smile widening.

Normally she'd roll her eyes at his obvious bolstering ego, but the look in his eyes as he smiled at her just filled her heart with love.

"Hmm… yes… there's lots of things around here that could use your… attention…" she said, her lips curling into a smile at her inuendo as she moved closer to him.

Elliot stood up taking Olivia by the hand and pulling her in close to him. His hands slid down over her ass that was barely covered by his shirt. There was just something about seeing her in his clothes that did something to him. Of course, she would have found this one. He remembered like it was yesterday when they had both been much younger and been called in. The way her eyes widened just the slightest bit as she looked him over in that shirt.

He would have taken it off and given it to her right then and there if it wouldn't have made him look crazy. He remembered thinking maybe he saw a hint of attraction in her eyes. It sparked heat in his veins, and it was enough for him to make sure he always had it handy at work.

"There's only one thing in this apartment that has my full attention…" he said softly. Every time their eyes connected it took his breath away. He would forever be in her debt. She had forgiven him and let him into her mind and heart and life and Noah's… and for that he would be forever grateful.

She had his full attention. She had always had it.

She smirked at his remark looking up at him under her lashes, and then down to his lips. She raised her eyebrow and pulled the corner of her bottom lip in her mouth.

"Oh… and what would that be?" she questioned, already knowing the answer. She looked back up into the eyes of a man who she'd do anything for. A man who she loved deeper than words could ever describe… the only real, true man that had ever been in her life.

"My heart…" he said, his voice deep, unfaltering.

Liv felt her breath hitch as El brought his hand up to her face, threading his fingers in her hair, brushing it off her cheek. It would never get old. This flame between them had been burning for what seemed like forever, and she knew it would never burn out.

"You're my heart Liv…" he said as if to reassure her. But she didn't need him to. His eyes were bright and shining. So blue and comforting, all encompassing, and truthful.

And he could see in her eyes she believed him. Pure love and trust. Even if she still didn't think she deserved to be loved as completely as he loved her, she trusted in his love for her. But it was ok. He had no other plans for the rest of his life other than showing her she deserved to be loved. Loved in every way. Loved for who she is, and nothing less would be acceptable.

This wasn't a job he would walk away from when it got hard. Or an obligation that would eventually slip through the cracks. It wasn't a job at all. She wasn't a responsibility to be handled, or a case to be solved and then shelved. She was his heart, his life, his love… his pain, his sorrow… his secrets… his soulmate. She was the hand in the dark he reached for. The hand he knew would always be there. The one person who always stood by him. Weathered the storm.

There never was anyone else.

It was always her, and every second of everyday he has spent with her since he came back cemented his firm belief, one he had felt the moment they met, that she truthfully is the one true love of his life. They were in this together. Forever connected in this life and any other. Nothing could have been this staggering, or hard, or painfully earned if it wasn't meant to be.

Olivia's pulse started to race, and her heart skipped. Elliot truly was the sweetest man she'd ever known. She didn't question what he just said to her. It was real and honest. A truth she never thought she'd understand until she met him, and then spent decades wishing it could be more than just her truth alone. Little did she know it had been his truth as well throughout all the years of their partnership, and in their ten years apart.

She lifted herself up on her toes to reach his lips. She molded herself into him. She fit there perfectly. Like his body was made to be pressed up against her, and her body was made to fit into his. Everything about them just… fit. The slide of his hands on her skin, the melding of their lips together, how her arms moved seamlessly around his neck.

He turned them leaning his back up against her sink, his hands sliding down to her ass and gripping her, pulling her up into him. But the sink had other ideas.

The countertop shifted again, hitting her wall making a scraping sound and the wood underneath groaned in protest resulting in the ending of their kiss in laughter. Elliot held her tight to him, not wanting her to fall due to the broken sink.

"Ok, let me at least finesse this countertop enough so it won't keep sliding… at least until I can fix it." El said releasing her, moving his hands back to the counter.

Olivia kissed his cheek and said, "Ok… I'll go get the french toast started… quit breaking my furniture sweets…" and she laughed when he smacked her on her ass as she exited the bathroom.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

After Elliot fixed the sink the best he could, he wandered into Olivia's bedroom. He had noticed the bag he had packed was empty sitting on the chair in the corner. He looked around for where his clothes might have gone, and he noticed some of his toiletries were sitting on top of her dresser. He moved over to it and opened the top right drawer. What he found jumpstarted his heart.

Black lace, deep purple satin… red silk, and a whole bunch of other things that were making his mouth water. He had never pegged her as the type of woman to have a lot of lingerie, but he was pleasantly surprised she was. Except he didn't want to think about all the other men who she might have bought these for, or who might have seen her in them.

Well, he thought, he did owe her some new lingerie from the other night when he had been impossibly impatient. She had to of bought that sheer black lace bustier and matching thong just for him, and the thought sent a shiver down his spine. Maybe he would just have to buy her a whole new drawer full of things… things he could take off slowly with his teeth… things he could rip off her body. Things she could wear under her pant suits so only he would know what was underneath the flawless and classy Captain Benson exterior.

Oh boy he thought. He was going to work himself up again, and he didn't want her to walk in here and see him looking like a creep, so he closed the drawer and opened the next one. He found his clothes neatly folded and organized. She must have hung his dress shirt and pants in her closet. He looked over to where it was and saw his dress shoes right next to the door. He smiled and felt the warmth that is having the love of Olivia wash over him. There was something incredibly sweet about her making room for him in her dresser and closet. Something… so… permanent.

He wanted to make this officially permanent. He felt his deep yearning to make an honest woman out of her bubble up inside him. But he knew he needed to take a breath. It was too soon. His kids didn't even know, except for Kathleen, and once things were settled Eli was going to come back to live with him in his apartment. There were so many things that needed to be worked out and talked about, it wasn't the time to impulsively propose to her. It was too soon, and yet he felt like twenty-three years too late.

He took a deep breath in trying to clear his head, and he could smell the sweet scent of cinnamon french toast. He closed the drawer and grabbed the toiletries and moved them into the bathroom and made his way out to Olivia.

In the hallway he could hear she had turned the radio on. And if he wasn't mistaken, he could hear her singing along to the song on the radio.

He peeked around the corner and saw the most beautiful sight.

Olivia was standing at her counter dipping a piece of bread in the french toast mixture, dancing slightly as she sang along with the song on the radio. She had twisted her hair up into a clip with a few tendrils hanging down around her face and her neck.

She hadn't seen him yet, so he took a moment to just watch her. She was happy. She was more than happy. He could see the light radiating brilliantly out of her. He knew he was partially responsible for it, but he couldn't take all the credit. It was just who she is. She had been through some of the worst things life could throw at a person, and persevered. She didn't let the darkness, or her own demons drag her down. She fought tooth and nail to make it out from under the merciless grip of tragedy. She did that. On her own.

She was the sun in the universe, and he was just happy to finally be back in her orbit.

Olivia turned to put the dipped bread on the frying pan taking the cooked one off, stacking it on top of the other pieces she had already made.

He looked at the kitchen island and saw two plates, syrup, cut up strawberries, and whipped cream. All he could think about now was licking the whip cream off her body at some point. That was definitely something they needed to do.

He moved into the kitchen and closed his arms around her from behind. Olivia was still singing softly to the song on the radio, and she tilted her head to his as he leaned over her resting his chin on her shoulder.

She was flipping the french toast in the pan and her foot was still tapping to the music. He decided he needed to dance with her. The first and last time they danced was at Fin's wedding and at the time it wasn't the happiest moment, so now seemed like a great opportunity to change that.

Elliot waited till she set the spatula down, and then he turned her by the waist, grabbing her hand and spinning her out before pulling her back into him. He turned them, taking her by the waist dancing them around her kitchen.

"El… what are you doing…" she said, a smile on her face as he continued his smooth moves.

"Dancing with you…" he said smiling back at her. He spun her out again, and this time when he pulled her back into him, he dipped her, which resulted in her beautiful laughter and the fullest Olivia Benson smile he'd ever seen. It was like being in the presence of an angel.

He pulled her back up, and she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him close to her as he slowed down and swayed with her.

"Those are some smooth moves you got there." She said eyeing him.

"Just call me Casanova…" he said grinning as he slid his hands lower down her back.

Olivia laughed at him and rolled her eyes. Only Elliot would call himself Casanova after a few slick moves in her kitchen. Olivia pulled him to her lips and kissed him softly.

"Ok Casanova…." She said smirking at him.

Just then her cell phone rang. She let out a pouty sigh, gave Elliot a quick kiss and moved to go answer her phone.

"Hey El, can you grab the french toast before it burns?" she asked as she picked up her phone.

"Sous-chef Casanova at your service…" he said, and she smiled at him as she answered her phone.

"Benson…" she said.

It was Amanda.

"Hey Captain. Hope I'm not bothering you." Amanda said.

"What's up Rollins?" Olivia said, wanting to get back to the half-naked Elliot in her kitchen.

"Everything is fine here at the house. I was just wondering if you and Noah had any plans tonight?" she asked.

"Oh? Well, nothing set in stone, why?" Liv said, curious what Amanda could be about to ask.

"Well, Sonny got tickets to the baseball game for the girls and I tonight, but we caught a new case… which so far looks to be pretty solid, but I'm gonna be here late, so I was wondering if maybe Noah would like my ticket?"

Olivia perked up, knowing how excited Noah would be. She had promised him they would go to a Major League game sometime but work always seemed to get in the way.

"Sure… he would love that, Amanda. But are you sure Sonny will be ok with three kids all by himself?" she said, a little laughter in her voice.

Amanda laughed. "He will be fine… he seems to have a knack with kids. How he always seems to get Jesse to eat her vegetables I'll never know." Amanda said.

"Well Noah has baseball practice till six at his school, but if it's alright with Carisi, he can just pick up Noah from practice."

"I'm sure that would be fine." She said.

"Great, I'll call his school and let them know he will be picking Noah up, not me."

"Ok. And it will probably be late by the time the game is over, if you're ok with it, he can just spend the night with us, and maybe… You and… uh… Elliot could come join us for breakfast when you pick up Noah."

A slow smile creeped across Liv's face. The idea of a Friday night with Elliot all to herself sounded too good not to jump at. She knew they wouldn't always have time like this, and she did promise Noah a full day of whatever he wanted to do with her and Elliot tomorrow, so she didn't feel so bad not seeing him tonight.

"Sure… that sounds like a plan." Olivia said.

"Perfect… I'll make sure Sonny or Noah lets you know when they get to the game."

"Ok thanks Amanda."

"See you tomorrow, Captain." She said.

"Yep, see you tomorrow." Liv said and hung up the phone.

Elliot had finished up the french toast, cleaned up the pan and moved everything over to the table. He had also made some coffee and poured some for her.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked after Liv made her way back to him.

He pulled out her chair for her, and she kissed him on the cheek before she sat down. Elliot took the chair beside her.

"Yea, that was Rollins, she called to ask if Noah wanted to go to a baseball game with Carisi and her two daughters."

"Is it his first pro game?" Elliot asked.

"Yea, he's going to be ecstatic." Olivia said smiling as Elliot placed two pieces of french toast on her plate and handed her a full cup of coffee.

"I'm sure he will be." El said smiling as he started fixing his plate.

"And…" she said taking a sip then placing her cup down, "Amanda asked if Noah would want to spend the night since the game will be over late…" Liv said, a slow smile crossing her face. Elliot looked at her and could see the sin burning in her eyes.

"So that means…. We have a Friday night all to ourselves Casanova…" she said, taking a slice of a strawberry and bringing it to her mouth.

God, how he wanted to be that strawberry. He had never envied a piece of fruit so much in his life.

"Hmmm… what did you have in mind…" he said, watching her lips as she ate another piece of strawberry.

Olivia arched her eyebrow at him and tilted her head. "Well… maybe I'll let you buy me a drink somewhere… and then maybe we can… move some more of my furniture…" she said biting her bottom lip.

Elliot felt the spark in his veins that was undeniably Olivia.

"I can hardly wait…" he said, and he took a slice of strawberry and fed it to her.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

After they were finished eating, Elliot helped Olivia clean up the kitchen. They then moved into her living room and picked up the things that fell off her coffee table from their little adventure on the living room floor earlier. It was late in the afternoon and both of them, despite the coffee, were feeling a little tired.

Elliot sprawled out on her couch, taking Olivia's hand pulling her down on top of him. Elliot lazily smoothed his hands over her back as he cocooned her into him. They laid there, in the quiet of her apartment and after a few minutes she could tell he had fallen asleep.

She smiled to herself listening to him breathe. She shifted slightly, moving a little bit over to his side and she felt his hands grip her tighter.

This…

The quiet… except for his breathing and the beat of his heart was what she had always fantasized about with Elliot. She had plenty of fantasies that included all sorts of things she wanted to do with him, and things she wanted him to do to her… but they all ended the same way. His arms around her, holding her in the still quiet moments after.

She didn't need his validation. It wasn't about needing to be told she was important to him. It was about her need to feel like she belonged.

She had always been an outsider. On her own. And her longing to be a part of… a family… had always been deep seeded in her heart and soul. And once she met Elliot, and been partnered with him, she felt the connection of family with him. It was immediate. He was her family. But… he had his own family, and maybe that's why she always pushed so hard for him to go home at night… see his kids… be with his wife. He had what she wanted… and she wanted it with him.

But she was the piece that didn't belong in that equation. And when she was with El at work, that was her reality. That was her universe.

When she went home… to no one… it was like being in a parallel universe.

It was lonely there.

It was the stillness… the quiet that would seep into her. It brought with it all her own demons… her insecurities… the darkness surrounding the thoughts she worked so hard to push away would always creep silently into her mind. Sometimes it felt like it might eat her alive.

All she wanted was to belong. Belong somewhere… with someone… with… Elliot.

It was always Elliot.

And now as she laid with him, she felt the quiet and the stillness… but it was filled with ease… hope… peace… serenity…

Belonging.

She belonged.

She belonged to him, and he belonged to her. And for the first time in her life, she truly welcomed the silent stillness surrounding her… because she belonged there.

She belonged in his arms.