Thank you for the review, Princess Rosalind of Underland

If anyone wants amusement check out the reviews from the braime troll. I probably can't say here who is behind them, but hint, their ao3 name has the words cat and rio in it. This crazy person posts hate in the JC tags all the time, but a simple meme I posted to instagram and tagged JB in caused them to go off the deep end. The meme was this: instagram dot com /

p/Cf2WuIgO6Zt/

Basically it was a meme with Jaime and Cersei both looking amused and it said "When your ship is endgame and you get to swim in all the haters tears." I guess it hit too close to home for them cause they spent 4 days after I posted it posting hundreds of anon reviews, plus reviews from 3 different registered user accounts of theirs all basically saying that Jaime loves Brienne, Jaime went back to Cersei to ensure she died, etc. Oh and my favorite, that the JC ship died in season 3 when Jaime had his bath with Brienne. Because you know, JC totally didn't get back together after that or anything.

Now as for their insane theory on why I wrote this fic, nope. I actually wrote it years ago and posted it back on ao3 then. It was written because they'd post fics in our tag all the time, yet the hypocrites would bitch whenever a non JB endgame fic appeared in their tag. Thus this fic was born.

I've chosen to leave all of their crazy comments here for your amusement.

Here is their longest and most amusing review, which I'll reply to here.

Jaime️Loves️Brienne️
This is so pathetic that you have to change the story to try to fit your ridiculous delusional narrative into what really happened!
Jaime slept with Brienne (for over a month) because she was the woman he truly loved. He was done with Cersei and ready to declare his real love. He only went back to Kings Landing he when he discovered that Cersei was psycho enough to try to have him killed, and Brienne would never be safe while Cersei lived. He stayed in the North while Cersei was losing and would have needed him. He only left after Cersei ambushed Dany's troops, started to win, and posed a threat to Brienne. His face as he tried to leave Brienne in the courtyard was not the face of a man who wanted to leave. His face when he returned to Cersei was not the face of a man who wanted to be there. He never declared his love for Cersei, never even kissed her. He was a shell, a dead man, just regurgitating her own words back to her. He dragged her through the Red Keep to where he knew they would both die. He had been mortally wounded by Euron and knew he'd be unable to return to his true love, Brienne! Why would he just stop and let the rubble bury him and Cersei. Jaime Lannister never stopped. He charged a dragon on the Gold Road, for f*ck sake. Nothing ever just stopped him. But he did stop. He held Cersei under the debris knowing they would both be killed. He wanted that. Jaime Lannister was the Valonqar!

You and your sick twisted incest nonsense is pathetic. How sad!

1. We don't know that it was over a month. Only that it was more than once. The first time he slept with her he was drunk. When you are drunk you often do things you regret, and the regret on his face the next morning was obvious to anyone with eyes. Don't you think that if he actually loved her, and if the show wanted us all to know, that they would have had him be sober at least? Or more importantly, shown him telling her he loves her, a sweet kiss at any point other than right before the drunken sex, or any sort of affection or words of love/commitment between the two? Instead what you got was him looking over at her the next morning with a hard face of regret to indicate to all of us with eyes that it was a drunken mistake. One he, trying to be a man of honor felt obligated to continue, until he no longer could fool himself and admitted that he would never love her the way he does Cersei. He never even looked back at her as she begged him to stay. If there was any time for him to confess his feelings and explain himself, it would have been then. He also didn't care enough about her to even ask Tyrion how she was faring. Instead he was 100% focused on Cersei. Again, if the writers wanted to drive the point home that Jaime loved Brienne, all they needed to do was have him ask about her and sadly say "I loved her." But nope. Jaime didn't even spare her a thought. So once again, canon is against you.

2. He didn't go back after Cersei sent Bronn to kill him. He stayed a while more. He went back when Sansa said "I always wanted to be there when they execute your sister." Because he knew Cersei would die if he didn't save her. He knew he would likely die too, but he loved Cersei and choose death with her over life with Brienne. That's how strong his love was. I don't get why you can't see the obvious.

3. His face? Uh can you even read emotion? He literally stared at her for a minute straight he was so overcome with love when he reunited with her. He's never looked at Brienne with love. Only regret. Especially in his morning after scene with her. Compare that to his morning after scene with Cersei.

4. He was too concerned with getting Cersei out of their to declare his love at first. But he did when he knew there was no way out. "Nothing else matters. Only us." Remember those words? They're JC's way of saying "I love you." And why would he kiss her, he was focused on comforting her as they died. A romantic kiss would be inappropriate.

5. Why would he stop? Are you stupid? The path out was blocked. He wouldn't likely be able to dig them out, and even if they could find a safe spot to not get hit, what then? Dying of thirst. He had no reason to think anyone would be coming to rescue them.

6. "He held Cersei under the debris knowing they would both be killed. He wanted that. Jaime Lannister was the Valonqar!"

He is/will be the valonqar in the books, but that part was left out of the show. I'm confident that in the books they will die together as well, hence why they did here. It's very likely that in the books he will try to rescue her (like in the show), and fail, and then kill her in mercy to save her from Daenerys or whoever elses wrath, then kill himself. All the clues are there, only unlike the "clues" you invent this has canon evidence.

"And then what happened?" asked Jaime curiously.

"Well, by this point I was feeling uneasy about the whole thing with Bronn. My septa had told me how it would hurt and Bronn didn't sound like he would give a shit...excuse my language. This wasn't as worrisome to me as Bronn's earlier talks with me though."

"What earlier talks?"

"For some reason, he wanted to know what Tarth was like and whether I had my own castle. He seemed rather obsessed with it."

"How...odd," replied Jaime feigning ignorance.

"Indeed. So at this point, I wasn't sure what to say or do. I stammered out to Tormund's question that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. He then replied that perhaps he and I should go on a walk alone together and get to know each other. I told him as I barely knew him I was not comfortable going off alone with him. Bronn jumped in saying "Ah the fuck with it, if I ain't gonna be fucking you tonight I mine as well escort you on your walk." After some time walking and making small talk, Tormund informed us that there was something he wanted to show us. The three of us walked for over an hour before we arrived at a large cave. That's when things began to get very bizarre."