Thank you all so much for reading... really it means so much... I love you all

Dick Wolf owns everything

You'll Know

Elliot and Olivia let Noah decide what he wanted to do the rest of the day. He had decided on going to the movies. So, they spent their afternoon eating popcorn and red vines. Noah between them, stealing a kiss here and there, sharing looks, and holding hands over the back of his seat.

They had stopped at a little restaurant for dinner, and Noah had fallen asleep in the booth before his dessert came.

It was every afternoon/evening he'd always wished they could have had back in the past with her, their own child. And even though he knew that yearn would never fully go away, he wouldn't have changed this moment with her and Noah for anything.

He loved Noah. Noah was his in every sense of the word. This little boy had his heart and made him laugh constantly. He couldn't imagine not being there for him. Being there for them. It was all he wanted to do. He wondered if, maybe once they moved in, and gotten things settled with his children, and work… and maybe once he had the time to ask her to marry him, the subject of adopting Noah could be brought up.

He didn't want to just outright ask her. He knew it meant the world to her that Noah loved him just as much as she did. If Noah had been against it…against him in anyway, he would have been doomed. Doomed to spend the rest of his life without knowing what it would to finally be whole.

But lucky for him they had clicked right away. Noah was bright, and sweet, and thoughtful… questioning everything. Sucking up information and making his own decisions on how he felt, and truly becoming himself. He would have given anything to have the room to be himself growing up.

Olivia was an amazing mom.

Not that he didn't love his mother, but the relationship was strained. It was something, as the older he got, something he wanted to change. And now with Liv and Noah, he felt determined to try.

And his father… well that was a whole other story. What he wouldn't have given to just get even so much as a hug from him. Or a "I'm proud of you son" but that had never happened. And he spent so much of his time trying not to be his father, that he didn't see the signs. Didn't see that parts of his father were seeping into him. The way he treated Kathy later in their marriage. He followed through and did the right thing when she had gotten pregnant, and for a long time it was good, but just like his father should have left his mother for both of their sakes, he didn't leave Kathy when he should have.

Just like his father, quick to anger, he had also let his rage get the better of him with his children. Never trusting Maureen, being too hard on Dickie and quick to scream at him when he did something stupid. Turning a blind eye to Kathleen's sickness, not wanting to believe it and hoping ignoring it would change reality.

But of course… Liv was the one who had saved him. Saved his marriage then, saved his relationship with Kathleen, and much later after he learned she had gone to see his mother, saved his fragile relationship with her.

Liv was all the glue that held him together. She always had been. And completely unselfishly so. He really did owe her his life. And he really didn't deserve her. But he would never question how he ended up with this second chance, and more importantly never take it for granted. He would never let go of it either.

They were walking back to the car, Liv holding his hand, El carrying a sleeping Noah on his hip and draped over his shoulder, and it hit him so hard right in his heart. This is where he belonged. Liv by his side, her son… and hopefully soon their son, asleep in his arms. He stopped by the car, turning to Liv, and just looked at her.

"What El?" She said, her eyes light and full of peace.

"I love you Liv… like…" and he shifted a sleeping Noah in his arm as his emotions got stuck in his throat, "I am so in love you… it's overwhelming sometimes."

Her eyes became immediately glassy. She smiled that brilliant smile of hers, one he'd been accustomed to seeing and wanted to see all the time and brought her palm to his face.

"I am so in love with you too… and I have been… for so many years…" she whispered. Elliot sucked in a deep breath because it was too much. It was too much emotion to think about their past and how they got here, and words wouldn't do it justice. Nothing he could say would explain or describe how he felt about her.

He moved in to kiss her, bringing their lips together softly and sparks flew. The current of chemistry and love between them rivaled any power source, natural or man-made. They had nothing on the power that existed when they were together. The life they were making was infinitely stronger than either of them had apart.

He would never tire of kissing her. Kissing her slow, sinking into it. With tongue… without tongue… it didn't matter. Kissing her cheek, her temple… her nose, the corner of her lip when she was smiling. Whether it was a peck or lots of pecks, or deep and passionate, intense… burning. It didn't matter.

He loved kissing her in places that drove her crazy. Places that made her feel sexy, sensual, sultry… because she most certainly already was all those things. Like under her ear, her collar bone, her nipples, the crease in her thighs… dipping his tongue into her wet folds, tasting and sucking her sensitive bud. The way she gripped his head, keeping him right where she wanted him when he drove her mad with his mouth was the most intimate and pleasure filled feeling.

And he equally loved kissing the places she hated. Kissing her scars… loving every part she was insecure about… every part of her body that caused her pain or reminded her of something she didn't want to think about. He loved all of her so completely, scars and all, that even what she thought was ugly, he found beautiful because it was her. And she was exceptionally beautiful.

All of her.

He pulled back slowly feeling Noah starting to wake up. Her beautiful brown eyes were honied, and soft. Gleaming brilliantly back at him, making his heart melt.

"Are we home yet?" Noah said lifting his head and rubbing his eyes.

"No, not yet bud…" El said. "Here, let's get in the car and you can go back to sleep, ok?"

Noah looked at El and his mom and nodded. Liv opened the door to the backseat, tossing in his backpack and El got him in and settled. Liv was turning to open her door, and El grabbed her arm shutting the door to the backseat stopping her and turning her to him.

He put both hands on her face, looked into her eyes and brought his lips to hers. He instantly took her breath and lips and her arms wound their way around his waist, molding herself to the warm solid frame of Elliot.

When he finally pulled back from her, he looked at her face, full of heat and love and things he couldn't ever describe, he just smiled as he smoothed his thumb across the rosy skin of her cheek.

"Hi beautiful…" he said, the smile on his face growing.

Her smile stretched farther, and her hands gripped him tighter.

"Hi my love…" she said.

His heart… oh his heart.

He pulled her in and kissed the corners of her smile because he could, and it made her smile more. Then he opened her door.

"Let's go home." He said, and it was something so simple. Something he'd said a thousand times in his life, but this time it was different. It was a place where they both would be with Noah and it was a place he'd always wanted to be.

Olivia just smiled and slipped into her seat. She didn't need to say anything. He could tell she was feeling the same kind of happy he was. The same kind of peace.

Elliot rounded the car after he closed her door and got in and started the car. Olivia turned to look at Noah who was now snoring lightly in the backseat and she smiled. She then slipped her hand into his as he pulled out onto the street.

She sat for a moment in the quiet darkness of the car, his thumb rubbing little circles on the top of her hand. Now would be the right time she thought. The right time to ask him if what he said to her in her shower earlier was real or not.

She had wondered about it after their shower, while they were getting ready. Wondered in the car on their way to meet Amanda and Sonny. And then let it slip to the back of her mind while they enjoyed their Saturday.

But she would have to go back to work tomorrow. And there were a million things they needed to do. All this time spent with each other, not needing to answer phones and deal with life, she knew wouldn't last. This was a rare opportunity for them, and she felt like they had used this time in the best way possible.

They had talked about some very important things, gotten through the worst parts and came out stronger. They had fought and fixed it. They had communicated, and made love, and fucked in a lot of public places. She felt heat creep under her skin at the memories from the last couple of days.

They had gone out, eaten with friends, and been normal. It made her realize she could have a normal life. She could have a life. And all the years she spent yearning for that… searching for that… wanting that and never quite getting it… was because there was one piece missing.

Elliot.

Elliot was the one who could give her a life. Give her all the normalcy, all simple gifts life had to offer. All the things most people took for granted. And give her all the passion, and intensity that no one else could ever offer her. He could still surprise her after all the years and heaviness.

He was her life. He had always been. He was the one who could give her everything she ever wanted and more. Things she didn't even know she wanted.

Like a hyphened last name…

She felt her breath hitch a little at that thought. At the possibility of that happening. The real possibility.

"Hey…" she started, clearing her throat a little, and preparing herself for this.

She knew he loved her. Loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone, of that, she was sure. And he had been sending her signals. Kissing her ring finger when she got out of the tub. The way his voice became solid and unyielding when he said certain things to her the last couple of days. The way he'd look at her, like he was imagining her in white… walking down the aisle to him.

But maybe… maybe he had been kidding. Maybe marriage wasn't something he wanted to do again. He had done it once, and now maybe… maybe he was done. It wasn't a huge possibility. But it was still a possibility. And if he was just kidding… she would be ok. It would hurt, sure… since they started this, he had made her feel things she never thought she'd feel. Hell, since he came back into her life, he'd made her feel things. Things she thought she'd never feel again.

All that mattered was he wasn't leaving. He was here for good. He was here with her, and he wanted to be, and it was real.

She could deal with her feelings if marrying him wasn't on the table.

She just needed him in her life, loving her… for the rest of her life.

Married or not.

It was just a piece of paper anyway.

His voice brought her back.

"Yea Liv?" he answered, looking her direction in the dark and then back to the road.

"Earlier… when you said… marry me… you were just kidding right?" she said, and then held her breath because she wasn't sure what he was going to say but her reaction needed to be… controlled. She needed to hear what he said, and let it sink in. Let her mind wrap around it… either way.

He swallowed and let out a breath.

No… he thought. But he didn't want to just come out and say that. The fact she was even asking… told him she was thinking about it, and it caused a swell of emotion and anticipation inside him, but he needed to sus out the situation a little more. Find out where she stood on this… how she felt because this really should be a conversation they have.

Not that if she said it wasn't something she wanted, it would change things. It wouldn't, and he had already come to terms with that. But her starting this… well that was… surprising. In the best way.

"Did you want me to be?" he asked. He knew answering her question with a question was a sure-fire way to get her annoyed with him, but if he didn't sideswipe her question, he would have answered it with complete honesty, and that might have scared her.

"I… well…" she started, clearly trying to figure out exactly what she wanted to say, then she turned to face him. "You didn't answer my question." She said.

He chuckled a little. "You didn't answer mine either." He said.

"Well, I asked mine first…" she said, feeling a little bristly. She had wanted to have this conversation with him, and was mentally preparing herself, and he was being… childish… and pulling her down to his level.

"You're being evasive…" he said, and the corners of his mouth turned up. He wasn't sure why he was having so much fun getting under her skin like this… especially since this was a conversation, he wanted to have with her… but call it old habits.

They tend to die hard.

"You're the one being evasive… El…" she sighed and rolled her eyes at him. "Forget it… just forget I asked." She said. She was starting to get irritated, and she was too tired from the last couple of days. She didn't want to fight with him about something she wasn't even sure was a thing.

Ok ok, he thought. Enough… he was going to remedy this. She sounded a little pissed, and even though he thought she was absolutely adorable angry, something he should probably not tell her because she'd more than likely punch him in the face, he didn't want to push her into a bad mood on purpose. He could do that without trying to.

"Listen Liv… I'm not trying to be evasive. I'm sorry if I… pushed your buttons a little…" he said, and he couldn't keep the smile from his face. She just turned to him in the dark, and he didn't need to look her direction to know the look she had on her face. He could feel those beautiful eyes of hers stinging as they glared at him.

"Even though you are damn cute when you're pissed at me…" he said a little under his breath. Immediately his arm was met with her fist, and it hurt, but he couldn't keep from laughing.

"OW! Ok ok…" he said still chuckling, and rubbing his arm, but he knew she wasn't too pissed at him because when he went to reach for her hand, she didn't pull away, and let him intertwine their fingers.

He heard her huff out her breath. And he knew her lips were pursed. He knew the next thing he said would tell him everything he needed to know. He took a breath, choosing his words in his head before he spoke.

He was glad she had thought he was kidding earlier. After this day, he knew exactly how he wanted to ask her to marry him. And it would be perfect.

So, he stilled his mind and heart, and decided to lay it all out for her. She would undoubtedly know where his intentions lie after this. The ball would be in her court. Her reaction would be everything.

"Liv… when I ask you to marry me you won't have wonder if I'm kidding… you'll know."