Thank you all so much for reading, hope you enjoy. As always, comments and reviews are welcome! I can't believe this has made it to 50 chapters lol...

Dick Wolf owns everything

Being Whole

Liv had shifted in her sleep and woke up when she realized Elliot wasn't next to her or wrapped around her. For a split second there was a sharp slice of panic that shot through her. For that second, she thought, maybe she was dreaming or maybe just maybe she had been dreaming this whole thing, waking up alone, but as she sat up, her eyes adjusted to the dark and she saw Elliot standing by her window.

She let out the breath she was holding. The relief that flooded her slowed the blood and adrenaline that had started to rush through her veins. She looked at him, his hand against her windowsill, looking out into the city.

Her heart sank a little. She knew he was still struggling with all this. Even though she knew he had heard her last night, and she knew he believed in his heart that they were going to make it through this. But she knew better than anyone how doubt seeps through the cracks. Sleep had evaded her on more than one occasion over things like this.

Worry, doubt… fear… they were ugly sharp emotions that were hard to control… and boundless sometimes. Appearing when you least expected, when you thought you were ok and doing better, they could sweep in and wash away all the progress like a wave reclaiming the sand on a beach and pulling it back out into the deep recesses of the ocean. It could make you question just how ok you really were.

But things were different now. They had each other, truly and deeply. It made it easier to fight the demons inside. Knowing someone was in your corner, ready and willing to fight with you… that someone who knew you better than anyone else. That someone who understood, with unwavering support and trust. A soulmate. And hers was Elliot… the absolute love of her life.

And she was his.

And as his soulmate all she wanted to do was comfort him. Comfort him in a way only she could. Help him forget. Forget about Wheatley, forget about all the pain. Remind him of the man he was and is. Let go of the worry… show him she was ok. She had survived a lot worse.

She was tough, a fighter… and she wasn't afraid. He wasn't the first criminal to threaten her, and she was sure, it wouldn't be the last. Of course, there was a little fear there too, fear of the unknown, but she wasn't afraid of Wheatley. She was capable, a good cop, and she knew El knew it.

But she also knew it wouldn't mean he wouldn't be protective.

She's seen his healing firsthand; she knew she was a big part of that. Maybe the biggest part. They were moving into their future, choosing each other, but she also understood how scary it was.

That was also a little of the fear she had.

They were moving into a future together, one she had always dreamed of, one she knew he had dreamed of too… and it was overwhelming how much they both wanted it. This was a chance of a lifetime, and it seemed like it took just as long for them to get to this point. But where there's light, there's also darkness.

The fear of losing him again was always a deep seeded thought in her mind. And after seeing his reaction to what happened to her while he was gone, she knew undoubtedly, he felt the same. Neither one of them could survive this world without each other again, and now it was more cemented and deeper between them than she ever thought possible.

And knowing a madman might possibly be trying to ruin them… well it was daunting.

But she still wasn't afraid of him. She wasn't going to let him dictate how she was going to live her life… or their life. Sure, they would take precautions… that was only the smart thing to do for Noah, for his kids… for his mother. But as far as how she was going to go about her daily life, and El's… that wasn't going to be controlled by anyone but them.

The two of them together had always been stronger than apart. No one was taking this from them. Taking what they had so rightfully and painfully earned.

No one.

"El… you, ok?" she asked softly not wanting to startle him.

His focus quickly shifted to her in the dark.

"Liv... sorry did I wake you?"

"Well, no… not intentionally…" she said, and a soft smile crossed her face.

"What do you mean Liv?" he said turning towards her, still at the window.

"Well, like you said, you don't like to sleep without me… I don't like to sleep without you either." She said and he could feel the tender truth in her voice. He felt the steady thrumming of his heart in his chest pick up at her words reminding him just how deeply they were connected. How much peace just laying next to each other brought both of them.

"I'm sorry Liv… I got up to use the bathroom, and I just wanted to check on Noah… and…" he said pausing looking for the right thing to say.

"I know El… I get it. And you don't ever need to apologize for checking in on Noah. I'm glad you did." She said feeling that now familiar warmth that surrounded her whenever Elliot did anything for Noah.

El stood there in the soft light from the streetlamp looking at Olivia. She was sitting up, half covered in the sheet. He was just about to close the shade when she stood up and made her way over to him.

He felt his heart beat harder in his chest in just those few seconds it took for her to make her way to him. She was so beautiful… and she was his.

Her soft hands made their way around his waist, slipping into the edge of his briefs. He must have put them on to go check on Noah she thought. She hummed quietly as his arms molded themselves around her and she was instantly warmed by his skin. Every time he enveloped her like this it felt relieving. It made her feel safe, loved… whole.

"Liv…" he said, kissing the slide of her head, "The window… we should move." He finished and started to move them, but he felt her stop him.

"No…" she said, her voice clear, and her beautiful brown eyes met his blue ones and he saw the spark there. The intensity he'd always seen in them, and it stopped him short.

"But… Liv…" he said, begging a little. He didn't want to turn this into something, but he also didn't think with everything that happened they should be standing naked in front of a window right now.

"Elliot… I don't care… I'm not afraid of him. No one runs my life but me… and if I want to stand in this window with you… and touch you… love you… then I will."

Elliot felt heat spike in his veins. Her bawdiness was… well arousing to say the least. She had always been this way and it made him smile a little thinking about all the times perps went after her and she had basically given the finger to any detail he tried to put on her. And every time he tried to make it seem like he wasn't checking up on her in circumstances like this, she knew and would make her opinion known.

She had always pushed back against anyone telling her how she should live her life and he liked that about her. She was independent, strong willed, and a damn good cop. All attributes that made him fall in love with her.

And those were the same things he used to turn around to use against her when he was hurting. When he wanted nothing but to just touch her and kiss her… beg to have her wrap her arms around him and make the pain go away, and he couldn't… he'd lash out with anger.

Like when he screamed at her in the hallway during the Gitano case. She had almost died. She could have bled out on the floor and never known how he felt about her, and in that instant, he chose her over that little boy. But she had been ok… and thank God.

Even though he'd never forgive himself for not being able to save that little boy… he still would have chosen her. How could he not have? It really wasn't a choice. And so, he blamed her in his anger. Yelled at her, saying something cowardly like how if she could do her job and not wait for him to come save her that boy would be alive or some bullshit like that.

And the second he said those things he regretted them. He never meant a word of it. He was upset and angry that he had for the first time let all his feelings for her come out of him. The way her name ripped itself from his throat, the utter fear that she was going to die… the mere thought that he had a lifetime's worth of things he wanted to say to her, and suddenly only a few seconds in which to do so was devastating.

It had crushed all the air out of his lungs and sliced him down to the bone.

That case had left them both frayed and raw. They had left so many things unsaid and silently in their own way both faced their feeling for each other when Gitano had that gun pointed at his head.

But in the end, he was the one who stopped it. Stopped himself from saying what he really wanted to say to her, and subsequently stopping her too. Saying they couldn't be partners anymore if they broke down those boundaries… knowing those words would cut her deep.

But he was in a bad place then. His life was falling apart, and he just needed… her. And he couldn't say it. He couldn't take anymore change. And then she left him too. It had been hard, and had surprised him, but he had been ruthless to her, and it had hurt, but he didn't blame her.

In time she came back, and things went back to normal. Well mostly. They had survived that. They had survived his ten-year absence as well. And she had survived the worst thing imaginable… without him.

She had never backed down, and now was no exception. And things were different now. They were in this beautiful place, together… and so in love. They were always stronger together, and now more than ever.

So, the fact she was wasn't backing down… to the threat of Wheatley's or to him right now… was fucking sexy as hell.

She could see he was working things out in his head, but the second his decision was made, his eyes darkened and she knew.

She felt her blood start to pulse a little faster.

"Let him watch…" she said her voice low and husky and she grabbed him by the back of the neck and planted her lips on his.

In seconds she had quelled his worry and fears and taken away his pain.

Just like that.

In an instant… and then there was nothing but heat.

Her tongue sought his out as she lifted herself on her toes to pull herself closer to him, her hands gripped at his skin.

The need he had earlier in the night to hold her and listen to her breathe in his arms had been replaced by pure want now. He could tell hers had as well.

His hands slid down to her ass, pulling her up and into him, and she moaned in his mouth.

This… he thought. This was what he had wanted so many times in the past. Every time things got hard or complicated between them… every time a case hit hard this was what he wanted.

He wanted her in his arms, the push and pull of want… her taking control and then in the next instant, giving it to him to take what he wanted. There were so many nights sleep evaded him because all he wanted to do was this… be with her. He was a little ashamed to admit that even when his marriage was on the rocks, which was honestly a lot since he had met her, he'd lay in bed awake fantasizing about this … or on the couch.

He felt adrenaline rush through him. He could do this now anytime. Anytime he needed her like this, or she needed him, or they needed each other… they could do this now. And it made him feel untamed… feral.

Like a man.

And not in the conventional way. Also not in the misogynic, egotistical way most people connected "being a man" to. No, she made him feel strong, sexy, capable… and trusted… loved. Equal. And having a woman like her love him so much and trust him the way she did was staggering. To be full and honest, open completely to him and with him, unbridled in her desire for him with no games. There was no underlying reason other than she wanted him… all of him, the same way he wanted her, and well if that didn't make you feel like a man, then nothing would.

He kept his grip on her ass, and broke their lips, moving down her jaw and to her neck, licking and sucking, and she loosened her grip on him so she could lean back a little while he had her by her backside pulled tight into him, giving him room to move his mouth down to her breasts.

She was breathing hard, and the second she saw his tongue smooth over the swell of her breast, she moaned and her head fell back a little, her eyes slipped shut as she enjoyed the feeling of his mouth on her.

She bucked her hips into him when he did that thing with his tongue she loved so much as he lavished her right nipple and then moved over to the left to give it the same attention.

As much as he wanted to keep doing the things they were doing, hearing her moan in pleasure, the feel of her clinging to him, he needed more. His urge to be buried deep inside her was sharpening itself like a knife inside him.

He thought about turning her around and having her brace herself on the windowsill, but part of him didn't want to leave her in that position in front of this window in case there was someone out there. Even thought that was part of this little dance they were doing… part of the danger of it, the spark in the darkness that surrounded them, he just couldn't. Or at least not so much of her.

So, he decided the dresser across from the window was better, he could pick her up and set her on it.

They would still be in front of the window, like she wanted, and yet most of his body would be covering her. Covering all the parts of her that were his, that no one else would ever get. Even though he was more than willing to leave the shade up, he still didn't want her to be on full display.

Her skin, her body, her reactions to his body and mouth and tongue… those were his. The moments before, during, and after were his. Watching her climax knowing he was the reason… were his.

She was his.

He moved his hands under her thighs and picked her up. She seemed to be fine with the plan as she held on to him and he moved her and set her on the dresser. He pushed her legs farther apart as he pulled her to the edge of the dresser and rocked his erection into her.

"Oh yes El…." She mewled. Her voice was dripping like honey, thick and sweet with desire. He could feel her wetness already and he rocked again into her heat, sliding against her wet folds and she jerked when he rubbed himself against her core.

She gripped his neck making him look at her and locked her eyes on his.

"Do that again…" she said.

It wasn't a plead… it was a command.

Without breaking their eye contact, he silently followed his orders. He moved his right hand down to grab his cock and guided it down and then back up her opening, rubbing up against her core.

"Oohhhhhh yessssssss…" she choked out closing her eyes and letting her head fall to the side as she flexed her thighs.

Jesus fucking Christ. He absolutely needed to do that again.

He looked down as he watched himself repeat his actions, seeing his cock covered in her. It was almost too much to handle, and he could feel his pre-cum seep out of him. He watched as he mixed their fluids coating both of them.

She moaned again, this time biting her bottom lip as her right hand moved from around his neck down to clit where she let it slide over herself and then him.

His self control was seconds away from being tossed out her window.

"I need you…" he begged. And he was begging. The tone in his voice would almost be embarrassing if it had been someone else, but then again no one but her would ever or could ever elicit this reaction.

He wanted to bury himself inside her and never leave.

She felt him jerk forward a little bit, his control wavering, knowing he was looking for her ok to thrust himself hard into her, which she also desperately wanted, but she needed something else before he fucked her hard.

"Wait…" she said a little breathlessly not pushing him away but not letting him move any closer.

Elliot stilled, his eyes shot like lightning to hers, worried something was wrong but when he saw the dark honied color he knew not to worry.

His tip was barely inside, barley covered by her and it was agonizing, but she told him to wait, so he was going to try his damnedest.

So he waited for her to tell him what to do, the sounds of their ragged breath filling their room.

She gripped the base of his neck tighter as she tried to slow her breathing, checking her own control. She slowly moved her hand from between them, gauging if he was going to stay put and he didn't move an inch.

She replaced her hold with both hands now on his nape. Their noses were inches from one another.

"I want…" she started, and he trembled, his cock twitched causing a spark to shoot up her spine and she felt her ears go hot.

She sucked in a breath and pursed her lips together trying to suppress her urge to moan, knowing it would be the death of him if she didn't and tried again.

"I want you to go slow… I wanna feel every inch of you filling me…" she said her voice on the edge of her own control.

She felt the vibrations in his body when his only response was a growl followed by a hard swallow and he took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly.

He was on fire, ready to set them ablaze but he'd never deny her anything. This was what she wanted, so he wanted it too. He was going to spend his life giving her everything. Especially in bed.

He broke their eye contact and adjusted his hand on himself pulling his tip out.

Instincts took over him and without thinking he let go of himself and brushed his fingers along her, collecting her arousal causing a high breathy moan to escape her and she jerked at his surprise action, already at her maximum level of sensitivity.

He licked his lips out of reflex wanting a taste of her as he looked at the moisture on his fingers.

"Later…" she whispered, and he hummed his compliance and smoothed her juices over himself, giving a few quick strokes to cover his cock in her.

Then he lined himself back up with her entrance and very slowly started to move the tip of himself into her.

"Hmmmmmm… look at me." She commanded through her low moan at just the feeling of him.

His eyes snapped up and they connected, locking themselves away in their own little world where nothing else mattered. It was just him and her. A world no one could ever destroy.

He continued, very slowly, to push his way into her wet folds. He could feel her pulse around him.

It was blowing his mind.

She knew he needed things he couldn't even imagine. Things he never in his wildest dreams could have ever known what he was missing. It was like she was breathing life into his soul.

This feeling… of her throb around him as he slowly stretched her, filled her… was something he was going to be addicted to now.

Her legs started to tremble the tiniest bit, knowing at the end of this she was going to let him pound himself into her and her orgasm that had been clawing at the frayed edges of her mind and body was going to rip her apart.

Her skin was humming, her pulse was racing, and she had never felt more alive and in the moment, and yet every time with him felt this way.

For her there was nothing better than this… because every time was different with him and yet it felt like they had been doing this with each other for a millennium.

"Ohhh yessssss El… yes yes yes yes yes…." She breathed out once he was fully buried deep. She felt his hands flex on her hips, his fingertips digging into her skin.

Both of them were now breathing in short spurts because any quick movements were sending jolts of electricity through both of them, zinging through their veins like little firecrackers before the grand finale.

Then Elliot did something he always seemed to do, and yet it still shook her to her core. He closed the few centimeters between their lips and softly kissed her… their eyes slipping shut. It was simple and tender.

Even in this raw moment before fulfilling their desires to full on ravage each other he found a moment to show her he loved her. That was one of the things she loved most about him. That was Elliot. That was her partner. Even amidst the chaos of SVU and all the cases and their personal lives being in disarray, he always found a moment when she least expected to remind her he cared. It had been his way all along of telling her he loved her… for all those years they were partners.

And for him to still be doing that now, now that they were lovers and partners, and soulmates openly and fully was more than she could ever ask for.

This was what being whole felt like.

When he pulled his lips back, she opened her eyes to find his sparkling back at her with a twist of desire and she felt that familiar tug coil low in her belly.

She didn't need to say anything. He knew. They both were more than ready.

He gripped her hips harder, and she moved her hands over his shoulders finding purchase as he pulled his hips from her, almost slipping out completely before thrusting himself back in hard.

Her hand flew to her mouth to try to cover the scream she let out not wanting to wake Noah as Elliot pounded himself into her again, this time not stopping, setting his pace fast and hard. It was his turn to be in control. And all he wanted was to fuck her until she couldn't walk anymore. Until neither one of them could remember their names.

She clung to him hard, her nails digging into his skin and she brough her mouth close to his ear, her moaning sending every nerve ending in his body into overdrive. The dresser was starting to rattle, and things were shifting as he thrust into her over and over again.

He knew he was close and so was she, but she was starting to slip back farther because the sweat building between them now was making the surface slick. He only had a semblance of control left, and just enough strength to move them because when he came he was going to be as deep as he could possibly be, no exceptions.

So quickly he wrapped both arms around her waist like an iron vise and moved them to the edge of her bed, laying her down and putting his hands on her ribs, pushing her down into the mattress and he started thrusting again. He used his elbows to push her knees out, spreading her open farther for him and then he felt it.

Her walls clamped down on him, and her body started to shake. "I'm coming I'm coming… fuuuccckkkk… ohhh god ohh god… yessss!" she yelped as she grasped his forearms.

He moaned feeling her gripping him from the inside and then he felt the whoosh of warm liquid, and the sloshing sound of what he knew just happened as he continued to thrust into her.

"Oh fuck yesssss baby…" he growled through gritted teeth as he felt his balls tighten, and sparks flew behind his eyes and he jerked hard into her, getting as deep as he possibly could, and then finally spilled himself into her… giving her everything he had. Mind body and soul.