At the News Station
Okay you remember what too say?" Vaggie asked.
"Yes! Let's do this." Charlie said confidently.
"Just look me in the eyes, and I'll mouth it too you." Vaggie said with concern.
"Oh come on Vaggie I know what too say. I just feel like we need too. I don't know make things sound more exciting." Charlie said.
"Ohhhhhh maybe I could.- Charlie said with Vaggie finishing her sentence.
Sing a song about it." Vaggie said.
"You knew I was gonna say that." Charlie said happily.
"Because I know you, but please don't sing. This is serious." Vaggie begged Charlie while shaking her
"Well you know I'm better at expressing myself though song." Charlie said happily while her goat demon servants Razzle and Dazzle eat donuts.
"But life isn't a musical hon." Vaggie then responded.
"Fine, but I have these other ideas of what too say. The highlighted bits are the best part." Charlie said with a giggle.
"Uh it's all highlighted. Is this a drawing?" Vaggie said
"Yes! That's the happy ending see?! Everyone is all smiling and happy in heaven!" Charlie said with joyful happiness.
"I don't think it's that simple. Just please follow the talking points we went over. And do not sing!" Vaggie said sternly.
"Okay fine. I just have to resort to my impeccable info skills."Charlie said walking over too Katie Killjoy.
Vaggie crossed her arms and watched Charlie with concern.
Charlie then introduced herself too Katie bashfully.
"Hi I'm Charlie." She said holding out her left hand.
"Katie Killjoy." Katie said as she crushed her cigarette and blowing some smoke.
"I say it be a pleasure to meet you, but that be a lie. And you can put that away, I don't touch the homos, I have standards." Katie finished speaking.
"Yeah how's...how's that working out for you?" Charlie sort of stutters, while putting both hands behind her back.
"Look my time is money, so I'll keep this short. Your not here because we wanted you here. Your here because Geoffrey couldn't make it for his cannibal cooking sediment." Katie said
"You might be some royal big shot but that doesn't mean crap to me." Katie said while Tom at the News table was shaking his head an annoyance of Katie.
"I'm too rich and influential too a line about what's some tuxedo wearing princess wants to advertise." Katie said, Charlie would have said something but is interrupted by Katie.
"So don't get cute with me honey or I will bury you." Katie said.
"And were Live." A demon cameraman said with Katie jumping back too her seat and breaking neck.
"And were back. So Charlotte." Katie said.
"It's Charlie." Charlie said.
"Whatever. Tell us about this passion project you've been insisting pestering our news station about." Katie said with a force smile.
"Well." Charlie said looking at the crowd with Vaggie encouraging her.
As most of you know I was born here in Hell, growing up I always tried too see the good in everything around me." Charlie said as Katie whom was bored killed a bug with her pencil sending blood onto Charlie's face whom wiped it off.
"Hell is my home and you are my people. We just went though another extermination, we lost so many souls and it breaks my heart seeing my people being slaughtered every year and no one is even given a chance." Charlie slamming her right hand onto the desk waking up Katie who fell asleep.
"I can't stand by while the place I live in is subject too such violence. So I been thinking isn't their a more humane way to endure overpopulation here in hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way too change souls though redemption?" Charles said.
"Well I think yes so that's what this project aims to achieve ladies and gentlemen. I'm opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners." Charlie said
Charlie then started too become nervous and embarrassed.
"You know cause hotels are for people whom are passing though." Charlie said laughing nervously. While demons started laughing at her or saying bad things about her.
"I think it would work too serve as a place towards redemption. Yaaaay" Charlie said with a bashful cheery look.
SOMEWHERE UNKNOWN
A male overlord sees the News playing on the T.V screens of the radio shack store and watches with interest.
IN THE NEWS STATION
"Stupid idiot..." a camera guy said. the Camera guy gets punched by Vaggie.
"Look I know each and everyone of you has something good inside of you. Maybe I'm not getting though too you." Chariot said with a smile as decided to sing.
"Oh no." Vaggie said.
BACK WITH RED HOOD
"Wow! The princess of hell actually thought of that! She isn't exactly wrong, sinners actually 'can' be redeemed. After all, not everyone in hell deserves to be here" Red Hood said, making a waiter look at him
SHORT FLASHBACK BROUGHT TO YOU BY FAT NUGGETS
Red Hood was walking with groceries in his hand. Suddenly, a kid snatched it and ran away
"HEY!" Red Hood Exclaimed and ran after him
The kid then ran inside a house, and shuts the door as quickly as he can and locked it
When Red Hood was about to knock, he heard a cough.
He looked inside the window and saw the kid giving the groceries to a woman laying down in a couch, looking very sick and can only assume it was his mother
"Hey Mom, got you some groceries so you wouldn't have to leave" The kid said to his mother
"Sweetie you didn't have to do that" The mother responded to the kid
"But your sick, and you need someone to take care of you" The kid said to his mother
"Thank you sweetie, I'm so proud of you for taking care of me" The mother said as she pinches her son's cheek, making him giggle
Red Hood just sighs and walks away
"Your lucky you got a good heart kid" Red Hood said as ge walks to the market to get some more groceries
FLASHBACK END
"How can you be so certain?" The waiter asked him
"I've died twice and the first time I didn't exactly went to hell" Red Hood said casually, surprising the waiter
"Hmm, I think I should help her after her announcement is over" Red Hood said, wanting to help the princess achieve her goal
BACK IN THE NEWS STATION
Cue "Inside of every demon is a Rainbow"
(A/N: Sorry but I'm not writing down the lyrics because I don't exactly know how to edit the adult language into something else)
After Charlie sung her song, a random demon broke the silence
"WOW! THAT SONG WAS TRASH!!!" The demon said, as every single sinner and demon around hell began to laugh
"HAHAHAHAHA! What in the nine circles makes you think a single sinner would want to become a better person! You have no proof that this little experiment even works. You want people to be good because?
"Well we have a already, who believes in our cause and he has shown incredible process" Charlie responded confidently
"Oh? And who might that be?" Katie said, not convinced
"Oh just someone named Angel Dust" Charlie said
BACK WITH RED HOOD
Red Hood facepalms himself
"Ugh, 'clean' my foot. The guy's in a Turf War right now" Red Hood said, disappointed on what Angel Dust is doing right now
AT THE NEWS STATION
"The prostitute?" Tom asked
"Oh you would Tom" Katie said as Tom looks away in embarrassment
"Anyway that's not even an accomplishment. Because I'm sure you can get that guy to do anything with enough booger, sugar" Katie said
"I beg to differ. He's been behaved, clean and out of trouble for 2 weeks now!" Charlie proudly said to Katie
"BREAKING NEWS!!" the radio said
Katie smirked and pushed Charlie off the table
"We are receiving word that a new player has entered the on going Turf War! Let's go through the live feed" Katie said, looking at the camera. It showed Angel Dust stepping on Egg Bois and throwing bombs.
"Oh man" Charlie frowned
"Oh man indeed" Katie tainted
"It looks like the who just joined the battle is none other than the actor; Angel Dust!" Katie gasped dramatically
"What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid right now" Katie smiled and Charlie gasped
"AHAHA!! RATINGS" Katie and Tom said in unison
"DON'T LOOK AT THIS!!!" Charlie exclaimed, blocking the view
"Well it sure looks like your little project is DOA. Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?" Katie provoked, as everyone in the room was laughing
Charlie takes her pen from the table
"Yeah well, how does is feel that I have your pen? DOG MOM (A/N: that is what the b word means)" Charlie said, making everyone go silent and Katie snapped
WITH RED HOOD
Red Hood drops his coffee cup out of surprise
"Well, she's screwed" Red Hood said, standing up and leaving the cafè after giving a tip to the waiter he talked to earlier.
He went outside and hopped on his motorcycle, he reaved up the engine and puts his mask on and hood up. He is wearing a tight black T-shirt with his very own red emblem, a red sleeveless hoodie with a crowbar and sword on the back, grey jeans, black boots, black and red fingerless gloves, red cloth wrapped around his wrists, a red armored mask to cover up his mouth and a black and red domino mask to cover up his eyes
Red Hood was heading to the direction not the Turf War, planning on helping Angel and bringing him back to Charlie
"This is gonna be a pain" Red Hood said as he was riding his motorcycle
BACK IN THE NEWS STATION
"Oops" she said, putting down the pen, as Katie grew taller and gained a few extra limbs and Tom left the scene
She roared at Charlie and pounce at her
AT THE TURF WAR
It was chaos. Egg shells everywhere, houses were destroyed, and an all out brawl was going on
There was Angel Dust the prostitute, Cherri Bomb the self proclaimed spunky power house, Sir Pentious the Edge lord, and the egg guys
"Hey, thanks for the backup Angie" Cherri thanked as she launched a bazooka to the other side of the field
"Are you kidding? This is the most fun I had in ages!" Angel said, leaning back on the rubble behind him
"Where have you been anyway? I thought you died or something" Cherri said as she keeps attacking
"Oh I wished. I've been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town, some girls let me stay rent free if I played nice" Angel complained as he and Cherri covered their ears for an incoming explosions
"No pranks, no fights, no problematic language. Her words not mine" Angel gestured as his second pair of arms shot at the egg minions while his third pair held a bat
"These chicks are no fun, I've been clean for 3 weeks!" Angel said as Cherri got two bombs from her pockets while Angel wiped the egg yolk on his face
"Holy crap"
"Well sorta clean. About as clean as you can get over a ton of bolivian marching powder" Angel said before Sir Pentious wrap a chain around him, pulling the chain, sending him to a pile of rubble
"Oh~? I didn't know you liked this kinda stuff~" Angel moaned maliciously as he was still tied to the chain, making Pentious look at him, disgusted
Then a crowbar came out of nowhere and hits Pentious's head, making him let go of the chain
"Let. The homo. Go!" A voice said revealing it was Red hood on top of a short building
Red Hood jumped down and do a super hero landing that he instantly regretted it
"Ugghhh, how does Batman do that without hurting himself?" Red Hood moaned painfully, as he stood up with his knee cracking in the process
"Who are you supposed to be?!" Sir Pentious yelled as he was rubbing his head from the pain
"Name's Red Hood and I suggest you let that spider go before you know what's good for you" Red Hood said, taking out his sword from his back
"Well come at me then!" Sir Pentious said with a smirk
Red Hood ran at him and kicked in the face, knock him back to a wall, above him there was a sign, due to the impact, the sign fell on top of Pentious, hitting him in the head, making him see stars
Red Hood then ran to Angel Dust, using his sword to slice the chain, setting the spider free
"So~. What brings you here in this specific spot? Huh hot stuff~?" Angel said, flirtatiously, making Red Hood back up a bit
"You. Weren't you supposed to be a for the Happy Hotel?" Red Hood asked him
"Yeah, so? What's that have to do with me having a good time with you~?" Angel asked back
"First of all, I don't swing that way, Second, I'd like to be an employee, because I also believe in the princess's cause" Red Hood said, making angel go wide eyed
"Well I'll show you the way after we beat steam punk here" Angel said, doing a fighting stance, as Sir Pentious stands up and shakes of the dizziness, with a scowl
"Hey Angie! Who's your friend? He single?" Cherri asked her gay buddy, as she stands next to him
"This is...uuhhhhh, what's you name again?" Angel asked, forgetting his new friend's name
"Call me Jason" Red Hood answered
Sir Pentious then adjusted his hat, because it was tilted a bit to the side
"You people have no class, in a war, the side remembered is the side with the most, style" Sir Pentious stated as he pulled the sides of his bow tie
"I don't think that's how it works. I'm pretty sure the side remembered is the side that is NOT dead or the side that actually wins" Red Hood said, as he picked up the crowbars he threw earlier and puts it on the holster on his back
"What he said!" Cherri agreed as she broke an egg boi in half and clapped her hand free of dust
"As for your hat, is it alive or something?" Angel asked as he points at his enemy's hat
"Wel- THAT'S NONE OF YOU GOSH DARN BUSINESS, now is it?" Sir Pentious crossed his arms out of shier annoyance
"Would that make you hat the top and you the bottom?" Angel asked, making Cherri laugh and Red Hood dead pan
Sir Pentious was dumbfounded of that insult while a sign that says LOSER on the back was pointing at him
"Oooooooo!" An egg head exclaimed before Sir Pentious threw a rock at him
"IM GOING TO BLOW YOU TO BITS!!!" Sir Pentious, childishly exclaimed
"Hmmm...ki-" Angel was about to say something but Red Hood interupted him
"Please, don't" Red Hood said to the green minded spider
"Fiiine"
"Get them!" Pentious orders his minions
A minion incapacitated Angel Dust
"Not so cocky now, are we?" Sir Pentious smirked
"You know, you should really watch what comes out of your mouth, I've been making these adult jokes the whole TIME!" Angel flinched sa Sir Pentious held up a saw
"And it's obvious you're not catching on." Angel said as his 3rd pair of as popped out
"I mean, it's just sad you know?" Angel said as he shoots Sir Pentious with a Tommy gun
"So, you think you're gonna get in a lot of trouble for this?" Cherri asked as Angel rolled his eyes
"Eh, what's more than a little brawl gonna cost?" Angel said
Red Hood's phone got a notification and see what it was and he was shocked
"Apparently another one" Red Hood said, making the two look at him.
He held up his phone in front of them, revealing the News Station in chaos, Charlie and Katie were in a fist fight and Tom was on fire for some reason
"I kinda feel bad for them but it's pretty funny and sad at the same time" Angel Dust said before chuckling
"Glad you haven't changed. You know you're my favorite guy to party with!" Cherri said, punching Angel playfully
"You got it sugar" Angel replied
"Would you guys stop kidding around! We got bigger fish to fry" Red Hood said, as he went to a fighting stance
Sir Pentious was standing up and was ready for battle
"You ready to finish this?" Cherri said and rolled a bomb across her shoulder before lighting it up
"You know it baby" Angel replied, loading up his guns
"Let's just get this over with" Red Hood said as he took both his sword and crowbar from his back
They charged at Sir Pentious. They gave out a war cry along with Charli and Katie, except for Tom since he was screaming in agony
TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY ANGEL DUST SNIFFING...ANGEL DUST?
Red Hood was under a lot of rubble and Cherri was digging him out
She saw a hand and pulled it, helping Red Hood out
"Hey, you ok?" Cherri asked in concern
"Yeah, where's Angel and Sir Panty house?" Red Hood asked the cyclops
"Oh, the princess of hell picked her up after Sir Edge lord retreated" Cherri said in a mockingly tone at the last part
"Ugh, looks like I have to find that hotel on my own" Red Hood said, before walking to the direction his motorcycle was at, but before he could go there, Cherri walks in front of him
"Wait, why do you want to go where Angel is? Do you have a thing for him?" Cherri asked, suspiciously and getting slightly jealous
"No, he's actually a at the Happy Hotel; a rehabilitation center where sinners go to redeem themselves for them to go to heaven and I want to be an employee there" Red Hood explained
Cherri was laughing her butt off
"HAHAHAHHAHA!!!! You actually believe sinners can be redeemed?" Cherri said with tears in her eye
"I don't believe sinner can be redeemed. I know sinners can be redeemed, as long as god approves" Red Hood said, making Cherri laugh even harder
"And what make you think it would actually work" Cherri said, taking a breath
"Who do you think I am?" Red Hood asked
"Let's see. Toned body, Wearing a Red mask, a red sleeveless hoodie- OH MY DEVIL! YOUR THE RED HOOD!!!" Cherri exclaimed in excitement
"Bingo"
"So is it true you died and got brought back to life, then died again" Cherri asked
"Yes, and the first time I didn't end up down here" Red Hood confirmed
"Wait, so you went to heaven the first time you died?!" Cherri said in shock
"Well before I died the first time, I was a super hero's sidekick, but when I got brought back to life, I became a villain, after that I became an anti-hero, and then I died again by the man that killed me the first time" Red Hood said, simplifying what happened to him
"So it really is possible" Cherri said
"If you want, you can come with me on the rehab, your welcome to join" Red Hood suggested
"Thanks but I like it here, no rules, no limitations, it's basically heaven for me which is ironic giving I'm in hell" Cherri said, before giggling
"Ok then, I'll be seeing you" Red Hood said, before turning around but was once again stopped by Cherri
"Wait! Here's my phone number if you want to hang out" Charro said, holding up a piece of paper, not making eye contact, with a hint of red on her cheeks
"Ok" Red Hood took the paper before hopping o his motorcycle, as he rode off
SCENE CHANGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY
A limo was driving across town.
Inside that limo was Angel Dust, Charlie and Vaggie
Angel played with the window of the link as Vaggie sat with her eye twitching in anger. Charlie has a downer look
"What?" Angel asked
"What? WHAT?! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!?!?" Vaggie exclaimed, fuming with anger on what Angel did.
Angel just rolled his eyes in ignorance
"I owed my girl buddy a solid, isn't that a redeeming quality, helping friends with stuff" Angel said as Vaggie tried to stay composed
"NOT with TURF WARS that result in territorial genocide" Vaggie stated
"Well you win some, you lose a few hundred" Angel laughed as his attention went back to the window
"It wasn't that bad anyway" Angel said, before being surprised by a knife thrown by Vaggie
"Come on! I had to! My credibility was on the line. Ugh, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was trying to go clean? It just ruins out my entire persona" Angel said before lifting up his...I'm just gonna call it chest hair
"Your credibility? What about the hotel? That little stunt made us look like a freaking joke!" Vaggie said with her bow resembling horns
"No, No, No, babe. Jokes are funny, I made ya look...sad...and pathetic, like an orphan, with no arms, or legs, with progeria!" Angel stated, making Charlie flinch at every description
"Great! Now I'm getting bummed thinking about it! Does this thing have any liquor?" Angel wondered as he slithers around the limo, looking for alcohol
"Just try to take this seriously!" Vaggie pleased as Charlie leans on the window in a sad manner
"Okay fine, just don't get you tacos in a twist baby" Angel deleted as Vaggie glared at him
"Were you insulting my country or my gender?" Vaggie asked, offended
"Whichever makes you angry the most. Is there seriously no liquor I here?" Angel complained as Vaggie crossed her arms
"I'm gonna kill him" said Vaggie
"Too late, him. Wait, would that make me double dead? Huh, Where exactly would I go? To double hell?! Hahahaha, (exhale) sorry but your stuck with me girly, get used to it." Angel scoffed as Vaggie was cursing in spanish, as her right eye turned into a skull
"Listen, who cares if some sinners got hurt. Most of them are ugly freaks, just look around, there's a bunch freakin'' Harley Quinn babies down here" Angel said while looking at the window
"Your one to talk" Vaggie said with a smirk
"Hey! This body is flawless." Angel said, while doing a pose
"Everyone wants some of me, and I got the creepy fan letters to prove it" Angel proudly stars, as he pulls a letter from his chest hair, showing a...MMHHFFFPPP!!! (Runs to the bathroom to puke)
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Alright I'm back. Anyway, showing a picture of a green fat man licking a body pillow with the image of Angel Dust and it says ' sow me your '
(A/N: The puke joke actually happened to me because you have to be lying if you think that letter wasn't disgusting)
"That was really uncool, Angel" Charlie finally spoke as she placed her hand on Vaggie's shoulder
"Uncool? After that trainwreck, there is no way anyone would stay at the hotel, all thanks to you and YOUR SELFISH BULL CRAP!!!" Vaggie scolded as she pointed at Angel
"Does that mean I don't get a free room anymore?" Angel asked as Vaggie held out her arms, that gestures to 'what do you think?'
"Aww shucks." Angel said, snapping his fingers as the limo came to a stop
"Look, we don't know if it's over yet." Charlie said as she removes her blazer and looked at Angel
"Try to relax Vaggie, everything will be fine" Charlie said with a smile as Vaggie got infected by Charlie's infectious smile
They went outside and went inside the hotel
As they entered, they noticed a shadowy figure sitting on the sofa
"You guys should've locked your door before you left" The shadowy figure said
Charlie turned on the lights revealing Red Hood, cleaning his pistol with a peace of cloth
"THE RED HOOD?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Charlie and Vaggie said in shock
"Sup" Red Hood casually said
"Hey Daddy" Angel greeted flirtatiously, making Red Hood green
Vaggie grabbed a spear and got into a defensive position
"What are you doing here?!" Vaggie asked Red Hood
"I'm here to apply for a job" Red Hood answered, standing up and walks up to the princess
"I know everyone said that it's impossible for a sinner to be brought to heaven but I know they can" Red Hood said to Charlie
"You think so?" Charlie asked with hope
"As long as the big man approves" Red Hood said, pointing upward
"God?" Charlie asked, earning a nod from the former sidekick
"Yeah, I asked him before I got brought back to life" Red Hood confirmed
"Wait, back to life?" Charlie asked, not knowing how to respond
"Let's take a seat first" Red Hood said before taking a seat at the sofa he was on before
"Alright" Charlie agreed and sat on the couch, along with Angel and Vaggie, who was still a bit hostile to him
"You. Moth girl. When did you die?" Red Hood asked Vaggie
"2014. What's it to you?" Vaggie answered then asked
"Then I assume you must know who I was back when I was alive" Red Hood said while taking out his sword and wiping the blade with a peace of cloth
"Yeah, you were the Red Hood, one of the world's most infamous anti-heroes, and the second Robin" Vaggie answered, easing up a bit
"Yup, and how do you think I became the Red Hood the first place" Vaggie was about to answer but Angel interupted
"ALRIGHT! TIME OUT! WHO WAS HE BACK WHEN HE WAS ALIVE?!?!?!? AND IS HE SINGLE?!?!?!?!?!" Angel exclaimed, pointing at Red Hood
"I think I'll just explain everything to you" Red Hood said, before taking off his mask, making the three blushed on how handsome he was
(A/N: That was weird for me to type down because I'm a guy and I'm straight)
"My name is Jason Todd A.K.A. the Red Hood" Red Hood said, revealing his identity
Jason then explains everything that happened to him before he died the first time
"So you were a super hero's sidekick?!" Charlie asked, imagining him, fighting crime
"Did you wear tights?!" Angel asked, imagining him in spandex
"Well.." Jason was about to answer but Vaggie interupted with a smirk
"Yeah, he only wore a red shirt, green briefs, a domino mask, pixie boots, a yellow utility belt, and a yellow cape. Seriously, how were you not embarrassed by that?" Vaggie asked while giggling
"I was 10!"
"Ohhh~ You wouldn't mind wearing that for me, would you~?" Angel flirtatiously asked Jason, as Jason was green with disgust
"Yes. I do mind" Jason replied
"Awww c'mon. Just one night...or every night" Angel insisted only to get smacked by Vaggie
"Anyway, did Batman save you from Joker?" Charlie asked Jason, as she was getting worried on what would happen in the story he Jason was telling them
"No" Jason answered, making the 2 go in shock except for Vaggie, who knew what happened
"The Joker planted a bomb before he left and Batman was a bit late when it blew up, along me with it" Jason said
"So did you survived?" Charlie asked din concern
"No"
"Does that mean you..." Angel began
"...died" Jason finished
"Well if you died as a super hero's sidekick, does that mean you went to heaven" Charlie asked
"Yes, and to be honest, it was actually pretty peaceful there. Sunny skies, cool breeze, and there are some parts where there are cities while other were peaceful villages, and the upside there was no crime, no strong languages , and no fights. It was very nice living there" Jason said with a smile
"Then, I learned of the yearly Extermination, and I tried reasoning with god, who was in a business suit by the way, and he said that it must be done because we can't risk the mortal world to be invaded by demons and sinners" Jason said
Everyone made a look at him
"Wait, I thought the cleanse was supposed to keep hell from overpopulating so there wouldn't be too many demons here" Charlie said
"Yeah I thought so too" Angel said while playing with Jason's mask and trying it on before taking a deep breath because it reeked with his sweat, causing him to moan in delight
"Well you are kinda right. The cleanse was supposed to keep hell from overpopulating so it wouldn't be cramped in here and so earth's forces wouldn't be outnumbered if they invade" Jason said, making the three giving him a 'what are you talking about' look
"How would they even get to earth since we're all stuck here?" Angel asked Jason
"By using Stolas's Grimoire" Jason said, then Charlie and Vaggie got wide eye but Angel just got confused even more
"And what's that?"
"A demonic book that can create a portal to earth"
"If a rouge sinner or demon get their hands on, literal hell will be raised on earth" Jason said, with narrowed eyes
"Well I just hope Stolas is keeping it safe" Charlie said, worried on the possibility of what Jason said
"About that..." Jason began, nervously
"What?" The three of them asked in unison
Jason got a remote and turned on the TV showing a commercial
THE COMMERCIAL
A tall Imp appeared on the screen
"Hi there, my name is Blitzø, the O is silent and I am the owner and founder of I.M.P." The imp, now named Blitzø said
"Are you a criminal who got sent down here and out for revenge?"
An image appears on the screen, showing Blitzø wearing a top hat and an old school bad guy mustache
"Or are you an innocent soul who got SCREWED by someone else?"
Then it switches to Blitzø wearing an angel outfit
We then see a sinner wearing a shirt saying 'Ohio hot' while Blitzø in the background was holding a sign saying 'Some guy who hired us'
"After lovingly killing my wife for SLEEPING WITH THE DELIVERY MAN!!! You can imagine my surprise that I wound up here, after the the state of Ohio killed me. I really wish I could stick it to that YAPPY JOGGER WHO SAW ME HIDING THE BODY!!!" The sinner exclaimed in a demonic voice
"Well now you can! Thank to our company's access to the living world, we can help take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive." Blitzø said, as 2 imps were creating a portal in the background and Blitzø dived in it
When you want somebody gone and you don't want to wait too long
Call the Immediate Murder Professionals Hand grenade or cyanide, we'll make it look like suicide
The Immediate Murder Professionals
We do our job so well because we come straight up from Hell
We'll kill your husband or your wife, we'll even let you keep the knife
We're the Immediate Murder Professionals
Kids die for free~
COMMERCIAL END
"That's what Stolas's Grimoire is being used for?" Charlie asked, feeling uneasy of what the last part of the son sang
"Yeah, that's why I work there, to keep an eye on it so that idiot of a boss won't lose or destroy it" Red Hood said while massaging his temples due to his experience with the imp
"How did that guy even get that?" Angel asked
"He slept with Stolas and stole it from him" Jason said making Angel laugh
"You mean that guy's gay?" Vaggie asked about the imp's interest
"He's pan, he actually dated Verosika Mayday" Jason answered
"He dated Verosika Mayday?" Charlie asked
"Yeah, I even worked for her when I was still new in hell. That's a story for another time"
"Well at least we know it has someone responsible to watch over it" Vaggie sighed in relief
"Anyways, I asked God if sinners can be redeemed, he said they can if he was convinced the sinners have truly changed, then he will turn them into saints and send down angels to escort the former sinners to heaven" Red Hood said to the three
Everyone was surprised that redemption was actually possible
"(sniff) I always knew sinners can be redeemed (sniff)" Charlie said while grabbing a tissue and wiping her tears with it
"But the only problem is, how are we supposed to convince sinners to change?" Vaggie said, while rubbing her chin
"That's gonna be a problem" Angel said, while taking a popsicle from a fridge
"Can you continue the story now?" Charlie happily said, curious on how he came back to life
"Sure. Ahem! One day after a few months of living there, my body began to fade and my head was starting to hurt. When I woke up, I saw a bunch of people in robes, and I was insane and attacked them and escaped, turns out, Batman's old enemy; Ra's al Ghul secretly took my corpse and revived me using the Lazarus Pit" Jason told them, once again shocking Charlie and Vaggie
"A human knows about the Lazarus Pit?!" Charlie said in surprised
"Yes, turns out, he's been using it for several hundred years to keep himself young" Jason confirmed
Angel was starting to get annoyed that he doesn't know allot of they were talking about
"Alright! Story first, ask questions later!" Angel said annoyed
"Ok, jeez. After that, I regained my sanity and started to train myself with guns..." Red Good kept talking as the three kept listening
SHORT TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY SISTER WATCHING 'BOYS OVER FLOWERS'
(A/N: Sorry but if I explained everything then this chapter wouldn't be released for another week)
After Jason told his story, Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel, were surprised on how much excitement his life had
Jason broke the silence
"Can I be an employee?" Jason asked Charlie who was gleeing with joy
"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!" Charlie said, repeatedly saying the word 'yes' while hugging Jason with bone crushing force
"Charlie. Can't. Breath." Jason wheezed before Charlie lets him go
"Sorry" Charlie apologized in a cute manner while winking and sticking her tongue out
"Hey where's the bathroom in this place" Jason asked
"Right around the corner" Charlie pointed out
"Thanks" and with that, Jason left to go number 1
"Charlie, are we sure we could trust him? I mean, what if all he said was a lie?" Vaggie said to Charlie
"And what reason would he lie to us? He said he wanted to help because not everyone in hell deserves to be here. And besides, he could make a perfect security guard" Charlie responded happily
"I guess your right there" Vaggie said in a defeated tone
"Hmm, Hey Vaggie, where can I get an exact replica of Jason's Robin costume?" Angel asked with a bit of blood dripping from his nose
"Why?"
"Just imagine Jason wearing that right now" Angel said before wiping the blood. This statement caused both girls to go beet red
"I think there's a costume store a few block from here" Charlie said, making Angel smirk and Vaggie surprised
"CHARLIE!"
"JUST LET ME BE SINFUL JUST THIS ONCE VAGGIE"
Then they heard the door bell ring
"I'll get it!" Charlie said while walking to the door to open it
Charlie opened a door, revealing a man that is seen standing at 7". He is quite slim, with beige colored skin, and sharp yellow teeth. He sports a short red angled bob cut with black tipping on the bottom and two large black-tipped tufts of hair extending from the top of his head, resembling deer ears, and two small black antlers. His eyes, have red sclerae, bright red irises, black pupils and wears a black oval-shaped monocle over his right eye. He wears a dark red pinstriped coat which is slightly ragged along the bottom, a bright red dress shirt with a black cross on the chest underneath and long burgundy dress pants with matching bright red cuffs. He is also dressed in a red-knotted bowtie, burgundy gloves, and black pointed-toe boots with red deer hoofprints emblazoned on the soles
"Hel-" The figure was interupted by Charlie, slamming the door shut
Charlie opened it again to confirm what she saw
"-lo-" Charlie slammed the door again
Charlie walked back to the living room with a fearful expression.
"Vaggie" Charlie called out
"What?" Vaggie asked
"The Radio Demon is at the door" Charlie gestured by pointing at the direction where the door was
"WHAT?!" Vaggie exclaimed, standing up from her chair
"The who?" Angel asked in complete ignorance
Red Hood came in, wiping his hands with a peace of tissue
"What did I miss?" asked Red Hood while throwing the tissue in the recycling bin
"Radio demon is at the door" Charlie answered
"Oh no" Red Hood said with his hands covering covering his face due to stress
"What am I gonna do?!" Charlie said while walking in circles
"Well don't let him in" Vaggie said as she scoffed
"She's right, with my experience with him, he wouldn't be here without a reason" Jason warned but Charlie just ignores them and goes to open the door anyway
Charlie opened the door to see the exact same man she saw before
"May I speak now?" the man said with a voice that is similar to that of an old radio from the 1930's
"You may" Charlie said, crossing her as only for the man to grab her hand and shook it
"Alastor, pleasure to meet you sweet heart! Quite a pleasure!" The man, now named Alastor l, then pulls Charlie towards him as he invites himself into the hotel and continues
"Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on a picture show and I just couldn't resist! WHAT A PERFORMANCE!!! " Alastor said, excitably waving his arms
"Why I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929. Hahaha...so many orphans" Alastor said, before a Vaggie's spear and a Red Hood's pistol were pointed right at his face
"State your business here Radio Demon!" Jason sternly said while cocking his gun
"And if you try to hurt anyone here I'm gonna shove this spear up your butt until it come out of your mouth!" Vaggie tries to threaten Alastor but he just kept smiling
Alastor just moved the pistol and spear away from him using his fingers
"My friends, if I were to hurt anyone here, I Would Have Done So Already" Alastor said as his eyes turned into radio dials, reality getting distorted, and symbols started appearing in the air
Charlie got behind Jason and Vaggie out of fear
The distortion finally stopped and the symbols disappeared as Alastor shook his head, transforming his eyes back to normal
"No! I'm here because I want to help!" Alastor stated his reason of being there
The three of them had questioning looks
"Say what now?" Charlie asked with a raised brow
"Help! Haha, hello is this thing on, testing, testing" Alastor said as he tapped his can that resembles a microphone
"Well I heard you loud and clear!" The mic responded after it gained an eye
"Help? Wiiiith?" Charlie asked, before Alastor teleported behind the three
"This ridiculouss thing your trying to do. This hotel, I want to help you run it" Alastor said surprising them
"But why?" Charlie asked
"Yeah, why would the infamous Radio Demon want to help run for rehabilitating sinners" Jason asked with narrowed eyes
"Haha, why would anyone do anything? Sheree absolute boardome!" Alastor said with his hands on his face"I've lacked inspiration for decades, my work became mundane, lacking focus, ANGUISHED!" Alastor answered as he puts his elbow on top of Vaggie's head, pushing her after he exclaimed the word 'anguished'. "I have come to crave a new form of entertainment. Hahaha" Alastor said with his hands on his waist
"Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as entertainment?" Charlie asked nervously
"Hahaha. It's the purest kind my dear. REALITY!! TRUE PASSION!!! After all, the world is a stage and a stage is a world of entertainment" Alastor said with a terrifying grin
"And how does a hotel of rehabilitating sinners count as entertainment to you" Jason asked
"Ahh the Red Hood, is it true that you died twice and the first time you went to heaven?" Alastor asked, getting all up on his face
"Yes, and redemption is possible as long as God is convinced that the sinner has truly changed" Red Hood answered
"I see, but redemption is a non existent humanity, because no sinner in hell would want to leave, and even if they did, would you really think that God would be convinced just like that. The chance they had was the life they lived before, the punishment is THIS! There is no undoing what is done" Alastor said, gesturing the entirety of hell
"Then why do you want to help if you don't believe in our cause" Charlie asked
Alastor just smirked
"Consider it an investment, an ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world to struggle as they climb up the hill of betterments, only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure" Alastor darkly stated as he grabbed Charlie's hand and turned her like around and around, grabbing her shoulder afterwards
"Riiiiggghhht..." Charlie said, as she removes Alastor's hand from her shoulder
"Yes indeedy! I see big things coming your way..." Alastor said as he kept talking with Charlie
Jason, Vaggie, and Angel Dust were sitting on the couch. Jason and Vaggie crossing their arms with scowls
"So, what's the deal with smiles o we there?" Angel asked while pointing at Alastor, surprising the two
"Wait, you've never heard of him before? You've been her longer than me and Jason." Vaggie asked as she gestures bother her and Jason
Angel just shrugs
"The Radio Demon; on of the most powerful being hell has ever seen." Jason stated
"Eh, not big on politics" Angel said without a care
"Vaggie, mind telling the story?" Jason asked. Vaggie nodded her head
"Decades ago, Alastor manifested in hell seemingly overnight. He began to topple overlords, who had been dominant for centuries, that kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before, then he broadcast his carnage all throughout hell, just everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him 'The Radio Demon', as lazy as that is. Many have speculated what imaginable enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils but one thing's for sure, he's an unpredictable force of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erase!" Vaggie said as the bow on her head resembled horns for a few seconds before turning back to normal
"Ya done? Hehe, he looks like a strawberry prostitute from the 1930's" Angel stated while pointing at Alastor
"Well I don't trust him!" Vaggie said, crossing her arms out of frustration
"To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?" Angel said
"I trust Jason, but not entirely" Vaggie stated while looking at Jason
"Thanks. Oh and I have a question"
"What?" Vaggie asked
"How do you make the bow on your head look like horns?" Jason asked while pointing at her head
"I don't even know myself" Vaggie confessed
She stands up and walks up to Charlie, grabbing her by the arms
"Charlie, listen to me. You can't believe this creep, he isn't just a happy face, he's a deal maker and our evil! He can't be redeemed and is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we're trying to do" Vaggie said to Charlie
"I- we don't know that. Look, I know he's bad and I know he probably doesn't want to change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance and to have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can't. It goes against everything I'm trying to do, everything I believe in. Just trust me, I can take care of myself" Charlie said softly
"Charlie, what ever you do, do not make a deal with him!" Vaggie warned until Jason came out of nowhere, surprising the two
"I agree with Vaggie, never make deals with demons. I'm mean, have you seen the movies?" Jason said, making Vaggie go deadpan "What? Didn't you watch Ghost Rider?"
"Don't worry, I picked up one thing from my dad. You don't take crap from other demons!" Charlie said, impersonating her dad's voice and marched up to Alastor
"Yeah that does sound something Lucifer would say" Jason said with a chuckle
"So Al, your sketchy as freak and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here is a joke" Charlie said as she turns around. Unbeknownst to her, Alastor was making a very horrifying gin with demonic symbols around him and with quickly went away before Charlie turned around. "But I don't! I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no ticks or voodoo strings attached" Charlie said, ending with a nervous smile
"So it's a deal then?" Alastor said, holding up his hand to shake and a green aura started to appear around the two, nealy blowing away Jason, Vaggie, and Angel
Charlie laps his hand away, fearing on what would happen if she made a deal with a Devil
(A/N: See what I did there?( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡))
"NOPE! No shaking! No deals! I-mmm as princess of hell and heir to the throne, I-uh hear by order that you help with this hotel for as long as you desire" Charlie said, before looking at Vaggie and Jason. "Sound fair?" Charlie asked
"Hmmm fair enough" Alastor answered. Alastor looked at Vaggie, who was frowning. "Smile my dear, your never fully dressed without one" Alastor said, rubbing Vaggie's chin and she was very annoyed at that. Alastor started look around and observing all of the furniture and paintings. "So where is your hotel staff?" Alastor asked Charlie. Charlie just Gestured Jason and Vaggie, who were glaring dagger at Alastor. "HoHoHo! Your gonna need more than that." Alastor said before walking up to Angel Dust. "So what can you do, my feminine fellow?" Alastor asked the adult movie actor
"I can give you a good time~" Angel responded with a grin
After he said that, a mic can be heard doing a slight feedback loop
"Ha! No" Alastor said as if he were unfazed but I the inside, he wished he can bleach his earlobes right then and there
"You loss" Angel said with a smug smile
"For anyone who's straight or ace, it's a win" Jason said making Angel smirk at him
"You know you love me~" Angel flirtatiously said, making his face turn green
"I only helped you out because you were the only in this hotel" Jason said sternly
"I'll get you to accept me one day" Angel said
"In your dreams" Jason said, walking away from Angel, only for Angel to follow him around
"Well this won't do! I supposed I could cache in a few favors to liven things up" Alastor said, before snapping his fingers
Suddenly, the messed up fire place gained a small flame that instantly burst, fixing the fire place and something black fell from the chimney to the fire place
All of them gathered around the chimney as Alastor picked up the thing that fell. The mysterious thing gained a giant eye ball and a puff of smoke, revealed a cute little cyclops girl with red hair, yellow-ish white skin and a red dress
"This little darling is Niffty" Alastor said as he drop Niffty to the ground and she stood up
"Hi. I'm Niffty. It's nice to meet you all, it's been while since I've mad new friends" Niffty said, looking at everyone who she just met but she suddenly froze at the sight of Jason. She kept staring for a few seconds until Jason broke the silence
"Uuhhhhh, is she ok-AAAYYYY" Jason exclaimed as he was tackled by Niffty
"OH MY GOSH!!! A MAN!!! AND A HANDSOME ONE TOO!!! ARE YOU SINGLE?!?! ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND?!?! OR PERHAPS A LITTLE SISTER?!?! OR A LOVER WHOM YOU WILL SPEND YOUR ETERNITY IN HELL WITH?!?!" Niffty exclaimed as every question she asked, she pushed her forehead against Jason's, making him since in pain a bit
"GET OFF OF HIM!!" Vaggie exclaimed as she picked up Niffty and threw her to the sides
"Thanks" Jason thanked Vaggie as she helped him stand up
"No problem" Vaggie said, blushing at the praise she was given
"Is she always like that?" Jason asked Alastor, while pointing at Niffty who had birds flying over her head
A flash of green light came from behind them and they heard a very deep voice
"Ha! Read'em and weep boys, full- Woah!" A cat demon with wings, no clothes, and wearing a hat, exclaimed in confusion. "The hell? What the frag is this?" the cat demon asked himself before he saw Alastor and then he became somewhat angry
"YOU!!" the cat demon said with hostility
"Ah, Husker my good friend! Glad you could make it" Alastor said to the cat demon, now named Husker
"Don't you 'Husker' me you damn Momma's boy. I was about to win the whole damn pot!" Husker exclaimed, gesturing the large amount of cash on a table which suddenly disappeared
"Good to see you too!" Alastor said, ignoring what Husker just said
"What the hell do you want from this time?" Husker lazily said, while massaging his temples
"My friend, I doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay" Alastor said while poking Husker's chest
"Are you kidding me?!" Husker sarcastically said
"Hmmm. No, I don't thinks so" Alastor responded before Husker pushed Alastor away from his body
"YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SOME BIG FREAKING RIOT JUST TO PULL ME OUT OF NOWHERE?!?! YOU THINK I'M SOME KIND OF PATHETIC CLOWN?!?!" Husker exclaimed with a lot of anger in his voice
"Maybe" Alastor replied jokingly
"I ain't doin now lousy charity job" Husker crossed his arms while glaring at Alastor
"Well I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment" Alastor said, as points at the receptionist desk (don't know what it's called) which is also a bar
"With your charming smile and welcoming energy, this job was made for you" Alastor continued as he he used his finger to forcibly make Husker smile, before Husker's face turned back into a frown
"Don't worry my friend, I can make this more welcoming, if you wish" Alastor said, before swiping his hand, summoning a beer bottle that says 'CHEAP BOOZE'
Husker looked at the beer bottle and thought very carefully. "What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?! Well you can" Husker submitted, taking the bottle and chugged like his afterlife depended on it
Angel Dust was loving it because of drinks but Vaggie was very unhappy
"HEY! HEY HEY HEY! No bar! No alcohol!This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of... Mouth...brothel...Man cave-!" Vaggie was talking before Angel Dust tackled her to the ground
"SHUT UP! Shut. Up. We are keeping this" Angel said sternly while pointing at the bar with his 3 extra arms
"You do know 'You know who' drank wine before he died, right?" Jason added with a question, making Vaggie red due to embarrassment because she completely forgot that Jesus drank alcohol
"Right, sorry about" Vaggie apologized
Angel stood up and and had a smirk on her face
"Hey~" Angel flirted with Husker, but Husker only turned away
"Go frag yourself" Husker said, as he kept on drinking
"Only if you watch me~" Angel said, grabbing Husker's chin, getting all up on his face
Charlie suddenly leans in on the counter and held her hand up
"Oh my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel, you are gonna love it hear!" Charlie happily said, almost turning into her full demon form
"I lost the ability to love years ago" Husker said before taking another sip
"An yet your love for drinking and gambling never dies" Jason said jokingly
Husker just groaned in response
"So what do you think?" Alastor asked
Charlie ran up to Alastor with a huge smile plastered on her pace
"This is amazing!" Charlie said, rubbing her cheeks
"Yeah, with Niffty's speed cleaning and Husker's addiction to drinking, we would run this hotel in no time" Jason said positively
"It's...okay" Vaggie admitted, crossing her arms
Alastor grabbed Charlie and Vaggie and hugged them, except for Jason, who dodged the hug
"Haha. This is going to be very entertaining!" Alastor said, before adjusting his monocle
He summoned a fire ball and he fired it in the air, distracting Charli and Jason, as he pushed Vaggie away.
He made everyone's clothes look like it's from the 30's, spring them, except for husk who was still drinking
You wish to tell,
And it's just laughable
But, hey kid, what the hell?
'Cause you're one of a kind,
A charming demon belle!
Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell
Take it, boys!
(Ha-ha!)
Boo!
Inside of every demon is a lost cause
(Ha)
But we'll dress them up for now with just a smile
Wicked smiles~!
And we'll chlorinate this cesspool
With some old redemption flair
And show these simpletons some proper class and style
Class and Style!
(Oh!)
Here below the ground,
I'm sure your plan is sound
They'll spend a little time
Down at this Hazbin Ho-
The song was sadly cut off by an explosion, and a door flew right at Niffty, hitting her
"You okay?" Jason asked worryingly
"I'm fine" Niffty answered, A bit dryly
Everyone looked outside, revealing Sir Pentious on his blimp. The went outside to see what he was doing there
"Ha! Well well well~ Look who's harboring the striped freak and the red rogue! We meet again Alastor" Sir Pentious said, trying to sound sinister
" Do I know you?" Alastor asked. Angel smirked and Jason chuckles
A balloon can be heard deflating after Alastor said that. Sir Pentious just frowned
"OH yes, you do!" Sir Pentious said before going inside
"And this time I have the element of SURPRISE!! HAHA I'M SO EVIL!!" Sir Pentious cackled, as he pulls a lever, realizing a giant lazer blaster at the bottom of his blimp, pointing at the Hazbin crew
Jason was about to do something but Alastor just snapped his fingers
Then a giant portal was created at bottom of the blimp, out of that portal came giant tendrils that destroyed everything from the inside out. Alastor clenched his fist so hard, blood dripped, as soon as the blood drips to the ground, all of the tendrils covered up the blimp and tightens the grip, completely destroying it
Everyone was staring o shock at the destruction except for Niffty, who was smiling cutely. Then they stared at Alastor, who had a dark, terrifying, grin
"WELL I'M STARVED!! WHO WANTS SOME JAMBALAYA?!?!" Alastor said, breaking the silence
They then started to walk back to the hotel
"My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya, in fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha, you could say the kick was right out of hell! Oh hohoho! I'm on a role!" Alastor joked, with the rest following him
"Yes sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game's set! Now." Alastor said before changing the hotel's name from 'HAPPY HOTEL' to 'HAZBIN HOTEL'
"Stay tuned"
A/N: Longest. Chapter. I have ever written.
Hey guys sorry I haven't been updating lately because of school stuff and a friend of mine wants me to help with a voice acting script, because the script was extremely cringy. No offense to the writer
I worked really hard on this and I am proud of it. You may have noticed that I changed a few things here and there because like I said, this story must be rated T if possible because I'm not really find of writing something too adult and if read the barf joke, then that actually happened to me
Anyways, I'll be updating Marco 10vs the forces of evil
Next Episode: I.M.P.