A/N: Thanks for coming back for Chapter 2 of the Tail of Edward's Broken Heart. Enjoy!
Normal disclaimers apply.
The Tail of Edward's Broken Heart - Chapter 2
I spent the next few hours just driving around Seattle. No rhyme or reason. Finally, I found myself in front of my parent's home on Mercer Island. The house was dark, and I couldn't bring myself to wake my parents. I didn't want to drag my parents into whatever mess was going on with Bella and I. I didn't even understand it. How could I possibly explain it to them?
Life as I knew it was crumbling down around me. The love of my life didn't want me anymore. Well, not unless she had a suitable replacement. The job I had spent so long striving for, and thought would provide for us the life we always dreamed of, had ultimately caused the demise of my relationship.
I sat in the quiet car, thinking about everything. My entire life played like a movie in my mind. I thought back to the day I met Bella. How beautiful she was. She had only become more beautiful over time. My heart beat for her. And now I felt as if someone had ripped my heart right from my chest. I cried. Big fat tears rolled down my face uncontrollably. I struggled to breathe. Eventually, exhaustion finally overcame me, and I succumbed to an uncomfortable and restless sleep.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Huh?
Tap. Tap. Tap.
"Edward? Darling?"
What the? I slowly began to wake. I had slumped over the console in my sleep and found that my back hurt as much as my heart did as I struggled to sit up straight and become coherent.
"Darling? What is it? Why are you sleeping in your car? What's wrong?"
I could hear the concern in my mom's voice. I turned on the car and rolled down the window to speak to her, but I hesitated to tell her. My mother loved Bella like another daughter. I couldn't bear to break her heart on top of mine. No, I wouldn't tell her what Bella said. In the end it wouldn't matter. Bella and I would be over, and Esme's heart would be broken regardless. She didn't need to know anything more than that.
"It doesn't… it doesn't even matter. I'm fine." I said shaking my head. I tried to rub my chest to get rid of the pain. But no matter how much I rubbed, the pain never subsided. "I'm sorry, mom. I'm gonna be late for work. I have to go." I rolled the window back up, before taking off back down the driveway. For the second time in less than twelve hours, I saw a woman I loved yelling at me to come back.
I made it into work on time by some miracle. My appearance left something to be desired. Thankfully, I had my gym bag in my car. Not that I've been to the gym in weeks. I put on some deodorant and change my undershirt. I'd have to wear the same blue button-down and khaki pants I wore yesterday, but I had an extra tie in my desk I could wear, so I could at least attempt to look different from yesterday. Not better, just different. The shirt and pants were a mess of wrinkles, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Running my fingers through my hair, and popping a piece of gum, I made my way up to my office.
By some miracle I managed not to pass anyone on my way to my office. I went in, and quietly closed the door. I was here, and I would work. Only answering the door should someone come knocking. I wasn't exactly the picture of a promising young attorney today. The less people who physically saw me the better. My home life was falling apart; I have to make sure my work life remained intact or I'd have nothing left.
I set down my stuff on my desk, pulling out my cell phone to charge. In my haste last night, I had somehow managed to grab it, but it died overnight. I stayed holed up in my office for most of the morning. I had finally finished the brief I had been working on the night before and decided to take a short break for lunch. I unplugged my phone from the charger and turned it on. Eventually a series of chimes and notification sounds went off. I looked at the notifications to see several missed calls from Bella, Rose, and my mother, a few text messages and some voicemails. I decided to go through the text messages first.
Thursday, May 13, 2021
Bella: Edward, where did you go? You aren't answering your phone and you looked upset when you left. I don't understand what's going on. Call me, please. xox [10:25pm]
Bella: Why wont you answer your phone? [10:32pm]
Bella: Why wont you answer my texts?! [10:38pm]
Bella: Where are you? [10:40pm]
Bella: Are you coming home? [10:41pm]
Rose: Edward, where are you? Bella is freaking out? Call me! Call Bella! [10:45pm]
Bella: Edward, I love you. I'm worried. Please call me. I need to know you are okay. xox [10:59pm]
Rose: Edward, enough is enough. Call your girlfriend, you fucking ass! [11:35pm]
Rose: Dammit, Edward! Bella is hysterical. Saying you don't love her anymore. She's locked herself in the bathroom and wont come out. Come home! Don't make me call mom! [12:33pm]
Friday, May 14, 2021
Mom: Edward, dear, are you okay? I know you said you were fine. But sleeping in your car in our driveway doesn't seem fine. What is going on? Darling, please let us know if everything is okay. I love you, son. [7:35am]
Rose: You motherfucker! At least mom was able to tell me you are alive. You asshole! Bella is a wreck. She's been up all night bawling her eyes out. She doesn't understand what is going on. She doesn't understand why you left and won't call her back. She's broken. You broke her! I'm so fucking pissed at you right now. CALL. YOUR. GIRLFRIEND. YOU. FUCKING. ASS! [7:41am]
She's broken? No, she fucking broke me! Glad to see Bella still cares enough to worry. But come on! She had just confessed to wanting to have an affair, or end things. Who knows, I wasn't gonna stick around to figure out which one. But it doesn't matter. How could I possibly talk to her? I was in no shape to talk to her last night. Shit, I was crying so hard I didn't even hear my fucking phone. I'm barely able to function right now.
I sat there for several minutes debating whether to call Bella. Or Rose. Or my mom. As I sat there, the voicemail notification was taunting me. I didn't know if I had it in me to listen to them, but curiosity really was getting the better of me. Or was I simply a glutton for punishment?
Deciding I really was a masochist, I dialed into the voicemail.
"Edward, it's me. What's going on? I heard the door slam to the garage, and saw you take off down the driveway. You looked upset, but I'm not sure what's going on. Please, baby, call me back. I'm worried. I love you."
Bella's voice was calm, but full of concern. I knew she heard the door slam when I saw her run out into the driveway. But I couldn't face her. Not after everything I just heard. Skipping to the next message, I heard Bella's sweet voice again.
"Babe, I just tried texting you too, but you aren't texting back. Edward, what's going on? I'm really confused, and I'm worried. Please just let me know what's going on. I love you."
And then again…
"Edward, I need you to come home. I don't know what's happening? Where are you?"
With each new voicemail, Bella's voice became more and more distraught.
"Edward, call me."
"Come home."
"I love you."
Finally, I got to the last message, left around four this morning.
"Baby. I don't understand what's going on. Where are you? Why won't you call me back? Why won't you come home? Do you not love me anymore? Do you not want to be with me anymore? Please. I need to know what's going on. I'm going crazy over here. I can't sleep. I can't… I can't..."
She let out a gut wrenching sob. Her voice was so quiet and filled with such utter despair. She sounded the way I felt. She thought I didn't love her anymore. Hell, I loved her more than anything in this whole world. But I wasn't enough for her. I'm guessing she's only really this upset because she doesn't know that I know. She's concerned because to her, this is all out of the blue. She thought I was clueless, that I thought everything was just fine. Now she knows it isn't. What she doesn't know yet, is that she's getting exactly what she wanted. A chance to be with Jacob.
Eventually, her sobs quieted down and she spoke again into the voicemail.
"I love you, Edward. Even if you don't love me anymore. I will love you. Always. I don't have it in me to go to work today. I'll take a sick day. I just can't. If things are over between us, Edward. Please be kind enough and let me know. Don't just walk away without saying anything. I'll let you go if I must, but please just tell me. Five years is a long time to be in love with your best friend. And right now I need my best friend to tell me the truth. You've always told me the truth. So please, Edward, please..."
I have always told her the truth. I just wish she would have told me. Why did I have to find out this way? I don't want to be without Bella. I wish her being upset meant that she still wanted me. But I heard what she said. She's lonely, and if Jacob is what she wants… The thought made my stomach churn.
How do you call the love of your life back and tell them it's over? Where does that strength come from? Because right now, I can't seem to find it.
I sat there at my desk with my head in my hands. My cell phone on the desk in front of me. I loved Bella so much. I've been in love with her since the moment I met her. I wanted to marry her. Have babies with her. Grow old with her. But now, all those visions have some faceless guy name Jacob with the dark coloring and the dark brown eyes in my place. I could feel the tears running down my face.
I don't know how long I sat there in my office, crying. But I was broken out of my bubble of misery by a knock on my door. I quickly wiped my face and blew my nose before clearing my throat.
"Come in." I tried to sound professional and commanding, but I knew I missed the mark.
"Edward, my boy." Aro said as he opened the door. "I was wondering… Edward what's wrong? Are you okay?" Quickly Aro rushed to my side. He took my hand and tried to provide a bit of comfort. In that moment, he was acting more like a concerned father than a boss.
"I'm fine." I lied.
"I call bullshit. Edward, one look at you and I can see you are not fine."
"It's nothing." I needed to remain professional. Pretty soon all I would have left would be this job. This job, and no Bella. I didn't need to burden my boss with my personal problems.
"Okay, Edward, okay. Why don't you take the rest of the day? Go home. Deal with whatever it is that's going on. Come back feeling better on Monday." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "We'll talk about work on Monday. Until then, I hope you feel better.
I nodded my head in acknowledgement. Aro closed the door behind him as he left my office. Tears continued to stream down my cheeks, and I tried my best to get them to stop. I just need to hold it together long enough to get out of here.
By the grace of God, I made it to my car without seeing anyone besides Aro. I think he was staking out my office to ensure I went home. Home. Do I even have a home anymore? I sat in my car and debated whether or not to go to the home Bella and I once shared. Before I could decide what to do, my phone rang. I picked it up to look at the caller ID. It was my mom. A part of me was disappointed it wasn't Bella. Part of me was glad it wasn't. I didn't want to dodge anymore of her calls but I didn't really want to talk to her over the phone.
I answered the phone, trying my hardest to sound normal. "Hi mom."
"Edward, darling. Are you okay? What's going on? Rose called me frantic this morning, wondering if I had heard from you."
"I'm sorry, mom." I sighed. "I'm just having a bad day… and night. I'll get through it. I'll be okay. I don't want you to worry about me."
"Are you sure, Edward?"
"Yeah, mom, I'm sure. Look, I've got to go. I'll call you soon, okay?"
"Okay. I love you, Edward."
"Love you too, mom."
Hanging up the phone, I took a breath. Thankful I was able to hold it together. I couldn't spend much time reveling in that fact before my phone rang again. Rose. Shit. I really didn't have it in me to talk to Rose, but I knew if I didn't she'd only continue to call and text until I spoke to her. I took too long staring at the phone and missed my chance to answer. Before I could do anything, the phone rang again.
I took a deep breath, cleared my throat as best I could before answering. "Hello, Rose."
"'Don't hello, Rose,' me you motherfucker! Where are you?"
"I'm sitting in my car in the parking garage at work."
"Why? Edward what are you up to?"
"Rose, look. I've had the worst possible day of my entire fucking life. I don't need you making it worse. Okay?"
"You've had the worst day!? Do you even understand what you've put Bella through? You never came home last night. Edward, she was hysterical. Inconsolable. She was so upset, I couldn't bear to leave her. She eventually passed out from the exhaustion of crying all night."
"Well, that makes two of us." I said under my breath.
"What was that?"
"I said, that. Makes. Two. Of us. Do you really think I was off gallivanting around town? Having the time of my life? No! I slept in my fucking car in mom and dad's driveway. I've done nothing but bawl my eyes out for the last, God… I don't even know how many hours. My life is in fucking ruin. Okay?"
"Edward, I'm sorry. I'm just so upset. But you didn't see Bella last night." Rose was no longer screaming at me over the phone. She was clearly still pissed off but had decided to let up a bit it would seem. But none of that could stem my anger back towards her.
"Rose, you didn't see ME! You have no idea what I went through. What I'm dealing with. You and Emmett. You get to have your happy fucking ever after. And what do I get? Huh? I get the love of my fucking life confessing to my sister that she wants to be with someone else. I planned to propose to Bella next month, and she's off scrolling through the internet looking for the next guy to be with. Shit, she didn't even have the decency to dump me before looking for someone new."
I took a breath before continuing, trying my best to sound like Bella. "I guess Edward is good enough as a backup. I guess Edward can stick around until I find someone better. Poor, stupid, worthless, no good, Edward is so clueless. He has no idea. And the best part, I get to keep him around until I know whether or not this thing works out with Jacob." I spit out the last word with all the venom I could muster.
I was panting as I finished my rant. Tears were streaming down my face. I was done. I was so done with this conversation with my sister. I didn't have any more energy to continue.
"Jesus Christ, Edward. Is that what you think is goin' on? You can be such a melodramatic ass! Is that why you took off last night? You overheard Bella and me talking, didn't you? And rather than stay and find out the truth you just assumed you know everything.
"What a pompous, stupid, fucker." Rose say under her breath, but not quite quiet enough for me not to hear her.
"Yeah, I did hear you two. And thank God I did, or who knows how long I would have been clueless. I love her, Rose. I love her so fucking much and this is killing me. It kills me."
"Edward. I think you need to go home. You need to go home right now and talk to Bella. You owe it to yourself, and to Bella, and the five years you've invested in this relationship to talk to her and listen to what she has to say." She let out a big sigh before trying again in a much gentler tone. "Edward, you are my baby brother and I love you. I wouldn't purposefully do anything to hurt you. Neither would Bella. So please, pull your head out of your ass, get a brain cell and do as I say. Go home and talk to Bella. I'm not going to tell her I spoke to you. I think it'll just make things messier, so I'm bowing out. But please, Edward, stop being an ass. Go home and talk to your girl."
Before I could respond, Rose had hung up. I knew I had to face Bella eventually, and time apart would not make it any easier. Rose was right. She has never purposefully hurt me, so I need to take some comfort in the fact that if she is telling me to go talk to Bella, then I probably should.
There were still a few hours before I would technically be done for work, and I wondered if arriving home early would be better or worse for my pending meeting with Bella. I sat and pondered whether she would have gone through with meeting Jacob today as she planned. Rose knows I know about Jacob, but Bella doesn't. And according to Rose, Bella wouldn't until I told her myself. Last night Bella said she would duck out early from work, but now she wouldn't have to. Her voicemail said she was taking a sick day. She sounded horrible-tired and distraught. But would she pass on the opportunity to meet the new guy she wanted to be with? I couldn't even say. This was a Bella I was no longer familiar with. I had no idea what she would or would want to do anymore.
Deciding that I couldn't sit in the parking garage forever, I made my way to our home. Bella's car was in the garage, so she should be home. Or Jacob came and picked her up. God, my subconscious needs to put a sock in it. I made my way into the house, to find the downstairs quiet and empty. I went to the frig and got a beer. I could really use a shot of whiskey or tequila, but we hadn't restocked the bar after our last dinner party with friends. Dinner parties. Just another thing that will perish in the aftermath. My friends will still be mine, hers will still be hers, but what of the shared friends? Rose was my sister but had become extremely close with Bella over the years. Bella's best friend from college, Alice, had moved out to Seattle after a bad post-graduate experience in New York. Here she met my high school buddy, Jasper. And they've been together for a few years now. What will become of my relationship with them?
Then there was this house. This house where we thought we'd build our life together. So many things we brought into this arrangement, but so many more acquired together. How would we even begin to separate our lives? I never thought we'd have to. I thought we'd have forever. Turns out we only had five years.
I finished my beer and threw out the bottle before making my way up to our room. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed. If Bella was out, then that would be my plan. If Bella happened to be home, and hiding out in our bedroom, then the nap would be put on hold.
I walked up the stairs towards our bedroom, and I could hear the soft sounds of Bella's voice. I couldn't yet make out the words, but the tone was lighter than the voicemail she left at 4:00am had been. As I got closer to the closed bedroom door, I could hear her giggle.
God, here I am dying inside, and she's in our bedroom having a grand fucking time.
"Jacob, no. Stop that. Jacob. Give me back my bra!"
What the fuck?