Chapter 14: So...parents, huh?

"Emiya-san."

"Kobayashi-san."

"There is another dragon in my house."

I look to the side to see Tiamat sitting on the sofa with Kanna in her lap, both seem content with their positions with Tiamat stroking Kanna's head like she's some kind of cat. I furrow my brows, now that I think about it...she does act more like a cat than a dragon.

Huh. There's a mental image I won't forget anytime soon.

I turn back to Kobayashi "There is, yes."

She remains blank faced as she stares at me, then looks at Tiamat, then at, the still bowing, Tohru and then back to me "Is there a reason those two are acting that way?"

"Apparently she's their 'Primordial mother'...or at least that's what both Tohru and Lucoa say about her."

She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose "Emiya-san...why is she in my house?"

"Tohru invited us over." I cringe slightly "And the second Tiamat caught sight of Kanna…" I gesture over to them "She hasn't let go of her since." I cross my arms and hum "It might have something to do with her title...but she seems to treat everyone like a child."

Kobayashi raises an eyebrow at me "Everyone?"

"Everyone." I nod "She pats my head if I do something she thinks is good…"

Her face blanks again "Seriously?"

I nod "I did also bring her here for another reason...I can't understand what she says."

Kobayashi blinks at me, then frowns "What do you mean? Is she speaking some fantasy language or something?"

"Aaaaa!" We both turn to the Goddess sitting on the sofa, holding a dragon like a pet, as she stares at us and lets out a small cry.

"Something like that." I sigh "Both Tohru and Lucoa seem to understand her...so I was asking for their help."

"I...I guess that makes sense." Kobayashi shrugs, then turns to Tohru and sighs "Tohru...get off the floor, you are embarrassing yourself."

"K-Kobayshi-san...if I get off the floor without the great mothers permission…" She gives a hissed whisper "Its best if I-"

"Tohru. Now, or I'm making Emiya cook all my meals for the rest of my life."

"What!?" That gets her up in a hurry, she spins around and stares at the pair of us in shock and horror. She looks at Kobayashi with such a level of betrayal I didn't think possible.

Then she turns to me…

Oh…

"You human scumbag!" She virtually shrieks and clears the distance between the two of us in an instant, her hands gripping my shirt and hoisting me into the air "I knew it! You were planning to seduce Kobayashi-san weren't you!" she shakes me violently "WEREN'T YOU!?"

I should be concerned about this, but I'm more worried about Tohru. Tiamat has virtually teleported behind her.

Tohru stops shaking me as she seemingly senses something is wrong. She very slowly lowers me to the ground, I stumble slightly, a little dizzy from being manhandled like that. Tohru herself has gone a shade of white I didn't think was humanly possible…well, she is a dragon so.

She slowly turns around to see Tiamat's face barely a foot from her own "G-gr-great...m-m-mot-" Is as far as she gets before Tiamat's hands suddenly lash out and…

Pinch her cheeks.

Both myself and Kobayashi are treated to the bizarre sight of Tiamat pulling on Tohru's cheeks like she was a troublesome child. Its actually quite awkward to witness.

"S-sowwy!" She continues throwing apologies at the Goddess "I'wm wealy sowwy!"

"This is…" Kobayashi winces, I nod alongside her. Then give her a frown.

"You knew Tohru would react like that." Now she cringes and pointedly looks away from me.

"I don't know what you mean." She freezes when Tiamats gaze falls on her and she instantly spins around to me "I would like to humbly beg your forgiveness, please don't let your dragon mother grip my cheeks. I'm genuinely afraid she'll kill me."

I blink in surprise "Its no problem." and turn back to the pair "Tiamat...I think you can let her go now."

"Aaaa?"

"Yes. She's had enough."

"Aaa." And like that, Tohru is released from Tiamats grasp. She's crying.

"Yeesh." Kobayashi cringes and rubs the back of her neck "She really is a mother, isn't she?"

"Certainly acts like it." I mutter and shake my head, before turning back to Kobayashi "Anyway, I can't really communicate with her, and need Tohru's help...or Kanna's help."

"Well its up to them." Kobayashi shrugs and turns to the pair "Either of you want to help Shirou learn...whatever language she is speaking?"

"Ah." Kanna speaks up for the first time "He can't."

I furrow my brows "Why not?" I ask in confusion, Kanna just stares at me and shakes her head.

"Shirou is human." She points at me "Can't comprehend the old language, brain would melt."

I cringe "Nevermind then…" I let out a sigh "I can't exactly ask you to live with me either."

"Emiya-san." Tohru grips my shoulder and stares me in the eye "The Great mother has decided to live with you...if anyone else were to try, it would be like attempting to stake a claim on your life." she whispers to me in hushed tones "I heard stories about the great mother when she was angry…" she shivers "You have to keep her happy!"

"Well." I shrug "I wasn't planning on making her sad, just…" I look over at her, she's back to petting Kanna like a pet "Its kind of awkward not being able to speak with her properly...I feel kind of bad for having to interpret what she means."

"Trust me...you'll know what she wants." She nods at me "I heard she was also very direct about that."

I look between Tohru and Tiamat before letting out a sigh "Well...it was worth a try I suppose." I look back to the goddess "Come on, Tiamat. We're going home." I'm a little disappointed about this. I wanted to at least be able to understand her.

"Aaa?" She cries and tilts her head slightly, I assume she's a little confused so I decide to elaborate.

"I couldn't get what I was after, so we're going back." I gesture to the door and give her a guilty look "Sorry I couldn't figure out your language."

"Aaaa!" She stands...or rather floats, back to her feet and sits Kanna back on the sofa before joining me on my walk back to the front door.

"Sorry for disturbing you, Kobayashi-san." I nod to her as I leave, she shakes her head and replies back.

"Sorry we couldn't be much help." She looks between me and Tiamat "But...at least you're gonna have some company, right?" she gives a strained smile.

I stare back at her then look at Tiamat before giving a small laugh "I suppose you're right. I'll see you later, Kobayashi-san."

"See you later, Shirou-san."

"Sorry again that I couldn't understand you." I apologise to the dragon goddess again, I genuinely feel bad and kind of feel like I'm speaking to myself whenever I talk to her.

"Aaaa…" She lets out a cry and pats my head, I don't know if its some mental ability she has or if its me but whenever she does that I just feel an overwhelming sense of calmness. Like I'm at peace or something.

Its sort of freaky but at the same time its very comfortable.

"Right, right…" I sigh and shake my head as she withdraws her hand, I assume she was telling me not to worry about it but I can't really help it that much.

I look her up and down and only just realise something.

She's barely wearing any clothes.

She's got a fabric of sorts which covers her arms and her shoulders but that's it and some vague approximation of underwear.

How did I miss this?

"Do you…" I clear my throat "I should have asked Kobayashi if she had any spare clothes." I mutter to myself and go into my draws "I think I've got a jumper around here…"

After a few moments of searching I pull out a black jumper and turn around to Tiamat. Then blink in realisation.

How am I supposed to get it over her horns?

I frown and look between the two, Tiamat follows my gaze to the jumper and then back at me

She floats over and takes the jumper from my hands and stares at it for a few seconds.

"Aaaa!" Seconds later the jumper flashes and suddenly finds itself being worn by her. I stare in surprise. Although it is a little long on the arms, and the body…

It'll do until I can get her some clothes.

Which opens up a new can of worms. How am I going to get her some clothes? I could go and buy them but I'd just be guessing and I don't know if she'd like them or not.

I can't exactly take her outside.

"I...I don't suppose you can do anything about the horns?" I ask, gesturing to the head appendages. Tiamat blankly stares at me for a few seconds before tilting her head slightly.

"Nevermind then." I sigh "I'll figure something out…" I look to the kitchen "Don't suppose you want anything to eat?"

"Aaa!" She cries. When I stare at her blankly she just nods.

I smile at her "I'll make something up then." I walk past her "Feel free to sit where you want for the time being."

I've never really cooked for a goddess before.

I'm a little nervous about that. I mean, I have pride in my cooking skills, but that was with Fuji-nee...who would pretty much eat anything I put in front of her.

Saber was a bit like that as well now that I think about it, although she and Sakura always said I made good food so I suppose I'll take their word for it.

AN: Sup.

Again with the OG chapter below.

Also...for how long this story is going to be?

Probably...like Twenty...maybe a little more chapters.

I blink awake. Rubbing my eyes as I try to refocus myself.

Yesterday was…

On par with what I have come to expect, just my luck to end up summoning a dragon who wants to steal my kitchen and declares herself my wife.

Still, I suppose I can accept it to be a unique version of a madness enhancement, they can't all be crazy like the last Berserker I saw. Still she seemed oddly fine with me setting her up in the guest room.

Hopefully I can wake up early enough to get to the kitchen to make breakfast before her. I realise we set up a timetable, but it's my turn today and its not that I do trust her to uphold it…

But I don't trust her to uphold it.

Any person who thinks its completely reasonable to provide herself with a majority of the kitchen time when they agreed to share it is somewhat unreasonab-

Wait…

Why can I feel someone else on my bed?

I feel something snake around the side of me head and rub me cheek…

I'm aware of light breaths touching the back of my neck, my eyes widen and I suppress and involuntary shiver.

Almost robotically, I turn my head to look behind me.

My amber eyes meet golden ones.

I'm staring at Kiyohime's smiling face.

"Good morning...Shirou-sama." She whispers to me, her face is at such an uncomfortably close distance to me that I can feel her breath on me, she's looking rather flustered now "I just wanted to see your sleeping face, Shirou-sama...however you looked so peaceful that I felt I had to join you…" she says, still looking into my eyes.

I do the only reasonable thing a person in my position should do.

Let out a rather manly scream and fling myself out of the bed as fast as possible "Wha-wha-what!?" I breathe out "What are you doing here!?"

"Ara?" She looks at me rather confused "I was simply sharing your bed."

"WHY!?"

"Because it would be improper for me to sleep in a separate bed to my husband." She smiles down at me and says matter of factly.

"B-but we're not married!"

"Ara...there you go…" She shakes her head "Fufufufu...you seem to say the silliest things Shirou-sama, but that's fine." she gets out of bed and leans down to cup my cheek "It's why I love you so much…"

I shuffle away from her and shoot to my feet, I clear my throat before trying to find what to say to her about how unreasonable what she just did was "Kiyohime-sa-" she glares at me "...Kiyohime. In the future...please don't get into my bed without my consent."

She frowns but eventually nods her head "I suppose I will restrain myself for now...I will have to make do just watching you sleep."

"Please don't do that either." I shut that down immediately, that's kind of creepy. I like to think of myself as an easy going person but I have my limits as to what I'll allow. I turn away from her and move towards the wardrobe "I'm getting dressed and then I'm going to make breakfast."

"I don't mind mak-"

"Kiyohime…" I let out a breath "What did we go over yesterday?"

"…"

"Kiyohime…"

"I'm allowed to make it every other day…" I can hear the pout in her voice, good thing it won't affect me if I can't see it.

"Yes...Also we're visiting the neighbours Later." I say as I slip a shirt on "I think it best we introduce you."

"Ara? Will this be to the mysterious Kobayashi-san?" Now Kiyohime is back to being incredibly interested "I'm curious myself as to who could win the heart of such a loyal housewife as Tohru."

Surprisingly the two of them hit it off yesterday, between Kiyohime commandeering my kitchen to go around Tohru's ban and their conversation it seems the two of them have a lot in common.

Its just unfortunate that the things they have in common are an unhealthy dose of possession of their 'Masters'.

Suddenly I feel very empathetic to Kobayashi...I really hope Tohru hasn't snuck into her bed.

"Shirou-san…" Kobayashi's eyes flick between myself and Kiyohime, she raises a confused eyebrow at us, however before she can question it Tohru comes running up behind her.

"Ah! Kiyohime!" She grins as she comes to a stop next to Kobayashi "You came to visit!"

"Yes." Kiyohime nods "My Husband-" she gestures to me and I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh "-Thought it would be best to introduce me to the others living here." her eyes travel towards Kobayashi "Is this your beloved?"

"Yes!" Tohru grins "This is Kobayashi-san! She's my wife!"

"EH!?" Kobayashi whirls on the girl "Don't say things like that! We're not even married!"

"Ara?" Kiyohime blinks, then sends Tohru a...sympathetic look? "You too?"

"Yep!" Tohru shakes her head "But I'll get her to admit her love for me eventually! I think you'll get Emiya-san to admit his too!"

"Indeed." The two begin to chat to eachother as Tohru leads the other girl inside, leaving myself and Kobayashi alone in the door way.

"Shirou-san…" Kobayashi sends me a questioning look "What the heck was that?"

I rub my forehead in exasperation "That...was E rank luck…"

"What the heck did she mean about being your wife?"

"She's…" I cross my arms, how best to explain this "She's a bit like Tohru...I suppose, in that she likes to supplant common sense with her own reasoning…"

"I see…" She raises an eyebrow "Is she also…?"

"Yeah…" I nod "She's a dragon…"

Kobayashi flashes me a sympathetic look as well, which basically translates to 'Welcome to my world' or 'I feel your pain'.

"Come in…" Kobayashi steps aside and gestures for me to enter "I suspect there is a story here about your...wife…"

"Pardon the intrusion." I step into the flat and take off my shoes "And please...don't encourage her...she snuck into my bed while I was sleeping."

"Yikes…" Kobayashi cringes "Took me a while to convince Tohru to stop doing that, what's she like though...apart from her apparently creepy habits."

"She tried to take over my kitchen." I narrow my eyes "I had to fight for my right to cook and do my own chores."

"...You get worked up over the strangest things…" Kobayashi chuckles as I flash her a curious look "Most people would be ecstatic about someone taking over the housework."

"I'm not most people." I shake my head at her, then feel a burning sensation in the side of my head. Myself and Kobayashi turn to see the heated glares of Kiyohime and Tohru directed at us.

A rather heavy atmosphere is present which tells us that we've been too friendly.

"I'm not in love with him/her." We both reply at the same time, instantly the glares vanish and are replaced with smiles as they disappear back through to the kitchen. I let out a sigh, this is going to become a theme.

"Welcome to my world, Shirou-san…" Kobayashi pats me on the back "Welcome to my world…"

"Thanks…" I shake my head and look around "Where's Kanna?"

"Ah, she's still asleep I think." Kobayashi replies "Want me to wake her up?"

"No, I'll let her sleep." I wave her off "She's a...young girl...I think she's young…" I look over at Kobayashi "How old is she anyway? Because Tohru is...a few hundred years old or something."

I wouldn't know how to feel if Kanna was actually say, several hundred years older than me. It'd be weird for me to treat someone older than me like a kid.

"I…" She frowns "I don't know...She looks like a kid and she never complained about it so I just figured I'd keep treating her like one."

I nod my head "I suppose…" I sniff the air, something is cooking...it doesn't smell too bad "That'll be Kiyohime…"

"You can tell?" I nod "How?"

"Cooking dragon meat produces a rather specific smell." I reply "That and I had her cooking last night...it's not too bad."

"If you're saying its not too bad it must be cook." Kobayashi chuckles as we move further into the flat "Has she tried you're cooking yet?"

"It's unacceptable!" We turn to see Kiyohime crossing her arms and frowning at me "How can I prove myself a capable housewife if you do all the chores and match me in cooking skill!"

"I take that as a yes then?"

"Yes." She tried the breakfast, then stared at the empty bowl for nearly half an hour, muttering something about having to practice to fulfil her obligations as a wife. I suppose that means I'll just need to keep practising as well.

The longer I can match her, the longer I can avoid her completely taking over the kitchens.

"So...how'd you end up with a dragon of your own?" She asks as we sit down at the table, Tohru and Kiyohime still cooking in the kitchen.

"Lucoa came to me yesterday." I begin "She was asking me to clear up a misunderstanding with her summoner. Seems that she interrupted a demon summoning ritual performed by some kid, although he still thought that she was a demon of sorts."

"Why'd she come to you?"

"Kid was from a family of mages." I reply, I would have kept this quiet, although it seems Mages are very different here than back home. Considering the flippant use of Tohru's magical powers in the open and the lack of memory wiping or secret killings going on "She thought that because I was a magus I'd be able to sort it out."

"Did you?"

"Think so. Well, we convinced him he'd summoned a dragon rather than a demon...although given what Lucoa told me she'd been trying to do to the kid I'd say he wasn't wrong when he thought she was a succubus." I frown, kid looked no older than ten and Lucoa isn't exactly what I'd call the 'average woman'. Trying to bath naked with him is extremely inappropriate...and probably illegal.

Kobayashi snorts "A succubus? I can see it…" she looks back over to the kitchen "So how'd you end up with your new friend?"

"I asked to have a look at the summoning circle...and accidentally triggered it."

Kobayashi cringes "That sucks…"

"Well...she's not too bad...I think…" I frown in thought "Although she hates lies…"

"I'm not too fond of lying either."

"Yeah, but you don't threaten physical bodily harm to liars, do you?" I raise an eyebrow at her, the woman cringes.

"No…" She frowns "I guess how that could be considered a little...over the top."

"Just a little…"

"Shirou?" I look to my left and see Kanna waddling over to us "Why aren't you cooking?"

Of course that's the first think Kanna asks "Because Tohru and Kiyohime have stolen away the kitchen." I gesture over to the pair of Dragons, Kanna blinks and tilts her head in confusion.

"Kiyo...hime?"

"Yeah…" I nod my head "The Dragon who is staying with me…"

"Oh…" She nods her head, she's very accepting of bizarre circumstances isn't she?

"Of course I don't see a problem with it." I turn my head to see Tohru and Kiyohime wandering over with whatever they made for lunch, the latter having a conversation with Kiyohime about something "It's only natural to want to see their face while they sleep. I sometimes watch Kobayashi sleep."

"I knew it." Kiyohime nods "It was just an overreaction from Shirou-sama."

"Yeah!" Tohru nods "He'll get used to it...or you just need to do it in secret." I feel a drop of sweat run down my brow, they are completely unreasonable.

"Here you go Kobayashi-san!" Tohru slides an omurice in front of Kobayashi and Kiyohime does the same to me.

"Here you are, Shirou-sama." I blink as she sits down next to me and holds a spoon to my face "Say, ahhh~"

"Kiyohime…" I frown "I am quite capable of-"

"Ahhh~"

"I don't nee-"

"Ahhh~"

"I don't need to-"

"Say ah."

"...Ahhh" she smiles and sticks the spoon into my mouth.

"Well? How does my love for you taste?" She grins at me, knowing full well what I'll say but I really wish she didn't phrase it like that.

"It's nice." I nod my head and turn to Tohru "Did you make some for Kanna?" I gesture to the white haired girl who is staring up at us.

"Ah!" She gapes "I forgot! Kiyohime and myself were so enraptured about our love talk that we forgot about it!"

I shake my head "I'll make her som-" I feel a hand placed on my shoulder, I look over at Kiyohime staring into my eyes.

"There is no need, Shirou-sama. I'll make her something."

"I want Shirou's food." Kanna speaks, narrowing her eyes at Kiyohime.

"As his wife, I cannot allow himself make food while he is a guest." She smiles down at the girl.

Kanna begins to exude a rather potent cloud of hostility "Shirou's food."

"A rather begging little lizard, aren't you?" Kiyohime drops all formality, her face marred with a frown "You should watch out when feeding strays, Shirou-sama. Sometimes you find you can't get rid of them." she narrows her eyes at Kanna "Especially those who disguise themselves as little girls, they take advantage of people as generous as you."

Kanna grips my sleeve "Shirou shouldn't hand out with creepy people who watch him sleep." I think I can see sparks shooting between the pair of them if I look hard enough.

"Kanna-chan, Kiyohime…" I interrupt the two "Lets not start fighting right now. I'll make lunch for Kanna-chan, Kiyohime."

"Bu-"

"I'll make her something." I repeat, she looks like she wants to argue but stops herself and sighs.

"Shirou-sama is too generous." Yeah...I really am.