Eywa's Gift

by Winged Lady Colette

Neteyam has always been told that Ewya has a plan for all her children and he has always believed that. But after having been wrong so many times about his true purpose in life, it was a relief to him to have finally learned what he was supposed to do, and that was to die for his family, so that they may live. Little did he know, that wasn't the end.

5. I hear you

Author's Note: I'm sorry about the wait! Thank you all so much for your kind words. I know it's very slow going but I hope that you guys are still enjoying. I am really loving this story and this fandom. Do let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Light didn't return to Pandora and the clan spent the remainder of the night in utter blackness.

As promised, though, they were back the next morning, a few hours after sunrise to give the Olo'eyktan, Tsahik and their family time to get up and get ready for the day, but as one the entire Sully family anxiously waited outside the marui as Neytiri called out to the family, asking for entry. Despite having all gone home hours earlier, aside from Tuk, hardly any of them had any sleep. Lo'ak and Kiri spent most of the night tossing and turning, while Jake and Neytiri just laid side-by-side, staring at the ceiling of their home, anxiously counting down the minutes until sunrise and then somehow able to control themselves and not race to the largest marui in the village that houses the clan's chief.

Tsireya whips open the cloth used for privacy that acts like a door open, her blue eyes wide as she gasps. "Come! Quick!" Before spinning around and disappearing into the marui again, cloth fluttering closed behind her.

Terror slices through the Sully family as they all race in, Tuk grabbing the hand of the person closest to her - Lo'ak - in a death grip. Lo'ak pulls her close as they make their way inside.

Tonowari and Ao'nung both sit beside Neteyam's body, which appears to have no moved an inch from the last time they saw him mere hours before. Tsireya lowers down next to her dad, mouth hanging open while Ronal stands with a hand cupping the lower half of her face, creases set heavily between her eyes.

"What?" Neytiri gasps, voice raspy. "What has happened to Neteyam? Is he alright?" She falls to her knees at his feet, eyes studying him, immediately noting the gentle rise and fall of his stomach and chest, clearer now than it was last night.

"What's wrong?" Kiri asks a moment later, stepping up next to Ronal while Jake squats down by Neytiri and Lo'ak and Tuk drop down next to Ao'nung.

"Is he going to die?" Tuk asks, terror in her voice.

"No, Tuk," Tsireya says gently, blue eyes locking onto the small girl across from her. "Look at his skin."

All eyes turn down to the slumbering boy before them. It's obvious at first glance what is different. Tuk was right when she thought that the night before it seemed like Neteyam's skin was different. Patches along every part of his body were horribly miscolored. Blobs of shapelessness ending in distinct tendrils line his body up and down from his feet to his calves to his thigh and hips, his stomach and chest and even wrapping the junction between his neck and shoulders down toward a very distinct splotchy scar over the center of his chest.

These marking aren't symmetrical, and the branches ends all appear to be different in sizes. Some are longer and thinner, others thicker and shorter. The only commonality shared is that they all mostly follow forward from the blobs themselves. Acting more like lines coming from a larger, thicker line than spreading outward like a tree branch. And as far as Lo'ak could tell, they were all four smaller branches. Both ends are shorter than the middle ones.

And then there was the one beneath what could only be the bullet wound scarred over. This one was splayed out, unlike the others. The branch thinner but fine smaller pieces spread out for it, four set to one side of the scar and one, smaller one on the other side. All the larger parts of the branches disappear beneath him. These strange designs are distinctly paler, somewhere between the natural dark blue of the skin and the light markings. The scar is a pale, chalky white color and the normally lighter markings are stark white beneath these strange branch-like abnormalities on his skin.

Lo'ak reaches out and touches one of the branch markings on his brother's arm, expecting it to feel different, but it doesn't. It just feels like regular skin, soft and warm to the touch. He slowly runs his hand up and down his brother's arm, eyes wide. Tsireya watches the movement, cocking her head to the side.

"Woah," Tuk says, eyes wide. "What are these?"

"I don't know," Ao'nung says, voice low. "We noticed it this morning. They don't feel different, but he didn't have them before."

"A sign from Eywa, no doubt," Tonowari says, glancing at his wife to confirm. Ronal nods in agreement.

"Nothing about this is normal," Ronal says, her own voice even as she lowers her hand to her side and glares down at the sleeping boy, deep in thought. "I don't know if anyone has ever been brought back to life before. I'll have to look back through our recorded history to see if any Tsahik before me has seen or heard anything of the like."

Quietly, Neytiri offers, "I could ask my mother as well. She is Tsahik."

Ronal nods in agreement, not at all offended. "It's best to see if the forest Na'vi know of anything too. Our home is big and Eywa interacts with all of us differently."

Tuk tilts her head back and forth a few times, lips scrunched together as she trails a thin, pointed finger on her brother's shin. "But what are these? They look weird. Why would Eywa put something weird on Neteyam's body? They look like weird tree branches. Is it because our home is in the forest?"

Tsireya gasps, her body jolting, eyes going wide as her hands fly up to her mouth. "Oh!"

"What?" Tonowari asks, glancing over at his daughter at the same time at Kiri asks, "What's wrong?"

"It's not branches!" Tsireya gasps. Her large blue eyes turn to the second Sully son, holding out her hand. "Lo'ak, give me your hand."

Lo'ak is stunned for only a moment before he leans over his brother, offering his hand to the other girl. She takes his wrist and lowers it to Neteyam's chest, placing it over the mark right under the bullet scar on his chest. All eyes fallow the movement, then stare.

"They aren't branches, they're hands." Kiri stiffens at the words, eyes staring pointedly at the five-fingered hand marking beneath Lo'ak's own hand.

Tsireya pulls her hand from Lo'ak's and moves her own to place it on top of one of the hand markings on Neteyam's right arm, then looks around at all the faces. Her fingers are a little smaller than the one she placed her hand over, but unmistakably, it was the hand of a Na'vi. Everyone takes a long moment just staring at the markings, absorbing this new information.

At his feet, Neytiri reaches out and touches another mark, her eyes widening. She runs her fingers down the inside of his ankle, over the mark, her lips parting in wonder. "Our ancestors saved him. Our ancestors and Great Mother." Neytiri brings her hands to her chest, closing her eyes and letting out a little sigh. "Thank you, Great Mother. Thank you."

Everyone in the room bows their heads, murmuring their thanks, except for Jake, who stares down at Neteyam's sleeping face. He presses his lips together tightly, waiting a beat for the rest of the room to lift their heads again before looking over his shoulder to Ronal, "Do you think he's going to wake up soon?"

"He is definitely stronger today than he was yesterday," Ronal says, "but it is up to him if he is ready to wake up."

All heads turn toward Neteyam's sleeping face as if he would suddenly spring up and say that he was alright, but there was no movement. Neteyam just breaths quietly, looking more peaceful than he has in a long time. Jake hesitates a moment, before standing slowly rising until he's hunched over walking around to Ao'nun, Lo'ak and Tuk's side to be next to Neteyam's head, and the three of them scoot down a bit to give him some room.

Face hard set, he lowers to his knees, staring down at Neteyam's face. He places a hand delicately on his cheek, very lightly brushing his thumb across the soft skin under his eye. Jake stares down at Neteyam's sleeping face, letting out a long, slow breath. "We're waiting for you, sweet boy. We'll wait forever, but don't make us wait that long. We've... missed you more than you will ever know."

"Yeah, bro," Lo'ak says softly, finally pulling his hand back, but his eyes are still on it, curiously.

"We miss you, Neteyam," Tuk says sweetly.

Jake feels his eyes start to burn, so he closes them, willing the pain in his chest and the heat in his eyes to cool down. He keeps his eyes closed for a long few moments before leaning down and pressing his lips to Neteyam's forehead before leaning back and turning his eyes toward Ronal. "Will we be able to take him home once he's stable enough?"

Ronal nods. "You can probably take him back home now if you want. I've been watching him throughout the night and his strength is growing as is his connection to Eywa. I finished with what I wanted to this morning as the sun was coming up, and I can just come to see him tonight to check on him. If you wish to take him home, you may."

Neytiri, Lo'ak and Tuk all clearly perk up in excitement. Tuk is bouncing up and down, glancing up at Lo'ak, who is grinning, mirrored by Neytiri's grin.

"Thank you, Tsahik," Neytiri says.

"Thank you, Tsahik," both her daughters and her younger son echo, making Tsireya giggle. Ronal gives a sharp nod but says nothing more.

"Thank you, Chief," Neytiri follows up, her grin widening a bit in gentle amusement.

"Thank you, Chief," the Sully children echo once more. The chief, looking amused, offers a little nod, the corners of his lips turning up. He appears more appreciative of their thanks than Ronal, but she also keeps rubbing away at her face and her eyes. She looks more and more drained.

Taking pity on her, Jake nods his head to the Tsahik before motioning for the Lo'ak, Tuk, and Ao'nung to scoot over. Lo'ak and Tuk jump out of the way, excited for Neteyam to be brought home. Ao'nung looks over at his mother, mouth opening, before he considers for a moment and closes it once more, looking down at his feet as he shuffles back out of the way. He ignores the weight of Tsireya's gaze on his face.

Jake moves over to Neteyam's side and with Tonowari's help, they sit up the limp boy. Jake wraps his arms under his shoulders and knees, slowly climbing to his feet. Tonowari rises with him, helping Jake secure his hold. He steps back when Jake offers him a grim nod before turning and heading for the entrance of the marui, Neteyam's arms and long, unwinding braids dangling beneath him. The distinct sound of the beads usually woven into his braids is absent as is all of Neteyam's accessories that usually hang off his loin cloth, and his necklace, and anything else that he could have been wearing was absent.

Stepping out into the light strikes a stark contrast with the new hand marks on Neteyam, making them stand out against the other parts of his usually dark blue skin. With Neteyam's neck bared to the sky Jake catches a glimpse of the same white fingers all pointed toward the column of his throat and another beginning at his jawline with faint traces beneath his ears, but his face is mostly the same as it always had been.

Jake frowns but says nothing as he heads back toward their marui, ignoring the looks of the Metkayina send their way as he goes. No doubt Tonowari will tell them what happened, but Jake isn't interested in being around to hear that.

"Dad."

Jake glances over at Lo'ak, who steps up next to him. "Um, do you remember that lake we found in the forest last week?"

Jake frowns at the question, obviously remembering it but unsure as to why Lo'ak was bringing it up. He nods. "Why? Now really isn't the time to be playing around for your mother and I. You can take your sisters to play there, if you want."

Lo'ak gives him a weird look. "No, dad. Neteyam. He... well, he should get cleaned up. You know how he is." Lo'ak looks at his older brother, unraveling hair and genuinely unkempt. Neteyam always took pride in ensuring that he always looked as presentable as possible. Something their grandmother drilled into him as he was destined to one day be Olo'eyktan. And it just never worked its way out of him.

Especially his hair. He could settle with all the trinkets on his arms and hanging from his loincloth and belts, but he always had his hair styled and never without accessories, always trying to remain presentable. Lo'ak, on the other hand, sometimes fights his mom to keep his braids in another day because he's too lazy to sit still for a few hours while his mother makes it up all nice once more.

Neteyam, though, never waited another day. As soon as it was time to get them redone, he made sure to be there.

He would be upset to wake up with the one thing that he took pride in looking like an absolute mess. Lo'ak wasn't going to let that happen. If his brother was going to wake up soon, it was going to be in the way he would have wanted. Well groomed.

"His braids are a mess," Kiri says slowly, walking up, her eyes trailing the dangling braids, most of which are in various stages of unravel. "You know he would hate this."

"We can wash him in the lake," Neytiri says, placing her hands on Lo'ak shoulders and pressing a kiss to his temple, which makes him smile. It's been a long time since his mother has look relaxed in any way. Gentle, soft, even.

Jake nods, finally picking up what Lo'ak was putting down. "Sure. Wash up his hair for him. Then we can braid it again once he wakes back up."

"Lo'ak, Tuk," Neytiri says softly, looking at the two youngest Sully children. Both glance over at her. "Can you grab all of our stuff? We might as well all get cleaned up." Excited, Tuk bounces in the air before racing forward and taking Lo'ak's hand. Together, the two of them race ahead to get to their marui to gather their supplies. Once their gone, Jake changes direction a bit to head down the path that will take them into the forest.

After a few moments of silence, walking between Jake, who is still carrying a sleeping Neteyam, and Neytiri, walking with her hands behind her back, Kiri turns to look over at Neteyam, her eyes wide. After sucking in a deep breath, she says, "That's mom's hand, isn't it?"

Neytiri's ears quirk at her words, turning her own golden eyes toward Neteyam's chest, at the five-fingered mark. She brings one of her hands up to her mouth, eyes widening at the realization. She lets out a little gasp and looks at the side of Jake's face. His expression is still flat, eyes trained ahead. She feels a frown pull at the corner of her mouth but before she can say anything, Jake looks down at the mark on Neteyam's chest, ears flattening.

"I... think it is. She's..." Jake lets out a little sigh, eyebrows pulling together as he looks down at Neteyam's sleeping face. "She's still cleaning up after me, I think, baby girl."

Kiri's ears flicker a bit, glancing up at her dad's face, a frown now pulling on her lips as well. She turns her eyes toward Neytiri, but the taller Na'vi woman shakes her head a little which silences the question on the younger girl's lips. Kiri's head and ears drop, her tail flicking back and forth behind her.

They make it to the pound deep in the forest, something that Lo'ak found one day when he stomped out during an argument with Kiri, where Jake chased after him. They spent a few hours sitting by that pond where Jake just quietly listened to Lo'ak rant and rave about until his anger dissipated. Since then, whenever the Sully family wanted to wash up in their own little private area, seeing as not a lot of Metkayina travel deep into the small forest on the island outside of searching for things that they would need for around the village.

So, it was their own little private place.

Not needing to bathe, both Neytiri and Jake saw to Neteyam once Tuk and Lo'ak got there with their supplies. As the other kids bathed, Jake held Neteyam in the waist high water as Neytiri worked out his braids, running her fingers through the stubborn strands as gently as she could until all the braids were out, and the hair was as flat as it was going to get. It surrounds his head in a black halo as Neytiri washes it.

Kiri is helping Tuk while Lo'ak is making it harder for her, splashing little waves at the youngest Sully child, making Kiri glare at him over the top of Tuk's head. Tuk giggles at her brother, splashing back him, relief in her eyes at the amused grin from her immediate older brother.

Once Neteyam's hair and body is clean, Jake rests him by the water, giving himself a moment to relax his arms from having been carrying Neteyam around for so long. He makes sure that he's comfortable on a patch of grass right at the edge of the pond by the deep end so that it was just a sudden drop into the waist high water, but Jake had easy access to him, laying Neteyam on his side. Jake is worried how long he was laying on his back. Jake knows all about bedsores. He's not sure if it's something that Na'vi can get but he doesn't want to risk it. Plus, he knows that Neteyam has always been a side sleeper, like Neytiri. Lo'ak and Tuk are both back sleepers like him. Kiri flops around all over the place.

Now, realistically Jake knows that it'll take more time than just a day for bedsores to appear, but what if, despite what Ronal said about him getting stronger, he never wakes up again? Or that bullet did something terrible? What if fate repeats itself? Like father like son.

The thought alone makes him sick to his stomach. He turns from staring at Neteyam's sleeping face after having adjusted him ever so slightly for the fifth time in two minutes to see Neytiri staring at him.

"Ma Jake," Neytiri starts.

"I know," Jake snaps, ears immediately flattening at his tone. He looks at her embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

Neytiri looks on nonplussed. She hesitates for a moment before moving closer to her mate, laying a gentle hand on his arm, staring knowingly into his downward cast eyes. "We..." She says slowly, trying to find the words. Jake's ears flatten more against his skull as he glances over at Neteyam again, still sleeping peacefully. He can hear his other children laughing and splashing one another. Laughing, from his children. A sound he feels like he hasn't heard in a lifetime. And it hurts his heart to hear.

Hesitating a moment more, Neytiri finally says, "We made beautiful children."

Jake perks up a bit at that, glancing back down at Neytiri. "What?"

Neytiri smiles faintly at his confusion. "Our children, Ma Jake. They are all so beautiful. We played our part in making them so, as did the Great Mother, but they did all the rest. No matter what, they are still our beautiful children."

Jake stares at her, confused. "You think I'm worried about how he looks? I've never worried about how any of our children looked," Jake argues softly, hearing the lie as soon as he says it. His body stiffens as his eyes turn to his son - this time the younger of the two. Lo'ak has a big smile on his face as Kiri and Tuk team up on him, his five-fingered hands are held up to protect his face from the water droplets. Kiri's own five-fingered hand doing the same.

Neytiri follows his eyes smiling gently at her children before looking back at Jake with a knowing look. "You were so happy that Neteyam was like me. So, he would fit in easily. But Lo'ak. You always worried about Lo'ak and Kiri. Were always a lot more defensive with them. I remember when they were little, Ma Jake. How you would carry them everywhere. How you would glare at the clan for staring at them too long. How you used being Toruk Makto to defend them. How you felt that you had to be their shield from everything because of a single extra finger on each hand."

She wasn't lying. Jake knew he was a lot more protective of Kiri and Lo'ak because of their extra fingers, a clear piece of Jake - and Grace - that they both showed, but were Kiri was enough like someone most of the clan didn't know overly well, Lo'ak kept growing to be more and more like Jake, making it significantly harder to look after him. To keep him out of trouble. To protect him. So, when he wasn't around to do that, he always trusted that Neteyam would be able to do that. Which wasn't fair for any of them.

And the war with the sky people changed a lot too. Jake couldn't be as kind and loving to his children like he wanted to be and something as simple as a nightmare at night that used to send Tuk to him and Neytiri for comfort turned into Neteyam. Jake would awaken to her gasped cries as she would quickly shuffle from her bed roll and flop down into Neteyam's arms and cry softly. And he would hold her close and whisper sweet words to her until she fell asleep.

Neytiri thought it was sweet. Thought that Neteyam was being such a good brother that his younger siblings felt safe with him, but Jake saw it for what it was. Na'vi families are extremely close - close enough to all bathe together which wasn't something Jake was used to. But Jake realized that they were siphoning Neteyam's childhood from him, forcing adulthood on him before he was really old enough, at least in Jake's opinion. Yes, Neteyam can take care of his siblings and be a good big brother, but once his siblings started looking at him as another parental figure, Jake knew that it had been taken too far, but the return of the Sky People prevented Jake from attempting to rectify the situation until it was too late.

Neteyam has always exhibited this strong responsibility for his siblings and Jake blames himself entirely. He saw it happening and was unable to stop it. He needed help. More than just himself and Neytiri. And in relying on Neteyam, they stole his life from him.

And Jake feels endless shame for having ruined his own son's life. Ruined it up until the point where he lost it. Neteyam never got to live until the day he died.

Carrying Neteyam around today has proven to Jake what he's felt all this time; Neteyam is still just a child. Fifteen years old and he's still light enough to be carried around by Jake. Despite being taller and lankier than his siblings, Jake can't believe how light Neteyam is, and maybe it has something to do with what happened to him, but even now, glancing over at his son, he can see the lines of his ribs, his hip bones sticking out further than Jake would find any sort of comfort in. His children have always been out and about, running around and playing, managing to keep fit as all Na'vi do, but terror nags at the back of Jake's mind.

If he noticed his son taking the spot of the unofficial third parent too late, what else did he not notice? Neteyam has never needed him to keep a watchful on him so what else has fallen under the radar? What else has he failed to notice? To put a stop to before it got out of hand? He didn't even realize that Lo'ak thought that Jake hated him until his youngest son just blurted it to his face.

He's failing all his children, but none more than his sons.

Jake lets out a long-winded sigh, rubbing at his face in exhaustion. He's basically operating on two days without adequate sleep and he's starting to feel it. Who knows when he'll be able to sleep again. Not that he was sleeping all that much these last few weeks, but still. His mind is racing and every time he tries to grab hold of the simple joys - Neteyam is here, his children are laughing - and yet all he can feel is dread. Neytiri had been locked down since Neteyam died and now she appears to be doing alright. Her eyes hold dark shadows and her eyes keep flickering over to their son, as his did, to assure herself that he was still there, but she seems to be finding peace in this. He can't do that.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Jake finally mutters, looking at Neytiri with a worn expression. "I keep failing my kids. I don't know what to do. I don't want Neteyam to wake up to a harder life than the one that he..." Jake swallows, unable to voice it out loud. Jake didn't care what his children looked like. He just wanted them to be happy and healthy. But he knew that the Na'vi weren't as welcoming to what was different. Especially where the Sky People were involved. And now Neteyam wore proof of what they did to him across his skin.

And the intervention of those that died. Grace and who knows who else. Maybe Eytukan? Maybe Slywannin? Maybe even Tsu'tey? Jake has no idea. But a part of him kind of hopes so. To think that his son wasn't alone for even a moment.

Especially since Jake could never be there for him in a way that mattered.

Neytiri's face scrunches up in pain. "Ma Jake, you did not fail our children. They know that you love them. And they love you too." Jake didn't doubt that for a moment. Even if they know - now, in Lo'ak opinion - that he loves them and while he never doubted their love for him, it doesn't mean that he didn't fail them. It just means that they are more forgiving than he deserves.

Lo'ak laughs, turning to look over at his parents, smile fading a bit at the concerned look on his mother's face and the hard one on his father's. He opens his mouth, about to ask if they were okay, his eyes catch movement. He looks down in time to watch as Neteyam slowly pushes stubborn long black strands behind his ear and out of his face as he turns dark eyes between his parents, looking dazed and confused.

For a moment, Lo'ak chokes on his breath as he blinks rapidly, expecting Neteyam to go back to the way he was, but he watches as those golden eyes flicker around at whatever he could see from where he was laying on his side next to the pond. He brings a long, multicolored hand down to the hair resting on his neck and chest, pushing the damp strands behind his shoulder and out of his way, blearily.

Lo'ak's heart pounds in his chest as he makes his way over quickly, stopping in front of Neteyam, who jerks at the loud sound and the small splash of water that tickles his face.

"Lo'ak, what are you - " Jake starts but then stops when he spots the jolt from Neteyam. "Neteyam?"

"Bro," Lo'ak whispers, leaning up to his older brother, feeling the rock dig into his chest and gut but he doesn't care, he just stares at his brother's face as Neteyam weakly wipes water droplets from his cheek. "Neteyam? Can you hear me, bro?"

Neteyam opens dim golden eyes and turn them toward Lo'ak as tears slide down the younger of the two's face. He sucks in a shuttering breath, reaching out to put a hand on Neteyam's shoulder, trying to get those eyes to focus on him.

"Neteyam? Bro? It's me. Lo'ak. Your brother. Can you hear me? Are you here with me?" Lo'ak asks, voice shaking. "Please, say something, bro. I just need you to say something. Anything. Please, bro. Please." He feels his parents pull closer. His mom's left-hand lands on Neteyam's hair, running her fingers lightly through it while the other lands on Lo'ak's back, rubbing comfortingly.

Lo'ak rubs roughly at his face with one hand while the other squeezes his brother's boney shoulder. "Neteyam, please. Please, Neteyam. I'll do anything. Just please, say something. Please, bro, I need to hear you. Please."

Neteyam swallows, dim eyes drooping closed again, exhaustion painting his features. He licks his lips a bit, letting out a sigh before opening them a bit to turn toward Lo'ak and whispers, voice rough but familiar, "I'm here, Mighty Warrior. I hear you."

Lo'ak sobs as he pulls himself up and out of the water to sit on the ledge and fall down into his brother's arms. Neteyam rolls onto his back and wraps his arms around Lo'ak, pulling him close to his chest and closing his eyes. Lo'ak is careful to keep most of his weight off of his brother, but buries his face into his neck, feeling sobs rip from him uncontrollably.

"It's all my fault, Neteyam. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. It's all my fault. Please forgive me, Neteyam. Please. I love you, bro. I love you. I missed you so much. Forgive me. Please forgive me. I'll do anything. I'll do everything. Please, Neteyam." He's not sure of how much of this can be made out, but he feel's Neteyam's gentle hands on him. One, rubbing up and down his back, while the other is pressing into his hair, keeping him close.

Neteyam doesn't respond. He just holds Lo'ak close as he slips further and further into slumber once more. Tuk is now in Neytiri's arms, staring with wide, watery eyes at her brothers while Kiri is standing next to Jake, reaching out and taking his hand. Jake's hand closes tightly around Kiri's but he doesn't pull his eyes from his sons.

Neteyam's gentle ministrations slow more and more until they stop all together and he falls to sleep once more, sighing peacefully in whatever he sees in his dreams.