"Home at last!" Gel announced to no one in particular, but loud enough to awaken Wayne from his brief slumber.
The axolotl's residence was much larger than Wayne had anticipated. It was at least twice the size of his home back in Florida, and it was built on the foundations of a giant, blue toadstool, making the dwelling look more like a tower than a house.
"Whoa." was the only thing Wayne could conjure from his mouth in that moment.
Gel unhitched the cart from the gargantuan snail and led her by the reins into some stables attached to the base of the otherworldly abode.
Wayne began climbing out of the small, rectangular cart until Gel suddenly appeared before him. "Hold!" he yelled, holding his hand up. "I have a few questions for you to answer before you can even set foot on me land, boy! Is that understood?"
Wayne, a bit perturbed, eased himself back into the cart and nodded.
Gel rested one elbow on the cart, something Wayne would have to bend over considerably to accomplish. "First of all, you ain't no frog and you ain't no newt, and sure as the King's might you ain't no toad. What are ye then?"
"I'm a human." Wayne responded simply. Gel didn't seem to recognize the term.
"Where ye from, 'human'?"
"Florida, err, that is, Earth."
"Never heard of it!" Gel shouted in exasperation, frustrated at the new questions forming in his head from what were supposed to be answers.
"I think I'm in another world," Wayne stated flatly, "and I'm trying to find a way back home."
Gel eased back on his aggressive tone and pondered this information for a bit, then he turned a suspicious eye on Wayne. "Do you have any proof?"
Wayne slumped his shoulders back and sighed. It was Peggy all over again. "How am I supposed to prove something like that!" he exclaimed with frustration.
Then he remembered the gray gem in his knapsack. "Wait," He fished the mysterious object out and presented it to Gel. "Does this mean anything?"
Gel took the gem and admired it for a moment. It had a pristine, geometric cut unattainable by any ordinary craftsmanship, and the unusual hue of the gem puzzled him.
"Where did you get this?" he asked, still turning the gem about in his hand.
"I found it in my coat pocket when I woke up." Wayne replied.
"Well, finders keepers, I suppose," Gel said with a shrug, handing the gem back to Wayne, "but it doesn't explain a thing," he continued. "I may be able to find something if I read into it a bit, but for now I'll just say you can be somewhat trusted. Let's get inside then."
Gel motioned for him to follow as he turned to enter the mushroom of a home, but he stopped when he saw a note pinned to the door by a small, crude knife. He tore the note off the door, glanced at it for a few seconds, and placed it in his apron pouch.
"Nothing serious, right?" Wayne inquired, catching up with him at the door.
"No, nothing to worry your head about." Gel assured him.
Wayne was skeptical. Anything stuck to a door with a knife was bound to be serious. He decided to keep his mouth shut for now, though.
He followed Gel inside, ducking below the low doorframe. The interior was pretty empty, with hardly any furniture besides a couch and an armchair positioned unconventionally across from it.
"Living room," Gel explained with hardly an ounce of enthusiasm. "Over there is the kitchen. That's the bathroom across from it, and your room is on the second floor, third door to the right of the stairwell.
"Awesome," Wayne announced with gratitude. "I can't believe you're doing all of this for me. Thanks."
"Don't think this is all charity, boy!" Gel said, "As long as you're staying under my roof and eating my food, you better expect to be working as me assistant 'round here."
"Assistant?" Wayne asked, intrigued as much as he was dismayed.
Gel was making his way to an empty corner of the living room now, and he opened a stone trapdoor in the floor that Wayne hadn't previously noticed; not because the trapdoor was a secret, rather, because of his lack of perception.
"What do you know about alchemy, boy?" Gel asked.
Wayne wasn't sure if he was joking or not, because it wasn't that funny. "Alchemy? Like, potions and transmutation and such?"
"That and much more," Gel confirmed. "I make my living selling potions, tonics, oils, creams, balms, tinctures, and the like to nearby towns, as well as the occasional globe-trotter in search of a miracle. Though business hasn't been too great these last few years, what with how old I'm getting and how laborious collecting ingredients can be."
He paused and studied Wayne for a moment, who was doing his best to pay attention in his sleep-deprived state. Then he motioned to the ladder leading down the trapdoor. "This is where I work. As my assistant, you will procure various items and supplies as I require it, keep my equipment tidy, and perform other such tasks. In return, I will provide lodgings, food, and help you find a way back to your home world. Deal?"
"Wait, you're gonna help me get home?" Wayne asked, a mix of surprise and hope in his voice.
"Well I don't see why not," Gel replied. "We got a deal or no?"
"Of course, deal."
"Well, get off to bed then. A tired assistant is a bad assistant, and the night's already three-quarters gone!"
Wayne wasn't about to argue. The only thing keeping him awake at the moment was the rush of recent events. He went upstairs and opened the door to his temporary room, seeing that it was empty aside from a bed on either side of it and a nightstand in the middle between them, not even standing close enough to either bed to be used effectively.
"Someone really needs to show this guy how to decorate." Wayne thought aloud.
He set his knapsack next to the nightstand and lay down on one of the small beds, once again alone with his thoughts. He looked to the bed across from him and wondered why a single person would need a house with so many rooms and places to sleep. He also remembered the note on the front door and how secretive the axolotl seemed about it. One thought led to another and Wayne was suddenly reconsidering his choice of staying here.
He didn't know Gel, not really. He only stayed with him because he seemed decent and had nowhere else to go.
Wayne idly tapped his fingers on the wooden bed frame, like he so often did when he was nervous, each of them drumming in a sequential one-two-three-four pattern. If he knew what were on that note then that might clear something up.
He decided to ask Gel about it tomorrow. For now, though, Wayne was tired, and he drifted off into a much-needed slumber.
~X~
"WAKE UP, BOY! THE DAY'S A WAISTIN'." came the stern voice of Gel Tobado.
Wayne was sprawled over his bed, his legs hanging over the edge as it wasn't made for someone of his size.
For a fleeting moment, he thought he was back home in Florida, and that all of last night had been nothing more than a vivid dream. He realized his error quickly, though, when he once again heard the booming shouts of his amphibian host.
"GET DOWN HERE AND EAT YER BREAKFAST, BOY. YE ALREADY SLEPT HALF O' THE SUN AWAY!" the axolotl continued to shout.
Wayne slowly crept out of bed and down the stairs to the kitchen, where Gel was waiting at a circular table with two plates of. . . something.
Wayne stood there looking at the dish for a few seconds. "What is that?" he finally asked, though he saw clearly what it was.
Gel raised an eyebrow at him. "What does it look like? Pill bug pancakes," he said proudly. "I don't usually go through the trouble of cooking, but it's your first day here so I figured I'd put in some elbow grease and whip something up!"
Wayne just stared at the mass of bug-ridden pancakes for a bit longer and, looking up at Gel with a forced smile, said, "You know what? I think I'll just eat some of the candy in my bag for breakfast."
Gel looked at him with a disgruntled expression. "You break an old man's heart." he grumbled disappointedly.
"No no no. I'm sure it's delicious. . . to you." Wayne tried to clarify "But I'm a human. I don't eat. . bugs."
Gel started cutting into his pancakes with contempt. "Well what do ye eat, then?" he asked.
"Basically what you have there, but with no bugs. Or just some greens; maybe something grainy." Wayne glanced away, disturbed, as Gel stuffed his mouth with the repulsive pancake. He was holding back the urge to hurl.
"There's some fruit in the cupboard over there," Gel said gloomily as he finished his plate. "Try not to offend the tree that grew them."
Wayne turned to him apologetically, but Gel just waved him away. "Bah! Don't worry about it. I know you didn't mean squat. I'm just being a sensitive prune, is all. Get some breakfast and meet me outside for some gathering instruction." and he slid Wayne's pancakes closer to himself.
Wayne took an apple from the cupboard and bit into it. It had a much sweeter taste than he was expecting, and he savored the crisp flavor for a while. "Man, apples in this world are great." he said in-between bites.
"There's a farming community just north-east of here," Gel explained, now starting on Wayne's plate of pancakes. "It's where I get most of my supplies from."
Wayne nodded, and then he noticed the note from last night tucked loosely in Gel's apron pouch. "So what was that note about?" he asked, failing to sound casual with the question.
Gel stopped eating and sat in contemplation for a moment before responding. "I suppose it'll be your problem soon enough anyways." he said in conclusion to his thoughts. He pulled the note out of his apron pouch and handed it to Wayne, who wasn't expecting his inquiry to be so effective. Wayne unfurled the note as Gel finished off his second plate of pancakes.
It read in poor, big handwriting:
"Mr. Tobado,
I'm writing to inform you that you've failed to pay this year's tax in time, but in respect for your services to the King, the representatives of Toad Tower are granting you three more days to pay off your debts.
We'll be arriving in time to collect your due, and I hope you can deliver.
-Bog
PS: I'm gonna want my knife back. It's a really cool knife."
He looked back up at Gel, who had his arms crossed with a grim expression plastered on his face. "So this isn't a problem, right?" Wayne asked hopefully.
"I'm dead broke ye oaf!" Gel said too harshly, almost defensively, "Why do ye think there's hardly any furniture in here? I haven't a copper to me name, and this year's tax is a whopper."
"Well we have two days, right? Maybe we can make it up somehow. . ?"
"One or two days, actually. I'd been gone longer than a day so I don't know if the note was left yesterday or the day before."
Wayne tried to think of something that might help his friend, and he conjured up a seemingly obvious solution. "What about the gem?" he asked, putting a hand in his coat pocket.
Gel studied him, not immediately picking up on his meaning, but he quickly realized what he was suggesting. "Out of the question! That gem is the only thing that might offer some semblance of how to get you back home."
"Well what if we-"
"Enough! There's nothing you can do. I haven't sold a tonic in months, and I don't have enough furniture to pay off the debt. That means the only thing left to do is to sell the house."
"But- but there has to be something!"
Wayne wasn't about to let his friend get thrown out of his own house, not after everything he'd done for him. "If we can't pay them," Wayne began, looking at Gel with determination, "then- then maybe we'll have to fight them."
Gel shook his head. "Don't be a fool, boy. The toads of Toad Tower are too strong for resistance. We'll find a place in a nearby town to rent out, I'm sure of it."
"With what money?" Wayne rebutted.
Gel had had enough. "I appreciate your concern, but you are to do exactly as you're told when the toads come, boy, and that's the end of it!" He stood up from the low table and cleared his throat. "Now then, meet me outside in ten minutes. I'll show you the best places to forage for chimeshrooms." and at that the argument dissipated.
Wayne went up to his room, primarily to be alone, but also to think of something that might help his friend, even if he didn't want him to.
He doubted his abilities to fight off even one mere tax collector, let alone a troop of trained fighters. Then he remembered his friend's curious hobby.
He couldn't fight an army by himself, he thought, but maybe an alchemist could. . .
~X~
"You see, boy, chimeshrooms are often found in open areas where the wind can freely flow through them without being blocked by trees and rocks."
Wayne and Gel were hiking through a hilly terrain in search of chimeshrooms, a greenish-yellow mushroom that makes a whistling noise when wind passes through its chambered cap.
"So what kinds of potions do you use chimeshrooms in?" Wayne inquired.
"Absolutely none!" Gel replied joyfully, "They make a neat sound when you hang them from your roof, though."
Wayne stopped in his tracks, staring incredulously at Gel. "You mean we're just out here to look for house decorations?"
Gel raised an eyebrow. "Well then, where's this coming from?"
Wayne eased away his frustration a bit. "Shouldn't we be looking for something you can use to help protect our, err- your, home? What's the point of collecting house decorations if you don't have a house!"
"I thought I told you to drop that idiotic idea of yours." Gel warned.
"I'm just saying, maybe if we prepared for them, took them by surprise, then we could actually win against them!"
"You fool! That'd only bring an entire battalion of toads to our doorstep!"
Wayne flinched. He hadn't thought about that possibility, but he still had hope. "There must be something you can do, with all your knowledge of potions, that can help us fight them off."
"I'll not entertain this any longer!" Gel shouted.
Then they heard a serene, low whistling sound coming from beyond a high-standing hill. Gel held a hand up to silence Wayne, listening to the sound.
Wayne disobeyed the implied command, though. "So we found the chimeshrooms," he said grumpily, "Let's get them and go."
Gel grabbed his arm as he started towards the source of the whistle, though, and he turned Wayne back to look him straight in the eye. "Stay here, boy." he said, seriousness in his voice.
Wayne obeyed, confused by his friend's sudden graveness.
"Feel the air," Gel instructed. "Isn't something missing?"
Wayne held his hand out to the air, not quite sure what the axolotl was referring to. "Not really." he responded with a shrug.
"What was the one thing I told you about chimeshrooms, boy?"
"They whistle when the wind passes through them."
Then he realized it, and he dropped to the volume of Gel's hushed whisper. "There's no wind."
Gel nodded. "I should've told you before we set out."
"Told me what?" Wayne asked.
"There's a creature that can emit a whistle all too similar to that of a chimeshroom, and I fear that's what we're hearing now. It's a trickster predator called a wifflemaw."
"Predator?" Wayne nearly shouted, frustrated at his friend for withholding this vital information from him.
Gel ignored his anger. "They feast on amphibian flesh, luring unsuspecting meals to their end with their whistle. Now just back away slowly. It's possible that it hasn't noticed us."
Gel was quite wrong though, which was soon made apparent when a large, reptilian creature standing on two legs with frills on its neck jumped into the clearing, its primal eyes focused on the both of them.
"Run!" Gel shouted.
The beast immediately bounded after the two, sensing an easy meal and letting out a shrill, discordant whistle as it gave chase.
Wayne was already bolting back the way they'd come, careful to watch his step for fear of a reenactment of last night, with the minor difference of the monster's success in catching up with its prey.
Gel stopped for a moment and fumbled for a bottle of deep-orange liquid, much like the one he held up for Wayne to see in the cart, and threw the concoction at the creature. But the wifflemaw, fast as the wind itself, easily dodged out of the way, leaving the orange liquid to fizzle out on the ground.
"Drat!" he exclaimed, running to catch up with Wayne, who's legs were much longer and carried him much farther than the old axolotl's.
Wayne looked back and noticed his friend lagging behind, so he doubled back and ran toward the beast, yelling in an effort to distract it from its target. It fell for the simple tactic and was now entirely focused on Wayne, giving Gel precious time that he wasn't about to waste.
The axolotl searched the area for anything of use. He saw a small patch of purple, triangular, clover-like herbs at the base of a nearby tree, just a few strides away. He pulled a vial of a red, bubbling liquid from one of his many pouches and made a beeline for the herbs. After snatching a clump of the clovers, he crushed them in his hand and added them to the red liquid.
Gel ran to Wayne's aid, shaking the vial with all his might to turn the concoction a pleasant magenta.
The wifflemaw dove at Wayne and nearly bit off his head, but he ducked out of the way just in time and slid under the beast.
"Watch out, boy!" Gel shouted as he flung the small vial at the creature, which was still off balance from its previous attack. The vial hit the beast's shoulder and an ear-shattering, magenta explosion erupted from where the vial hit the creature.
The wifflemaw's arm was blown clean off, and it hissed in surprise, shaking its head dazedly as it dashed away into the woods surrounding the clearing. The arm collided with Wayne as it flew through the air, though, and it knocked him off his feet.
He pushed the still-writhing arm off of his chest in disgust, and then sat up to look at Gel with astonishment. "What was that?" he asked with astonishment.
"A wifflemaw," Gel replied simply. "We should hurry off now, before some other monster comes to kill us."
"No, I mean the thing with the vial, and- and the explosion-"
"Alchemy has quite a few different uses," Gel said at length.
Wayne was still amazed that the axolotl had produced something so destructive with such little effort. Gel could so easily take out a horrific monster five times bigger than himself, and yet he wouldn't stand up to a few tax collectors.
Wayne thought it was absurd. He knew he wouldn't convince him to fight, though, so for now he just enjoyed the fact that they were both alive as they set off for home.
I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out! I just hope you aren't getting bored with the story yet. I wanted to give Wayne some roots in Amphibia before throwing him at the trio, so just bear with me!