The rest of Day 2-No ones POV.
The 5 nightmares rushed pass the crowds in the village in order to reach the forge, it was almost noon and almost time for the chief to stop the Investigation.
They were almost there.
They could see the chief in the distance.
Some of the villagers asked them what was going on.
But they just kept going and told them "Sorry no time, gotta run"
Once they made it to the forge they saw the chief outside getting ready to leave.
"Oh, teens, have you found anything interesting in my sons room, I assume it was for a good reason that you came running from my house all the way over here." Exclaimed the Chief.
"Sir, in the five places you told us to look at we found one thing in 3 of them that u am sure you would find very interesting" explained Fishlegs.
"Oh, very well then you may come in and show me these things."
"Chief those are not all the reasons we are here, something amazing happened" shouted Snotlout. He didn't notice that as he said this a whole crowed start d to from around them. Almost the entire village.
" Oh really well what is this amazing news you speak of"
"Well, chief as we were about to leave Hiccups room, we heard something coming from his bed like someone was breathing heavily, then when we came rushing towards him we found out that his breathing is getting a lot better...He's breathing normally now" Said Astrid out of breathe.
Everyone around smiled and some cheered with happiness.
" This is grate news, my son will wake up in no time" Said the chief.
At these words everyone yelled with Joy.
"Yeah..." " Whoo-hoo" "Thank Thor..." Was heard all around.
" Well now that you've told me this, it's time to see the evidence you've got, there was nothing in Hiccups room at the forge, just his crazy ideas for inventions and blueprints" said the chief and He brought them in the forge.
They entered the forge. It was boiling hot In there.
Theh sat down at the table in the far corner.
"So tell me what have you found" started the Chief.
"Well okay, we're gonna start with the first that found something Tuffnut" said Fishlegs
"My Job was to check every drawer in Hiccups room, there wasn't anything on the obvious big ones, just clothes and some had...ummm...Hiccups Underwear ...hehehehe...and yeah in the smallest one in the bottom of all of them, I found 10 dagger organized by smallest to largest, the largest one was wrapped in a purple cloth and on top of it was a note...here it is" as he finished he handed the chief the note.
The chief had started reading....'My best and only friend, my 'cutting' dagger'
When the chief finished reading he went pale.
"Oh my Gods, my son has been CUTTING, it can't be..." He said with sadness in his eyes.
" Sir we check his wrist, there were scars everywhere, some looked newer while others looked a lot older, His skin looked like it had been cut and scraped by a thousand daggers" finished Astrid.
"I never knew...this is horrible, self harm is one of the signs of sever depression"
"Yes sir, that's what Hiccup did and by his scars, he's been doing it for more than 3 years..." Said Fishlegs.
" Let's continue what was next" said the chief.
" Next was me, I and the job of under the loose floor boards, under one of them was a stack of papers each with different writing on it, when we started reading the 1st ones, we understood what they were. They were suicide poems Hiccup wrote" said Fishlegs.
Stoick looked at the teen wide-eyed, Hiccup put one of his 'poems' in the suicide note he left him.
" Oh dear gods, Hiccup pit one of them in the note he left me, when he was gonna do it...can I read them" said the chief.
They handed him the papers.
As Stoick began reading poem after poem he started to feel tears in his eyes.
"Hiccup is a very talented writer...he's very good...if only he didn't write depressing poems..." Said Snotlout.
"My gods, these are extremely detailed...I don't know what to say" said the chief.
"What the next thing children" he said as he put the papers down.
"The next thing is the best, it's what Astrid found" said Fishlegs.
Stoick seemed pleased by this news.
"Well sir, I had the job of searching the entire closet, what I found in there is most pleasing, I found a small red box I'm there and inside it was Hiccups JOURNAL! The one he writes everything in" shouted Astrid.
"Well the lad has had that for some time now, I gave him the journal 2 years ago" said Gobber that was still working but in the same time hearing everything around him.
"Oh really, so the journal will begin 2 years in the past, let's start reading it from the very beginning" Explamed the Chief.
They all nodded and began to pull the cover to page 1.
-Hiccups Journal-
I cannot believe Gobber got me a journal. Seriously what the hell am I 'a girl'.
I guess it's not that bad, it's finally nice to have something to write down my miserable life in.
Today was like any average day, I wake up head down to breakfast and say 'Good morning' to my father like the pathetic wimp I am, and obviously I don't receive and answer back, I just get the Stoick The Vast famous disappointed scowled, and with a heavy sigh I get ready to start another bad day.
I go outside and as I'm jogging to the forge I see many Viking pointing at me then laughing and some with the famous 'Your dumb,stupid and useless' look on there faces.
I was already use to this kind of stuff so I just decided to keep going, but as always before I could reach the forge, I get pushed to the ground and kicked in the back and when I raise my head to find out who it is I see my 'not so smart cousin Snotlout'.
Let me introduce my cousin SNOTLOUT JORGENSON the person that has always made me feel small and like I'm nothing. The person that has been beating me and calling me names since I was 7 years old. He might be my cousin but we are VERY different, we have nothing in common he's muscular and I'm weak, he's tall, I'm small, he's popular, and I'm universally despised by my entire village. Some times I think that my Dad will get tired of me and just let him be the Heir to berk instead, he will make a much better heir than me.
When I look behind my dumbass cousin I see The twins Tuffnut and Ruffnut. Astrid Hofferson. And Fishlegs Imgerman. In my life they are known as the 5 NIGHTMARES ,
They are the teens that like Snotlout made my life impossible and the teens that have always made me feel like a total pice of crap.
Sometimes I wish I could just stand up to them and give them a tasted of there own medicine. But I can't do that. If I do that then there gonna give me the beating of my entire life, I've gotten bad beating before but the one there gonna give me if I stand up to them will just end me up in Gothis healing hut in the edge of the village.
So all I do is simply resist there hard kick and punches, but so,write I admit it gets to hard so I start crying a little but never loud enough to or obvious enough so no one can notice.
Sometimes I wish I could end it all, take my own life, sometimes I wish I could just stop all the pain and ended forever once and for all. But I'm to much or a coward to that, even thought I wish with all my might that I could just die in an accident or someone could murder me. That way no one will know about my pain and I won't have to do it myself.
I do self harm. I cut. There are hundreds of scars all over my body, some big and some small, my favorite scars are the one in my wrist, I don't care what people think if they ever found out, I love them. Those scars make me feel alive, they make me feel like I exist. I need to do it again, I feel an uncontrollable urge to keep the cutting going. I NEED to do it again. Brb
I did it. It felt so good. The icy blade puncturing my skin and Blood coming out of the wound. The scars on my wrist have a different story each.
For example let me tell you the story of my very 1st cut.
I was just 9 years old. I was still a child, I was not even a teenager.
I was working late in the forge.
Suddenly I heard voices from the outside, I heard at least 5 of them.
Before I knew it my cousin Snotlout burst through the the door and shouted " Snotlout, Snoutlout,Oy,Oy,Oy"
I was a little tired since it was late and didn't have the strength to defend my self.
Behind my cousin there were the 4 other nightmares.
"Can I help you" I said stupidly.
I guess I sounded a little annoyed because when I finished saying it, my cousin pushed me to the ground.
"Wow, Useless are you getting sassy with me, no one talks to me like that especially a useless runt, no more of this attitude, UNDERSTAND!"
I just nodded my head rapidly. I guess I was a little scared.
"Good, now the reason we came here is because my princess Astrid needs her axe back from sharpening"
Yeah apparently my cousin has a crush on my crush. Well whatever it's not like I'm ever gonna get her anyway.
"Sure would you like the anthropological synesthesia of axe wheeling or the pestilential dioxoclaboc Nouakchott acid" I said sarcastically.
When I finished my sentence Snotlout kicked me in the ribs. Hard.
Geez. That hurt so bad. I can still feel the pain.
"DO NOT MESS WITH MY MIND USELESS"
When he told me this like a complete fool I answered back. It was the dumbest thing I've ever done, like a total useless runt that I am I said
"What mind"
Gods that was the biggest mistake of my LIFE, because right after that my cousin picked me up and threw me across the room.
That hurt A LOT. I landed on the wall of weapons where Astrid's axe was.
As I landed it the hard wall a small dagger pierced my back.
It wasn't that big of damage but it fucking hurt. It hurt a lot.
What I didn't realize is that Astrid's axe also fell but the handle was ripped of and the axe that was perfectly sharpened had broken into 2.
I got back up still not realizing about Astrid's axe, I was more concentrated in the dagger in my back.
But then I raised my head and saw Astrid staring at her axe wide eyed. When I noticed where she was looking at I got nervous.
"OH MY GODS, MY AXE, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY AXE, YOU STUPID RUNT!"
As she said this she punched me .
"I'm sorry" I said still in the floor in pain from the dagger.
No one looked like they noticed the cut in my back.
"I was just-" I was cut off by Astrid kicking me.
"BEING USELESS LIKE THE STUPID DUMB RUNT THAT YOU ARE!"
She started kicking me more violent and more rapidly. Like I was a ball.
"You broke my princess's axe and for that you shall pay" said my dumbass cousin.
Then he started to punch my aching body and after that the twins started laughing and started to slap my face. Hard.
My cheeks were burning red from the slapping.
It hurt so fucking bad. Everything hurt. My entire body was completely numb.
Finally they stopped after Fishlegs told them to stop or they'll end up killing me and that I'm the Chiefs son blah,blah blah...I felt so relived. That someone had a little heart.
After that they left laughing and high diving each other and Before they left Astrid squatted down next to me and whisperd into my ear
"You owe me a new axe, dumbass" and before she left she picked up my face and punched it.
I couldn't feel my body it was completely numb and I'm not even mentioning the dagger still in my back.
I didn't want to get up I just wanted to stay there and die, but eventually I regained a little strength a got up.
I removed the dagger in my back and cleaned the wound, after I just put bandages on it.
I decided to not go to Gothis hut, she would ask what happened then when I tell her, she will tell the chief, and then my dad will ground me and tell me that I need to be a better man and blah blah blah blah...whatever he'll never have sympathy for me anyway.
I got back up and went home. My father obviously asleep.
I went to my room and locked the door.
And I just started sobbing for some reason, I don't know why but I just couldn't take it, it was there when I began to hate myself for being the stupid screw up that I am, I will never be loved and what happened tonight was proof.
Did they even fucking notice that it was Snotlouts fault, I didn't do anything, it was his fault not mine HIS!.
That when an idea popped into my head. Cutting. I heard depressed people do it all the time and I heard it makes them feel alive, I heard it makes them feel free and I heard it makes them feel like actual human beings.
I grabbed the dagger in my belt...
I stared at it blankly wondering 'maybe this is all I need , maybe this will make me feel alive'
That's when I happened, before I knew it I slide the tip of the blade against my skin and blood began to pour out.
I stared at the red liquid, it was very interesting, I loved the dark color it looked amazing, I admired the image, it hurt a little at first but then the pain went away and so did all the physical pain and emotional pain that happened tonight.
I thought to myself 'This feels so fucking amazing, I love it, it's like all my troubles got washed away temporarily of course'
And thus my friend that's the story of my first cut, I made that 4 years ago and I still have the mark on my arm.
now I'm 13 and I have hundreds of them.
I feel different though.
I feel like ever since that day something inside me changed.
I feel now like I'm the least important person in the world. And it's very much true.
But that change was more than that. And like you guessed it.
I OFFICIALLY HAVE DEPRESSION.
Its not like it matters anyways.
Im such a bastard.
Anyway that's pretty much it. DUCES.
-End of Hiccups first page-
They all stared at the words on that page bleakly.
" OH MY GODS. I HAD NO IDEA THAT AFFECTED HIM SO MUCH IM SOOOO SORRY I WISH I WAS IN THAT BED NOT HIM, HE DIDNT DESERVE THIS" screamed Astrid capturing everyone's attention.
"We all have ourselves to blame we will not continue reading his journal. This explains everything. All we can do now is wait until my son recovers." Said the chief in a raspy voice.
Theu all nodded. Fishlegs fainted after about half way into reading it, the twins and Snotlout started sobbing and crying as they were reading about what they did to him.
I guess the haven't payed much attention to the time beacause it was almost sun down.
They all went home sad and feeling extremely guilty with there heads hanging in shame.
000
So that's pretty much it and btw The story I wrote here about him being beaten by the 5 nightmares is actually true, happened to me once but you know not with the characters there and I wasn't beaten by braking an axe it was for braking a computer. So yeah. BUT I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I don't have depression.
I just like to add spice to these stories.
R and R