-Hiccups POV-
Somethings weird, I don't feel numb anymore, I'm starting to actually feel my body, I even tried opening my eyes. I did.
Im not in that coma anymore, but it's night, so I'll just go and wake up in the morning when my Dad isn't here.
Finally after those long Day or possibly weeks of being in that coma I can sleep in peace.
-Next morning-
I woke up.
I remembered what was the plan. Just get up tell everyone everything's fine and that I don't remember anything and just continue like the average day.
Im wearing the same clothes that I was wearing when I attempted, I don't know how long that's been. Maybe a few days.
Should I just walk around the village, when people ask me when did I wake up and why am I moving I'll just say 'what are you talking about', or the next time someone comes in I'll just wake up.
I think I'll go with my second option, it could be a while before my father returns from doing his Chiefly duties, but I can wait.
This coma has really been a life changing experience, maybe I could write another suicide poem while I'm just here waiting.
-2 Hours later-
It took a while but I think I got all of it. Here it goes...
-Dead end-
Listen to my screams, Follow the Pain
I'm getting lost, in this ocean of shame
I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go
Listen to my Voice, it's screaming 'Hello'
You're the one that doing it, tearing me apart
You're the one responsible, for the pain in my Heart
Maybe it's time for my life to reach an End.
I never really had One single Friend.
I'm hanging, I'm hanging from the ceiling
Live your life without me, and keep on dreaming
Sleep today, quietly in your Bed
For tomorrow you will find me Dead
Your heart will cry, it will surely bleed
Don't get on your knees, do not plead
I'm Dead theres no going back now
I will not come back, this I Vow
Don't cry, Don't plead, Don't Dread
For there is no coming back, I Am Truly Dead
-End-
Wow that one is unusually long, I usually do short poems. I think I know why...
When I write Poems it always comes from an experience, it usually comes from the Heart and it's mostly about all the feeling that I have bottled up inside. I guess I did have all that inside me.
Maybe I should just tell the truth, I do remember that I attempted suicide, and I know that weather I like it or not I'm going to have to explain and talk about what I did, There going to ask me why I did it. I don't know how to answer that question, but when the time comes I'll just say the truth.
It's going to be hard. What I did isn't gonna be forgotten really easily, it will be remembered, and I'll just have to live with that pain.
I don't know if my past will come back to haunt me in the future, but I have to face it. I'm the one that tried to take the cowardly way out, and now I know that I was wrong.
There's still something in my mind that I still don't understand.
Who was the person or who were the people that rescued me,who was the person that saved my life?
It didn't make any sense I made sure I wasn't followed.
I guess I'll find out when I wake up.
UUHGGG!...
I can't abandon my depression just like that. I feel an urge to cut, I feel the need to slit my wrist. Every single day of my life I've always been compared to everyone else.
Everyday since I was 11, I've compared my life with everyone else's. I looked at Berk. I looked at every perfect being that lived there. No one is going thought the pain that I am feeling. I wish I was perfect, just for a day. Abandon all this eternal pain and live a life full of happiness.
Sometimes I wish I was never even born.
I'm not a fighter. I'm not useful. I'm not needed. I'm not Perfect.
With those words I fell onto deep sleep.
-4 hours later-
I woke up. Still with my eyes closed, I started moving a little and moaning. I reached my hand and placed it on top of my forehead.
"Son...Hiccup...Wake up my boy"
My heart skipped a beat, I opened my eyes slowly. I sit up. My Father and Gobber were standing on each side of the bed, well more like kneeling down in each side of my Bed.
"Son are you Alright, does anything hurt" my father said.
"No...no I don't think so..." I said in a raspy voice.
My Father and Gobber looked ay each other with concern in there eyes.
"Hiccup... Do you remember anything at all about what happened..." Said my father.
At first I didn't know what was he talking about, but then I remembered. I had tried to kill myself. Oh my Thor, this is it.
Should I tell the truth or should I lie, Uhhh, witch one is the right one. Uhhhhh. Uhhhh.
"Yes...I remember" I said. Honesty is the best Policy. I hope.
My Father looked at me with worry in his eyes. I lowered my head trying not to look at anything but my lap.
"How do you feel about it Hiccup..." my father said
I thought for a second, what do they expect me to say.
"Fine..." I lie "I feel Fine" still looking down.
I don't think my father belived my lie beacause after he said...
"Hiccup... Son, it's ok. You can express yourself freely there's no need to hide"
I have to admit I was a little puzzled by his answer, he usually isn't that nice or sensitive at least not around anyone.
I didn't talk, I wanted to speak but no words were coming out of my mouth. I just stayed silent.
Gobber was the first to brake the silence.
"Ay, lad you gave us quite the scare" he said slightly smiling.
I was a little confused by his answer. Who's 'us'. Unless he was talking about himself and my dad. Maybe Gobber is the one that saved my life. I still have to find out.
"Who's 'us'?" I say in a raspy voice still not raising my head.
"Why, the village of course, everyone's been an emotional wreck since you, ummm, uhh...well you know" Gobber kind of trailed off in that sentence.
Wait, WHAT?!... The village is actually missing me? No, that couldn't be. Everyone hates me.
I shot my head up after Gobber finished talking. This got the attention of both Gobber and my father.
"Son... A-are you ok" my father said In a worried voice. I guess I shouldn't have shot my head up like that.
"Uhh, yea, yea I'm ok... I'm just a little surprised" I said.
I was still a little shocked from the fact that the village actually cared. I have to figure out who was that saved me...Please, please please...let it be Gobber.
"Surprised at what my boy?" My father asked. Now that I'm actually looking at him, I can see the pain in his eyes, he's shaken a little.
"Not important, umm uh, can I, uhh, ask you a question?" I said...
"Yes son, you can ask me anything" he said.
I can't believe I'm about to ask him this... But I have to find out who were the people that saved me.
"Why am I still alive?" I said without hesitation.
000
I know right!
sorry for not updating, since school was starting I've been pretty busy.
Yesturday was my birthday. I'm getting a Samsung Note 7 with the virtual reality head gear. Pretty cool right
I love you all❤️❤️