Thank you all for the feedback on the last chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this one as well. Buckle up, we've got a bit of a wild one.
Just a warning, part of this chapter is Rated M. Have fun.
F I V E
Gabby sat hunched over on the bench in the locker room, forcing herself to take steady, slow breaths as she focused on the dead quiet of the room. She'd been sitting here for nearly an hour, and had yet to find the courage to get up and leave. She didn't want to go back out there, not after Bryan's outburst, and she found the quiet of the room comforting, she felt safe in here. Despite the openness of the locker room, no one had bothered her in here. She was completely alone, and that's what she needed right now.
After all but running from the common room, Shay had quickly followed after her, finding her pacing back and forth in front of the lockers, stray tears falling down her cheeks. Even though she appreciated Shay's desire to help, Gabby asked her for some space, knowing she needed the moment to just breathe. The blonde had quickly agreed, giving her friend a hug, reminding her she was here if needed, and then left.
Gabby had needed a second alone to forget about what just happened. Forget about the flash of fear she felt when Bryan stormed towards her. Forget about how, for the first time in awhile, she felt scared of him. She needed time to work through those feelings on her own.
She just didn't expect her few moments of quiet to turn into a full hour of hiding.
Gabby was so lost in thought she didn't hear the footsteps approaching her in the locker room, or the person saying her name. It wasn't until she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder that she snapped back into reality, Gabby jumping slightly as she looked up to find Casey standing there, a concerned look covering his face.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I called your name, but…" He trailed off, Gabby shaking her head, sliding back a bit to get out from under his touch.
"It's okay." She responded softly, avoiding his eye contact.
"Uh, Boden's looking for you. Said he wants to see you in his office." Matt told her, watching her shove her hands in her pockets as she nodded, pushing herself up from the bench. Wordlessly, she slid past him, heading for the exit. "Are you okay?"
His question stopped her, Gabby turning back around to face him, Matt catching a glimpse of her tired eyes. "Never been better." She replied sarcastically, Casey releasing a soft sigh.
"Dawson…"
"What do you want, Casey?" She asked exasperatedly, taking the few steps back towards him, her face hard with anger.
"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"Oh, so you're some nice guy now?" She bit back, huffing out an annoyed breath. "I don't need your pity. You and I aren't friends, we don't even know each other."
"It's not pity, I-"
"So what it is, then? Guilt? You feel guilty, for some reason, for sleeping with me? Cause you found out the only reason I was even at that bar was because I got dumped?" She questioned, her words sharp. "You know what, it doesn't even matter. I needed a distraction and you were there. That's the extent of our relationship. You don't need to pretend to care for my sake, trust me. I don't want it." Her voice was bitter as she spoke, Gabby sliding past him without another word to exit the locker room, leaving a confused and frustrated Casey there on his own.
Walking through the firehouse, Gabby kept her head down as she passed the common room, not wanting to see the pitiful stares from her coworkers. She didn't need it from Casey, and she definitely didn't want it from them. She just wanted to be left alone.
After what felt like an eternity, she found herself outside of Boden's office, knocking softly on the door.
"Come in." She heard through the glass, Gabby pushing open the door, stopping abruptly in the doorway as she saw Bryan sitting in there with Chief, Boden nodding towards the empty seat next to Walker. Silently, she shut the door behind her, coming to sit down, placing herself as far as possible away from him. "So, I heard about the incident that happened earlier today." He spoke firmly, clearly unimpressed by the situation.
"Chief, I'm sorry." Walker spoke first, Boden narrowing his gaze.
"I believe I made it very clear to both of you, that if you all couldn't handle your problems that there would be some discussions that needed to take place. If you all can't act like adults, we'll have to look into moving one of you to another house. I don't want to have this discussion again." His voice was rigid, Walker nodding throughout his speech.
"I understand, Chief. I was out of line earlier. I let my emotions get the best of me, when I should've just gone and talked to her about it. It won't happen again." He replied, earning a slight nod from Boden.
"Good. You all have to keep this stuff off shift, this can't become the normal around here. It's not fair to everyone else, and it's not fair to you all. If this starts affecting work, that's when it becomes dangerous, and I won't let it get that far."
"Understood." Walker complied, both men turning to look at Gabby.
"Dawson?"
"Understood." She replied softly, still unsure as to why she was getting this lecture.
"Alright, you two are dismissed. Remember, this happens again and some other discussions will be taking place." He warned them, Walker nodding as he got up to leave, heading for the door. But Gabby stayed rooted in her seat, fiddling with her fingers in her lap.
"Dawson? Is there something else?" He asked, Walker stopping in the doorway to see Gabby still seated, his eyes narrowing at her, unsure of what she was doing.
When Boden had yet to get a response from her, he nodded at Bryan, signaling him to go, the man glancing to Gabby again before agreeing, shutting the door behind him as he left the office.
"Something wrong, Dawson?"
"I just.. I don't understand why I'm threatened with the same punishment as him, when I didn't do anything." Boden released a heavy sigh, folding his arms over his desk. "I was just sitting there, and he stormed in, yelling at me, and somehow this is also my fault?" Her words were soft yet firm, and full of confusion.
"Dawson, what happened stemmed from the ending of your relationship. The point remains the same, if you two can't work together, then someone's gonna have to go. This can't become the place where you two hash out all your problems."
"So what you're saying is that if he does that again, he comes up and starts screaming at me, and slamming his hands down on the table, acting like a child, that I'll be in just as much danger of getting moved as he will be."
"Dawson, that's not what I'm saying…"
"It's understood, Chief." She spoke before he could finish. "I get it. Just making sure we're all on the same page." She responded quietly, standing up without another word, ignoring Boden's attempts to further explain himself as he called her name. She wasn't sure if it would get her in trouble, but she couldn't find it in her to care as she left his office, needing to find a place to be alone. She needed a place where no one could bother her. The only problem was that she wasn't sure that place even existed in this firehouse.
Matt maneuvered through the snow and ice covering the driveway of 51 as he made his way inside the firehouse, desperate to escape the harsh winter air. It was Christmas Eve, and the house was determined to make the best out of being here over the holiday, Shay and Herrmann having spent the last few shifts decorating the place to make it feel more festive. They'd gotten a tree and decorated it, displaying it proudly outside the common room, as well as put up wreaths and tinsel around the house, trying to make the circumstances a little better. Although as first responders, there were many holidays missed, having to work Christmas Eve into Christmas was a little sad for those of 51 with families, knowing they'd miss some of the Christmas morning festivities. As Matt had come to learn during his first shift, Herrmann was one of those men eager to leave right at shift change, the man having a lot of kids to get home to.
While some were a little bummed to be spending this day at the firehouse, Matt wasn't one of him. He embraced the distraction, knowing tomorrow would be a difficult day for him. This wasn't how he pictured Christmas to be for him. If someone had asked him several months ago how he'd be spending his Christmas, it would've been entirely different to now. He would've had an apartment fully decorated, a large tree taking up way too much space in his living room, overflowing with presents, and he would've been spending the day with his wife.
But none of those things were happening anymore. His apartment was bare, not a decoration in sight; there was no tree, no presents. There was nothing that even remotely resembled Christmas.
And there was definitely no wife. Not anymore.
Shaking his head, he pushed the thoughts away as he walked into the garage, not wanting to wallow in self-pity. He couldn't change anything about what happened, he just had to move on from it.
"Hey Casey." Severide spoke as Matt passed the squad table.
"Hey man." Matt responded, Kelly standing up, coming to match his stride.
It was Casey's fourth shift at 51, and in the past week and a half he'd learned a lot about his coworkers. He had learned all about Herrmann's family, even though he still couldn't keep all the names of the kids straight, he learned that Otis and Cruz share an apartment, that Mouch had just gotten married to a Sergeant from the 21st district down the street, and he learned that Gabby's brother, Antonio, was a detective at that same district. He'd learned all that and more about his new coworkers, Matt finding out new things about these people every day.
But the same couldn't be said for them getting to know him. He didn't share much, when it came to personal questions about his life or his family. Matt didn't want his past situations to tarnish what he'd found in this group at 51, so he tiptoed around any questions about his personal life, usually keeping his answers short and moving the subject in a different direction.
"That was fun the other night, you coming to our place." Severide's voice broke through his thoughts, Matt nodding in agreement. "We should do that again."
"Yeah, definitely. It sure was an interesting night." Matt chuckled, Severide laughing as well as images of a drunken Shay filled their minds. For as blunt as the paramedic was normally, Matt quickly found out that with a little alcohol in her system, she lost any filter she had.
The two got inside the firehouse, Kelly walking with him towards the locker room, Matt catching Gabby's gaze as the woman turned the corner into the hallway. "So, what are your Christmas plans?" Severide asked, Gabby dropping Matt's gaze as the two became passing ships, the paramedic walking past them without a word.
"Um, nothing. Just me. I have a pretty big construction job the day after, so I'll probably just get ready for that. What about you guys?" Matt asked
"Shay and I usually go to Herrmann's. Neither of us have family in the area, or family we want to spend the holidays with, so we usually go hang out with his family." Kelly explained as they got to the locker room, Severide nodding to Walker as he saw the man standing there at his locker. "You could come with us if you want, I know Herrmann and Cindy would love to have you."
"Maybe, I'll think about it." Casey responded, moving towards his locker.
"We talking about Christmas plans?" Walker asked with a grin, Kelly nodding in response.
"Yeah, I was just seeing what Casey was doing. What about you, what are you doing?" Severide asked carefully, knowing that up until a week ago, his Christmas plans would've involved Dawson.
"Well, Gabby and I did have plans to go away for the night, go spend some time together out of the city, but obviously that's not happening." Walker replied, closing his locker, Matt catching the smirk on his face. "But I met this girl, Jennifer..." Bryan blew out a whistle, shaking his head. "She's a different level of crazy, found that out last night." Matt's gaze flashed to Severide, seeing the man unimpressed with his friend, but he said nothing. "I figured I'd take her. I still have the room, might as well not waste the money."
"So you're taking her on a trip you had arranged for you and Gabby? Over Christmas? Isn't that a little serious for some girl you just met at a bar?" Kelly asked with a grimace, Matt biting his tongue.
"Yeah. I mean, it's not the ideal situation but I don't want to waste the money. And it's not like Jennifer will know the difference. She's just excited to get out of the city. Plus, I'm eager to see more of what she has to offer." He joked, Matt shaking his head as he went back to his routine.
Casey was all for someone doing whatever they wanted, Lord knows he has, but there was something about Walker that just rubbed him the wrong way. It was the way he flaunted around the fact that he was now single, when he'd broken the heart of someone they work with. It was that he seemed to not care about how Gabby was doing, and that all that mattered to him was making it known that he had moved on.
There was just something about the man that Matt didn't like, and the Lieutenant certainly didn't trust him.
"Well, uh, I'm glad you're having fun." Severide said uncomfortably.
"Oh, I definitely am. I've been having a lot of fun." Walker replied, shutting his locker before heading for the exit, clapping his palm against Matt's shoulder as he left. "I'll see you guys out there." He spoke as he turned the corner, but his progress was stopped abruptly, Matt turning to find Gabby standing there. "Oh, sorry." Bryan spoke, the two clearly having run into one another.
"It's fine, I was just getting my book." She responded quietly, clearing her throat as she stepped to the side, moving around him to get to her locker.
Both Casey and Severide watched the awkward exchange, Gabby refusing to look their way as she got into her locker. Kelly eventually looked away, but Matt couldn't. He silently hoped that Gabby hadn't heard what Walker had just been bragging about, that she didn't know he was taking some other woman on a trip meant for them. But the man hadn't exactly been quiet, if Gabby was close enough she would've heard. And the thought left an unsettling feeling in his gut.
He wasn't sure why it mattered, Gabby had made her feelings towards him perfectly clear over the last week. From her blowing up at him in the locker room, to practically avoiding him at every opportunity since, she definitely did not want to be around him.
But what was worrying him was the fact that she didn't seem to want to be around anyone. Since Walker's outburst last week, she'd pretty much kept to herself. From what Casey could tell, she was pulling away from every person in the house. She never really hung out with them during down time, and whenever Matt would see her, she was by herself in the bunk room, reading a book.
He felt bad for her, he truly did, even though he'd never voice it because that was a surefire way to get her to lash out at him again, but it was clear to everyone how isolated she'd become. Shay had made many attempts to try and talk to her, but was shut down every time, Matt hearing the details of what happened each time the blonde would come back and talk to Kelly. It was clear the paramedic was worried for her friend, and Matt couldn't blame her. Part of him wished there was something he could do to help, but he knew that was the last thing Gabby wanted.
And he also couldn't figure out why he cared so much.
Despite barely speaking to him over the last week, her feelings towards him were perfectly clear. She couldn't stand him. Whether it was because of that night at the bar, or him showing up to 51 right after, she hated him. Although Matt couldn't help but wonder if her hatred for him stemmed from her just needing someone to hate, and he was the easiest target. Or if she truly did not like him. He couldn't tell, and he'd probably never find out, but based on the way she avoided him whenever she could, and the glares he'd receive from her on occasion, he knew she wasn't a fan of his.
Casey was sure the house would've picked up on it by now had Gabby not been completely isolating herself. And maybe a few of them had, because despite Gabby choosing to keep to herself, whenever she did have to interact with them, there was much more contempt directed towards Casey. He honestly found it odd that no one had asked him about it, but maybe he was the only one able to notice.
All he knew was that Gabby was clearly struggling, but she didn't seem to want any help.
So he let it be.
He didn't try and reach out to her anymore, he didn't bother with trying to make sure she was okay. She didn't want help from him, or from anyone, so there was nothing he could do. It wasn't his problem, so he left it alone.
Gabby turned on her heels to move from the locker room, desperately needing to get out of the small space. She had been in there getting ready for shift when Bryan came in, the man not uttering a word as he went to his locker.
He had barely looked in her direction since that day, Gabby sure he had taken Boden's threats to heart. Bryan had pretty much ignored her since he lashed out at her in the common room, the two barely looking at one another whenever they were forced to be together. Gabby knew he didn't want to risk getting transferred, so he was leaving her alone. And for that, she was grateful. Even though the fear she felt when being around him had dissipated, she still didn't like being alone with him if she could help it. He wouldn't do anything to her here, he wasn't that stupid and she knew it, but she still found it best to avoid him whenever she could, Gabby quickly putting the rest of her things away and getting out of the room as fast as possible.
When she turned the corner into the hallway, she found Casey and Severide walking towards her, Gabby hearing them discussing their holiday plans. Although she found Casey's eyes almost immediately, she dropped his gaze, her face plastered to the ground as she passed them, vaguely hearing Casey mention how he had nothing planned for tomorrow before they were out of earshot.
With her eyes focused on the ground, she continued moving towards the common room, intent of getting a cup of coffee before going to the bunk room. It had become a routine for her as of late, spending much of her time at her bunk, more interested in the book in her hands than dealing with certain people in this firehouse, especially now with Christmas right around the corner. Tomorrow would be hard enough, she was dreading the day and she didn't need to sit around and listen to how everyone would be spending their holiday. That would only make her feel worse. This was the time of year for family and togetherness, but all she really wanted was to be alone.
After Bryan's episode last week, people had checked in and asked her if she was okay, to which she always gave the same answer; she was fine. But it didn't take long for his actions to be forgotten around the house. By the next shift, no one acted like he had done anything as Bryan came in with that wide smile, being overly nice to everyone he interacted with. Everyone but her.
She knew he was trying to get them to forget about how he'd acted, and to his credit, it worked. Because by the end of that shift, no one seemed to care about him confronting her in the common room. Aside from Shay, everyone had either forgiven him for his actions, or simply forgotten all together, and all was back to normal.
Except Gabby's new normal included staying as far away from him as she could. She didn't want to be around him, especially with Boden's threat of a transfer looming over them. So she kept to herself. She would appear when necessary, but never stay for very long. Not wanting to be around him meant having to distance herself from everyone else, but she wasn't even sure if anyone in the house noticed. In fact, with the exception of Shay, she was sure they didn't.
But she didn't care so much at the moment. All she wanted was to be able to do her job, and to be left alone. And spending most of her time in the bunk room gave her that.
Gabby barely got a few steps into the common room when she realized she'd forgotten her book, the paramedic cursing under her breath as began walking towards the conference room, taking the shortcut back to the locker room. Part of her hoped that the room would be empty, but seeing as how she'd only been out of there for all of a minute, that was very unlikely.
As she got closer, she heard Walker and Severide speaking, their voices easy to hear in the otherwise quiet house.
"Well, Gabby and I did have plans to go away for the night, go spend some time together out of the city, but obviously that's not happening."
Gabby slowed her steps as she heard Bryan talk about her to Severide, and most likely Casey as well, her arms folding over her chest as she listened to him go on about some girl he'd hooked up with last night.
"So you're taking her on a trip you had arranged for you and Gabby? Over Christmas? Isn't that a little serious for some girl you just met at a bar?"
Gabby heard the uneasiness in Severide's tone, but wasn't able to dwell on it as she listened to Walker rattle off his excuses and reasons for his actions. She bit down on her bottom lip roughly, picking her steps back up as she turned to go into the locker room, not wanting to listen to this any longer. And at least if they knew she was in there, they'd most likely stop until she was gone.
But she hadn't gotten very far when her body collided with Bryan's, the man knocking her back a few steps as they both turned the corner at the same time. After quick apologies, she slid past him, feeling Severide's and Casey's eyes on her as she retrieved her book, Gabby refusing to look their way as she closed her locker and left without another word.
"Hey girl." Gabby looked up from her book to see Shay standing at the foot of her bed, the blonde wearing a small smile.
"Hi." She responded, closing her book and placing it on the table, Shay taking that as an invitation to sit down.
"I just wanted to check in, see how you're doing." Shay spoke, Gabby nodding slowly.
"I'm alright."
"Good." She responded with a slight smile. "So, uh, Kelly and I are doing the same old dinner at Herrmann's tomorrow night, that should be interesting. It always is." Shay spoke with a laugh. "What about you? You and Antonio doing anything fun?"
"No, Antonio's on an undercover thing right now, has been for a few days. I don't think he'll be back by tomorrow. I think I'm gonna spend the day with my parents, though."
"That's gotta be hard on him, not being able to see the kids on Christmas." Shay spoke, earning an agreeing nod from her friend. "But getting to spend the day with your parents, that'll be fun." Shay replied, patting Gabby's leg.
"Yeah, nothing like breaking the news that your fiancé dumped you to get everyone in the holiday spirit." She muttered, Shay's eyebrows furrowing.
"They don't know?"
"No, uh… I haven't told them yet. I meant to, but I just kept putting it off and well, they'll know soon I guess."
"I'm sorry, honey." Shay murmured, earning a shrug from Gabby.
"It's alright, just another thing I wasn't really planning on. But it'll be fine, I haven't spent a lot of time with my parents lately, it'll be good."
"I'm glad, I know they'll be excited to see you. I'm just happy you'll be with your family. You'll have to tell them hi for me." Shay replied with a grin, thankful to see a matching one fall onto Gabby's face.
"I will. And you'll have to tell me if you actually manage to get through dinner without some food being ruined, or something getting broken." Gabby responded with a chuckle.
"Ah yes, the Herrmanns definitely know how to throw a party." Shay joked, glad to see her friend smiling.
It had been a hard week, and Gabby had spent most of that time completely shut off from everyone. But Shay was hopeful they were turning a corner, that maybe Gabby was slowly starting to find her old self again. And even if she wasn't, Shay was determined to enjoy this moment with her friend.
Gabby was perched up against the wall outside the locker room, her foot resting against the brick as she waited for someone in particular to come out. It was the end of shift, and most everyone had fled as soon as they could, wanting to get home to their families. But there was someone still in there, someone she needed to talk to, even though she knew it wouldn't end well.
Gabby knew she should just leave it alone, that nothing good would come from her having this information, but she needed to know. Even though the last thing she wanted to do was be around him, she needed answers. For her own sanity, she couldn't keep wondering about how long it had been going on. She felt like once she knew for sure, she'd be able to let it go. Or at least that's what she was hoping.
She hadn't been able to get it out of her mind since the day she'd been packing up her things. When she found that clothing under their bed, the clothing that wasn't hers. And hearing him talk yesterday about the women he'd been sleeping with, that dragged the question to the forefront of her mind once more. She knew she had to talk to him before it drove her crazy.
Although there was a part of her that always knew, finding that clothing had only cemented the fact that Walker hadn't been faithful to her during their relationship. It solidified what she already knew in the back of her mind, but now she just needed to know something else. And there was only one person who could give her the answers she was looking for.
Her gaze snapped into focus as she saw him come from the locker room, his bag resting over his shoulder, changed out from his shift clothes. She was pretty sure they were the last two from second shift there, considering nearly twenty minutes had passed since shift change, and by the abrupt halting of his steps, she knew he wasn't expecting to see her waiting for him.
"Can we talk for a second?"
"Gabby, whatever this is… we can't be getting into fights on shift, you heard Boden." He replied with a heavy sigh, Dawson shaking her head.
"I'm not gonna fight with you, I just have a question. It'll be quick, I promise." She spoke softly, Walker clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth before nodding, taking a few steps closer to her.
"Alright, what is it?"
"I just want to know how long." Her statement confused him, Bryan's head tilting to the side as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"What?"
"How long had you been cheating on me?"
Walker sucked in a deep breath, shaking his head as he angled his body towards the door. "I'm not doing this. I told your brother the same thing, I'm not-"
"Just tell me." She responded back firmly, stopping his movements. "It doesn't matter anymore, you don't have to keep pretending you weren't. But I need to know how long."
"Gabby…" He sighed, Gabby straightening her spine.
"How long?" She asked again, Bryan's eyes locking with hers.
"About a year." He responded quietly.
It felt like the wind had gotten knocked out of her, like she'd been punched in the gut repeatedly from his admission.
He had been cheating on her long before he proposed to her, nearly as long as they'd been living together, and that was something she couldn't stomach.
"So, before you even had any intention of marrying me, you'd been sleeping with other people." She murmured, afraid to speak any louder.
"Gabby…"
"How many times?" She questioned, anger flooding her veins as he stood there in front of her.
"I… I don't know." He replied lamely, Gabby biting on her bottom lip roughly as she shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around this. But she couldn't.
"I just… I don't understand, why did you do it? Why did you stay with me?" She questioned forcefully. "God, why did you ask me to marry you?!"
"I don't know."
Gabby took a step away from him, needing the space for a moment as her hands came up to cover her face, rubbing over her head as she forced herself to take deep breaths.
"I'm sorry, Gabby." He spoke quietly, his words causing her to turn back around towards him, her face filled with a mix of rage and devastation, Bryan seeing up close the damage he'd caused.
"Did you ever love me?" She questioned after a few painfully silent moments. "At all? Was any of this ever what you wanted?"
"I did love you, for awhile." He swallowed thickly once he answered, his response filling her with more pain and hurt than she'd ever admit.
"Why didn't you just break up with me, then? Why drag me along, why stay with me when all you wanted was to sleep around, why do any of this?"
His hand came up to rest on the back of his neck, Walker averting his eyes as he thought over his words. "I don't know, I guess I just didn't want to make things hard, for us or for the house. I thought this was easier."
"So your solution was to propose to me?" She was baffled by his words, unable to grasp his reasoning.
"I knew how much you wanted to get married, I just figured maybe if I did propose, it would help…"
"Help with what?" She questioned frustratedly, her teary eyes locked with his.
Bryan was hesitant to answer, nerves radiating off his body as he shifted his weight between his feet, wanting to look away from her but also unable to.
"I thought it would help me figure out how to love you again."
Gabby's eyes fell closed as his words washed over her, her bottom lip trembling slightly as realization set in. He didn't love her, and he hadn't for a long time. He wasted years of her life, without having the decency to tell her that he didn't want this, that he didn't want her. Instead, he did something that only made it worse.
He gave her hope. He gave her hope that despite their issues, they'd be okay. He put that ring on her finger, giving her a reason to believe they could work through anything. He made her believe he loved her. He gave her hope and then he crushed it. He crushed her, without a care in the world.
Unable to even look at him, she turned away and began walking down the hallway, white noise filling her head as tears welled in her eyes, Gabby's pace picking up as she pushed her way through the double doors, needing to get out of this place and away from him.
She had been wrong earlier, when thinking this Christmas couldn't get any worse.
Because it just had.
Gabby sat in her car, heat blasting through the air vents as she stared up at the porch. She wasn't sure what made her come here, or how she even ended up here, but she had been driving and suddenly found herself outside his place.
From the lights in the living room, she could tell he was home. She just didn't know if he was home alone. Despite what he'd said yesterday about not having any plans, that could've changed. She had no idea what she'd be walking into, and that doubt was making her want to drive away and pretend she never came here.
But she couldn't. Something was keeping her here, keeping her from driving back to Antonio's place, keeping her from pulling away from the curb. She needed something that only he could give her. She needed a distraction. She needed to forget.
Her Christmas Day had been draining, the talk with her parents more emotional than she expected. They wanted to know everything; what we went wrong between her and Bryan, what caused him to break up with her, if something had happened or if it had been a bunch of little things, they wanted to know what caused their daughter's relationship to come crashing to the ground. And the last thing she wanted to do was explain it.
But she did. She told them everything, well, mostly everything. They knew more so than she told Antonio. It was like once she started, she couldn't stop, her mouth moving faster than her brain, the tears in her eyes turning into heavy cries as she explained to her parents the disaster her life had become, and how her relationship with Bryan ended. The last thing she expected was to end up crying in her father's arms on Christmas, but it had happened. And now all she wanted to do was forget it.
She didn't want to think about her parents, she didn't want to think about Bryan, she didn't want to think about anything.
And he could give her that, at least for a few hours.
Mustering up the courage she needed, she turned off her car, climbing out of the vehicle, being met by the frosty December air as she began walking up the path towards his front door. The closer she got, the more nervous she became, the unknowns of showing up unannounced settling like a rock in her stomach. But she kept moving, knowing the pros of finding him home alone outweighed the safety of her bailing and going home.
Climbing the few steps, Gabby found herself face to face with his front door, a door she vaguely remembers being pinned up against, the thought sending a shiver through her spine. Taking a steady breath, she brought her hand up to knock on the door, quickly shoving her hands back in her pockets, taking a step back.
She could hear the sounds of footsteps approaching the door, Gabby biting the inside of her cheek firmly as she heard him fiddle with the locks, his face soon becoming visible when he opened the door.
Casey was shocked, to say the least, to find her standing outside his apartment. In fact she was the last person he expected to see here. But he knew she must've come here for a reason.
"Uh, hey Gabby." He greeted, clearing his throat.
"Hi." She whispered, doubt creeping into her system as she glanced past him into the dimly lit apartment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your evening. I probably shouldn't have even come here, I just…" She trailed off, unsure of what to say.
Seeing her uncertainty, Matt pushed aside his confusion, shaking his head as he stepped to the side, giving her room to enter if she chose. "You're not interrupting anything, I was just cleaning up from dinner. Do you wanna come in?"
He didn't know why she had come here, why she had sought him out, on Christmas of all days, but it felt wrong turning her away. And he was curious to find out why she had come to him, out of everyone she could've chosen to turn to, she picked him. She picked the man she seemingly hated with every fiber of her being, and he wanted to know why.
"You sure?" She asked hesitantly, Casey nodding as he stepped further to side, giving her plenty of room to come in.
"Yeah, I wasn't doing anything." He responded, seeing her eyes flicker from him towards the inside of his apartment, a few seconds passing before she finally agreed, stepping in through the doorway.
Closing the door behind her, Matt cleared his throat, watching as she looked around his apartment, taking in the surroundings she hadn't paid much attention to the first time. "Do you want anything?" He asked, gaining her attention. "A drink, or uh, I have some leftovers if you're hungry." He offered, but Gabby merely shook her head.
He watched as she clenched her hands together tightly, Matt finally able to get a better look at her, and he could tell she was upset. It wasn't much of a shift from how she'd been since he met her, but this was something different. Her eyes were red and slightly puffy, telling him she'd been crying recently, and by the looks of it, she'd been crying a lot. She still held that same tired look in her eyes, one that had been present since that night at the bar, but he could only imagine it didn't used to be there.
Matt waited for her to say something, give him any clue as to why she was here, but she stayed silent, her eyes moving to the ground. He knew he'd have to force it out of her, or they'd be standing here all night.
"What are you doing here, Gabby?" He asked softly, his words causing her head to lift up from the ground, her face wearing a look he couldn't read. He waited for her to say anything, her mouth opening the closing every few seconds, clearly trying to voice her thoughts but she was failing.
Without warning, Gabby closed the distance in between them, slamming her lips into his, balling his shirt in her fists as she pulled him towards her, Matt stunned by the action and by the force at which she held him to her, his brain needing a moment to understand what was happening before his body responded. He reciprocated her actions, feeling her deepen the kiss as she pressed herself into him.
Matt pulled back first, air becoming an issue as he panted, sucking in the air Gabby had taken from him, Matt finding her watching him a slight smirk resting on her lips, her chest heaving.
"We… we can't do this." He breathed out, feeling like his brain was only half-functioning since she'd kissed him.
"I know." She responded, his eyes flickering towards her swollen lips, Gabby sliding off her coat, letting it fall to the floor before pulling him back in for another kiss. She slid her hands under his t-shirt, her fingers roaming his torso as they fought against one another. With her hands under his shirt, she managed to lift it up over his body, throwing it down to the floor before grabbing ahold of his neck, pulling him back towards her.
Matt groaned into her mouth as her hands found the waistband of his pajama pants, the thin material doing nothing to hide the effect she had on him, her fingertips teasing the skin above the clothing.
"Gabby…" He breathed out, pulling back from her, their faces mere inches apart. "This is a really bad idea." Matt spoke between heavy breaths.
Gabby's hands moved from his torso towards her shirt, pulling the material off of herself and throwing it aimlessly as she had done to his, Matt's eyes flashing down towards her chest, the man swallowing thickly as her hands moved behind her back.
"Yeah, it is." She murmured, turning away from him just as she unclipped her bra, the material sliding down her arms as her back was to him, Gabby beginning the walk towards his bedroom, dropping the clothing as she went.
Still in the doorway, Matt watched her go until she disappeared around the corner, his heart thumping in his chest as he stood there. His mouth felt dry, unable to understand what had just happened. But he knew exactly what was about to happen. And while he knew this would only complicate things, and that this was a bad idea, he couldn't find it in himself to care as he followed her path to the bedroom, his steps slowing as he got to the doorway, unsure of exactly what would be waiting for him on the other side.
Matt wasn't disappointed when he turned the corner into his bedroom, his tongue running over his bottom lip seeing her waiting for him in the middle of his bed, left in nothing but her underwear as she rested on her elbows, a devilish grin on her face.
"Still think this is a bad idea?" She questioned softly, Matt slipping his thumbs under the waistband of his pants, sliding them down in one quick motion before stepping out of them and towards the bed.
"It definitely is a bad idea." He huffed, grabbing her by the hips and sliding her down the bed, Matt swallowing her yelp as he covered her mouth with his, their movements needy and desperate as he hovered over her. His palm covered her breast, groping her skin roughly as she moaned into his mouth, Matt feeling her hand come up to hold the back of his neck, keeping him in place against her.
Matt's hand began moving down her chest, teasing the skin over her stomach as he came to stop above her underwear, snapping the waistband of the material against her skin, her panting encouraging him to continue. Slowly, he slid his hand under the lace material, Gabby bucking her hips into his hand as he began working her, his kisses moving down her jaw and neck before latching his lips onto her breast, leaving a trail of marks in his wake.
He made sure to pay special attention to her body with both his mouth and his hand, Gabby releasing whimpers and moans as he continued his movements, her mind focused on nothing but him as he continued his way down her body.
Within seconds, he had her completely bare, his mouth joining where his fingers had just been, Matt settled in between her legs as he appreciated the most sensitive part of her body. She bit down roughly on her bottom lip as he spent time dedicating himself to her needs, Gabby lost in pleasure as her hands gripped his hair tightly, unable to stop the pants and moans that escaped through her lips.
Her release hit her like a train, her hips rising to meet his movements as he continued on through her finish, his attention to detail causing her head to spin.
Gabby sucked in deep breaths as Matt kissed his way up her body, before finally landing back on her lips, kissing her hungrily as her body trembled beneath him. He blindly reached into his bedside table, pulling out the only thing they needed as he felt Gabby's hand slide underneath his boxers, grabbing ahold of him with a firm grip. The force of his movements calmed momentarily as he relished in the feeling of her stroking him, Matt removing the last item of clothing between them and pulling her hand away from him, holding it against the pillow beside her head.
Gabby raised a curious eyebrow at him as he ripped open the foil package with his teeth, dropping the grip on her arm to slide the condom on.
"You're distracting me." He grunted as he covered her body with his, not giving Gabby a chance to respond as he slid into her.
She released a sharp whimper at his movement, Matt starting off slow to give her a second to adjust. But within moments she was urging him on, wrapping her legs around his waist as he picked up the pace, Matt transitioning from slow, steady movements to slamming into her hard and fast, his reckless movements causing her to dig her nails into his back, no doubt leaving marks of her own on his skin as they moved together.
There was nothing romantic or intimate about their actions. It was rough, it was needy. It was exactly what she came here for.
Gabby glanced over to the clock beside his bed as she lay there under the sheets, the thin material covering her while she waited for Casey to come back. It was nearing midnight, and while she had no intentions of being here this long, part of her is glad she was. She got what she needed, she had been able to forget about everything for a few hours. But now that their rounds of fun were over, she had nothing else to distract her, and the thought scared her.
"Here you go." Casey spoke as he walked through the bedroom door, clad in only his boxers, Gabby seeing him holding a glass of water as well as what appeared to be her bra that she'd dropped in the hallway.
Grabbing both items, she gave him a sheepish grin, taking a sip of the water before placing it down on the nightstand. "Thank you." She replied quietly, dropping her grip on the sheets as they bunched at her waist, Gabby feeling his eyes on her as she put her bra back on.
Glancing back up, she found him still watching her, Gabby's eyes bouncing around the room as she looked for her things. "Can you, uh, hand me my clothes?" She questioned, suddenly feeling vulnerable under his stare, and she wasn't sure why.
Silently, Matt moved around the room, finding her pants and underwear rather quickly, but her shirt was a different story. "You heading home?" He asked as he dropped the clothing down in front of her, moving towards his dresser after his search for her shirt proved useless.
"Yeah, I gotta get going." She replied, standing up to put her clothes back on, glancing at Matt curiously as he placed one of his t-shirts down on the bed.
"I couldn't find your shirt." He answered her silent question, Gabby nodding as she slid the material over her body, the large clothing hanging off her body.
Clearing her throat, she looked up at him, finding him standing at the edge of his bed. "This… this can't happen again." She spoke, seeing a look of something she couldn't read flash in Matt's eyes before he ultimately nodded.
"I know."
"I shouldn't have even come here." She rambled, shaking her head as she walked past him, heading for the door.
"Then why did you?" He called, stopping her movements, his question causing her to turn back around.
"I needed the distraction, I don't know… why does it matter?"
"So you were using me." He stated, Gabby's eyes narrowing challengingly.
"Yeah, and…?" She questioned, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's not any different than all the women you use on a weekly basis. All the times you pick up women in bars, use them for the night. Honestly I was shocked there wasn't a line of women out the door when I got here." She spoke bitterly, Matt's glare matching hers as he took a step towards her.
"You know, if you're only gonna come here for a quick fuck, you could at least be a little nicer about it." The words left his mouth harshly, the man clearly frustrated with her behavior.
"Why? God, why does it even matter to you? Why do you care that I came here just to sleep with you, I didn't figure you for the type to get attached."
"I'm not attached to you, trust me, but I just don't get why you chose me to distract yourself. There's plenty of bars, plenty of men in this city that you don't work with, that don't work with your ex."
"I don't know, Casey, alright? Jesus, if I had known this was gonna turn into you getting your feelings hurt, I would've never come here. You didn't seem to have a problem with me being here ten minutes ago when we were in bed together. And I'm not even sure why you're suddenly all defensive about what I said, it's not like it's a lie." She bit out, Matt's glare focused in on her. "The night we met you said I didn't even know you, but I do know you. And you're the same exact guy I thought you were. You sleep around, without a care in the world for the women you hook up with. But then suddenly when someone does that to you, you can't handle it. Grow up, Casey. It's not like this is ever gonna happen again anyway, so just get the fuck over it." She spoke harshly, her words slicing straight through him.
He knew she was upset. That whatever brought her here had hurt her, and she was taking her problems out on him. But that was all she had done since they met, and he was tired of it. Too tired to stop himself from responding with words he probably shouldn't have said.
"You know, I know you're miserable and your life is a goddamn mess, but did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason everything in your life is such a shit show is because of how you treat people?" He spoke angrily, Matt missing the way her hard exterior cracked slightly, his words hitting her deeper than she'd ever tell him. "Just because your life is falling apart, that doesn't mean everyone else has to be just as unhappy as you are."
Gabby refused to drop his gaze as his harsh words pierced through her, her eyes narrowing at him as they stood feet apart.
"Go to hell, Casey." Her voice was rigid, Gabby turning to leave his room immediately after she spoke, tears welling in her eyes as she hurried out of the apartment.
Matt stood in his bedroom, his body flooded with guilt as the weight of his words hit him, wincing as he heard his front door slam shut against the frame. Rubbing his hand over his mouth, he shook his head angrily, knowing tonight had made everything between them so much worse.
So… things aren't going too great right now. Gabby's really struggling with everything, and even though she tried to use Matt as a distraction that backfired. But you all also got a little more insight into Matt's past this chapter, but there's definitely a lot more to learn there. I'm super excited to continue to dive into their past, I love you guys getting to learn more and more about them as we go.
Thank you all so much for reading. If you can, please leave me a review so I know what you thought. I appreciate the support so much.