Down there, in a deep underground villain lair, Robbi Rotten was trying to sleep. He couldn't, of course, after sleeping 13 hours already, but the sound of basketball, and screaming children didn't help either. He was furious. Got out of the fluffy orange armchair, let out a line of insults in a very modest form, including some "Sportaflop", "that blue kangaroo" and "god damn rubber muscled cricket", just to feel better about it.
He threw his blanket to the corner in rage, and went to see what's going on out there. The purple google eyed periscope could see the children from afar, but could not find Sportacoock anywhere, and that was enough to make Robbie's brain light up with ideas.
– Why is the "blue jumparound" is not playing with the kids? The sun is already up, but he is nowhere to be found. – he wondered – Maybe he went away, and will never come back! – his face lit up to the idea of a Lazytown without Sportacus, but his happiness melted away in instance.
– I have no such luck, like that – his shoulders went down in defeat.
But as his brain was flashing with a simple, but genius idea!
– He doesn't have to leave, they just need to believe he left for good! I need to send a letter to the children in his name! – he was pacing back and forth in excitement – But when he comes back, they will realise the truth, so I need to make sure he never comes back. – Robbie ran his fingers along his chin, until he held up his pointing finger, just holding a thought in place.
– I will send him a letter too – he went for a paper, and it took him a minute to find a pen in his messy drawers.
"Dear Sportacus!" – he wrote in beautiful letters, while his face turned into a disgusted grin – "We decided with the other kids, that we are too cool to play sports with you".
– No this is bad. Try "we are big enough to play and do sports without you". That is the one. "Thank you for everything, we are good on our own from now on, please go find some other children to play with, who needs you. Don't even come back to say goodbye. Stephanie"
– Well, that is perfect. I am truly a genius. – Robbie complimented himself, smiling – now for the other letter.
Robbie worked on the other letter much harder, it wasn't easy to mimic Sportacus' annoying style in written form.
When he finally finished, he put both masterpieces in a separate envelope.
Now only one thing was missing!
– It's disguise time!
He walked ceremonially up to the costume displays, and licked his lips in excitement.
– Now let's see what we have here.
There were five costumes waiting for him to choose from. The first from the right was a pure black suit, the next to the left was a pink skirt with white blouse and a black wig, the next was a big fluffy floral dress with a blond wig, next to it a trashman clothing, and at the end: a postman uniform. Robbie walked step by step in front of the outfits, taking them one by one in consideration.
– Too classy. Too sassy. Too dressy. Too messy – then he paused for a moment – perfect!
He slid across his fingers the purple control panels, and in a blink of an eye he turned himself into a postman in a shirt and shorts. He had a curly moustache, a fake messy eyebrow, a hat, and a very stuffed bag. His disguise was complete. He was half way up the ladder, when he realised he left down the letters. Robbie wasn't sure what is more painful, landing on his backside, or climbing down and back again, because the climb was already an agony. He shrugged, cursed a little again, and finally released the ladder. On the way down he did regret his decision tho.
When he got out of the hatch he cursed his outfit pick because of the damn bag. He adjusted his disguise for the last time, and he was ready to get rid of Sportacus until forever.
His plan was without a flaw until he heard Sportaflop's unmistakable accent from behind the wall.
– Let me talk to the Major about that. Let's see if he can give you a job. – Sportacus said to someone.
– Woah, man, the Major? I'm not some kind of behind the desk prick. – the voice of a woman answered him.
– Please Cassie, could you not swear around the kids? – he said with a serious but soft voice.
– I'm sorry Dude, I'll try to keep my mouth clean. I'll eat a bleach gum, or somethin' – her voice was playful – Don't look at me like that!
Robbie heard her laughing behind the wall.
– I was joking, but I promise, I will be more careful with my words. – she assured the hero.
"A bad girl in Lazytown?" Robbie's fake postman eyebrows run higher on his face in surprise.
But the curiosity could not fight the anger he felt about his plan falling apart before it even began to get in motion. He ripped off his moustache, fake eyebrows, and his hat, and stormed around the wall to face Sportaidiot and whoever that dirty talking Cassie was.
He saw the two comfortably leaning against the wall, watching the children play with a skateboard. He smashed his bag down and looked at the blue hero in fury.
– Why can't you just disappear into oblivion, you flippity pain in my existence?!
Sportacus was surprised by his words, his jaw dropped in confusion.
– What have I done? – he asked, looking at Cassie and Robbie in confusion.
– I guess you got mail – Cassie said, chuckling uncomfortably, and pushed herself into her feet to stand between his new friend and this tall, rude postman in shorts.
Robbie stepped back in surprise, looking that female up and down.
Piercings, boyish clothes, a lot of clickety-clack-y accessories around. Her figure was way smaller than his, still as she stood tall before him, he was feeling much smaller in his skin.
– Hi, I'm Cassie – she flashed her eyes, offering her hand, but Robbie jumped back an inch.
Robbie didn't grab her hand, just stood up straight, and fixed his uniform.
– I know, and I don't care. – he said looking into her eyes. He was intimidated by her, but he wasn't going to admit it, so he leaned closer to her face – Just be quiet.
As he turned around and bent down to get his fake postman bag from the ground, Cassie clicked her tongue at the view.
Robbie stormed away, leaving an audible trail of insults, which was slowly fading as he got further from them.
– I guess he doesn't like you. – Cassie said, turning towards Sportacus.
– I guess you are right – he nodded with a sad smile.
– What happened? – Stephanie arrived, looking worried, followed by the other kids.
– It is okay, it was just Robbie. – Sportacus assured her.
– Robbie Rotten? – the kids shouted in surprise.
– Someone has to tell me what the f… – Cassie glanced at Sportacus – fluff just happened. – she finished, earning an assuring smile from Sportacus by her correction.
– That was Robbie – Stephanie explained – the laziest person in Lazytown.
– He never wants us to play – Ziggy joined in – and he always eats cake.
– And he never shares – Stingy added with a serious nod.
– He is sleeping all day, and when he isn't, he tries to make Sportacus leave the town – said Pixel, to add another entry to Robbie's list of sins.
– Forever! – added Trixie dramatically.
– Oh I see – Cassie said – so the postman is a bad guy, got it.
– He is not even a postman! – Trixie said enthusiastically – that is just a disguise!
– He is not very good at this as I see – Cassie said tilting her head – Sportacus recognised him right away.
– He is usually better at this – Sportacus admitted it– it is very strange. But he is definitely a bad guy.
Everyone agreed on that, and suddenly Stingy took the opportunity to get away with the skateboard. When the kids ran after him calling his name, he started to scream "But it's MINE!", what made Cassie and Sportacus chuckle.
– So that was the lazy villain of Lazytown! What a day! – she said as Trixie was catching up with Stingy.
– But still, he got me thirsty a little, if you know what I mean – she said with a smirk. Sportacus didn't understand it, so he offered help immediately, and called up to his airship for water.
A bag dropped to his hand, and it had a bunch of reusable blue water bottles in it. Sportacus offered Cassie a bottle. She was already tearing up from laughter, and Sportacus looked at her in confusion, which made her laugh even harder.
– Thanks man! – she said, still wiping her eyes – You are so nice!
– I try my best – he said, but he had a suspicion he missed something.
Stephanie came back first to invite them along to the pirate ship playground, and Sportacus offered her a water bottle too.
They followed the kids with the bag, it was already a warm day, they will need the water too. When they arrived, and handed out the "rum for the pirates", the last bottle was for Sportacus, who told everyone how important it is to keep hydrated in the summer.
But Cassie was still curious about that strange man.
– So you are the good guy, and he is the bad? – she asked while drinking water with Sportacus.
– Yes, you can say that. – he answered in a hurry, he already wanted them to join the pirates. In the meantime Cassie's skateboard became a treasure and Stingy was already on his way to sneak away with it.
– What was his name again? – she asked while they jumped the playground fences.
– It's Robbie Rotten. – he explained, following Cassie – He is the villain in town, and I am the hero. But not a superhero, just a Slightly Above Average Hero. – he smiled and took a big sip from his bottle.
– I never got a thing for bad boys – she said silently, because the kids were near enough to hear them - But he's got a nice ass tho. – She said, as she passed him, what made him spit all the water out.
– Sportacus are you okay? – Stephanie rushed to the hero in surprise. Sportacus just nodded in tears, but he could not answer. He was hiding his blushing face and smile from Stephanie, so he wouldn't need to explain what was so funny.